Hollywood Handbook - Sinbad, Our Close Friend
Episode Date: July 21, 2014Hayes and Sean are pissed about how the new movie Boyhood ripped off their long-time project "Engineer Cody Boy" and they assist a fan that wrote in asking for relationship help. Then, SINBAD... is in the studio with his daughter and dog to discuss being taken by aliens, his feelings on selfies, what it was like to invent comedy, and he takes us behind the scenes of "Jingle All the Way". Finally, the guys talk about their beef with Kel and the Popcorn Gallery asks Sinbad about mustaches, handshakes, death, and more! This episode is sponsored by Cards Against Humanity, Sparkbox, & Star Shower.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast. You know, so I look him up. He's Pablo Schreiber's brother. Can you believe that?
Did you have any idea?
Yes, no, I had no idea.
Pornstache!
Because he doesn't have the mustache as a thing.
Yes!
Unbelievable.
So no wonder I like him.
Yes, yes.
You know, it's genetic.
Hey!
What up, what up?
Welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names in
the Red Carpet Lineback Hallways of this industry we call showbiz.
We love movies.
We don't love all of them.
Sometimes a movie comes out and you have an experience with it that is not entirely positive.
You get to a point, too, Hez, in your career where you think,
I'm immune to being truly teed off and disappointed.
I'm financially comfortable. My apartment's off and disappointed. I'm financially comfortable.
My apartment's shaping up great.
I'm getting along with my dad.
I'm not grounded, you know.
You really start to think, gosh, everything's swimming.
Steffi looks good lately.
Everything's swimming, and I can't get shaken to my core by a movie-going experience.
Yeah, that's my—you start to think that it's the same thing for me relationship-wise.
My thing with Carrie Ann Moss is going so well
that you start to think that nothing else in your life can get to you,
that you feel sort of cured now.
That you're on cloud nine and you go,
I'm never going back to cloud eight or seven.
Yes, she's my medicine.
And boy, do I need a big spoonful after this movie.
A healthy dose and just load up that syringe and mainline it straight into your wiener vein, you know?
That big one, that one big one.
And that is how a relationship can really feel when it's going good.
Boyhood.
We saw this movie. Boyhood's going good. Boyhood. We saw this movie.
Boyhood's a movie.
It probably didn't come to your town, and I wish it didn't come to mine.
Now, Ricky Linklater is a sweet kid, or so we thought.
We've talked to him before at a premiere for, and I I wanna say it was
what was that movie
Drop Dead Fred
is that right
yeah I was gonna say about the guys
Lachlan Monroe
so then Ricky's there
and we're talking to him on the carpet
and we're
telling him about the different projects we're doing and we're saying
we're doing this one movie where we follow this guy when we shoot this baby you know straight up yes and every
day we film him for like 25 minutes from when he was a little baby boy and we slip we slip defend
a engineer cody's parents uh when you know right when he was born, we were sort of sticking out the hospital room for who looked like
they were real hard up for a little bit of do-re-mi.
And we laid a 50 spot on him and said, can we videotape this kid?
No holds barred.
We get to do anything with him.
So, yes.
So, from day one, we've got footage, footage what 18 minutes a day we we roll on this
kid sure and we've been you know this movie uh engineer cody boy was the name of the project and
it's been something we've been excited about for a long time we were sort of finding ourselves, in terms of the three-act structure,
in the second act low for 20, 21 years.
Yeah.
And so we were waiting to finish this movie until... We sat and we bump into Ricky again, round two,
at the...
What was the premiere that we were at where we wound up talking to him?
It was that movie with, you know, the machines.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
The machines.
It's the machines one.
Yes.
Planes 2, Fire and Rescue.
Yes, Planes 2, Fire and Rescue.
So it was just the other day.
The funny machines.
It's so funny.
And then so we're hanging with dude.
funny and then uh so we're hanging with dude and um we go we're probably gonna have to run this thing out for 30 years you know of footage to actually get a freaking story hopefully something
happens to cody not necessarily something bad but if engineer cody had something bad happen that's
more interesting yes it's that's an ending at least and he's walking just like this what we
have now is not an ending and
i'll tell you this motherfucker has nine lives too because he's walking underneath the piano
that's being pulled up on a rickety pulley system he's and he just like pinballing off cars every
time he crosses the street yeah i mean the broken arm was you, you know, that he got away that unscathed. That was in a plane crash.
And he made a fucking pick to do about it.
It's like, and the plane was crashing into a train.
So it's really unreal.
And he walked away.
He's like, my arm's broken.
My arm!
Crying like a baby.
We got 18 minutes of him wailing so anyway you know that we're telling
ricky that we're having trouble and he goes like have you thought about just doing uh just 12 years
and he winks at us he lets out this boyhood movie that thinks only 12 years of some kid
who's not even an engineer or anything here's the other thing about this movie they call it boyhood and then when he's a kid they don't
even show like his boyhood yes it's false advertising like you don't see his like you
know his his little like his boyhood let me tell you engineer cody boy you were going to see the whole package, the whole deal, whatever there
is to see.
And, and we were excited for that kind of cinematic experience to give you, because
they grow.
I mean, they start different than they...
You should see some of the...
Not always as much as, whatever.
It's not, not, it's not the same, but they do grow, you know?
And we thought that's part of the story.
We were doing one of the, you know, the, where you take a picture of yourself every day.
We were doing one of those things.
And you should see how this thing grows.
It doesn't grow out.
No.
Necessarily.
It's more up.
I don't know how to describe it.
Sort of up and in.
And then around.
It's like it grows sort of like a fingernail.
Have you seen like those Guinness Book of World Records things?
Yes, where they curl.
It's a, yes, it's an up and back.
Or like an elf's shoe.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, yeah, that's good.
It's like, and it must be some, you know, I'm sure there's some mathematician who could explain it.
It's got to be some Fibonacci.
It's the golden ratio, I think.
Yes, because it does do.
It's just like.
If you put creamer in your coffee, you'd have an idea of what this thing is doing.
Yeah.
So at any rate, it was going to be a hell of a film.
It's going to be a hell of a film.
And meanwhile, dude scoops us.
Only did 12 years with some fucking drip.
I mean, I'm telling you, this kid's really not an engineer in anything.
And so I don't know how it's a movie, but... And now watch Now Cody Will Die.
Oh, God.
Just watch.
Yeah, because we stopped filming him now.
There's no point. It's been done. and watch cody just die now what yeah just just without any help
without any classic cody that would be just as soon as we look away now he dies dude's been
frustrating us from fucking jump and now it's just going to be the greatest final joke on us.
He trips on a roller skate or something on our way out of this
podcast. Yeah, something funny.
Believe me,
we wanted it to be funny.
The perfect thing.
Anyway, so
donor shoutouts,
right? Donor shoutouts, yes.
We want to do
Ariella Feller.
It's sort of another cowboy thing.
We had Laramie Legal last week, and now another one of these funny cowboy names.
Well, Feller, you dernated 200 derlers to Ear Earwolf and what's other cowboy stuff?
Oh, gosh, terbacchi and all this.
They've got hay and all this.
This whole thing with the hay and the slop.
All the tumbling weeds and it's just unreal.
And there's another donor donation, which is a disappointing amount because it's from John Goodman.
It's from John Goodman, yes.
And you remember him.
He did the Roseanne shows.
Alpha House.
You know him from Alpha House.
Oh.
But before Alpha House, he was on Roseanne.
Okay, yes.
And he's one of the best Blues Brothers that we've had.
Yes.
And so, you know, john goodman gave a hundred bucks uh you know tanks but no
tanks on that fucking shit because i know you got paid out the wazoo for alpha house and amazon's
not doing great because you did it and jeff bezos has had to cut back on some of his stuff that he
does his like uh hella hunting and all that we there's another thing we need to discuss.
We got a letter.
You can write us.
I don't know.
Somebody forwarded it to us through the website or something like that.
It's from a girl named Jenna.
Jenna Kuczynskis.
Kuczynskis.
Kuczynskis. And I don don't know do we read the whole thing i don't i
mean i don't know how much of this we want to do um jenna says she's a big fan of our podcast
very few have the ability to be funny and succeed. I succeed at what?
Anyway, she loves our shit.
The hardest name.
And she says at the same time,
her ex-boyfriend is a really big fan of the show.
And he listens to all of our podcasts.
And it would... She is asking us, essentially,
to tell her ex-boyfriend
that he should get back together with her.
Well, can I do this?
Please, do we have his name?
We don't have his name.
That would make it a lot easier.
Okay, so whatever your name is
get back together with this girl and marry her and give her a normal last name because this thing is
driving me fucking batty yeah and i'm sorry for cursing but it's driving me batty trying to say
this name and it's just the most kubankos thing And maybe that's how it's pronounced for all I know.
And so get back together with her.
Date her.
Give her a ring.
Marry her.
You don't like it.
I don't care.
Can't speak to her personality necessarily.
She seems fine.
Yeah. She likes the show.
She offered to send.
Wrote a letter.
Yeah.
You don't need more than a couple brain cells to know that this show is a big fucking hit.
So, you know.
But that's a good place to start.
Yeah.
And if only as like emergency aid
to just get this woman on the right path
in terms of her name.
Yeah, give her the name.
And then if you want to split up at least
you know she's got gotten out of the situation she's in where i can't imagine anyone wants to
deal with her on any sort of you know professional or professional or personal level exactly
exactly right she uh and so we did we did it we jenna we said that your ex-boyfriend should get back together with you.
This obviously constitutes an ad.
It's a rather large placement.
The financial stuff we can take care of after the fact.
Yes, you're contractually bound to us now.
And whether you want to do it in one big lump sum payment,
it is a large amount of money.
If that's difficult for you, we could possibly do two payments or...
A two.
We prefer to do one.
I would do two, and as long as they both arrive in the 10-day window, which begins now that we have...
And if you do two, it is, of course, twice as expensive just because of the timing.
Two payments of the original payment.
Exactly.
Exactly, Hayes.
Yes.
And yeah, the two payments and we'll take a cashier's check or we can also accept any large check from a bank.
Like from a – yes.
If it's a check from a bank, I think we could do that.
Cody, is that something we can do?
I'm not sure. I'm not that something we can do? Not sure.
I'm not really on the financial end of this stuff.
It's something about hearing your voice now, now that it's all over.
Yes.
Now that the movie's behind, I go, maybe Ricky did us a favor
because I honestly can't imagine anyone wanting to just sit in a room with this guy.
It sucks.
And sorry for cursing, but it's sucky.
We've got a great guest today.
Sinbad is here.
I mean, we can't believe it.
It's really just a great time that we have with Sinbad and his daughter and his dog.
Coming up on Hollywood Handbook.
Hollywood Handbook.
So now Kyle Chandler is like, why are you so upset?
I'm like, well, you know why I'm upset, Kyle. You said that Tom from
Saving Private Ryan was coming. I said, well,
he did. And I said, you know I thought
you meant Sizemore. I don't want to
hang with Hanks. No offense, Hanks. And Hanks
wasn't offended. He gets it. Sizemore has
stories. He just has stories. Yes,
exactly. Anyway. Hey,
welcome to Hollywood Handbook and
Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names in the
Red Carpet Lineback Hallways of this industry we call Showbiz.
Blockbuster guest today.
We're so excited.
There's never been so excited for a guest.
We're going to teach you something today.
We're going to teach you a lot about Hollywood and entertainment.
Get out your notepads.
Scoop troop.
Get your notepads out right now and you probably stretch your hand out or something,
because you're going to be doing a decent amount of writing.
Sinbad is here.
Sinbad is here.
Drop a knowledge, man.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Just drop a knowledge, man.
For being here today.
Just drop a knowledge, man.
This is my drop a knowledge tour.
Speak on that.
Speak, man.
Speak.
That's really all this is, right?
I feel like a 70s moment. Speak, man. Speak. That's really all this is, right? That was deep.
I felt like a 70s moment.
Speak, man.
Because you didn't have to be deep, dude, because most people are anyway.
Yeah, speak, man.
That was deep.
And nobody remember what anybody said.
That's why we're so jacked up as adults when we talk to y'all.
We don't remember our young age, so we thought we were better than you.
We think we got a lot more done, but we did not.
It was the Nehru jackets
that made everyone very mystical.
You can't beat that, dude.
Come on.
Nehru was it.
I still have some Nehru.
I still wear Nehru collars now.
Not the jacket.
Just the collar on like a t-shirt?
No, on nice shirts, man.
You got to have a nice shirt made.
Yeah.
Because black tie,
I won't wear a tie
and I won't wear a black tie
and I won't wear a tie. So at't wear a black tie and I won't wear a tie
so at Black Tie
Affairs
I wear a Nehru
then all the
Hollywood women
who put the fun
together
he doesn't have
a jacket
I wish he'd say
don't say anything
to him
I think he'll get
pissed
and that's what
you know you've
made in Hollywood
because you will
when people won't
say what they
actually want
and they look at
you and smile
okay
they do that fake
oh okay
Sinbad's got his own thing.
There's no better feeling than knowing you've made people mad, but that they won't tell you about it.
And you sort of look at them like, yeah, I will get mad.
Yeah, I will.
Or you go like, what'd you say?
They go, no, I didn't know.
Who said it?
Janet?
She's fired.
I thought I heard something about my jacket on the way in.
Yeah.
Was there a problem?
And you have to test your power at all times in Hollywood.
That's the key to being an entertainer and moving up to a star.
You can be a nice person.
You know what happens when you're a nice person?
You don't get jacked.
You don't get private parking.
You don't get your own dressing room because they say, he's cool.
He doesn't need a dressing room.
No, he's real cool.
I've met him.
You got to be that person that will tear a place up.
Yeah, the last thing you want to be is cool.
Don't be cool.
You can be cool like Matthew
McConaughey cool, which we don't even know what that is.
We don't even know. We don't
know what that is. Yes, he
seems to be some kind of alien. It scares us.
It holds power over us and we're
afraid of it. If you seem like an alien, no one
understands what you're talking about, that's a way
to be cool. That's it. It's like Mork.
Exactly. Mork was
one of the most powerful people in Hollywood That's it. It's like Mork. Exactly. Mork was one of the most powerful people in Hollywood.
Thank you.
You remember.
Mork was it.
Yeah.
Well, my thing is, because I believe in space travel, I've been, well, I hate to even talk
about this, because not everybody has had that opportunity.
I've been taken up on a ship.
Sure.
Yes.
Yes, we talk about this all the time.
I've been taken up on a ship.
And most of the time, people get taken up on a ship is the people without the GED.
So I did break that mold.
Because you have the GED.
No, I have a legit.
You got the legit one.
I'm legit.
Yeah.
I have a cap and gown with the gold cord.
What do they do on the ship?
Man, we chill.
They play ping pong and stuff.
Look, they're not that much different.
They got a lot of arms and stuff, and they got great hand-eye coordination.
You can't beat them in video games.
So I'm just letting you know.
Don't take your Xbox.
Yeah, so are the video games more sophisticated up there?
No, they're still playing.
Basically working with what we are.
They're still doing Madden 2005.
Wow.
Oh, so they're behind.
They got some great, no, they got great weapons.
Their weapons are better than us, but the video games suck.
It's like they got good at that one, and they don't want to upgrade every year.
Well, you know what?
They just got tired of paying for the parts.
Because here we got a Home Depot.
We've got places, Best Buy.
They don't have that up there.
Right, yeah.
They got to make it out of a meteor or something.
You can't just buy stuff like that.
And we, as Americans and humans, take that for granted.
You don't think about that.
We're spoiled with the Home Depot.
It's this generation.
We're not carving a meteor. Yeah meteor yeah no instant gratification in this generation
it's selfies everybody gets a trophy yeah so we used to have to carve selfies on like cave walls
that's it you know our a loves jb yeah you know stuff like those were our selfies that was it
tree that was your instagram like hey man come with me you had to ride to the instagram now you
just send it to people.
Yeah, it took a little.
You had to take a little time to think about what you were going to make your selfie.
Like, now you was at the party.
You take a picture.
Now it's like, oh, man, you should have been there.
You got any pictures?
No.
Man, if you carried a camera in the 70s, what kind of doofus are you with a camera?
You have to unfold the big tripod.
Put the black hood over your head.
And get the magnesium. And people to unfold that big tripod, put the black hood over your head. And get the magnesium.
And people died
from the fumes.
It was very dangerous to take
a party photo back then. But I'm going to say something
just to you guys, if I can't give you any other knowledge.
Grown-up male selfies,
that's just not right.
If a person says, a grown man says,
I'm going to do a selfie with you, no man, get that camera to somebody else
and we'll take a picture standing here as men.
We're not doing a grown man selfie.
It seems like you're speaking from some experience.
Yeah, I've had some bad selfie grown man experiences.
Just bad.
Gotten roped into some of those.
Got some bad angles, cheek to cheek.
I was like, dude, oh, man, whoa.
Yeah, man, we got to get in.
I'm a camera dude.
Until you upgrade your camera, you shouldn't take any.
These are things that should be written down.
Or just get some kind of big extender.
Yeah, but that looks kind of, you see that?
The gold camera extender?
That's stupid.
Now you look like, okay, don't bring him anymore.
He can't ride with us.
Well, that says that you knew, that you were so sure that nobody was going to be with you
to take a picture, that you had to invest.
But you're a selfie professional.
You don't ever want to be a selfie professional, because that'd be like, dude.
You want to be like, oh, I usually don't do this.
It's like when your young guy trying to meet women.
And she goes, I don't usually do this.
You go like, oh, I don't usually do this either.
You're always going to be like, I don't usually get drunk.
Me neither.
I don't usually go to clubs.
Oh, God, me neither.
Yeah, it has to seem like an accident.
Everybody has to lie.
You got to lie.
But if you pull out the selfie rod, dude.
Yeah, you're a little too prepared if you've got a selfie rod.
What else you got in your backpack?
Yeah.
I've got a whole selfie lighting kit in my bag.
See, man?
See?
No.
Stop.
Well, just, you know.
You want it to look good. Yeah, it's got to look good, and that's just part Well, just, you know. He wants it to look good.
Yeah, it's got to look good, and that's just part of my brand, you know.
I mean, that's the way it's going.
That's the direction it's going.
And it's okay.
It's okay to disagree.
It's okay.
I mean, we're not even disagreeing.
I'm just telling you wrong.
See, disagreeing is what they would do.
You're just wrong.
See, it's like going to court.
We go to prison, and you disagree with the judge, but you're going to do some time.
You're going to do some time on that.
All right.
So you think he's going to go to jail for taking selfies?
With a light kit, not just taking selfies.
You put a light kit, that's three years automatic.
That's three years.
No probation.
In a bad jail.
That's some Lindsey Lohan-ish stuff.
She has been to jail.
White collar jails. Although she's gone. She lives in the country, right? You said it right. Lindsey's some Lindsay low-handed stuff. Not that, not those white-collar
jails.
Although she's gone,
she's living in the
country, right?
You said it right.
Lindsay's out of the
country?
No, she says she's
leaving America because
she hates, she's
watching the news and
she hates to have the
press.
Do you not watch
What Happened to
Princess Di?
She said she wants to
go there where they
have a normal life and
you can walk the
streets.
I said, oh, you
don't watch TV at all
or travel.
She's going to the place that invented.
Yes.
Paparazzi.
Yeah.
She's going to go to Italy.
Yeah.
No, they invented the palazzo.
Oh, that's what I'm thinking.
Paparazzi was old.
Paparazzi.
Which is pizza?
Pizza is like mad paparazzi.
Okay.
It's like they're so mad it just doesn't even.
Well, pizza came from paparazzi because cats would sit around and be hungry.
You see one slice, one slice.
Somebody said, why don't we put this in a circle?
Because people kept reaching over each other.
These are mad facts I know.
Mad facts, man.
Speaking of mad facts and things you know, part of why we were so excited to have you here is, well, let's face it, you invented comedy.
I was the first one
to do stand-up.
There were those
who did stand-up
in front of me,
but I kind of invented it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They didn't have a name for it.
They were stealing your idea.
You had suggested it.
And people would laugh
and not really know
what was happening to them.
Well, they were laughing,
but they weren't called comics.
They weren't called comedy.
They said,
that dude's funny.
I said,
he's a comedian.
Right.
They said, what?
And it caught, the phrase caught. And now everyone said, man, he's a comedian. He said, what? And it caught.
The phrase caught.
And now everyone is doing it.
Everybody's a comedian.
They all use the same language.
And I remember laughing being very scary before you started doing it because we didn't know why it was happening.
No one knew why.
Electricity was out there before Ben Franklin came out.
Well, well.
But his harness.
Not Ben Franklin.
Oh.
Okay. What are you? More like Sinbad. Well, well. But it's harnessing. Not Ben Franklin. Oh, okay.
What are you?
More like Sinbad.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, I suspected this. I don't like, you know, raining on somebody's parade.
I'm going to tell you, that's the first thing.
But let me tell you this.
He had a key.
He got electrocuted.
He didn't know what the hell happened to him.
He went into shock.
Right.
He just said hey man he just
figured this key he thought this key was electricity he kept taking his key different places
and you know i kind of found his papers i said you know he was dead of course by that time but i said
we can harness this sure and then this dude tesla's grandson kept talking stupid you know i
said why don't you build a car and i I never thought it was going to happen. Yeah.
I never thought it was going to happen.
I never saw that coming.
Never saw it.
Do you feel like if you had gotten a piece of comedy and electricity and cars, do you regret not having licensed some of these things?
Because they're everywhere now. You can't do everything for money.
You can't do everything for money, man.
That's what's wrong with this world.
People do everything for money. I wouldn't do everything for money, man. That's what's wrong with this world. People do everything for money.
I mean, I wouldn't mind just some acknowledgement.
Sure.
Just some people saying, hey, man, thank you for tinted windows.
It was hot in the car.
I wouldn't mind, hey, man, thank you for making the elevator up and down.
First elevator only went up.
And then it just never worked again.
It went up and they took steps down because people said, hey, man, why doesn't it go back down?
They said, we never thought about that because we're only tired going up.
You know, I've always kind of been a bilateral person looking at where we can go with this.
Well, and the problem with the elevator that only goes up is it's only one use.
Yeah.
I mean, that's a one-time thing.
But it's a great use.
Yeah.
When you got bags and packages.
What a ride.
Think about it.
It's a hell of a ride.
Well, you're always wondering, like, is this the biggest load I'm going to bring to my
fifth floor apartment?
I know.
Because, you know, if I'm going to get one shot.
Yeah, you get the one crack at it.
It does feel like some people are wasting their elevator rides now, and it used to be
that you really had to think about it.
I'm glad you said that.
I'm glad you said that.
Know what people do?
They sit there and they're intensely, oh, God, somebody else is stopping on the floor
before me.
Like, you own the floors.
Like, you got in the elevator, oh, I was going down to one.
You stopped at five.
You could have walked down like this.
And those kind of people, you just want to punch them in the eye.
You do.
Yeah.
And you do it sometimes.
No, man.
Not when the lights are on the elevator.
You can't do that because they identify you.
I've been through that.
So what do you do?
Do you spray the lights off?
If I tell you these things, then...
This is what we're doing.
We're dropping knowledge here.
Remember what we're doing.
We're dropping knowledge.
No, but forget it.
We won't say it, but...
Thank you.
But let's say, not you, but another guy,
he wants to punch a guy in an elevator,
and the lights are on.
What might he do?
Not you.
There's always a flicker switch in every elevator.
Okay, great.
You probably never paid attention to it, have you?
When you ride the next elevator, when you leave this building, if you're swinging horror
movies and it flickers before it goes out, well, I came up with that.
I came up with that.
Hey, I'm going to flicker this.
Oh, that's so scary.
Forget that.
I'm mad at you for that.
I didn't want to talk about that.
That was a whole different thing.
But there's a flicker switch in every elevator.
Remember if you've seen this, don't open this panel?
It says don't open this panel?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I'm the kind of person I have to open that panel.
You can't say, I have ADHD.
That's the opposite of what the panel says.
You can't say don't open this panel because there's something in there, obviously, that we need to get at.
Think about it if you're in an elevator and we get trapped in an elevator and we haven't opened that panel up yet.
I'm the only person, I've already opened the panel, so everybody in my elevator is safe.
But to say the elevator next to me, they're screaming and I'm like like, shh, calm down, we're going to get out of here.
Because it's a flicker panel.
What if a sign tells you to do something, like stop?
You have to be careful with that.
You have to be very careful with that, because it's interpretive.
You know, stop signs are interpretive.
Remember, when stop signs first came out, it was just an octagon.
They didn't put the word stop on it.
It was eight, because it was eight ways of looking at life.
It was actually a very Zen-type sign.
You have eight ways to go, eight choices, eight parts of our body, eight chakras.
So if you felt like you go through the stop sign, go.
But if you feel like something's coming, stop.
But then they put the word stop on it.
I said, damn, that's kind of right at me.
Right.
So why don't you take the edges off and make it round?
That was the end of the 70s, I feel like.
It was.
Yeah, when they finally put the stop on the stop sign.
When they put the stop on that sign.
Because it used to be so subjective.
It was Reagan.
Honestly, it was Reagan.
Mm-hmm.
Trickle down.
Reagan did everything to mess it up.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not trying to speak against Republicans, but he was.
He was one. Yes. He was one.
He was a Republican.
But if he'd been a Democrat, he would have jacked up.
If he'd been a Democrat, he would have jacked up.
But he was a Republican.
So I'm not saying Republicans.
I'm saying a dude who was a Republican because he had been a Democrat and black.
He still would have jacked up, but he was white and a Republican.
But he could have been a Democrat and black.
So I'm not trying to say, I'm not trying to put people in boxes.
Thank you for being brave enough to say that Reagan was a Republican.
There's not nothing to come on here and say something like that.
Because it is true.
And we're going to catch heat for it.
And, you know, we're willing to take on the brunt of that. And that is Sinbad saying that.
It's not us.
Oh, no.
We don't take that side.
Did you fuck up?
Yo, he did the punk move.
The hell?
I'm so sorry.
And he threw his hands up.
I'm so sorry.
It's not the voice, not the place of the podcast.
It's not a political show.
Yes, at the same time, we're willing to take the heat.
Sinbad's on Twitter if you want to communicate with Sinbad about his statement that Reagan
was a Republican.
We got to keep our commercial money.
I'm feeling, dude, I am not mad.
Sparkbox is a great toy business.
We've had our differences with Cards Against Humanity, but at the same time, we do need to keep the lights on.
I saw the cards.
I heard that one, the Cards Against Humanity.
Yeah, we've had that.
What the heck?
Dude.
I know.
They pay for a spot.
Right.
They wouldn't give you a spot.
This is crazy.
They paid them for a spot and said you can't run an ad
so there was no spot
can you
where is that
can you help us understand that
I mean I'm trying to wrap my head around it
no I'll wrap my head around it
give me that money
would you like more time
would you should have
take your time
you should have bought them block time
you should have sold them
block time
yeah
Matthew why don't you buy
our whole hour of podcasting
I'm worried that that's
what they did let them buy it that's scary i mean there's an ad that you haven't heard
that's on the front of this show that you're on right now they sell some your stuff some ebay
stuff with their spot double up that money it's troubling just you know we have i mean you at the
same time you're knocking Reagan.
At least people understood how business worked back then.
Who knocked Reagan?
This is not a political show.
Why would you bring that up?
Why would you bring Reagan's name up?
And that's Sean saying that.
Dude, that's crazy, Sean.
That's Sean speaking as a person and not a host of the show.
And Sinbad and Hayes are...
I think Brian Reagan is a great comic.
Why would you... No, I just woke up. I just woke up. And Sinbad and Hayes are- I think Brian Reagan is a great comic. Why would you-
No, I just woke up.
I just woke up.
I fell asleep and was sleep talking.
Did anything happen on the podcast while I was out?
Whoa.
Violence, dude.
Chill.
Oh, did something happen?
I fell asleep and I feel like I was talking in my sleep.
He started off so mellow.
I know.
Didn't he start off mellow?
But you know, a lot of mellow people-
It comes out of nowhere.
A lot of mellow people act like they're mellow.
Still waters.
But not- Still waters. But not.
Still waters run just all messed up.
Okay, man.
Coiled springs.
Sinbad, we've never done this before, but you've worked with- When someone says that, they've done it.
Well, you can go back and listen to this.
No, but he's right.
Yeah.
I feel like
If you really have never done it
You just let that speak for itself
Yeah
Yeah
Thank you
Thank you
Sinbad, we
It's just one of those things
You wouldn't have to tell people
You have to say somebody
You know, like
You wouldn't have to
Okay
I hate to admit this
I hate to tell you this
Oh, wait a minute
If you hate to tell me
Then why are you telling me?
Yeah, you're fully in control
Of whether you tell me or not
Then just don't do it
I'll do it again
I'll do it again I'll do it again.
I'll do it again.
Okay, do it again.
Yeah, lay it on us again. Sinbad, we've done this a bunch of times.
Every time.
Well, that's an overstatement.
Doesn't that feel like I love her the other way?
That's sarcasm.
That's sarcasm.
Speak on that.
It feels like you are being sarcastic.
I will speak the truth on that.
That's why most marriages and relationships fail.
Sarcasm.
Well, I'm sorry if I'm too fat to be in this dress.
Look, I didn't say that.
See, sarcasm has killed, has started more wars.
Sarcasm has started more wars.
It started, it was World War II.
World War II started with sarcasm.
All of that was like, man, I bet you we can take your country.
Bet you can't.
And then we're like, oops, I was just playing.
My bad.
They didn't have JK back then.
They couldn't say JK.
JK has ended a lot of wars.
Yes, that changed it.
Yes.
And emoticons.
Let's introduce Sinbad's daughter.
Would you like to get on the mic and introduce yourself?
That's a good point.
Hi, my name's Paige.
She did a radio voice.
Did you see the radio voice?
That's not how she sounded at all when she introduced herself. Hi, my name's Paige. She did a radio voice. See that radio voice? She's at the moon.
That's not how she sounded at all when she introduced herself.
I've sounded like this the whole time, guys.
The whole time.
And she's got her dog.
Let's all do that.
Hey, man.
I do.
This is Peanut.
Hey, Peanut.
He can't talk.
And they can't see him anyway.
And you can't see him.
Just imagine a really cute dog. He's protesting.
He will not speak to all dogs, at least free.
Is it a political statement?
To all dogs, at least free.
He will not.
Is he going to set himself on fire in this podcast?
Not me.
No, hopefully not.
This show doesn't get political.
His political move is just to leave you a package.
That's his move. Oh, that's political too?'t get political. Last time he did, it just got me. His political move is just to leave you a package. That's his move.
Oh, that's political, too?
That's political.
This show doesn't get political.
That's right.
I thought.
I thought that's what he said.
It's not the place of the show to be leaving dog packages.
Yeah.
Well, Cinemata, here's something we've done before, but maybe only once.
Okay.
We want to just go back through some people you've worked with in your career.
I've worked with everybody, so that's the best list.
Just do a rapid fire.
You give us a hot piece of goss about every person we name.
Or just like your honest opinion.
I want to speak truth, man.
I want to speak truth.
Should we name the segment before we do it?
Please.
Who framed Roger Rapid?
Fire questions.
Is that good?
I mean, does that feel right?
When they legalized dope in Denver,
I knew this was going to happen.
When they legalized dope in Denver,
I just said, this is going to trickle down.
Good titles for segments, what happened.
Yeah, man.
You knew people were going to come up with some good stuff.
I know, man.
And that was off the top of our head.
I mean, we didn't plan that. I could tell, man. You saw it were going to come up with some good stuff. I know, man. And that was off the top of our head. I mean, we didn't plan that.
I could tell, man.
You saw it.
Really?
Okay.
I saw it happening.
Yeah, you're here, but for people at home, yeah.
Because people are thinking we cut it together or something.
No.
Yeah, they think there was a long pause.
I can tell you right here, they don't.
I'm going to be honest with you.
That was not a clipped together thing at all.
That was one smooth move.
Thank you.
You heard it.
Yes.
He's dropping knowledge.
Dropping knowledge.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Man, you know, other than needing to work out, he was one of the weakest.
And I said, you need to train, man.
Why don't you train?
We were trying to do this movie.
I said, we're going to do this movie.
We're going to play superheroes.
Both of us have got to make this costume look good.
And I was not.
And he went through the whole fake Australian accent.
Man, he's from Cleveland.
People do not know.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is Arnold Stevenson from Shaker Heights.
Just look it up, man.
Look it up, man.
Wikipedia it, man.
Because he was like an actor first.
Method.
Method.
Method actor.
And he had just done a movie where he was,
Hunger Strike, whatever it was,
something happened in Cleveland.
The Browns were taken away or something.
And I said, dude, if you do not – if you do not – they were going to pad the costume.
I said, no, we don't do that.
What a movie that was, though.
You know, I had so much fun.
That was a good fun – it was a fun movie.
Yeah.
Went to Minnesota to shoot the movie because we needed to be in the snow.
It was the first early spring thaw they ever had in the history of Minnesota.
There was no snow.
We got there 20 degrees below zero.
The next week, it was about 30 degrees outside.
Snow was melting.
Trees were turning green.
Did they have to move Christmas to the spring for that movie?
Oh, no.
We actually, well, I should tell you, the Christmas parade in the downtown, that was
at Universal Studios Studios 175 degrees outside
everybody's wearing
winter coats
there's no snow there
it's cotton
it's
dude
it was
we were dying
my character
Dementor had that hat
with the water in it
the water started boiling
and he's laughing at me
I don't know why he's laughing
I don't know why he's laughing
I said what
you about to blow up
and I'm going
and I'm thinking
well man
okay I'll cut back on the sweets
and then he's like,
no, no. He's talking about the water on my head.
It was boiling inside
your brain helmet. In the helmet.
And that shows you they didn't care about me when they put that together.
Because there's ways to do that.
Cut it with a little alcohol, and it doesn't
boil at that temperature.
And we should specify, we haven't said the name of the movie. This is First
Kid. First Kid. No, that was
General Away.
But I think it was First Kid. I've seen the movie. This is First Kid. First Kid. No, that was... It's the only way. But I think it was First Kid.
I've seen the movie.
I told you, Denver, man.
Denver.
First Kid is the one where you and Schwarzenegger were super...
Arnold Stevenson.
I mean, let's call him by his name.
Arnold Stevenson.
It's Turbo Man is like First Kid.
No, that's the only way.
No, but it's the first toy for the kid.
Oh, the first toy for the kid.
Yes.
That's a better name.
First Kid.
First Toy for Kid. Number one toy for kid first. Oh, get toy first. the Kid. Yes. That's a better name. First Toy for Kid.
Number one toy for kid.
Oh, Get Toy First.
Get Toy First.
Get Toy First.
Get Toy First.
Explain what the movie is in the title.
I'm glad you said that because that's what I can't.
What we call it is Jingle All the Way.
What we call it is Get Toy First.
Get Toy First.
And then, of course, they had one of the little panels of people like, well, we all thought
about it.
It was nine of us.
I said, y'all came up with Jingle All the Way.
Who's jingling and what way do we go?
If you can show me
the jingle and the way,
I'm down with it.
At least Jingle All The Way
to get the toy for you.
Jingle something,
at least have some keys.
Somebody should have some keys.
When you get close to the toy,
they would shake the keys.
Yeah, maybe they're a janitor.
They got one of those
big key rings on them.
They got a little bit of a limp
and the keys keep shaking.
My character should have been a janitor.
My character should have been a janitor.
He's got the big key ring.
He's jingling.
That's a movie then. That's part two. That's how it works. That character's been a janitor. My character's been a janitor. He's got the Bikini ring. He's jingling. That's a movie then.
That's how it works.
That's part two.
Could be.
That's part two.
Brandy.
Brandy.
Brandy.
I've been knowing Brandy since she was a little girl.
When they first met.
Ray J, her brother, played the son on my TV show.
Yes.
Oh, you're talking about the drink.
I'm sorry.
There was a lot of Brandy.
I'm sorry.
I was just wrong.
I didn't want to say anything. It's fine. It it's fine you went on a little bit of a detour
we didn't know we'll cut that out but if you want to talk about moesha you can gossip about the
drink brandy rehab the rehab work i'm gonna tell you something you just work the program
the program will work if you work the program yeah the program works uh-huh you're talking
about the film the program about the college football works. You're talking about the film, The Program, about the college football team?
No, I'm talking about the program I went through.
I'm not ashamed.
I know you're trying to come for me.
I got it.
I love it.
I love you for it.
I'm not ashamed.
I went through it.
And, you know, I worked the program, and the program works.
And it's a program just so you learn how to make brandy at your house?
No, you learn if you're an alcoholic or you have an addiction of type.
But, like, I learned from some of the characters
on Friends, it's not our fault.
And that's why I thought,
I'll go back to drinking.
It's really not our fault.
It's a disease.
And so it's a disease,
so I'm going to get a prescription.
Which Friends character?
It was all of them.
It was a subtext on that show
that all those characters
were in the program and the characters on the show that all those characters were in the program.
And the characters on the show, I think, too.
Yeah, in real life afterwards, too.
Because they're method actors.
That's right.
They were method actors.
Yes, that's right.
They stayed in it for the next, until now, I guess.
Yeah.
Kenan Thompson.
You've got to respect that.
Kenan, man.
Kenan and Cal.
Man, you know what?
The good thing about Kenan.
Just Kenan.
Listen.
Okay. We've been down the road with Cal. Well, how about Cal, man? You don't need to tell us anything about Cal. Man, you know what? The good thing about- Just Keenan. We, listen. Okay.
We've been down the road with Cal.
What happened with Cal, man?
You don't need to tell us anything about Cal.
What happened?
There's a little bit of beef with Cal and we don't have to get into it.
Get into beef, man.
No.
I believe we can heal the wounds.
We start-
Heal the wounds.
We start Hollywood Handbook, right?
How much later?
Less than 10 minutes later, a podcast shows up on iTunes, Kel's Hollywood Handbook.
Yeah.
Eight minutes later.
He did his first.
I don't know because it –
No, I'm pretty sure he did his first.
Well, there's time stamps on the recording.
No, I'm going to say it.
There's time stamps on the recording.
Because a black man in America cannot get the same kind of equipment.
I'm going to say it right now.
He was held back.
Kel was held back.
So when he was on Good Burger, he was already – He was held back. He he was on good burger he was already he was held
back he was already he was already he was he was starting the kale's hollywood handbook well no
he had him an apology well hold up hold up he started let's tell the truth because she was
there it was actually a hollywood handbook because there was no internet big he had a handbook where
he would okay interview people he said one day i gotta get this out i have to get this out sinbad
i said i don't know how you're going to do this, man.
This internet thing is going to blow up.
Why don't you try it that way?
I said, before two white dudes come up with the Hollywood thing, because they'll take it.
One eighth Native American.
Like they took the country from the Indian.
You know what?
Never mind.
I'm not going to go on.
It's political.
Well, he'd love to talk about that because he's one eighth Native American.
What part?
What Indian?
His head.
The tribe. The tribe.
The Indian head tribe.
Yeah, the one with the
whole headdress and all the...
They do the dance.
They stomp around.
The earth is so...
The earth is huge for us.
Love the earth.
I can't wait till they find you.
I feel bad.
Now I feel bad about this Kel thing because we ruined him.
Oh, yeah.
We really buried him.
Well, you know, podcast copyright laws.
We took it all, man.
Like, we took all his stuff.
All his podcast rights, yeah.
Oh, that's Paige.
Yeah.
I know.
Now he has to, like, throw orange soda parties.
Man, that's jacked up.
Well, we got to get that.
Kel, man.
We never wanted that.
We got to get that choice a little bit.
I'm here for you, Kel.
Kel, I'm here for you, man.
I'm here with the man that took your stuff.
I'm here with the man.
And if you want to text me about what you want me to do, it's done.
Just tell me what you want done, Kel.
Does he have your number?
He does.
Okay, all right.
Should we call him right now? Text me, Kel. What about Kenan? Kenan's my boy, Kel. Does he have your number? He does. Okay, all right. Should we call him right now?
Text me, Kel.
What about Kenan?
Kenan's my boy, man.
Kenan, I'm surprised Kenan didn't jack you up.
That I have to be the one.
Kenan should have been there before me.
No, Kenan, I think he's a little scared of us.
Why?
Just physically.
Just like we're two big guys and we just know how to handle ourselves.
I think Kenan would jack you up because he spent three years in the Shireland Temple.
Well, at the same time, you take one look at us and you know we're two guys who've had a bit of a rough and tumble past.
I thought you hood.
But I heard this about-
That's what I thought.
Straight out of Compton.
Like the voices are deceiving when you see it.
It's like all those teardrop-
It feels a little hood, yeah. Yes, it's like all those teardrop it feels a little hood yeah
it's not a visual
medium podcasting
people don't know
it really is nice
of you to come on
and say that
and explain it to me
no it is
like you guys
they're very big
and scary
like not just
real muscles
but like prison
muscles it feels like
yes not like
those fake
like bodybuilding
no not the glamour
muscles
where they're not
practical strength
they got pilates muscles.
It's like that, you know, you had to
avoid being shanked.
Well, they're punching muscles. I mean, let's just say it straight up.
That is what they're for. It's
exclusively the punching muscles. And is that like
three teardrop tattoos?
She's referencing Hayes. That's some teardrop tattoos.
It's one. What is it?
Sleep in his eyes.
It's a tattoo of Calvin peeing that I just put on my face.
And then on the other side, he was eating a chocolate sundae,
and I think you splashed some of it on your face.
Yeah, and that changes everything.
It sort of looks like teardrops.
You know what?
If you go to prison, don't wash your face.
Keep that.
Keep that.
They like the Calvin thing?
Calvin and Hollywood is funny. They hate the Jets. It's Calvin peeing on the Jets logo. prison don't wash your face keep that keep that they like those the calvin thing calvin if they see there's a chocolate chip dude dude you want to stay in solitary dude you don't want
them to know it's a chocolate chip you don't want those chucks yeah whatever you do not tell anyone
what do i say it is no there's a birthmark anything anyone it's a chocolate chip. You don't want them to know it's a chocolate chip. Well, what do I say it is? No. It says the birthmark.
Anything.
Anything, anything but a chocolate chip.
You get some super glue and you glue that chip to your face until your time is over.
It should be a tear drop.
Well, I could just get rid of it before I go to jail.
Yeah, you don't want to go to jail.
How about this?
You have like notice before you go to jail?
Enough time to take a chocolate chip off my face.
No, page, page, page.
White people get notice.
Oh.
See, see?
See, they didn't know.
Wait, black people don't even get enough notice to remove a chocolate chip from their face?
They're just suddenly in jail?
We don't know we're in jail.
We're sitting there, what?
We're there.
I thought we, what?
Someone told us we were going to six flags.
Yeah, you guys get tricked into going into jail.
That's right. They'll tell you you're going. Yeah, it's like, oh, you want to go to six flags. Yeah, you guys get tricked into going into jail. That's right.
They'll tell you you're going...
Yeah, it's like, oh, you want to go to six flags.
Get in there.
You won the raffle here.
Your prize is right this way.
Get in this...
We don't get political or racist on this show.
No, we don't talk about any of that stuff.
It's not your fault what color you're born.
It's not.
No.
You know, you can't go like, mom, damn.
Really?
White?
You can't do...
You can't, mom, you push me out black.
You can't.
You can try,
but that's,
I've argued with my parents.
I actually did it.
I was Filipino when I was born.
That's right.
Our engineer,
Brett's parents
were Chinese or something.
Korean.
Not to talk.
I'm telling the story,
not for you to tell the story.
Don't get on your mic.
Don't pipe your mic.
Don't push your mic up.
Go ahead,
take your hand away from the button. Please take your thing away, man. Thank you, man. I thought it was for decoration. tell this right. Don't get on your mic. Don't pipe your mic. Don't push your mic up. Go ahead. Take your hand away from the button.
Please take your thing away, man.
Thank you, man.
I thought it was for decoration.
No, man.
Nothing worse when an engineer
starts pushing his volume up.
Right.
That's probably the number one pet peeve.
I'm just saying,
you don't want that to start happening now
because then he'll start pushing
and we're not asking questions.
He'll just like,
hey,
and you're like,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, chiming in.
What was that?
It's like not everyone gets a voice.
Isn't it funny about engineers?
Thank you. They always thank you. They think they have something to say. Yeah. chiming in. What was that? It's like not everyone gets a voice. Isn't it funny about engineers? Thank you.
They always thank you, Paige.
They think they have something to say.
Yeah.
Like, what is it about engineers?
Like, their personality, they think they have something to say.
Because they control the saying.
See, when you control the saying, sometimes you think you have something to say.
Because technically, they're controlling the saying with the technology.
It's a delusion.
Yeah.
It actually is a mental condition, I think.
Yeah.
And we like to say, say it inside your head.
Oh, I like that.
That would be nice for you.
Hold up.
Let him say it.
That's cool.
Yeah.
And I can see you thinking about it.
That's cool.
That's cool.
I like that.
And I can tell I don't want to hear it, but I like that you feel better.
But I feel good that he expressed it.
Well, that's great.
That's the main thing.
Get it out.
But not vocally.
Yeah, keep it in, but yeah, get it out.
Yeah, get it through.
I'm not trying to start a discussion.
I mean, y'all might have a little discussion when we leave.
Y'all might have to work this out.
I'm just saying, you know.
Yeah, it's going to take more than one discussion.
It's been a long road.
All right.
I had heard that Kenan was at the Shaolin Temple, I think, for three years while he was still on SNL.
Yes.
He would go on Thursday.
He'd go to Temple on Thursday.
I thought it was during the Obama election, and they let the other black guy do all the skits.
Oh, that's right.
Fred Armisen.
That's right.
Yes, Fred.
Oh, I love him.
The other black dude.
So funny.
Then they got mad at me.
They got mad at me because I said, they can't get a black guy to do Obama.
And they said, well, that guy looks kind of black.
I said, really?
Really?
But you have to admit, he did sort of look like he was black.
Yeah, if you put blackface on him.
Yeah, with the black makeup.
That's what I'm saying.
Yes, with the blackface makeup.
And he sold it.
Anyone can look like him.
Like Charlie Chan looked Chinese after they did what they did to him.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, we're arguing in agreement here.
That'll stop it.
We're going there.
We're going down that road.
Hey, they're not the place of this show to say what color anybody is.
That's right.
Engineer Brett, can you turn my computer sound up, please, so I can play a song on it?
And not responding vocally.
Do you see him respond? Do you see him respond? What did he say? Oh. Oh. Do you see him? Oh. Yeah, I can play a song on it. And not responding vocally. Do you see him respond?
Do you see him respond?
He's about to say, oh.
Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah, I can do that.
Oh, you want my help?
We'll know you can do it by you just do it.
Yes.
You're brilliant.
That's smart, man.
That was good.
And so it's up now?
I don't know.
The Popcorn Gallery.
That song means that it's time for the Popcorn Gallery.
Sinbad, you know what this means, but for our new fans that we get from you,
Sean and Hayes let the viewers ask the questions.
It's not the peanut gallery because it's about movies.
And movies is the reason it's called the popcorn gallery.
Yes.
And Sean and Hayes letting viewers do it.
Yes.
Now the question's, yeah, now it's time for the Popcorn Gallery.
I like the sound with the water pouring.
That was deep, man.
Do you always do that at the exact same time when that comes on?
Because that was, dude, keep that sound.
Dude.
Just a cosmic coincidence.
Man, you're musical.
You're musical.
No, you needed to take credit for that.
You got to.
Okay, well. Take it, man. Now that I think about it, I think I did mean to do it. Your musical. No, you needed to take credit for that. You got to. Okay, well.
Take it, man.
You know, now that I think about it, I think I did mean to do it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You know, as you asked me, it's like, oh, yeah, wait a minute.
I did mean to do that.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
You poured it, man.
The popcorn thing was moving.
The little drink was pouring.
It sounded like someone opened a soda.
And Scoop Troopers at home, even I can learn.
And I should write it down because I got to stop being so humble
about my inherent musicality.
Thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
Squeaky wheel gets the grease.
So we reach into the popcorn bag
to get a question.
So he played you off like that?
Like you're talking
about what you did?
You know how people
downplay you?
How people try to hold you back?
Well, I need to get mine.
Okay.
Ow! Sharp popcorn. That's a sound drop. Well, I need to get mine. Okay. Ow!
Sharp popcorn.
That's a sound drop. Yeah, that's a sound drop.
You know, they got these special effects CDs.
I ain't trying to start no mess. Look, my engineer,
look, I ain't trying to start nothing. It's our friend.
That was recorded by Sean's friend from
high school. My friend from high school.
He sends us our popcorn sound effects
and they're really good. We're trying to
give him a hand. So he did a good job, right?
So he was one of those kids in high school?
It's okay.
You know.
Yeah.
He was the funny one in high school, but he didn't totally know why.
Okay.
This question is from Shosho Bro.
Sinbad, why can some of the guys grow a mustache and I can't?
You don't have hair.
Dang, dude.
Is he just jacked up?
Ain't nothing worse than a jacked up person.
I mean, I'm not trying to put him down, show show bro.
But you know, man, these things are puzzling you.
You're never going to have a woman.
You're never going to have family.
I'm just saying it.
You need to know that.
Just like people need to know the first week of American Idol they can't sing.
Those things correlate.
Our listeners have been referred to as jacked up.
I've heard that before about some of them are pretty jacked up.
I felt there was a lot of pain, though, in that question.
Okay, now back up.
I'm sorry, then.
Speak on that.
I just feel like Shosho Bro.
I feel like Shosho Bro really wants to know, like, why can't I grow a mustache?
Like, I've gone everywhere.
I've asked everyone.
And now, Simbad, I'm sitting here, and you're my last resort.
Like, someone help me.
Because all I want to do is participate in November, and I can't.
It's hard to be in a relationship with a woman because you went way too far.
It was so deep.
It was so.
See, that's why men just say, well, I can't grow a mustache.
You can't.
We accept it.
But women, you see how you went to the feeling part? I felt this pain. What was so... See, that's why men just say, well, I can't grow a mustache. You can't. We accept it. But women...
You see how you went to the feeling part?
I felt this pain.
What did I tell you about that?
Are you calling show-show bro a woman?
No, I'm saying my daughter went real deep.
Are you calling your daughter a woman?
I am.
That's a big step for you guys.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
Finally admitting it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it right here.
I'll say it out loud.
So nice to be here and see that.
You're a woman.
What a nice moment.
That's not the main goal of this show, but it is something nice that happens sometimes.
I'm coming out the closet.
Let's reach to the back and get another question.
Oh, down!
Usher!
My popcorn is too sharp!
Good job, Mark.
Yeah, you had a lot of fun with that answer, man.
Yeah, I'm having fun playing those sound drops.
Yeah, you're having a lot of fun playing those sound drops.
Yeah, Mark, he's got some theme going this week.
That's crazy, man.
Sharp popcorn, it's a whole story.
He must be related.
You sound a lot like.
I don't hear it.
This question's from Greggy.
Sinbad, did Ed McMahon have a firm handshake?
Well, only if he uses right hand.
Sometimes he uses left hand, which I never understood.
But that's how you know you're going to lose.
If he shook your hand with his left hand, it was a signal.
I didn't pick it up until the show I lost.
And he shook my hand and said, oh, this is a setup.
He's trying to let me know.
Don't get excited and reach for the envelope.
The fix was in.
And I didn't know that, so I reached for the envelope.
If you look back on the championship night, I reached for the envelope,
and they said,
ladies and gentlemen,
the winner is John Kassir.
And I had to turn my reach for the envelope
into a handshake.
But you can see on my face,
I really thought that was my money.
And that's where the trouble with Brandy came.
And that's when it all started.
And that's how life changed.
It was different.
I hope that,
is there another question in there?
Don't cut your finger.
Oh, I better check
Oh thank god
It finally wasn't that
Show
Ouchie
Here's a question
From Toby Keith Sweat
What?
You can't be both man
You gotta pick country or R&B Are they swearing? Yeah man you can't No these, man. You got to pick country or R&B.
Are they swear names?
Yeah, man, you can't.
No, these are all real names.
Forum names.
Yeah, but they're real names.
Yes, they have to use their license to make their forum ID.
Sinbad, both parts of your name are scary, Sin and Bad.
What's the deal?
Because the middle name is Handsome.
Oh, that's not very scary at all that's right
that's why i dropped that out i had to drop send bad handsome bad handsome bad so your middle name
is actually inside your first name yes but you just don't pronounce it when you say it no but
that's how middle names were originated it was like the middle of your name. She's listening to me speak.
It was like,
oh, it's a name in the middle
of your name. You take a pause.
Back in the day, they used to
this is Princess So-and-so
of Fortenburg,
daughter of Lord Tyron.
Whoa, whoa. Where did Paige go?
She went to school. She went to school. It's like. Where did Paige go? She went to school.
She went to school.
It's like a different voice in here.
She went to school in Oxford.
She spent years in Oxford.
That's unbelievable.
Paige was talking and suddenly I'm watching Game of Thrones or something.
Well, she's an Oxford grad.
I am.
I moved to London a while ago to get away from all the paparazzi.
Yes.
Yeah.
Not the country.
Boy, I'm still steamed from when Hayes tried to steal my thunder before.
Man, you should be upset.
You know, I'm just really letting it sink in.
And I keep trying to think about, oh, I'll just move on.
Yeah.
You know, but it doesn't make sense to do it.
We got to hash this out.
The wound goes deeper.
No, but you know, same bad, you know, like Sean and I are friends.
We're very good friends.
But a podcasting is war., yeah. Podcasting is war.
It changes.
Right?
It changes you.
When we're in here, in the ring, we're not, it's not the same.
But you know, it's not really a ring.
You have a table.
See, I think the problem with you is you see it as a ring, and we see it as a table with
a lot of Velcro and markers and things and pens.
Yeah, it's the family supper table, you know. Yeah, it's the family supper table.
Yeah, it's the family supper table.
You've seen a ring.
Did you think it was a ring?
Wow.
And people don't know this from listening.
Wow.
The table is covered in Velcro.
Wow.
See, that's that sound effect.
Mark CD.
Yeah, that was the dog getting pulled off the table.
The dog got stuck to the Velcro on the table.
Should we let Peanut, I guess Peanut doesn't make any noise,
maybe you just rub him against the mic.
So he can have it.
Hold it still.
And that's the sound, and he's getting a good
itchy.
He's not getting peanut.
He has nothing to say.
He's not ready.
But now he is famous, though.
He is the man. You heard it here first, people. He has nothing to say. He's doing a little snuffles. He's not ready. But now he is famous, though. He is famous.
He is the man.
You heard it here first, people.
He's the man.
You are the man.
Be proud.
Reach back into the bag.
Uh-oh.
Oh, you get the extra large one.
It's a big bag.
It's a super-sized bag.
Mark's budget is getting bigger.
That wasn't so bad.
Cool.
That was cool.
Sinbad, here's a question from Agada.
Agada DeVito? Yes. Sinbad, here's a question from Agada. Agada DeVito?
Yes.
Sinbad, what happens when you die?
When I die or when someone else dies?
It says when you die, so I guess you.
Well, since I've died twice on Wikipedia, see, I'm glad you asked this question.
When you die on Wikipedia, you change your Twitter name.
When you die, you change your Twitter handle, you change your Facebook page. So when you die, you change your social media.
It's a chance to come back and start all over fresh.
So if you're blessed to die on Wikipedia, now we're talking about the true death, the true blood, true death, or we're talking about the Wikipedia death?
What's the difference these days?
Oh, yeah.
The true death of true blood?
Do you watch true blood?
Oh, hold up.
Wait.
Is this a walkout moment?
Are you going to walk out?
Are you going to storm out?
Y'all don't...
Is that why you took the seat right next to the door?
You don't watch True Blood?
That could be pretty powerful.
No, no.
No, I watch it.
I love it.
Did you like the last episode?
Yes.
Did you like the last episode?
Oh, the last episode.
It's amazing.
With the blood?
With Snooki was Snooki.
Yes, she hated the garlic, right?
She couldn't be anywhere near it.
And her man.
Bart Simpson.
Beauregard.
Oh, Bart Simpson.
Yeah, he didn't want her to have a cow.
What kind of a grown man doesn't watch True Blood?
Yeah, great question.
I don't even know.
Engineer Brett probably.
It's probably Engineer Brett.
If he can talk, we probably can find out.
Yeah, well.
Since he can't talk, we'll never know.
No way to know for sure.
We'll never know.
And to be honest, it wouldn't be that interesting to know either way.
Ooh.
I might have spoke on that.
Sinbad, thank you so much.
Yes.
For joining us on the show.
We're done?
Oh, so True Blood threw you off?
My bad.
I'm bad, man.
So you don't watch True Blood and it threw you off?
My bad.
We don't go.
I know you did Never Not Funny with Jimmy Pardo, but we don't have his budget to.
We don't have the tape budget.
We just can't run for as long as-
Oh, you just go 70s tape?
Did he go 70s tape on me?
We can't.
Did he just do the 70s tape?
We're on the real-
I think he did.
You're on the one-inch tape?
You got the entire machine?
I see, okay.
I didn't mean to go 70s tape on you, Sinbad.
Okay, man.
I don't even see him.
I think he wrote 70s tape.
I don't see him once in a while.
I'm so sorry for going 70s tape on you.
And, Hayes, what did I make you promise me before Sinbad came in? That I wouldn't go 70s tape on him. That you wouldn't go 70s tape. I'm so sorry for going 70s tape on you. And Hayes, what did I make you promise me before Sinbad came in?
That I wouldn't go 70s tape on him.
That you wouldn't go 70s tape on him.
And who doesn't listen to you or give you credit?
Well, I guess it's my old friend Hayes.
That's true.
He stole your thunder and didn't even come back with his own.
Didn't come back.
Thunder and lightning.
Y'all could have been like thunder and lightning, but you're like thunder.
Nothing. Oh, no. Thunder and just old Ben Franklin's Keith. Old Ben Franklin's Keith. Yeah. You're like thunder and lightning, but you're like thunder and nothing.
Oh, no.
Thunder and just old Ben Franklin's key.
Old Ben Franklin key.
Yeah.
Sticking his key in the lamp and nothing happens.
That's a good callback.
I don't even have callbacks that good.
No, man.
Anyway, thanks for coming, Sinbad.
Don't be depressed, man.
Did anybody buy the Pro version this week?
Well, maybe you could say something good about me.
Hey, man, you know, I can't believe that you had me here.
It changed my life.
Thank you.
It did change your life, didn't it?
It changed my life.
It changed my life.
Does anybody buy the Pro version this week, guys?
Yeah.
Somebody must have bought the Pro version, one of our listeners.
Who's that guy who's new who posted a question at the very end?
Right, yep.
I know Jesse.
Who's going to get there first?
It's not, oh, jeez.
Is it a pro version of an app?
It's a pro version of our-
Tugues.
Tugues.
It's a pro version of our podcast where people can-
People pay a little more and get the real-
And they actually get to show?
Yeah.
So the pro version, they get to show?
Well, they get extras.
They'll get a home visit from you or something.
Yeah.
That they'll do. They'll get a home visit from you or something that they'll do.
Fun little prizes.
And Tugues this week also gets – this is just for Tugues.
Okay.
But you're going to say how you really feel about Dan Aykroyd.
Man, Dan – I'm saying when we did White Lightning, what Baryshnikov, he didn't – he wasn't much of a dancer.
I'm going to tell you something. I was,
I didn't know why he was in the movie.
I knew I could dance.
I did ballet.
I did,
I was elite.
But,
Ackroyd,
he did do Canadian ballet,
which is stripping,
which I did know that's a code word
for strippers,
Canadian ballet.
And God,
to have a naked man
while we're trying
to do this movie,
Ackroyd,
I'm just,
look,
I'm going to let some of that go.
It was a traumatizing
time for me. Bye!
Bye!
Earwolf!
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The wolf dead.
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