Hollywood Handbook - The Masked Engineer, Our Masked Friend
Episode Date: January 21, 2019SHAUN DISTON is loving it when The Boys have some fun with the masked engineer. This episode is sponsored by Harry's ( www.harrys.com/HANDBOOK ) and Robinhood ( www.HANDBOOK.robinhood.com ).S...ee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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this is a head gum podcast
oh i had a um story i wanted i started i want to finish telling you oh okay i am with rob Reiner. And we are, we sold it. Off the success of Glass, we've taken two of his movies, two characters, put them together in another movie.
So it's Colonel Nathan Jessup.
Yes.
From?
From Fugimans.
Yes, from the Fugimans.
Fugimans.
And Jennifer Aniston's character from rumor has it
who whoa that hang on give me a second take your time honestly take all the time you need
well now jennifer aniston's character from rumor has it who if you recall uh i of course i'm sure you do but she was she thought
that kevin costner might be her dad from a prep school fling that her mom had with kevin costner
who is of course beau his was Bo. Of course.
And also possibly that her mother was the inspiration for Mrs. Robinson, the graduate.
And they now, she is with Colonel Jessup, who ordered the Code Red.
Yes.
They are together, but she is also still kind of wondering who in the world is her dad because, as it turns out,
Bo was hit in the nards with a soccer ball when he was in prep school.
And so, impossible, all of his sperms were smushed.
Were scared.
Yes.
And they said, certainly not coming out now.
Right.
So then, yes.
So then he was not her dad.
And meanwhile, here she is thinking that maybe this new guy is her dad.
Someone who famously has said you can't handle the truth.
Yes.
And who really knew what he was talking about in that first movie?
No one ever explained it.
Or even if she was sitting in the court.
Yes.
Or who he was really talking to.
You can't see.
Or who was there or what they were even talking about. Yes.
You couldn't see anything.
Yes.
It was all, if you guys remember the scene, it was completely dark.
Mm-hmm.
On purpose.
Intentional.
Intentional in order to set up
for a potential sequel
which we're now dealing with
there was
there was a moment when we would watch
all these movies together where all these
movies were coming out where the middle third
of the movie was
completely black
such a trend
and then at the same time
I get a new tv and all these
movies go to go back to just being able to see everything which to me now is boring it's cyclical
and it'll and it'll come back and they'll all be dark again in a little while so they have to the
plot of the movie is they have to they do 23 and me she has to to chase him to get some of his saliva,
which I'll say we have Jack for it.
He is not in great shape.
But the amount of saliva he is producing,
I almost feel like no one else could play this role.
May I say something?
May I say something?
If you are trying to honor honor glass i did not say
that but go ahead you said out based on the success of glass yes but we are just trying to
imitate it i don't care about honoring but if you're trying to imitate it okay
are these too few characters and is there perhaps another character from another Rob Reiner movie where someone is trying to find his real parents?
Okay.
I'm just telling you that Harry Shearer's character from Spinal Tap is in it.
But anyway, go ahead.
Bruce Willis Bunny from North.
The Bruce Willis Bunny from North.
Yes.
Who is known for helping people on a quest to find their real father.
Yes, that's really good.
That's literally what he's known for.
Uh-huh.
And he seems like he might be in Glass, although they definitely don't want to make a big deal out of it.
I don't see any reason why Split can't be in your movie.
Oh, yeah.
Split.
It turns out that all the characters are Split.
Oh, wow. And the It turns out that all the characters are Split. Oh, wow.
And the movie called Wood.
Yes.
Hollywood Handbook.
Hey, the show is off to a rollicking good start,
and not only that, we have a great premise and idea.
And just for a minute, hang on, who's our guest today?
He's going the distant.
His first name is Sean.
That's really good.
Good stuff.
I like Detroit Distins.
I like, you know, Hurry Up and Distin.
Yeah.
Hurry Up and Distin.
Sort of a play on hurry up and wait.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This town.
Yeah.
No, it is the job.
Yeah. Yeah. That's what the job is. it is what, it is the job. Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what the job is.
What is this tin?
That's me.
That's pretty good.
If I'm like, I'm holding up lots with a question mark.
Right, right.
It's like with a Jamaican accent.
Yeah.
What is this ting?
What is, yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
So you did the show.
Yeah.
I was just a stupid guy.
We did.
Yeah, I think it's good to make clear.
You weren't playing a Jamaican guy.
You were just playing a guy that's dumb, has brain problems.
I was not playing a Jamaican guy.
I was playing a guy with a mental problem.
And you were playing a smart, curious Jamaican guy.
Oh, yeah.
I was playing a really smart Jamaican guy.
And the thing that he's holding is not like an obvious thing.
No, it's definitely a question.
It's like a complicated machine.
Anyone would be asking this question.
Yeah.
But just in a different way.
And my guy was just holding
like a piece of snow.
What is this tin?
It's melting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
You did the show.
Did it. We did Golden Globes predictions. We did the show. Did it.
We did Golden Globes predictions.
We did do that. Unfortunately, we had the freaking corporate brothers on the show last week.
Did not have any ideas for what to do.
Yep.
And so ate a little bit of your lunch.
Okay, yeah.
They kind of just sort of did it again.
If you've met those guys, we were like, let's do something where we can be doing a lot of it.
You know what I mean?
Right, right, right.
You were just like, these guys aren't necessarily going to pop on the show.
So let us really.
Well, it's unfortunate because when we did the Golden Globes predictions with you, it was maybe not best tailored to your talents.
Right.
You'd never seen the Golden Globes.
And you didn't really know what they were. It was maybe not best tailored to your talents. Right. You'd never seen the Golden Globes. Never.
And you didn't really know what they were.
No.
With these guys, it was good because we were able to sort of corral them.
We could create a very specific framework where we could ask them to do one thing,
and then when they didn't do it, we could just kind of grab it and do it.
Right.
Yeah, yeah, that sounds like probably, that's so you think what are we gonna do now you're
pissed yeah i wanted to i'm sort of like was expecting to come back i had watched the like
sort of older clips oh you really got into it and oh you want everything about it the new ones and
the old oh shit it became part of your brand yeah i binged some of the older ones you know
well people were coming up to you on the streets right yeah and just being like hey golden globes coming up what do you think about the ggs
and i was like oh fuck all right i gotta be ready you binged the golden i did i started at the first
and i really like wow it's really you know when somebody says to me what do you think about the I go, Alan and Hadid? Uh-huh.
Yes.
What do they say?
They go, no.
Right.
And so guess what?
We have maybe the best idea we ever are doing. We have a new thing for me?
Yes.
And it's tailored to sort of my...
This is perfect for you.
You're a super fan of this kind of thing.
Right.
I, of course, also have done
my research this time.
And you are, if I'm not mistaken,
good friends with Robin Thicke.
Yeah.
Then you're gonna love it.
Great. And you thought the blurred lineshuh. Then you're gonna love it. Great.
And you thought
the Blurred Lines thing,
you were like,
come on.
What are we...
What are we fucking...
I just want to clarify,
when we say Robin Thicke,
yes, we mean
the Blurred Lines singer.
Yeah.
Not Robin Thicke.
The show that Rob Dyrdek
is doing now,
because I don't know
if you heard,
Big died.
So he found a guy
named Thicke.
Yes.
He is not... They call him Thicke, but he is not Big. So he found a guy named Thick. Yes. He is not.
They call him Thick, but he is not Big.
So we're not talking about that show.
He's just Thick.
We're not talking about the show or those two guys.
We're talking Robin Thick, the singer, Blurred Lines.
Which is just a song.
Yeah, and I remember when...
We're having fun.
Yeah, I remember when he was making the video,
and he was like, yeah, we're going to have these girls dancing around.
And I was like, what if they were tabless?
Yeah, I remember you. Yes to have these girls dancing around. I was like, what if they were topless? Yeah.
I remember you.
Yes.
I remember you saying that.
And I think it really,
at this point,
people look back at that choice
and they think,
pretty good choice.
Well,
I've gotten to know you a little bit
and you do have these brainstorms
every now and then
where something will be happening.
We'll be watching a movie
or we'll be listening to a song
and you'll go like wouldn't mind if
these chicks were top exactly there are just times where that pops into my head we'll see
it might pop in today i don't know i don't really know how that will work in the political realm too
a lot of times they're like how do we get rid of this how do we like stop shutdown? I was like, I got an idea.
Let's loosen up a little bit.
We're shutting things down.
Let's open them up.
You're friends with Robin Thicke.
I am.
Open them up.
The tops?
No, it's like a bra that clasps in the front.
That's what I meant.
They have those now.
Yeah.
I've seen a couple.
Rob, on the same person?
No, no.
I'm on Tinder.
Oh, okay.
I see.
I do that.
I hit the streets.
I want to talk about your friends with Robin Thicke.
Yeah.
Oh. Who is trying to be the detective to reveal, discover the Masked Singer.
He's obsessed.
Is he really?
Yes.
He's gone mad.
I haven't talked to him in a couple days.
He's a band.
I don't know if you hear.
He lost his family.
He's too obsessed with the case?
Because he was too obsessed with the case of the Masked Singer.
Well, it's tough.
He never worked late nights, Chinese takeout box,
just like throwing them against
the wall.
Big bulletin board with all strings, different colored strings connecting and a map.
Connected like masks.
Pins on a map.
Yes.
And Paula Patton is like, I don't even remember who you are.
Well, is that what we're doing today?
And he lost his identity as he's trying to figure out the identity of the best singer.
That's pretty ironic and fun.
Yes, we are going to do that today.
Except we are doing it with the engineer.
And the show is called The Masked Engineer.
Uh-huh.
So we are going to be hearing performances, individual performances from each engineer.
Then we'll get a second.
Kevin, have you prepared clues packages
for each of the engineers?
I can.
And they need identities.
Like, they have to be the bog man.
Yeah, well, yes.
Yes, for instance, in the...
Aquaman.
Yes, one of them has to be the Aquaman.
One of them should be the Aquaman.
On Masked Singer, for for instance Tommy Chung was the pineapple
and they would say
the pineapple would come out and he'd be like
I'm an OG and I had some tough times
but I'm doing good and they'd go
pineapple were you ever part of a
comedy troupe
and the pineapple would go like
yeah
and then it would be like
it's pineapple versus the raven.
So we want to be able to do that.
So we got to pit them against each other.
We need clues, packages.
We have to be able to ask them questions.
How many of them are there?
That's what I need to know.
That's the only thing I get to know.
How many are back there?
There should be four.
There's four?
That rocks.
This place is crawling with them now
this rocks
and I do want to point out
that these guys
have basically become
celebrities
thanks to us
oh yeah
I'm not totally familiar
with like their names
and faces
you've been very focused
on the Globes
for the last year
as these guys
have kind of
ascended to celebrity
thanks to us
I've heard things like
Devin and Jordan,
but I don't know what they look like or who they are.
And should we assign ourselves to be one of the Masked Singer judges?
I assume you'd like to be Robin Thicke.
Of course.
I represent my boy.
Now, do I want to be Nicole Scherzinger?
Is Ken Jeong in every episode?
Ken Jeong, Nicole Scherzinger, and Jenny McCarthy.
I mean, the grouping, you can see one person from every aspect of the entertainment industry.
Yes, and just a group that just wants to hang.
So, who do I feel like?
I could be Jenny McCarthy.
I don't think I've got the goods for Ken.
Okay, you want to be Nicole?
He delivers pretty hard.
Maybe I should be Nicole.
Okay, you want to be Nicole?
He delivers pretty hard.
Maybe I should be Nicole.
I also want to clarify when I say that they've become celebrities thanks to us, the engineers,
that thanks is purely, that's just a phrase.
It has never been articulated by them in any way.
Right.
Despite everything we've done for them, that word has never come out of their mouth one time. So when just want to say thanks to us. It's totally theoretical.
This is what I have heard from them.
Are you ready?
I actually have to go.
Can you guys
stop
actually having a nice conversation
and do the show? I actually have something
to do after this.
I need to set up for spot.
No, you don't.
I gotta put in the candles.
Who likes it by candlelight?
Yeah, it takes forever. He's put out one
thing of buttons.
Buttons are in a box.
Gotta open the box.
Is that what we're gonna be hearing
from the engineers?
That kind of thing?
I hope not.
I want a performance.
I want a real performance.
We've got one performance from each engineer.
And if they want to, since they should be able to do this,
if it's just singing, I kind of won't like that.
I want them to search on YouTube the instrumental track for a song
and then sing over that track.
Yes.
I mean, where you want to really do this here.
That would be so good.
Like when the alien on Masked Singer did Feel It Still.
Yes.
If they want to do that, that's fine.
If they want to do Feel It Still from the alien on Masked Singer,
I'm completely in favor of that. Should they all just do it? They want to do Feel It Still from the Alien on Masked Singer.
I'm completely in favor of that. Should they all just do it?
If every engineer wants to do Feel It Still.
Their different take on Feel It Still.
By the Alien on Masked Singer.
Who do you think the alien is, Sean?
I don't know.
I think they're definitely.
Ken Jeong was like, that's a hot alien.
And Jenny McCarthy was
like you're really into that alien.
Yeah and he was like yeah it's hot.
Yeah he thought the alien was
so hot and he was like come on I'm
married but he was like but come on that
alien's hot.
And you know when they have a
mask on I feel like you can say
that. Yeah because you're talking about an alien.
Well, yeah.
It's K-Pax.
Yeah.
Would anybody be upset if we said K-Pax was fucking hot?
No.
And again, you separate the art from the artist.
Yeah.
Of course.
It's always been my position.
You know, the thing about that alien, maybe you should take the top off.
Uh-oh.
Okay. Here we go. Uh-oh. Okay.
Here we go.
He's going the distant.
What, do you say who you think the alien is?
It's interesting, because I think there's going to be, like, the Mr. X.
I think the Tommy Chong was the, like, very easy one, you know, and as it gets harder.
Tommy Chong, Chong yeah instantly recognizable
voice he's sort of in the forefront of your mind like as soon as you see somebody dressed as a
pineapple you go like well come on it's Tommy Chong it's too easy yeah of course it's pineapple
Kush yeah and OG Kush he said he was OG he was OG that's the dead giveaway we were talking to Carl Tart who had not seen the show
and you just mentioned
that the guy was an OG
and Carl was like
George Lopez
and we said
George Lopez
famous OG
that's the oldest
George I know
and now we're just
repeating segments
from our Patreon show
what's that show called?
it's called
The Flagrant Ones
that's pretty good hashtag The Flagrant Ones!
Hashtag The Flagrant Ones.
Did you say who you thought that was? I feel like it could be Hillary.
Yeah.
I think it's going to be one of those things
where it's like, oh, I didn't realize Hillary was that hot
until she put the alien in.
And that she had those pipes.
She had those sick pipes.
And that is the song that she would do.
The alien's in sort of a space version of a pantsuit.
It's true.
Which is her signature look.
And she calls herself Portugal the Woman.
Yeah, that's right.
That is right.
Remember, she used to do that in her stump speech.
Yeah.
And in a way, feel it still is just Portugal the Woman.
You know the Portugal feeling bummed.
Exactly.
And then we'll talk about that a little bit,
and then she'll say, I'm not running for president in 2020.
Right.
That's what she's using.
And then she gives a big wink.
But the alien is.
Right.
Right.
That you're allowed.
She's allowed to do it again if it's an alien.
That could be good.
Can I meet the first, the first masked engineer
and I want to hear first
I guess their secret like identity name
Yes please. From Kevin
I want you to assign it. Do you know
who the first one is?
No. Okay.
That's really good.
Okay. So you're playing
the game essentially.
I can find out who it is.
If they would like to message me,
who's going first.
Well,
no,
I think we can actually,
because normally it doesn't matter.
It's not like connected to the person.
So you just assign them an identity.
They're just paired versus each other.
The way it works on the show is two will go against each other.
It'll be the bunny rabbit versus the bumblebee.
And then the bumblebee will get the least votes,
then they end up in the bottom half.
Then the three performers that end up in the bottom half,
one of them gets voted off and unmasked.
So we could pit actually two of the engineers
against each other.
Right.
Do a little tournament, yeah.
And then have a loser's bracket.
Okay.
So let's hear, this is the first singer.
What are we going to refer to them as?
The first engineer. This is the centipede. are we going to refer to them as? The first engineer.
This is the centipede.
The centipede.
Okay.
And that's what I think Donald Trump, like Reddit people call themselves.
Okay.
So it's a Reddit Donald Trump.
It's R the Donald.
Yes.
Okay.
And it's the centipede.
And we do have the Aquaman coming up, we know.
Yeah. and it's okay and it's the centipede and we do have the aquaman coming up we know yeah is one of them the jackal but it's reference to like cj from the west wing being the jackal you haven't seen shakespeare the way it's meant to be played
okay that'd be good uh okay so this is the centipede the aquaman the jackal
and who's the fourth one? The hedgehog.
Oh, okay.
Oh, in honor of BB-8.
Yes.
Because of BB-8.
The elegant Mr. BB-8.
Solo bolo.
Ben Schwartz and Kid Cudi discovered that they were mutual fans of each other the other day.
And I'm still screaming.
I can't stop smiling.
Oh, my God.
I cannot stop smiling. my god i cannot stop
smiling that really made my day i'm still screaming i know we're joking around made my day
okay so let's say let's let's make clear what we're going to hear this is the centipede and we are going to hear them sing a song with music
okay
and now and the curtain is coming up
and let's hear a performance
from the centipede Wow, lost the beat
immediately.
Holy shit.
Now you're
here. Now
you're away.
I get this.
I never forget.
I never forget.
I know you're out.
I know you're out. I know you're out. Oh, shit, man. Wow. oh shit man wow
holy shit
thank you centipede
wow it's so great to
to meet you centipede
tell us a little about yourself
this is the centipede
okay okay oh god all the other podcasts Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, God.
All the other podcasts should be so jealous.
Sam, and we have to figure this out the way the judges do.
Okay, Centipede.
Well, you're obviously a seasoned performer.
Maybe they have a lot of shoes, and they're famous for owning a lot of different shoes.
Maybe it's Michael Jordan.
Engineer Michael Jordan.
This is not Engineer Michael Jordan.
Okay.
Okay.
Centipede.
They're low to the ground.
Is it Peter Dinklage?
This is not Peter Dinklage.
Okay, Centipede.
Okay, hold on. Centipede, like the movie Human centipede okay hold on
centipede
like the movie
human centipede
uh huh
so it's a human
yes
okay
is it
Philip Glass
this is not
Philip Glass
can we stitch this in later
I was
I forgot to do something
that they do during
literally every performance
on the Masked Singer
which is I was supposed
to turn to Hayes
and go
I feel like I know that voice.
Right.
And they'll go like, okay, so it's a performer.
It's a professional performer.
Okay, definitely a performer.
Okay, Santa P, can we hear a few more details
maybe about like your backstory?
And please be big.
Don't like tell us.
Don't just tell us.
You're correct about the shoes.
I'm the centipede for owning many pairs of shoes.
He's the centipede for owning many pairs of shoes.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Now, let me just remember who the engineers are.
This could take me a second.
Engineer.
Brett.
Engineer Jordan.
Engineer Devin. And Engineer Brett. Engineer Jordan. Engineer Devin.
And Engineer Ryan.
Engineer Cody's return, I just want to say, if it did happen now, that would really be insane.
I thought about that as soon as I got in, that if they revealed one to be Engineer Cody, for me it would be the most satisfying experience I've ever had.
I would absolutely lose my shit and I'd never get it back.
Okay.
Owning many pairs of shoes.
There's a very fun echo that...
Sometimes.
That effect, yes.
It's very fun.
Used sparingly.
And that could be a clue.
An echo.
Okay, so are you from a cave?
Are you Engineer Caveman?
Oh, Bin Laden.
Because we haven't seen him in a long time.
This is not Engineer Bin Laden.
Okay.
Engineer, do you have any brothers and sisters?
I do not have brothers or sisters.
Engineer only child.
Okay.
That unfortunately, I've had to listen to like hundreds of hours of these people telling me basically everything about themselves without me ever asking.
And so I do know that does rule out at least one engineer.
Okay.
Do we hear from the other singer?
Yeah, we got a lot of information.
Do we now move on?
So this is the first bracket.
So this person is competing
against the centipede
and then someone will be eliminated.
Yes.
And then we will guess
and that person will be unmasked.
Correct?
Is that how it goes?
I have only seen clips of the show.
Well, no.
So there will be a second performance.
We'll vote one of them into the bottom.
Then there will be two more performances.
We'll vote one of them into the bottom.
Then the two people on the bottom will both be against each other.
They don't have to perform again.
Right.
What do they do?
They stand there while we vote.
So it'll end up being like if it was like
the Centipede and Aquaman, we go like,
one of you will be unmasked tonight.
Can this episode be two hours?
Yes. I just want to say,
the bar with the song selection
is high enough now that if I hear
Feel It Still, I will be mad.
That's right. I will be disappointed.
That was a great left field. I did not
think Bush was coming.
Yes, I loved that.
I have a question. Did one of the engineers
drop out?
Engineer, can you answer?
One of the engineers did drop out.
So there's three of them?
I guess so.
How many of you are there?
There are three.
That's a huge...
That's never happened on the show.
That's big.
It definitely changes the format.
Oh, wow.
Should we unmask the one that dropped out?
No, we shouldn't because that would rule out somebody.
Make it too easy, yeah. Yeah yeah we want as big a pool as
possible um okay so let's move on to the next so this is the aquaman correct that's right yes okay
who left the hedgehog yes the hedgehog left okay uh so let's hear a performance and let's meet the Aquaman
they're like
which one of me
you go
you wanna be the Aquaman
okay
what's on YouTube
alright play it
such a long intro.
A guy in an Aquaman, like, elaborate costume walks out on stage.
The Trident.
6 a.m.
Day after Christmas.
How is it so hard?
Throw some clothes on in the dark.
The smell of cold.
Car seat is freezing.
The world is sleeping.
I am numb.
The masks must make it so you can't hear what you're singing over.
Up the stairs.
I feel like I know that voice.
She is balled up on the couch.
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte.
They're not home to find us out.
And we drive. They're not home to find us out.
And we drive.
I have found someone.
I'm feeling more alone.
Than I ever have before. She's a brick
and I'm drowning
slowly
Off the coast and I'm
headed nowhere
She's a brick
and I'm drowning
slowly
Wow. That was really
nice. So was really nice.
So not a professional.
Not a performer.
Not a professional singer.
Honestly, this rules out, boy,
I mean, if this were Engineer Jordan,
who has a BA in vocal performance. This would be very embarrassing.
Devastating.
I mean, it would cost her.
You should go home and her diploma,
there would be like a white space on the wall
that was a little more faded than the rest of the wall.
I do not want to get Engineer Jordan's
diploma repossessed, but she has a
BA in vocal performance.
Maybe the mask
could be attributed
with some of the issues,
but I just
don't think it's Engineer Jordan.
Okay. Unfortunately,
the other
three engineers are three white guys in their mid-30s.
And so that, like any one of them would pick this song.
Okay.
Aquaman.
Yes.
The Aquaman.
Yes.
So Aquaman is water, which makes me think of swimming
Engineer Aquaman
are you Michael Phelps?
I am not Michael Phelps
Engineer Aquaman are you Ryan Lochte?
I am not
Ryan Lochte
okay
I mean I honestly
I know who this is just from the inflection
I do too
you guys do
I'm just pretending not to know it's Engineer Devin
yeah it's Engineer Devin
just a little bite on all the
responses
it's like yeah I know I'm fucking joking
I'll be honest
I'm not that familiar with the engineers, but that would have also been my guess.
Are you?
Sorry, Engineer Aquaman.
Does baffle gabs mean anything to you?
It does not.
Okay.
We better hear a third performance.
Yeah, I think it's time to move on to the jackal.
I don't think, I mean, they don't have to sing the jackal.
Yeah.
But they could.
So far, the two songs have been great.
They've been really good, but I'd love to hear the Jackals sing, and
maybe there's... I'm excited at what
would be chosen. So,
we're going to now meet our
third masked engineer. I have a guess
at a song that would be good.
Oh, well,
we can request maybe for, like, the final
showdown. Yeah, we request a song. They all
three sing a song,
and we get to request it okay but you
can save it okay i i have an idea for something that would this is the most fun i've ever had in
my life and i never wanted to uh okay let's hear let's meet uh the and the new mast engineer
the name is the engineer the jackal i think I know who this one is for sure.
Oh, she's a brick house.
She's mighty, mighty.
Just letting it all hang out.
She's a brick house.
Very Engineer Ryan-y.
And that's a fact.
Ain't holding nothing back.
She's a brick house.
House. Well, we're together. And that's a fact, ain't hold nothing back She's gonna bring it, house, house
Well, we're together, everybody knows how the story goes
She knows she got everything that woman needs
That woman needs
To get a man, yeah, yeah
And how can she lose the stuff she use?
36, 24, 36
Ah, what's a winning hand?
Wow.
He was off rhythm, but it seemed like it was a choice.
Yeah.
It seemed like he or she
was putting their own spin on Brick House,
a song we all know by heart.
Yeah. Huh. Yeah.
Huh.
Okay.
Bosh is so upset when we get this much joy from the performance.
I know.
Well, when it's not about him.
Yeah.
When he's not the one getting laughs.
Well, I'm sure he's disappointed.
Then it's always like, I don't want to do his voice, but it's always like,
is this more of like a Bch bit we could be doing?
Like, this would fit better for me.
I think he's upset no one chose Buttsquat Bop Around to be the song they performed to.
Which was his famous single.
So, Engineer the Jackal, so nice to meet you.
Tell us a little about yourself.
Hello.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Engineer the Jackal.
Hello.
The famous song, could it be Adele?
This is not Adele.
Dude, you're getting Adele.
Are you the dude you're getting Adele kid, Engineer the Jackal?
I've never heard of that.
Interesting. That's a huge
detail. Never
heard of the dude you're getting
Adele guy.
Okay. Any other
details? And you can
be very vague.
I have hair.
Okay.
So just not
really funny.
Which
engineer
Okay.
Okay. Has hair.
Hmm.
Hmm.
So it's not Michael Jordan
you know what we haven't talked about Engineer Sam
much have we
and it did occur to me that it could be
Engineer Sam
I think he would have done more on the first detail
than just saying hello
hmm
interesting
what's something I should know about Engineer Sam
Engineer Sam used to have a motorcycle.
He was wrecking it constantly.
He has sleeve tattoos.
What else?
Yeah, this all sounds like Engineer type stuff.
He's friends with Ryan Beverly. He's friends with ron and beverly
he's friends with the milwaukee brewers he loves them he wants to be
the bat boy for the milwaukee brewers and he's been auditioning
uh i don't know so i mean do we do we make our official guesses now how does it work
do we do do we vote someone out?
Yes, we vote someone to be revealed.
Then we all put in our final guess.
And then after all of our final guess, they reveal themselves.
Okay.
Now, it is really...
The person who went first just gets so much credit for the joy of the premise being fulfilled.
And so I just can't possibly...
No. The centipede is like a hero to me now. for the joy of the premise being fulfilled. So I just can't possibly.
The centipede is like a hero to me now.
The centipede is not going to be voted. I would say it's between Aquaman and Engineer the Jackal.
Or an Engineer the Jackal.
I just want to say it's Engineer the Aquaman.
Engineer the Aquaman.
Okay, so Engineer the Aquaman.
My vote for who to, are we voting for who to save or who to unmask?
I vote to unmask Engineer the Aquaman.
Okay.
Maintain the more mystery for longer.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah, I'll do that as well.
I'll vote for Engineer the Aquaman.
Do they get to, What do they do?
They just take off their mask,
or do they give a farewell performance?
They take off their mask,
and then they give a farewell performance
now that they've been unmasked.
Without the voice discussion.
That sounds great.
Let's just have them do their song over, I think.
Yes.
Hold on, let me grab my song.
Get a break out.
Okay, so
sing your song without
your voice disguiser.
Okay.
And I think before you start
singing, just say who you are.
No, no, we'll who you are. No, no. I like that.
We'll tell you based on the voice.
This is the show now.
We're only going to do this.
6 a.m.
It's Ryan.
Day after Christmas.
What?
Throw some clothes on in the dark.
Oh my God.
Huge. Smell of cold.
Car seat is freezing.
Of course he picked a song.
World's sleeping.
About abortion.
I am numb.
Numb.
Numb.
So it wasn't the mask hindering the sort of rhythm.
Interesting to choose a song he's never heard before.
Up the stairs to her apartment.
So fast.
Great, great.
She is balled up on the couch.
I'm trying to help you, but I know.
Mom and dad went down to Charlotte.
Too fast.
They're not home to find us out now.
And
we drive.
Now that I
have found someone,
I'm feeling more
alone
than I
ever have before.
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Congratulations, engineer.
Wow, engineer. You tricked me. You, Engineer Ryan. Wow, Engineer Ryan, you tricked me.
You really fooled us.
And I think it's a learning experience for you about yourself
that when you are in a disguise, in a mask,
you basically become Engineer Devon.
Yes, that you felt entitled in some way
to be able to give us a little bit of sass
the way that Engineer Devin often does.
But you were honest about the baffle gaps question.
Yes, you were.
Which, looking back, should have been a big hint.
Yes, you cannot lie.
Do I come in there?
Wow, now he wants to be part of the show.
Yes, Engineer Ryan, please come in.
All right, Engineer Ryan.
It's Sam.
What?
It wasn't Engineer Ryan.
It was Sam the whole time.
Hi, everybody.
Engineer Sam.
Wow, they're so...
This is crazy.
I'm learning so much, which is that when Engineer Sam sings, he is Engineer Ryan.
But when he talks with a voice disguiser, he's Engineer Devin.
It's almost as if these white guys are almost indiscernible.
And also, what makes this game tough is it kind of feels like after five years of doing this,
I really don't know the engineers at all.
Oh, yeah.
It does make me feel like this was a better idea than I thought.
Oh, God, yeah.
Because I really was fooled, and the one that I thought was the most obvious I didn't know at all,
which puts everyone on the table for the other two.
I mean, Engineer Devin could still be in there.
I'll say this about you, Engineer Sam.
Yeah.
I thought you, and I mean this as a compliment,
I thought you would be a better singer.
You know what?
Visually, you would think so.
Right?
You feel like a musical, yes, exactly.
I'm looking at a front man.
If I can't sing, what is the point of all this look?
And just, I think even if you weren't,
I really thought you would know the rhythm of Brick really well.
You know what Sam, we know, likes to party?
What he's been listening to is the Brick house remix.
I thought when I picked Brick, it would be that second The Brick House song.
I was not aware there was a piano one.
Piano one.
The Brick House remix, known as Brick House.
Okay, got it.
I see.
Got it.
Okay, well, we've got two engineers left.
Two engineers left in the final showdown.
Do they team up on a song?
I'm going to get back in there and help them.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Interesting.
That's a clue.
Good to know.
So it is Engineer Cody.
What would be nice is when everyone's unmasked, we all sing a song together.
Oh, my God.
I can't wait.
Now, you had a song suggestion that you wanted to do for the face-off,
or do we sing that one all together?
No, for our final, I have a song for all of us to sing together
that I think will be good and kind of in keeping with what has been happening,
and we can all sing it as a group.
That's great.
That's really nice.
Okay, Sean, do you want to pick a song for the battle?
Yeah, let's do, um,
let's do shoot.
Let's do shoot by salt and pepper.
Yeah. I think they could hit.
They could probably handle that.
Okay.
So this is a do what?
Yeah.
Ideally they're going to switch off.
They're going to,
yes,
they're going to be flipping between voice disguisers.
And I thought I'd pick a karaoke classic that they've definitely heard and know the words
to.
Yes.
And stuff.
Yes.
Uh, boy, if engineer Sam's going in there to help, can I just say
Engineer Brett's not here.
Here's the thing.
Engineer Devin
has also at least been trying to
carve out a space as
Mr. Sound
Loving Man.
He has all these freaky mics
and stuff. And he has all these freaky mics and stuff.
Yeah.
And Engineer Ryan
is all about
effects.
Strange effects.
Yeah.
Engineer Ryan may have been like,
I'm not going to do this.
He might have failed last week.
But Engineer Jordan...
I guess any of them would have been.
No one is blowing me away vocally.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
They all sound like white guys.
For sure. Yeah. I mean, I don't... No one in there has away vocally. Yeah. They all sound like white guys, for sure.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't... No one in there has a BA in vocal performance.
I believe there's a possibility that the third performer, the Jackal, was Engineer Jordan.
Oh.
And for me, it's on the table.
Right.
Because Brick House isn't a song that really you're using your vocal performance in.
I think the Brick House thing was like, it was sort of a way to,
because here's what I know about Engineer Jordan.
Despite her BA in vocal performance, she's very modest.
And doesn't really want to blow everyone away.
Oh, interesting.
So I'm not saying that's my guess.
I'm saying it's possible to me.
Okay.
The answer of hello when we asked for more. You think that was
an Engineer Jordan thing?
That felt like Engineer Riot to me.
Like her hiding her voice maybe.
Like changing to sound.
For me, that one's between those two.
Alright, let's
hear Shoop. Let's hear
the song Shoop by Salt-N-Pepa
and we are in battle
mode.
Hey, yeah, I
wanna shoot, baby.
This is not an instrumental.
A lot of vocals in the beat. It's almost all vocals.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, I'll be the whole latest one.
Ha, ha, yeah.
What's your name?
Damn, that sounds sexy.
Okay.
Huh.
Here I go, here I go, here I go.
Kick girls, what's my weakness?
Man, okay then.
Kill it, kill it, minding my business.
Yo, salt, I looked around, I couldn't believe this.
I swear I stared, my niece, my witness. The brother had it going on with some kind of, uh, wicked, wicked, had to kick it. I'm not shocked, so I asked for the digits. So this is the centipede.
Yes, this is the centipede.
Someone knows this song. Ooh.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. But now we have to hear from the jackal.
Mm-hmm. Especially in the back Brother, wanna thank your mother For a butt like that Can I get some fries
With a shake shake boobie
Looks like could kill
You'd be with an Uzi
See a shotgun bang
What's up with that thang
I wanna know
How does it hang
This could be Ryan
Without a voice disguise
Okay, it's not Jordan
I was wrong
But wait, I think
Centipede could be Jordan
You think so?
Could be I think so From the way think centipede could be Jordan. You think so? Could be.
I think so.
God damn.
From the way the centipede knew this song.
Yeah.
You're saying it has to be a woman.
No, but she was, you know, getting into the parts that the women really love.
Women know this song pretty well.
Yeah.
That was a woman's song.
The fact that they said my niece, my witness properly.
That was crazy.
And not my weese, my nitness, which I used to always fall into somehow.
My weese, my nitness.
Okay.
Yeah, that would be my guess.
Oh, that's a good t-shirt idea, Kevin.
My weese, my nitness.
So, okay.
So, I guess we decide who won the battle.
It was pretty close.
It was close.
I definitely got a bigger laugh.
The centipede, I stand the centipede.
I know, the centipede I think is better.
The centipede is better, but I laughed harder.
The jackal really made me laugh when he was talking about a butt like that.
Yeah.
It's true.
It was good.
So let's vote.
I would say if I were to vote on who to unmask, and then the winner would be the person that
keeps their mask, right?
Yes, that's right.
Okay, mask off. So we never find out.
Mask off, I'm gonna say the Jackal.
I agree.
I stand the centipede.
I'm a centipede stand.
Okay, so now we are gonna hear
a song of their choosing.
That they sing with no mask.
That they sing with no mask. That they sing with no mask.
And then we have a second chance to guess.
And then we'll probably be wrong.
And then we can get that wrong.
And then they'll come in here and we'll still kind of be like, oh, okay.
That face looks familiar.
So we'll hear a song of their choosing with no mask.
Then.
Then we'll guess wrong.
They'll be revealed.
Yes.
Then.
Then.
We will all together
sing the final song with no mask
and after that the unmasked singer
the centipede will come in
and find out who they were
what a fun day
okay
okay Okay.
This is the jackal.
I just want to let them know.
Because they fuck up all the time.
Every night in my dreams, I see you.
I feel you.
Oh.
That is how I know you. Not Engineer Jordan.
Go on.
Ryan.
Is it?
Or it could be Devin.
Far across the distance.
Ooh, my last name's Devin.
Between us. Ooh, my last name is Devin. Wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more, you open the door.
And you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on.
Okay.
All right.
Come on in.
Do we guess now?
I guess it's Ryan.
I would have to say yes because I don't know the difference.
Although, I mean, giving more to the performance than I would expect Ryan to,
but I've underestimated a lot of people.
I also think it's Engineer Ryan.
I'm learning so much.
You were leaning on Devin.
I'm going to go Devin.
I'm going to go Devin just to be different.
Come on in, Engineer.
Colin!
Colin!
Holy shit! Holy shit! engineer Cody Cody Cody holy shit
engineer Cody
holy shit
what a
crazy
oh my god
holy shit
for the audience
honest to god
bedlam in here when Cody
runs in holy shit
wow
engineer Cody sit down is this mic
on he's back
hello hello talk to me
Cody who put up your bail
of course
he's done his time Talk to me, Cody. Who put up your bail? Of course.
He's done his time.
Fuck, man.
The judge is like, oh, it's her messenger.
That's like a great preface.
Jesus.
Yeah, that was exciting.
Wow.
Okay, Cody.
And now it's totally making sense. We gave him an opportunity to do something
and ask for any detail about himself,
and all he had was hello.
A person who already was like the Titanic itself,
rusting at the bottom of the ocean,
is now a year rustier.
Another clue, and we didn't even pick it up.
Unbelievable.
Unreal.
So I do have to say, and we did't even pick it up. Unbelievable. Unreal. And so I do have to say,
and we did mention it earlier,
like I walked in, I sat down,
and the first thought I had was like,
wow, if Engineer Cody was here,
that would be a really great surprise.
And I thought maybe he is.
I totally lost it. And I can still feel his vibrations.
More so than any other engineer.
Yeah.
If Cody's in the building
you can feel it
there's just
there's sort of a shroud
the foundation quivers
a pig pen style
aura that surrounds you
wow
god damn man well tell us cody how's life on the other side man
it's you know it's living wow i feel like i'm already i'm like okay this is plenty
the memory of cody so much more satisfying
of Cody so much more satisfying.
It was also funny to have him walk in and then you guys went crazy and I was like,
I still don't know who this is.
Cody, do you want to just...
I mean, you have a quick opportunity here.
You want to shout out your resume real quick?
Quick TV.
Cody's talking to you.
I don't have one yet.
Are they paying you to be here?
We haven't discussed it, but maybe.
So, no. You don't get
after the fact. You've been out
in the business world for a little while.
You want to have that conversation before the job.
Cody, if you get a smartphone someday and put Venmo on it, we'll hit you up for showing
up for the masked engineer.
Don't worry.
We'll take care of you.
Perfect.
Okay.
We still have the centipede.
This is great.
So we're going to do like a group song now.
Now we're all going to sing together a song that you have chosen. So this is what I So we're going to do a group song now. Now we're all going to sing together.
A song that you have chosen, correct?
So this is what I think we should sing.
I think we should sing
Good Riddance, parenthesis,
Time of Your Life by Green Day.
I think that's great.
As a total group, the mask is gone,
and so we'll be listening to what...
Maybe they start it off and we come in.
That's great
oh my god
and I don't really
I don't like know
the lyrics
but
I know the rhythm
well I know the very beginning
which I'm not gonna be singing
so
so it'll be great
yes
this has been a very
I mean I feel like
wow thank you
this is a special episode
I'm glad you were here
right
imagine if you've been there
to our Globes shit
Golden Globes yeah
that corporate one Kevin said the one we didn't even do good numbers.
They were on every other podcast that week.
I saw Jake Wiseman tweet it out, a link to our episode,
and he wrote Hollywood fucking handbook.
And I was like, oh, that's cool.
He's into the show.
And then a day later, he tweets out, who fucking charted?
And I'm like, oh.
Oh, that's the way he promotes.
A little cheapened now.
Okay.
So we're singing the song.
And this is with all of the engineers and led by the mast engineer.
Oh, yeah.
Let me look up the lyrics.
Engineer the centipede.
This is the winner.
Yes, this is the winner.
All right, we go to space real quick.
That's like Metro lyrics.
Okay.
Fake screw up
alright
another turning point
a fork stuck in the road
I want the set of beat back
who's this
where to go
so make the best of this doesn't know the song I want the centipede basket. Who's this?
Doesn't know the song. I hope you had the time of your life. Ha ha! So take the photographs and still frames in your mind.
Hang them on a shelf in good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
for what it's worth
it was worth all the while
it's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life All right.
Do we have any final guesses on?
Sounds like Devin.
That's Engineer Devin.
Yeah.
That's my guess
Devin had to be Snow
I'll have to agree
Come on in Engineer
Sorry you didn't like
When I sang at the end
It's Frank
It's Engineer Devin
Wow
The winner
The winner
The big winner
I gotta say
Jeez Devin
That's gotta feel good
That we tried to clown on you
When we thought Sam was you
Hello My first reaction
when I started to hear
real Devin again was that I did
miss the centipede. Can we...
The centipede is a good sound.
It's pretty nice.
Maybe we could just go half and half
for now
where sometimes you're Devin
and sometimes you're
Engineer
let's try it
you must
I mean
this must suck for you
must be a freedom
in being the centipede
yeah
hiding behind the centipede
was nice
it's not hiding
it's improving
so you have a lot of shoes
is that what you said
I do have a lot of shoes
yeah I don't know
I was going with the centipede
you're not known for that
that was a mislead
big time mislead you're not known for that yet it. Yeah, that was a mislead. Big time mislead.
You're not known for that yet.
It's a fact though.
They're all checkered vans.
Am I correct?
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, but still.
I've never been conscious of how many men are involved in this than when we were all singing
Time of Your Life. It was offensive.
It was definitely offensive.
And you know, you know, like
shoot pretty well. Yeah. That's my
era. Interesting. Yeah, that's cool.
That was pretty crazy. And so did you.
So did you, Engineer Cody.
You were right on.
That's kind of you to say. Do you want to know
who the hedgehog would have been?
Brad. No. Jordan. It would have to say. Do you want to know who the hedgehog would have been? Brett.
No.
Jordan.
It would have been Jordan.
Well, what happened?
That would have been nice to have a woman involved.
She said she was sick.
She couldn't make it this morning.
And a BA in vocal performance.
Last night she was pretty excited about it.
She couldn't make it.
Shit.
I know.
Then she started thinking about backing up that vocal performance thing.
Yeah.
It would make me a little sick, too.
I guess she's sick real fast.
Now, does Kevin from the other booth take us out with the song just by himself?
Yeah.
Kevin is running to the other room.
I wouldn't mind if Chef Kevin kind of closed us out with a song that he chose.
Is he just gone?
Fully gone?
We didn't really give him a lot of time to come up with something.
Kevin, are you there?
Yes.
Jesus Christ.
I don't know how to use the voice modulator.
Don't.
We want to hear all straight Kevin.
Beauty queen of only 18.
Wow.
Had some trouble with herself.
Yeah, this is incredible. She was always there to help her.
She always belonged to someone else.
I drove miles and miles and wound up at your door.
That's your talk.
I've had you so many times, but somehow I want more.
Everybody, let's go.
I don't mind spending every day out on your corner in the pouring rain.
Look for a girl with a broken smile
Ask her if she wants
to stay a while
And she will
be loved
And she will
be loved
She will
That's it.
Thanks, everyone.
Wow.
Bye.
Bye.