Hollywood Handbook - Tawny Newsome, Our Celebrity Friend
Episode Date: October 18, 2022The Boys welcome back TAWNY NEWSOME to call some of her famous friends.Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy... and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
It's actually not hard.
It's not a complicated process at all.
Any nutrient, any food item can be reproduced with the exact nutrient makeup in its original form as a gummy same size same
appearance identical appearance but here my issue and i think maybe i'm not explaining myself
clearly i don't want it to be that big like i like i'm i'm happy that we can reproduce it in gummy form i'm happy that we can have the
same but like i don't want to have to eat like an entire pineapple gummy i'm wondering if we
can make it smaller you can make it because obviously i need i'm sorry i misunderstood i
i thought you were asking whether it could happen but you're you were too busy asking whether it should just yes i might
so my doctor has basically said like no more big food if i yes if i keep eating
a pineapple sized pineapple that i need all the juice from it yes but that uh
the lining of my stomach will disintegrate and that and that
actually because i've been eating the seeds as well that a bit like a pineapple tree creature
of a creature will burst out of my abdomen and start living as me like like take over which you may like this take
over the podcast take over my you know child rearing why would i like it if i don't know
you like perhaps it's my podcast why would i like that the way you talk to me sometimes
hayes i wouldn't be surprised if you'd rather be talking to a pineapple creature.
If that would be easier for you.
The way I feel sometimes, the way I am treated on the show, I think,
I'd rather have a pineapple creature in the seat.
Let me go back to what you were saying earlier.
Go ahead.
Just because it would be easier and it would be easier doesn't mean that that's what I want. Nothing in this life that is worthwhile, worth doing, is easy.
Yeah.
And that includes having a conversation with you on this show.
Mm-hmm.
And the answer is yes, we can shrink down the gummy to be exactly the same texture and composition
like the steak will have the same marbling as it would in its larger form it is just small
bone-in gummy ribeye gummy bone-in ribeye now i want to address the juice i want to address the juice the pineapple will not have any juice
it's all it's pure gummy inside it's got the same nutrients but it's
but there's same nutrients but texturally there is no there is no liquid there's no
version of this no these are gummies these are not gushers okay well we i mean we should talk to our guest she's been
here for over an hour at this point tawny time i guess yeah i suppose it's become tawny time
once again here's tawny freeze tawny time tawny
yeah might as well get it over with
let's get out your phone and start calling
everyone at your address book
this is
let's get moving I don't know
why we or we could or we fake
thing where we pretend that you
are that I have the guest
are just like the guest
right it's like let's start accessing.
Right.
I shouldn't pretend that you ever want to talk to me.
I'm merely a vessel for either my father.
We're here for the whole conversation when we talk to your dad or some of your.
We actually.
We never spoke directly to your dad.
We had to speak directly to you who would relay the conversation to your dad i've
never spoken to your dad in my life do you want to i've communicated with him i mean he's
he's experienced ideas of mine and given feedback in real time so i do feel like there's a connection
there but no we he's objectively my biggest fan, he loves you guys. He has notes, but he loves you guys.
And the fandom goes both ways.
And honestly, like, yeah, good.
We should be taking notes.
Like, I'm a fan of his shit.
I like a lot of what he brought to the table.
But I didn't have to take every note.
But what I realized every time was,
maybe your dad doesn't have the fix,
but he did find a problem there's a reason i'm getting the note yes and then i get in the lab and i go it doesn't have to be what he's asking
for but it got to be something different exactly my dad is good at and this is this comes from
childhood my dad is always good at finding something wrong with what you're doing where you didn't know.
You might have just been like, hey, look at this.
I got an A plus on this essay and I got, you know, now I'm on the honor roll.
And he'll find a reason to be like, this is actually bad.
And here's how you could have done it better.
Yeah.
Only the lower decks.
Mm hmm. Mm hmm huh what is that i know what is i know what is that you're referencing is that my is that my star trek
cartoon oh you don't know about that trek i sometimes i forget you know it's like you don't
know about your cartoon i mean i know about it i it. I just didn't know. You have a cartoon.
Yeah, I have a cartoon.
You thought that I was talking about something else that's not your cartoon?
It's like...
I don't know.
I didn't know what you were trying to phrase.
Will you tell...
Let's pull up Tawny's Wikipedia
and we'll tell her what she's in.
Can you change the picture?
Yeah, just so you have a greater awareness.
No, the picture is great
we actually need to maintain it's great it's so i'm looking at it now now i feel like your dad a
little bit but it's like you don't you don't know what's best for you picture wise like this picture is. No, it's from 2019. My mouth is open like an excited horse.
We used to smile like that in 2019.
I don't like it.
This is a pre-COVID smile.
So like everyone on Wikipedia, it is from.
Look at you spreading your germs with that smile.
Big open mouth just.
I would like a challenge for the listeners.
I just I look so much better now can can we this
is a 2019 comic-con shot can you take my 2022 comic-con pictures and put one of those there
what a great way to be i love that right that feeling you have about yourself because i i never
look back at an old picture and go god God, I look so much better now.
Oh, I always do.
I always go, oh, Jesus.
The young skin I had.
You're not always moving forward and reinventing and advancing yourself.
No, I've been sort of decaying.
Entropy.
I'm sort of an old toad just buried in my little mud hole here aren't i
i don't i don't feel that i've ever looked at this wikipedia page and it's
very interesting the things that are jumping out at me
i don't know what we can change it now do we want to put a new picture up there now
yeah get a get a current take a take those are cute wait just take a just take a selfie
send it to kevin we'll and we'll throw it in there i don't want a selfie of me in my house
why not just why not it seems a little too diy i don't know like i don't know do you want to put it do you want to
take a selfie and then we can somehow like key in the background from that like comic
con or whatever you were doing why why wouldn't you just take one of the pictures from comic
they were nice pictures that's what we did you were nice pictures. That's what we did. You were mad about it.
That's what we originally did.
You were pissed.
I don't understand.
Sometimes I don't know if you guys are on my side.
Me neither.
So what's up there?
That's a picture from Comic-Con.
So what we can do is...
But an old one.
Okay, so I'm like...
It was four years ago.
I went through every Comic-Con and like just this one it was july
it was just like four months ago that's the one i want up there well the last time i just want to
point out jesus she do you see how fast she did the months the last time we put up a photo wasn't exact i mean it was it was really one off but it was one off but it was
pretty close when it gets to yeah the last time we took a photo of you on the comic-con dais
there was shortly after that a global pandemic and so now you're saying oh let's let's go back
and like do this again like no actually i'd rather i I'd rather not repeat that experience.
I think it makes infinitely more sense for you to take a selfie in your home.
You don't have to be looking directly at the camera.
In fact, I don't think you should be.
I think you should be looking out at an imagined audience.
Can I say this just because I'm worried?
I want to clarify as we bring up the original photo what happened
afterwards when you say i look so much better now yeah you don't mean because you're wearing a mask
i mean hey top two-thirds of my face or top third of my face
that's where it's at, man. It's all in the eyes. That's for me, too.
No, don't say that.
I agree with Tawny.
My face is like a stoplight.
A mascot.
Top to bottom, it's green light, yellow light, red light, stop.
A mascot.
The mask did wonders for me.
Green, yellow, red, top to bottom?
Yeah.
You got like a European stoplightlight face yeah no guys i just feel
like i i like i like the way i look you guys you guys know this thing called self-esteem
you should yeah talk about that you know it's when you wake up every day and you like what
you're looking at instead of going all right and i feel like in 2019 i was going yeah all right. And I feel like in 2019, I was going, eh, all right.
And now in 2022, I'm going, all right.
Here's what I'd like to see.
Some selfie steam.
Right?
Selfie steam.
A steamy selfie.
You guys.
I've got, I've got,
I've got something about being in a sauna by myself.
Hang on.
I'll give myself a steam.
Hang on.
Yeah. Can I actually come back to the podcast in like half an hour
yeah yeah yeah work it out you guys uh you've been having good uh oh he did he disappeared
yeah he did he did he's going to is that common he's going to take a steam bath
he has a steam bath that kind of um just sort of erupts out of his toilet
bowl oh so he sits on there and uh through it's not a like a button that you press he turns a
crank on the side of the bowl and then it uh boils i guess is like there's really no other word for it the water in the toilet boils and steam erupts out and uh bathing him sort of uh from bottom to top yeah it's like a geyser
yeah and he comes out uh different for sure sometimes sometimes a little more relaxed
different for sure sometimes sometimes a little more relaxed sort of sous vide yeah it's like you sous vide your and that's exactly he does wear like a bat like a plastic yeah put himself
in a plastic bag that you kind of clip to the edge and then just to the edge of the toilet bowl
yeah he has to because it can't make direct contact obviously self-care is a journey and
i support it so whatever he needs to do to feel
the most moisturized and the most confident i say hollywood this week on the patreon carl and
asan discuss the la dodgers the boys break down a tv pilot script on the pro version and the
flagger ones are mostly talking all things basketball check out all these shows and the videos for today's episode with Tawny at
patreon.com slash theflagrines.
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slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys i think in this episode we should just to get it
out of the way yeah yeah we don't have to have a whole conversation with whoever. I think we just call them.
They answer.
You hang up.
And then we can move on.
Because people are like, oh, Tawny's here.
They're going to dig into her phone.
Right.
I don't want to hear these animals scratching and clawing at my door after this episode is over because you didn't call anybody.
You know what I mean?
They're not coming to you.
They're coming to me.
Right.
And they only want to hear me call other people.
As opposed to yourself?
Yeah.
Like, they don't want to hear things from me.
And I'm not upset about this.
I'm just laying out expectations. In case there's new listeners who maybe listen to this
because they follow me and they're fans of me
and so they saw that i posted this and they were like man we really want to hear what tawny has
to say on this podcast we're not familiar with and they tune in and they hear me just calling
someone and they might be disappointed so i'm laying on the expectation let's table this
sean is back i want to acknowledge that he's returned. Hey, gang.
Forgot what I was working on out there.
I know I left to do something, but then once I got in my steam,
I just totally left my head.
I said, well, it must not have been that important.
Decompressed.
I'm back for the podcast.
I think we can all agree the vibe has improved
i'm still a little sweaty so i'm just drying myself off with multiple tissues
but other than that uh you know i'm ready to perform and um have we got have we have we
called anyone yet i'm always excited tony when you're here to start calling people on your phone
yeah i was just explaining it for any new listeners.
I just want to say you have a beautiful, like, rosy patina.
You just look, you kind of remind me, you sort of look like a tamale, you know,
and you pull a tamale right out of the steam.
And, like, I don't know if your skin is the corn husk or if you're the maize,
but it's got, like, a delicious, supple, stuffed quality.
You look great.
Oh, that's really nice to hear.
That's the tissue.
And I feel terrific.
Yeah.
Well, the tissue doesn't hurt.
I mean, that's so gentle on your skin.
I see people using towels and I think that's so harsh on your body.
You know, your skin's not designed to take that kind of punishment day after day right gotta do is get three tissues
and just get to work or take a little longer yeah but as hayes often remarks anything worthwhile
right that you do it is not gonna be gonna be painful yeah it's gonna ask did you um did you get air
sometimes the steamy sometimes the steam coming out of the bowl right is so violent that
sean is able to actually like get air and do moves yeah uh so yeah i was hovering probably uh i i guess like four feet off the seat four feet oh my god so you were actually
off the seat off the toilet i was gonna say yeah i sat down on the toilet turned on the
machine and then i was thrust about four feet up in the air above the seat and um you know i did a i did a daffy
did a daffy twist uh what does that look like can i this is not my i didn't grow up doing this
stuff and so like what what is a daffy what's a daffy twist it's like uh kind of spin around do wacky legs ah okay i can picture it yeah yeah yeah
um and your lips look very full now i don't know what yeah that's a separate that's a separate
thing okay they're just no in there i have some berries that I'm allergic to. And I'll kind of suck on those for a while while I'm getting steamed.
Just to generate that swelling that I think is very appealing, obviously, to people.
You noticed it right away.
I did, yeah.
I always get comments.
It seems like a cheaper alternative.
Have you heard of a lip flip?
Have you heard the women in LA, they're doing the lip flip it's a i know about flipping i know about
hippie flipping and robo tripping those are the two things that i mainly um you can do you can
in la you can hippie flip while getting a lip flip and it actually makes a really nice experience
yeah while lippy flip yeah um oh that's interesting okay so i would uh
so what what's the process there they flip your lips inside out so that people can see your bones
or whatever yeah yeah they flip your lips inside out they stretch it back over your head they peel
you like a banana so that your teeth look bigger and uh and your head looks skinnier. And that's the new hot trend in LA. I wouldn't mind that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
I need new lip bones.
Do they just like, do they ever do them or they just completely replace your lip bone?
Yeah.
You have small lip bones, which, you know, it's just a genetic thing.
You can get them.
They didn't change up, but you may want to get some better bones in there.
They've eroded and a piece fell down.
It kind of slipped down into the bottom
of my chin. Didn't drink enough milk
as a kid? Didn't have enough milk?
I was one
little piece of
milk short. You drank milk,
but it was the wrong milk.
Okay. You didn't
drink soft enough milk. You only drank hard milk. I was drinking wrong milk okay you drank you didn't drink soft enough milk you only drank hard
milk hard milk he's drinking bird milk which is very you know they are very hard they have beaks
right they don't have brittle they don't have lips they don't have lip bones so like so what
you're getting is nutrients that will help build your beak and you notice hayes's nose is extremely firm. Yeah. Very powerful.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, like you could peck away at something.
Yeah.
I could get grubs out of a tree.
I've seen him do it.
Yeah.
I've seen him do it.
We went camping one time, and he was like,
anybody up for a grub?
And I look over, and he's face deep inside a tree hole.
And sure enough, he comes out, pulls out a big old grub.
The word tree hole really hit my ear in an uncomfortable way.
I don't know what else I would call it.
But when you said it, I recoiled from you and from this podcast.
I wonder what else.
No, it's more than just tree hole.
Like, there's got to be a word for that
is it a tree cave
is it a bird hole an owl hole like there's got to be another name
well a grub hole is it a can i ask this is it a is it just a knot or is it not
i guess i don't know the difference is it or not or is it not i mean that's the
eternal question i i don't know i just i would encourage you to find other work when you're
about to say something that sounds harsh and disgusting i'd encourage you to like
second thought you know he's never gonna have a reason to talk about that again
no we happened on it pretty organically yeah it all feels like
we're delaying the inevitable huh it feels like we're hanging out uh it feels like we're hanging
out and becoming friends and i don't know why you're resisting our bond so much i was having
like maybe the nicest time i've had on this, and it really feels like you guys are trying to rush me into something else.
And I'm happy to hear that from your...
And the show is about the fans' experience.
That's true.
It's not really for the guests to have fun.
Sometimes as a byproduct of the guests enjoying themselves,
the fans enjoy themselves.
But really, for the most part the shows the fans like are where the guest
is having a very unpleasant experience when we think about what's happening right now when you
think about like what is the present moment yeah in the vast majority of cases like for us it's an right but for like in reality as this podcast is playing out the now is
hundreds possibly 200 listeners and all of their hours put together the experience of listening to
this show like that's a much bigger cumulative now right yeah then that what just what we're
doing with this on this podcast and so when we talk about what's happening right yeah then that what just what we're doing with this on this podcast and so when we
talk about what's happening right now for that listener for all of our listeners their tummy hurts
yeah what's happening is their tummy hurts really bad they're holding their tummy
they're kind of wiggling around see if make it feel better it won't
really wiggling guttural, or I guess wriggling.
Wriggling is, I guess, the right word.
Yeah, writhing a little bit.
Yes.
Writhing implies discomfort.
Wiggling just seems like fun.
But the way they do it, it is kind of a wiggle.
They're sort of wiggling with it.
And so, hands on their belly belly they're making the noise that
sean was describing
and so our job when we think about what's our job in this moment right now
it's to make their tummies feel just a little bit better or if if at all possible distract them from what's going
on in their tummy right and i want to help with that um and call steve uh i don't have his number
grandma's in the grandma's in the bathroom so we've got plenty of time i i really don't have
steve's number i we've emailed but you know he's not giving out
his number so okay let's send an email steve can i have your number it's very important it's an
emergency you want me to email steve carell email hi steve can i have your number it's an emergency
need your number immediately immediately can we know it's a situation tummy's at stake
okay yeah i can send that email i'll i'll send that email right now and just for like the fans to
to know email host is too big a hint i think i guess. I guess can they just know if the word Steve
is in his email address?
The word Steve is not
in his email address. The word Steve
is not
in Steve Carell's
email address.
The word Steve is not
in there. No, it's not.
I had to double check, but it is not.
He might have one that has it in there.
But the one that he gave you
does not have the word
Steve in it. The probably strictly
spam only
email address that he allowed me to have
does not have his name in it.
It doesn't even have his name
in it. Is it a Mac.com
address? No.
Is it funny? I don't understand it so maybe okay wow all right it's a reference to something i do not understand i'll drop it in the chat we
can just see if we can all get our heads around yes that's that seems fair we can put it in the
chat and just see if one of us gets the reference yes sure sure you promise not to say it out loud though i promise not to say it out loud although
i'll say the reference out loud i'm gonna do every single thing in my power to not say it out loud
that's all that's as far as i can go okay the to the extent that i have control over whether or not I say it out loud
I promise not to say it out loud
but of course
okay
I don't understand this
so
I think you guys need to
I don't know what this is
so you guys
you can don't say it
but in case it okay so i do get this reference
okay yeah wow and even saying the reference requires me to to say it out loud please don't
okay please don't don't't dock Steve Carell.
That's a really,
that's a really fast. You know,
no one will guess the first half.
Can we say what the at is?
No,
because I had asked if it was a Mac.com.
No,
please say no part of it because the internet,
they'll say,
well,
they know it's.com.
They'll figure it.
Oh,
please don't even say that
please you're gonna narrow it down too much and i like people are gonna be able to piece things
together people have incredible i encourage you actually since you don't know the reference
i have no idea what you can do is just actually type in the email address without the at blank dot com attached to it.
And what you'll find is it's movies.
Sean, you're there's so many movies, Tony, Tony, Tony.
I'm going to get blacklisted.
If you keep having me come on here and
doc celebrities you i'm gonna get blacklisted i'm not gonna work in this town because everyone's
gonna be like oh my god she's gonna go on that podcast and blab all her personal information
well we have been talking about doing a new segment called what's up docs where we where we
as sort of like bugs bunny Bunny-esque rascals.
Docs various people.
And it's something that the fans have been clamoring for.
Look, the fucking Patreon's in a nosedive.
The entire podcast industry is falling apart.
And we need to find some way to stand out.
What we realize a lot of people are not doing on their shows is doxing celebrities that's true is that conan they're all trying to get celebrities as guests
that ship has has said that ship is over the horizon for us that ship has actually proven
that the world is round right it's made a circumnavigation yes so is that what conan's
doing he's just doxing everybody is that why he's doing all right
no it's the opposite he is getting guests he's getting these guests he's and promising not to
dox them at all yes right and so now we can't even do that so we're not getting guests and we're not
doxing them right okay so why am i left like why am i listening yes like i sympathize with the fans at that point
who have said why am i listening what am i huh if you're not getting guests what am i you call
you're a hub
we look at you as just a crucial part of this process which is you are the primary hub
the which we are able you are the hub for this like a switchboard that allows us to effectively
dox steve carell you know yeah a massive guest he's the he's the patient i mean he's the doctor
but he's the patient sure sure so okay just's the doctor, but he's the patient. Sure. Sure.
So just to alleviate your concerns, Tawny,
because you didn't know about your own cartoon.
So you may not know the fact that there are over 100 movies.
And so there are so many options for what the movie that is in his email address
could be.
The only ones that we don't know based on your earlier
clue is that it is not all about
Steve. Right.
It is not the Dow of Steve.
Right. It is not Steve
Jobs. Right.
It is not the Life Aquatic with Steve
Zissou.
That's true. It is not those
four movies and so that
still leaves almost a hundred movies. And so that still leaves almost 100 movies.
Okay.
That could be.
That it could be, sure.
In his email address.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I feel better now.
I feel like I'm not going to get in trouble.
So thank you for that.
Thank you.
No, you're welcome.
Are you guys going to, now promise me you're not gonna
email him and ask him for something weird oh god i mean what's weird you know anything that
you would ask normal anything you would ask him is gonna be weird yeah to me there is no have you
ever met a normal person me neither not not on this pod so i just need you guys to promise on the planet normies
you're not going to use that email address it's really important to me if you care about me at all
was he in this movie
can't be right i don't know i wouldn't think so the timing that's that would seem weird yeah that would
be really strange if but it's almost weirder that he it's almost weirder that he likes this movie
and this now we are narrowing it down if we say that he's not in the movie people suddenly know
it's not dan in real life we're immediately they're aware that it's not fox catcher right right and we're crossing off
more and more of these hundred movies you know it's a damn it's not heaven almighty is it
no we gotta stop it's not date night it's not it's not the morning show we gotta stop narrowing
it down though otherwise i'm gonna get in trouble people are people are drawing they're making
graphs and they're figuring this out.
And by episode's end, they will figure it out.
I think I would know it from what we've eliminated.
I think I would be able to guess it.
You know what's a damn flex?
Imagine you are the production assistant
on the movie Spanglish.
You have the email address. It the movie Spanglish. You have the email address.
It's not Spanglish.
Fine.
I know, but stop narrowing it down.
Yeah, saying that it's not is actually now saying what it is.
Well, I only said it's not because Tawny absolutely lost her shit at me.
It's true.
My career hangs in the balance.
I did say whether it was or wasn't.
But even mentioning that movie. Ta say whether it was or wasn't.
But even mentioning that movie. It's time for accountability.
We got to stop mentioning movies.
You lost your fucking shit when he said Spanglish,
which he wasn't even saying whether it is or it's not.
Now we know it's not.
I got really fucking heated.
Now we know it's no movie with two.
A damn flex is you're the production assistant.
You have access to the email address Spanglishprod at gmail.com.
The production ends.
The premiere happens.
You aren't invited.
But you still have this email address,
and you use that as your personal email
for the rest of your life.
And then you become famous
movie star.
And you're telling people
you have that story. What's your email address?
Spanglishprod at gmail.com
You want to know why?
Did this happen to someone you know?
Because I never stop grinding.
Did this happen to
someone I know? No.
Well, it'd be a good story no it uh no it's just a story
about a damn flex yeah i mean can we sell this this that's that story yeah it's called email flex can we walk this into peacock right now yeah i think so can we stroll right through
the front doors of peacock and just say hey guys it's email flex tony's attached to get us a star
i'm i'm attached to attach someone there must be a category
in the peacock main menu with all the different categories they have there must be one that's
called weird flex but okay i would hope so i would absolutely that's very much in the style of
the peacock menu categories that we've discussed multiple times in this yeah have you gone through
those categories at all?
Yeah.
All the time.
I'm always looking for, you know, just ways to increase my network.
Just so I just scroll through and I just think like, hmm, who do I know?
Who could I text to be like, hey, can you give me that person's number?
Yeah.
I'm just trying to increase my Rolodex at all times.
That's why you're the hub.
That's why I'm the hub.
decks at all times that's why you're the hub that's why i'm the hub maybe i should get out of being on camera and just um just be the hub yeah wait here we go like said that
hang on a second just hang up but when they answer i'm too nervous
i'm getting scared no no it's gonna be good
hey hello
i don't think it's i don't think it's working
nope we got a i saw i saw the top two-thirds of your dad's face now i see where you
get it and then nothing else and then a triangle with an exclamation mark inside indicating some Some sort of emergency. There he is. Hey! How are you, sir?
They said, how are you?
Sorry, I forget. He can't hear.
They said, how are you?
I'm fine. How are they?
They are great. I'm looking at them.
They look good.
So do you.
You shaved.
A little shave since we last saw you.
They said you look good. You shaved since A little shave since we last saw you. They said you look good.
You shaved since we last saw you.
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah.
I missed the hat.
Oh, Sean misses the hat.
I know.
I'm sure it's around.
Do I need to get it?
No, no, no, no, no.
Please.
I want you to be comfortable.
Yeah.
Chill out, Dad.
Dad, they're trying to get me to call uh famous people on my phone but
i don't feel comfortable with that who's the most famous person in your phone in my phone
like whose number do you have the most famous person whose number do you have or email the most
famous uh it's not immediate this is encouraging man that's tough it's tough wow yeah wow i thought
he was gonna say yeah that's pretty tough we know at this point we know at this point it's not you
i thought that was a slam dunk i don't know i don't know if they want me telling that
oh wow whoa i don't know It is somewhat problematic.
He's got
someone famous in this phone.
There's two.
There's two.
Two pretty famous people
that I know.
Do I know them? I don't know who you're talking
about. No.
You don't know them.
You don't know them.
He's got all life outside of you okay let's get ones in dc
ones in dc oh shit okay is it a is it a politician is it a
uh what is a previous military person okay okay okay that i knew from a long time back when i was in the
military who's more famous than you general petraeus it's that's that's what i think too
it's patrice yes that nature okay yeah so military celeb got it yes well not really a celeb but uh
but famous you know when i was in the military i was in signal i don't know what that is Got it? Yes. Not really a celeb, but... But famous.
You know, when I was in the military, I was in Signal.
I don't know what that is.
This is getting... Okay.
Cool.
Well, when you saw all those pictures of those confidential paperwork laying around on the floor in the president's office, that's what I did.
That was how you did that.
I feel like you're...
You and Tony's dad put those there. Dad that i feel like your dad stole the papers put those
there dad i feel like you're about to get in trouble i know i know like you see these guys
and i'm holding up a phone to a zoom so it seems kind of like uh homespun but there are a lot of
listeners to this podcast i just want you to know they do get a lot of the nicest thing anyone has
ever said about that that's why i'm being really careful. He's being very careful.
He literally, all he admitted to was putting the documents in Trump's house.
So who is the person?
Let's pivot. Who's the person in L.A.?
What's a hint?
Yeah, you have to say who it is.
Like a hint.
She was a...
Still is. Famous performer. who it is like a hint she was uh still is a famous performer why don't i know this
because that was during my wild years girl okay all right okay it sounds like not an actor right
it sounds like possibly a musician or something It sounds potentially a burlesque artist.
Yeah, that was a whole different animal.
Okay, all right.
I won't press.
I mean.
Member of Danity Kane. I met Sam in New York back in the late 70s.
Sure.
Oh, my goodness.
I met a lot in Studio 54.
That's true. You had some Studio 54 studio 54 holy shit wow my dad had a very good my dad had a very good afro that would get him
into clubs that's that's true he had a very perfect afro and people would be like you look
cool man he'd get into clubs can we hear one well studio 54 oh sorry that was jerry curlera sorry wow i look like rick james with the bangs
and uh yeah hair down to the shoulders wild crazy uh but there was uh
yeah all right can we hear one studio 54 story? Yeah, one spotting.
They want one Studio 54 story.
Oh.
His eyes got real big.
Oh.
Okay, not that one.
I'm in Studio 54.
All right, I'm liking where this is going.
If you know anybody that went to Studio 54 or knew anything
about Studio 54 it's a really
really wild place
and when you're in there
and the music's bumping and all the
disco stuff's going on
it was built like a
like a theater
it's a theater
so all of a sudden
out of the ceiling comes pinball machines
with bubbles and stuff coming and people standing on him dancing what and then i look around
and i looked at the right right next to me and there's these two very very well-known celebs
sitting there just doing massive.
I said no names.
Apparently.
Give one,
give us one,
one name.
Everybody was doing stuff.
They really didn't want out.
All right.
All right.
You know,
they were,
if I told you these names,
you know,
definitely.
Well,
of course,
you know who I'm talking about.
My dad is very anti-docs.
This is good.
Anti-putting people on blast for doing drugs.
Going against the mission of the show. Basically.
Yeah, there was a lot of cocaine on the tables
and a lot of people that people look up to now.
And even a couple of people who have just recently stopped
let's say
doing movies and things of that nature.
Jerry Fogle.
No.
No, not Mel.
Oh no, he's back. I forgot.
He's got a movie out.
So they're
blowing fat
rails is what he's saying.
Yeah.
He gave a clue.
It was very subtle.
Some of these people, you know, they push
their luck. They push it a little hard.
Yeah, everybody was going hard.
Yeah.
Well, it sounds like
a fond memory.
They were good times.
I'm hung up on the fact that this military man you know is more famous than your daughter who had two Netflix shows come out in the last 18 months.
And you have a cartoon as well.
And I have a very popular Star Trek show.
And this man from the military is more famous than me?
Yeah, I have to say so.
Yeah.
All right, Dad.
I'm going to call you back later.
Ask him if he has any Halloween costume ideas for us.
I'll call you later.
Oh, wait, real quick.
They want to know if you have any Halloween costume ideas for Sean and Hayes.
Get a good look at them and see what they would be good at oh wait a minute lord of the rings on the bottom
which one's on the bottom that's sean yeah i see it that's sean samwise gamby yeah the
oh gollum okay he's doing a i look like he's doing Gollum that feels problematic I forget his name
are you talking about Gollum
Gollum
or Smeagol
my precious
yeah
okay Sean
so you're Gollum
Smeagol
yeah
and Hayes up on the top here
Hayes on the top
Halloween
Wolfman
okay
yeah
the big
that's cool
so I got away
vintage Wolfman too
vintage Wolfman
you got away clean
I like that That's even better
Do you have one for Kevin?
Do you have a bonus one for producer Kevin?
I got fucking smegled
Producer Kevin
Oh
Hey Kevin
Yeah that little green fella
Green fella
Gazoo?
Yeah No not gazoo Greenfella. Greenfella. Gazoo? Yeah, the Great Gazoo.
The Great Gazoo.
Gazoo?
No, not Gazoo.
Crazy Frog.
Dang, I had it right on the tip of my tongue.
The Geico Lizard?
Kermit.
Kermit.
Kermit.
Kermit.
Okay.
Greenfella.
Yeah, he can do a good Kermit.
I think, yeah. Amazing. All right, Dad. He's got his a good Kermit amazing
dad what are you
going to be for Halloween before I let you go
who me?
I really hadn't thought about it
this year
but I don't know
I might go as a ninja
a ninja?
that's a cool one you gave
yourself a cool one ninja outfit you know fake sword yeah and a wheelchair okay that's a twist
yeah old retired ninja you don't use a wheelchair so that's just an interesting
that's a strange twist for this costume yeah i know well you know
it's like you gotta put a twist on you know yeah an aging ninja i get it okay oxygen and you know
yeah yeah i get it he's an old ninja what's not what what do you not understand you're right i
don't know why i'm confused he's got the sword That's why we roll Okay
I'm going to let you go
Okay
Is there anything else you want to say?
Why I'm Gollum
No I didn't
Okay Sean wants to know why he's Gollum
Yeah
Am I disgusting?
Gollum?
For real?
You think it's so obvious okay dad you gotta go all right bye
damn i didn't know he was gonna go harder like i was vicious insulting you
i just do want to point out roll with the punches well we're so while we are here
to point out roll with the punches well we're so while we are here doxing celebrities that is our purpose here he tried to help us we're all trying to get our little our little jokes off and he said
talking about the very famous celebrities in studio 54 he did say the sentence we all die hard sometime and while it was a very organic sentence to say
in the in the story of that he was telling it didn't stand out on its own at all is it a usual
statement to make in that moment it does sort of hint that it was probably bonnie bedelia
so he and he did say people that have stopped doing movies.
Wow, you're right.
I was caught up trying to relay and stuff,
so I didn't catch that.
Well, you're trying to prove that you were more famous than Bruce Willis.
I don't think Travis.
He apparently has it in his phone.
Clearly that ship had sailed.
Clearly whoever this military man is
is far more famous than me i yeah i now i need to know who both of those people are
your dad what a what a life what a story he's had yeah yeah i'm gonna be thinking about that for a while four days yeah you just see like you're in la and you're passing a party at the chateau on halloween
and you just see someone getting out of a limo and a wheelchair a ninja wheelchair with it
using oxygen with an oxygen tick yeah he pret Pronouncing the W in sword.
He pretends not to see you.
Yeah.
It's clearly him.
He denies later that it's him when you call about it.
Massive celeb on each arm.
Yeah, that tracks.
I can see all this playing out. And I don't know why I'm surprised, honestly.
He's lived a life.
What's his first name?
We've never,
I don't think he's ever been properly credited on this.
I don't think he'd want you to know it.
Ah!
Docs failed.
As a teen,
as a teen,
he was literally,
he was Mr. Newsome to all of my friends that is not a joke
governor newsome that's what that's that's what that's what he should be called the only people
that call him newsome yeah yeah yeah well that's my uncle my uncle gavi uh good old uncle gavi uh
he doesn't put the e on the end because um he's embarrassed of us dad no chris kyle the american
that's who he's rolling to the chateau with
yeah you figured it out that's it yeah i'd say he's more famous than you donnie i guess so man
i don't know why i was and that's why about you that's why he can't brad the cooper play you
because he is he is still alive he is still alive sniping people can i ask did did your feelings
get hurt when he just chris chris kyle sniped angela lansbury i'm just gonna say it we all
know that that's what happened angela lansbury had to be taken care of.
She was going to talk.
Yes.
And so nine years ago, they faged Chris Kyle's death,
and they call him in for exact moments like this,
where it has to be perfect.
Did your feelings get hurt when he just absolutely destroyed the three of you
by telling you what costumes you should wear?
But he only destroyed me gobbledygook is a is a disgusting goblin wolfman is undeniably cool a vintage all
the way even cooler especially coming from him wolfman is always played by someone sexy and cool jack nicholson benicio del toro 50 plus benicio del toro
yeah so that's so that's awesome and then kermit is like uh an icon and a cute sweetie
yeah okay you're right so i guess he only destroyed i. I was, yes, with prejudice.
I was demolished.
And then when you asked why, he responded, look at yourself.
Which really just felt funny. He was like, are you serious?
He said, really?
He said, really?
He was like, is that even a question?
Like, you're fucking dumb.
And I just finished giving myself esteem.
Right, yeah.
Go back to your... I might have to get on my toilet geyser again
i might have to hop back on the toilet geyser for a little bit oh guys i'm sorry but i also
think this is what you wanted so that's exactly what i want you're welcome every single aspect
of this has played out exactly as I intended. That's good.
I sealed it in an envelope and mailed it.
It's in the mail.
It's actually going to show up at your house today.
Okay.
Give me a Halloween costume so that things are even.
I didn't want him to do it.
It was going to get too personal.
Jeffrey Drommer.
Jeffrey Drommer.
Drommer.
Is he like a... He's so much drammer.
Bye.
Hollywood Handbook.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.