Hollywood Handbook - Stefani Robinson, Our Close Friend
Episode Date: September 10, 2018The Boys help STEFANI ROBINSON fix her TV show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. ...
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
So it's me, it's Luke, Null, and Linda Hunt. And we are going to build a gingerbread version of Falling Water by Frank Lloyd Wright.
And we're in the design phase.
And it's debate.
It's what's going to be the water?
And it's, well, what about these candy ribbons?
And it's, well, what about these Sour Punch straws?
And it's, no, it can't be that.
And that's Linda.
And I'm starting to get frustrated because the competition is in an hour.
Wow.
But you can't skip the design phase.
No.
I've gone into those cold before and it never ends up looking like any of the buildings.
It's not the spot you want to play jazz in.
Thank you.
You really do need to write out the sheet music and get every note.
So, you know, I'm going out and asking the judges if I can get more time.
Luke's crying.
The competition hasn't started, but the judges are there well uh i guess sorry i
thought you'd done one of these then with the ones i know you just have done you said it like
you had done it when the competition begins that's when the judges are available for questions and do
they not exist prior to that are they they just material just materialize in the room for the competition,
but they're not ever in the building or they don't have a phone before or that they're not
maybe a close friend of yours who you actually are tight with because you're actually friends
with basically everyone in this town. See, thank you. I prefer to go into these competitions
without that advantage. I just want to be evaluated on the work. I wish that was still possible for me.
I remember years ago when I started out and I really knew that people were judging my gingerbread
architecture for the architecture itself and not just doing their buddy a favor. But unfortunately,
I have a very good personality and people really like hanging out with me. And that has had some consequences that
I couldn't control. So, you know, which sort of, I guess, sets up the story, which is we wound up
walking out with basically just a shoebox full of crackers and we took first place.
Wow. Why were those even supplied?
No, no. Luke had those those it was his lunch oh yeah uh so you know he was mad but i was going like buddy the prize is like a better lunch so like why you know it's
even worth the risk yeah you can always get the crackers back.
It's a marshmallow test.
That's exactly right.
It's the marshmallow test.
You know who would have failed that?
Who?
Probably Engineer Devin.
Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names in the Red Carpet Line Back Hallways of this industry we call showbiz. We have a nice little cozy room today of a lot of friends.
Engineer Devin, first time doing the engineer for us.
First time being an engineer.
And he comes in here and says, well, I've actually done a lot of engineering before
in this very fake way.
Yeah.
In this way that I would have believed he had done engineering before
if he had said it any other way.
Yes.
Just, you're so exposed.
Do you know anything about playing poker games?
I'm familiar with the concept, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
You actually don't play the cards, Devin.
You play the man.
He said it in the same way just now that he said that he had done engineering before.
Which I love because now the audience can hear it.
And if we have any card sharps at home, they can play along.
Because I need to only look in your eyes to know exactly what you hold, Devin.
And you should fold.
Talk a little bit.
You say you should stop doing, stop engineering.
Get out now.
Just leave.
No one has been hurt.
That's what I was thinking.
The earwolf is still intact.
It's safer for us to do it ourselves.
Absolutely.
So you may want to leave,
but if you insist on sticking around,
please introduce our guest.
Oh, me?
Yeah, of course.
Okay, sure.
Of course.
I thought you'd done this before.
Have you never engineered before?
I thought that was a host task,
the introduction.
Well, we know you thought that now.
Well, I was wrong, obviously. Yeah. Well, welcome to the introduction. Well, we know you thought that now. Well, I was wrong, obviously.
Well, welcome to the show.
We've got...
Is that what you were looking for?
I'm looking for a little more.
The guest's name would be nice.
No, I was checking as we're going along.
That's all happening.
I hope you're planning to edit this part out.
Let's proceed directly
to the guest's name. Come on.
We got Stephanie Robinson. Thank you!
Thank you! Very exciting.
Hi, Stephanie. Hi!
Stephanie, run us through
the old CV real quick.
The old CV. Boom, boom, boom.
Hit us with the creds. The creds.
I'm a television writer.
I've written for shows...
Let's see, Atlanta, probably top of the list.
Yikes.
Just alphabetically.
Starting there.
Start with the A's.
Going down from there.
All right.
Down from there.
A little show, a little canceled show called Man Seeking Woman.
Okay.
And a show that actually.
I love trippy shit, so I liked it. You like that show? Yes. I love that show.
And then I've
written for a show that was cancelled
before we were
ever on the air
called Deadpool.
He's actually
stopped by a studio before
Deadpool. Yeah. Really? Friend of the show.
Yeah. Deadpool. And my understanding
from him is that the show
was cancelled because he did
end up escaping from the TV.
Oh, sure. I mean, you know,
that sounds about right. That he busted out of the screen
of the TV. And it seems like that was his plan
all along. And then I believe he busted out,
came straight to our studio, and started making some
double entendres that you did not
want to have told in front of your children necessarily.
He's famous for that.
He's incorrigible.
Scoundrel.
What was it like working with him?
You know, he's a character.
Okay, sounds like there's a little bit of tension there.
I don't want to...
I know you
don't want to say this, but did he pretend his sword was his
wing? Yeah, I mean...
The workplace has changed a little bit
in a way where Deadpool
has not necessarily caught up
to the new rules. No,
he's not really sort of up to speed
with what's happening in the media and. No, he's not. I mean, he's not really sort of up to speed with what's happening in the media and, you
know, the climate, if you will.
I mean, you said earlier that, you know, before it even came out, Deadpool is canceled.
But I would also say Deadpool is canceled, sis.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, Deadpool is canceled.
I mean, some of this stuff, you can't do it anymore.
So, you did a big Deadpool.
I did a big Deadpool.
But if we could back up, you started out by talking about Atlanta.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
And I think that's kind of why we're here.
Isn't it?
Oh, yeah.
Isn't it really?
Sure.
Bit of an emergency podcast in a way.
One of the more urgent ones we've ever done.
Mm-hmm.
We have been sort of monitoring the situation over there.
Mm-hmm.
Watching the show.
Mm-hmm.
Taking notes.
Yep.
Okay.
And sort of knowing eventually at some point someone would come to us
and say
give us a hand here
which you have now done
sure
you reached out
and said Sean and Hayes
can you fix this show?
it has so many great pieces
the bones are incredible
it's really there's a lot of potential there,
but it's absolutely insane, and no one knows what's going on.
Okay.
Yeah.
It needs a bottom up.
It's a knockdown.
It's a knockdown renovation.
The foundation's there.
Oh, yeah.
But everything else, we just got to go, wait.
And the location is good. Oh, yeah. But everything else, we just got to go, wait. And the location is good.
The time slot.
Oh, so not the location, just the time slot.
When I talk about location in reference to television, that means the time slot.
Okay.
Yes.
Hayes is always trying to find his location in the fourth dimension time.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
He sort of transcended a lot of the other physical stuff we talk about.
Do you want to get into any of your new meditation techniques or anything?
I mean, I know you've been meaning to bring it up on the show that you've sort of left
the physical plane and that you travel essentially.
I astral project.
Okay.
Yeah.
which you can do.
You take out all the cleaning products from under the sink.
You go in there.
Oh, you go in there.
Yeah.
Okay.
You shut the door.
It's dark.
Still very fumey.
Absolutely.
From the products. Okay.
And pretty soon you blast off into outer space. very fumey from the products.
And pretty soon you blast off into outer space.
You're looking down at the
sink pretty soon.
You project above so you can look
into the sink.
And then you just fly around and spy
on your friends. Can you clean the sink or can you not
touch anything? While you're under
there? Well, it's under the sink.
Yeah, but you're saying you look into
the sink. Oh, so when I'm projecting,
can I be in the sink?
I'm looking in the sink and I go, oh, there's a freaking apple
core in there. That's when I get some of my
just, I'll do all
kinds of little chores. Yeah, that's
really helpful. When I'm astral projecting.
And for anybody who doesn't have a big enough under the
sink, you can do this with just a paper
bag and some paint thinner.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, you really can travel to all these amazing places.
And it's, you know, people think traveling is so expensive.
Yeah.
And time-consuming.
And in fact, it's really easy.
Yeah.
But just astral project.
Yeah.
And you can go look at all your friends.
Mm-hmm. You can look at them in the nude. Yeah. But just astral project. Yeah. And you can go look at all your friends. Mm-hmm.
You can look at them
in the nude.
Okay, well.
I spied on Engineer Devin
in the nude.
Oh.
Has he engineered before?
Do you know that?
So,
from what I saw,
no.
Okay.
Yeah, that's not what
engineering looks like.
Talk about exposed.
If that's what you think
engineering is, Devin
Please don't engineer in here
I have a degree in it
Okay, talk about that
All these new engineers
And they're coming at us with their degrees
This other one
Says that she's got a BA in vocal performance
Hits us with that before like, hello.
And now, apropos of nothing.
Well, and Chef Kevin's talking about getting his master's.
Oh, my God.
Disgusting.
And being a chef or?
No.
No.
No.
That was good.
What's your degree?
You know, in engineering.
I mean, it's in the name.
Engineer Devin.
Wire.
Well, you made it up.
I've got paper.
What's the letters for it at the end?
Three A's.
No, it's not.
Dude, that's your AAA card.
That's your AAA card.
That's when you get a flat tire, you're using that.
That's not a degree.
That's just a great deal
if anybody's not a triple A member
who's listening out there please
Engineer Devin just reminded me
and they're not a sponsor I'm not saying
this for anything other than your
well being
so when I watch Atlanta
for me
I don't know what the hell I'm watching.
And every week, it seems so crazy to me, and I think I spend 99% of the show going,
wait a minute, is this the show?
Yeah, or is it the commercial?
Thank you.
Okay.
Yeah.
No, so that's one thing I've noticed.
Uh-huh. It's a very abrupt shift from the show to the commercial.
I don't know if that's like a.
So you're talking about like when the story's happening and the story just stops happening.
Very suddenly I am forced to confront a commercial.
Okay.
No warning. If some of these guys,
the main guys,
could gently shift,
guide me
into the commercial.
If they could kind of stop,
turn the camera,
go,
hey guys,
I hope you're enjoying
the story we've been telling.
Maybe they reintroduce themselves
because a lot of times
I'm going like,
wait,
which is this?
Are they reintroducing
themselves as themselves? Ideally both.
Ideally both. First as themselves
and then who? As their real selves. And then say the
character. And then the character name. Give me a quick catch up
on what's happened so far in the previous season
and then go,
let's check out some commercials. Yeah.
I'm going to take you over here. This first commercial will be
you know, it's going to be for
a candy called Skittles.
Their humor's sort of rando
yeah
so they're
doing a commercial
what the different
flavors are
not a commercial
but like just
kind of an introduction
just softening me up
and then maybe
yeah then we can play
the commercial
you know
how to eat them
would be nice
okay
so I'm not going out
for something like that
where I've
you
I've obviously I mean I'm not telling tales out of school here.
Hayes and I have both choked pretty badly on those things.
Yes.
Because they make it look very good and safe.
Yeah.
And then you go get them and you're just kind of throwing them into the back of your mouth.
Hurling them.
Yes.
Okay.
There's two different holes in the back of the mouth, which is something we've learned the hard way.
And there's ones for food and one ain't.
You mix those up.
You can end up with skittle lung.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And does it give you great breath?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Kids love me.
But sick as a dog
and I wake up
every 10 minutes
just to hawk up rainbow.
To breathe the rainbow.
It's absolutely devastating.
So,
it seems like something
that could be solved
pretty easily
by just writing the show in a responsible way.
Agreed.
Because you could get sued.
By someone with a skittle on.
Yes.
Speaking of getting sued,
I do appreciate that you have brought representation.
I have.
We should, I guess, establish the ground rules.
We do always have to, yeah.
That are any ideas that we offer up about the show are property of Hollywood Handbook.
Great.
Anything that we say in here.
That's great to you?
I mean, it's fair.
Whoa.
It's only fair, and I love justice.
Good thing you have to make it negotiate.
You and Deadpool have something in common there, don't you?
Mm-hmm.
He's got sort of a warped form of justice.
It's a pretty dark justice.
Yeah, no kidding.
He doesn't have the same moral code maybe that a lot of your heroes do.
You're a run-of-the-mill hero.
He is not.
Yeah.
He's kind of a sick fuck, isn't he?
A little bit.
Yeah.
Was that difficult for you?
You know, in Hollywood, you deal with a lot of types.
A lot of types of personalities.
I haven't had that experience.
Really?
Yeah.
Just the two types of personalities.
Generally, I'm sitting across from
in Hollywood when I get sent in a meeting,
one of two types.
Guy who seems
like he's on coke.
Uh-huh.
Which is
the preferred type for me.
Or
guy
who
thinks it is cool to fall asleep.
Like he's not falling asleep,
but he's acting like he could at any moment as if that's impressive.
He's going to go like, so tell me what you've been up to.
What's your thing?
I mean, tell me about yourself.
You just sort of start talking.
They go like, yeah, all right.
Cool.
And so that, I would rather have that guy be doing coke.
Please do some coke.
Because that, because those guys who are like, oh my God, yeah, no, I had the same thing.
No, no, me and my boys.
Okay, for my buddy's bachelor party, we did this thing.
And then he starts like telling me that to me is better.
Just in terms of like, it gets me through the meeting.
Do these types translate to yourself?
Are you immune from this type?
I guess you'd have to tell me.
Which one am I?
I like to think I sort of
walk the line between falling asleep and doing coke.
When I'm a unique animal,
and I've found almost no success.
So it seems like maybe I should commit to one side or the other.
Something watching the show that struck me, it is 2018.
Yeah.
The show could benefit from a little diversity.
I've heard that before.
Right?
Yeah.
Hard to miss.
Have you seen Crazy Rich Asians, the movie?
I have.
I actually have.
Yeah, I saw it last night.
Could we get a couple Crazy Rich Asians into this show?
Do we want to do some of that?
I'd be open to that.
The movie's doing pretty well.
It's doing great.
Can I make another suggestion?
Please Max Greenfield moves in
To the neighborhood
Mm-hmm
Okay
He's next door now
Yeah
Maybe he gets a look at like
The smoker that one of the characters
He goes
Man
That's a nice smoker
I'd love to get my hands on that
And then the main character
You know the Atlanta guy
Yeah
Goes
I bet you would.
Because that seems like it's going to work.
Okay.
Bit of a culture clash.
The location, a problem or not?
Of Atlanta?
Atlanta.
Atlanta taking place in Atlanta.
Do we, you know.
Is that a problem?
If that's on the table, I would love to move this to somewhere a little closer.
Okay.
To here, yeah.
To where we physically are.
Have you been to Carmel?
I've not been to Carmel.
You haven't been to Carmel?
I have not been to Carmel.
Oh, the streets are cobblestone.
Clint Eastwood is the mayor.
Sorry, I was checking something on my phone.
Have you not been to Carmel? I just, Engineer Devin just texted me. Carmel by the mayor. Sorry, I was checking something on my phone. Have you not been to Carmel?
I just, Engineer Devin just texted me.
Carmel by the sea.
Carmel by the sea.
Carmel by the sea?
Yeah.
No.
Clint Eastwood's the mayor.
Okay.
Cobblestone Street.
The show should be in Carmel, and it should be called Carmel by the sea.
By the sea.
Mm-hmm.
And it should be, I think we want to sort of centralize our location
because I am so confused all the time whenever I watch the show.
They're all over the place.
If we could just have them working in a saltwater taffy factory.
Yes, that would be very helpful for me.
And it's multicam and there's a live audience.
To me, now we're on to something where I go, oh, this is a TV show.
Okay.
The show is about, I mean,
it's about music and specifically the sound.
It was, yeah.
It was, yeah.
That was part of what didn't work, yeah.
Okay.
Because also, some of the music,
I was like, what?
I never heard it before.
Well, some of the music that we do
is written specifically for the show, so you wouldn't have heard it. That was the feeling that I got. It sounded fake. It seemed fake. Oh, some of the music that we do is written specifically for the show,
so you would have heard it.
That was the feeling that I got.
It sounded fake.
It seemed fake.
Oh, it sounded fake.
Okay.
So, like, because when I, so just on the way here, I'm in the car,
and this Switchfoot song comes on.
Which one?
It's the one where they say,
we want more than this world has to offer.
We want more than the wars of our fathers.
Even more than that?
Yes.
And it's one of those ones where I just pull over
and look at the speaker for a little while.
Yeah.
And I go, okay, that's heavy shit.
We want more than the wars of our fathers.
And I'm thinking, now I've watched Atlanta.
They haven't used this song once.
Okay.
Have we thought about that?
No.
Do you know that one, that song?
Yeah, vaguely.
Get familiar.
Switchfoot.
Switchfoot, yeah. And I don't know the title of it i just know that part and and how it makes you feel jesus yeah another thing you could do so
move the show to carmel okay uh but a character who i'm always wondering why he isn't in the atlanta show
and should be in this new incarnation as well is izzy the torch who are you kidding me you do a
show in atlanta and you don't know the most famous resident of atlanta he's a blue torch
he represents the olympics uh he's. Okay, so you do know him.
Well, there's like another blue flame guy.
He's like the Georgia gas guy.
Oh.
He's also like a blue flame.
Bit of a rivalry.
They both move in next door to each other in Carmel.
One of them's looking at the other one's smoker.
Boy.
I see potential for a real story there
yeah
culture clash
I have a pitch
manager of the
saltwater taffy factory
yeah
Richard Jewell
yes
and you guys are
okay
yeah
no shit it's okay
okay
Stephanie and you guys are catching him like you're gradually Shit, it's okay. Okay. Stephanie.
And you guys are catching him.
Like, you're gradually unraveling the case of what he did.
Okay.
So now it's a mystery.
Yeah.
Yes.
Because he did actually do it.
We, yes.
I mean, obviously his name's been cleared, and that's a good thing.
Come on, give me a break.
Because we didn't have the evidence, but we do want to get to the bottom of it.
He did it.
I'm pretty sure he did it.
He must have.
Come on. Come on. You guys are the bottom of it. He did it. And we are pretty sure he did it. He must have. Come on.
Come on.
You guys are the experts.
We're overthinking this.
Yes.
It was Richard Jewell.
Stephanie, it seems, it's feeling like, and I, again,
I have a bit of a history as a high-stakes gambler, card player.
And sometimes I'm able to sort of see behind the eyes of the poker player.
And it's feeling like you hate us and you hate these ideas.
Do you want to talk about that a little bit?
No, I mean, you know, you step in two seasons in.
You got a list of issues, list of fixes.
And I'm just like,
you know,
where were you from the get-go?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Well, better now, then.
What do you want us to do?
Just let you flop on the dock?
We've toiled.
We've hired people.
You know,
we've sat countless hours
in an edit bay,
money just, you know,
out the door.
And this could have all been
easily resolved,
I feel like,
if you guys, you know.
Well, the time slot is cherry.
So that's been floating you for a while.
Choice time slot.
Now, I'm not sure about the channel necessarily.
I think we may want to move this baby to freeform.
Just, it just feels like there's a little more potential to build something there.
Right.
potential to build something there.
But to me, to hear you say, we're two seasons in and we've done all this hard work, I think what really might be frustrating to you is we went ahead and crawled inside your brain
and took some of the ideas that you've been wanting to say this whole time and maybe weren't
able to.
Yeah, a little bit.
Or didn't even know you had.
Sure.
Maybe weren't able to.
Yeah, a little bit.
Or didn't even know you had.
Sure.
And it's just, you know, frustrating that I, you know, as a young woman in Hollywood,
you're trying to, you know, make a way for yourself and a name for yourself.
We're young.
I don't even see that.
I don't even see a difference there.
I'm young, you know.
Somebody's a woman.
Somebody's not.
I don't know.
Sure.
Don't say it. We don't see it. For me, it's a woman, somebody's not. I don't know. Don't say it. That's not.
Yeah.
For me, it's about the work.
If you make it about the work, it'll be about the work.
Yeah.
And for me, the work is get them to Carmel by the sea.
Gav Clint East would be the bear.
Show the cobblestone streets, right?
Get in the saltwater taffy factory.
Find Richard Jewell guilty.
Slap the cuffs on him.
Right?
Take a Surrey ride.
Now that's Atlanta to me.
We're still calling it Atlanta.
I guess.
It's probably going to be in parentheses afterwards,
just so people kind of know where we're coming from.
And why waste all the goodwill?
You're nominated for an Emmy.
Yeah. Are you pissed?
Am I pissed?
I was pretty proud of it I think
Should I be pissed?
I thought you'd be pissed about how it's all bullshit
Freaking trophies for adults
Little trophy show for adults.
I've intentionally never won anything.
You're not gonna see me
going up there.
Believe me, I won't be anywhere
near, even working
on a show where someone gets
invited to one of those award shows.
It's like the Westminster dog show.
Get up there and they sniff my butt.
Not happening.
Eh, eh.
Nope.
No, I'll be home, thank you.
Cooking in my smoker.
You know?
With the real Americans in Carmel by the Sea.
Casting.
We've talked about getting crazy rotations in there.
And Max Greenfield.
And Max Greenfield.
Mr. Schmidt.
So he's Mr. Schmidt on the show.
Oh, yeah.
We got to get Mr. Schmidt.
Built-in audience.
Because he's actually not busy anymore.
I mean, Mr. Schmidt for a while was locked up.
Now he's become available.
Okay.
So we're not giving him a new name.
Well, that name worked.
Yeah.
Okay.
Might be stupid to do that.
Did you have a pitch for a new name?
I mean, Schmidt's pretty good.
You can say your pitch.
Nathan.
Okay.
Wow.
Wow.
And there's nothing so good it can't be improved. Okay. Mr. Nathan Schmidt. And we say his full name every time. And title. And the title. The suffix. The
Mr. Yeah. Yeah. Mr. Nathan Schmidt.
And his title, he's like a duke of something, right?
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
That is pretty good.
Okay, so Mr. Nathan Schmidt has moved in next to Atlanta and Carmel.
He, I guess, is in the witness protection program uh huh
because
he
knows
Richard Jules co-conspirator
and was willing to turn states
so that's the cold open.
Act one.
Act one.
Let's get in there.
We have to work the crazy rich Asians in.
Yes, I'm so sorry.
They own the taffy factory.
Oh, right.
I mean, they're so crazy rich.
That's great.
Okay, side note. Please. Crazy rich Asians. There's no punct're so crazy rich. That's great. Okay, side note.
Please.
Crazy rich Asians, there's no punctuation in the title.
Mm-mm.
Are they crazy and rich?
They're crazy rich.
Or are they crazy rich?
They're crazy rich.
But there's no comma.
How do you know?
There's no punctuation.
But isn't that how you know?
If it was a comma, they would be crazy rich Asians.
It could also be.
But they're crazy rich, single phrase.
It could also be a dot, dot, dot where it's like crazy.
Crazy.
Crazy, dot, dot, dot.
Rich Asians.
Yeah, and then I would maybe want a question mark after Asians.
Crazy rich Asians? Yeah, and then I would maybe want a question mark after Asians. Crazy.
Rich Asians?
Interesting.
Changes the movie a little bit.
It is really interesting.
How many times did you cry during the movie?
I was sobbing the whole way through.
Okay.
There was not one moment where –
From opening credits.
Yeah, from opening credits and, you know, and yeah.
Was it something going on for you?
Like a life thing going on for you that was making you cry?
Yeah, I mean, like, they're so crazy and rich.
They're crazy rich.
Yeah.
I saw myself up there in that aspect of it.
And Awkwafina is my spirit animal.
Yeah.
There was someone behind me
yes, she's giving me life.
There was someone behind me
and then on the way out
they went, that movie made me
cry twice!
And I thought, oh, this is a good question
for Stephanie. How many times did you cry?
Just once, but one long.
But one long cry sesh.
Like an endless
sob.
Yeah.
And Uncle Fien is giving me life. She's my
spirit animal and I'm here for it.
Did you cry at Crazy Rich Asians
Engineer Devin?
I haven't been yet.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
Very supportive. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I haven't had time.
Oh, my God.
Very supportive.
Great.
Engineer Devin.
So good.
Well, they managed to pull it off without you.
I like the poster.
Wow.
They actually didn't need you.
They actually didn't need you.
Have you watched the trailer?
They actually ripped off a huge piece of BO without Engineer Devin's help.
Why don't Botfo Box Office, the mojo working, baby?
So they actually didn't need you.
So you know what?
Despite your sabotage, they don't want you.
We fought so hard to get diversity in the engineering community here. We finally got one female engineer hired, and then Devin shows up and just rolls it
back.
Just winds the clock back, baby.
Let's go back to the beginning.
Maybe we had it right all along.
At least I'm from out of town.
That's something.
Okay.
They're all from out of town.
He wants to talk about where he's from.
Where are you from?
He doesn't.
I moved from Minnesota. I moved from Minnesota. Okay. wants to talk about where he's from I moved from Minnesota
isn't that where Engineer Sam's from?
basically
I wouldn't like to guess
Wisconsin I think
it's not the same thing
we have a rivalry
yeah because you're so similar
we only hate
that which in others we truly see from our own selves.
The horror of recognition.
To reach it.
Yes.
It is the mirror reflection of your own flaws that makes you furious.
And so when Minnesota and Wisconsin are trying to kill each other,
really they should be embracing and healing together.
Yeah. Because they are both so fucked up.
What town in Minnesota?
St. Paul.
How many lakes?
The capital.
10,000.
Okay.
Yep.
Wow.
Check that out.
Yep.
Have you met Prince?
This fucker is good.
I was in the same room as Prince one time.
It was amazing.
Have you met MC Slug?
On that plane?
It was when I was under the sink.
Have you met MC Slug, Atmosphere? Oh was when I was under the sink. Have you met MC Slug, Atmosphere?
Oh, MC Slug.
I have met him, yes, in the hallways at the radio station out there, yeah.
Great, great.
Yeah, I guess that's right.
Yeah, I guess that's right.
Could we get the man-seeking woman into – to also meet Atlanta?
They're not doing anything.
Oh, the man-seeking woman.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And maybe bring some of the trippy elements.
Yeah, like Bill Hader is like Hitler,
but now he's moving to the next door.
See, I don't really,
that wouldn't be my first choice
to put Hitler in the show.
What would be your first choice?
It's an interesting instinct on your part,
the one character you want to add to the show is Hitler.
She's very eager to add Hitler to Atlanta.
I pitch Ignite's character as like Izzy the Torch and Mr. Nathan Schmidt.
Just really friendly.
Yeah, Beth Behrs, obviously, from Two Broke Girls.
Yes.
One of the broke girls.
Goes without saying.
Yeah, is going to be there.
She could relate to the crazy rich Asians
because she had been crazy rich.
Now she's too broke.
Now that's interesting.
No comma there either.
Are they too broke?
Or are they two broke girls?
The comma would change everything.
Please.
A hyphen maybe.
Oh, yeah.
Too broke.
Oh, the amount of stuff we could do if we got in there with a pen.
We could completely transform the television landscape and film for that matter.
Just with a little bit of fancy grammar.
And naturally Deadpool is...
Kelsey Grammer's brother.
Sorry, that was good.
No, it was just so great.
Yeah, but go ahead.
What were you going to say?
Well, no matter what you do, Deadpool is, of course, going to be creeping into the screen.
He's going to be, like, taking a damp cloth and shining the camera lens.
Sure, sure, sure.
While eating a burrito. Yes. Getting burrito sauce shining the camera lens. Sure, sure, sure. While eating a burrito.
Yes.
Getting burrito sauce all over the lens.
Ugh, chimichangas.
Pulling down the boom mic and being like...
This is a TV show, don't forget.
Yes.
He is making everyone aware that it's a TV show.
That is one of the most frustrating things about Deadpool invading your show.
Is it's like, if you want to break the fourth wall of your
own show, go ahead.
But please don't break the
fourth wall. We're working over here.
Yes.
You know? Yeah, I do know.
I mean, when he
came onto our podcast. Oh my god.
He was telling everyone it was a podcast.
Was he funny as all get out?
Hell yes.
You know, I also worked on an animated show that never saw the light of day.
It's called Murder Police.
Yeah, just as big a deal.
Yeah, I worked on an animated show called Murder Police.
Were the police murdering?
No, it was like the name for the homicide department.
They were called Murder Police.
It was an animated show and fully produced 13 episodes of it,
and then they just never aired a single one.
Deadpool told us he'd like to take up residence in Kate Upton's bra.
Classic Deadpool.
He really did say that.
And again, the times have changed.
Yeah, he shouldn't be saying that. I mean, what I would love is like a Deadpool apology tour. Yeah. He shouldn't be saying that.
I mean, what I would love is like a Deadpool apology tour.
Yes.
And that's maybe what you should have done with the show.
And maybe we wouldn't be sitting here trying to fix this other show that you had to go crawling back to now.
Engineer Devin, have you met Deadpool?
I haven't met him yet.
I haven't had the pleasure.
You lie about all these other people.
Why do you just say you have?
I have not met Deadpool.
I'd like to meet him.
He sounds great.
He sounds great?
He sounds irreverent.
He'd make me miss him.
It'd be a story to tell.
He would absolutely destroy you.
Story to tell.
He would absolutely destroy you.
Deadpool would see you and he would see a freaking big roast rotisserie chicken spinning around in that chair right there.
He would go, here we go.
Let me carve him up and eat him.
You'd like to meet Deadpool.
Dude, figure out what's good for you, man.
If I'm having this easy a time with you
and it's a cakewalk for me
to just rip you up,
Deadpool would eviscerate you.
You wouldn't exist anymore.
You wouldn't even be allowed back to Minnesota.
You'd have to go to Wisconsin instead.
That is a demotion.
Okay.
Not on this show. instead. That is a demotion. Okay. Not
on this show.
Not the kind of show
we want to do. Got a little bite
to him, doesn't he? Yeah, we have listeners there.
Why do you have the show calendar
pulled up? I'm just checking.
Seeing what's going on.
Looking at the schedule. It's a part of engineering.
Live in this moment, please.
Don't always be looking ahead to the next show.
I also have tabs open for Richard Jewell and Jimmy Tingle.
Get in between those, baby.
That's the only place you're going to be able to do any engineering,
I'll tell you what.
That's where you live.
Right in between there.
Can't do any engineering next week.
Can't do any engineering in the past.
I'm sure you're up in your freaking brain going through some of the mistakes you made that led you here.
But nothing you can do about that now.
You know where you can be effective?
Right in between those.
Tell them, Stephanie.
You got to be in the now.
You gotta be in the now.
Stephanie, was there anything you wanted to bring up while you're on the show?
Now that you have this huge platform, you know, people are obviously going to be listening to this by the thousands.
You said you wanted to say your piece.
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. Okay.
Wow.
Just let me get a moment.
It's really important.
She's kind of winding up her fist.
Yeah, she's spinning it around. It's sort of like when Popeye was going to frigging knock Bluto straight through the frigging hull of the ship.
I feel like Taco Bell should always have shredded chicken as an option.
Okay.
They only sometimes have it?
I feel like depending on the store, it's really frustrating for me because sometimes I sub out the beef for shredded chicken.
Some place we don't have that?
Yeah, depending on the place.
Either we're out of that or we never had that.
Yeah.
I'll tell you where you could get some shredded chicken after Deadpool's done with Engineer Devin.
Finally something real.
Finally you let the walls down a little bit, and now we can
really talk about this.
Yeah, I'm pissed off.
Get in here and
dig in on this shredded chicken, and
let's put that in the show. Yeah, that
would be huge for us. I'm willing to ignore
the fact that Stephanie seems to think the show
is Doughboys, but I
think that could actually be good for us.
Yeah, it would be great if people accidentally listen to this show thinking that it's Doughboys. Have you done Doughboys? But I think that could actually be good for us. Yeah, it would be great
if people accidentally listen to this show thinking that
it's Doughboys. Have you done Doughboys? I've not done
Doughboys. Doughboys? Yeah.
You know it? No, I don't know Doughboys.
That feels so sweet. I don't listen.
Is it a podcast? Yeah.
You know what? No.
You don't listen to podcasts? Podcasts.
You know what, guys? This is
what I've been winding up to say.
Podcasts are canceled.
It's not 1925, okay?
I'm not going to go onto my computer to go to a website to listen to people talk.
This is FDR's fireside chat.
People gathering around the radio.
I mean, what have you signed?
Children sitting cross-legged on the floor.
Appointment listening.
Bill Gates created the internet, and you people are still trying to take it there.
You're trying to take it back.
How do you want to be listening to your content?
Mm-hmm.
How do I want? I want to be watching it?
It's 2018.
I want a visual.
All screens.
Screen addict.
Visual component.
Yeah.
Screen junkie.
Oh, wow.
We got a frigging screen addict over here.
All right.
All right.
She wants a visual component.
What if I told you that while you're listening to this podcast,
there's this really funny graphic of a notebook
that shows up on your phone?
How funny is it?
It's hilarious as hell.
It's got two jokes on it.
It's got two jokes.
Is it moving? Is it animated?
What you can do
is kind of wiggle the phone around
and it sort of seems as if the notebook is doing a little dance. Well, what you can do is kind of wiggle the phone around.
And it sort of seems as if the notebook is doing a little dance.
And that's for anyone at home.
You know, that's not just for Stephanie.
I'm sure there's some other freaking screen junkies out there.
You would have loved the time that they tried to do the Video Podcast Network.
Yes. Oh, wow.
Stephanie.
That would be gold for an SJ like me
you're truly born
in the
in the wrong time
oh speaking of SJ
do we want to get SJP
she'd be huge
she could be so great
in Atlanta
maybe instead of Atlanta
playing
instead of that guy
look
Donald
I love him
friend of the show.
Did our third episode.
And then after that, we really sort of found it.
I'm watching this guy.
And I'm thinking, this should be SJP.
Yeah, and that comes up for me a lot.
Especially, it's so confusing because Donald, and this is something that we know that not
a lot of people know, he actually does music.
Yeah.
But then on the show, someone else does music.
Has anyone talked about this?
No.
It's insane.
SJP, she'd take care of it.
SJP, yeah.
Then it's pretty clear.
She doesn't do music.
She does freaking comedy acting.
Yes, and perfume.
Could be about her, and instead of doing music, she is getting divorced.
Oh, wow.
To like a, God, who is she getting divorced from?
Like a Thomas Hayden church situation, right?
I think we don't need him.
I think that can be Deadpool.
That could be a good place for Deadpool.
Yeah, Deadpool.
She's getting divorced from Deadpool.
Thomas Hayden Church.
THC.
Anybody ever think about that?
Something Deadpool would say.
Deadpool would be like, oh, THC.
Yeah.
He'd be freaking taking a gravity bong rip of Thomas Hayden Church, huh?
So these ideas are proprietary.
They are all ours.
Okay.
Yeah, you guys can use them, obviously,
but you have to pay us our fee,
which is pretty reasonable.
600 bucks.
For the both of you.
600 bucks each.
Oh, each?
Or actually, we could split it.
We could split it.
We could split it.
Yeah.
Just split it.
Because she was kind of like, each?
Yeah.
And when she said for both of you, she was kind of like, for both of you.
I think she might do it. Yeah. Actually when she said for both of you, she was kind of like, for both of you. I think she might do it.
Yeah.
Actually,
you know what?
We actually could split it.
Bye. Bye.