Hollywood Handbook - Mary Sohn, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

The Boys help MARY SOHN enter the lucrative world of podcast adaptations. Check out the new summer edition of the Hat Pack Hat HEREWatch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm Go to MackWeldon.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code THEBOYS.Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/THEBOYSSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I have an H-E-A-D-A-C-H-E with the financial state of this nation. It used to be a country, now we're a nation. I mean this spanking that I'm getting from interest rates right now. I can practically see the welts popping out of your chinos, my friend, because the spanking you're getting is so thorough and so aggressive. My chinos are being frayed to like transparency. They're sheer. They were threadbare to begin with just because, you know, let's face it.

Let's face it. Let's face it. The guy's packing something back, back in the trunk there. So, it- So, you should have cup holders, but damn, this spanking. It's not good, and I can hear it. I mean, it's deafening.

The sound of the mighty slap of the hand of interest rates against- The welts are like, thump, they're like Chad Smith's bass drum. Right, Kevin? I mean, I'm not like a- Nice, Kevin, you're a drummer. I'm not a drum guy. I'm not a drum expert, but I hear them. There's like a specific sound

that Chad Smith specifically makes with his- With that bass drum? Yeah. Yeah, and they're going double time, man. Fucking, it's a drum line remake over here on Hayes' damn ass cheeks. Mary, I watch you on- Mary, let us talk.

On Doughboys. I'm sorry, like- I seen you on Doughboys. And I was like, you know, trying to get to your part, but they like, I can't give you the show that they give you at the top of the episode. They talk so fucking much. And it's like, every time it's like,

now we're going on our like 50th trip to every restaurant. So it's like, are we still doing an intro on this? Like, can we just, can we just say like, here's a link to the last one where we already talked about it? It just doesn't feel necessary anymore. I wish I could provide for you in that way. And we haven't been on the show in so long. Like, I honestly do not, like, what is that like?

I don't really remember being there. What is it like to be in a recording with them? Being regaled like that, like, I can't do it. No. It feels like a fever dream, honestly, because we recorded for two and a half hours. Yeah. That, no, and you got off light.

I mean, I would go on that show, I'd be eating something on that show already, a gun. Yeah. It's true. I'd take a big old bite. I give this fucking cyanide capsule hidden in my tooth, fucking five forks. Most satisfying meal of my life.

Ha! Ha! Oh, those boys. But I mean, I would love, I mean, I would be so amazing to do it again. I really do want to do it. I would be a dream of mine. I'd love to so amazing to do it again. I really do want to do it. I would be a dream of mine. I'd love to see you boys do that again.

You don't know what you got till it's gone. And at the times that I was doing Doughboys, and we did it at least twice, I remember, of course I was flying high, but I thought it would last forever. And having gone six or seven years and having gone six or seven years since I'm realizing that the world was in the palm of my hands at that time.

And so congratulations to you, you're just on the show. They put on a hell of a show for you. You got off light in terms of two and a half hours. That's a short episode for them. Yeah, you guys came in with a little bit of bullying energy. Bullying? Yeah, a little bit bully-ish. To who?

To the boys. When we did that, when we did the show. Well, I was there. You were in that episode? You weren't there? Oh, that's, oh yeah, that's right. You were there. I was behind the couch.

Sorry, I totally forgot. Yes, that's right. I would pop in and give you a little massage yeast. You were popping up, yes, that's right. Yeah, that's right. You were there. I was behind sorry. I totally forgot. Yes And yes, you were popping up. Yes. Yeah, that's right. I remember someone was That was you who was I was sad. Gee sad. Gee new and Wow, that's right. I remember not ever hearing that before or since yeah Adopting his thing, but I'd you please But I was trying to be nice. You picked it up fast, yeah. And I remember never really being comfortable saying it. Was I not supposed to say it like that?

Like you, like, I don't know. Yeah, it's what you're saying, so then it's just like, oh well, will she think it's rude if I don't use the same terminology? It's interesting, because I am trained in giving It's interesting because I am trained in giving massages. And I never heard it or said it. And I thought like, am I wrong or is she?

But the way you were doing it was not like a train. It didn't feel like a school. Yeah, it was kind of my own thing. Yeah, we were freestyling a little bit. Yeah, self thought, self thought. In terms of technique, yeah. It was, it was so unpleasant. I mean, no offense meant here, but it was like,

the sensation was horrifying. I mean, it would just be, you'd go, let me see if I can do this. Like in my ear, you go, let me see if I can do this. Like in my ear you go, let me see if I can do this. And then I would hear you rummaging around in your cargo shorts pocket for like a tool or something. And then I would feel what I thought was like a corkscrew being just like raked along the top of my shoulder.

And it was so Painful and also like scary like really scary feeling I thought the pockets I don't know I wish the some kind of tool had been involved because I Thought the pockets there's so many pockets bill I thought one had like a gelatin or something in it something or almost like a dredge for like if you're frying something. So like one had like the egg mixture or whatever

and like the other had something like sand or like something like little particles. There was definitely, yeah, there was definitely kind of baking ingredients that were being used. And I wanna say when I mentioned that you were digging around in your cargo shorts pocket, you weren't wearing cargo shorts. No.

Yeah, you were holding them. It was like a purse, I guess, where it was like a strap over your shoulder and then you just had cargo shorts hanging down that you would pull out. Yeah. All kinds of crazy things. Have you seen a masseuse ever bring a purse around? that you would pull out all kinds of crazy things. Have you seen a masseuse ever bring a purse around?

No, they wear some sort of apron or something. Yeah, but they wear it. They wear it. So you know that they wear it. Sure, they wear it. Okay. But what was your favorite part? Because I know I like to come in with a surprise. No like warming up.

And I get the sand out. The gelatin. We did pop up. Yeah. Yeah, it was, we didn't get any advance notice that that was gonna happen. And then of course the episode was. My favorite part is when I thought it was over.

Oh no. Initially. It's like a Doughboyz episode. That's on King Kong. No it's not. Because even when the episode was over, you were like, where are you guys going? Yeah.

I thought it was like associated with the episode in some way, but it was separate. Well, that was like kind of at the beginning when I was just like turning it out. That was the beginning. Yeah, that's what I learned. Now people at Headgum are like basically checking my avail constantly.

People at Headgum are checking your avail constantly. Okay. Like are you availing? Why? What people are doing this? Yeah, which people and why? What people are doing this? Because I know like not that many people here honestly, so I'd actually like to actually know more about who works here.

Yeah, there are theoretically people at Headgum. There are theoretically people at HeadGum. So you know, and you don't have a podcast, and I wanna talk more about this, but you don't have a podcast here. Bit of a sore spot, yeah. You have, okay, well that seems like what you could address with your work. Yeah, that feels like as a massage.

Yeah. As a massage doer. Okay. What do you want the language to be? What do you want the language to be? Yeah, yeah. What do you want the language to be? I'd like to get that clear. Yeah. Cause I don't want to step in it. I think I'm more of like a sedgy sedgy healer.

Okay, but I don't want to be saying that. But that's the pod. Okay. So. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, I would think that a source pod for you would be.

I don't want that to be the pod necessarily. If I have any say in this, I I don't want that to be the pod necessarily. If I have any say in this, I don't really want that to be the pod. Well, but we shouldn't, because I did want to address, like, obviously, we've talked about having you on the show. Frankly, I do the show all the time. I'm sick of the show.

You've never done the show. So I do want you to feel empowered because it is your episode. And people say you've never done the show. So I do want you to feel empowered because it is your episode. And people say you've never done the show and people say not for lack of trying, but I would say for lack of trying. Mm-hmm. In this case, right? Definitely a name that we have like hit the thumbs up

on a lot of like Kevin going like, I gonna ask Mary, should I ask me? And it's always like, yeah, great, get Mary. And then we'll kind of hear like, talk to Mary. And I'll go, okay, is she doing the show? Not right now. And so that has been like sort of a two year,

three year process process I think. I'm really glad you're bringing this up actually. It's because I found the emails from Kevin Offputting. Well everyone finds the emails from Kevin Offputting. You know, hey Mary, oh okay. Pretty informal. With love if you could do the show. Love, okay. Pretty informal. With love, if you could do the show. I didn't.

It's always love. Isn't that so gross? Like, you're talking about love. Yeah. And he puts- Why are you talking about love? He puts in parentheses romantic. Right.

Which I'm like, okay. I guess that's necessary because that's not how I would have read it. But also, maybe you should just let me think what I did, which is like you're a little too interested in the idea, not that it is for you, a romantic relationship at this point. But you're on CBB World. Right?

You're able to do that. Yeah, CBB World. Are they checking your avails? Headgums checking your avails. Is CBB World checking your avails? They're checking for me. They're checking for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm. And it's funny because those actually feel like a dream. You know, it's like a super easy walk-in do it. Yeah. Even though Tim, as you guys know, is a bit of a terrorist. Just a mean bastard. We don't use that word lightly. No, no.

In this case, there is actually no other word. No, because it's a powerful world. There's a war on terror. Yeah. And Tim is winning. Winning. Yeah. Yeah.

He is taking home the trophy on that one. Oh yeah, I find myself constantly being like, okay, you asked us to be on this pod, can you pass the mic? Right? You know? Like you asked us to be here. I wouldn't mind getting one mic once at some point on the show. Can I have the mic? Right? You know? Like you asked us to be here. I wouldn't mind getting one mic once at some point

on the show. Can I have one question? Can I have one mic? Can I have one mic once? And can I have one life to live? Thank you. God, Tim. Nah, Tim sucks. Tim sucks. That shit sucks.

I'm sorry, you have to go through that. I mean, but you know, I mean, look, look who you're talking to. You know I'm at all those recordings. I've never been given the mic once. It's fucking CBB's world and I'm just living it, man. And he is actually doing massages that he's trained to do. I'm doing, yeah, I'm doing an opening effleurage. Yeah, I'm going full back.

He actually went to school for it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing Z-stroke on the neck and I'm just getting it all. I'm digging deep into those suboccipital muscles. For me. Z-stroke. Yeah, Z-stroke. It's Yeah, Z-Strope. It's like a Z-Snap. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh. Well to that I wanna say a thousand slaps to you. But your supine soup's on. At the time you were supine, soup's on. I don't know. Mary, we've had this, you know how sometimes they come to you with like,

we're looking for this role for someone and you're like, it's not me, but I feel like I can be the connector and bridge the gap on this and figure out who's right for this role. We like to think of ourselves in this way as people who put others in a position to succeed, even though we ourselves appear to be, you know, outwardly on the surface,

supremely unsuccessful, that doesn't mean that we're never in contact with success. We've actually, I think I'm proud, we've actually discovered a lot of really interesting voices on the show and managed to give them a platform to kind of enjoy the spoils of the entertainment business on a level that we, you know, outwardly don't appear to be partaking of.

With the expectation, with the expectation that when we are old, when we are very old, then at some point we come to them and say, can I please have something to eat? One day I'm going to ask you for a favor. A little snack. cheese a cracker, and so we're building this little Pokemans collection where we have all our little Pokemans in here and they all are in they all have different powers I'm a grimer. Marry some, I choose you. A grimer. Thank you. Grimer, attack. Grimer, grimer. Grimer, grimer. Grimer, grimer.

Grimer, grimer. Grimer, grimer. And so we have been looking for the Reese Witherspoon of podcasts. A sweetheart, a sweetheart. We need America's sweetheart. Yes, yes, yes. But she's gotta have a little bite.

For sure. She's gotta be fe she's gotta have a little bite. For sure. She's gotta be feisty. And also a connector as well, and someone who is outward facing, but also developing, but like a rotten is taking IP. Right. Right.

Adding a little something to it. Seeing it, seeing the vision, right? OK, this is something people have enjoyed. OK. Can we transform it? Can we take some of the concepts here, some of the elements that people love and can we repackage it, reheat it and serve it again?

And so we think, who's, who like, who's, okay, Reese Witherspoon podcast. Like, you just like, you say it over and over again, and like who? Reese Witherspoon podcast, Reese Witherspoon podcast. And eventually we started saying, Mary Swithersone. Mary Switherspone. Wow. Mary Switherspone. Mary Switherspone. Mary Switherspone. Mary Switherspoon. Mary Switherspoon. Wow. Mary Switherspoon. Mary Switherspoon.

Mary Switherspoon. Mary Switherspoon. Mary Switherspoon. Is what we said. Of podcasts. Mary Switherspoon. Mary Switherspoon. Of podcasts. Of podcasts. Of podcasts. Okay, and once we started saying that.

Could we actually be finding the Mary Switherspoon of podcasts? Of podcasts? Once we hit that, we thought, we've got a third of an episode here. Like, there's no way this doesn't fill 12 or so minutes. And we've done nine. Oh, we're ahead of the curve. Mm-hmm.

Whoa. Just introducing the idea was two or three minutes. And now we can really get into the meat of it. Yeah, whoa. I'm shocked to hear this because I thought you were saying- Well, don't be shocked yet. Okay, okay, okay. Don't be shocked yet.

Okay, okay. This drink you have. Oh, it's so much. For the wild ones. It's so fucking classy. For my baby Kev. For me and my baby Kev. Speaking of the wild ones,

can you wear a huge backpack? Oh, you have to have Pokeballs and such? No, we, so. Help me. Let me explain. We have the Pokeballs, you're inside the Pokeball. Okay. We're throwing you.

You said you were Grimer. Didn't you say, like, do you know what, Grimer doesn't wear a backpack. Right. The wild one wears a backpack. Jesus, Grimer wears a backpack. Okay, this is gonna be. And this is why I say, like, don't be shocked yet, because we do have to. Okay, this is gonna be. And this is why I say don't be shocked yet,

because we do have to actually talk this out. We're not gonna make this decision based on the fact that we said the name Mary's Witherspode. Which we came up with. Okay. Which a lot of that. Do you understand that's not enough for us to like. We did a lot of the work on that.

Make a whole investment on this. Okay, where are we at time wise, Kevin? Just the name Mary's Witherspode., where are we at time wise, Kevin? It's 18. Okay, good, we're doing good, we're doing good. There could be potentially a different Mary's Witherspoon if you don't deliver today. Okay.

The huge backpack. Of podcasts. Is important for, like, if we're having a Reese Witherspoon of podcasts, like, she is, I mean, Wild was, that was big for her. Okay, yeah. So she is going into these meetings, she is introducing this IP, she's reading books,

and she's still wearing this huge backpack. Gigantic, because she, ultimately, she's on a journey of discovery. Just because she's not being wild right now, doesn't mean that she's not kind of taking in every moment and allowing it to affect and transform her, even when she's in a business meeting with a publishing company or something.

So even when you're sitting down with Amir, to talk about turning the Doughboys into a limited series for Hulu, you know what I mean? Ideally without their participation. Yeah, yeah. Just because like, don't nobody wanna see that. Little friars everywhere No one wants to see the doughboys limited to

Know I'd say most people don't want to see the doughboys so people don't want to see the Doughboys. So, certainly not in a limited series capacity. These pants have gotten so short, sorry. You know what, the show will do that. The show will do that. It'll shrink your jeans. It's gonna affect your pants one way or another. Hayes, meanwhile, is getting these giant welts.

Welts. That are busting out of his fucking chinos. What are those, duck head? Are these duck head chinos? Mm-hmm. Those duck head? What's so funny, duck head? No, it's fine.

Yeah, sure, these are duck head chinos. What's so funny is that you think these are duck head. We're looking at these chinos and we're deciding that these are duckhead chinos. Yes. Tell me you don't know what duckhead chinos are without telling me you don't know what duckhead chinos are. And it's like, I love this that people learn the term

duckhead and then they're just like, oh, I'm free to use this whenever. And now everything's duckhead chinos and we act like we know something. Yeah, maybe just do a little more research. I love that as well. Before you come. I miss the Doughboys so bad.

So bad, I miss those baby boys. And we miss them too. Well, we have yet to, we're circling an answer on the backpack question. We're not actually getting any closer. Oh, they're great, yeah. It can be a duck head backpack if you want. Probably thinks that's something. getting any closer feels like. Oh, they're great, yeah. It can be a duck head backpack if you want.

Probably thinks that's something. If that's what it takes, then sure, sure. It's a duck head backpack. Okay, I'm back on board. Go on. So you can wear the big backpack. Oh yeah. And we can.

That's great. That's great. And we will manage filling the back. So like what happens to Reese, and this is gonna happen to you, is the backpack is so huge, you are like tipping over backwards and you're stuck. Okay.

Like you are not gonna be able to turn over. That's where the little plastic hose comes in that you put in your mouth and you can drink. Even if you're all alone and no one is gonna be checking on you for days. You will be for a lot of this process. Because you're gonna need to, Reese needs to disconnect at times,

she needs to get away from you a little bit. So she'll go out to James Tree, which is like Joshua Tree. Yeah, but it's a little less popular. Yeah, and it's a little less popular. Yes. Yeah, it's really small and It's different kind of tree and she'll fall backwards almost immediately She'll like walk and walk into her little Verbo and just be like, ah Finally, thank goodness. Whoa Tip over backwards, completely stuck.

Just three weeks in this Verbo, but luckily, there's plenty of, peanut butter mixed with water so it goes through the hose in the backpack. That's what the backpack's full of, and that's why it's so heavy, but that's also what allows you to survive on the nutrients. Protein, right? That's all you need.

Sodium. Butter. Peanut. Of peanut, of peanut form. And so all these things with hydration? Not bad. I wanna get a sense. You have no questions on that, that's good. No, well,. You have no questions on that?

That's good. No, well I do have some questions on that. Okay, I said it was good that you took, but then you're immediately like, I do. But go ahead. Well, I guess I just wanna be realistic. I don't wanna over promise. I will fight. That's awesome.

I will fight. But I do have some issues with the C3, C4, and sometimes that back, but I really pull. Oh my goodness. Yeah, I had a bulge disc, so. Oh, Saji, Saji, heal my self. Not enough Z-stroke. Thank you.

Not enough Z-stroke, right? I need that Z-stroke. The Z-stroke is the death stroke, is what I've heard. Okay, I didn't know that. Well, you might have to do some upkeep on the learning. I think for the purposes of the upcoming trial, it's best if I can still maintain that I was not aware of that.

Okay. Yes. Okay. So the C3, C4. That's so bad for me. That's the death stroke, that's so bad. I was doing it so much and, and that guy was so dead.

I know it's not the Z-stroke I said. All I did was a little Z-stroke. And it's the death stroke. That's gotta be connected. Hollywood Handbook. Rockabye money on my finance app. That's right, Rocket Money is back and they are advertising with us

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and like we're always talking about the ads and like the and the and the products that we sell. And we were talking about Mack Weldon, how much we love our, you were saying you wear your I wore my Silver Crewneck t-shirt like two days ago. I went from the beach to the boardroom in it basically. I was wearing it for a work meeting and then I also wore it to play basketball in the driveway. I was talking about how I wear my silver denim jeans. Yes, I wear Mack Weldon jeans. I wear the silver, the air knit underwear everywhere.

I haven't busted out my polo yet. It's not quite time, but I think within the next like two weeks, it will become a staple. And these are elevated basics that just work. They work in combination. And we said at the same time, peacocking is for the birds. Yes. And it's just an inescapable idea when you're talking about Mack Weldon. And Kevin did burst out full on crying.

Started like thrashing around over behind the recording unit there. I thought he was gonna pull out all the wires and just said like, how could you say that? Why would you bring that up? Because what happened, Kevin? Do you like tell me what happened? Yeah.

Peacock in my neighborhood die. And there's a lot of them in your neighborhood, right? Dozens. But not so many that one that you don't notice when one is falls over dead. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes around my roof, I say to Leah Christmas come early. And that's not about the one when one died.

I just want wanna make sure, cause you were sat, you don't like- Just cause they're on the roof? Whoa. Hollywood handbook. So what we're doing, Okay. And what Reese is doing,

is it's a, it's basically a pump and dump scam. Have you seen Boiler Room? You ever watch Boiler Room? Oh, okay. It's like she's taking like for books- Rent it. She's, it's for books, she's taking like, or like, webistics. Like a book is basically like webistics,

where you're like calling these suckers, old people, and being like, hey, this book kicks ass. Oh, I'm reading this book right now, I love it. That's her. I have an opportunity for you to get in on this book right now, I love it. That's her. I have an opportunity for you to get in on this book right now today, before anyone else is aware of the book. But it's speculative. I wouldn't want you to take a bath on this book.

I personally am putting all of my assets into this book. But I don't want you to be at risk in that way. The opportunity for growth with the book is obviously very great. Uh, but, um, you know, you seem like someone you'd rather be safe and just stay in an older book like the dictionary. And now this book is going to the moon, HODL. And as that's happening, Reese is prepared, like she's selling the IP to Hulu on FXX and as and like now like as soon as the deal is done yanks it she's like oh actually

this book was good now oh you like that book and everyone who's left like holding the book she's double booking yes she's double book okay and everyone else like everyone is holding the book is taking's double booking. Yes. She's double booking. Okay. And everyone else, like everyone who's holding the book is taking a bath, which can be quite nice. Leaves you holding the book, yeah. Holding a book in the bath. Sure. But I'm not like this.

Not like this. Left holding the book, oof. Are you getting, like are you getting, and so like we can do this for podcasts. No one wants to see this fucking Doughboy's limited series. Come on man, nobody wants to see this shit. But you come along, you're the Mary Switherspona podcast and you're pumping this thing up.

Like, holy, like, have you heard of some of this like behind the scenes drama? Oh, okay, so behind the scenes and okay. So you're saying that I'm sort of the scenes drama. Oh, okay. So behind the scenes and okay. So you're saying that I'm sort of the pumper. The pumper and also the dumper as well. Sure, sure. Some of the backstory of these two meetings is actually insane.

Whoa, okay. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Dude, this actually would make a fucking epic limited series. And then it's like, which of course it wouldn't. They just fucking were doing, you know, they both were just two of the last people left standing

without someone to talk to at some UCB function. Like just like specific enough, you know, social disorders. Sure, sure, sure. That like there's no one else they matched with like just like specific enough, you know, social disorders. Sure, sure, sure. That like there's no one else they matched with and then it's just like click, click, and then they're there.

And they have. They're not even enjoying it. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like.

And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. And they have the like. That's all you need. Okay, okay. I actually thought of... Oh, I don't know.

I like a minion in here. Yes. That's all. That's all it is. We know that it sucks, but like, you can pick it for Podcast Club. Not that, but it is that.

And... Rocket Ship to the moon hotel. Yeah, it's just. And then it's gone, like they're gonna be. The people in the podcast club, like really trust me. So I don't know if I can just. Yes, this is good, this is good. I love that you're protective of the people in the podcast club. Well.

These fucking patsies. Roobs. They're scum. Roobs. Oh. These fucking patsies. Rubes. This scum. Rubes. Fell off the turnip truck. Oh my God. But that's just kind of like how I am my own moral code. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's perfect. Because of course we'd like to share them many times. We can skin them but once. So I do think that's a very wise position to take at this moment At some point we're gonna have to fucking pull up stakes and like actually Blow the whole thing apart You know next town. I don't know I

Don't know exactly what We're gonna do you like a Simpsons, can you do a limited series? Is it legal to do a limited series about a Simpsons recap podcast? And then to basically, I mean like at some point, you can kind of like do the Simpsons. If you're doing, if the IP is like a Simpsons recap, and like you just kind of fall backwards into like,

eventually the hosts, whoever they are, obviously not people we would want on television. So they're kind of falling away, but every episode is them, and it's me being like, oh, I saw the most amazing Simpsons. Well, tell me about one of them. Let me tell you about one. Yeah, oh, I saw the most amazing Simpsons. Oh, tell me about that. Let me tell you about that.

Yeah, which one? Which Simpsons is it? It's, it's, what? And then we just like make up a Simpsons or whatever, or do, we don't even have to make it up, we just like. Or go, it's easier if I just show you. Yes. And then we don't.

And then boom, start playing the Simpsons. Yes, we just play the Simpsons. Right? We just hit play on the Simpsons. Yes, we just play the Simpsons. We just hit play on the Simpsons. Oh, wow. But it doesn't match up at all what we've just discussed? No. Don't know why you would ask that question.

It does match up. It is the Simpsons. It's the Simpsons. It is the Simpsons. We probably need to call it them Simpsons just to, just legally in order to get ourselves. Them Simpsons. A little bit of breathing room. Them Simpsons. The Simpsons. The Simpsons could work.

The Simpsons could work. Different Simpsons. We're just on here talking about different Simpsons. Yeah. The damn Simpsons. There's something in there. Yeah. Or you could do different ones.

Like you could, like why not have different ones every time? It's limited series, but you do a bunch of limited series and it's all the same thing. It's just every season of The Simpsons you basically come up with a new. Every time you get in trouble, you're like, okay, we're done, it's a limited series, we're done, we're done, we're done, sorry. I literally am not even doing it anymore.

Okay, okay, we're done, we're done. I've got a whole different show now, The Damn Simpsons. Yeah. Guys, I don't know, the more we talk about this, it's just, I don't know. What do you know? I fucking brought 100 ideas today and I haven't know. The more we talk about this, it's just... I don't know what to say. What do you know? I fucking brought a hundred ideas today, and I haven't heard anything except for, like, you don't know how it works. Okay.

And I'm trying to be very nice right now, and I'm being very calm. Hmm. But I'm getting furious... Oh. ...again, and I'm getting furious again, and I'm wondering, what are you gonna do to help? Morning show?

Where are we on morning show? Where are we on morning show? Like where does that fit in? Out of you. Because we can't get Aniston, so we'll just have to say she died, and then the whole thing is just the morning show. Everyone else died, we'll have to say pretty much.

Yeah, I know you guys. Duplass might do it. What about, well this is what I wanna talk to you guys about. I wanted to do morning show you. What about this, what about this? Collab with. What about this? Duplass. Collab.

Duplass Mitch. We cast Duplass as Mitch. Okay. Duplass Mitch. Well I guess I don't need to say my idea, you already did it. That was your idea. You had the same idea. Your idea was a parody of Duhas by Rammstein, my idea, you already did it. That was your idea? You had the same idea, Duplass Mitch.

A parody of Du Haas by Rammstein, is that correct? Rammstein did that one, yeah. That was your idea to do a cover of Du Haas where you say Duplass Mitch. Yeah. Okay, that's crazy you had the same idea. Well, no new ideas. Well, now I don't wanna say my idea.

I really are no new ideas. That's what we say to the simpsons when they're like, stop doing that, and we'll be like, you probably did this kind of stuff before already. There's no new ideas. There's no new ideas anymore. We're just cycling through and repackaging

and adding an M, you know? It's fine. What was yours? Because I guarantee that I also was about to bring that up. Had the same thing? Yeah. So whatever he's gonna say, you guarantee you were about to bring up the same thing? 100% I risk and wager my car keys.

Let her rip. I don't know anymore. I mean, now I don't wanna have to do this anymore. I don't know. I don't know. I risk and wager my car keys. Let her rip. I don't know anymore. I mean, now I don't want to say it because I know you're just going to like pounce on it and say, what's your idea? I'll see. Car keys are the dog. Does she have dogs, Kevin?

Does Reese have dogs? Yeah, she's got these little dogs. Sure would be a shame if anything happened to those dogs. I'm just saying, I mean that would be a real shame. A tragedy. I could take her out of the picture. Real quick. Somebody fell over, decided to fall over, and land on the dog.

The little dog. People fall over all the time. Mm-hmm. And those little dogs are always right near where you're falling lately. Just the way it goes, unfortunately. Thank you for shutting the door, Kevin. For this type of conversation.

Somebody fall over on those dogs. My idea was really just that we have Steve Carell, obviously, on the morning show. We're not necessarily loving what he's doing on there, but we all loved him on a different, much more popular show, Space Force. Space Force, Space Force. Perhaps General Mark Naird is making an appearance,

yes, on the morning show. We go through- He's mourning the loss of Jen. It's a conversation with costume first. We're gonna have to go to costume and then be like, hey, we have some tweaks to Steve's character. And. He's gonna be doing a little bit of a voice.

And he's gonna need a costume that gives his throat more room for the voice. Yes. And it's Mark Naird's uniform. General Mark Naird's uniform. Right? This is just- The Space Force uniform.

I know you're gonna say I'm a copycat, but- That was your idea as well. Didn't, Kevin, will you look up morning show that they go to space? Don't they go to space on that show He looks nothing He looks nothing. Yeah, you guys know the Wi-Fi password and we're on steam Okay How about this everybody's talking about Gen Z, but nobody's talking about Jen

It's true, it's true, we forgot all about Gen A. Forget something? That's her. Gen A to Gen Z. This is her talk show where she engages with the youth. The morning show also known as Morning Wars in Australia and Indonesia, interesting. I'm not sure if you've ever heard of it. I've heard of it. I've heard of it.

I've heard of it. I've heard of it. I've heard of it. I've heard of it. I've heard of it. I've heard of it. I've heard of it. I've heard of it. The Morning Show also known as Morning Wars in Australia and Indonesia. Interesting. Call it Hollywood Handbook. Hollywood Handbook Wars in Australia and Indonesia. Wow.

Indonesia, Kevin? That is not. That was the ice. I got that too. Indonesia? That actually. I got that too. I'm Yeah, I got that That I'm sick. I was I was getting that's hit my ear in a way that knew I was getting sick I fit I've been sick for a little while, but I think it was the anticipation of what Kevin was certainly going Hollywood Hamburg Indonesia war I

It's that's actually a generous version of what it was doing. Yeah, you're actually being very softening it a lot Yeah, because it was much more nauseating Did you look up they go to space Just say no Don't like don't take that you don't have to take the. Looks like no, I didn't look it up. Okay, thank you.

That's fine. That's fine. I'm back on you, Kev. That was fun. Yeah, Kevin will win you back every now and then with just a refreshing piece of honesty. No, I did not look it up. That's nice.

So, hmm. oh, hmm. Uh oh. What else are we getting Mary's Witherspoon? Mary's Witherspoon could be doing, okay, morning show, they did that already. Yeah, go ahead. Well, has she been in anything with Dax? We're trying to make these big podcasts

in a limited series. Inroads. Can we, if Reese and Dax, because what we could do is take the project they were in together and take his very successful, yes, empire, yes, of podcasting, talking, right? The armchair expert. This guy's got no qualifications except that he's smart as fuck and fun Have you ever considered getting very strong?

I have been thinking about getting sober Can't really recommend it. Hasn't had the career impact I thought it would. But if you could say, okay, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna get really, really strong. Then you go wherever people go to do that, he's there, we know that. It's called, I mean, it's called Armchair Experts for a reason, he's got a couple of barcaloungers up there.

Yeah, arm size of a damn fucking chair. Right, got it. Yep. And you guys are like on the whatever, like the big machine. Uh-huh. Venice Boulevard. Uh-huh. Venice Boulevard.

You're on the Venice Boulevard machine. Yes. Getting fucking loaded up with so much tea. Yes. This guy's spilling tea. He spilled more tea than then you've injected He's he's really He's really got it working

Who's so strong? and so now like you're making a connection with him, okay, and you like you're getting like the the licensing rights potentially for armchair expert the limited series show. And we get Dax, and then eventually, we will have to get rid of Dax. I mean, he's just too much of a threat. Sure, it's the Empire. It's not really, for us, we can't coexist. Yes, just's the Empire. It's not really gonna work for us. We can't coexist.

Yes, just the strength issue. It's just too dangerous. I have a family. Yeah. This interesting article about Dax and Reese. Okay. It's from Hello Jiggles. It says, Dax Shepard didn't hesitate

when choosing who should play Kristen Bell in a movie. Kristen Bell talked about who played her in a movie. She yelled to Shepard off camera for his thoughts. He said with no hesitation, Reese Witherspoon. Oh, okay. Mutual admiration society. This is perfect. And is it possible?

I mean, he's so far away when he's saying that. He's like calling from so far away. Is it possible that he was actually saying Mary's witherspoon? The idea that we heard exactly what he was saying, I mean, you said he called out, right? It's apocryphal, it's apocryphal.

If he's calling out, it's very to me, very, very apocryphal that he would have the exact quote, you know, properly translated into this article. I'd love, Kevin, for you to get the Hello Jiggles author on the phone. I assume this one was written by Sofifi, but I can't be sure. But get- I assume this one was written by Sofie Fee, but I can't be sure. But, guess.

Who was it? Was it Zozo or Sofie Fee? Doesn't say. Or number three. No byline. Yes, no byline. It's egalitarian. All this credit grabbing. You know what I mean?

It was truly a socialist website. So much respect for that philosophy. They couldn't let it, they could never let it survive. No, you know. They sent it, they did a CIA coup. Nothing gold can stay, eh? Robert Frost told us that. It really is such a perfect example

of late stage capitalism, right? Choking the life out of anything that is saying like, let's share. It's like, no, no, no, no, must compete. Oh, you know who would love it? Tim Balz. It's a fucking zero sum game with him with him huh there's only room for one king he says hello jiggles has never seen three gangs my line is actually so many

fucking show that guy three gangs it's your privacy choices. They've been writing a lot these days. Bye. That was a hate gum podcast.