Hollywood Handbook - Tawny Newsome and Jack Quaid, Our Close Friends

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

The Boys help JACK QUAID AND TAWNY NEWSOME make Star Trek: Lower Decks a cartoon for adults. Get tickets to see Hollywood Handbook live and live-streamed in LA Oct 4th with special guests Vic Michaelis, Zac Oyama and Lou Wilson HERE!Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a head gun podcast. Hey everyone, come see Hollywood Handbook live and live streamed Friday, October 4th at 730 PM Pacific time at the dynasty typewriter in Los Angeles. We got three heavy hitter guests Vic Micalis, Zach O'Hanlon, Lou Wilson. I'm really excited about this. We've got a ton of the fun dropout gang joining us for this one If you can't make the show don't worry We're gonna keep the live stream link up for a couple weeks after so you can check it out there Go to dynasty typewriter comm and if you're listening to the newest episode the link is in the description

So I'm walking around like so what Who gives a crap? Oh my god. Miss me with this. And everyone else is like, oh the Emmys, oh I need the Emmys. Who cares? I didn't even, I didn't even go this year. Yeah.

I don't give a fuck. Arts a competition. Wrong! And so I'm sitting there. Arts fun. In my seat. With my arms folded. Competitions fun.

Wrong! And then my wife. Hopscotch. Gets up to go somewhere. Hopscotch you can compete. Wrong! And then someone else sits down. I'm like, okay.

New wife. Okay. It now they didn't tell me about this. Okay. Maybe the Emmys are. They didn't mention this. They instantly give you a new wife. If your wife goes to the bathroom, you get a brand new wife.

Okay. Maybe this is why everyone's so caught up in these award shows. And this new wife looks at me and says, excuse me, is your name Phineas? Such a good guess. And at that point you have to say yes. Excuse me, is your name Phineas? Such a good guess. And at that point you have to say yes. In retrospect I really should have said yes because our relationship went kind of off course from there because I said no.

Well it's your wife, you don't want to lie to her. And she said, oh I'm sorry, you really look like Phineas. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't know about that. Then she starts saying something about Bridgerton. She thinks you're from Bridgerton. No, that's not what Phineas is. Is Phineas on Bridgerton? No, Phineas is someone else.

You guys know Phineas? I've met a couple of Phineas is. Is Phineas on Bridgerton? No, Phineas is someone else. You guys know Phineas? I've met a couple of Finnei. Okay. I know a Ferb. You knew a Ferb. I knew a Ferb, yeah. Is Ferb a nickname for Phineas? Ferbius.

Ferbius. So we're just talking about different men. No, I'm just talking about the, see what I was just. That's what the show is basically. Different men. You're on a cartoon. Somebody did ask me. You have to know cartoons.

I referenced a cartoon just now, yeah. He's in the cartoon world. You've got to connect to the cartoons. Phineas and Ferb is a massive cartoon. Okay, I don't know massive cartoons. And they're getting away with all kinds of shit and no one ever fucking busts their ass. I kind of only watch niche or medium popular cartoons

Mm-hmm. So let's talk about your medium popular cartoon Yeah, or love to or niche and I don't know which one I think it's somehow both. Yeah, I think it is It's Jack and Tawny. Hello. Hmm. My mom is like now Tawny and Jack Response yeah, it's Jack. Is that the response? That's better. Yeah, okay. I'm, technically she is, I think if there was a call sheet for an animated show, you would be number one, so let's go with that.

Yeah. You mean number one? Yeah. Yeah, why does that surprise you? Her head's the biggest head. No, that's all, I just didn't know, I just don't know ever how nervous to be before I do a show, I didn't know you were number one.

Anytime we do one, you should have the same level of nerves. Okay. Like, cause we've known each other, so. Yeah, I know. You should just baseline the nerves. I know, but I thought we did. Is this knowing each other? I didn't know you were number one.

I mean, is this knowing each other? I know you guys, I don't know if you know me. I apparently know, I didn't know you were number one. I know this show, when people ask me, what is that show, what do they do there? I go, it's just different men. That's right. What's your guy's name on the show?

Who's my guy? Your guy's name? Yeah, what's your guy that you're doing? Jack? You mean her character? No, what's your guy's name? Everyone on the show is like doing a different guy. Oh, the guy I do, the guy I do, her name is Mariner.

Mariner, okay. That's my guy. But it's not called that, so that's why I'm like guy I do, her name is Mariner. Mariner, okay. That's my guy. Mariner. But it's not called that, so that's why I'm like. It's not called, my guy is called Mariner, no. Are you saying the show isn't called Star Trek Mariner? Star Trek Mariner. Okay. Yeah. That seems like, I mean, Star Trek Voyagers,

Star Trek, Mariner. You're saying because that is er at the end? Yeah. Well, it's actually also the same number of syllables. Mariner, I hardly know her. We also have Star Trek Space Nine, which is like way more syllables. Actually, it's also the same number of syllables. Mariner, I hardly know her. And that actually kinda works. And we also have Star Trek Deep Space Nine, which is like way more syllables. Actually, it's about the same.

Yeah, I think we're really close there. I think it's the same. It's the same. Hold on, wait a minute. Star Trek Discovery, there we go. Hey man, check your fucking syllable count before you come at me with that Deep Space Nine shit. Okay, that was honestly the worst example

I could've thought of. The next generation. That was the bad was the honestly the worst example I could have thought of the next Generation that's a lot. That's so many more syllables than Voyager, which we call boy What would you guys guess our show is about? Yeah. Yeah. Well, so also, do you know the title of no? No, I want them to guess out. What's your guys's name? Yeah I want you to guys's name, please my guys's name. Yeah, my guys's name is Boimler Boimler Boimler. Yeah, I thought Mariner Was a job. Mm-hmm like the mayor of the sea. Yeah, we're like those

Yeah, so Mariner is someone who works on a ship. Yeah, not always sometimes. It's a name baseball field Or a big a baseball team. But then you're working on a spaceship and I thought, oh cool, they're taking this C, this nautical term and they're transferring to another kind of ship that explores. How cool, but then it's just like your name? Yeah.

Seems like a mistake. My mom was like, I think you'll like this. Watch this cartoon, you'll like it. Yeah, season five. And I was like, cartoons are for babies, I'm not a baby. That's actually proven in court. This was a wreck from your mom? Yes.

Okay. That's what I said it actually multiple times. It's been a little difficult for me to get in, but I said a few times that yes, my mom said, I think you really like this. I said, cartoons are for babies. She's like, well, you can't just be like, doing whatever you're doing lying face down on the rug

and like wriggling around. And I'm like, well, like I'm going to space, like I'm doing my space stuff. And she's like, well, that's why I thought you'd like the show. Right. Okay. And you love Space Force and the nice lady from Space Force is in it.

Yep. Yeah. This is about the time I popped out from under a blanket. And of course I'm on the couch. I'm certain she can't see me. Wah! You know? Yeah. Hi, Sean. She doesn't like you.

Well, no, she doesn't. She doesn't like that. She certainly, well, she certainly didn't like me after that because I called her a B-I-T-C-H. Wow. Wow. He said she spelled it out like that because that's arguably worse. He said she was being a B-I-B-T-C-H. Wow.

And he did spell it like how I just did it, B-I-B-T-C-H. B-I-B-T-C-H. Being a B-I-T-C-H right now. Because I thought she couldn't see me and I thought I was gonna get a good scare and she just made, she had to be, just play along, but she had to be so cool for school, of like, hi, Charlie, she knew I was there the whole time.

Okay. Yeah. That's tough. I wish you had better relationships with each other's moms. Well, he and my mom are actually. Yeah, we get along. Oh, I'm sorry. It's like, click, clack, click, clack. I can't fucking get a word in. From the chump, from the word go, it was like, Oh, I'm sorry. It's just click, clack, click, clack. I can't fucking get a word in.

From the word go, it's like bam, boom, bam. We just have a riffle. There is a fucking rapport. We chop it up. It's cool, yeah. Sashimi. Sashimi isn't often. Sashimi style.

Chopped up like that. Not really. I gotta have his mom cut it up for me. Pokey? So you're more having like a pokey. It's not even, even that is like way too big. I gotta get that. Is your contention that sashimi's a whole fish? Well, no, I just think they're like larger sliced slices.

I wouldn't say chopped. They are. It's more sliced. They're really big. Pokedy's kind of a chop. We're gonna have to. Seems like you're talking about a mince. Usually in a bowl.

A minced fish. We're gonna have to get Sean's mom in here, a mince. Usually in a bowl. A minced fish. We're gonna have to get Sean's mom in here and cut those up. And that's big facts. And so I sit down, I watch this. Oh, you did watch it. Oh, you've seen it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I've seen it, I watched it. Oh, believe me, I've watched it. And I'm sitting there saying, okay, okay, stuck the landing on that one. Okay,'ve watched it. And I'm sitting there saying, okay, okay, stuck the landing on that one. Okay, nice with it. Okay. Okay. Sick nasty with the joke humor.

Nice with it. And I'm getting actually kind of into it. Yeah. Okay. Wow. And I'm adjusting to the pace. Okay, yeah. Y'all talk fast on that show. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's stressful, right? That, that. You only have like basically 20 minutes. Yeah. It's a lot. And they don't let you like on this, they let you do it really fast or really slow. Kevin told me that. On podcasting?

On this, yeah. This is the slowest I've ever talked in my entire life. Wow. Right now. Okay. But we're trying to adjust to like your pace and vibe. Our pace, okay. We came in here and we in my entire life. Wow. Right now. Okay. But we're trying to adjust to like your pace and not. Our pace, okay. We came in here and we were like, whoa.

Don't do that. No, it feels like. Please don't do that. Yeah, I know you think that's nice because we did it for you, but yeah, it's probably better not to. So we shouldn't try to blend, because you guys are very,

even like you're in the couch in a way that suggests to me I need to lean back harder and slow down. Like I'm leaning way too far forward. The opposite of Sheryl Sandberg, right? Yep. Lean back. Lean back farther.

So you're saying don't. Lean away. So you just don't lean away. Lean out. So you're saying for me to lean in. Lean out? Yeah. Leaning out would be to me like this. Leaning out. That's better for me to lean in out yeah leaning out would be to me like this that's better

for me I don't I don't think my doctor would like that that I did that for do you check with your doctor your doctor up a lot yeah I bring my doctor for every podcast I do he just needs he needs to approve it. Okay. He's like, what, Head Gum Studio? Yeah, okay, yeah, that one's good. That one's safe. He's doing something right.

I'm very clumsy. You ever had a cup of coffee in here? You ever done any business before this? This is your first time? This is my first time, yeah, being in this studio. We did this once over Zoom. Yep, yep. It's how I watch this thing.

The sound of your cherry, brother. Oh, right, there we go. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean, can I ask you a question? All right. Yeah, that was Sean. You want me to save it? I just had a quick question. Do you want save it? I just had a quick question. Do you want me to, I just had a quick question.

I'm not taking any questions right now. Can I ask it to the room? Can I ask the room a question? I'll take it. Is everybody having an okay time here today? Are we doing okay? Direct all the questions to Kevin, please. Hey, Kevin.

How you doing? Hi, Donnie. Hey, Kevin. How you doing? Hi, Donnie. Hey, Kevin. It seems like I'm trying to have a nice time. I just wanna, are we having a good time? I think so. Okay. Kevin takes a picture of me during the show

and sends it to my mom and tells her that I'm having a good time, even when I'm obviously not. Just having a meltdown. It's just very clear. Every time she drops Hazes off at the studio, he goes, I'm not gonna go today. I'm not gonna do the show. No!

I just wanna make sure, we're all friends here. Just wanna make sure we're having a good one. So I watch this thing. Right. And I- And you're loving it. I finish it up, done and dusted. And I say, mommy!

She takes her sweet time coming in. What was she doing? Lord knows, Lord knows what this woman. She certainly wasn't getting me another orange juice. I asked three times. An orange juice in each hand. She said that if she gave you a third one, you were gonna spill it.

And I said, okay, Mommy, so you're a liar. And she says, what are you talking about? Did you like the show? And I said, that's not at issue here. You said this was for grownups. And while it is not for babies, it's not really for grownups.

Come on, man. Interesting. You know what I mean? It's not really adult content. It's not really for grownups. Well, there's a shot of my character going full spread eagle with his legs while one single black bar

covers up his dick and asshole. So I think that that's- Can we get the black bar on? That's a little- How'd that bar get in there? The existence of the black bar, the sensor bar, is the reason why this is for children. That's kind of for babies.

Come on, man. Or it's not for babies, but it's not really for grownups. Well, it's a colored block. I mean, that's like, what do we tell them? I see that, I see that, I'm trying to stack that. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? So you wanna remove any censor bars

to make it for grownups? I just wanna do something because actually, his mom got my wheels turning. The idea of a cartoon for adults was pretty enticing. And what I watched, while enjoyable, was not that. So just to clarify. Yeah. For it to be for adults, you need to see an animated butthole.

I mean that's one thing that would be in the show. If you need that to be real, if your pitch is that that is live action and the rest of it is animated. No, that's not my pitch at all. I'm willing to add that. I'm okay with that. They have a way to do that.

Also in this world, is it my asshole? If that's the if that's Tony's. I have to I cannot stress it. So would it be like and that's a gilled thing? So I that you know, you're not in my talk to George Bush.

I'm not in that guilt. We're not in that guilt. Do you remember when Conan would kill George Bush on the show? Yeah. And it would just be a real mouth, but like a cartoon George Bush face. So we can use your,

you can use your, or your mouth. We could use your mouth down there if that's easier. That's the worst thing I've ever thought of. Or it could be Robert Smygall's mouth if you want. It's a really tough image. So it's a human mouth being an asshole? Yeah, it's Robert Smygall's mouth and he's going, hee hee hee hee hee.

Hey Conan. Oh God. So this is what would make our show watchable for you? Well then he would say for me to poop on it and it would be accurate. That's already watchable. Sure, almost. Sure. Yeah.

You're right, almost. So for it to be an adult animated show, besides having a Robert Smygle mouth asshole, what else would you want in the show? How would you change it to be more adult? Let's put a Smyigel mouth asshole. Yeah, what else? What else would you want in the show? How would you change it to make it more adult? Let's put a smigel on that face. I guess some of the storylines did feel, no offense, a little childish.

Okay. Okay. Like what, what was one? What was one that was like, oh man, that's for babies? We're all like talking about our friends or worried about our friends. Like, oh, is this person friends with me? Oh, am I gonna be doing good at my job? And it's just like, why isn't anybody?

I just don't have jobs usually. Okay, you've led a charmed life. I have, fair. Wait a minute. Yeah, you weren led a charmed life. I have. Fair. Wait a minute. Yeah, you weren't 12 years old. Honestly, I've arguably led the most charmed life. You didn't have a 12 year old.

You're accurate there. Your privilege is showing. And it really is showing that I was not, I had no child labor. Real Nepo move for me. You didn't work in a shoe factory when you were like 12. I didn't work in a shoe factory when you were like 12? I didn't work in a shoe factory like the Nepo I am. So yeah, but yeah, they're talking about their jobs and like, why is nobody, why is nobody talking

about Fallout Boy? Oh, interesting. Oh, okay. Fallout Boy. Oh, interesting. Right, okay. So you... Why isn't anybody listening to Fallout Boy? So it is the future.

Stuff that's like for grownups, for adults. But Fallout Boy being the most adult. Well yeah, it's the future, but how far in the future is it? And look how much staying power they've had. Wouldn't you have said in like 2006, like surely 18 years from now, we're not gonna be talking about

a lot of their contemporaries have completely vanished from the conversation. So you contend that in 2390, Fall Out Boy is still gonna be top of mind. Like I just said. And it's the epitome of adult music. Wouldn't you have said 18 years ago, you would have been so competent,

just like you are now. Oh, surely by 2024, you're gonna be listening to Fallout Boy. It's gonna be dominating every station. I guess I didn't know that was happening. Is that happening? Yeah. Wow, I need to.

But you feel so confident. It's like the confidence. I don't listen to a lot of. And then you just sit there bordering on cockiness. Sorry. Part of it's like, I can't remember a single title of a Fall Out Boy song. They're so long, I can't either.

And I'm a gigantic fan, but like they are. I love the music, but the titles are not for me. That's what, like what other titles would be. I know the band Fall Out Boy, of course, and I'm sure if I... Yeah, I guess I just don't listen to a lot of music playing in a CVS, so I don't hear. Okay.

Well, you would like them. You would like them, because you like to chime in. Is that what they do? They chime? They think about that. Do you not see? There's one song that's so long, the title is just, My songs know what you did in the, and then dot dot dot.

Yeah, and it can't even fit there. It's kind of scary, so they have to actually. That's a long title. They have to actually figure that out. Sorry, I wanna come back to the CVS bashing. Yeah, they don't have current music. And I'll fucking stand on that. I'll stand on business on that shit.

But you know that, right? So you do listen to the songs. Six to 24 years ago, yeah, occasionally. So you do listen to them because you know what plays in them. I need a nasal spray right now. Or a pair of socks when I'm in a weird city. Tawny, let me just tell you right now.

And I'll catch a song, they're playing fucking single ladies, like it's current. Tawny, Tawny, Tawny, you do not need that nasal spray. Sometimes my nose is dry. You are enough. You actually have value.

I don't need this. That's what I'm saying. No, I don't need this. So you agree with me. You don't need any of it. You don't need the nasal spray. I don't need this. You don't need any of it.

I don't need two men in a studio full of different men telling me what my nose needs when I'm in a foreign city after I've gotten off a plane. Hey Jack. Wait, are you in a foreign city right now? Hey Jack. I could be, I feel like I am. Because I thought these were my friends,

but apparently they're strangers speaking a strange language. Jack. Yes? Would you like to share with Tawny any issues that have been arising? I mean, I know it's different when you're like. It's not really, I mean we're like. With the spray. Honestly, like she's one of my best friends, like for real.

So there's not a ton of issues. And is the spray maybe making it harder to stay friends. No, honestly, I think we've related we've related on our mutual love of saline solution Okay, so this is okay. I know Yeah, yeah Can you get addicted to saline solution? I guess I'm sure there's an you can get addicted to anything but like No, I'd say that that's like a I Don't know. I think it's a I mean I wouldn't say it's thing we bond over I say it's a common thing between the two of us. Hey Jack, I can fight my own battles. Okay Well there well they whispered to me. Okay, you know what fair fair. Thanks fair

What other notes do you know what I know for the show Fair. What other notes do you have for our cartoon? Yeah, what other notes do you have for the show? It's the sniffing on the show, and so like. Oh, you can hear that. Yeah. You can hear when we're like. Having the sniffles I associate more with

when I'm at school. It's weird that they leave that in. It's weird that they leave that out. I can see actually how it would be impossible just to leave any vocals. Because we're doing the, you can hear that. Yes. And then you can hear that. Yes. You can hear us going. You can feel it falling.

Yeah. I can tell they've cut a lot out. Yeah. Like somehow as much as I'm hearing, I know that I'm only hearing half of what was there. And you'd be right. But hearing the edits, yeah. You'd be right about that.

But you're just not, yeah. That to me is like, that's kind of baby stuff to have the sniffles all the time. And it also- And have a runny nose. And I really want more of an adult who has a stuffed up nose. It sounds like you want them to have sinus problems.

Yes. Okay. I want them to be toughen it out. People talk about like the drip. That's what the, you know, like, please don't mind my drip. That's more adult. I'd love- That's what they mean. That's what they mean when they're like, please don't mind my drip. That's more adult. I'd love.

That's what they mean. That's what they mean when they're not talking about fashion, they're talking about the nasal draft. Their noses. Yes, and I just like watching the show, it sounds like you have equipped your spray bottle with basically the equivalent of a bump stock where like it's not,

if you could just like pull that trigger down and it'll just go. Usually for nasal spray, it's just like kind of a one shot deal. But you seem to have rigged it, maybe using a 3D printer. It's like a semi-automatic nasal spray. Yeah.

Because it's purely on sound. It's a lot of sound. I feel like I could see it. I think he's getting it from my vibe too. I try and rig everything I use to be more like gun-like. Yeah. Like I just want things that feel like. You're a huge gun nut.

Yeah, I love them, love them. You live out in the desert, you're just shooting. Just shooting clouds. Shooting targets, shooting clouds. Shooting clouds you don't like. It's too many of them, they need to be broken up. Are there a lot of clouds in the desert? I feel like there wouldn't be.

There won't be one, double the number. not anymore. She's shot. She's they're extinct Come and take it comes So But that should be on the show then yes I want you want Mariner shooting at clouds. I want Mariner to be yeah, well you're And it's the full title is you want Mariner shooting be, yeah, well you're up in the sky already. Was that a pilot voice on? And the full title is, you want Mariner shooting at dot dot dot. There's not that much guns on the show.

There's not. There's, I think they had one. We have phasers, we don't really have guns. And then you can set them to kill or you can set them to stun. And typically we would set them to stun because we're- It's a show for babies. Yeah, it's a show for babies. There should be more settings on that, right? or you can set them to stun. And typically, we would set them to stun, because we're- It's a show for babies.

Yeah, it's a show for babies. There should be more settings on that, right? You could probably get some. What would be between- Yeah, what are the other settings? Frottage. Frottage? What does that mean?

Is that like a messed up omelet? Is that like a- Kevin. Like some sort of art of horse dancing? This is something that- Hey, good. Thanks. Both these are pretty good.

I got one. We both got one. These are pretty good. These are pretty good. I got one. We both got one. These are pretty good. These are pretty good. Kevin, can you, what's the official definition of frittage? The official definition of frittage is.

He acts like he's looking up on his phone. He's already got it. It's right there. Frittage company dedicated to the manufacturing of ceramic glazed frizz. How did you spell it? Okay, no, that's right. Manufacturing of ceramic.

That's what you meant. It's f-r-o TTA GE Yeah, that's how I want to make sure we get this exactly right right for I want the language For like if we're putting this on a gun like we got to get it right yeah Omelette egg dish that's similar to an omelet. Whoa. I was right. Whoa. Mm-hmm. Wow, I said a fucked up omelet.

Yeah. Yeah, well, Italian doesn't necessarily mean fucked up, but I guess it does to you. Depends on who you ask. Yeah. And you said horse dancing. I said the art of horse dancing. Is there a, like a definition B?

Definition B, the technique or process of taking a rubbing from an uneven surface to form the basis of a work of art. What more uneven surface than the top of a horse could there be? Yeah. So like something that just says kind of a- That's why they need a saddle horse is gonna take that rubbing.

Rubbing like outside the, you guys are wearing those like funny clothes and stuff, like just kind of an outside the clothes rubbing gun. So you want them naked, again, you want our, you want animated nudity. And I don't know how to say it more clearly. The clothes are part of it. You want, the clothes are actually part of it.

You want animated nudity. Oh my God. You want them, an outside the clothes rubbing gun, like a Thera gun? We want the phaser to create the situation, the sensation of a clothed massage. Yes, because the clothes are part of it. The clothes are part of it. And that's like, you know, say you're like,

lying face down on the floor, wriggling around doing space stuff. Like the clothes are like actually part of what makes that experience so exciting. So if you can imagine taking a Thera gun, pointing it down Thera. Down Thera? Yes, and they're in the old lower decks.

Okay. And- Oh, they know the title of the show. Absolutely. I think it took 35 minutes. Yeah, for them to say the title of the show. Kicking it up to level 20 on that gun. And just absolutely going, not even to town.

It's gonna hurt so bad. To the big city. I don't care who you are, that's gonna suck. That used to be an advertiser for us. What happened? So, okay, to make the show more adult. Don't got the gun, come and take it. Just to so okay to make the show got the gun come and take it just to recap to make the show more adult You want every character at all times? Theragunning their own genitals so they're close

I think it would be nice if people would do it for each other and this could be like the type of you guys like talking About friends and stuff on that show like you want friends that just tarreg on each other. People are always worried about their friends on the show. It's just like, well maybe you'd have a little easier time getting along if you would just fratage each other's fucking lower decks every now and then. Wow. Mm-hmm. Well, you know, I'll take this.

Without a bar in front of it. We can take this night to the writers if you want. This is the last season that's coming out. We don't know for sure. I think I know why. We want to go somewhere else. So if we go to Netflix or something, tell them. We'll open with frottaging genitals.

Yeah, and we'll see if that makes it, you know. Open implies stopping at some point, you know what I mean? I just wouldn't want to limit to just being like, oh, we're gonna open with this. Okay, so we'll make it the entirety of our pitch when we go into Netflix. When the two voice actors go in to Netflix.

I would like it to be all that you talk about. I think they would probably rather talk to you guys. Than the other creators. You're saying it as if it's preposterous to have the two voice actors go into the pitch. But I think they probably would like to see you guys. Instead of some dipshit. They'd be like, oh, that's kind of similar

to how they sound on the show. And then we'll bring you a spray, it'll be fine. The spray. You guys are just gonna have to get used to it. You're gonna have to get used to the spray. Because I got news for you, you're gonna know me for a long time, unfortunately. This is crazy. And so it's just a thing

you're gonna have to accept. That you know me really well. You're gonna know me a long time. Keep saying we're friends, and now it's like going to last? Hey, can I say it a different way? We're gonna be in each other's lives for a while. And that's just a reality that we all gotta contend with.

I guess it's true. I'm so confident about that. I know it. You haven't shook me yet. And I'm just gonna keep on, keepin' on. So your philosophy is say it and spray it. Now I've learned where you live. Yeah, that's true. Now I know where both your children go to school.

That's true. Yeah. We did do that right. So this isn't a threat. She's not talking. But it is a guarantee. Okay. This is a guarantee that you're not gonna be rid of me.

So we just all gotta find a way. Let's find some stasis, okay? Okay. Great. Okay. I noticed that your necklace says, get paid, get sprayed as well. That's right, man.

I made it myself. Okay. I made it on Etsy. You made it on Etsy? Yeah. Meaning you found. Talk about what that means you found a thing that's so interesting necklace and you're like well what I wanted To say is this it's a 3d printed made it then decide bought your own necklace that one that one okay? You got it. Oh, that's a you want to get rich You know rich as hell that way well instead of just making something for yourself

You can make it on Etsy and then sell it to yourself? Sell it to yourself. Well, it's also like putting a dollar in your own tiff jar and be like, whoa, people are really tipping this. Oh my God. Passive income. These necklaces are really selling. One dollar, people are really tipping this.

There was only one. Passive income. Yeah, they're not just not just coins in here. We got paper money. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Hollywood handbook. Speak like a whole new you with Babbel,

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now we've talked about this. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and other leading universities continue to prove Babbel works. And I'm always like, when I'm doing an ad, like I just want to know that what I'm talking about is for real. So what are these other leading universities that aren't being included here? So I call up Babel. Yeah.

Just like, I don't want to say leading universities and then if somebody asks me, I have to then expose that I'm ignorant, I didn't do my own research. Yeah. And they say, here's the list, but the main one that did the most comprehensive study is AppStudierCollege.

AppStudierCollege put out the study which I know that proves that Babel works. I know names like Yale or whatever are more impressive in a vacuum. For this specific kind of study, that's actually number one for me, is AppStudier College. And they were like, we'll fly you out, talk to the researchers that did this. I met the Dean.

The campus is gorgeous. It's beautiful. They have this amazing quad. It's like right in the center of the city, but it is still very quiet. It's like its own little community. The pool is the deepest pool I've ever been in. And the app studying center, oh my God.

I mean, just like state of the art, it, oh my God. I mean, just like state of the art. It doesn't even begin. It's crazy. And the Dean, by the way, Dean Norris. It's Dean Norris. Yeah. Hank. It's Dean Norris.

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canceling almost all of my unwanted subscriptions. I have one that they have been struggling with. Kevin has had a subscription service for several years now. He says he's been doing it his whole life, where he gives out, he says free hugs, but it is a paid service. Do you end up becoming billed,

or they take it out of your payment from the Patreon every month? And I don't know why, Roger Money says they don't have access to that, but I've given them Kevin's info. Yes. But it is, he says he was born giving a hug. He's built to hug. And he's the ultimate hug machine.

And that the free aspect is that he does set you free after a minute or two of hugging. He says the service is called Get In Here. He says it comes in the mail, but he spells it M-A-L-E. I've actually been upgraded to like a new tier which is get in here you son of a bitch Which I didn't even realize I guess it's like a premium level. He's supposed to your T E A R And I Swear like you could you could see all your subscriptions in one place in rock and money. I can see get it here

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not every joke delivers, but Harry's always delivers. They send the best quality razors right to your door for a fraction of the price of the big brands, better designed shaving products at a better price. It's no joke, it's Harry's. Clean Harry is here. I do wanna dedicate this conversation to just catching up a little bit.

I want to just kind of establish where you're at, because I feel like every time we do this, it's just sort of a full reset. And I want, I do want to build something with you. So this one, we're building a foundation to start. What, what is going on with you right now? You want the real answer or you just want, it seems like what you want is me to just give some polite, I don't care.

Like I'm fine. I don't care which one it is. You know what fine stands for? I don't, I definitely don't want you to say I'm fine. Do you know what fine stands for? It doesn't stand for anything. Fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. It doesn't stand for anything. Fucked up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. It doesn't stand for, it's a-

That's what it stands for, punk. It's a word, it's not an acronym. When everyone says I'm fine. It doesn't stand for anything. You know how they're really feeling? F'd up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. This is an example of- And by the way, I'm fine.

This is something that we cannot- And just so you know, I am fine. We cannot build we cannot build on this this is not what I mean like you what's going on in your life some reset or you don't want to know you don't want to hear about whatever so just it's fine I'm, just do the ad. Great shaving experience. Even if you don't use the razors, use a body wash, the hair gel, all kinds of good stuff. German engineered blades that stay sharp longer. Get a five blade razor weighted handle foaming shave gel

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that all the spooky stuff is fake. Just like, cause like. Our show is very not spooky. But you're talking about just like general spooky season shit? Yeah, cause it's like, it's October 24th, just to be like, hey guys, I know we're all grownups here,

this show's for grownups, but just like. We're all adults here. Yeah, all that shit is like, and they can't touch you. You know, because. But you can touch them. But you think your show's not spooky? All the creepy aliens? I don't get down with any.

That's freaky. I don't like the word spooky. I don't like people that say spooky season. I think that's for babies, and that's real. I think that's for babies and children to call fall spooky season, I think that's for babies. And that's real. I think that's for babies and children to call fall spooky season. I'm like, hey, have you heard of the word autumn? This is just autumn, spooky season.

Okay, well, we can't just call it autumn though. That doesn't imply what we want. What about Halloween time? Halloween time, what are we doing? It's just the fall. It's just October. What about the moment of the goblin? That'll take.

Okay. Okay. So it's nice that it's coming out basically right in the moment of the goblin. That is nice. I feel like that it's really nice. It's the moment of goblin. It is. No. It is really nice. It is peak moment of goblins. It is, no. Yes, you're actually seven days before

the goblin awakens, exactly one week. And if he awakens one day earlier, you have three more weeks of fall, is that how it goes? Yeah, you don't want that goblin to wake up a day early. You don't want that goblin to wake up. No, yeah, I mean, which is- Six more months, no, that doesn't make sense. Six more months of fall all year. Six more months of fall no that doesn't make sense. Six more months of fall.

Six more months of fall. That's what it's like out here, I mean there's no seasons here. Okay, all right. Wait so the moment of the goblin is in LA? There's too hot and then there's moment of the goblin. Honestly, that is LA's. That's it.

That's LA's entire weather. It's just like. Cause moment of the goblin takes us right up to pilot cancellation season. That's pretty like, ugh. Cause Moment of the Goblin takes us right up to pilot cancelation season. Yeah. That's pretty much the only. Pilot cancelation season. Too hot, ow.

It's weird. Moment of the Goblin. That there is no pilot season anymore. No, they got rid of it, but they still cancel it. But there is pilot cancelation season. What they do is they call you, you're sitting on your couch, you didn't audition for anything,

you didn't film anything, but a studio exec calls you and says, hey, we're so sorry, it's not gonna go. And you're like, how did I? We're not moving forward. Is this a cancellation? I love it so much. It was my favorite thing this season.

We all fought for it so hard, but it's just the climate right now. You know, the landscape has changed. We're in many ways a victim of our own success. Oh. Where we just, we have so much on the working. There was no room in the schedule. But you know, this isn't the end,

we have hope for it for future. I'm gonna stay in touch, let's get lunch. Hey, have to find something to work on. Have to find something for you. Will you please? We have to find something. Stay in touch, will you please stay in touch? And then you're like, I didn't even know,

I didn't even audition, how did I get rejected? I'm at home on my couch. I'm just trying to sit at home on my couch. So that's pilot cancellation. And not only that, they've canceled the pilot that you never filmed, but they're also somehow recasting you. Yes.

For the canceled pilot. Yeah, you're right. So you didn't get the job. No. And the show didn't go. When this- But you were replaced. But they really wanna work with you.

But you were replaced. You were replaced. But they really wanna work with you. They really were replaced. But you were replaced. You were replaced. You were replaced. But they really want to work with you. They really, oh, we gotta find something. Yeah. Gotta find something. When this leaks online 20 years ago because the person who directed it gets famous

for doing another project that doesn't involve you. Yes. You won't be in it because we will have recast you. Yeah. For the like, just like link that gets posted. They don't have like the asterisks there. Yeah. You know, this person was almost the person.

So those are the seasons in LA. Those are the seasons. Can I ask, is there? It's only been 17 minutes. It's going down. It's a countdown clock this time. From what? 30.

It's only been 13 minutes? No, that's not possible. The clock was off for a long time. It turned off. Yeah, but then what was the choice that got made? Well, I didn't want it to start from zero going up at 30 minutes. It was it was a lose-lose So we're going down from 17, 16 minutes. You guys are doing great. We're on the home stretch. Sean really he looked up and was like I cannot have that be true. you're doing great, we're on the home stretch. Sean really, he looked up and was like,

I cannot have that be true. Honestly, I'm glad it wasn't. I cannot have this only have been 17 minutes. Is there a- I will drive my car off a bridge. It's my own show, it's like I'm sort of in charge of it, but it does feel long for 17 minutes. It feels like it's been a-

It's been a- Like sort of a slog. I can't stop looking at the clock now, honestly. No, like it's been a, it's been a, it's been a sort of a slog. I can't stop looking at the clock now, honestly. No, the clock's got me. Can I say, I'm watching the show sometimes. Yeah. Okay. And I see like, I'm like watching Mariner and Bluebird and I'm like, is there,

they should be like fitted out in like some dope trucker hats. They should be, you know? They should be swagged out in some dope trucker hats. They should be. They should be swagged out in some fond Dutch. Okay. Or not that. Well no, not actually literally with that logo. You can't wear that on TV.

Yes. But if you had that same style of hat, but there was a logo, maybe you knew you could get clearance of. Yes. Oh, I see. I see what's going on. And not that you could just get it for nothing, but you could get clearance up. Yes. Oh, I see. I see what's going on. And not that you could just get it for nothing,

but you could get there. No, but that you knew there were reasonable people in charge of the brand who you could negotiate with. Yes. You know, everybody's winning. And it's easy to draw. Because Mariner and Bubler are gonna be like so swagged out and like it's gonna be actually driving people to the show and also potentially to the hat.

What makes a reasonable person in charge of a brand in your estimation? What's a trait of a reasonable man? Let's say who's in charge of a brand. When you brand want the hat, we give it to you. For free? No. Doesn't seem reasonable at all. No. You said give.

You said give. Yeah, yeah. So I'm able to purchase the hat from the man. That's what makes them reasonable. Yes. I think you're getting, I think you're sort of approaching this the wrong way. I think when I said that someone was in charge of a brand,

you were thinking of get Him to the Greek, how they've gotta get. They're trying to kind of manage. It's not easy. I'm in charge of the brand. I am always thinking of Get Him to the Greek. I'm not in charge of a Get Him to the Greek. And it shows.

I do it for you. It stays on my mind. That is your role in the franchise. So you don't have to think about it. What was the, there was a sequel? I hope so. No, no, that was a sequel. Because I'm running out of merch.

From the Greek. I can't get him to leave now. Get him to the Nokia Theater. Yeah. Get him to the Stable Center. Get him to the Palladium. So you guys want to give us a hat? Is it the hats you're wearing?

Wait, it's not that we don't want to give you a hat. Oh, I have a hat on. We want to give Mariner and Boyblert a hat. Yeah. You're getting closer. Try it one more time. To sell like a hat? Sure.

I can feel it. How much are the hats? So you want to, I just will say this. I know what you're thinking. $30 minimum. Are you a reasonable man? Minimum. Are you a reasonable man?

Let's find out. It's $29. Is you a reasonable man? Minimum. Are you a reasonable man? Let's find out. It's $29. Is that what it is? Mm hmm. So that's it. He was just like, even I say that and I'm like, that's fucking crazy. I must be taking a bath on these things.

That's a cheap hat. Yeah. No shit. I'm taking a bath. All right. And you could feel it and you know the quality. Like Scroogemouth duck, the balloons. And you can feel it, and you know the quality. Like Scroogemouth duck, the balloons in my bath,

and of course it's not like a giant, it's like a little bathtub. You put all the hats in the bath? No, my doubloons. All your doubloons, okay. It's tough to track sometimes. So Jack, we could buy the hats, and we could wear them. Why are we in this situation?

We walked in the door, brother. Why are we in a situation where we have to buy these hats? We accepted the email, we walked in the door. You buy the hats, sure. Why are we in this situation? We walked in the door, brother. Why are we in a situation when we have to buy these hats? We accepted the email, we walked in the door. Okay, you buy the hats. So we're in this situation. Yeah, yeah, okay. You wear them. I'm not gonna question it.

All right, keep going, Tony. You wear into the drawing section. We're in a situation where we have to buy these hats. We have to buy these hats. Now, I don't know if they know that we did our characters in live action already. Yeah, they did. No, they didn't know that, but we did.

We did that. Sorry, I should've said we, I in fact said they. Go on. So what I'm thinking is if we ever do that again, we could wear the hats in live action. Cause I don't know how else we get the hats on like a cartoon. Right.

That just doesn't seem. So keeping in character of these characters, they are essentially in future space Navy where they have to wear very specific uniforms all the time. But do they allow hats? That has become the normal sort of status symbol of all the time. But do they allow hats? But do they allow hats? That has become the normal sort of status symbol of this future time. Because we're actually on our way there.

Trucker hats are part of the Starfleet uniform in the future. I think that in the year 23 something something, 2380 I think I said 90 earlier. These hats and fallout boy are going to be the two status symbols that really let everyone know. It's all 2006. I have a legitimate Star Trek question for you right now.

Are hats allowed? Are hats allowed? Are hats allowed? Cause I know sometimes they like put on plays and people can like dress up as different things. But like when they're on the bridge, if someone was just like wearing a hat. Just wearing a baseball cap.

That said like, you know. Only if it's part of. That said Von Dutch. Only if you're like. Would the car be like, come here. Would that be a thing? I'd just say hat pack actually. I think you'd have to convince them that it was like,

you can wear like religious items, like you know, the Bedroids always had an earring. Convince them that. Wharf had his sash. Hat pack was a religious. So you guys would have to turn this into a church. Yeah. Is that possible? Well, we may also need to get like, we might need to get different sizes of hats,

which we do have a bigger one for like Klingon heads or like Ferengi's or whatever. Okay, but it's important that you establish this as a religion, that's the only way we can make it uniform compliant. Buddy, we're establishing it as a religion right now, my god. Because we're in the past,

so we have a lot of time to get to 2380. What other? What about Guinan? Guinan had a big hat. Guinan wasn't in uniform, dog, I could do this all day. Guinan wasn't enlisted, my friend. What if Guinan just had hat packs emblazoned on the big hat?

Imagine how big we could have it say hat back on there. She's an Elurian, she can do whatever she wants. She don't exist in the same timeframe as them. She can travel all around. Okay. You're talking about- Oh my gosh, what a crazy superpower to travel all around. Through time?

Can you do that? Yes. Oh. You can travel all around through time? Yeah, I sure can. Is it when you're hiding in the blanket? When I'm in the blanket, I could be anywhere. Because all through time,

people have been under a blanket. Mm-hmm. I don't know if that's right. So how am I not, how am I any different from the viking? Just trying to think of like, the early men. No, go ahead. No, go ahead, Jack. Early men. No, go ahead. I guess so.

What's the time when they weren't under a blanket? That was like one of the main things Just trying to think of like the like go ahead no go ahead man. No go ahead. I guess so under like I Would they weren't under a blanket? That was like one of the main things they were doing then prehistoric time But like then you like get you like get some animal hide and then you're like warm. That's under a blanket How is that a blanket? It's a I mean it that's what it The definition of blanket the first yeah Yeah, do get definition and please read definitions a this will help tony actually if we get the definition of blanket? The first, yeah. Yeah, do get definition of blanket first. And please read definitions A and B, please.

This will help Tawny, actually, if we get the definition of blanket. This will help me. A large, warm, usually rectangular covering used for beds. Definition two, a covering of any kind. Any kind. Wow, a horse blanket. Wow, a horse blanket. That was the example?

All right, I stand down. Wow, a horse blanket. That was the example? Alright, I stand down. Wow, a horse, someone being blown away by a horse blanket. I stand down, fine, there's always the blanket. Sure, that's what they would do back then, they would get blown away under a horse blanket. So you're saying that when you're under a blanket, you're connecting with our ancestors. Oh yeah.

Yeah, I see that now. This is the best point I'm connecting with you, man. This is the best point I've ever seen you make. This is incredible. However? I mean, I've done this podcast twice. Out of those two appearances, that was the best one. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good. You can take enough swings, you know what I mean? You're bound to connect. I mean, honestly, you got there pretty fast. In two shows. That's what they said about early mad. This is what they said about early man? Yeah, you got there pretty fast. Yeah, they're pretty fast.

That's what Missy Elliott was gonna call that, that's all I got first. You got there pretty fast. No, she's gonna call it early mad. Oh, okay. Well. Eight minutes on the clock. Yeah, so this is as long as we have to do this last eight minutes on the clock. Yeah.

So, so this is as long as we have to do this last eight minutes. It's optional. What are we up to? 42. Wow. So how long do you think the show is usually? Yeah, what is it usually? An hour?

50. 50, 50 in the, okay. I don't like that number. 50 minutes. You don't like the number. I'd rather it be like an hour or 45 minutes. 50 is like, it's in place, okay, so. I don't like that number. 50 minutes, you don't like the number. I'd rather it be like an hour or 45 minutes. 50 is like, it's incomplete.

I totally agree. If I see that on the time when I'm like opening something up, I don't have that. It's edgy. I don't have 50 minutes for you. So it's a rough number for me. Yes, I agree. You know what's interesting is like a lot of podcasts,

we've done a lot of fun podcasts together. Yeah, sure, go ahead. It feels like you're going, oh my gosh, like the time just flew and then you're like, what, that was like an hour and a half, is that gonna be too long? We're gonna have to cut stuff out. What do they do on those?

Cause I can't fucking listen to that shit. If they have stuff that they're cutting out, if they have stuff that they're cutting out from those, if they wanna put them in this, that, we got all kinds of room for that. It's interesting to kinda struggle along. What are the ones that are like that? What are the podcasts?

There's James's Flim Flam World or whatever. James's Flim Flam World. If you're into flim flams. There I was thinking I was all set up for a gotcha and then that sounds so fucking good to me. It was a fun one. There's Cartwheel Party. And that's just people doing cartwheels and not speaking.

And that's James too. I can't believe James has this kind of market corner. He has a lot of different worlds. How does he have the time? I guess that's why he's the hardest working man at show business. In podcasting at least. Yeah, in podcasting for sure.

There's Kevin Hart's podcast. James' Kevin Hart's podcast. Yeah, there's water slide park, and that's just him doing a podcast while going down various water slides. Doing a cartwheel. But he only interviews people who repair water slides. Yeah, yeah.

So you think it'd be dry. But you guys did that? Yeah. We moonlighted. Yeah, we did, yeah. It's crazy. So yeah, it's just a lot of them. Well, it's usually broken, just the water.

No, the thing the water comes out of. The slide itself, it's very dangerous. It's water. No, the thing the water comes out of. The slide itself, it's very dangerous. If the tubing shifts at all, that's a lawsuit for sure. Oh, and then we did that podcast, That's a Lawsuit. That's a lawsuit where we honestly pretended to be lawyers. But they let us try a real case. It was not like our trial for us doing that is coming up. We got in a lot of trouble for that.

We ruined some lives. But James is cool. He's like, he's covering it all. Yeah. So yeah, a lot of podcasts, you really like, I don't know, it's just like, you're in the flow and it just like, it feels really natural. Bye.

Bye. Hollywood handbook. That was a hate gum podcast.