Hollywood Handbook - Mitra Jouhari, Our Messy Friend

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

MITRA JOUHARI returns to talk with The Boys about her messiest moments. Check out our bonus episodes 5 days a week at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/priv...acy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. walk in the room yeah no that and what that's what i'm getting to is that it ended up being more of a stupid home okay they say that you can program the name that you know that you call your smart home to get the response you that you can program any name you want but try getting the name bringer bread because because what happens is they go did you mean benjamin and i go no actually i'm mad at benjamin right now i want bringer bread and they'll say did you mean gingerbread and i'll go no actually no that's kind of close to graham crackers which my friend and i are in a fight about right now so can you just do bringer bread and this and this smart home oh and by the way the color options on the lights are so limited close to graham crackers to me what isn't the flavor of graham crackers
Starting point is 00:01:15 basically like a gingery type flavor well am i crazy you can make a gingerbread house i guess with graham crackers i think people do if you're one of the poorest people who ever lived that's me or i guess i don't think it's worth i guess the money that i make and i'm not going to say how much it is but the money that i make to me is better spent on helping people specifically other young white harvard writers looking for a break that's a more valuable pursuit than like having like the best gingerbread house that looks so good with the realist gingerbread when i can slap a couple of graham crackers and some toothpaste out there and it's gonna pretty much look the same way
Starting point is 00:02:10 so you said you're ordering your house to do like what for example i want the lights to all change color when i come in the room i want them to go absolutely crazy and it's like freaking studio 54 up in this piece okay um i want a song to play whenever i leave the room that's like a sad song about like missing me and how they wish i was still there probably the like um puff daddy's talk about how how um biggie is his friend has has passed away yes um uh or maybe the one from the fast and furious movie about paul walker so like basically i come into the kitchen i'd like open up the fridge. I'd decide that I'm not actually hungry. I'd close the fridge. I'd walk out. It goes like...
Starting point is 00:03:06 And see you again. Yeah. By Wiz Khalifa. It's been a long road without you, my friend. Featuring Charlie Puth plays. And I'll see you again. And so that would happen all the time. Speaking of opening the fridge,
Starting point is 00:03:22 when I open the fridge, I want the fridge to say, Hi! Hi, Sean. uh speaking of opening the fridge when i open the fridge i want the fridge to say hi hi sean but you don't get as far as any of this because the house just says did you meet yeah well i'm i've spent the whole time setting up the name so i'm not getting into these menu options why i mean what does your smart home do? This guy. My smart home... Stupid home. Sorry? Stupid home, right?
Starting point is 00:03:52 No, my smart home is actually really smart. I was smart enough to give it a normal name, John. So I say, What's up, John? Can you help me get this plug into the wall? My hand hurts. And John's like, absolutely. And kind of sucks.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Starts sucking on the... It kind of just starts working. Starts sucking on the nodes. The nodes in there. And he says, don't mind me. It's really close now. Tell you what. Let me sort of... Let me shoot these wires out a little bit more.
Starting point is 00:04:43 The wall wires. Yeah, that's actually sick. That's really nice. I don't always want to go in the shower to get clean. Sometimes I just want to keep watching TV. So I'll be like, bring your bread. Shower time. over here bringer bread shower time and what i'm hoping is that because like you know i've got obviously the um sprinkler system set up around my indoors for what i'm cooking and i want and i
Starting point is 00:05:16 want the um oh there's my wife are we on cam for this nope yeah um and what i want uh is for it to just start scrubbing me and for something i and i don't care how they do it but some like basically like glove on a spring to shoot in off the wall with like a rag kind of scrub me around a little bit but it's you know i i'm not even getting there because it doesn't know what bringer bread is and mitra what does your house do and who are you hey um my house is analog um so yeah so my house is throwback retro i love it i dig that about you and also when they try to siphon your data and use your data on like how if your house is like hot or cold yeah to be like oh she likes it to be cold like when it's time to like torture mitra for her information, we will burn her.
Starting point is 00:06:26 We'll make it hot. Yep. They don't have any of that information. Okay, you can't have that information. You can't have it because I keep boundaries with my home. If my home were to ask me what I would want, I would lie. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:39 That's interesting. Yes, that's a strategy that I have been employing a little bit with Bringer Bread, who for now is not named that. Yeah. And how's it going?
Starting point is 00:06:52 I'm not a great liar. That's nice. Meaning like, yeah, I, you know, I practice radical honesty. Are you a bad actor or do you have a good heart? Okay. I don't think it's either. I think it's just coming up with the correct lie like i think i can sell what i'm saying if i could just think of something to say that wasn't true
Starting point is 00:07:13 so you're a bad improviser but you're a good actor i yes i think that i think my acting is actually fucking awesome yeah and people really want to see it but in terms of like the material that's generated i work much better with a script than like when um right now right now his name is binja bing but i will say he will say like what temperature would you like and i'll go like i can't tell him because he said like, I don't want to get tortured. And I'll say like soda. And, and then he'll say, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:07:52 I didn't get that. And I'll say like, Oh no, actually I'm going to the store and I'll leave. I won't come home all night. Cause I'm so embarrassed, you know? So I'll like, I'll sleep in the park or something
Starting point is 00:08:08 because I don't want my smart house to confront me about what I'm just hoping that enough time will pass that when I come back... Kill it. You should kill it. You have to kill your house. I know. Eventually, we all do, huh not why well my house can live my house is my i've got an analog house as long as you have as long as you live in an analog
Starting point is 00:08:35 space so you can live in an analog watch you can live in an analog purse you can live in an analog house whatever analog you choose as long as it can't ask you questions hey i tell you i wouldn't want to live in an annabelle house you see that doll she's fucking nuts dude she's out of control she's fucking grabbing people and hurting them i do not like annabelle i'm sorry i know like whatever that might not be popular, but I don't, I do not want that. Yeah. In my house. No.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Yeah. And we noticed that. And we noticed that how Chucky's getting a free pass and all this. Yeah. Are we noticing that? Yeah. Chucky's getting a free pass. Wow.
Starting point is 00:09:18 I wonder why. But Chucky, Chucky probably makes much more. Yeah. Oh, but Annabelle's crazy yeah chucky's just chucky's just you know he's gotta be tough he's assertive chucky's just like chucky's just direct he's a direct communicator but annabelle's
Starting point is 00:09:39 oh annabelle's shrill annabelle's shrill annabelle's obnox. Annabelle's shrill. Annabelle's obnoxious. Meanwhile, Chucky's hilarious. Annabelle's a whore, but Chucky's just sowing his oats. Yeah. He's got a raw sense of humor.
Starting point is 00:09:53 No, look, I'll take it on the chin. That's true. I had one other way I could go with it. I did go with Annabelle House. I also was,
Starting point is 00:10:02 and there's maybe nothing here, but Analog Cabin. Analog Cabin, sure. Yeah. What was that? with it i did go with annabelle house i also was and there's maybe nothing here but analog cabin analog cabin sure yeah what was that that's okay i got a little i think you chose the right one yeah because i didn't know what else to do after that yeah we had that amazing sort of tear about the other one the chucky thing you yeah you two got into that and i sort of jumped on maybe it was wrong choice for me to jump on because really i'm the target of it i should be like defending you know my my choice to say annabelle was crazy we could take it again matri who you didn't say who are you who are you this week this week um i'm returning guests
Starting point is 00:10:49 to hollywood handbook for the first time since 2020 2019 fan favorite fan favorite one of our most requested guests i believe that when i see it believe that when i believe that when i come on the pod again but you're here right now and i refresh now refresh my memory you've done the podcast before yeah yeah two yeah one to joel to promote our pilot podcast for earwolf that then became our podcast for earwolf um and then once solo uh to commemorate the time that uh haze and i did uh love it or leave it together that's right we were just so excited we just like we just had to i remember us walking out and being like are we just gonna like not talk about this yeah like we gotta talk about it leave this here we're not gonna continue the insane momentum
Starting point is 00:11:58 that we got from i know the the the base of that show loves me and wanted me back and told me they were nice to me you did a pro version to mitra i did do a pro version wow overstayed my welcome the scheduling on on love it or leave it is nuts i haven is nuts. I haven't been able to work it out with that crew over there. Getting me on there, which sucks. It sucks because it's mutual admiration society. We both want to get involved with one another. And it's timing know especially with the diseases oh it's covid yeah podcasting has become impossible so much more difficult to schedule
Starting point is 00:12:53 it's become really just a nightmare uh but i would do i would probably go on there and um but I would do I would probably go on there and maybe not do as well as you Mitra but I think I could bring something they hadn't seen before I think you'd kill you think so well I guess we'll find out what would it be like yeah what what kind
Starting point is 00:13:17 of stuff are they doing well you could talk about like today's news and then you know perfect quips about that perfect about like today's news and then, you know. Perfect. Quips about that. Perfect for me. Today's news. Yes. Live in the moment, right?
Starting point is 00:13:32 Yes. Never look back. And then you could talk about sort of something more specific about that week's news. Getting into the granular, right? Yeah. And then probably some sort of interview or like sketch with a celebrity figure or politician.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Yeah. Yeah, we wish. Think Adam Schiff. And then a game probably. Or two. Sweet. How do you think you would no more than no more than seven games how do i think i want maybe two no more than like seven eight ten games i think i could do well at the games, at least eight of the 10 games. My hand is hurting me, so that would be a problem.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Oh, carpal tunnel? Cubal tunnel. No. Close. Cubal? Cubal tunnel. Are you saying cue ball? Cubal tunnel are you saying cubal cubal tunnel yeah it's it's pool player fatigue yeah okay cubal tunnel yeah i got a fucking sledgehammer of a break i send them things this is the recoil caroming off one another yeah it's it's nasty recoil
Starting point is 00:15:10 by people put in earplugs when they see me walk into the pool hall man yeah it's gonna be loud it might get really very quite loud and so you know uh obviously i get it i get into these big break contests and uh ultimately it's just it was too much on my damn hand and i got cubal tunnel it's brutal it's not good but who are you what are you doing well i'm in an i'm in a pretty much empty room um i guess you didn't ask where, but the room's empty, but I've lived here for almost a year. Breakfast table in an otherwise empty room. Violin.
Starting point is 00:15:54 You remember that song? No. The shades go down. It's really good. Check out homework for today. Check out Pearl Jam. The song is called Daughter. The room they describe at the outset of the song is very similar to the room. The whole situation is a lot like what's going on here.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Or podcasters. If they wrote that song today, she would be a podcaster. Do you identify as a podcaster first? Yes, that's what's on my license. Do you not know daughter song? I don't know daughter song. I've not heard daughter song. It's good.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Which is crazy. I think of myself as something of a music kid. It goes like this. Don't call me daughter. I told you. You know that my name is Eddie. Don't call me daughter. My name's Eddie. I'll write that down to remind you
Starting point is 00:17:07 what about an epic mashup of that and john mayer daughter ever think daughters daughters couldn't mash it up you could i know you could all right you sing your you put the s in parentheses you sing yours and i'll sing mine okay don't go fathers Girls become mothers Singers Guy from Pearl Jam And you just got his name wrong To your daughters Guitar They're like violins
Starting point is 00:17:53 But you play them a little different You use your hands I'm in a band It's called Pearl Jam Girls become mothers That's pretty good I mean, proof's in the pudding That works I'm in a band. It's called Pearl Jam. Girls become mothers. That's pretty good. I mean, proof's in the pudding.
Starting point is 00:18:09 That works. In that song, he says, you see that skin? What song? In Daughter, he says that. John Mayer? Yeah. In Daughters? You see that skin? Yes. that's a line from that song you showed daddy your skin
Starting point is 00:18:30 so cool mitra kevin can we lie down for this one is that allowed hell yeah let's do it just lie down man every every gifted and talented kid from school is lying down right now Every gifted and talented kid from school is lying down right now. If you're in gifted and talented class. Now, when I was growing up, it was called talented and gifted. And they just called it tag. Are you a tag kid? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Yeah, I can tell. I knew it. Odyssey of the mind the mind you're tired right now oh yeah all of us that are that do hollywood handbook our podcast my podcast or gifted and talented i still call it tag tired and gutted good right just gutted to look at the news of the day i could hardly do love it or leave it. When I see some of these headlines, I go, how am I going to love this or leave it? No, that's the best time to do it.
Starting point is 00:19:30 That's when we need it. The catharsis. Yeah. Mitra, you're wearing your famous overalls, your dickies that you'd never go anywhere without. Yeah, my staple. Thank you for noticing. I'm not feeling uncomfortable talking about
Starting point is 00:19:43 what the woman wears on the podcast. Thank you. Thank you. noticing. I'm not feeling uncomfortable talking about what the woman wears on the podcast. Thank you. Thank you. Lil Dickies. Excuse me. Your Daves, your Lil Dickies. My Lil Dickies, my Daves. Your Dave Bird.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Yeah. Back again. And just to point out, we've only done that for you. Never done it for any other guest male or female good i want there to be things about my experience that are unique yeah and you're wearing your famous black shirt black shirt uh for i'll say it spills for can we at long last just confess yeah we spill yeah i'm spilling when i drink it doesn't all get in my mouth yes adult men spill their drink would they try to have a yes yes okay yes yes i'm not gonna live in this shame anymore just because things basically about a third of whatever i put on my spoon actually makes it to my mouth
Starting point is 00:20:56 and the rest of it is on my shirt that's just that's me you can deal with it put my sunglasses on like the little doggy i love when guys can open up do you ever spill yeah spill yeah yeah what's one time that you made a big mess big spill mess so messy i'm talking you grab the paper towels and you go you know what i think i need a real towel big mess i'll tell you what i need a fucking beach towel i'll tell you one time i made a big mess one time my dad and i post my dad and my mom getting divorced took my i've never talked about this took my mom's dog for a walk and while we were on the walk the dog broke its leg that's when we made a big mess what it was really upsetting the dog's okay now yeah but that was a big mess
Starting point is 00:21:51 you made such a big mess the dog broke its no no the dog the mess is the broken leg we didn't we just took the dog out for us on like a little walk and then the dog broke its leg and that was a big mess why'd he do that i don't know for attention prob it was do you think he was a gifted and talented school yeah the gifted and talented kid if you were a gifted talented kid at school you're you broke your leg on the walk have you ever taken your mom's dog out for a walk with your dad after your mom and your dad get divorced, and then the dog breaks its leg while you're out on the walk in the middle of the woods, but then you're really far into the hike
Starting point is 00:22:32 and you have to carry it back, and it's a really dark, silent walk even though you're having a lot of fun? Yeah, then you might have been in the gifted and talented program. Was this close enough to it that you were probably talking about how they got divorced or not? Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-frozen meal is chef-crafted, dietitian-approved, ready-to-go in just two minutes.
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Starting point is 00:25:38 so can babble teach me body language? Yes. Babbel now has visual in-person lessons. Part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages, handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. Babbel is designed by real people for real conversations, and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their whole finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something. They're trying to pull down the spider web. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:28 But I've seen this too after a lot of dates. And I need and have needed something like Babel to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger? Because it looks like an emergency. I know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively
Starting point is 00:27:06 like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it out the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners i. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real-life situations, which I have all the time, and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others. Can't feel good to be others there. Continued to prove Babbel is better. One study found that using babble for
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Starting point is 00:28:35 Hey, guys. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills. You can see all your subscriptions in one place, and if I see something I don't want, I can cancel it it with a tap i never have to get on the phone with customer service the subscriptions are insidious they're the scourge of our modern life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged i know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll
Starting point is 00:29:15 this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think oh that one's got an end point by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear. Like these aren't the dresses. Oh no. They were not from the movie. They didn't resemble anything from the movie. They were not, they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear. And one of them was a dressing.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Yeah. One of them was a, was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was i mean just to be fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood
Starting point is 00:30:25 memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash the boys. That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Not really. No, this was years later. Okay. So that had nothing to do with.
Starting point is 00:30:55 No, I think it was just interesting that like he was there, even though it's not his dog and they were divorced and you know. Whose dog is it? My mom's. Oh, wow. Yeah, we felt really felt really bad yeah women can have dogs Hayes it's like one of those puzzles right with the doctor whose dog was it the doctor said I can't operate on this dog this is not your dad's dog your parents are divorced and who's driving the car whose was the dog
Starting point is 00:31:25 um yeah that was a big mess what's the dog's name gizmo okay no reaction well great straightest faces not even a blink short for gizmodo no i wish short for vox more like it also another time i um was getting cookies off a spatula and they were stuck off of a off of a cookie sheet cookie sheet yes they were so i used i was using a metal spatula and i shoved the spatula under the cookie so hard that i sliced open my thumb um and i had to get stitches all down my thumb ew you probably can't see it well yeah you won't be able to see the scar no we can see it that's let's just grab a beach towel imagine sorry i do want to get to the messy thumb but imagine like being at someone's house for dinner and like their dog is like chewing something or something and they're like vox short for vox lux portman vox media
Starting point is 00:32:32 dude stop slate their slate vulture gawker okay so your thumb was fully messed up yeah with a spatula i wasn't really listening it you cut it with the spatula cut her thumb i listen i listen so you don't have to the story was all over the place she's she's lying it's true she said she was taking the cookies off the spatula then all of a sudden there was this cookie sheet that had like been nowhere to be seen earlier now that's what the story's about then it's like i shoved the spatula so hard it cut my finger but it's like what was providing the resistance like none of it what was providing the resistance like none of it the story changed so many times that i think we can just move on yeah the first story wasn't really about a mess
Starting point is 00:33:31 and so that's why i can i can see why she would be like okay well now now i have to make up a mess yes that was this was messier this was messier for sure. But it's like, I guess when we said mess, and I fault us, the assignment wasn't clear. We wanted to hear about a messy mess and not necessarily just like, hey, is there anywhere you think you could score some pity points? Some internet pity points? Well, everyone in both of those stories healed.
Starting point is 00:34:07 So there's nothing really to pity. But the trauma remains, does it not? Yeah. That's true. You don't think when your dog hikes. No one ever really heals from anything that ever happens. No. It's all the same as it was at the beginning nothing ever gets better fresh trauma
Starting point is 00:34:28 there's just so many layers of it that some of it gets pushed down further and it's not as impactful because you're just now you're dealing with whatever just happened to you yeah for me it's this podcast this now has made me feel less bad about when I was embarrassed in front of my smart home. Kevin, do you want to talk about your big mess? Sure. I flew back from Washington, D.C. on Monday. And plane ride rides going OK. No complaints over here.
Starting point is 00:35:07 I just order one orange juice with ice. All of a sudden I'm falling asleep and like kind of shake a little bit. I think I was having that dream where I like a car is coming toward me and I like wake up right before it hits me and i knocked it all over myself gets all over my navy blue pants and it it turns bright white looks like lotion all over my legs and then i have to sit in it for the whole flight and then i walk to the i go i'm at la you also had a lot of lotion on your legs is that oh yeah but that was i guess i blended in a little bit but when i was walking out then at the airport it was like way more white stuff on my pants like then you would normally have leaving a plane kevin if you had i just want to say plane. Kevin, if you had...
Starting point is 00:36:05 I just want to say this. If you had... If you're on a plane, the plane is shaking around and all this stuff, and you're falling asleep, and you had an exciting dream on the plane. You can just say that. I guess I would ask that we got that version of the
Starting point is 00:36:25 story rather than the version that you came up with a month later to say to say to people about what happened on the plane again we weren't there so we don't need to know any version of it never ever ever be there it goes without saying that i wasn't there. So I wouldn't ever ask you any questions about this. You don't need a cover. But if you want to tell the story, I think I would prefer to just hear the real story. Minus, obviously, some of the details of what was happening in the dream.
Starting point is 00:36:57 I was on the plane. You were just in orange juice for the whole plane? The flight attendant goes down the rows. Just orange juice for the whole plane. The flight attendant goes down the rows. Just orange juice for me with ice. I take a big sippy. Sugar spikes my ass.
Starting point is 00:37:15 And then what comes up must go down. I fall asleep hard. I don't even make it to the second sip. Wow. And then that dream starts again. Sweet. I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming.
Starting point is 00:37:30 The beautiful lady sitting on the car. Hey, Buster. I wake up creamed. And so the... Yeah. She became Buster. Yeah, you were. She was correct. At Buster, I were she was at buster at bust i woke up mitra i'm sorry for mentioning your overalls before thank you yeah do you want to talk about
Starting point is 00:38:01 the painting behind no you want to bring it over you don't want to talk about that i'll bring the painting mitra please bring it over okay hold on i love to study uh oh my god oh my god big trips He almost completely fell over and died. This is their first time getting out of a chair. Guys, Mitra died. What would we do if we're recording a podcast and Mitra just disappears below frame and we have no other information?
Starting point is 00:38:42 We'd definitely have to call 911. But we don't know where Mitra lives. So what will we do or say? Say the most beautiful girl in the world got hurt. Because Witt is recording a podcast too, so I don't want to bother him. No, absolutely not. I know that he's in the same house,
Starting point is 00:39:00 but I also know that you don't want to get a phone call during your podcast. No. And also, like, if he gets it and I don't want him to like put me on the podcast. I don't, I actually don't like when people do that. Pull people into the podcast. When like I,
Starting point is 00:39:18 if I get a call from someone who's like, and I'm like, oh, they're probably doing a podcast and they want some of this, like some of what'm like, oh, they're probably doing a podcast and they want some of this like some of what I have to offer, but they're not going to tell me that I'm on the podcast. It'd be sprinkle magic dust on the
Starting point is 00:39:31 podcast. Yeah, I actually don't like that. So I probably wouldn't call wet. I would call the police and say you're saying that I should say the most. So the most beautiful girl in the world just fell down yeah hello police an angel is missing
Starting point is 00:39:52 and and would you say anything about the painting yeah well i'd go through i'd have to explain like how we got to the painting stuff. Even though it would make you a little bit culpable because you ask to get the painting. So you accept responsibility. Yeah. And I'd have to make something up about like, I would definitely not say to the police that I mentioned the guest's clothing before. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:24 The police would be like, like okay do you have a description of what she's wearing and i go no i've actually never described what she's wearing how's it come up and i guess we would have to wait on the podcast for the police to come and i guess we'd have to vamp, we would have to spend all that time. We can't release an episode that's just us silently waiting for the police to show up. I'd have to talk about a second messy experience. No!
Starting point is 00:40:56 Please don't. Please. Not to be rude, but please don't. The first one was enough. I wouldn't. The first one was so... Hypothetical. So crass.
Starting point is 00:41:04 I hate that shit. Where'd the painting go? It's over here. Can we see it? Why'd you put it all the way over there? I can't see it at all. Yeah, here it is. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:21 I really can't see it. What is there to miss? It's right here. It's not really in the frame and the light is so bad the light's behind it now it's too close now it's too close do you just ask a lot of your guests to hold up something heavy while the podcast is happening my god not again i'm so sorry i can't believe i have to figure out something to tell the police instead of that too
Starting point is 00:41:47 I didn't know it was that heavy first of all it was really far away so it actually looked really small I'd say when our guest is in the traditional uniform of the working class yes we may ask them to do some kind of manual task all right that's fair i'm humbled thanks boys
Starting point is 00:42:11 kevin hey gang are they still on are you guys still on your wolf show me yeah yeah yeah what's up over there how's it been has anybody been asking about us yeah yeah it actually takes us a few hours to do the podcast every time because we have to have a meeting with so many people at your wolf because they're just trying to get us to get you guys back oh yeah it's boring it sucks otherwise over there now oh god it's a lot of like strategizing for how to get you guys back and then you know talking about like other shows that have a lot more listeners than us and then eventually we get around to record the podcast wow oh my god that sucks yeah i heard it sucks ever since because of that
Starting point is 00:42:55 yeah i just miss seeing you guys in the halls finding out what's going on with you guys yeah well my locker was right across from yours which actually was pretty cool like so in between periods it was always like oh well this will be nice uh you know meetrick and remind me what my combination is yeah and i miss those days and it's pretty pretty lonely pretty quiet in the hallways which you know and not not saying that to kind of guilt you guys, but it is just, it's dark. The space is dark and not fun. It's the reality. And really sad.
Starting point is 00:43:30 And that's just my life. That is my reality. That sucks. I couldn't feel more alone. Joel is mean to me. Joel sucks. Joel's mean to me. So, yeah, Joel's mean to me.
Starting point is 00:43:42 In an empty room. Yeah. So, it's just us, sort sort of we're the only ones left at earwolf wow and there's uh i don't know if you heard there's no other shows it's just urgent care and it's a lot of pressure to pay everybody to keep the whole brand alive yeah joel kim booster is joel kim buser user. Apostrophe B-U-S-E-R. I'll tell you what, he's Joel Kim Busy. We have no time
Starting point is 00:44:10 to record the podcast in September. Boosie. Yeah, he's Boosie. He's Joel Kim Boosie. He's Joel Kim Boosie. Kevin is actually Joel Kim Buster as well. According to the plane story. So there's a lot of Joel Kevin Buster as well. According to the plane story.
Starting point is 00:44:26 So there's a lot of Joel Kevin Buster. Now, is it? Joel Kevin Buster. Is it true that basically Conan has just like been walking into more and more offices and studios and going like, I'll take this. You guys are just sort of like relegated to this this tiny little back bathroom that he doesn't know is there yet and you all have to have your meetings in there do all the recording yeah he took the spare set of keys to my mazda oh no i know so if yeah so if the mazda keys that you have stopped working, Conan owns it.
Starting point is 00:45:05 Mitra, you have to do the new Parks and Recreation podcast presented by Crono Bryant. You have to do it, Mitra. You have to Parks and Recollection. It's important. You must. And the Seth Rogen podcast. Yes.
Starting point is 00:45:21 You have to do the Seth Rogen podcast. You've got to get on Seth Rogen. You've got to get on Seth Rogen. You've got to get on Parks and Recollection. Mouse rat bassist Alan Yang. Walk through the memories of Pawnee. Yeah, I'll talk about Mona Lisa. All her stuff she said. Just thinking of names from there.
Starting point is 00:45:47 You gotta. That's perfect. to that's what you have to at that show you have to think of their have to think of the names oh god remember mona lisa that's what i'll say oh remember mona lisa do you remember that do you remember oh i remember where i was she was so weird oh and you're not seeing weird stuff like that anymore when you turn on the tv you're seeing stuff like um nine perfect strangers um which i am up to date tell me about each of the nine perfect strangers yeah yeah okay number one is bobby cannavale's character he is a retired football player whose career was cut short due to an injury, and now he is very depressed.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Melissa McCarthy plays an author whose career is going down the toilet. Michael Shannon and then two other women play a father and mother and daughter family. His name is Napoleon, and their last name is the Marconis, and they are reeling from the loss of the son who was the twin to the daughter then we have samara weaving hugo weaving's niece uh and she's wearing crazy wow and i know tell me about it and she looks exactly like margot
Starting point is 00:46:56 robbie but not in this because they may put a bunch of fake tanner on her and she is married to a different guy i can't remember his name. And they are a couple who won the lottery and now they don't love each other anymore. And then you have I don't remember how many names I said. Oh, yeah. Then there's another guy who's like a journalist. And then there's another woman who has been cheated on her and now she feels really bad about herself. And then there's Nicole Kidman and she's Russian, but no reason why she just is being Russian. And then there's Nicole Kidman, and she's Russian, but no reason why. She just is being Russian. And then there's Manny Jacinto from Good Place, and he works there.
Starting point is 00:47:29 And then there's another woman who works there. And yeah, that's pretty much the whole cast. Wow. The healing starts with the wound. The healing starts with the wound. Yeah, the healing starts with the wound. They're still working through it. Now, you said that they work there.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Yeah. There was no place. Oh, you want to know the name of the place tranquillum they're all in one place called tranquillum which is where you go to heal it's called tranquillum oh yeah and that's a place that nicole kidman uh character who's r, runs. And everybody's depressed. Everybody's doing drugs. Sorry, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Only murders in the building. Go.
Starting point is 00:48:16 So I haven't seen that show. From what I can gather, that is a show about Selena Gomez, Martin Short, and Steve Martin. And they are in a building where there are murders. And that's the only thing that happens in that building. So every day another murder. They're trying to solve the murders. And you know there's going to be some laughs.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Wrong. Wrong. That's not what's happening. They're three friends. Yes, they live in a building. Yes, there's murders in the building. That's not the only thing that happens in the building. But, there's murders in the building. That's not the only thing that happens in the building.
Starting point is 00:48:45 But they have a true crime podcast, and it only covers murders that took place in that building. Is that real? Yes. Really? They start a podcast together. And that is what's going on. So it's not that there's only murders in the building. It's that it's only murders in the building.
Starting point is 00:49:08 It's that it's only murders in the building. Only murders in the podcast is what it should be called then. No. Only. No, no, no. People are all saying it wrong. Everyone is saying only. Well, I guess they're kind of saying it right uh no i only murder saying it wrong they're saying only murder
Starting point is 00:49:34 they're saying only murders of the building but it should be only murders in the building so he only murders in the building. Yeah, that's better. The building. I mean, because basically they all live in New York City. They all live in New York City. The building's a huge character. It's called the Iconia or something. It's a very big building.
Starting point is 00:50:03 And they live in New York City which is a city that forces you to binge Dateline so you can figure out how not to end up on Dateline and would you say it's Lynchian the show itself or the city
Starting point is 00:50:18 the city's Jane Lynchian the performance is everything. It's tough, but you gotta laugh. It's Jane Lynch meme and she's saying, I'm going to make a show that is so funny. I'm going to make a mascot that is so random. That is so Netflix. Jane.
Starting point is 00:50:49 I saw her. Was it? Wait, was it? We saw her together. At the Weird Al show. At the Weird Al show. Yeah. I saw Topher Grace a couple of weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:51:02 Okay. Where? Seen Topher. Yep. Restaurant. Where? A table away. What restaurant? Al Aqua in Atwater.
Starting point is 00:51:12 So that's the restaurant that only serves water, is this right? Atwater? Atwater? Now I've seen everything. So it's a whole restaurant, but you can only get water. What's it cost a billion bucks
Starting point is 00:51:26 basically yeah and yeah toffer grace was their table away and i basically couldn't focus on anything else it was my uh first uh it was my first restaurant dining experience in months and toffer grace was there and I short-circuited Topher yeah I guess uh maybe enough time has passed to say that one of my first LA experiences was just on a walk with an actor who had asked me to meet him for lunch and then he got a phone call and said sorry I have to take this and then went hey Topher what's up like had a really
Starting point is 00:52:14 loud phone call and then ended up like that's Topher Grace no I only had one guess so that just happened that's huge we saw we saw jane lynch at the weird al show right saw jane lynch at weird there was a bit of an issue or something a bit of an issue with her We saw Jane Lynch at the Weird Al show, right? Saw Jane Lynch at Weird Al. There was a bit of an issue with her ticket, it seemed like.
Starting point is 00:52:51 Yeah, something was wrong with her ticket or there weren't enough tickets, maybe. Yes, yes. And they were working on resolving it, but maybe not as fast as we would have liked. Yeah, that's right. Not VIP enough. maybe not as fast as we would have liked yeah that's right vip enough i you know i'm sure some wires got am i right she had maybe brought her son and they didn't know that it was going
Starting point is 00:53:15 to be a party of two and they were like well miss you're very famous your son is not yeah so we are going to get the second ticket a little slower your son is one of the least famous people ever shots fired Jane Lynch's son is famous person ever dot com he's typing right now
Starting point is 00:53:39 his own face came up slammed the computer closed oh sorry I'm getting a phone call Topher Topher Kevin did you see anyone famous recently? my grandpa was
Starting point is 00:54:01 Jane Lynch's principal he was Jane Lynch's principal and i she did in high school and uh she did uh comedy bang bang and then when she left i said hey my grandpa was actually your principal and she said what's his name i said his name and she went that wasn't it and then left and uh so my she remembered the principal's name yeah wow and it wasn't your grandpa your grandpa lied and then i stood there stunned she's like you know i trust her she spent so much time at that high school she worked there for a long time that might be why but then my grandma sent me a long letter with like yearbook photos of Jane Lynch and stuff
Starting point is 00:54:46 to prove that it was true. But that stuff was true. And you had to go back to her. You should have given that stuff to us so then when she's waiting for tickets at the Weird Al show. Slide that in. Well, maybe send it far and wide so everyone has it at the ready.
Starting point is 00:55:01 And then if anyone runs into Jane Lynch, they can be like, you were wrong years ago Kevin's going to Scott and being like Jane Lynch was so funny you should have her back like next week really soon he's holding
Starting point is 00:55:18 a huge book look at all these emails from my friends saying how funny she was they want her back ASAP. Kevin, these emails are all from you to yourself. Come on, Kevin. I'm sorry that happened to you, Kevin. Thanks, Mitra.
Starting point is 00:55:36 It was probably the biggest spill, second biggest spill of my life. That's the story I wanted to say. So that's also not really like a spill. Is anyone going to hold Kevin accountable? I'm kind of the Chucky of this story. Kevin's getting away with it again. He's getting paid huge
Starting point is 00:55:56 dollars to behave like this. Mitra, where can we find you? You can watch the first season of three busy devras on adult swim b-i-z-z-y yeah yeah it's modern okay and i'm watching it and what's happening and then what do i do yeah after you watch it well what's happening back up what's happening? And then what do I do? Yeah. After you watch it? Mm-hmm. Well, what's happening?
Starting point is 00:56:27 Back up. What's happening when I watch it? You're sitting down, probably with a loved one at some point. Not me. I'm crouching. I can't sit down yet because of my back. Oh, well, you're sitting. I have to crouch while I watch TV.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Okay. Well, you're crouching. I've got this diagonal hammock. That's cool. Yeah, so I can kind of lean into that. Okay, so one crouch and one lean. So you're probably watching on two different screens, hopefully,
Starting point is 00:56:57 in different rooms because of the height differences. My computer's over for the day. Okay, so you can watch on your phone. No, but's, my computer's over for the day. Okay. So you can watch on your phone. No, but I'm just right now.
Starting point is 00:57:08 My computer's over. Oh, bye. Okay. Bye. Great seeing you. This week on the Patreon, Carl and Hassan play.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Would you rather Dominic Dierkes joins bang and shonk on Hollywood masterclass and the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Check out these bonus podcasts and videos of the full episodes at patreon.com slash theflagrantones. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.

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