Hollywood Handbook - Our Spanish Aqui Presents Friends
Episode Date: December 3, 2019The Boys have a little fun welcoming the hosts of Spanish Aqui Presents (Raiza Licea, Carlos Santos, Oscar Montoya and Tony RodrÃguez) to Earwolf. This episode is sponsored by hims (www.fo...rhims.com/theboys), Indochino (www.indochino.com code: handbook), and Liquid IV (www.liquidiv.com code: THEBOYS).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
And I was auditioning for SNL.
Mmm, yeah.
With Richard.
Which time was this?
This was the time I was auditioning to play Mark McKinney.
Mm-hmm, yes.
This was the time when
every time somebody
retired from the show,
they would bring someone in to play that
person. That person specifically.
So I had gone in to play Chris Goodhand.
I had gone in to play
Anna Gasteyer.
Everyone from that era, I basically
took my shot. And you got
so close. I got really close. And Mark McKinney was one of the my shot. And you got so close.
I got really close.
And Mark McKinney was one of the closest ones.
And I was with Richard.
Kind.
Richard Kind.
Of Kind Barfing.
Yes.
And we were teaming up because I was going to do the head crusher bit.
Mark McKinney did this bit where he says, I'm crushing your head.
And you were going to bring that to SNL.
Yes. can you do this but we said I'm crushing your head uh huh and you were gonna bring that to SNL yes but at the time
my thumb
was stuck
to my palm
it was fucked up
I don't want to
get into why
that had happened
but my thumb
I could not
release from my palm
so to do
it was fucked up
to do head crusher
I needed
someone else's
thumb
to press against
like
my finger.
And believe me, I remember when this was going on
because we had the big company softball game.
The Earwolf softball game was that same weekend.
And who was our catcher?
Mr. Thumb messed up.
And so the ball would hit the glove, my mitt,
and just pass through the thumb part because there was
no thumb in there
to
hit you dead center
in the chest
stop it
yeah
yeah
and so we did
we did the audition
and we did
actually crush the guy's head
because I was like
let's just do it
let's just go for it
yeah
uh
and
enough
enough dancing around it
and Warren actually laughed
at the audition
hey welcome to
Hollywood Handbook
and Insider's Guide
to Kicking Buttons,
Dropping Names,
and the Red Carpet Lineback Hallways.
This industry we call showbiz.
There's so many people
in here today.
There's so many.
Can everyone say their name
at the same time?
Three, two, one, go.
Carlos Rodriguez.
Yes.
And it's Spanish like he presents.
Si.
And we love,
I love that, by the way.
And that's part of it, right?
I love that.
What's that?
Which part?
She said C.
C.
Spanish Hockey.
And that's like part of the thing.
Yeah, that's the Spanish portion.
That is part of it.
Part of it.
And do we talk about this?
That you are busted.
Well, I was going to say first, before we bust anyone.
But they are busted.
Okay, do you want to bust them now?
They should know that they're busted.
And before I say welcome to this family.
Welcome them to the family, and then let's bust their ass.
Welcome, like, we always liked welcome to the family.
And this is a family, isn't it?
Thank you.
A familia, if you will.
Feels good.
I love this.
Do you love that?
We're full of that.
Tony, they're going to use this.
I went familia.
I love that.
Wish I heard more of it on your show.
So let's talk about your show.
I listened to this little show.
Spanish Hockey.
Oh, I'm just kidding.
Why wouldn't that?
Who's this?
Who's calling?
I don't know.
Do we want to take the call?
I'll do it.
Bust them, and then I'll take the call later.
Maybe even after the show, but let's bust them now.
Sorry, suckers.
Your stay of execution from the governor, Hayes decided not to answer.
So, you're busted.
I listened to the show.
The show is called Spanish Aki Presents.
That's right. I was able
to, along with
the help of my friend Babblefish,
determine that
aki means
here. Yes.
Spanish here.
So I listened. What do you think
I thought I would find here on the
show? Spanish?
Yeah
Yeah you thought
It was gonna be in Spanish
But what was happening
When I listen?
It was Spanglish
At best
At worst
Bueno si tu quieres
Te podemos hablar en español
Todo el tiempo
Oh no
Okay
You know what it is though
That's what I wanted
Listen we save the Spanish
For when we do other podcasts
Yeah
Oh okay Asà que cuando quieras Empezamos. Listen, we save the Spanish for when we do other podcasts. Yeah. Oh, okay.
So the Spanish is actually not aquÃ.
It's allá.
Allá.
Allá.
Allá.
Shouldn't at least the show be called.
Allá.
Español.
AquÃ.
Regalos.
Oh, gifts.
Regalos.
Regalos.
AquÃ.
Presents.
The name
And I said gifts
But that's a good point
Because the thing is
The A in SAP could mean anything
Say more
Speak on that
Elaborate
So it came from the SAP button
In remote controls
You guys remember that?
I think they're still around.
It is.
And so we wanted to play with the words.
You wanted to play with the words.
Originally, we were called Spanglish, I keep reserving.
That's right.
Oh, yeah.
There was some drum.
We changed it.
Is that right?
Okay.
That might have prepared me.
The Sandler, the Sandman put the copyright hammer down.
Yeah.
And that's what happened.
If you only knew.
Basically.
It sounds like I do know.
He just told you.
I think you did.
So if you only acknowledge
that I do know.
We acknowledge
the acknowledgement.
I'll half acknowledge it.
So,
Tay Leoni,
where's she been?
Tay Leoni from Bad Boys
where's she been
she was
Madam Secretary
I suppose
she was in Spain
I know
but that's what I remember
Madam Secretary
I presume
so
let's talk about
how I almost drove
my car off the road
because I couldn't
find the Spanish
in Spanish I Keep Presents
well did you only
listen to one
and how dangerous
that is
you only listened
to one episode
no in fact
I listened to two
you only listened
to one episode
of mine you listened to zero you listened to zero you listened in fact, I listen to two. You only listen to one episode of mine.
You listen to zero.
You listen to zero.
You listen to zero.
I listen to five minutes.
Wow.
Okay.
Five minutes.
I listen to one full episode.
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
But I also, like, never really listen to podcasts.
Well, and as I said, this is not the one to start with.
It's a growing medium.
You should really look into it.
I've heard.
I've heard.
Parasocial relationships. So you tried to into it. I've heard. I've heard. Parasocial relationships.
So you tried to trick me.
I saw right through it.
So were you scared that you were going to hear so much Spanish
that you were going to be overwhelmed?
No, I was actually ready to relieve you because I worry people will.
So we say, well, we will do our show.
Spanish Like He Presents is the guest,
and that's going to be the title basically.
And we don't want people to go to our show looking Spanish Aquà Presents is the guest, and that's going to be the title, basically.
And we don't want people to go to our show looking for Spanish. And so when everyone says anything,
voy a traducirlo para todos las personas.
Oh, my God.
Someone's on Babbel.
You want a Babbel?
SÃ.
No puedo entiendo nada, pero yo sé ciento palabras.
Do you feel words?
Do you feel words?
So you know a hundred words.
You know a hundred words or you feel words?
Posiblemente más.
Leche.
Un poco más.
Mujer.
Leche, mujer.
That's serious.
Baila, baila, baila. That tells a story.
That's a story, man.
The milk, the woman, the nails.
What?
So tell us about this show and its ways.
Well, as we've covered, it's in Spanglish.
However, the word Spanish is in English.
Yeah.
Is that confusing?
That.
It's interesting.
Oh, yeah.
I was ready to bust your ass on that.
It had been in Spanish.
You guys were fucked any way you played it.
Yeah, there's.
Because I had my sights on the show.
And let's face it.
It's on purpose.
We've seen a lot of new shows come and go.
And any time there's a hot shot new show,
who goes, oh, we're the new Earwolf show.
Hayes and I just sit back and we just have to laugh.
Oh, yeah?
You've seen it happen so many times.
There's so many of these.
What do you think is the reason for saying to my face?
Flavor of the month.
What makes a successful show?
Is that the question?
It's a great question.
It's a sort of intricate recipe of being already famous when you start doing it.
Okay.
And nothing else.
And then lose the fame?
Well, then bail on the show.
Yes.
Yes.
The most successful shows that have been here aren't here anymore because it was a famous
person who was dipping their toe in the water.
And I look forward to Conan being finished soon.
No.
I love Conan.
I love Conan for the record.
Do you love his podcast?
Because I was told you don't really listen to him.
Actually, I do.
Incredible source.
Actually, I do listen to him.
He's one of my favorite white men in the world.
Do you watch the TV show?
Power rankings right now.
Top 10.
Top 10 white men in the entire world.
In the whole world.
Oh, God.
There's so many of you guys.
I'd have to like.
But 10.
10 of the best.
We only need 10.
Can we all help?
Okay, Daniel J. Lewis.
Tom Hanks.
I'm just spitting out random.
You're just saying actors.
You're just saying actors.
Sure.
Do you just want top 10 white men of all time?
Just Conan.
In the world.
Conan.
In the world, Conan.
Conan, Jimmy Kimmel.
Kimmel's in there.
I love him.
So it's talk show hosts for you, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the pattern.
Craig Ferguson, Kilborn.
No, I don't care about the
other ones. Benjamin
Franklin, Thomas Paine,
Americo Vespucci.
These are the white men that I admire.
Who are those people? The Italian?
One of them is Italian.
He's challenging whether Italians are white.
It's interesting. Italians are white.
And this is what we want on this show.
Let's explore this. We fell into the show. Let's explore this.
We fell into the trap.
Let's talk more about white men on a podcast hosted by two white men.
Let's.
Finally.
It's refreshing.
Stuffy white men.
To look out and see the way that Earwolf is welcoming more and more diverse hosts, how could
I not be threatened?
What other message could I
take than these people coming for
my job? We used to
I don't know if you said when you first showed
up, your
show name was on the wall.
Show name. Oh yeah. Maybe you thought
that was empty before.
Didn't hear that, Hayes?
What?
Somebody got demoted?
Who did we replace?
Show name.
And that's funny.
So there's been an issue lately with like someone will make a really good joke like that.
Usually Hayes.
In fairness, it's usually Hayes.
And we'll just blow by it.
Now we've decided to stop down and really deal with it.
So I said show name.
He said show nameth,
which is a play on Joe Nameth,
who, excellent white myth.
He's okay.
He gets an honorable mention on our list.
He's in the top couple thousand.
Yeah, I agree. For sure.
Which is pretty good.
Yeah.
And so we just like to stop
and we like to honor the joke.
I wish they would do that with me.
No.
Not at all. No. No.
Not at all.
No.
Give me an example.
Give me an example of one that they did not honor.
And we will celebrate it right now.
We'll sink our teeth in.
Everything.
He's like dad jokes all the time.
Like you can't get a word in.
Or puns.
Or puns.
Oh my God.
Yeah. He loves the puns.
I can't remember.
Like we'll be talking about like a legit subject, and Carlitos will be like...
To the point where now my eyes will...
And then Oscar will, like, shut me down.
Yeah.
He'll be like, nope.
I think I'm going to buy a water gun.
It just happened, right?
It did.
I just stared at you, and you shut down.
From my point of view, it's Oscar shutting you shutting Risa down.
That's true.
That's what I witnessed.
Imagine being a woman with three other men in the room and having a voice.
I say we're three queens and a princess.
Okay.
I like that.
All right.
So anyway.
And I'm here too.
I'm not honored.
Don't forget me and Brett.
Oh, yeah.
Three queens queens a princess
and two white men
two jokers
jesters
so who got
who got demoted then
from the wall
actually
I wouldn't call it
necessarily demoted
I did
no that's not the language
that's actually not the word
I would use
graduated from the wall
graduated from the wall
first
to leaning behind the cold brew machine,
which is one of the most used drink machines.
Everybody gathers around it.
It's the airwolf's best kept secret.
It's sort of like a speakeasy.
The only way to get into our show is to go over to the cold brew machine,
pull the handle, and lean way back.
So in a way, it was actually getting more attention.
And then after that, I believe it did fully disappear.
Yes, it's gone, yeah.
But once everyone has seen it,
like when everyone's fully exposed to it,
what's the point?
It can only hurt, really.
No, it's been sampled,
and now it's time for people to make their own decision
about what they've seen.
But who was it? Was it you've seen. But who was it?
Was it you guys?
God, who was it?
It is actually impossible to remember.
Because the sign's gone, whoever it was.
The Shownameth has disappeared.
I thought that was the name of the show.
The Shownameth retired.
It was us.
Yeah.
Oh, right on.
And like Shownameth.
And you've been biting your time.
And it is right on.
You've been biting your time you've been biting your time
waiting for the perfect time to call us in
just like Shonameth you guys came in
dove at our knees when we were looking
and ended our entire
careers
so tell me you have segments
yeah
what are they
our segment is the que te pique segment roughly translates, I'll do this for you.
Okay.
Like, what's itching you?
What's getting under your skin?
Oh, what grinds your gears?
Yeah, let me tell you a little bit about it.
Like Peter Griffin.
What's busting your balls?
Que te pica, guys?
What's bothering y'all?
Que les pica?
Oh, yeah.
What's chapping?
Right now?
Freaking butt cheeks.
That was the second option, actually.
Ah, nice. Ah, nice.
Ah,
bien. I guess right now
I'm a little sad because earlier
when we were
talking about how you like to make puns,
I thought about saying that you were like my favorite
rapper. Big puns.
Oh, okay.
Big puns, for sure.
But I didn't really have a good opportunity
to say it
until now
and
so that feels like a missed opportunity
everyone was really laughing hard
and I felt like I was on the outside of it
well and
you must have been imagining
if only you had gotten it in
that those laughs would actually be yours yes I would have been imagining, if only you had gotten it in, that those laughs would actually be yours.
Yes, I would have been able to take ownership of all those laughs that were happening.
And you could, in fact.
Om nom nom, scrum nom nom.
Yummy gobble them up.
And instead, I just had to support everyone else.
Uh-huh.
As we were feasting on the laughs.
So that made tipas right now.
What's yours?
I shouldn't do anything about you being late, right?
I thought that's what you were going to say.
I thought that was going to be your beat.
I'm kidding.
Drag my ass.
I can take it.
No, what's grinding my gears
let me think of a joke
that I almost made earlier
in this show
that I wasn't able to make
well I squeezed
Sean Nemeth in there
that really worked
Brett's on his phone
I don't love that
I guess I've been able to say
especially
we have like six
this is like
an engineering
nightmare.
Super Bowl for you.
Like this is the most
guests I feel like
we've had
like top three ever.
The levels must be
impossible to keep track of.
You've been seeing me
on this iPad.
You can see our level
like of our voices?
Oh yeah.
Who's the loudest?
Okay,
and Brett just lit up
like a fucking Christmas tree. Who's the loudest? You. And Brett just lit up the fucking Christmas tree.
Who's the loudest?
You by far, I think.
Well, it depends.
There are spikes.
Tight, tight, tight.
Yeah.
But when you're all yelling, it just creates this beautiful distortion across the whole podcast.
Should we try it?
Let's all yell.
You ready, engineer?
No.
I'm ready.
How about next? We'll do it organically.
Not now, but we'll know when it happens.
We can all do like a really big yell.
It's not now, but we will be able to do one soon.
What are some things that you've done for that segment?
Yeah, what's been actually grinding everyone else's gears?
We, I feel like we've hit a bunch of different topics like we
talked about how people were going uh they were mad and upset that like the little mermaid was
they casted a black actress instead of a white actress um we've done uh just the first episode
we talk about the word latinx and why some people get really i wasn't why I was wondering about that I read an article
that said that a lot of Latinx
people do not like the term Latinx
the large majority don't
and wish that people wouldn't use it
I wouldn't say large majority
but I feel like there's definitely
some vocal
I would say a medium majority
tiny majority
who are they asking Who are they asking?
Most of the people.
Who are they asking?
I don't know.
Where did you read this article?
Where did you read this article?
New York Times.
Was this online?
The New York damn Times.
The paper of record.
The gray lady.
And who wrote it?
A white person?
The failing New York Times.
Bret Stephens.
The failing New York Times.
Tom Friedman.
I did get interviewed for that article. and I didn't want to be rude.
So I showed Latinx and said, you should bring it up.
You have bold opinions about it.
I do.
I do, too.
Because, well, first I thought, Racer X is Latin?
I don't know if you guys follow Speed Racer.
Yeah.
No. Yes, Racer X is Latinx. don't know if you guys follow Speed Racer. Yeah. No.
Yes, RacerX is Latinx.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
And that's a big clue to his identity.
I'm so lost.
I am too.
Speed Racer.
RacerX played by Matthew Fox in the feature film Speed Racer.
Speed Racer is arch nemesis.
So Matthew Fox is playing a Latino in this?
Hey, what else is new?
It could be
Why is there so many people? I don't mind
Why is there so many people in the booth?
Yeah, I don't mind, but how come?
I don't know if you didn't know, but we're pretty popular
here at YOLO
People just show up to pack the booth
whenever you do a show
Don't they do that every time you record? Do you not have an audience? People just show up to just pack the booth whenever you do a show. Yeah.
Don't they do that every time you record?
Do you not have an audience?
No, we have.
We've been selling tickets to people to watch us. Sometimes Colin will appear in there and then just frown and write something down in his notepad.
Oh, no.
And then you'll get it in an email later on.
We love Colin.
Did you guys follow him on Instagram?
Yeah.
No?
Oh!
I do, but a lot of the stuff I scroll past.
Wow.
He just had a really great post yesterday.
Was he flexing on me again?
It was about Bad Bunny.
It was about Bad Bunny.
What did he say?
He's wearing sunglasses.
And he's saying that he's now a Bad Bunny influencer.
Do you guys know who Bad Bunny is?
Yes, I know who Bad Bunny is.
You have?
Elaborate.
Okay, what do you have to say about him?
The bunny is insane, out of smite.
He's basically so poorly behaved
that there's no other word for him than bad.
He's conejo malo.
He's so bad.
He's one of the most malo conejos
in the entire pasture,
and he's terrorizing the farmer.
Yeah, that's pretty accurate.
He's eating all the farmer's beans.
There he is.
He's on your phone.
Do you think?
I would never put him.
I would never support his behavior.
Eating carrots, potatoes.
But now you have him on your phone, which makes me ask the question, te gusto?
Pretty accurate.
Yes, a mi me gusta mucho that bunny, Benito.
Benito Martinez Ocasio is his full real name.
Not related to AOC?
No, yeah.
Okay.
He's a real.
You're going to mention the scandal if that came out.
I don't feel.
That they were related.
Honestly, they're both Puerto Rican.
They could be from afar.
I don't feel like I got an answer.
Oh, what do you want to know?
Latinx.
Latinx.
Is that good?
Is it appropriate?
You know what?
Oscar has the best answer for it.
Oscar?
Oscar does.
No, in the episode, he really closes it together.
I'm not trying to piss people off
no no no
here's what it is
no
you don't have to say it
if you don't want to
nobody's forcing anybody
to make it a thing
thank you
I can say whatever I want
at all times
this is what I've been saying
engineer
engineer this moment!
Oh, but Oscar basically, and I'm going to let him speak, has a great point. Take it away.
Thank you, Carlos.
Latinx, the definition of Latinx is a non-gender term for a Latin American person.
A lot of people have an issue with it because it's sort of deconstructing language, right?
Because usually, you know, it's Latino or Latina, right?
And Latinx is like a sort of anglified version of Latin.
So like a lot of Latinxers believe that like, oh, you know, we're changing language and language equals culture and culture equals us.
But I think that the world is changing.
Yeah.
Gender identity is changing.
And for us,
it's beneficial to use Latinx.
For Oscar,
it takes away a lot of responsibility.
And that's what you said.
And I'll never forget that
because I use it as a talking point
whenever people ask me about Latinx.
Oh.
And if one person benefits from the term,
then that's all I need to know.
And if you don't want to use it,
don't use it.
But it's meant to be inclusive.
And obviously
people are always going to have issues with words
and they don't realize that language is always going to
evolve.
You know what? I just won't talk about
it at all.
I just want to clarify something
for the two of you. Our show
is dumb.
The two of us?
Did we get too serious?
It did feel very,
it was really pissing me off,
actually,
what I was hearing.
All these salient points.
Yeah.
Sort of well-spoken.
Yeah.
Our listeners are going to be very mad.
They're going to be so upset
that they learned something?
We had a shirt at one point,
this will clarify things for you.
It said, hot dog, go to bathroom.
Wait, say it one more time.
The shirt said,
hot dog, go to bathroom.
Hot dog, go to bathroom.
I didn't know what it meant.
Neither did Brett, who engineered
the episode where it was first said.
That became a shirt. And people bought it.
No!
Our shirts are selling.
Oh my God,
our shirts are selling.
What?
How do you know?
It's a good logo.
I was like,
wait,
send me that email.
Sorry,
we didn't mean
to get too deep.
You guys ever butt heads
with yo's this racist
in the halls?
Oh,
I love that.
We have friendly conversations.
We do butt heads
in an affectionate way.
We butt butts.
Okay.
We bump.
It's really what kissing is
is a kind of butting heads.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Kissing is butting heads?
Kind of.
No, it is.
In a way.
The mouth part of the head.
Okay, so you're allowed
to make all these points
and I make one
really smart point
and I am immediately
challenged on it.
So jealous.
On my own show.
So jealous instantly.
What the fuck do you mean by it?
And Hayes, you said something really smart,
and I use this as a talking point when I'm on panels and stuff,
and the mouth part of the head is still the head.
Yes.
And you said that.
Wait, the mouth part of the head?
Yeah, that's why you're a buddy.
It's still the head, so you are a buddy.
Are we talking about a penis head or a head?
No, Ryza.
No.
Ryza Gator.
No, but that's closer to our show.
I get it now.
That question is getting us closer to our show.
Okay, good, good, good.
Keep that line of reasoning.
It's good if she does.
Go ahead, Ryza, keep going.
I mean, God.
I just realized I am really legit the only woman in this room right now.
That's usually how it works.
And we can reckon with this at another time, I guess.
There's no, I mean, honestly, it's Kevin's fault.
It was Kevin's scheduling that did this.
Did what exactly?
Yeah, what happened?
Created a podcast with six men and one woman.
And I've seen him.
He's laughing.
I was defending you yesterday from bullies.
Kevin, why did you do this?
Kevin got promoted to senior producer, and then he said, now things are really going to change around here.
And I guess what he meant was less women.
Less women.
All right, we'll have to discuss after, Kevin.
Sidebar.
Kevin, walk me through the thinking.
Yeah, Kevin always gets on mic without needing any excuse.
I didn't want to be on mic for this.
Very sorry about that.
I appreciate you guys supporting me against the culture kings.
No, no, no.
You guys know me. Yeah yeah it was just the woman yes
yeah so i should be supporting you the most right now you should yeah always no matter what always
cool we call him chef kevin you guys don't call him that and other shows have stolen that nickname
and done very variations on it and you could call him cosi Nero Kevin. Like Chef Curry or what do you mean by that?
Chef Curry.
Not in the exact same way.
Capacity.
Whereas Chef Curry is
cooking with a shot.
Chef Kevin
is
what is
the Kevin version of that?
I guess he's like
cooking Like, what is the Kevin version of Rosie? I guess he's, like, cooking.
Well, he's not really cooking.
He's prepping.
He's a sous chef.
He's sort of prepping the celery.
While Chef Curry is cooking with a shot,
Chef Kevin is touching all the food.
That, yes.
He's touching the food.
He's got a finger on all the pies. Yes, yes. He's touching the food. He's got a finger on all the pies.
Yes.
Yes.
He's prepping.
Got it.
Yeah.
There's sort of a watery soup that dribbles out of his mouth when he speaks.
Oh, I see.
Like a cozy narrow.
That's what that is.
Because he's savoring every bite.
He's savoring every bit of the thing that he's doing.
Okay.
Senor Tomate.
Let's talk about it.
What's your stance on it?
Can we finally put to rest the true story of Señor Tomate?
What's going on for him?
Oscar.
Who the fuck is Señor Tomate?
I know.
I'm like.
I don't know who that is.
Who is Señor Tomate?
Is this your friend?
Mr. Tomato.
And who is that?
He's nervous.
He's a character in a song.
Oh.
He's very nervous.
Oh, yeah, I do know about Mr. Tomate.
I think they're making salsa tomorrow.
Yeah, that's right.
And Señor Tomate is worried that he'll go into it.
This is a song they sing for babies now.
Yes.
Yes.
Where?
That's right.
Yeah, where?
My house.
Can we hear it?
Nope. All right hear it? Nope.
All right.
What's the origin story of Señor Tomate?
How did he come to be?
Where is he in this world?
I think he got grown.
He got grown?
I mean, I think he was a seed.
So, the farmer.
And then Bad Bunny is sneaking up
Bad Bunny
and he's picking up
field mice
and my understanding
is he's bopping
him on the head
that's a service
this is what
the Bad Bunny is doing
so what you're saying
is you don't like
Latinx music
by
excuse me that's what you're saying that's not what I said Luis Fonsi is a very dear friend is you don't like Latinx music. Excuse me.
That's what you're saying.
That's what I said.
Luis Fonsi
is a very dear friend.
Ah, verdad?
¿Cuál canción te gusta?
Menos Despacito.
Menos Despacito.
No puede decir esa canción.
Despacito featuring
Justin Bieber.
That's why
you gotta give me
you gotta do me another song
other than that one.
Which one do you like
of Luis Fonsi?
I heard.
No, I understood.
I just don't know any other ones because that's not why I am friends with him.
He's solely friends with him because of the impact that Despacito had in the entire world.
Yes.
On the culture, on the tourism.
If I were...
Of where?
The tourism of where?
If I knew Puerto Rico.
If I knew any other songs of his, it would cheapen our friendship.
Disgusting knowing other songs of his.
Because if he found out, he would have been upset with you.
Yes, absolutely, yes.
If I so much as hum a song of his, he likes that.
You know how sometimes in movies, the big star will go to the bar
and just want to be alone
and get to be by themselves.
Baseball cap down.
Forget who he is for a second.
Yeah, and then he's talking to a sweet person
and then the hat blows off.
Wait a minute, it's you.
Okay.
Big star.
No, but in this case,
the sweet person is like,
who are you?
He's like, oh, sorry.
And they're like, who are you?
And he's like, wow.
Even after the cap is sweet.
Even better.
The person would be sweet.
The wind has blown through the bar
and has blown the cap off.
Oh, I pictured a really high-powered ceiling fan.
No, in this case was the wind.
Windows open.
The regular wind. The windows open the regular wind
the windows open
saloon door
saloon door
so the wind
is just coming right in
it's an old west
famous cowboy
yeah
famous person
famous cowboy
cowboy hat
sweet person
Brett Michaels
what is it
maybe the sheriff
is Brett Michaels
a cowboy
oh cause he wears
cowboy hat
oh yeah
see I also know
about pop culture.
Well, let me see.
Brett Michaels is, where is he?
In White Man.
Who is Brett Michaels?
Is he a sports person?
Brett Michaels is lead singer of Poison
and also star of VH1's Rock of Love.
Yeah, I literally would never.
And Rock of Love, too.
He could walk by me
and I wouldn't know
who he was.
But you'd turn
and watch him go.
He's got presents.
He's got presents.
Brad Michaels.
Oh, I would.
You'd turn.
The sunglasses would come down.
You would look back at it.
I'd look back at it.
I'd do that.
You'd need to.
You'd go,
ooh, yeah.
Okay.
Okay, and she did it. We can't see what he just did. And for those listening to the podcast at home she did it
and she did that she did that
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of those listening i have a question for you guysoh. I don't like the way this is starting. I'll turn the tables.
Tony.
Well, our show, I know our audience is a wide array of Latinx people.
People with fluency in Spanish, English.
Well, we have a lot of white people, too.
A lot of white people, too.
So many white people.
So many white people.
Too many, maybe.
Yeah.
I think we're hitting a cap.
We're hitting a cap.
Who listens to this show?
We'll take hitting a cap.
We're hitting a cap.
Who listens to this show?
There's been a lot of research on this, actually.
Earwolf invested in it.
So the people who listen to this show primarily are people with
their phone is broken.
Which is a huge percentage of the country.
You'd be surprised how many people have that problem
well you've heard about how uh sort of this concept of planned obsolescence and how apple
products are pre-programmed to break just beyond their warranty and so we managed to strike a deal
with uh just a weird guy we met in cuino. And about a third of those phones that break
do default to playing Hollywood Handbook.
And what better way to get people to trade in their phones
than to have it to always be playing our podcast?
And your car automatically starts playing it as well.
You guys are like the U2.
Yeah, Songs of Innocence.
Formerly what happened with U2 is what you guys are doing.
Yeah, right on. Yeah, it is likenocence. Formerly what happened with U2 is what you guys are doing. Oh, yeah. Right on.
Yeah, it is like that.
That song fires up every time.
That Songs of Innocence, that comes on.
They go like, tea and biscuits too, or whatever they say at the beginning.
I go, oh, yeah.
Let me leave this on.
Their songs in the phone were weightless,
and our podcast makes your phone very heavy.
It is, actually.
We've recorded so many episodes at this point.
It downloads them all at once,
and it physically makes your phone so heavy
it will actually break through your pocket.
Oh, wow.
It replaces people's photos of their family as well.
It burns a hole.
It's a real bloated, bloated phone. The photos of their family as well. It burns a hole. It's a real bloated, bloated photo.
The photos of their family get replaced by images from the episode of us holding hands with Brett and stuff.
It's very invasive.
And if I may say this as well, no manos en la boca.
No manos en la boca no manos en la boca
no manos en la boca
keep your hands
porque las manos
están sucias
don't put your hands
in your mouth
is your child
black next
I feel like
everything
all
all baby
I feel like you
so this is something
that has been
happening a lot
he's learning it
for Connors' mission
he's just like
what do we feel
about Señor Tomato
he's learning it
I want to be able
to answer his questions
got it no I mean you be able to answer his questions. Got it, got it.
No, I mean, you and your wife, who's also white,
gave birth to a Latinx child.
That's a recessive gene.
This does happen.
If anyone recalls the Burt Fershtner sketch
from the Burt Fershtner's Comedy Central special in 1994, maybe,
there was a sketch where the baby's first words are in Spanish,
and he's correcting his parents.
So they'll go, doggy, woof, woof.
And he'll go, perro, arf, arf.
And that's like what the entire sketch was.
And I now am living it.
It was a chilling vision of my future.
At the time, I'm laughing my ass off.
Like we all did at Burt Fershner's.
The Orangina sketch where they pronounce it Orangina
and the blow is that they ordered a Diet Cock
instead. All the
sketches. The tube
top song. Dude,
yes.
All of that has come to pass.
Are you legit though teaching your child
Spanish? Yeah. That's tight.
No, I like that. That's tight.
That's good.
Just more for survival.
I think way more white parents should be doing that.
And I'll try to learn it too.
Good.
Okay, fine.
Keep your hands to yourself.
Good, I hope I do learn it.
Good, I hope you do.
Good, I'm glad.
I hope I do.
Good, because next time you better be fully fluent in Spanish.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, well, yeah, next time maybe I will. All right. Or maybe next time our. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, yeah. Next time, maybe I will.
All right.
Or maybe next time our show will be canceled.
Maybe there won't be a next time.
Speaking of that, yeah.
I mean, you may not like what I say, which is I'm mad that my show is canceled.
I got to take it out on someone.
How many deep are we, Spanish Hockey Presents?
How many episodes?
20. No. 20? How many episodes? 20.
No.
20?
18, 20?
19.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was off by a bit.
What are you doing for 20?
It's a Thanksgiving episode, so Thanksgiving.
Okay.
We have Danny Navarro.
He's the owner of my favorite Cuban restaurant, El Cochinito.
Also, my favorite restaurant.
Also, dare I say say mine as well yeah okay
i didn't want to speak for everybody else for their personal i love it as well okay he's always
so i was waiting but listen we didn't do anything for 20 like that like what you're saying we did
something for 15 for quinceanera yeah okay so that's so interesting you. You've done 19 episodes now. And so your podcast, this is like a podcast term that I do not like.
But your podcast is barely legal.
Barely legal.
Yeah.
And this is something that Kevin says all the time.
It's like a big phrase in the podcast industry.
It sounds like Kevin.
This is like a big milestone.
I hate it.
And every time he says it, it's disgusting.
Well, and at the time, I now
realize that I have heard him talk about
your show before because when you were doing the big
Quinceañera episode, he referred to your show
as jailbait.
So mad.
So saucy. Really gross. Why did you do this?
It's on brand, I guess. It is
increasingly on brand.
Kevin is filthy. Were there
other parts of your podcast that we wanted
to discuss? Don't change the subject.
And now I also am pissed because
we have this huge audience in the
booth that we have now lost.
And now it's only Kevin.
No, I'm Matt. Matt's in there.
I'm Blanca. Oh, hi, Matt.
Another fellow brown Latino.
Look at him.
Look at him laugh.
Look at him laugh. As opposed him. Look at him laugh.
As opposed to a halfie.
He was on the show.
Halfie, that's right.
Matt Abogado.
Were you asking?
Matt Abogado for you.
Law school graduate.
Matt Abogado.
Yeah, were you asking him seriously?
1-800-MATT-ABOGADO.
What was he asking?
He was asking if there was anything else we wanted to talk about.
For real, for serious. Yeah, he was asking seriously. Matt was asking if there was anything else we wanted to talk about. For real, for serious.
Yeah, he was asking seriously.
Matt was asking this.
Okay.
It sounds like he's driving at something.
I don't know what it is, but he must be satisfied or he'll lose his shit.
He's getting aggressive.
Yeah.
We do have another portion in the podcast.
So the first part is a que te pica that we were talking about earlier.
And then the second half, we have a guest that we interview.
And we try to get mostly as many Latinx guests as we can.
But not limited to.
We're not limited to.
We've had a bunch of white people do it.
Our mutual friend Rachel Bloom has done it.
Special white people do it. Our mutual friend Rachel Bloom has done it. Special white people guests.
But if you're white, you have to be like
You better bring it.
You better keep your hands off your mouth.
No putting your hands in your mouth.
This is like top 10 whites.
You know what I mean?
You gotta be Conan O'Brien.
Don't name it.
Daniel Day-Lewis.
Jimmy Kimmel. You gotta be Conan O'Brien. Working on Daniel Day- Don't name it. Daniel Day- Brett Michaels. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So if you're white and you do it-
Yeah, Jimmy Kimmel.
And if you're-
Any man show host, obviously, Doug Stanhope.
No, no, no.
Only those two.
Bill O'Reilly.
Not the other ones.
No, Bill O'Reilly, for fuck's sake.
Bill O'Reilly?
Yikes.
No.
But yeah, no, and then we interview them.
So Bill O'Reilly is asking to be on Spanish I Keep Present.
Constantly.
And you're saying no.
Guy has like five million followers.
You're turning that down?
You want to laugh?
My dad has all his books and loves Bill O'Reilly.
Wow.
And would be so impressed if we had him.
And I would still say, fuck no.
Cubans are complicated people.
Lincoln, matando.
We did that.
Yeah, yeah.
Reagan, matando.
Yeah.
We turned down Bill O'Reilly, too, because of our good principles.
Yeah.
We said, get out of here!
Because you like spin.
Oh, he showed up to Earwolf?
Yes.
He showed up.
We decided to really stick it to him.
And we got all the way into the studio.
And we played the theme song.
And then we friggin' shoved all the equipment off the table.
And we're like, get the heck out of here.
Wait, so you told Bill O'Reilly to show up.
To show up.
And we wasted his whole afternoon.
Good.
But we did have him post to promote the show.
So we would get the attention.
The O'Reilly report. And we recorded an episode. Oh, the show so we would get the attention.
And we recorded an episode.
Oh, yeah, sure.
And we released it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It happened.
But hang on his face.
But then afterwards, we were like, leave now.
Hey, get out of here.
I mean, he was kind of gone.
This was after an hour and a half of interviewing him.
And you still said it very softly to yourselves.
Yeah. That's good stuff. We fucking hate him and we don said it very like softly to yourself so I'm not good yeah
that's good stuff
we fucking hate him
and we don't want him
on our show
we don't want him
even though
I listened to him
I had to watch him
through high school
what?
so every time
we say that we don't like him
you say that you're family
love him
and you listen to
no no no no no
not my family
woo
not put all of them
in that box
just my dad.
He's a conservative.
He's a Republican.
What are you going to do?
And that's, you know, and that's, that is, that honestly is, it does be like that sometimes.
Yeah.
Be like that.
Honestly, it does.
No, and we can say that on this show, right?
Yes.
It does be like that.
I mean, sometimes it does.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you said it.
It had to be said and you said it.
Well, thank you.
Yeah.
We have been told that the guest interview is not a segment.
Like, that doesn't count as a segment.
Oh, because then we do improv.
That's what it is.
Oh, yeah.
Then we do improv.
You do improv.
Based off the interview.
Oh, okay.
All right.
So it's a little dash of spot.
A little. And this is Kocina or Kevin in the podcast lab. Oh, okay. So it's a little dash of spot. A little.
And this is Kocina or Kevin in the podcast lab.
Dash of spot.
Un poquito.
Dash of...
A pinch of grinding my gears,
the Peter Griffin segment of Family Guy.
Yes.
Really grinding my gears.
Oh, Terry Gross.
Yes, Terry Gross.
That's an interview on NPR.
Uh-huh.
I get it.
Thank you, Tony.
Thank you, Tony, for clarifying. He looks straight. I would never look straight. Terry Gross that's an interview on NPR uh huh thank you Tony thank you Tony
for clarifying
he looks straight
I would never
listen to NPR
he's like
that's not on
her radar at all
no
and out comes
Spanish like he presents
yeah
with very limited
Spanish
yeah
but like we told you
if you want us to
come back
and speak in Spanish
all the time
we'll do an all
Spanish episode
yeah
and that when you come back yes We're doing a whole Spanish episode. Yeah.
And when you come back, then what is going to happen?
You guys will do it exclusively in Spanish. We'll do it exclusively in English.
Oh, okay, great.
A crossover episode.
A crossover episode.
You host Spanish I Keep Presents, and we'll host Hollywood Handbook.
Yeah.
And we'll both have Bill O'Reilly.
That'll be good.
Yes, that'll be good. I'm certainly,
I'm not crashing against the ceiling
of my Spanish vocabulary
with the two phrases I used in the show.
I'm just showing you just a little taste
of what I've got in store.
What were the two phrases?
Leche, mujer, baila, baila.
Señor tomate.
Señor tomate.
And...
Las manos en la boca.
Las manos en la boca. Las manos en la boca.
And what else?
Te gustó.
Y te gustó.
Te gustó.
That's almost right.
Te gustó.
Te gustó.
Te gustó.
Yeah, te gustó.
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life can be ridiculous but you know what's not funny?
Getting ripped off.
And Harry's agrees.
So what we want to talk about today with...
Sorry, you said Harry's or Harry?
I said Harry's.
We always talk about Harry's first, and then we talk about you, clean Harry,
who are sort of our new...
Noted.
Mask guy, I don't know, for this campaign.
Talk about Harry's first.
What we want to talk about is something funny that happened to you recently.
Great.
A ridiculous or fun situation that you were in recently.
That's the prompt, and that'll take us into discussing the product,
how great the product is.
Funny to me or funny to just anyone?
I mean, do you feel like there's a difference there?
Like you...
Yeah, I mean, I've had things happen to me that I suppose you would find funny.
Okay.
But that you didn't find funny.
And you have things...
Well, no, not really.
And you have things that have happened that you would find funny, but the rest of the world would not.
Yeah.
I guess I'm interested in that one. that you would find funny, but the rest of the world would not. I guess I'm interested in that one.
That I would find funny?
Yes.
But that others would not find funny.
You seem to think that you have a specific taste when it comes to what's funny or ridiculous that is not i ordered uh um like a scented
spray for my pillow to help me sleep at night like a lavender scent okay and uh
they accidentally sent me two okay so you understand that most people would not buy that
So you understand that most people would not buy that funny or ridiculous, but you do. I just had a little chuckle about the mix up at the shipping warehouse.
Harry saw customers getting screwed over by questionable overpriced shaving products.
Clean Harry on the come up.
Decided to do something better.
Instead of charging the same stupid high prices,
Harry's found their own way to make
a beautifully designed razors
for a fraction of the price of other big brands.
Bogo, baby.
Exceptional products, honest prices.
Is there a Bogo as part of this?
Because I don't want to be talking about
deals that aren't.
No, but I, Clean Harry, punk, actually got two bottles. Buy one, get one. want to be like talking about no but that's what happened that are no but i clean harry punk
harry's two bottles buy one get one their deodorant their lotion their body wash their hair gel
all very high quality products they all smell great german engineer blades made in their own
factory they stay sharp longer you get a five blade razor, weighted handle, foaming shave gel, and a travel cover for just three bucks at Harry's.com slash the boys.
Highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry.
No risk trial.
Don't like your shave.
No worries.
It's on them.
Getting ripped off isn't funny.
Do you want to hear what happened to me that you might find funny?
Yes.
Yes, sure.
But that you didn't.
Yeah.
So you're attuned to this stuff.
I got my foot stuck in the dryer at the laundromat,
and it somehow turned on.
And you know that that was something other people would find funny
based on the responses you were getting.
A lot of people inside that laundromat seemed to find
it pretty humorous when my leg started spinning around and flipping me over
what happened was i was holding my laundry basket with both hands and i saw oh still a sock left in
the dryer so i stuck my foot and tried to pick it up with my little toesies i wear sandals
little toesies i wear sandals punk and as i'm picking it up i just sort of tripped and my foot got wedged in between there's like slats in there and stuck inside there and then i don't know who
somebody pushed the button or what but it turned on and the thing starts flipping over. And I'm flying in circles. Help, punk.
Help me, you punks.
Are your clothes staying in the basket?
Are you going fast?
No, no, no.
I'm wearing all of them by the end of the cycle.
Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com slash the boys.
That's harrys.com slash the boys for a $3 trial set.
Hollywood handbookbook how has it
been like just around the office and stuff and like the cafeteria and things like that are people
being nice to you very welcoming yesterday we had so much cuban food in the kitchen yeah oh wow
yeah i felt like it was themed food yeah yeah they have that here so every once in a while
it's fantastic and then two days ago, there was barbecue.
And sometimes they have cakes when people have milestone episodes and birthdays.
Do you know what we get every time we do 100 episodes?
Nothing.
For each 100, we get one carton of cigarettes.
Smoke up, Hayes.
Cigarettes.
Smoke up, Hayes.
Which we don't like. Yeah, it's a banner fucking year at the Hollywood Handbook podcast.
Carton of cigarettes.
Smoke up, enjoy.
Winston Salem's.
Very specific.
Which we hate it.
We hate having to smoke all these cigarettes.
But you do it.
You smoke the whole thing in front of Cullen.
You're not wasteful.
You're not wasteful.
And it really
disincentives
and what he calls
cigarettes is
very offensive
and it disincentivizes
doing more episodes
because even now
as I'm doing this
I know it's one more
cigarette
that I'll have to
you get tasted
in your mouth
how many have you guys done
they're trying to smoke us out
we've done
not in a fun way
we've done like
what
three three 320 something
that's a lot of baguettes
tony can say that only tony can say that oscar and tony oscar does not say that word though
and now i know approximately how many episodes we've done before that word is used on our show.
Yes!
Is this a first?
I hope so.
Pauly Short came close.
Pauly Short came very close.
Luckily, that episode was 35 minutes long.
I think if it had gone to 40 he would have found a way
to get it in there
wow wow wow
I guess it happens to
a lot of podcasters and we're now the last
Earwolf podcast I think to use it
the word?
yeah
we're closing it we're putting it in a box
yeah
I like how Tony was talking about que te pica earlier.
He's very free with it.
So free, yeah.
Do you guys want to say
que te pica hoy?
Que no pico.
Que no pico.
Hoy?
Just like in general?
Hoy, ahora.
Ahora mismo.
Tienes tiempo.
Que te pica ahora.
Que no pica ahora.
We were talking about Disney+.
We were talking about
losing likes. That's pissing you off. That's not pissing us off. Disney+. That We were talking about losing bikes.
That's not pissing us off.
Disney Plus.
That's not pissing me off.
Oh, it's not?
Okay.
Why is it in this segment?
It's supposed to be what you pissed about.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Let's talk about Disney Plus.
I'm a little...
He's pissed.
Go off.
It has the biggest
Disney catalog, right?
But it doesn't have
all of the Disney franchises.
Shots fired.
Wow.
The bare minimum
is to have a
Walt Disney animated movie
in there
and it doesn't have
a couple of them in there
and that's Oscar.
That's because they want
to come to the South sorry this is way too much
this is way too far
way too hot for us
we cannot be having people
like
going this hard
on Disney Plus
on the show
yeah they might be
they might sponsor
down the line
I'd still like to work
in this town
thank you
say
like the opinion
we'd prefer
make my music
where is that on Disney Plus what? that's Disney we prefer make my music where is that what on disney plus that's disney
show make mine music what about under the umbrella tree is it there i don't know i don't know what
that is you're just what we prefer you say oscar is that disney plus has given you too much delicious
content and your belly is full oh my god i don't think i'm an American consumer. My bully can never be full.
We lost Kevin too. Oh no, he's back.
I want more baby Yoda.
That's what I want. And people are
talking about this baby Yoda.
Is that right? It was trending today.
It's not Yoda. But it's not Yoda as a baby.
It's not Yoda. It's Boda.
Boda and that's
wedding. Any true fan
of Jimmy Kimmel would know that it's not really baby
yoda because they did do a segment about it on his show and what is it well the timeline of
the series is that it takes place after the death of yoda even in the last only existed as a force
ghost so it is the same type of creature but it's not it's not it's not yoda it's actually
puts him at the same age as anakin wow carlos what is this a snapchat i'm putting you on the story
oh no we should be doing more stuff like this yeah it's too much no hey oh i'm not in it
hey guys with your blog too bad is this taking away from recording on your podcast taking away from
no this is huge for us
we've never been on Instagram
in any capacity before
it's a lot of firsts for you
we've applied
we've popped your cherries
in so many things
we applied for the show to be mentioned on Instagram
by other people so if this goes through
that would be huge.
We'll tag you.
If your account is frozen tomorrow, this is why.
But I will put hashtag ad, okay?
So you have to pay us.
Ad?
I keep hearing about these hashtags.
Hashtag ad.
What's that about?
Do you know?
You don't know about the hashtag ad?
It started because of a fire festival.
No way.
What?
Yeah.
Let her speak.
I want to hear this.
Let her speak.
What?
What do you mean?
You're saying the hashtags weren't a thing before fire festival?
No, I said hashtag ad, not hashtag.
Oh, no.
See, as a typical straight man, he immediately jumps on me before letting me finish my sentence.
Oh, cool.
Cannibalize the team.
Oscar, step in and interrupt Carlos
yeah
no because
if you watch the fire document the fire
festival documentaries
both of them talk about it that the
reason that now like people have to put
hashtag ad when they get a
paid to post something is
because all these like Instagram
models and famous people were posting
and then they got he and the lawyers like went after them and they were like but we just got
paid and that's only we didn't even know what we were doing so now you have to say it's a hashtag
ad so it is because of that they messed it up for all of us yeah so if you got paid to put something
you have to put it because if not something happens bad you have to something, you have to put it. Because if not, something happens bad with him.
You have to put that.
You have to put it.
You have to put it.
Yes.
But you can also put it and then get paid, which is what you are going to do.
No, I'm going to get paid by you guys.
Brett's going to send us a check.
He already confirmed.
Like what?
Usually I just pay people in cash.
Oh, that's fine.
We take cash.
It's weird, but we'll take it.
Cash app, Zelle. It's kind of wet. Huh? that's fine. We take cash. It's weird, but we'll take it. Cash shop, Zelle.
It's kind of wet.
Huh?
The cash is a mess.
Yeah.
It smells.
The cash has been buried
in a coffee can
with a lot of leaks.
And it was buried
in the cemetery.
Oh, wow.
Next to some bodies
that were loose.
The bodies were loose?
So the cash is haunting.
Oh.
We'll take it.
Is that how haunting works?
You just have to be close to a body?
Yeah.
The ghost goes in there.
It's fine.
It's fine.
You do una limpieza and that's fine.
You're good.
You get rid of the brujerÃa.
I'm doing, yes, I'll do that.
Who do you get to do that?
You get a witch to do it?
Because now she's in the cash.
You could go to a bruja,
un babalao, or you know.
You could do it yourself.
Pasarlo un huevo. Is there a Yelp?
Una botanica. You have to go to the botanica
and buy your stuff.
You know what I'm talking about.
This is taking me back to
the Ash vs. Evil Dead episode about
the brujo.
The brujo. Do you want to talk about that? This is taking me back to the Ash vs. Evil Dead episode about the Brujo. The Brujo.
Yeah.
Do you want to talk about that?
Sure, yeah.
We had an episode where they go to the Brujo.
So interesting.
Kevin said that they all had a hard out at four.
Oh, I do.
What time is it?
It's 4.04.
Oh, yeah.
Now they're just hanging out.
Yeah.
I have to go.
The show's been over for half an hour.
My food is cooked. My food is cooked.
My food is cooked.
We stopped recording.
I have a Friendsgiving and my food is cooking.
That's what it is?
It's a food?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Your food is cooking?
My food is cooking.
I don't think you know.
What is it?
I made mac and cheese in the crock pot.
And I'm making a corn souffle.
And also I have a
jalapeno and queso appetizer.
That's a lot of stuff to just leave by yourself.
Just leave it in the kitchen.
Very similar colors.
That's very dangerous, Reza.
How does Kevin feel about this?
Chef Kevin?
Can I touch each plate of it?
You just want to touch it?
That's what he does.
He tastes through tactile.
Okay, all right.
Like a fly?
You could do that,
but then you got to make a whole new of everything.
Deal.
But then he is going to touch that too.
And with that, I'm out.
Rize is leaving, but I'm not cooking anything.
So what's up, guys?
Okay, well.
Do I just, what do I do? No, so what's up guys okay bueno do I just
what do I do
do I just leave
no you just get up
and leave
I have to pee
I also have to pee
let me pee
I do too
no let me pee first
let's all leave
at the same time
adios
I think we'll all
fit out the door
adios
Hollywood Handbook
that was a
hate gum podcast