Hollywood Handbook - Parquet Courts, Our Music Friends
Episode Date: March 1, 2022The Boys team up with AUSTIN BROWN and SEAN YEATON from the band Parquet Courts for an important musical task.  Make sure to see them on tour this month!And the video recording of this episo...de at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
So, Club DVA, Tiesto is annihilating his residency.
I am in the VIP.
I'm sort of vibing. And I'm trying to get in the VIP. I'm sort of vibing.
I am.
And I'm trying to get in the VIP.
Like, I'm vibing, like, just outside the VIP.
Gotta go, like, do you see me, Hayes?
Because a lot of times we've gone together.
But still loving Tiesto's stuff.
But, yeah, it was, yes, I'm remembering this night.
But go ahead.
What were you going to say?
But yeah, it was.
Yes, I'm remembering this night.
But go ahead.
What were you going to say?
I was slurping out of a big jar that had honey scrawled on it. H-U-N-N-Y.
Holding it with both hands.
Just slurping the honey.
And it's like off menu.
And they actually don't even have it all the time.
But I'm just like enjoying.
I'm like scooping it up. and i'm trying to get to the
honey that's like stuck on the inside of the jar normally i don't get this because it is so much
honey it's like more than i actually need in like within one night right it's a little um it's a
little heavy and i of course i i'm also there and I also have a special treat that I actually had to sneak in, which is I have a jar of expired E. coli peanut butter that I got off eBay.
It's sort of an artifact of the largest, you know, food spoilage lawsuit in U.S. history.
And I'm waiting to crack that baby because I'm like, this is, you know, this is rare.
This is expensive.
We talk about like, oh, like table service, like that's expensive.
No, actually, this is expensive. There's a lot oh like table service like that's expensive but no actually
this isn't expensive there's a lot of bottles of gray goose out there there's there's really only
a handful of these peanut butter jars left and i'm about to bust it open and make this place
sick as dogs which is such a great shared experience i mean it's almost like an ayahuasca
thing right where like through that um pur, of, you know, your past,
which is all collected in your gut molecules,
you sort of find out who you're supposed to be.
But go ahead, you're eating a big thing of honey?
Well, I think that makes sense because, like, once you did open it,
and it is, like, aerosolized at that point, it turns out. Like, people aren't really opening this, but, like, that did sort of and it is like aerosolized at that point it turns out
like people aren't really opening this but like that did sort of confirm that it was aerosolized
but i think the fact that i had gotten the honey jar stuck on my head at that point is why i didn't
suffer you were the only person in the club immune to yes uh immune to the effects and so and so
yeah i mean you got you ultimately carried everyone out
of the club one by one including tiesto which i've always been i've been grateful for i haven't had a
chance to say thank you until today but we've been so crazy running around and now we're still busy
we have a show so busy we have the guys we have austin we have Sean. They're both here.
Did you ever do DV8?
Y'all ever hit...
Did y'all hit DV8 during that
period of Tiesto's residency?
I have a
DeviantArt page.
You're on DeviantArt.
Okay, what are we doing?
Right into it. Mpreg and uh yeah it's cigarette guy i
have a couple pieces up there right now you're you're the name of your username is cigarette guy
cigarette underscore guy cigarette underscore underscore couldn't get it without i think i did
it intentionally some good pieces up there and that could be an interesting
motif on deviant arts sonic smoking a cigarette yeah actually it is christopher robin smoking a
cigarette you know what you should just look it's pretty good christopher robin and and calvin from
calvin hobbs are both smoking cigarette work i guess calvin's those two I guess Calvin's pissing on... Those two smoking.
Calvin's pissing on the ashes of... I guess both of the smoldering mass
must be Pooh and Hobbes,
and then Christopher Robin is smoking a cigarette.
They burned them?
They've torched them.
They've burned them.
It's really like a whole kind of like,
you know, it's this like Calvin and Hobbes,
Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh,
like what is this? Yeah, put away your childish things right like this is adulthood like let's lay it up a fucking cig is it i mean is it clear in the artwork that it's like dipped in fry or
anything like that the cigarette is it just straight up nicotine or they have like formaldehyde
or something you know i will leave that to the viewer to admit you know we should bring it up all right i'm gonna
look at it kevin kevin can you pull that up sure i'd like to look at that the thing that's like
making me actually really sad is if like calvin changed his mind and that's what he's like trying
to pee on the ash to put out put it out nah you just need to look on his face
I wish I didn't do that
look on his face does not say I'm trying to put this out
oh okay he's got that
sort of wicked smirk
Christopher Robbins lighting his cigarette
off of the flame of the skeleton
that's good I did that
but I would love to draw your attention to my
you did that?
no I would like to draw your attention to my... You forgot that you did that? No. I would like to draw your attention to my first piece,
The Olive Garden of Earthly Delights.
Okay.
Like a Bosch.
Yeah, I know.
What it is is...
Actually, you know what?
Some of the shit that's going on here,
I don't want to talk about.
But...
Talk about...
Well, don't talk...
You don't have to talk about all of it.
Yeah.
Is that Biodome?
Biodome.
Okay.
Follow the leader.
It's happening.
Oh, I see what you don't.
Yeah, I get it now.
I don't want to talk about it.
We're going to be talking about it.
9-11 right now.
It's just like that.
We started right into it.
Got right into my DeviantArt page.
Save that content for revisionist history.
But this is what you guys do
you challenge people of course you're uh you know you're a band it's parquet courts they're here and
and that's they're not the whole band they like no but there's four we don't have the whole band
like we're gonna talk about the guys that aren't here so you two are the like you two do podcasts within the band,
and the other guys do most of the music stuff,
but you do the podcast.
Well, we were thinking about picking one of these things up,
and so we've been doing a few of them,
kicking the tires and getting some of those.
We kind of want to do one.
Came to the right place.
We started one.
Good baseline, yeah. We started a podcast like four years ago. we kind of want to do one came to the right place and we started one good baseline yeah
we started a podcast like four years ago yeah turns out it takes more than just like drinking
hard liquor in a room with microphones yeah what was it that got you all to keep doing it after
the first one uh no nothing else nothing nothing else happened but you had to keep being like you
had to like i think where we where we um
failed was that we did it and then at the end of doing it we were kind of like
nobody really mentioned like doing it again like we didn't yeah it wasn't on the it wasn't on an
ical or anything i guess you really have to commit to it yeah i would listen to that honestly that i mean like that means that it's not for you if at
the at the first like taste of it if it didn't like get in your bloodstream and like you didn't
need to like immediately start you didn't catch the bug yeah then then yeah it's not for everyone
bitten by the podcast bug you know it's gotten more and more of us.
I think also our schedule is so wild.
Yeah, but it's not.
It's like it's not about the schedule.
You can make time for it.
It's very easy to make time for it.
You've made time for it.
We're also recording it in the room
where we recorded it.
It was the same room.
It was our studio.
It's where all of our music equipment was. It was our studio. It's like where all of our equipment was.
So it was kind of weird to like,
be like,
all right,
well,
instead of jamming on these new tunes,
it's like,
it's like bringing a big,
a big plate of green beans into the candy shop and going,
oh,
I'm just going to eat.
And it's like,
you're just looking around like,
what am I doing,
man?
You know,
I use football to play
there's sour balls over there yeah right that's right but we can figure out some other shit for
you potentially if like yeah if you're if you're like looking around like obviously like podcasting
doesn't sound like that's like the right direction but like uh elevating some of what you all are doing to the point of
like expand like onto new platforms and things like that just reaching a wider audience i think
with some of what you've already uh kind of honed um we so we have an exciting announcement i guess
uh today which is um hayes and i produced our own original content but we
are finally getting into this streaming game so we're we're we're launching our own platform uh
and we have acquired the rights to some very exciting content specifically a film from 1998 called the faculty i don't know if you guys
remember the faculty but uh it was um you know josh hart had uh cleo duvall sean elijah's in
there john stewart's there um there's you know the legal right stuff you guys will be bored by
this like the aspects of it but we so we've got the rights and we're this is like our big springboard
to launch the new streaming platform um hollywood handbook plus but we don't have access to the
audio we just have we just have the video footage.
Yeah.
And which honestly for me is awesome.
Like watching it,
I was like,
I would love another way.
Everything that's like I'm seeing on screen is working,
but like nothing,
I closed my eyes and I'm like this,
like I can,
we can do better than this.
There's one line read.
I wish we had,
there's obviously the best line read in the entire film and maybe all of all of cinema where uh john stewart notices
that the coach who has become some kind of alien is drinking out of a fish tank and says man coach
is thirsty today that i wish we had that everything else can go everything else can go and we may try to sneak that in actually
but the the soundtrack um you know we can start fresh and we were thinking when we got these
music guys let's get some music let's get some some vo some adr stuff and maybe start
piecing in what's gonna be be there right now. Wow.
So, I mean, you could even just have like a,
like if you got anybody on the street,
you could like walk up to them and be like,
can you just say this really fast or whatever
and record them saying, like,
is there some issue with like,
you can't overdub the exact script or something
or you actually want.
It can't, it can't, it can't match the lips
as part of the
again the contract is going to be boring to you guys but if it if it syncs up with the lip flap
at all even appears to um we're going to be uh we're going to be in jail ddos yeah on the entire
platform what are you you can't be telling people what when they ask what you're in for
you're not going to want to tell them why you're're in no that's not a no they do not take kindly to copyright
violations in there yes no so that's the bottom of the of the barrel in there yeah so we need a
foley guy any of you who love i actually do know who wants to be fully i actually i do okay yeah that was
actually that's what i was thinking as well i've got i i would love my god what i would be honored
to do something like that have like a little kitty like a sandbox with like you know where i can drag
my chains around and shit like that. I love that.
We aren't going to be able to do the sandbox or chains.
It's just going to be whatever is kind of reachable for you right now.
Really what we have is this, and I will make this sound for you now.
Oh, that'll work. I can work with that.
As long as I can get a really high resolution sort of audio file.
So that's going to be the only sound that we
can create other than what you can do with your mouth and hands oh that's not a problem i would
hope not i use my mouth on the tube and have it in my hands can i be using all three instruments
at the same time we don't have the equipment for that shit we just got the one track at a time
but kevin do you want to pull up a clip and these guys and so we can watch the original clip on this
austin i assume you're saving your voice for you know you want us to you want us to ask and we're
gonna ask can you do the dialogue for the film? Yeah, absolutely.
I'd be honored.
How am I supposed to play that instrument that you have?
You didn't mail me one or anything. What you do is, when you're ready for it,
just snap and point to me.
Okay.
You want to practice it once?
Yeah, but how often do I get to do it?
As much as I'd like?
I can probably do it once every
four minutes and it's gonna be at that speed it's really long okay let's scrunch it up there's one
other sound it can make but i don't think it'll get picked up here and which one am i supposed to
be all dialogue all dialogue so you're going to be the speaking parts of the characters yeah yeah and like you
know if you have instruments just like sitting around it would be great to like do some score
this as well in addition to fully and so yeah we need the music for sure if we could just like
watch like see what see what we're working with that's gonna drop out i think we're actually
gonna lose the sorry i thought you pointed at me lose the audio track entirely by the end of the day.
And so we don't have time to play these entire clips, okay?
So just be selective in terms of what we can cover now.
I'm going to play this clip while you guys are getting ready.
Okay.
I don't recognize this surface tissue at all.
Casey, I don't want to blow smoke at your butt here, but I think you found a new species. They're looking at it nasty. Okay.
They're looking at a nasty, like... A nasty hunk of goo.
Ooh, that's where I'd like to hear the sound.
It's when he moves his neck.
Yeah, it should, like should match his neck moving.
Because he sort of shared a look with the gal,
and when you're horny like that,
your bones kind of get a little creaky.
Okay, they spilled water on the nasty thing and it's like moving around and being crazy
yeah yeah yeah i sure am in the forest kevin this clip is like too short it's all right
it's it's not what i was say. It's like pretty freaky.
Pretty good for the two, too.
It's actually scaring the hell out of me.
And there's not a lot of... I guess it's good that there's not a lot of sound
for the podcast audience to enjoy in the clip.
Yeah, that is good because this is going away.
Okay.
I'd hate for them to think like, oh, I want to hear that.
Okay.
So let's get it again.
We're doing dialogue from Austin.
Yes.
And this is how it works.
This is how you score a film.
Austin's doing the dialogue for every character.
Sean is doing fully both and the musical score.
Is that right?
Wow.
Austin's doing music as well.
Austin's doing music as well. Austin's doing music as well.
Great. And so we'll just
jam it out. We'll get it in one take.
And
just let me know when you guys are
ready and I'll
watch. Boys, I'll
count down from three. I won't say
one trick of the trade, but I'll
point to you. Okay?
Okay. And then Jonart's the one don't
point to me mostly right sure yeah it's a lot of jobs so i i would like for the teacher i would do
like deep teacher voice or the boy characters i would do like still kind of deep but a little
higher and for the girl characters child very very girls very high voice really high voice
yeah yeah all right really i have to stress i really think that the tube thing should really
only happen when josh hartnett or whatever moves his neck like that okay great i really can't think
of any other placement for it right now okay this may not be the spot for it. In three, two...
And this is how you impregnate a snail.
Basically, that's just it.
Yeah, that's all there is to it.
You just insert the chicken sperm
into the snail, and it's really
quite fascinating. This will be on the
test.
What does that chicken sperm look like to you?
It's white and blue.
Hmm.
Interesting. And purple?
Yeah, I see some purple in there.
The girls have to be talking more.
Gotta hear from the girls.
Well, you know, I am just one guy.
Okay.
All right, Kevin.
Freeze it.
So, hey, we want to support you, Austin.
So what are you saying you need?
Two runs at it?
Maybe we do just a girl take?
You don't have to do them all at once. We can do a girl track right now. Just like Upright Citizens Brigade? Yeah, we could a girl take. You don't have to do them all at once.
We can do a girl track right now.
Upright Citizens Brigade?
Yeah, we could run girl track.
We wish.
Oh, my God.
Dude, that would be so funny if it were Upright Citizens Brigade.
Oh, my God.
Austin.
Austin, no.
Now I kind of want to do Upright Citizens Brigade.
I'm thinking of doing it.
Well, I mean, feel free to help me out
with one of these six characters that you can dialogue for.
Okay, I'll be the gooey thing.
The gooey thing, all right.
Yeah, I'll be the gooey thing, the monster creature.
We got Teacher locked in,
and so now I think we can get, yeah,
the gooey thing track
and just girls only track for this one okay all right we'll we'll pick up where we left off i
don't think that you did a very good job with the next thing there so i'm not to you know i know
there's a lot going on but you you see what i mean right you hear where it should you see where it
should be i thought i did it when it was.
I thought I did it.
You know what, man?
Maybe you did better than I thought.
I think I'm being a little hard on you.
There can be.
No, no.
Hey, I'm always ready for.
But you know, I'm real creak in that.
I want you to be hard on me in this case.
I'll be ahead of it this time.
And so I'll be the voice of the gooey thing.
And I will also try to get the neck timing closer.
No promises.
And I'd love to hear a little more music as well.
Okay.
All right.
Let's see here.
See if I can pull up for you.
Okay.
This is girls only track in three, two.
Hey, watch it, pal.
At least buy me dinner first, huh, Teach?
Hey, what's everybody looking at over here?
You act like you've never seen a crazy alien species before.
Hey, is your neck okay, buddy?
Why'd it make that noise?
Okay, can we stop it really quick?
I just want to say...
You think the thing's talking too much?
No, I think the thing is talking just enough.
I don't think...
The girls are talking enough?
I don't think the girls are talking enough.
I think sending a message about women in STEM
that we don't want to...
I don't know if your opinion on that
is that they would just be quiet
throughout this whole sequence.
We want them to be speaking a lot.
A lot. i think only one
of them's talking and i missed the cue they're talking seeing this movie they're talking like
sean said certainly seen this clip there are so many people on screen the idea that like one of
the girls isn't talking all the time even just like background like chatter things like that we really want to
background chatter yeah we want to flood the zone with uh with them making observations i think i
might have something to do that if i can you have oh okay i might be able to do something kind of okay interesting okay now sean is now well i see here getting into the
dialogue game that's maybe exciting and it's funny when you don't when you don't fight for your spot
you watch what happens is there are so many other hungry young upstarts and go-hards in this industry
that that want your seat. That's right.
The streaming game, it's cutthroat.
There's a lot of spots, it looks like,
but your spot is always at risk.
That's not going to work.
Okay.
And sometimes the person coming for your spot,
it just doesn't work. No, a lot of sometimes the person coming for your spot, it just doesn't work.
No, a lot of times the reason you got that spot is because the people coming for it just don't have anything to offer.
And the guy who had the original spot just ends up keeping it.
Yeah, just by hanging out.
Happens all the time.
You know, it's like not fucking up can be
better than than trying sometimes yeah there's a name i feel like they have a whole thing for that
right they sure do stuff for it is what i mean yeah i'm gonna go back to my original thing
all right okay we're gonna pick up where we left off girls only track three two
i'm kind of hungry.
Anybody want to get out of here and go get some lunch?
Maybe maybe corn dogs or vegetarian burgers.
This class sucks.
Here's something only 90s kids will understand.
Oh, whoa.
Hey, yo.
Usually somebody buys me dinner first.
Geez. Splashing me with the water
yikes that'll wake you up in the morning and it has awoken me
okay
i've been thinking a lot about what happens after you die lately.
Where you go from here, you know?
I mean, because we're made of energy, right?
It's got to go somewhere.
Okay.
Fill another husk or...
Okay, I'm going to stop it.
I'm going to stop it.
Some really good stuff in there i love the lunch
dialogue the lunch stuff had me rolling yes yes uh i loved the walking riff over to
the to the aquarium man bottle that and sell it That music was really doing something for me.
Yeah, I can't shut it off now.
I mean, yeah.
This is feeling really good and natural.
The music was really powerful and I think brought a new dimension to this footage
that we've been trying to look for
and kind of find like,
what's our take
on the visual elements of the faculty
and that really opened it up
for me and I mean that's what you're going to get
from us for right now but you know
that's just how good we are off the you know
with improvising and shit
it's jazz yeah
like upright citizens brigade that's like
basically upright citizens brigade style shit
yeah ass cap right some I think that Upright Citizens Brigade. That's like basically Upright Citizens Brigade style shit. Yeah, ASCAP.
Right?
I think that...
No, I have nothing to say, actually.
Sorry, go on.
Haze.
We can just take a little break before we are going to do the next clip.
We can just take a break and get to know each other a little bit.
What's the most dangerous sound?
Yeah.
Is there a particular sound that you fear even putting into one of your songs?
Yeah.
Because of how powerfully dangerous it could be?
Gunshots, maybe.
Okay.
Okay.
That was going to be my guess as well.
Dangerous sound.
The devil's cord.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's more what we were hoping to get from
you i was i don't know all these terms you know like elephants they like emit like a low frequency
tone that kills like elephant trainers i'd be afraid but tempted to put that into some of our
song you're talking about the the low frequency sound that elephants can make at any time to kill their
their trainer specifically calibrated to annihilate it stop the heart of an elephant trainer
yeah it's and so many elephant trainers the day they retire say that like as much as they're
going to miss the job the big relief to them is they are no longer vulnerable to the low-frequency elephant sound that could kill them.
And you know what they gave me?
A watch.
All I got was a watch.
Forty years in the elephant enclosure.
Pop quiz, hotshot.
An elephant is standing on, I guess, near you.
And you're going to train it for a very very long time these are all good answers the correct answer was actually uh freedom of speech
freedom of speeches oh okay that's the most dangerous and yet the one that we must most
violently protect it does make sense freedom of speech is the most dangerous thing.
Sound.
The most dangerous sound.
The most dangerous sound is a free populace speaking its mind.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
How loud is that?
I got a free plug-in for that recently.
You got a freedom of speech plug-in?
Yeah. Okay. that well that's
interesting to us it'll get you a parental advisory sticker on on the cover of your album
we court that sort of controversy i think that's just the sort of thing that get more eyes on
hollywood handbook plus if we get embroiled in some kind of controversy that leads to
think pieces.
Some of the greats have been
embroiled in civil rights cases.
Who designed
the...
Yeah, Ginsburg was there.
Who designed that parental advisory logo?
That logo's kind of kick-ass.
Why didn't they make it?
They had to hire a deviant
to stop a deviant you know they've had to have been a meeting where they're like well i mean
we don't want the logo to look like stupid though like because really what they should have done is
made the logo really really stupid like it should be it should the logo was very appealing that's
true yeah the logo is like it has become almost like,
I mean, not that it wouldn't,
no matter what it was,
but like, let's say, for example,
they used like the Lucky Charms Leprechaun
instead of like the rather, you know,
just parental advisory.
If it was a little Leprechaun,
it was like swear words.
Well, just if there was any sort of like color scheme,
just like a soft pastel color scheme
or something for it.
Yeah, it looked like it was in like the same like font and like kind of design Any sort of color scheme, just like a soft pastel color scheme or something for it. Yeah.
It looked like it was in the same font and kind of designed as a pharmaceutical company
logo or something like that.
Yeah.
It wouldn't have the same.
If it was yellow, like Comic Sans on a baby blue background, I feel like it wouldn't have
been.
Like if you put it on a t-shirt, they would sell it at Old Navy, not Hot Topic.
Yes. Yes. That would have been was effective like those life is good guys those fucking guys they should be the this is one guy
you think it's a different guy every time doing that stuff every time there's some time same guy
his life is good that's just that's his life that's just one guy doing different things it's
not like i know sometimes they're no i know that shirts are different but it's just one guy doing different things. It's not like... I know that shirts are different,
but it's the same guy.
That one guy is doing all that?
Yeah, he did all that stuff.
Wow.
Sometimes there's other ones in there too.
It might be I'm thinking of the stick figure family.
Or Salt Life, maybe.
Salt Life.
Salt Life is good.
Collabo.
I don't have the Freedom of Speech
code. I got a Freedom of Speech
printer driver.
Oh, good.
That I'm having.
Yeah.
Shreddable documents.
Yeah.
For very
sensitive documents.
What was your favorite usage
of Freedom of Speech?
Favorite usage
all time?
We could do a top five.
That would be better for me.
It's hard to narrow it down.
I hate to pick.
I guess one would be
when Frances
McDormand was giving her Academy Award speech and said representation and then listed the agents and managers who represented her.
That was a huge one for me.
That was formative.
Because she could have said representation matters,
but instead she just named all the people that...
Her representation.
She was just talking about, yes.
And it was a good reminder
to not assume what the second half of a sentence or an idea is going to be.
And she used her freedom of speech to kind of ring that bell for all of us.
Really hammer home the status quo
what about keep Christ in Christmas
when was that
who said that
just everybody huh
I probably said it at some point
somebody with freedom
we took it out
I guess when Tom Green put his bum bum
on the Sweden that for me was like
swedish yeah no it's the swedish yeah sorry i'm really well they didn't really let you see it that
much and so like no no no i mean they they pulled it right away but but that he got out in front of it and kind of said that that was that was
special for me what about like um hustler magazine i mean revolutionary freedom of speech uh yeah
that was some of the craziest porno i've ever seen so i guess uh yeah that doesn't get much more free than that speech yeah sure some of the porno in that
was so crazy for me that i have to put it on the mount rushmore
of speech freedom so that i agree with. Good pull, Austin.
So far, we have Tom Green putting his bum bum on the Swedish Hustler magazine. Kevin, do you have any submissions for it?
Something to consider at least?
It's less of a pop culture one and more of a personal one.
My doctor recently asked me if I heard about the alec baldwin
controversy and i said yes and he said wow he responded that is that was so bad and so my doctor
my doctor's like opinion on it i feel like yeah that in a medical office that you would have a
right to tell a patient who had not yet weighed in on on where
they stood just like to label it as bad and not fear you know losing your job over that
um that's pretty cool that's to me that's pretty fucking cool bold it was awesome yeah i mean look
i don't think that they should have gotten so mad at him for using his iPad on the airplane.
Okay, that's not what that was about.
Are you sure?
Yeah, that was about he shot someone with a gun that had nothing to do with using his iPad on the airplane.
You think that's what they were so mad at him for?
They were mad at it.
Well, this isn't really fair, Hayes.
They were mad at that.
And it was words with friends, so it's definitely under freedom of speech.
And then it turned out.
Okay.
That's what freedom of speech is, right?
It's just words with friends.
Yeah.
Yeah, but that was also, I mean, that was like in 2010.
I know.
That's why it's like...
We're allowed to go back as far as we want.
It's crazy.
The doctor is still hung up on it, honestly.
Kevin, you think your doctor was actually talking about
when Alec Baldwin got kicked off of an American Airlines flight
for using his iPad?
I should have clarified.
You want to go back to the doctor and find out.
Yeah, because that's what I assumed as well.
Have you not been to the doctor in 10 years?
He wasn't that specific, I guess.
He was like, did you hear about that Alec Baldwin controversy?
That was so bad.
It's pretty tough stuff, though, you have to admit.
Hollywood Handbook.
This week on The Pro Version, the boys work on page three for the script Barbara Bush.
And then, Kevin, go ahead.
Mike says, what the fuck is this?
Greg says, your pay okay for me i love that
we're letting everybody know it's a little edgy we can curse yeah i don't need all the other noise
around it why doesn't mike just go fuck we can well i like. I think we can pluck it, like, plus just that a little bit.
What if it's just like, Mike, fuck a suck.
Check out the pro version of The Flagrant Ones, Carl Calls His Cousin,
and the video for today's episode with Sean and Austin of Parquet Courts
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Hollywood Handbook. austin of parquet courts at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones hollywood handbook be a better you
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Now, this is different, Kevin.
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The promises the meal makes a sleepy.
You've been pushing that so much.
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Yeah.
Your bed plus one.
That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do.
It's supposed to help you stay a lot of these.
I know give you a ton of energy.
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This is wrong.
Reservation for two, me walking in my bedroom.
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It's you in your bed?
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The subscriptions are insidious. They're the scourge of our modern life. And you never realize
what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged. I know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from
the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me
by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think also got an end point by like dress 14 15 i think
it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they
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And that was, I mean, just to be fully transparent,
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cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's
rocketmoney.com slash the boys to rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys well i have four more clips maybe we can
watch one more okay we're gonna do one more clip kevin please pick up like a really good one this
time that time honestly there were way too many characters. Austin got really overwhelmed.
I feel like that wasn't entirely my fault
because you're asking me to make voices for people
that weren't moving their mouth.
Austin, we're blaming Kevin right now.
We're arguing in agreement.
And it is an ensemble cast, obviously,
but maybe we can bring him into this a little more
gently so for this next one would you like one that's a little more fully and less dialogue or
one a lot of one that's like hard foley would be great okay great could maybe has space for
has capacity to be very fully intensive great i guess I guess I should be like, you know, the thing, maybe I should crinkle
some paper.
Okay, well, let's see what the clip is first
and, like, see if there's opportunity to, like,
crinkle paper in this. Yeah, if that even makes
any fucking sense. I mean, you gotta
see how good I can make this paper
really sing. Okay,
here's the clip.
It's the very beginning of the movie.
Hmm, would this have made a good first clip?
The beginning of the movie.
Okay.
We are...
We're going to want music that's much more intense than this.
We are going to need the car sounds, the car driving up.
We're going to need the vocals of the guy driving the car the car can
sound like paper the guy driving should be talking a lot about how fast he's going and yeah out of my
way and stuff maybe what he's late for so let's just let's just get this i love this this is josh hartnett driving up to school we need car sound foley uh-huh tires engine like
the whole deal you use your mouth or i guess like the paper if you're that good with the paper that
maybe i'm really good at it okay nicotine okay i'm gonna do sean okay i'll do um some music
sean you can do the paper and then maybe we
can have a little dialogue.
We should do a little dialogue.
Maybe one of you is the voice of the car
and one of you is the voice of the driver.
One of you has to be the car. Let's decide who's who.
You go first.
That's not what we're deciding.
Who goes first and who goes second we're deciding
who who is playing each character well the i'll be i can be the voice of the car that was my
instinct as well but i want is there are there any other people uh human people we will do a
girls only we'll do a girls only track after this for like them watching him drive up yeah
but like for right now that should be
pretty straightforward and then
there's a car
all right so I'll
be
the hooping dooping
car
okay
okay just the car I think just the
car is fine just being the car
honestly for me just being the car would be great yeah i'm happy you said that before we started
because i didn't want to waste a run at it let's have you just be the car and then yeah and then
if we have we get one maybe where you're yeah yeah maybe there's time you don't need any drums
or anything just go just do the car.
Yeah, I got you.
I get it.
Do you have drums?
He was just playing like a little drum track.
Oh, okay.
You know what I have right next to me?
I think that would be really good.
What's that?
Some whipped cream?
Oh, yeah.
Here we go.
Oh, yeah.
I need this guitar.
Yes, that'd be great.
That's the instrument for a really fast car yeah that's
pretty good all right in three two
the car should be talking a lot oh i'm sorry you're right let's get it again the car should
be talking so much the car the car should be talking so much the car should be saying a lot
this is the time and even the driver
is probably going to be talking about
so I can be making
the car sounds and the driver sounds
I may be wrong
I think the car is talking to the driver
yeah you're right
Austin is the driver
I get it
alright this is take two.
In three, two...
I don't have to take this abuse much longer.
Hey, your
head's bleeding. First aid there.
Oh, Murray, you
start the chum line again, will you?
I had Hooper take a turn.
Hooper drives the boat, chief.
Stop playing with yourself, Hooper.
Slow ahead, if you please.
You heard him.
Slow ahead.
Slow ahead.
I can go slow ahead.
Come on.
Come on and chump some of this shit.
You're going to need a bigger boat.
Wait.
Shut up that engine.
Okay.
And cut.
That's 25.
Okay.
That was pretty good.
I will say that.
Parts of it were definitely good.
Yeah.
I cut it as I whether it pretty good. Parts of it were definitely good. I got it as I whether it's good.
It sounded like you were maybe
both being the car.
And this is why I did want to figure out
what I was confused by is one of you saying
something and the other saying you heard him.
Yeah.
Because there are only two characters. So I don't know who you was right and i guess i was
coming to it with my own baggage sometimes you just have to like i don't know i guess we could
if you really wanted to do it this right now hayes we could kind of like break down like
the background of like the characters and how they got to where they're at
to me it seems like i I'd love to hear actually.
Yes.
I'd love to do that.
I'd love to hear what you were thinking.
Yeah.
I mean,
that car,
I mean,
the car is clearly running on a full tank of gas right now.
I mean,
it's just like,
I'm sort of thinking of it as like,
it's not such,
it's like so important to like get into like,
yeah,
like who exactly,
like who are,
who are we talking about?
Like,
uh,
you heard,
like you heard him.
It's like, I don't know there's something
almost like
you ever just say that kind of shit
to your car when you're driving around
well I noticed they were talking about Hooper
a lot yeah that was
something that also that's what they
call oh no I thought that was the name of the
school
the school is not called Hooper
I don't think or is that oh wait that they did show i
mean we we're we're locked in we're locked yes and we're locked into the visuals that yeah kevin
go back a little bit because they do show the name of the school and i think it's going to bump on
people if if people are calling everyone's referring to the school harrington high
if characters are are calling the school hooper when we just saw
harrington i would be okay with a a three or four minute dialogue scene where the
kids established that they all have a nickname for their own high school which is hooper
hooper yeah that that maybe and maybe that could be the classroom scene where i still feel like
we didn't really need the dialogue um that they could be talking about how like isn't it you know what where did why did we all start
calling the school hooper and then like you know there's some backstory that that but even that
that would come after this so i think still in this scene even this i don't think really works
the way it was being used it didn't sound like they were talking to the school no it sounded like they were talking about a guy or yeah and made the school to me is
so clear the school is like so clearly eating these people right now yeah the school is well
the school is an alien as well and so like that but that's for the end that's when you realize
that the school is
like eating everyone the whole school is a hornet's nest does it become a relevant that
is the hornet thing kind of like a symbolism i don't think so i i mean i guess we can we can do
that too like we can do we can lay that in later we have a bunch of shit to fill in we've got nothing right now yeah or net horn
or net you want to break it up do the other guys in the band do you think like they like
do we swap out would they be more helpful on any side of it like either doing some of the music
or foley that matches up or doing dialogue that where
they're not saying hooper as much as you guys seem to want to do i mean i tell you what you
can call them but i'm pretty answer they're pretty into hooper they're also gonna be doing that
they're gonna be locked on that wow should we just try it again i mean i feel like yeah at first like this was such a lucky
like that we had secured the rights to this on the same day that we had this like pretty cool
band on right that the stars had aligned and i'm finding that we're set so far back from where we
started we're like i don't think i even know if i want to do this anymore yeah well i have to say i mean it's a little unfair i mean
that's a lot of pressure to put on because you know it's like you invited us over and we're
happy to come over we love hanging out but like we didn't know that nice we we love you yeah
but like i don't want you to think i love you how are we to know that we were gonna let's talk about
let's do the car we're not gonna do yeah you don't have to
do upright citizens brigade you know what i mean just maybe the car is the car let's give you a
little guidance okay maybe the car is like a a polite british computer who's saying like
you know
I've got it
he's got it
let's go Kevin
he's got it
and
if I could get back in my human body I'd give you
such a stinking right now I tell you what
unbelievable
I used to be your real life human human father, and now I'm stuck being
your car forever.
God damn it.
Oh, well, we're gonna
need a bigger boat.
Don't just be fooling around
with my trunk. Put that back, son.
Just because I'm your dad
inside a car now,
don't walk away from me.
Man, my hair feels weird all pasted to my head
okay that's okay okay cut so much of that was really working i really got sean
buddy hello when wait when did the car show up and sean left that was incredible the story that
you i think that it was like it took me a
minute but i get now i think it just took me a little while to feel like i could really stretch
out in the space but i feel welcome now so funny because i had said polite british that car was not
polite was not british and yet you found the note behind the note which was it should be the kid's dad who's who's pissed at now a car
and he's kind of stirred and he wants to give his son a spanking yeah right and and then his son
grabbed something out of his ass and right now i know so much about both of them yeah right like
knowing okay your dad was turned into a car traumatic he wants
to give you a spanking history of abuse and so that's going to justify some of the behavior we
see for for josh moving forward which is he's a really bright kid yeah but he's going down a dark
path also i mean like stressful for the car that his son keeps now in multiple scenes keeps referring
to it as a boat uh that there's like this disconnect of like he doesn't even seem to
know what a car is that would be really discouraging if you were a car and your son
was calling you a boat it's like like, where do you even start?
Yeah, well, you know,
I'm not convinced he's calling the car a boat.
It feels more like a metaphor.
Well, let's talk about what you are doing then
because we have addressed some of Sean's stuff.
And I think in fairness,
so I'm also not convinced he's calling the car a boat uh i'm not convinced that what you're saying
has anything to do with what we're watching at all the only thing that was working honestly
your your sweet spot is the girls only track and that's what we figured out the stuff about lunch
transported me that lunch was really good.
Yes. You live on
the girls only track.
We found it.
To know that this early is like
that's going to save us so much time.
Yeah.
I'm just glad to know I have a place.
There's a lot of
really interesting
opportunities.
I got puns that you can imagine like Josh Hartner could say something like
like give me a break
dad or whatever you know like break a car
but dad like you're my dad and you're a car
and break a car yeah
give me a break dad
whatever you say
you old airbag
whatever you say you putz
yeah yeah shut up bro I'm gonna put like uh you know
regular gasoline in your tank right okay and that's that or i guess he they kind of sound
alike but that's okay so yeah josh hartnett's now sounding like that makes he says give me a break
dad yeah well yeah it's like genetic that voice i know i've given you a hard time kid
but i've been burning rubber for a lot longer than you you're gonna be a car like me someday too
oh so he is gonna be a car as well he will be a car he'll become a car that's like it's like
teen wolf it's like a family curse that at a certain age you turn into a car yeah probably
like yeah around 50 50 i think feels about right when you're 50 you're gonna be a car yeah probably like yeah around 50 50 i think it feels a bit right when you're 50 you're
gonna be a car it feels right so you guys are going to mardi gras is that what's up
what's that what are we sipping on oh this is just water here too big well i think it's the angle
it is a lot of this stuff no it's not the angle dude that's actually numbers
on the side indicating the thickness it's just exactly the angles that i can see the number
i put those numbers on there they're different they're from something else you put fake numbers
from something else on a small water container to make it seem big yeah actually i did and i'll tell you why can i get out of those
yeah actually this is honest to god just remind me of a crazy idea i had last night
for a reality like a reality show kind of thing called uh leisure leisure demand now dog maybe
is what it's called and it's that's the name of it yeah yeah it's a house
house full of magicians who are like competing to be i guess the best magician but they're
the whole thing is they're kind of like fucking with each other with magic tricks the whole time
oh like they're always like kind of like the drama man now dog yeah yeah, that could work.
Like these magicians.
It's like a lot,
you know,
you get like a Chris Angel type.
You have like a,
uh,
like a,
like a David Blaine type,
you know,
like,
yeah.
Whoa.
Hollywood Hamburg.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.