Hollywood Handbook - Neil Casey, Our Close Friend
Episode Date: May 4, 2015Sean and Hayes have to catch up on a backlog of ads this week, so they subtly add them in throughout this week's chat with the very funny TV writer Neil Casey of Outer Space. Neil opens up to... the boys about Paul Feig, The Joker, SNL memories, working at Amy Schumer, his upcoming work, and his best celebrity encounter.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a Head. Project work is normal in entertainment,
but if you want to buy a house,
that could prevent you from getting a traditional bank mortgage.
Luckily, there's a lender that understands the industry.
Privlo built a company around lending the right way
to self-employed, freelancers, independent contractors,
and business owners.
Even if you have a one-time credit blemish.
Hey, it's show business.
Who doesn't?
That's Privlo, as in private loan.
To apply, go to privlo.com slash podcast and
fill out a simple online form it'll take two minutes and just might get you that hey dudes
what's going on hey it's me verbatim verbatim vick hey hey i was just next door helping out
andrew t and susan orlean from cry babies with some stuff hi what are you doing uh we're just
doing the show um if you want your bits, this is just one of our funny bits.
Oh, it's funny.
I was standing outside.
It sounded like you were doing...
No, this is a bit.
Ad copy.
Nope.
It's a bit for the show.
It's kind of a funny...
That sounds like funny shit, man.
Yes, it's very funny.
Just as long as you're not f***ing me in the ass.
No, no, we're not.
This is a funny bit, but we don't want to say that kind of thing in this comedy bit that we're doing.
So if you want to just wait outside while we finish.
Sean, you want to escort him outside?
Hey, Vic, why don't we go outside?
Let's toss the frisbee around while he finishes up the comedy bit.
Hey, Andrew, wait up.
Me and Vic are.
Okay.
Let me just finish this up.
Sorry.
Privilege.com slash podcast.
Fill out a simple online form.
It'll take two minutes and just might get you that crib in the hills.
That's Privilege.com slash podcast.
Ow, my head.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
What's on that thing?
It's...
That really is a heavy Frisbee.
Frisbee.
Heavy Frisbee!
So I turned to Anthony Mackie, and I go,
Well, I know you play Archangel, but can you name all the angels?
Because he's always bragging about his encyclopedic memory and his photographic mind.
And he goes, Sure, yeah, I can can and he starts naming the angels from the bible oh but i met the victoria's secret angels oh that's interesting because i love babes
and i love them in their undies maybe like the baseball angels uh it's just another kind that's
maybe what you know i'm a sports head that's kind of the direction i would have gone in if he had
done that i would have accepted it if he had done that i would have said that's maybe what you know i'm a sports head that's kind of the direction i would have gone in if he had done that i would have accepted it if he had done that i would have
said that's acceptable but i would have rather that he named a girl that i've seen in her underwear
that's so fucking sexy hey welcome to hollywood handbook it's that it's got the key button
dropping names in the red carpet linebacker always in this industry we call showbiz
sort of we have a lot of business to take care of today.
We have a great guest coming in in a little bit.
Neil Casey is here from outer space.
You may have noticed for a long time of the show we didn't have any ads
or the ads that we did have were a fucking joke for shit like other Earwolf shows.
Yeah.
And we thought this is weird because our show's the
best well what turns out there's an email issue which my little cousin sam uh had given me the
incorrect login uh and so we had missed an entire backlog of about a year's worth of ads for the
show people were trying to email using the at symbol on the keyboard,
but you have to do the lowercase a and a zero on top of each other.
That's not an at symbol.
And if you hit at and then AO, you're going to wind up tweeting AO Scott,
which we did do a few times.
Now, what we have now is a problem where we did spend all the ad money, of course.
Uh,
and that is why when you see Hayes,
he is in raw denim jeans,
raw denim,
everything,
the best.
And it breaks in and it's the comfiest.
It's stiff at first,
but it,
the fit is unparalleled once you break it in and it wicks the sweat away.
You worry about heat and stuff,
but it absorbs the sweat.
At any rate, he's wearing only that,
and his car is even covered in that.
And so he did spend the money,
and I don't begrudge him that,
but now we have to record the ads,
and we have to put them on this episode.
So we have a lot of backed-up ads to do.
They're going to sort of be popping in
in an inconspicuous way
while we talk to Neil Casey. We have some that we just want to do. They're going to sort of be popping in in an inconspicuous way while we talk to Neil
Casey. We have some that we just want to do now. So our intro segment this week is just going to be
catching up, catching up on ads. So we'll do a couple ads here and then throughout the episode,
it won't be distracting, but we will be popping in every now and then with an ad.
So just bear with us. We want to talk about Loot Crate. If you consider yourself a geek, gamer, or pop
culture nerd, then this is the subscription box. For nerds, weirdos, dorkos, losers, and dweebies,
and freaks. And for less than $20 a month, you get six to eight items of gamer and pop culture
stuff like vinyl figurines, comic shirts, and more. If you go to lootcrate.com slash handbook
and enter the code handbook,
you'll save 10% off on any new subscription.
And we should figure out a way to make this funny.
It's part of our intro segment,
so it should be a funny...
Okay, well, what do they say on there?
They got comic shirts?
Okay, so what if it's a shirt with Gabriel Iglesias on it?
What about this?
Okay.
I like that.
Okay.
What if the real X-Men showed up in the box?
Oh, right.
You get the box to your house, and it's like the claws of the wolf man are just popping out of the box. And like just like popping out of the box and like whoa like and he says
what's who sent for me buddy yes he's doing his whole ad he's chomping on uh like a clove cigarette
he goes i'm not good at what i do but you but i you better like it, buddy. And he's chomping on his cigarette.
Yeah.
That's good, I think.
That's fucking good.
What else?
There is no X-Men stuff in this box, but it's...
Oh, the visor guy.
Yes.
He blasted a bazooka out of his head.
And so each month the box is curated around a specific theme and may's theme is unite uh which
is i guess it's groups of people and in may's box you'll find cool stuff from marvel's avengers
that's a group power rangers they are also united rick and morty are united team fortress is a group
it's an obvious the states of america are united It's an obvious theme. There's a lot of state stuff in there.
Coins, state coins, I think.
Yes, because they're united now.
And we don't want to say whether or not that was a good idea.
Not our place.
But all the stuff in this box is post-Civil War.
Or War of Northern Aggression.
You've got until the 19th may 19th
to get the box so go to lootcrate.com slash handbook 10 off use promo code handbook lootcrate.com
slash handbook promo code handbook okay we'll move on to this other one and then we'll get
into the interview and then the interview great we also want to talk to you about privlo uh we as entertainment people work on a lot of freelance projects yes uh you
have a lot of stuff going on that would look weird on a loan application when you say like it's your
job yes i mean of course yeah when they on the loan application you have to list any projects
that you're involved in so for me to say like well i I did this sick-ass frigging diorama just recently.
I'm adapting Catcher in the Rye into a movie.
Now the Salinger finally kicked the bucket, and I'm so stoked on it.
So we did a sick diorama of when he's watching the merry-go-round.
Yes, and it actually does.
There's a popsicle stick underneath that does actually turn around.
Can spin it.
And so it is a movie.
But you put Catcher in the Rye, Diorama, on your load application as your job.
They don't necessarily want to give you a house.
Yes, but Privlo, I think, will give you a house if you do that.
It says, Privlo is a lender that understands the
entertainment industry and the way our finances work like you were not compensated for that
no because i was working with a bunch of phonies and it's and that's inspired by what in privlos
are not phony so it's kind of unique the unique situation um that is exactly the kind of thing
they are looking to give you money for.
And if they're acting, if they're lying to me and acting, then they're as good as the Luntz.
And if you remember, that's the actors he went to see.
So if you have self-employed freelancers, independent contractors, and business owners,
even if you have a one-time credit blemish, that's okay.
The shoes that you bought for the shoe box
turned out to be very expensive.
Yes, I was.
They were Bruno Maglia fine leather shoes
from the finest shoe area in town.
And I maybe overpaid because they were not in my size
and I couldn't wear them and no one I knew could
wear them. And so I wound up, that's a sunk cost for me because the box was just so perfect.
And I did wind up ruining the box and needing to get a new one.
So check them out at privlo.com slash podcast. That's privlo as in private loan.
We do have some verbatim stuff that we want to read. I just want to get this done really quickly
before anything happens.
Now, an amazing demonstration of compliance.
That means Privlo's on the up and up.
Some words from the government.
Privlo Inc. is a licensed equal housing mortgage lender.
NMLS ID 1076413.
I can hear him coming.
Go, go, go.
Just get it really fast.
1076413, licensed by the Department of Business Oversight under the California Regulation.
There's a mortgage act.
Ice for my head. What's up? vick hey uh sorry about your head yeah bad throw you might want to put
that looks like toilet paper that you've got it kind of wrapped up and you might want to get some
real yeah hey am i do i look like a mummy uh if we're just verbim, Vic, please don't be spooky.
We're just doing another comedy bit really fast.
If you just want, will you talk to him?
Mind if I sit in?
Yeah, you can.
Yeah, you can do like a funny bit based on this joke stuff I'm reading right here.
Vic, go long.
Ow, jeez, ow, my neck.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
You hit me a little duck with the first man!
NMLS ID 1076413
License of the Department of Business of your site under the California
Residential Mortgage Lending Act.
Illinois Residential Mortgage License C.
Washington CL 1076413
Texas License 107679
Okay.
Vic, let's get you.
We're going to be right back with Neil Casey.
We're going to do the interview.
There might be some more ads in there.
I'm not exactly sure.
Brett's going to take care of it.
Yes, you like the show.
Yes, for about their space, yeah.
Yeah, you watch the show.
You're a fan.
Huh?
I got to breathe.
So Neil Casey is going to be on in a second
and maybe some other ads as well if you'll just bear with us on Hollywood Handbook.
So I'm waiting.
Is that the valet with the pen?
Joette and he's doing a little trick.
He does a trick where he turns a pencil so it has like two erasers.
So it's like both sides are erasers.
Both sides, yeah.
And great tricks.
So good.
But after a while, it's like, where's your car?
Do you think there's something wrong with your car?
Like nobody's bringing your car.
And he was like, yeah, this is odd.
Let me ask.
And he goes to the guy and he's like, where's my car?
They go back and forth for a little while he turned it turns out he had seen this process and thought that if you waited
outside under this umbrella you would be brought a car okay but he had never he had not dropped one
off and not hadn't exchanged a ticket or anything but but he had seen- And he didn't even own one.
People, no, no, no.
But he had seen people, he's a walking guy.
So Penn's going, I'm thinking about getting a car.
Let me go to the umbrella where they give me that.
He's going to stand under this umbrella where people bring you a car.
And he's doing now, you know, he's like a skeptic, like a professional.
He calls out bullshit and stuff.
So now he is going to call BS.
Yes, on valets.
Yes, on this magic umbrella that does not work.
Oh, yes.
Oh, the magic umbrella.
Well, it only works for some people.
And he thinks that's bullshit.
Oh, well, I'm looking forward to that episode and hearing what Teller has to say about it.
And so, and not much, I bet.
And we have a guest here.
Hey, welcome to Hollywood.
Hey, welcome to Hollywood.
Insiders, guys, kicking butt, dropping names on the red carpet, linebacker, call us in this industry we call showbiz.
Insiders, guys, kicking butt, dropping names on the red carpet, linebacker, call us in this industry we call showbiz.
What up, what up?
Neil Casey is here.
Hi.
Neil Casey.
Hi, Neil.
You haven't done the show before.
Yes, you haven't done the show before, but we would love to have had you do it.
Yes.
We've wanted to have you for a while, but now it seems like things have just kind of come to a head with you,
with credits and all these things going on.
Big time stuff yeah so um in terms of just
all the cool shit you're doing what's like the most legendary like fucking thing you got into
lately and how did you just own the situation well uh i'm here to talk about uh other space
hey guys want to talk to you about other space. Hey, guys.
I want to talk to you about a great company that's sponsoring our show.
This is Hayes from Hollywood Handbook.
You ever look at an Ann Getty's baby calendar and wish you could be in those pictures yourself,
dressed up as like a flower or like an apple or something, but you're too old?
A little honeybee.
Now Stan Getty's, the last name is spelled differently, G-E-D-T-Y-S,
is doing a calendar of, just looking at this copy here,
it looks like Anne Getty's calendar is for adults.
So you can dress up as, yes, a honeybee or a kitty cat or stuff like that.
A little pumpkin.
And be in one of these calendars.
Yeah, and I did this, and I dress up like a baby iguana,
but I'm a big guy.
So it was funny, it was sweet, it was sexy.
And Stan is a total professional,
and he turns his back when you change.
He says he's turning his back. He says he's turning his back,
well, he is turning his back,
but there's a big mirror on the wall.
He has those spy tech sunglasses
where there's a mirror next to the lens.
So what he says is those mirrors cancel each other out?
Yes, two mirrors don't make a right,
is one of his expressions.
So anyway, back to the show.
Yahoo's new service, Yahoo Screen.
And that is a show created by Paul Feig that I'm one of the ensemble of.
It's a sci-fi comedy.
Well, Shubby Farrow.
And you steal it.
Hmm?
And you steal it.
Yeah.
Well, the nice thing about my character on that show is that I'm sort of the kind of wild card guy.
So I can always just sort of come in and I always have something funny to do.
Not like the Joker.
Hmm?
Not like the Joker.
Jared Leto's the Joker?
Well, you're not scary like that.
You said you were the wild card guy.
You said you were the wild card character.
The traditional wild card left behind at a crime scene, for example.
It sounds a lot like the Joker to me.
Similar to the jokester.
The Joker would leave Uno cards at crime scenes?
Well, I don't get into too many details about it because, honestly, it's too scary for me to watch a lot of what he does.
He does leave.
He has no conscience, and he embraces chaos in this way
where it's like maybe the most frightening thing,
at least somebody like Jason is trying to avenge a wrong that was done to him.
And I'm no Jason apologist.
I'm no fan of him slashing up those teens.
But he's taking revenge.
But the joke man, for what I can tell...
Is Jason taking revenge at this point?
Well...
I mean, latter-day Jason, he's just a...
He's not killing anybody who had anything to do with his mother's death.
He's just closing his eyes and spinning around with a sword.
Right.
It's pure chaos.
Sounds actually a lot like another guy,
the Joker, who embraces chaos.
Well, and then is that what you're saying that you're doing, Neil?
No, no.
It sounds like you.
Because he does leave Uno cards behind at the crime scene.
He doesn't leave, like, multiple cards.
Hey, guys.
You've heard of Trunk Club.
You've heard of the Loot Crate and all these other subscriptions.
But did you know that there's a new temporary tattoo subscription that Hayes and I actually subscribe to?
And that's why you can see us looking cool and looking fresh.
It's the Pen15 Club.
And Engineer Cody actually started this as a cool way to be the hip guys.
Yeah, you can get it on your wrist or on the back of your hand.
It's the only temporary tattoo that uses a needle,
like an electric needle to put it into your hand.
And Cody put them on us and he's promised that if we do these ads, then we'll share in the profits.
And so please join the Pen15 Club with us.
And then the tattoos will disappear, he says, once we do these ads because it has been a while.
It's been over 18 months and we've been having these tattoos.
Back to the show.
And it is an alien.
Now, Poffig, man, can we get him on the show?
You know, he's very, he really likes to impress, it seems.
I've seen him do a lot of stuff.
You could probably grab him, yeah.
Ghostbusters.
You met him?
Yeah, I met him a number of times, yeah.
Good.
He like you?
I hope so.
Yeah, I think so.
I think he does.
What did he do to make you think that?
He's very warm, and he would sometimes compliment me on the performance.
Well, he's wearing a suit.
That's why he's so warm.
What thing did you do that he liked?
There's a number of scenes in the show that afterwards people would say.
What's Uno?
Uno is a card game.
No, Uno of the scenes.
Just Uno scene that you do
that
he like.
There's one scene
where in the middle
of a scene
a keyboard slid out of the wall.
No spoilers.
Just do it
without the spoilers.
Just none of the detail, but the idea.
Well, I've already said the keyboard.
What part do you like?
I've already said the keyboard part, so I'm going to keep saying it.
Stricken.
There's one scene where I'm doing the scene and a keyboard slides out of the wall.
Engineer Cody, can you instruct the jury to ignore that?
Get your hand off of me.
This one is just an ad for mice.
Okay.
It says, meet mice, don't eat mice.
It feels like it's actually directed at cats.
And it's written by mice, I guess.
It's an ad for mice.
It's mice telling cats, don't eat us.
Meet us.
And they want to be friends with the cats.
They want to be friends with the cats.
Okay.
I mean, okay.
I'll just read this copy.
Hey, guys.
I want to talk to you about a really great thing called mice.
These guys are so cool to hang out with and they don't taste good at all.
And so all the cats out there, stop eating mice and try and be friends with them instead.
It says you can use the promo code handbook.
I don't know how you would use that for just the idea of put it write it down on a piece
of tape and tape it over the mouse hole i get i mean that is the most obvious way but but it
doesn't specify but if you use the promo code handbook you can get a 10 discount i don't know
on what i guess it just on being friends Probably some of their funny stories or something. Being friends with mice or, yeah, a 10% discount off a funny story from mice.
Is that it?
You have a cold hand.
It's a keyboard? So Paul loves your keyboard thing.
Yeah.
It comes out of the wall.
Yeah, he loves it when it comes out of the wall.
It comes out of the wall.
That's your thing?
Yeah, I can do some physical business, you know.
What else happened for you in the jobs that you do?
Just in my life?
What jobs have I had?
More with famous people, though.
We should point out we have a new sponsorship.
I'm sorry.
People are probably wondering what's going on.
Jelly Belly Jelly Beans is now a sponsor of the show, and we eat a bunch of jelly beans during the show.
It's like we don't have to talk about the jelly beans or whatever.
We just have to eat them and enjoy them during the show.
Not me.
You got to eat a couple jelly beans.
I can't.
You have to eat one.
That's not.
If it's shaped like a bean, it should taste like a bean.
And don't make a fake bean for me.
Here.
Do you understand?
You don't have to chew it.
Here.
Oh, great.
I guess my number one celebrity story is back in 2012.
So fake.
Go ahead.
What, the bean?
The bean.
The bean.
It was back in 2012, and it was the night of the – Obama's reelection and I was at Saturday Night Live in 30 Rockefeller Center up on the 17th floor.
And Obama got elected and I stepped out to the hallway to see who was around.
And at the same time, Anne Hathaway stepped out in the hallway to see who was around. And at the same time, Anne Hathaway stepped out into the hallway
to see who was around. And we had met very briefly at sort of the host meetings and
took a second to be like, Obama won. And then I could see her decide whether or not
like what she was going to do. And then she very graciously gave me a very polite hug.
And then we both went our separate ways
and then ended up going outside onto the plaza
to celebrate Obama's victory.
You feel her press up against you?
Yeah, I think about that.
It was very chaste and professional and polite.
She's really an amazing performer.
So doing SNL, that must be pretty big hosts.
Will you speak on that, please?
The big hosts?
Must be.
They do a good job of getting big hosts pretty much every week.
Well, we would love some of these hosts, you know?
Did you get along with them?
Yeah, I got along with all the hosts that I met.
And they like you?
They like you.
They were fine with me.
You get some of them on the phone or no?
What do you mean?
Can you get them on the phone?
Like who?
Dennis Miller?
Yeah.
Dennis Miller did not host my year.
I don't think I could get Miller on the phone.
Jan Hooks?
No. Baseball. America's pastime. Jan Hooks uh no baseball
America's pastime and who can forget
the days of their youth when you'd get together
and play a game of pick up with your best friends
if you want to relive those memories
go to theaters now and see The Sandlot
a movie in theaters right now
that has all those memories
and captures a time when America was more innocent
Squints tries to make out with a babe,
and he doesn't care if it's not her will to do that.
Also, big scary dog.
And please, the Sandlot is good, and a blind guy has a baseball.
So if you want that, go to the movies, and that's something plain.
Oh,
Charles Barkley?
I don't think I could get,
no, I don't think I could get Charles Barkley.
Can I see your phone?
I left it in my bag.
Oh, wait a minute, you know Amy
Schumer. Yeah,
after I left SNL, I went to
Amy Schumer's show, Inside Amy Schumer
on Comedy Central.
So that's a great kind of big guest we would love to get.
Can you help us get her?
No.
I mean, if you asked her, I guess I would.
She does not like you.
Don't get along?
We get along great.
Fired, huh? No, no. like you don't get along we get along great fired huh no no i just why wouldn't she do
something that you suggest for you that it's good enough for you it's not good enough for her
she would think it was very strange if i called her and asked her to do
an earwolf podcast that she hadn't heard of no do this one
she might listen to this one all the time. We're not asking her to do Fogel Nest files or something.
I mean, we're asking her to do this show.
Well, Fogel Nest is a real sort of New York character.
I think she'd be very charmed by him.
She's a New Yorker in her own right, you know.
Okay, so Schumer's off the table.
Oh, well, congratulations on you have a part in Adult Beginners,
the new movie with Nick Kroll.
It's a small part, yeah.
I just, I'm in a scene.
That must have been so fun.
What's Nick like on the phone?
Nick Kroll?
He's great.
He produced the movie.
It was his idea, and he made the movie happen, and it's a real labor of love and uh um it's a it's a funny
film oh cool cool how and then when you call him he says what what are some of the inside jokes
i don't think i've ever called nick do you have a funny way to say hi to him that he would like
if someone else did it i don't think i've ever called nick kroll i would love to have a phone
conversation with him i I imagine we would chat
about all sorts of stuff, but it's never really come up. Well, if he does a show, here's something
we'll promise you, and this is rubbing your back too, is we will have him call you on the air from
the show. And so you on here now saying, hey, I'd love to talk to him on the phone. And what we can do is you can have that happen.
Because we know you.
You know him.
If you can put us together with him.
Do you want to ask me about anything?
We could have him call you.
Uh-huh.
I don't see what the trade is.
Hey, you did Veep, huh?
I am going to be – I acted in an upcoming episode of Veep.
Dude, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is friends with Schumer, I think.
What if they're – because I've seen a sketch.
So what if they're hanging out?
They're, you know – maybe you ask Julia to ask Amy because you don't seem to want to call Amy.
And she could do the show too.
And actually –
She can do it too, but she should call Amy.
Amy and Nick, I'm sure, know each other from...
Doing stand-up.
And the same Comedy Central.
Well, I worked for Nick Kroll too.
I wrote for the third and final season of the show.
Ah, dude.
This is even better.
So that's something they have in common is they both know you.
Do you want me to just try and get you famous people?
If we got Nick, Amy for next Saturday.
Nick, Amy.
Nick, Amy.
Julie.
And who rounds that out?
Julie.
Who's Julie?
The Veep.
Yes.
She's the main Veep.
In this season, I believe.
Do you guys just want me to spend the rest of this interview trying to get you more famous guests on the show?
What?
Do you want me to start a group text with everyone that I've ever worked for and say,
does anybody want to come on Hollywood Handbook and then explain what Hollywood Handbook is
and then send them a link and then say, that's all right, I understand?
What are the texts in between?
Yeah, it just doesn't make sense that you would send them a link and then say that's
all right i understand what the link that they wouldn't want to do it oh i left out their
responses their responses to what i said oh no these are the celebrities i want to hear what
they have to say the celebrities would say what is that why would you want me to do this
and then no we're not interested.
Hot pepper peanut butter.
Spicy peanut butter that makes you want to get more milk.
Well, whose number do you have, Neil?
I got a lot of people's numbers out of the way.
Yeah, well, you mentioned a group text.
Now I'm starting to wonder who's even on this thing.
Do you guys want to ask? The phone's outside.
Things are starting to not add up. on this thing. Do you guys want to ask? The phone's outside. It's just things are starting to not add up.
Do we want to ask you what?
Do you want to ask me about anything that I do?
What do you want us to ask you, man?
I've seen half the shit you did.
Good.
Thank you for watching.
Thanks for checking it out.
You're doing the show.
Okay.
We talked about it.
You told us the whole keyboard story, which, by the way, I'm very sorry, but number one,
it's a spoiler.
Number two, it doesn't really sound like you did anything that funny.
And you just want to come on here and talk about all these famous people you know?
And you're dropping names like a maniac.
I haven't dropped a single name.
Then back it up, Neil.
I haven't dropped a single name.
And if you're such good friends, why is it that they can't take your suggestions seriously?
What's Penn Jillette's WhatsApp?
If you had such a fun time in the valet line
with him, I'd love to see your
ongoing thread between you, him, and
Teller on WhatsApp. First of all,
on WhatsApp, it's not like what's
his WhatsApp.
It's like
faces. No, I didn't say
what's his number. I said what's the thread?
I want to see the conversation you guys have been
having. I'm not offering that up
like you
I don't want to show you
this is my friend
the Penn Jillette conversation
we had was happening
off the air
before the show
yes
it's not something
I want to advertise
we're very public
about who our friends are
do people know who he is
you know because
I don't know
I mean I know him as
my friend Penn who always calls me on my bullshit and who is rather tall and is just good at identifying trends.
So I don't really think of him that way.
But we're pretty public about who our close friends are because their names are listed as guests on the show.
And Neil is one of them. And also Pauly Shore shore was one of them and have you tried telling people that and
seeing if that sort of gets their juices flowing you mean next time i get a job i should go and
try and hype your your show a little bit you may want to mention that polly sure called me a homo
on this very podcast and then if they wanted to come in, that they could do the same. Hey, guys, I want to talk to you about Budweiser Mix.
The only way to turn your water into Budweiser if you're underage and can't afford to buy alcohol
is to get Budweiser Mix.
It's beer powder.
Now, while we're here, we do like to ask our guests,
how important is it to make a woman cum?
Who? You. we're here uh we do like to ask our guests uh how important is it to make a woman come who you how's important for we're talking to you yeah but who's the woman yeah you can't get us
anyone else we're talking to you any i mean if you want to go some of these hosts that you know
and talk about how important it is to them that they are satisfied.
I'd say under certain circumstances in life, in very particular contexts,
it can become very important to make particular women come.
But most of the time, I'm not worried about it.
What's one of those contexts?
The most urgent situation.
Like after a couple bottles of wine on vacation?
Then it becomes...
First night of vacay?
It becomes an emergency.
You're setting the tone for the whole rest of the trip.
Yeah, first night of a beach vacation.
Yes.
Then it's...
Then you might have to pull out all the stops.
Not life or death.
Because you've paid for the whole week at the hotel.
At the resort, yeah.
Yeah.
We're out in Hawaii, and I've got to set the agenda for the rest of the week.
And you're going to buy yourself a little leeway in terms of what the planning will be.
Right.
Yeah, that's a very important time to do that thing that we're talking about.
Let me ask you this.
Yeah.
Do you consider if you have to use something other than your fingers, is that a failure?
No.
Well, okay.
What if you have to use another one of your body parts?
Because obviously you don't mean if you use a flower like in 40 Days and 40 Nights when Josh Hartnett is not allowed to engage with her physically, I don't think that doesn't count.
The flower doesn't count.
Do you know Josh Hartnett?
Hartnett?
I know him, but I don't want to talk to him because I don't like Penny Dreadful.
And I don't want to have to tell him that.
You could avoid the subject.
Not the way I have conversations.
Right.
You're pretty to the point.
Yeah.
subject not the way i not the way i have conversations right you're pretty to the point yeah i wouldn't be able to look at myself afterwards if i didn't see him and say
hey that penny dreadful is too creepy so let's go back to this situation if you you're using
your fingers and it it doesn't work you don't say sorry or anything as you move to the next do i say sorry of it
i've never said sorry
even if you even scoop troop never say you're sorry are you suggesting that in your experience
saying sorry makes them come no no no i'm just in your experience when you say so you sort of
whisper an amik apologetic sorry.
I definitely have said sorry.
To say you've never said sorry, that's good on you.
Because I definitely have said sorry.
And sometimes a lot.
What kind of flower do you like to use?
Big, goofy sunflower.
One of those ones that
dance when you play music?
Yeah.
It's got sunglasses on it.
It does like a pinwheel
like,
Yeah,
that's good.
Well,
this,
well,
this part of the interview
has actually been educational.
And so it's not all a loss.
Neil, what's next for you?
What do you got coming up?
Well, I just finished on the MTV Movie Award.
Hey, dickheads.
Tired of taking the trolley everywhere and overpaying for trolley tickets?
Yeah, well, me too.
That's why I got a fucking Saturn Ion.
The most new and best car that goes fast and room you
drive it when you're doing the car no need to tell people which way you turn because the signal
because the signal happens from the light part on the side but you gotta hit a thing and say
fuck you to the trolley and all those and tro Trolley's got too many wheels. And those guys suck a dick. And Saturnion, go, go, go.
Well, hopefully there's going to be a second season of Other Space on the screen.
Where would you stand for good nights?
At SNL?
Yeah.
Are you trying to get as close as possible to?
No.
Because you did say you hugged Anne Hathaway.
In the hallway.
On the night Obama was elected on Tuesday night.
During the good nights, I'd usually already be escorting whoever my guest was up to my room, my office to have a drink.
Your room?
My office that I shared with Bob.
I see.
I'd go have a drink.
You bring a guest.
Or two.
That you shared with who?
I shared an office
with Bobby Moynihan.
Oh, Bobby Carnival,
I was going to say.
A guest or...
No, we're talking about
Saturday Night Live.
A guest or two.
You invite them to the show.
Uno guest.
And then you say afterwards,
that was fun, right right you had a good time
Maybe now
Yeah they'd come up to my office
And I'd show them the goofy dancing sunflower
On my windowsill
Just kind of point it out and be like
Funny right
See what they say
Sort of clock their reaction
Give you any ideas
On a cloudy day Sort of clock their reaction. Give you any ideas?
I got sunshine on a cloudy day.
All right.
Well, like us on iTunes.
Do this on the Facebook and rate us and review us and talk on the forum.
And don't forget that you're going to get the pro version. And, of course, you know it's going to go to my main man, the dude with the tood,
the one, the only, the legendary, and I'm saying the name right now,
and Hayes, who do you think it is?
Charlie Murphy Brown.
Hey, guys, really sorry about the ads in this,
and all the ads in this episode.
You understand that this is how.
I think it's run pretty smoothly.
Yeah, this is how it goes. This is how I think it's run pretty smoothly yeah this is how
it goes
this is how
podcasting business
works and sometimes
you have to do
an episode
with a bunch of ads
couple extra ads
so
we have one more
we want to talk to you
about Privlo
one more time
this is a company
that we really support
these ads
I really want
one of these
to just go
as smoothly
as possible
so let's just get it done really quickly check your Privlo I really want one of these to just go as smoothly as possible.
Me too.
Let's just get it done really quickly.
Check your Privlo.
As we talked about, project work is normal in entertainment.
If you want to buy a house, that could prevent you from getting a traditional bank mortgage.
But Privlo understands the industry.
They're a lender that's built around lending the right way to self-employed freelancers,
independent contractors, and business owners.
Shouldn't it be check your Privlo?
Just do it?
You just want to get through it?
Yeah, I just want to get through it really fast because, you know,
sometimes it seems like whenever he never comes any other time.
Don't say his name.
Please don't say his name.
Right.
Okay.
But you're talking about Vic.
Hey-o!
What, what?
Man, they did some injection in my neck.
Got me feeling good.
It looks... It's wider than your head.
Wider than it is long.
Yeah, I guess.
But you feel good?
Oh, never felt better.
Okay.
I feel like reading some verbatim copy.
We are just finishing up the show.
We actually don't have any
ads this week it's like a crazy thing we just ended up in an episode with no ads vick so i'm
sorry uh there was a day classes san diego you guys see that there that would have been great
that would have been really funny for one of our for one of our ads but we don't have any so
if you just want to wait outside do you have other stuff you need to do here,
or you just seem to be around here all the time?
Ah.
What?
Ah.
Do you mind if we just finish the show?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You won't even notice I'm here.
Okay.
Even if you have a one-time credit blemish,
Privilege is okay with that.
It's show business.
Who doesn't?
That's Privilege.
Privilege is in private loan. To apply, go to Priv doesn't? That's Privilege. It's in private loan.
To apply, go to Privilege.com slash podcast
and fill out a simple online form.
It'll take two minutes and might just get you
a crib in the hills. That's Privilege.com
slash podcast. Privilege. I'm really, really
sorry about the way
these ads have gone.
We can hear you singing.
I hope
you see that we have... I got my my buds in we have tried to do a good
job with these we would really love if you kept buying ads um so and we're i i apologize we will
do we made a mistake bringing this person to the first time we really thought that he would do a good job, but now it's turned into something else.
Thank you for sponsoring us.
You're so our fresh.
This has been an Earwolf Media Production.
Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman.
For more information, visit Earwolf Media Production. Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman. For more information, visit Earwolf.com.
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The wolf dead.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.