Hollywood Handbook - Sasheer Zamata, Our Fyre Fest Friend
Episode Date: February 18, 2019The Boys and SASHEER ZAMATA premiere their own Fyre Fest documentary.This episode is sponsored by Robinhood ( www.handbook.robinhood.com ), Harry's ( www.harrys.com/HANDBOOK ), and Quip ( www....getquip.com/THEBOYS ).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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this is a head gum podcast
so i am standing there on the field with uh cheddar uh bob yes famous for i think I think cucking? No, no, no, no.
No?
No.
I didn't want to ask about it.
You believe that he cucked B-Rabbit?
Yes.
No, not the case.
CheddarBob shot himself in the leg.
He had a gun tucked into his waistband that went off accidentally.
Okay, I'm picturing the right person, but I thought he was the one who...
No, that was one of the members of the Free World.
Oh, okay.
Not Lotto.
Not Papa Doc.
It's in the song.
Not Lickety Split.
And yeah, Blank did...
Yeah.
Did fuck my girl.
Anyway, we're playing...
Well, it doesn't matter.
We're not going to get to the bottom of this.
There's all these new football... not gonna get to the bottom of this there's all these new football
leagues
yes
yes
we are
we got assigned
to play in this new football
no
and then what position
it's baseball football
so I am
the
second
base
I am the second base.
Oh, wow.
And they have to catch the football and...
Yes, but it's like...
And they have to run to the base,
but the base can run away.
Ah, oh, wow.
Why didn't we ever do it that way?
Because one thing when I am watching
baseball and they catch the base,
it seems a little easy.
Because the base literally is doing nothing.
Not allowed to do anything.
No.
That is so smart.
It has to get smushed all the time.
So you're running away.
Yes, I'm running away.
You can leave.
You can go anywhere.
Yeah.
Did you actually just leave the entire game?
Yes.
I'm still playing.
You're supposed to be there?
I'm playing right now
oh so anyone could run in cheddar bob could come bursting in the door and stomp on you come smush
me yeah all right well we'll see hey welcome to hollywood handbook and insider's guide to
kicking butt and dropping names on this red carpet line back hallways of this industry we call show
biz and only one of my ear side of my earphones working, and I don't like the way it sounds.
That, I couldn't believe how well, how good a job you were doing in the beginning part.
Considering?
Yes.
And I hope people listen back and say, like, wow, that's amazing.
And Sean was talking like it was totally normal.
And Sasheer, don't you agree that he was doing a really good job?
Wait, wait, Sasheer?
What the heck?
Rewind it.
I think I heard him say Sasheer. I'm here, too. Yeah, wait, it's Shashir? Hi, oh, hi, back. Rewind it. I think I heard him say Shashir. I'm
here, too. Yeah, my headphones work.
Congratulations.
I wish I knew what that felt like.
Welcome to being on the show.
Thank you. Welcome to LA,
can I just say? Thank you so much.
It's really that you are
happening here now. Yeah, I'm glad
to be here. I've been gifted a lot of crystals already.
I feel very LA.
Okay, and just run me through some of the minerals that are in these crystals.
Got rose quartz.
Ooh, yes, that's happiness.
Ptolemy, maybe?
Okay, tourmaline, yeah.
I don't know what that does, but I think it makes you sad
when the rose quartz is too powerful.
Right, right, right, it brings you down.
I need to even it out. I can't remember the other ones, but they all look too powerful. Right, right, right. It brings you down. I need to even it out.
I can't remember the other ones, but they all look very pretty.
Tourmaline, yes.
And a lot of times, for people who don't know, when you're in LA,
you need to lay your crystals on top of the different scripts,
and that is a way to choose which project when you are offer only, correct?
I wish.
What's your birthday stone? Emerald, which correct? I wish. What's your birthday stone?
Emerald, which I don't love.
Don't love it?
Why?
I don't love it.
Too green?
I guess it's too green.
Yeah, it's just like, I don't know.
Well, don't say too green.
Mine's green.
Peridot.
Can you picture it?
That was close.
I can't, actually.
It's a little bit of a muted green.
Okay.
Hayes, talk about your birthday stone.
My birthday stone is Micah.
Ah, yes.
Which I got.
I took a trip to Alaska, and we went panning for our birthday stones, and I found mine.
Oh, congratulations.
It's for my birthday.
Was there another point to the trip, or was that it?
No, it was to go find a birthday stone for me.
Cool.
I didn't have one.
You know, Chef Kevin's birthday stone is fool's gold.
So that is, I think, what Micah is.
Fitting, huh?
No.
Yeah.
Micah's different.
Oh, okay.
Hi, Brett.
Hey. So, okay. Hi, Brett. Hey.
So, I didn't ask.
Here's what we were going to do today.
Kevin has been telling us, we want to do, so we're getting close to the month where we try really hard on this show.
Yeah, we have one coming up where we've promised the fans that we're going to try really hard.
We've been on cruise control from day one.
And we've seen what that gets us. And this is not
one of those episodes.
This is not a trying
episode. Sure.
Is it, Kevin? Hey guys, Chef Kevin
here. Not yet. But it's
kind of a bridge to
when we are trying really hard.
Yes. Okay.
And so we're playing with concepts that people will get really excited about It's kind of a bridge to when we are trying really hard. Yes. Okay? Okay.
And so we're playing with concepts that people will get really excited about
and tell our friends, and they listen to the show.
Have you told your friends to listen to the show?
I know you haven't heard it personally.
Yeah.
Yeah, I forgot I was doing this until this morning.
Sure, yeah, yes.
And we can tell a little bit by the time you arrive.
What reminded you?
My alarm.
So you would have woken up otherwise.
I don't usually get up this early, and I know it's not that early, but I just don't.
Were you getting shwasty face last night?
Was that part of the issue?
Not even.
Did you get twisted?
No.
I just get so tired.
That makes one of us sad.
You drank that much
and you didn't even get
shwasty face.
Damn.
That's insane
not to get shwasted off that.
So we are going to do
an idea that's very big,
very hot.
Obviously,
Hayes and I know
what's next.
Things are going well so far, I can see.
Something went wrong. The screen says
something went wrong.
Okay, and now we're pulling up.
Now it's displayer.
I'm going to read the error code so people at home
can follow along. It's
S736312604844350.
Go ahead and email Chef Kevin.
Please report the error code to Chef Kevin.
How to fix the error code.
But why is Chef Kevin pulling up a screen?
Well, I guess it's because we're actually doing something that's very now, that's very hot.
And it's actually the hottest thing in the world, which is fire.
We're doing a Fyre Fest documentary.
And this, especially I think by the time this episode comes out, will be the kind of thing that really everyone is talking about.
Oh, yes.
Absolute bleeding edge of the culture.
It's been sort of percolating under the surface that somebody might do a Fyre Fest documentary.
And we're going to be, if not first, best.
Have you seen these things?
I've seen part of the Netflix one.
Yes, that's huge because I have not seen either of them.
Okay.
I've seen part of the Netflix one.
Great.
But we thought, who do we get for something like this?
And we have to get to Shear because my understanding is you have been to Bumbershoot before?
Yeah, love Bumbershoot.
Aha.
Huge Bumberhead.
Busted.
You are sort of the signature Bumberhead.
I am, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Talk about bumper shoot.
Bumper shoot is more about love than music or drugs or anything like that.
You get high on energy.
And drugs.
And drugs, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Drugs are definitely involved, but they don't advertise that.
So you kind of just get there into a field,
a lot of spinning around in circles until you get dizzy,
and that gets you high.
Dizzy bats.
You do dizzy bats?
We do dizzy bats.
Oh, no.
Yeah, but it's really fun.
That plus the drugs, I imagine.
Plus the drugs.
Forget it.
Gets you very high.
Is this something?
Kennedy Bumbershoot.
What's that?
Kennedy Bumbershoot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The owner?
Kennedy.
Oh, because you're switching. Is that something? Yes, the owner of Bumbershoot. The owner Kennedy Bumbershoot. Yeah, yeah, the owner. Kennedy, because you're switching.
Is that something?
Yes, the owner of Bumbershoot.
The owner of Bumbershoot.
So, well, Kevin, do you want us to do dizzy bets or something
while you try to get the...
I noticed Kevin has tried to turn on iCloud photos,
which I don't see how that is going to help us at this point.
Although Kevin going through his personal photo collection on his phone is a good idea for an episode that's maybe a better episode than fire fest kevin do we want to have no sort of describe
your photos let's stick with what is your plan kevin's whole plan we are gonna do a fire fest
documentary and it sounds good sounds like it could be a famous episode, but I do worry about the execution.
None of us really knew what to do, and Kevin seemed confident enough
that we are letting Sasheer find out in real time.
Well, I was thinking we could play a clip,
and then you guys could talk about your version of it.
So we are talking heads in the documentary?
Yes. So you're playing heads in the documentary? Yes.
So you're playing a clip of a real talking head,
and then you're sort of stitching us in afterwards
as also being talking heads.
Yes, and if you could spend as much time as possible
during that talking head segment
and talking about your experiences with it,
and then maybe Brett could help out
with some of the music of it
and maybe there are some other
bands that we didn't know about that
played at the festival. When you say
some of the music of it, you mean like the music that
would be scoring the documentary?
I asked the exact same thing. I couldn't get an answer.
Both.
He wouldn't tell you.
Both scoring the documentary
and the bands that played at the actual
festival. Wow, that's a lot.
And that's not a part of any of the
documentaries. And how does
iCloud Photos play into this?
I didn't
know that was popping up.
It looks like Airplay doesn't work
so you guys are just going to listen to the clips
which is great. That's so
good. That's fine, yeah. I did not need to see it okay cool and and when i'm listening to the clips will there be
one single clip of a band from the festival playing in the documentary because that's not
part of it right no that's what we're gonna be adding okay so we probably are just gonna be like
stealing their clips to make our own documentary. And we're releasing this documentary. That's right.
This is the premiere of it.
On what platform?
Apple Podcast.
Okay.
Not Stitcher.
And Stitcher.
And Stitcher.
All podcast platforms.
Have you pitched Stitcher yet since you've been out here this year?
It's a real rite of passage for all LA transplants.
You must pitch them a podcast. All right, yeah. you've been out here this year? It's a real rite of passage for all LA transplants.
You must pitch them a podcast.
All right, yeah.
Behind the paywall only.
That's where the fans are.
The real fans who care.
This one, unfortunately, would be in front of the paywall.
They never come out from behind the paywall.
They live in there at this point.
What other podcasts have you been on?
It's like their grandma's basement.
I just did Off Book.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
That was fun.
Did they talk about the episode we did?
Listening.
No.
They didn't mention it?
You sure?
Were you maybe not paying attention?
Oh, yeah.
They were like, I hope it doesn't happen like that episode.
Wait, no way.
Okay, yeah.
So not sustainable.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, I think that actually hurt their next several episodes, how well ours went.
Oh, that's a good impression I got.
Okay, yeah, that's nice of them to make you feel better about it.
Did you have a singing time on there?
Yeah, it was fun.
I do improv and I sing, but I rarely the 20 have met in my life.
But then people will be like, well, you do both, so you can.
Yeah.
And then I do all right.
Okay, you can do it on this one, too.
We have a guitar, and Kevin apparently wants all these songs on there.
This is Bosh.
This is my dog, Bosh.
He is a bit hungry for pets this morning.
Yeah, he's feeling a little lonesome.
Well, you know, it's been raining so much that he's been cooped up.
And you won't pet him when it rains.
No, he's too sticky.
He too sticky?
He's stinky.
He gets the wetness.
He gets sticky.
Oh, yeah.
Let's face it.
He gets into just about anything.
What other shows?
I don't know.
What other shows have I done't know. What other shows have
they done?
Damn, it's been a
whirlwind, huh?
It's funny because
everyone's like, you're
going to be on every
podcast.
It's been pretty chill,
honestly.
I think people don't
know I'm here, and
that's fine.
If this is the second
one you're doing, they
don't know.
Yes.
Scott, we're sort of
like the farm leagues for Comedy Bang Bang,
and Scott will listen to this.
Yeah, you have a good episode.
And he will call you up.
He'll call your number.
Yeah, it's already happening.
All right, Kevin, what's this thing?
And again, this is a bridge episode to us doing a good job.
This feels like the beginning of the bridge?
Yes.
We are just cresting the bridge.
We're actually watching the bridge lower
so that we can cross it,
which is a great spot to be in.
It can be pretty fun.
Just those big machines.
All right, people.
So we ran into a little issue today.
Cut, cut, cut.
Talk to me.
Okay.
Start one more time. Ran into a little issue today. Cut, cut, cut. Talk to me. Okay. Okay, start one more time.
Ran into a little issue today.
No, no, start from me.
There was no, like, this is the story we want to tell, this is what we want to capture.
There was just capture everything.
We need genuine shots. We need genuine people interacting, having a good time.
I need a wide yacht shot.
We have to do the cave underwater. We need the boats and a flying V formation.
Can we tell Herbie to have a big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big bonfire tomorrow night?
Like a huge bonfire.
Grant was a neurotic person.
He was a smart dude.
He was just overwhelmed.
I'm our chief marketing officer.
I'm our chief marketing officer.
I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist, but everything needs to be perfect, you know?
I mean, it was like a job of five people, and he had no experience in doing music festivals,
no experience in doing events, but he did work hard.
So I know Billy wants to go see the pigs, and this is the only way to make it work.
We can't shoot it.
There's a long clip, man.
Dude, what are we thinking about the length of the clips?
Do we want them to be about seven, eight minutes long?
I thought you guys were going to jump in at any point.
Oh, really?
We're supposed to talk over the clips?
Well, I would have turned it down.
No, Kevin, no.
Okay.
Play the clip.
Because now we've zoomed by like 15 things that we could have done like half a thing about.
And we can edit it down when
we're when you're submitting the actual documentary you can cut the in-between parts
so you want us to do commentary on our experience at the fire festival there is a certain amount of
vocal fry that i think i'll let you have to do when you're talking about the festival i'm not
yeah uh so you want us, based on the clip,
which is mostly commentary,
what was the idea
of picking that clip specifically?
I just want to know
what goes into this for you.
Maybe you guys helped
with the photo shoot
with the pigs.
Wait, I got one line for it.
I'm not saying I'm a chocoholic,
but everything has to be
made out of chocolate.
That's my joke on his perfectionist thing.
Do you like it, Kevin?
That's great.
I can use that.
I'll use that a couple times.
Look, I'm not saying I'm a chocoholic, but there better be a lot of chocolate.
Everything better be made out of it.
Everything at the festival?
Everything at the festival better be made out of chocolate.
And that's why it wasn't sustainable because it just melted.
Oh, yeah. Well, don't
do that on a warm island. Do that in
like Antarctica or something.
Yeah. Put it in Alaska where he's finding
birthstone. Mm-hmm. Think
about that. Mm-hmm. Plus all the
fire. Everyone can be part of the festival. Everyone finds their
birthstone. Chocolate and fire, no
thank you. They hate
each other. Unless it's a s'more.
You know? But that is mostly the chocolate is not touching the fire.
I have been through this before, which is creating an entire s'more and then doing the fire.
If you put the chocolate on the stick and put it in the fire, you're going to be let down by the s'more.
So I'm glad you brought it up, Sasheer.
Don't be embarrassed because I think that that actually is really helpful to people.
We've all tried to put together a full s'more inside the flame.
And it's just not a great idea.
Now I'm realizing that's a huge mess.
The chocolate will melt onto the fire.
Primarily the marshmallow is the only thing that gets into the fire.
And part of the stick.
You kind of want to hover it. The stick, yeah. Sometimes part of the stick. You kind of want to hover it.
The stick, yeah.
Sometimes part of the stick.
The graham cracker probably would just burn.
I think it would.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, I think it would.
Okay, Kevin.
Oh, Ginuwine.
So is this from the festival
or is this just for the documentary?
Yeah, well, he mentions Ginuwine a lot. And this is the festival or is this just for the documentary? Yeah, well, he mentions Genuine a lot.
And this is the kind of vocal fry that they do have when they talk.
How are you playing this on the guitar?
What can I say, man?
Very talented.
That's all we have for this.
I forget what was happening in the clip.
They said big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big bonfire, like huge bonfire.
Okay.
I did see this part of the documentary.
Yeah.
Okay.
This was when they were creating the.
Secret weapon.
I have the inside scoop.
This is when they were creating the promo video for Fyre Fest that would get everyone excited about it.
And it had, like, huge models in it.
And, like, in boats.
And it just looked like a music video, basically.
And they never really explained how they got those models.
That part I was always like, why is Bella Hadid here?
Like, why is Kendall Jenner here?
Why are any of these people here?
Did he lie?
Did they get paid? What Ja Rule is there?ner here? Why are any of these people here? What did he, did he lie?
Did they get paid?
Well, Ja Rule is there.
I guess, I mean, even that's still like a, why are they friends? You don't think Ja Rule's friends with Kendall Jenner?
No, I did not.
I never would have assumed.
It's possible, but.
It's quite likely.
Have you seen the video?
And when you're at a certain echelon, you know, up in the freaking ozone layer, in the stratosphere, you just all start to know each other.
Yeah, but Ja Rule, I would say he used to be in the stratosphere.
But he's like, he's still recognizable.
We still know his name.
He's definitely in the skies, though.
He's in the sky.
Yes.
But not where these supermodels are.
Okay.
We don't typically get into huge fights on this show.
That's not fun for anyone.
But we also don't necessarily have people come in saying the wildest shit I've ever heard,
which is that Ja Rule is not currently today an A-list megastar who Bella Hadid and Kendall Jenner would be lucky to be on a boat with in a promo video for a fake music festival.
Maybe I'm out of touch.
I don't know.
I thought – I just haven't heard any recent music from him.
Maybe.
And let's leave it at that.
And let's leave it at that and let's leave it at that so i
we can do a little commentary on like so they uh so we had to go work on the big big bonfire but
of course first we had to create the big big s'more uh to make the marshmallow inside a keg.
You mix sugar and wheat and milk
and seal up the keg and let it dry.
But of course, we had to pour out all the beer
and the keg...
Grant didn't know anything about marshmallows.
So that set us back a full two days.
Basically, when he put the marshmallow stuff inside the keg of beer,
there was still beer in there.
And I'm not sure if those were the ingredients.
That beer's made of wheat.
That was an important marshmallow ingredient.
So the keg ended up exploding.
I don't know what he did to it. Wheat
and sugar and beer should not
have done that, but Grant had
fourth degree burns all over his abdomen
and we
spent quite a bit of time just
in the first aid tent trying to
calm him down.
We also attracted a lot of animals
on the beach because now there's just poop
in the sand and that's hard to get out.
You can't sweep it. It just like
is in there and I guess it has to dry
and just let nature take
its course. That was a misunderstanding.
I had ordered
like many shipments of animal crackers
to create the big crab cracker
but we did end up getting actual animals
instead.
Yeah, they didn't seem like island animals to me,
which was strange.
They were circus animals.
And the, like, abused kind.
Not, like, these weren't, like, fresh, hot circus animals.
They were, like, sad.
They'd been whipped in.
Semi-retired.
Yeah.
Really slow elephants. They were circus animals. Semi-retired. Yeah. Really slow elephants.
They were circus animals that the circus did not currently need.
They did not feel whips anymore.
Anyway, they got tangled up in the marshmallow pretty good.
And at that point, we considered not even doing the video or the festival.
considered not even doing the video or the festival.
But out of
respect to the animals, we decided
it would be, where I didn't go
forward so their sacrifice wouldn't be
in vain. And they didn't
die, but they were just tied up.
If you've ever seen an elephant trapped
in marshmallow
and sand,
unable to even lift his truck,
tied up so good,
you know that the only right thing to do is a fake festival.
We had a pound plus bar from Trader Joe's, the chocolate bar,
and I did hold that up against the elephant tied in the marshmallow
and hoped that that was a sport.
It wasn't.
Okay, Kevin, you got another clip.
I flew here with Billy just for a holiday.
And now this is ballooned into a full production team of dolls and cameras.
There was this crazy pilot Keith.
Pause, pause, pause.
What's funny about this clip to you, Kevin, that people have accents?
No.
Is that what you thought was funny about this clip?
And places that are not.
Ah, that we live in a great big world where not everyone sounds like Chef Kevin.
Kevin's America.
The burger from Chicago.
No, no.
The clip's about to happen with Keith the pilot.
It's about to happen.
I didn't know how we do it. As we're about to take off, he's like, yeah, I bought this plane six about time. I didn't know how we'd do it.
As we're about to take off, he's like,
yeah, I bought this plane six months ago.
I just got my license.
I ended up teaching myself,
and you can use Microsoft Flight Simulator.
Microsoft Flight Simulator has lessons,
and it's excellent.
Once we were in the arrows,
what are we going to do, you know?
He was pulling off the end of the runway
and just going straight up into the thing
and then killing the engine.
You know, whenever I'm with Philly,
I have to do
at least three zero Gs.
Billy and John made their famous toast.
So,
maybe something about the famous toast?
Mm-hmm.
The famous toast.
Yeah. Okay. Do we have to come up with
a famous toast?
I guess, to me, I just don't understand how you with a famous toast? I guess to me the most...
I just don't understand how you do a famous version of it.
It's so...
To me the most famous toast is probably s'mores.
You know?
That's a good point.
Because that's the only...
That's the last time we truly innovated on the concept of toasting something.
Famous toaster.
Brave little toaster.
Brave little toaster is definitely the...
Most famous. Brave little toaster. Brave little toaster. Brave little toaster is definitely the most famous.
It's Brave little toaster.
Brave little toaster.
Almost definitely the most famous toaster,
except maybe the one in the beginning of Back to the Future
from The Breakfast Machine.
Okay.
That was a huge movie.
If you think about it, how many people saw the toaster for the breakfast machine compared to the Brave Little Toaster?
But the movie's named after the Brave Little Toaster.
And even if you haven't seen...
It's about eyeballs.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, I mean, the eyeballs help.
Yeah.
And Brave Little Toaster does help them. Oh, I thought even the eyeballs help. Yeah, and Brayville does have them.
Oh, I thought even the eyeballs on the toaster.
So, okay.
I have to
play mediator for a moment.
Because this again is getting heated.
And this is normally not a
confrontational show. A lot of times it's just us
kind of like being friendly and having
fun with people.
But sometimes you find someone who has to poke the hornet's nest, who is addicted to controversy.
And I think that's the situation we're in now.
So, all right, I'm not going to fight about whether Back to the Future was more successful than Brave Little Toaster. That seems like something that, you know, that's a battle to be fought in the press later on.
So, wait, should we just do some commentary?
Yes.
Okay.
So I, of course, have learned from a Microsoft program how to sweep mines.
And, of course, the festival was happening on an island
that had a lot of mines buried in the sand
from the Korean War.
But I used a technique that I learned from Microsoft
where you dig a little hole in the sand
and there is a number under there
that tells you how far away the mines are.
It's me.
Chef Kevin thinks it's so funny the way that I talk
because I don't talk like Chef Kevin and so I should be laughed at. Right. Chef Kevin thinks it's so funny the way that I talk because I don't talk like Chef Kevin.
And so I should be laughed at.
Right, Chef Kevin?
And it's me, Bravehold.
And I admit, I had a larger role in the movie I was in, but I'm not as famous as the toaster
from The Breakfast Machine in Back to the Future.
Not as many people have looked at me.
1.21 gigawatts.
Was that a breakfast machine?
I don't know.
I don't really remember.
You haven't seen Back to the Future?
I have seen it.
I don't remember it as well as the Brave Little Toaster.
I think it does a few different things.
Kevin, can you just confirm?
Now, in my mind, there's a breakfast machine
at the beginning of Gremlins as well.
Am I crazy?
In my memory...
Pee-wee.
The great breakfast machine.
What happens at the beginning of Back to the Future?
Pull it up.
Kevin plays the guitar.
All the clocks are ticking.
And he strums the guitar.
He turns it up.
Oh, he's turning on all the amps and stuff.
So there's no breakfast machine?
Well, maybe at Doc Brown's house there would be.
That's where he is.
Oh, he's there at the beginning?
Yeah, I think that's where he's juicing up all the amps at Doc Brown's house.
That's where he's allowed to practice his music.
That's right.
What else happens in Back to the Future?
Should we do a clip from that and talk about that? Yeah, should we What else happens in Back to the Future? Yeah, let's talk about it. Should we do a clip from that
and talk about that? Yeah, should we do a clip from
Back to the Future? It's just a more famous thing.
Well, it's sort of my
personal thing is that I
liked Back to the Future, which is like
one of my defining characteristics.
I don't know, and I believe I'm unique in this
respect. Yeah.
That I liked that movie
as a kid
and so I remember stuff from it
and talking about it
is actually a huge part of my personality
what else is like that
it took me for fries
fries?
eating fries
do you have anything like that this year
that's sort of your main thing
I really like going to the park I had heard this Do you have anything like that, Cishere, that's sort of your main thing?
I really like going to the park.
Yeah.
I had heard this.
That's like my thing.
I'm notorious for it. It's true.
People are like, see me go to the park, coming from the park.
You go all the way in.
All the way in.
Not even just on the outskirts.
Wow.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, we had heard about it, and I was like, I wonder if she'll bring it up.
You've been to the middle of Center Park. Yeah. I'm a big park head, yeah. Well, yeah, we had heard about it, and I was like, I wonder if she'll bring it up. You've been to the middle of Center Park.
Yeah.
I'm a big park head, yeah.
The sexy duck.
Did you see the sexy duck at the park?
I did see the sexy duck, yeah.
Get a kiss, or?
No, I didn't want to.
A lot of people have been kissing the duck.
Well, that could be dangerous.
Yeah, like kissing everyone in New York.
Exactly, yeah.
We did chat for a little while.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Okay.
She's doing good.
That's nice.
Taking care of her kids.
Yeah.
Well, you have to these days.
That's something about, you know, it used to be the whole neighborhood would take care
of your kids.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
Now a very independent lifestyle.
Takes a village.
Yeah.
And now we've created all these walls.
And everybody just is doing their own kids.
It takes a farmville, basically,
is pretty much what we would say now.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Because of all these games, these phone games.
Yeah, super poke.
Okay, so Kevin is going to narrate
the opening title sequence of Back to the Future for us and we will see
if there is a toaster or a
breakfast machine of any kind
that's happening in the movie.
Okay, all the clocks.
Well, yeah. Kevin, go.
There's clocks and we're zooming
out. It says starring Michael J. Fox.
We hear the ticking of the clocks.
It's very quiet and we're
panning and we're seeing there's
more clocks. Tell them what time it is.
753.
There's still more
clocks. She's a guest. She shouldn't have to do that.
That was so clear.
I wouldn't say it's very quiet.
There's thousands of
clocks.
This to Kevin is silence. There's cat clocks with the. Very loud. Loud ticking. Gentle ticking. This to Kevin is silence.
There's cat clocks with the eyes slowly going back and forth.
It's Felix.
Back and forth.
You're not going to talk about the owl?
Or the dog?
There's an owl as well.
If anyone else wants to commentate, you can jump in.
Brown Mansion destroyed.
We're seeing newspaper headlines and some presidents.
And there's a pillow.
It's very messy. The whole place
is filthy.
We hear the radio.
Benjamin Franklin.
He said Benjamin Franklin and said some presidents.
Okay, so
there is a coffee machine
going, but the pot is in the wrong place.
It's not working correctly, but there are breakfast elements the wrong place. So it's not working correctly.
But there are breakfast elements playing out right now, I just want to say.
Well, the coffee machine is one of the big parts of breakfast.
We might see some toast in a toaster.
This should go on our Fyre Fest docs.
This pays off.
The plutonium?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That sounds very familiar. Yes! This pays off. The plutonium? Yeah. Yeah. Wait a second.
That sounds very familiar.
Yes!
The friggin' toaster from the beginning.
Oh, yes.
Wow.
Wow.
No one was challenging me on whether there was a breakfast machine in this movie.
Not at all. I believe you.
To see Sashir just wither up and blow away.
Yeah, you really showed me.
I regret this.
Okay, can you get the beginning of Gremlins, please?
The Pee Wee one's better, though.
I don't care about that. I'm asking him to find the opening of Gremlins, please? The Pee Wee one's better, though. I don't care about that.
I'm asking him to find the opening of Gremlins.
And this is your plan, Kevin, for a Fyre Fest documentary?
I just don't understand how this has anything to do with Fyre Fest.
Okay, here's the beginning.
This is the beginning of Gremlins?
I'm rolling with rockin' Ricky Rialto, the voice of Kingston Falls, USA's the beginning. This is the beginning of Gremlins?
Skip.
Skip forward.
Skip forward more. And you have to turn it down.
Come on, Jesus.
Judge Reinhold.
Brett, you score it.
Dude, this movie's scary.
It's a bunch of people buying a Christmas tree.
I don't see any Christmas tree.
Okay.
Was that it?
I think, yeah, that car is his breakfast machine.
What you didn't see is... He's sitting in a car with his dog.
I don't see any breakfast elements at all.
The dog's so hungry for breakfast.
Dogs love bacon.
You think that dog's just following him around
and he doesn't have any bacon anywhere in the car?
I think that for time,
they weren't able to show all the breakfast stuff,
but it's there.
So the breakfast machine here
is I guess a car is a machine
that is implied
has some breakfast
to create inside.
Well, he's taking it
to the drive-thru.
So it's a machine
to get him to breakfast.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Can we now play
the beginning of
Weekend at Bernie's?
Is there a breakfast machine
in that?
I just want to see it.
I can't remember how it goes.
I've never seen this movie.
Oh, really?
It's good.
It's good.
They, like, fold them in a dishwasher.
Okay, so this is not the beginning.
This is one of ten movie clips.
It is a Fandango movie clip.
On movie clips.
So I understand how you...
Opening 1989 VHS.
Okay. Weekend at Bernie's 1 intro. I like this poster. I understand how you... Opening 1989 VHS. What is that?
Okay.
Weekend at Bernie's 1 intro.
I like this poster.
Who knew that you might be looking for 2?
And Kevin, you have to turn it down.
Sorry.
My God, Kevin.
So this is your Fyre Fest documentary pitch.
There's a movie part.
Is that it's freaking weekend at Bernie.
How am I supposed to play while the music is playing?
This would be playing.
This would be playing.
Are you in a band?
You have to play while there's music playing all the time.
And I always say that, like, turn down.
So this would be the movie element of the festival.
So there's a guy just spray washing the sidewalk.
Yeah.
People are leaving their house.
Yeah.
This guy passes a woman.
Is this what you were thinking of?
You know, I honestly don't remember how this movie starts.
I just wanted to see it again. Yeah, she didn't pitch anything.
No.
They're on Center Park Ave.
That guy has a book on his head.
Oh, damn.
Talk about a breakfast machine.
How is that a breakfast...
What?
I'm not promising
a breakfast machine.
I just wanted to say
No one said you were,
but I'm saying
let's talk about it.
Does this look like 10?
Or does this look like 10.30?
Morning, Richard.
Good morning.
It's about times, though, huh?
Just like Back to the Future.
It's 7.53 and Back to the Future,
but then he says 1030.
Yes.
All these movies.
Very connected.
A firm sense of time.
Kevin's related videos was the tragic history of Colonel Sanders.
Tragic history.
Okay, Kevin, I don't understand how this is going to come together.
It doesn't feel like Fyre Fest to me at all. You've never been wrong. okay Kevin I don't understand how this is gonna come together and I mean I trust you
it doesn't feel like
fire fest to me at all
you've never been wrong
I guess we have a couple
commentary tracks
and when you say
there's a movies
component
what does that mean
you just play clips
from movies
in the documentary
yeah there's two elements
there's like the food element
which we discussed
with the toaster
and then there's
the movies element
where we discussed
with the weekend of
Bernie's and gremlins.
Well,
I do have a way to tie this all together.
Thank you.
Which is that Kevin did want to have a big band performance at the end of
this documentary where we saw something from the festival and maybe a certain
band and musician could play his famous new song, The Breakfast Machine.
It would help.
Okay.
This is not really breakfast related, but I think it would help for just to get everything
that we want to accomplish here.
So sure, you are the Pizza Mind, correct?
I am the Pizza Mind, yeah.
And that is the name of?
My stand-up special.
I am the Pizza Mind.
No, it's just called Pizza Mutt.
Right.
And it's on Amazon.
On Amazon.
It's my stand-up special.
And they couldn't build the headquarters in New York because your stand-up special wouldn't fit inside?
No.
Yeah, we had to go to New Orleans because there's no laws down there.
And is it Pizza M-I-N-E-D?
Working in the pizza mines?
No. You've been pizza mined? It's M-I-N-E-D, working in the pizza mines? No.
You've been pizza mined?
It's M-I-N-D, like your brains.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Pizza brains.
That could work, too.
Could have been pizza brains, and then people wouldn't have that confusion.
Well, I guess I want it to be like a pun.
So it's like, I'll give you a piece of my mind, a piece of mind, and also I like pizza.
What percentage of people are getting the pun, do you think?
Like five.
Five percent.
Five percent.
Hardly anyone gets the pun.
Some people call it pizza head.
Okay.
Which I also would watch.
Yeah, all are good options as long as you watch it.
That's a safe pun to make because if people don't get it,
it still sounds pretty good.
Yeah.
So, Brett, the song is Breakfast Machine.
Okay.
But it would, for promotional purposes,
it would be great to get pizza in there somewhere.
Well, maybe somebody here eats cold pizza for breakfast.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
You have to sing the song.
And sometimes you can have French bread pizza for breakfast.
Breakfast machine, breakfast machine.
Oh, yeah.
Breakfast.
Breakfast machine, breakfast. Mm-na-na-na, na-na-na-na. Breakfast machine, breakfast machine.
I'm a grown up now.
I can eat s'mores for breakfast if I want.
I'll make one in a great big bonfire.
Mush the marshmallow in between animal crackers.
Small breakfast, breakfast machine.
I'm sorry, the pizza part.
Breakfast machine, breakfast machine.
Having a dream dream making it mean
waking up eating pizza
all the time
french bread pizza from Stouffers
on my mind
breakfast machine
the gears are so clean
breakfast machine
that's my scene.
Breakfast Machine, Breakfast Machine.
I'm going to use this toaster over here.
Breakfast Machine, Breakfast Machine.
It's the most famous toaster from Brave Little Toaster.
Everyone knows that's the toaster you first think of when you think of toasters.
And the song's not a place to fight about toasters.
Oh, no.
Breakfast machine.
Breakfast machine.
Shiny and clean.
Breakfast machine.
Hayes made it mean.
Oh, baby. But then then sashir got really mean because
i'm not necessarily fighting just bringing up a point to say that my favorite toaster is a
little toaster that is okay if you disagree. Not about favorite at all.
It's about what's more famous.
Yeah, toaster.
You don't even know what the brave little toaster's name is.
But your most famous is also subjective.
Because, again, as we said before, I don't think Ja Rule is very famous.
But yet, you think he's in the stratosphere with Kendall Jenner and all of those minors.
Boy, you just can't believe it.
My friends are blanking and my friends are lit, and we're afraid of the air conditioner.
We escaped to our house and we have to get home.
The brave little toaster.
I'm not poked in!
Wow.
And we did it off-book.
And we ate their lunch
and their breakfast.
Bye! Bye.