Hollywood Handbook - Shaun Diston and Brett Morris, Our Christmas Album Friends
Episode Date: December 5, 2023The Boys welcome back SHAUN DISTON and BRETT MORRIS to make a new Christmas album. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like ...the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
So look, I mean, you know, we always say this, right, about the creative process.
It takes what it takes.
And I won't do it before it's ready.
Like there are people who get in there and they just go like, well, I'll figure it out.
You know, I'll put it out on the fly.
You're an improviser.
Oh, yeah.
That's like, that's when you're on stage and you're fucking around.
People expect that.
People believe that improvising doesn't also require preparation.
Oh, yeah.
And you need to feel inspired and you need to feel like you have it.
You got hours of meditation to sort of let the
ideas sort of start to come to the edge of your brain shut up for a second i'm talking to sean
distant hey what's up who's here and of course uh engineer brett man morris so good to be back
i am brett man
you remembered we have done um uh the famous uh christmas album the 27 track christmas album from about three
years ago and i think the second we walked out we said we gotta do that again yeah we're coming
back was it you was it you who said let's do that again i said run that
shit back i think i said that yeah you did but it was but it was um but it was really uh so much fun
and people have loved it and people been saying when are you gonna do it again but it takes what
it takes which is what i said at the beginning and i've been in the lab and i've been uh you know drawing my equations on the board
you know it's so nice to own your own lab right that's like the janitor who comes in and even
solves the equation yeah it's because it's with the music it completes it yeah it's uh yeah and
i'm glad to be back um you know i'm'm normally here for episodes where I don't necessarily need a guest.
Don't need to hear from that.
And that and that was and that was something heavily discussed the first time, which was that we do episodes with Sean that get a vulture right up.
But that are impactful in a way where people discuss their big episodes, but discuss it independently of the guest exists.
Absolutely.
Yeah. I'm kind of the Rick Rubin of the guest existing. Absolutely, yeah.
I'm kind of the Rick Rubin of this whole situation.
Hayes just walked in.
I didn't realize we were doing sunglasses.
Oh, okay.
Sunglasses got to go on.
Hey, sit down.
So it takes what it takes, as I've said in the past.
Just throw that guitar.
Hey, I got you something.
Hayes, you seem pretty upset.
I mean, you came in. He's not. What's going on okay and we have a full-on ebenezer scrooge in the in the building uh he doesn't really
hate christmas and that's not that we don't want to say that um we it's not uh boo hushbug
okay all right all right he's committing to the bit.
I see Brett still can't stand up and play the guitar.
I need a strap.
It's too heavy for him.
And I actually think that's fine.
That's cool.
He tips over.
That's my fault.
Very slowly.
That's my fault.
I have a joke.
That's my fault.
Brett said, should I bring my strap on?
That's for tonight. Yeah, that's my fault brett said should i bring my strap on and i said that's for tonight yeah that's for after hours no it's uh yeah we're recording this one um so uh brett has the gf yeah
he is yeah no he's in a relationship committed yeah they're in love so i have a fully committed
yeah both of them no they should absolutely be locked in a rubber room with
uh jackets that protect them from themselves so i i i do uh i do want to catch you up hayes i was
just saying it takes what it takes there's been a lot of demand people want another christmas album
but it takes what it takes i had to i had to go back into uh gestation phase see i thought i said that too no no you said it in a different context i said that
yeah and and so uh we had obviously a process where we were able to come up with a lot of the
initial songs off the top of our head but we wanted to have more of a plan this time so i i took three years i did the work and i do have
one song idea okay and this will launch us and i think once we record this one
it'll kind of get us in the vibe and then we can knock out the other 26 tracks
and i think seven or eight of them will be when keeping it real goes wrong
you gotta do skits i forgot that we do skits so we always do we keep it real
we do some keep it real goes wrong skits yeah and so to get us in and and i have uh this idea
um and we did do last time some songs that were heavily inspired by existing songs and their tune
and lyrics and this time um, right before the recording,
I asked Brett if he could play this,
and he said, sort of.
And I wanted to do the Radiohead song,
Fake Plastic Trees, but it's Fake Christmas Trees.
Okay.
So I figured we could do that.
And then from there, we're like... We're halfway done.
We're halfway done.
The hit's already written.
Yeah.
That's the single.
The rest is B-size.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, we've got our single.
Like, the A&R guy goes like, well, we can launch this, baby.
Just filler from there.
And then the skits are fun.
Like, they'll be funny this time.
Should I just get started?
Brett, start playing it, and let's just see how it feels.
Okay.
I feel like you hit a wrong note.
Let me know if I should sing.
So the lyrics you have up there, you didn't rewrite lyrics.
So those are the real lyrics.
Yeah.
Just to know kind of how the song goes, which I'm not super familiar with.
May Christmas trees at the farm.
Ooh, I like this.
Wait, can I go?
Because I had Christmas ornament ready.
Yeah, no good.
He'd been in the lab for a long time.
Hang on.
It has to come back around now.
It has to go all the way around
new christmas ornament
for my fake tree up on the stand
am i playing it wrong?
I don't know.
Sounds right to me.
A new Christmas
ornament
for a Christmas tree
on a stand
A fake For a Christmas tree on a stand.
A fake Christmas tree.
Do you know it better?
Because I don't really know how it goes now.
We've lost.
I mean, there was a lot of time spent in the lab on Christmas ornament.
I think it actually helps that I don't know.
That might be better. Because you just follow the rules. I don't know. That might be better.
I don't know well enough.
Brett's version is my version now.
Can I have my headphones back, please?
Thank you.
That give and take is really nice.
Just shut them off. That's going to be two tracks.
I feel like we do that pre-track with a lot of rambling.
Let's do it again.
I'm going to do my version.
All right, here we go. This is more time i'm gonna do my version okay all right here we go which is brett this is brett's version the one thing i did my version the one thing i did think of just now is the part where it says it wears them out and the
real song it won't dry out i wasn't really and again i don't know so i'm just gonna because
you put the little water water you make sure you have a
water base you need that and you screw well no it's fake oh christmas okay yeah i'm gonna use
my same introductory lyric so it's just already dry and just go from there so brett start again
okay
fake plastic trees at the farm
i'm gonna make make Christmas tree parm with the
I call the sauce gravy
I call the sauce gravy because I'm from New Jersey,
the capital of New York.
We are the Jersey Boys
Please put us on the void
Okay, yeah
Gold embossed by ash
Okay, I gotta say
Brad, you gotta bring it home a lot faster.
We got to do 27 of these.
I thought it, but all I know is like...
Were you directing that at me?
I actually will give the opposite note
and we just have to keep it in that same place.
Yeah.
And then we'll just fade out.
And I think we just fade out on that.
Did we ever get to the fake Christmas trees part?
I said it was the first line.
Oh, okay.
It was said.
Yeah.
I did say fake plastic trees, which I think will be helpful for people who are like, what song is this from?
Yeah.
So I think it's time for a when keeping it real goes wrong.
It's got to be.
It's got to be.
It's great when that's the second track. I think I could probably do one. I think. It's gotta be. I think I got one.
I think I could probably do one.
Alright, let's hear it.
So we're like in a Starbucks.
There's like Christmas music.
I have a Christmas coffee
for a Cien.
For like a Cien,
I guess.
Anybody around here named Cien?
Cien.
I think someone said that cn
my name's dm cn my name's c note okay well his did you order a christmas coffee yeah
we all i mean it's christmas we all got christmas i guess my initials are cn
okay but no i i guess what i see here is... I'm kind of like the Cartoon Network that way.
Yeah, I guess so.
I mean...
Okay, so is this your coffee?
Do you want me to just give you the coffee?
Yeah.
Okay.
Wait, is this when keeping it real goes right?
Okay, so we did have to give him something different.
For the Christmas album, his name is C-No.
It's spelled
s-e-a hyphen no uh-huh so my initials aren't that yeah i love that okay well we got we got
two in and he's like a cap he's like a salty sea dog type character that's really good and yeah so
that actually reminds me of my headphones back please why back, please? Why don't we do, since I am a salty sea captain,
which I did feel like I didn't have enough of a character the first time,
let's do a Christmas at sea, Christmas out on the ocean kind of thing.
Like a sort of sea shanty kind of.
Yeah, that could be nice.
Carl, Carl!
I got all my presents and I hope I don't get seasick I got all my presents and I don't want to vomit into them
Well, there's seagulls a-flyin' a-circlin' around
I am lying
on the ground
I'm on my back and I'm green
at the gills
Oh my presence will shortly be
filled with vomit
with vomit
I'm feeling
unwell from the choppy water
Fare thee well, Mr. Santa Claus
Riding your sea sled across the pond
Sea sled driven by ten sea dogs
Sea dogs are what we call a walrus
When we first saw the walrus,
it was that looked the most like a dog.
We said it must be a new kind of dog
that lives in the sea,
and that's a sea dog.
Call! Call!
All right, wrap it up, Brett. bread i'm not gonna do a verse
okay well i know that was good yeah i guess that's the way they call it as he
yeah yeah he shan't be doing a verse
what do you notice john so i noticed that um
you didn't have the benefit as i did of having a false start on the
fake christmas tree song
i really benefited from that i was able to go you didn't get to do a version of that and you
didn't do a verse on this one right so i'm wondering what inspires you because i do think
the that was missing your voice it was it might have been missing and i'd like to know not helpful
that you proposed it would keeping it real goes wrong
and everyone just played out a scenario?
No, I thought that was really great.
We found something.
Keeping it real goes right is a new thing.
People are waiting for it to go wrong.
When you are able to subvert their expectations
in the way that we did,
it's actually pretty cool.
Now when the next one comes up,
they're really going to be
on the edge of the seat
because it's like,
now it's building up.
Is Keeping It Real
going to go fine?
Yeah.
About my voice on that song,
like I said,
I think I'm more of a Rick Rubin
kind of,
my presence
is just going to be
inspiring to you guys,
you know?
Yes.
Okay.
I mean,
that's kind of what I do
on Hollywood Handbook.
I show up.
It's true.
You guys have a banger episode.
I'm basically
there when it's happening and i'm here john's done his job when you don't feel him in the episode
yes that's right it's like that's like you can never point to what he did that's exactly right
i do have one um maybe one song and and i don't know if you know this one brett but i think if we could do bob
marley's exodus and just make it santa claus i mean that could be great make exodus santa claus
okay that lines up pretty much perfectly it's perfect amount of syllables i feel like that's
like one chord it's like yeah if i I remember... Is that like one?
It's either one or two chords.
Yeah, yeah.
Hit it with it.
Right.
Something like that.
Santa Claus
Delivering the presents
Oh yeah
Yes, yes.
This might be the single. Oh yeah. Yes, yes.
This might be the single.
Mrs. Claus Staying home with the kids.
Santa Claus
He's friends with the reindeer
Oh yeah
I think we fade out maybe right there
That felt very strong
I wasn't lost at any point
Such a feature
Look at these Christmas songs
They're mostly simple
There's not like a lot of lyrics
I just think the passion speaks for itself
answer some questions about
like when Santa Claus is delivering
presents you're like
who's taking care of his children
that's what Mrs. Claus is doing
got it that's fucking dope
and that the reindeer I never knew
like friends
are they just work friends
there are
some depictions where he's kind of like whipping them like you know like horses and stuff that's
wrong how many kids does santa claus have that's a great question i mean is that a song i feel like
they would compete like succession style oh that's good could you do the succession succession clause i think that's really good um and i like that we're not this is not going to be a skit
very well no but no
yeah i guess we would each embody one of Santa's children in our own verse.
All vying for the sleigh.
You could do it like Dire Straits.
I like that.
I like that.
Yeah.
One of Santa's kids was in a meeting with a bunch of elves And he decided to shut down the International Christmas Corporation
And he wants to be the C.E. Snow
My name is Stephen Claus and I'd like to bend your ear.
I think I should be the new Santa this year.
How about a vote of no confidence for that old fat fuck with a big white beard?
You should listen to me cause I am going to get the reindeer to move
faster sharper cleaner through the skies and deliver presents at a greater profit to us
the north pole corporation i got my eye on the bottom line Bottom line. Okay, good.
Two siblings, I guess, this time.
I mean, who was the first one?
No, it felt like just a narrator.
You were one of the siblings?
Holy shit.
That was such a roundabout way to throw your hat in the ring.
Isn't one of the siblings just narrating the whole show,
talking about what's happening?
No?
I guess I don't remember it that well.
Yeah.
Hmm.
So what are we at?
Like four?
We got to do a keeping it real.
Yeah.
We have to do another keeping it real.
Are we already keeping track?
Yeah.
I think we're at like four.
What are we at?
Five.
This is number six.
Okay, great.
Well, this will get us really close.
Keeping it real goes wrong.
And we're going for 27 again?
I mean, it's hard to do less than we did the first time.
It was 27 last time?
I believe so.
We might have done just a few remixes of songs we already recorded,
like the dance remix and the trance remix and that kind of thing.
Yeah.
And, like, you know, parodies are fine.
And so if we have, have like whatever's most popular
right now we can do we you do a christmas version of the number one song okay which i think could
be huge that'd be good or we can take popular christmas songs and then turn it into our and
then remix you know put put our spin on it. Gosh, this is good.
So, like, what's the number one Billboard song right now, Kevin?
Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift.
Ooh, okay, that's good.
Do we know how that... I know how the...
I kind of know how the chorus goes.
How the chorus goes.
I think it's still the same song.
It's the same song?
Yeah, it's just re-recorded.
Do you know it, Brett?
Yes.
Cruel Summer.
Okay.
Let me look at it.
Let's see.
I mean, in a way, isn't winter the cruelest summer
that's interesting so you're saying just keep the lyrics kind of the same but like wintery
well i mean like let's explain what we're what we're talking yeah yeah i'm drunk in the back
of the sleigh and i cried like a baby i was on was on my way. I said, here's your present.
But it wasn't true.
I bought the present for me, not you.
And I snuck back in through the garden gate.
And I tucked that present back in my sleigh.
Took it home because it was for me.
I don't like you.
I want a present for me.
That's incredible.
That's really good okay
this year's summer is very cruel instead of the weather being hot it's cool instead of a snowcoat
there's regular snow that's what you have in winter you know how does the how do you get to the end of this part
to the river how the end of it goes i know what it is let me clarify what i was saying
it's like winter though.
And that's the end of the song.
That is the end. Wow.
We really nailed it. I mean, my part was pretty
bad. Well, I like this.
It was in the tone. We needed something
to get us out. And none of the rest of us knew
what happened after that.
Cruel summer. It's actually winter.
Shape of your snowman.
So, I had a different idea because just
like my fake plastic trees went so poorly for me and i was wondering about this what about um
what if it was the offspring sog self-esteem but it was called christmas tree Christmas tree.
Yeah, there you go.
Something like that.
I've got my Christmas tree today.
Put it up in the usual way.
You came over, i made dessert i took you back and i made you dessert now i mean that's really good but i i have a criticism so far about the album like i do think we're doing a lot of
christmas tree stuff right yeah we have santa stuff yeah we have a little bit it's we have
santa's doing the tree santee it's really focused around the tree the sea shanty was different yeah
yeah uh i'm i think we're there is a brett issue we are are having Brett sort of wander into territory.
Anytime I mention a song and Brett picks up his phone,
it's not going to go very well, I don't think. Should we start with a song that maybe Brett knows?
That's my suggestion.
Well, we were having Brett make up, you know,
just tones for us last time, mostly.
Except for really when we did some Weezer stuff.
Tones for us last time, mostly.
Except for really when we did some Weezer stuff.
Could we do something in the style of Bob Dylan?
Oh, that's interesting.
And I think we really could just let the lyrics fly.
I mean, it's so lyrical.
Yeah, that's true.
All right.
Sit around the fire.
Get next to the Christmas tree, of course.
Last year, I got a gift for my family.
They didn't like it.
They loved it.
They fucking couldn't stop playing with that thing.
It was a little Grogu doll from The Mandalorian.
And it was nice around the tree.
Christmas tree,
close to the fire, of course. got my nephew a big ol' horse
I didn't get my kids nothing at all
Present for my nephew only
My best friend of all.
And of course, I couldn't forget to get a present for that one very special person we all think of around this time of year.
Yeah, you guessed it.
Jeff, my college roommate jeff my college roommate
wow see i thought there could be more about christmas trees in that one
you that one was oh yeah christmas tree was close to the fire it came up at least
it was really close to the fire i was actually relieved that i was nervous i was so nervous
yeah um yeah i think keeping it real close to the fire goes wrong that tension that we were
able to create i think for the christmas album enjoyer i think that's good we'll bring a whole
new level because you get sleepy on christmas and This will kind of get them back up in their chair.
When keeping it real, it goes wrong.
Okay.
Hey, so somebody ordered one of these Christmas trees.
I have it all wrapped up, ready to put on the car.
Someone named She-Note?
You probably think that's me.
No, no, no, no. Somebody named She named she note they put in an order over the phone
are you being funny with the way you're saying it it's not me my name's he note
no if i say it get wrong what am i saying what am i am i doing something wrong or
it feels like you're intentionally doing something wrong let me look at it time for me to stand up to
you wait hold on hold on c note no i'm, I was reading it wrong. My assistant wrote it with a
C note. Might as well not exist.
So I guess that everything's fine.
When keeping it real
goes fine.
Hollywood handbook.
Eating better is
easy with factors.
Delicious, ready to eat meals.
Every fresh, never frozen meal is chef crafted, dietitian approved, ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-frozen meal is chef-crafted,
dietitian-approved, ready-to-go in just two minutes.
Speaking of ready-to-go in just two minutes,
Chef Kevin is here with his new show,
The Chef Kevin Factor,
where he creates fresh, never-frozen meals.
Now, this is different, Kevin.
I just want to establish.
It's none of this, like, here's a pile of ingredients.
Like, this is the meal.
The meal has to be ready.
It's not a recipe.
Okay?
This is the meal.
You cook the full meal for us now, Kevin.
You don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet.
You're actually
doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including
calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it
shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all
day long how many add-ons and what are some of
them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the
promises the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will
be added on to your bed yeah your bed plus one that's the opposite of what this is supposed to
do it's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long.
A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy.
They have smoothies and things like that.
This is wrong.
Reservation for two, me walking in my bedroom.
What's the second?
It's you and your bed?
The bed.
I got Clippy.
Fuel up fast with Factor's restaurant-quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are.
Pancake, smoothies, and more.
Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast, midday
bites, and more.
This is
not even up for consideration.
Let's just hear what the actual meal was.
What was the food? I don't want to go to bed.
It's very simple. It's
one huge
chicken nugget. Sign up and save.
We've done the math. Factor is less expensive
than takeout. Every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious head to factor meals.com slash the boys
50 and use code the boys 50 to get 50 off that's code the boys 50 at factor meals.com slash the
boys 50 to get 50 off be a better you in 2024 withbel, the science-backed language learning app that
actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that
don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and
they say like, hey, I trust you. I know when when you endorse a product it's something that you
really use and care about but there's one language that I'm trying to learn
and that's body language so can Babbel teach me body language yes Babbel now has
visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages,
handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language
in as little as three weeks.
Babbel is designed by real people for real conversations,
and that includes body-based conversations.
What does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date
and they turn around at the door
and they take their little index finger
and they kind of like draw it towards them.
They're pulling it.
What does that mean?
Does their finger hurt?
I wonder if they spotted a spider web or something.
They're trying to pull down the spider web.
Yeah.
But I've seen this too after a lot of dates
and I need and have needed something like
babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a
it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that
stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes
on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising
they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like
pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get to drive by the car or just do it out the window
as I'm going? That's what I've been doing. Dangerous. But some of these very subtle
body language cues have escaped me and many listeners. I'm sure.
Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations
at which I have all the time and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned
in the real world.
Studies from Yale, Michigan State
University, and others
can't feel good to be others there.
Continue to
prove Babbel is better.
One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours
is equivalent to a full semester
at college.
Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold.
All of their 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee.
Here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners right now.
Get 55% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners, at babbel.com slash the boys.
Get 55% off at babbel.com slash the boys B-A-B-E-L.com.
B-A-B-B-E-L.
B-A-B-B-E-L.com.
Rules and restrictions may apply.
With Babbel, we can't promise it'll always be easy,
but you'll always be glad you did it.
Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me.
Hollywood hamper.
Okay, I got another idea for a song.
What if we do one called Christmas is Canceled?
Oh.
Christmas has been inappropriate.
Yeah, and it's like a sort of medley of songs by canceled artists, maybe.
Well, it's interesting because it's getting canceled
by the snowflakes. That's getting cancelled by the Snowflakes.
That's so good.
Okay, this is good.
Brett, what cancelled music do you
know by now?
That's definitely way easier than before.
What, like
R. Kelly maybe? Yeah, maybe we do
R. Kelly. We do
Ignition remix or something.
That one everybody knows knows that'll feel
good this is the remix to christmas and there is no more christmas cause it's canceled they
did something that we have to just dismiss they are no longer around we don't like them around
they're canceled and we're gonna bury them in the ground Trying to separate the artist from the artist's art
But when it comes to Christmas, that's the hardest part
You know, I can't ignore what Christmas did
Especially when I think about kids
Wow. I think that was good.
I think that one's a cut and print.
I think that one's really good.
We have something to say with that one.
We're reaching out to an audience
that needs Christmas music.
So Christmas is R. Kelly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, yeah, Christmas is obsessed with kids.
Age ain't a better number for Christmas.
I think that's good.
Yeah.
That's really good.
Where are we at?
That was 10.
That's pretty good.
That's really good.
We just peeled 10 off.
I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling really good.
Yeah, is there something?
Let's see.
Is there a song, Brett?
I mean, we still, I feel like, haven't gotten to a song that you know.
Yeah, is there anything that you know. That you're really good at playing.
That you want to play.
I work better off inspiration, you know?
Yeah.
Okay.
So would you mind getting inspired?
Maybe like, you mentioned Weezer before.
Okay.
We did do this last time.
We don't want to do that again.
While Apodaca was doing it.
I don't hate the idea of doing... Did we do this one? We did do that to do that again. While Apodaca was doing it. I don't hate the idea of doing
the sweater song.
We did the ugly Christmas sweater song.
That's right.
What other Weezer do you know?
I know other Weezer.
We did kind of the big ones.
Really incredibly
damaging.
Oh, you know what we did?
You know what we didn't do?
We pulled two songs out of midair
that we did last time.
What did we do?
We didn't do
Island in the Sun by Weezer.
Which I am thinking
has the word holiday in it.
That is good.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Christmas.
Christmas Christmas Christmas
Christmas
When your Christmas holiday
I am riding
on a sleigh
And Santa's
next to me
And I have a
Christmas tree
On a Christmas
in North Pole.
We would be having a lot of coal.
We have all this coal because everyone was good this year.
We'll ride a sleigh together.
We'll have some wine forever.
We'll never anymore. Together, we'll have some wine forever.
We'll never anymore. Anymore.
Nice.
Nice.
Thank you.
Christmas.
That was good.
That was good.
So we got the Weezer one.
We got the Weezer one.
And we can just plug it.
Let's just plug in what would go in that gap.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll never blank.
It can't be we'll never feel bad in the original
song that's from i was running maybe we'll never um we'll never know anymore or we'll no we'll
never peel peel oh peel we'll never crack our hands we'll never peel ham anymore we'll never we'll never peel ham anymore
christmas we're just gonna eat it with the
yeah no yeah um i love peeling takes too long you know only in dreams maybe could we do that one
only in dreams well Only in dream. Well.
I am so hot.
It's the summer.
Wow.
I am thinking it should be Christmas now.
Eggnog.
Yule log.
I'm in the bog.
A witch of Christmas time is here.
I guess that's really the only part I know.
And then you get into the chorus.
I know only in dreams, but that's not really a song.
Something about that Christmas witch.
Should we do a scary one?
We could do a scary one.
Let's do a scary Christmas witch one.
I like that idea.
What's a good song to
incorporate the idea of the Christmas witch?
Maybe Brett can just give us the vibe.
That's a little something, Brett.
You know, people forget Well, maybe Brett can just give us the vibe. Okay. It's a little something, Brett. Right, that's good. Yeah. Here, give me, yeah.
Give me.
You know, people forget how close Christmas is to Halloween.
And just when you stop thinking about all those wicked ghouls and goblins,
you realize they're right behind you.
Christmas Witch.
She's an
absolute
No, no, no, no, no.
No, I shouldn't do that.
All right.
We'll start another way, I guess.
Christmas Witch.
She's an absolute christmas bitch shouldn't do oh now i'm curious can we go back to the first yeah let's go to the one we stopped
you from because that was what we were avoiding we thought because of course snitches get stitches
that'd be oh yeah and that that could have gone to stitch yeah no but definitely i found an off ramp and that's
she's an absolute christmas bitch okay yeah that's good yeah i mean we got pretty close on that yeah
that's pretty good what are you guys thinking i mean here we Here, keep going. Yeah. Yeah.
I'm the witch who crashed
into the tree
in the decorations
that you see.
But nobody
tried to help me.
And now
it's grown cold.
Halloween is two months old Christmas
Not quite two months
A little bit under
If you really count the days
Actually just shy
You're stealing a week for yourself
This is kind of one of the reasons
This is one of the reasons that I kind of call her
An absolute Christmas bitch.
Okay.
Okay.
Got back around to it.
God, do you know Young Americans?
I mean, we could do
North Polians or something.
Well, I know that
Brett famously loves
the Beatle Band.
Yeah, that's right. There must be a Beatle Band. There's gotta be a Beatle band. Yeah, that's right.
There must be a Beatle Band song.
And I'm thinking about how, and I don't know what should be on its way,
but Here Comes the Sun starts with talking about how it's been a long winter.
Yes, that's great.
And so I think maybe we could go from there.
Here Comes the Sun of Santa Claus to do Succession
Stephen Claus
Okay great
Now we're speaking my language
Yeah
Brett sat back
His phone is in his pocket
He's ready to roll
Okay here we go.
Little darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter.
Little darling, it is still winter and I'm here.
Here comes the son of Santa.
Here comes the son.
That's right.
I'm Stephen and I'm going to redo Christmas at a more profitable style.
Little Stevie.
Yes, it is Steven Van Zantus
At the sun
Little Stevie
His real name is
Steven Van Zanta
It comes the sun
It comes the sun
And I said
Succession
I did say that was my that was my suggestion yeah i actually session suggestion i actually
i thought that was really good um i love how positive you are about all the songs hey man
this is what i do i come so my minute i go i don't think we stuck the landing on that and
then i turn over and i've got rick fucking ruben and he goes hey man i thought that was really good that one was great well you
could also self-esteem one i thought was a full abortion abortion no that's good sometimes
abortions are good what you could do is have that be a track that could be a track
oh i like that like we every time i say it good, it's like you're breaking off a new track.
Right.
Oh, we're hearing in the studio.
That's a great idea.
Do you know Blackbird?
I do.
How would I do that one?
Okay, all right.
We can go back just to put in Lily Hammer.
Yeah, Lily Hammer.
We'll just go from there.
We should actually have an AI just finish that.
That's the prompt.
Santa Claus
in the dead of night
Please
leave these gifts and
learn to fly
That's how it goes.
The elves are on my side
Make sure you have the presents under the tree The elves are on my side.
Make sure you have the presents under the tree.
Back to the tree.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Concentration on the faces.
All right. Christmas morning in a bed of white. concentration on the faces. Alright.
Christmas morning in a bed of white
Freshly
fallen snow upon the
ground
Oh my god
Why didn't I put shoes
on before I went
outside Oh my god Why didn't I put shoes on Before I went outside
Oh my God
My feet are so cold
Christmas morning I kiss my wife
That's my present for the year
She's my present for the year She's my dear
I don't get to kiss her
And that's my greatest fear
Alright, wrap it up, Brett.
Bring us home.
Yes!
Got the birds.
That's a good one.
I feel like we gotta bring the energy up. we've kind of done a couple we need to do a banger we need to do like an lmfao type lowrider type thing right now
yeah like we need to do you know any lmfao brett i don't but do you know club can't handle me yes
anything that will yeah here we go again by White Snake.
Here we snow again?
I mean, it's here we snow again.
It could be here I go again.
It could be here we snow again.
Here we snow again.
All right, let's do it.
Let's do it.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we snow again on my phone
I'm Steven Santa and I'm doing the session
I'm turning Christmas into an app
And I'm drinking my wine
Yes!
And I'm having a nice time
here we snow again
wow
alright that was really good
that did get the energy
at the end this will be a track
can I mention something
well actually
I've got something that is sorely lacking from the album
right now that i'd like to inject into the next song whatever it is so like if somebody picks a
genre of song or something uh we've forgotten to include something that was kind of crucial to the
first christmas album and i think people are going to be pissed if we don't mention it so i guess if i could have a song that um kind of feels like a
i'd like an attitude of like a a post christmas like the gifts are all open we've had our dinner
and it's like now it's the time to kind of settle into the couch because we did just bring the
energy up let's get it way back down back down way back down. Back down, yeah. Way back down. Yeah, okay.
Okay.
Yes!
I'm laying on the sofa with my honey.
I spent so much Christmas money.
I know that it's time to do my bills.
But right before that, I's time to do my bills. But right before that
I've got to get my fill.
It's time to re-watch
Richard Jewell, directed
by Clint Eastwood.
I need
to re-watch Richard
Jewell, directed by
Clint Eastwood.
I hope it holds up, Mama.
I heard Mitch auditioned for that,
but he didn't get it.
It's not one of those parts that he booked,
because guess who booked it?
You got Hauser in the house.
Paul Walter Hauser, he's like Doogie Howser,
but instead of a savant at the medical
field, he's a savant
for acting and he is so
good. Yes,
indeed.
Eastwood.
Wow,
that's a good one. That's
really good. That's really good. Fucking solid
stuff. Put that one on the
album. Yeah, I think that's actually it. That's great one on the album yeah i i think that's
actually it that's great yeah yeah we're all feeling pretty good yeah how many tracks was
that kevin 17 okay so what if we did what if we did um 1979 and we just counted all those numbers
as track numbers we just add them up we get to 27 so all the numbers in the title in the title title the 1979 sort of atom of 1979 yeah we
were well over 27 at that point right um i don't know about well over
it's the other problem it's one under instead of maybe instead of and maybe instead of 1979
it's called christmas present called Christmas Present Time and then we
open 10 presents
and each present counts as a track
perfect
and just put them in
as separate tracks
the only other problem with that
is that I was totally ripping that song
off for the last one
no that's where I got the idea
no I know but I didn't really I knew it was familiar to me but i couldn't quite i thought it was
something it was a food i thought it was a food fighters thing here we go yeah well it is christmas
time and i'm opening all the gifts and here's the first one
gifts and here's the first one this kid oh yeah there you go now you're locked in this gift is the first gift of 10
and it's a d of Richard Jewell.
That's one.
Okay.
This gift is the second gift of ten.
It's homemade mold soda for my friends.
Oh, man. It's homemade mold soda for my friends.
Shakedown, that was present nine.
Okay.
And now I will open eight.
Okay, I'm opening it. And looking at what it is it's a football
yeah all right back around shakedown open gift seven it's a bunch of calligraphy
pens
I'm opening
six which is after
seven
fan fiction of all
dogs go to heaven
hold up here Fan fiction of all dogs go to heaven.
Hold up, here comes present six.
It's a still. From Adam Polly's Twix campaign from 2008.
Wow.
Shakedown, we open to number sixes.
So I'll jump down to give number four.
And you know, it's an old pack of vintage Gushers
from 1997. It's an old pack of vintage gushers From 1997
Gift three, we skip present five
A too small jacket from the movie Tribe
Here's two.
That was number
three.
It's glue
loose in a bag.
It's loose glue
in a bag.
And now
For gift number one
We say bye
Cause the show is done
That's really good
So good
So good
Yeah
Should we keep going?
Bonus track
Hollywood Handbook
That was a Hate Gum Podcast