Hollywood Handbook - The Pro Version #252: GRIFFIN NEWMAN, OUR CLOSE FRIEND

Episode Date: November 16, 2022

Un-paywalled!The Boys welcome back GRIFFIN NEWMAN to make a deal.Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and C...alifornia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. So, I think if we all have as complete as possible an understanding of all the details and the context of this, I think we can absolutely come to an arrangement on this. It's disenchanted. It's Disney Plus. Disney Plus original. Simultaneous or streaming exclusive? The only way to see it in theaters
Starting point is 00:00:35 is if you bring a streaming device into the theaters and then pull it up. Okay, so technically that's the route. Griffin, since you're working for Disney I guess you could say that uh Bob Chapek is signing your Bob paycheck
Starting point is 00:00:53 paycheck and now don't say that like if that's something that would be an issue for you to say my impression if he's gonna be pissed my impression from your behavior for the last few weeks is that the entire uh promo load is on your shoulders that somehow you were told either contractually or otherwise that it's all you the full marketing budget was just your elbow grease yeah i mean because i look this is not the part of the job
Starting point is 00:01:22 i like right at the end of the day, I'm a storyteller. It's not? The part I love is embodying these characters. Walking a mile in their shoes. Or, you know, in the case of a chipmunk bear, chipmunk feet.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Chipmunk, not a squirrel, right? Chipmunk, not a squirrel. I guess that's what the i guess that's what the promo was that's i think that was the thing so i said to disney i have a strong no promo clause what's the name nutso nutso the chipmunk or uh pip pip right i knew it was um yeah and then and then bob himself by beautiful bob chapek called me up about two months ago and he says griffin there's a lot of confusion out there in the marketplace about whether pip is a chipmunk or a squirrel if his name is nutso or pip um we're really gonna pivot this whole promo
Starting point is 00:02:18 campaign and we really want to put amy on the bench maya dempsey let's let's let them take a time out and we want you just work in the podcast scene and that's really one point didn't you have pip had a a brother in the movie named drail and it was pip and drail the two chipmunk brothers and has he been fully excised or I'm just telling you what I don't want to do too much movie like conversation just because like, so we're, we're, you can feel it. We're behind the paywall right now. Of course. No, this is an open game.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is, it's a small intimate group that are paying attention to this and anything we have to share about this project, they already know. They've heard it from you. Of course. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Like, a horrifying number of times. Yeah, too many times. But the other podcasts I'm doing, those are like Today Show, Tonight Show appearances. This is like doing a New York Times podcast. You did the Today Show podcast? No, I did Comedy Bang Bang. But no. No. is like doing a new york times you did you know this is the the today show podcast no i did comedy bang bang but no no i mean that's sort of i guess the today show of comedy bang bang in my mind is actually the yesterday show well i mean come on yeah this is the today show this is actually a
Starting point is 00:03:38 little more relevant no i just think this is a little more high brow i know you guys have a very educated audience and i feel like we can sit back we can loosen right that's part of the problem we've got some smarties it's true uh they find us you know you create the audience you crave and of course uh i think for whatever reason the people that seem to be drawn to this are incredibly intelligent right emotionally healthy people but that's the issue right like lifestyle wise these are bohemians these people are if they're if they're streaming disney plus it's at the it's at the cafe yeah it's it's not our unpaywalled audience who uh unpaywalled audience who uh are control very resource rich and uh very just like undirected in their energy and uh and their wealth orders their wealth orders yes sure right versus generational wealth yes and it's just like just spewing it ever you
Starting point is 00:04:47 just have to like point the hose in the right direction and there it goes but you ever go to you ever get up to take a leak after a night of passionate love making griffin you've been many times go on all night you've been blasting it and knowing me i've been getting it out a couple times too but go on it's true yeah griffin takes it out it's so so you know you wake up in the morning after that and and maybe you just sort of passed out after around you know 29 or however many times you go and uh and uh 69 more like it and then you didn't you didn't necessarily clean everything up and when you go to take a leak in the morning it's just shooting everywhere i mean it's everywhere it's hitting the stuff is kind of chin it's on the sink and it's in the shampoo
Starting point is 00:05:45 bottle you're going what this is out of control yeah that's sort of the closest visual illustration i can give you to the energy that our unpaywalled audience has to how they spend money too yeah the way their money goes is just hundreds over here and over there and just they'll just you know so what you got to do is you got to ideally with this episode we're going to clean them off a little bit hopefully and get them aimed at the bowl which is your film yes but financially we're we're way past doing these things without like needing something in something in return. It's quick, quick, quick. It's quick, quick, quick.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Because we've been kind of giving it away for free for a long time and you end up feeling used. Because not a lot has come back our way. How many times have you done the show? How many times have you done the show?
Starting point is 00:06:46 How many times have I done the show? We can both feeds? I'd like to in this case. I believe two pros, two main feeds. This is five? Yeah. And how many times has Hayes done Banksy? So you're calling the episodes that you did with Sarah Finowitz just a full episode for you? You're not splitting that one?
Starting point is 00:07:12 You're not taking a fraction of that one? That's a full episode? I gotta be honest, I think that episode was more Griffin than anyone else. I don't remember being super involved in it. Look, I make a lot of apologies for that episode peter really came to play and he had a lot of ideas and i just started stepping all over them and it was my over eagerness it had nothing to do with the fact that he didn't want to be there okay um yeah i think no i guess half credit on that i did it with sims twice
Starting point is 00:07:40 half on that i think i've done once solo maybe or we did a george lucas talk show so i've never this is my first time doing it solo is that with the gls and then that's not accurate yeah you never did a solo bolo you've definitely done it solo before so then i got kevin kevin huh plagiarized ones plagiarized ones yeah little plagiarized ones so that's now it's a third now that's a third so we're talking about yep yeah you got you know you mentioned all these different you know you got a lot going on but obviously um you're you've limited some of your promotional opportunities for the last uh over the last few weeks so we all have needs right now you're unable to get the message out there the way you wanted to uh yeah because your social media has been deleted by the world's richest man
Starting point is 00:08:34 i've been silenced let's let's call it what it is comedy has been made illegal and i was one of the the first felons locked up yes and i know privately you said you wanted to take advantage of headlines that were reading at the time griffin impersonates elon musk on twitter account permanently suspended yeah yeah and you see you said and at the time you said this isn't about me right now but it it's going to be in about 10 seconds. It will be. It will be. I jumped in there.
Starting point is 00:09:10 I jumped in there really quickly. And I saw I reaped the fruits of my labor when an hour later, Vulture's headline was a blank check. Co-host Griffin Newman has also been suspended from Twitter. But the photo was still of Kathy Griffin and they have not changed it and has remained kathy griffin since then uh on the tweets and it's gonna it's gonna say that it's gonna stay that way yeah and this has got to be a little bit of deja vu after you held up a beheaded trump uh you know corpse and and what can i say my recollection is that the the headlines were tepid um people didn't love it yeah but they didn't hate it either you know yeah it would have been nice if they hated it for you just in terms of your i'll tell you i mean you guys are artists
Starting point is 00:10:03 you're the same way at the end of day, you want to provoke a reaction. It's better to have someone feel something, even negative, than nothing. The most wounding part of that experience for me was when I posted the photo of me with the beheaded Trump in my hand and Barron
Starting point is 00:10:19 responded, I feel nothing. I'm not traumatized at all. This doesn't upset me my delicate sensibilities as an 18 year old boy what i saw on pace magazine was it said this is a picture yeah and that i mean that was right and baron wrote that i thought these guys don't want to commit to either side of the line here you know yeah yeah i think they amended it to say we we think this is a picture i know and not only that but they use kathy griffin's headshot for yeah of course yeah the article that was the yeah so let's talk about um just kind of ethical distribution of some of the resources we're
Starting point is 00:11:01 accumulating here kevin can you pull up the uh the the the gofundme for example yeah pull it up let's get a look at the gofundme really fast okay okay so this is i'm george lucas a connor ratliff story finishing funds finishing funds okay this is for a documentary about a podcast essentially uh you know what you're maybe even being a little too generous in that it was a documentary about a show that would be performed once a month for 60 people at the ucb theater and which grew into sort of a video streamed well available as a podcast no sure sure sure but uh the production on this documentary was completed uh before the pandemic documentary will not involve any of the of the zoom there was a little bit of pickups there was a little bit of let's do some talking heads and acknowledge what happened in between i think they've maybe used some of the the zoom
Starting point is 00:12:02 footage but uh most of it is about uh a show that happened at the UCB Hell's Kitchen for a year or two. I appreciate that. This is Kickstarter, yes? This is Kickstarter number two for this? Oh, well, sure. Yeah, no, these are just the finishing fonts. Finishing fonts. Okay. Got it. Okay. I wanted to make it clear. Cool, cool, cool.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Yeah, didn't direct produce this movie. Right, but you are obviously the beneficiary uh you know i mean i am the beholder i'm certainly i'm i'm part of it whether or not i will benefit from being featured in this documentary is a real big question okay then tell them to shut down production and i don't think you will then i don't think you will and that's because you are the beneficiary i don't see you making the phone call so i mean it says it says a connor ratliff story i mean he's the one who i think really has a lot to gain or lose from this i'm sort of noticed kind of collateral damage in the middle in the middle of this thing.
Starting point is 00:13:08 My feeling is this, Griffin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I make a podcast. Sure, yeah. Couldn't some portion of this money be used to make a documentary about me? Kevin, can you go through the financials? Yeah, let's go let's see what the what they're attributing the funds towards they're all at the top so i don't know
Starting point is 00:13:31 why we're scrolling down necessarily but the financials are already on the screen there nope at the top they're at the very top there you go kickstarter no no lower than that lower than that kevin don't read the url we know what site we're on come on help that's help us finish our documentary film right under there and to the numbers it shows all the numbers so not just the numbers u.s dollar sign 26,063 pledged of U.S. dollar sign, 15,000 goal. So the goal was 15,000. We're at 26,063 with how many days to go, Kevin? 12. 12 more days to go.
Starting point is 00:14:15 We have a minimum $11,000 sort of slush fund here. And so we're going to have piles of cash essentially moldering in this studio. They're going to have to run hair dryers on them so they don't accumulate too much moisture. It's going to be a nightmare with the IRS as well because obviously you've requested a certain amount. You've got this other amount. It's created a big problem for you guys. And I think there's a rather elegant solution staring us in the face will you go down a little bit kevin no no go on go on go on so i i believe
Starting point is 00:14:54 and keep going what i've seen in terms of the costs that this will be attributed toward is that partially here we go here we go um so uh we're in compliance with the law i mean we need to pay for legal consulting purchasing insurance i guess for the uh file uh marketing materials submission fees to film festivals festival travel they should just hire legal zoom i feel like even hiring could have handled all of this yeah hiring a publicist uh yeah so can we have that they look and for you in particular this movie needs a publicist but the movie disenchanted doesn't need one right you're fucking the guy you do it is for disenchanted
Starting point is 00:15:51 yeah i mean you know bob chapek didn't uh sign a big enough bob paycheck for that so at this point it's like they're gonna get a publicist like well shouldn't we have that you got 11 000 extra bucks how much is for that i gotta i gotta say you want to go splitsies on it go halvesies well i didn't know i frankly i could i could use it yeah because i mean i just i booked you you can use it i don't have a publicist yeah you can use part of it we can use part of it it's all the same this enchanted you give some to this enchanted i mean we can do part of it it's all the same disenchanted you give some to disenchanted i mean we can do that that's the other thing right because chapek beautiful bob called me and said we're gonna we're gonna put you front and center in the press campaign by the way
Starting point is 00:16:34 you're happy to do this out of pocket right and i've just been i've been sending the emails i've been flying myself yeah right and it's like i could i could use i didn't realize these guys were rolling in it yeah and and i i was afraid of this you know there were two scenarios neither one good one is you were keeping it from me naughty naughty not the case no second possibly more villainous is that connor is keeping this from you along with patrick i patrick i patrick's the one i've i'm i'm sort of considering patrick scares me patrick patrick's scary i mean his unbridled confidence uh he's got that that billy mcfarland energy where he's so electric in the room you will follow him anywhere but then you start to
Starting point is 00:17:25 question wait a second do these things line up you know well you look at his post for this kickstarter it's no wonder they raised so much money with 12 days to go i mean he basically tells you right up top mo rock is in the fucking movie i'm serious. Mo Rocca's in the damn flick. And you know what? Mo Rocca, on day one, what he needs, Mo money. I will say this. They've been keeping a lot of this from me, I think, just out of plausible deniability. They didn't want me understanding the whole scam they were running here i did by chance
Starting point is 00:18:05 just happen to catch mo riders rocker morocco's rider all my friends have a mo rider uh okay you caught his rider yeah you caught i caught i caught mo riders rocker and uh it that that that thing is wild and i went this is a documentary this is just footage of you it's just wild there's no unpaid that was just the first name too yeah i mean i'm sure you got a peek at isaac mizrahi's isaac mizrider because it seems he has chimed in as well yeah no i i mean when i say when i say morocco's rider is wild what i mean is it it just it's one page it's a it's a full color drawing of the rainforest and it just says whatever the rain he wants it's just wild animals in the rainforest a jaguar's eyes lit between trees and says whatever mo wants wow yeah uh and and ms rahi's writer is written in blood it says ride or die it says ride or die yeah
Starting point is 00:19:16 and i don't know what do i have to die like i guess he has that right as soon as we there is that carve out he has that carve out in his contract that he is allowed to demand someone else's death if that would please him so we've got this is disturbing and so that's who's got the money doesn't it feel like a zero sum games yeah yeah no truly everyone but me it feels like is cashing out big on this thing and i frankly you know this disney movie i did it for for love and for art and whatever. I was really thinking this documentary was going to be my lottery ticket, you know? Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:19:54 One for them, one for you, right? Yeah. And this was the one for them. I was playing the game and everyone's talking about all the doc busters these days. These movies becoming doc busters you know a term that morgan spurlock of course created yeah and i thought this was going to be my my spurlock well we can talk about like other other sort of facets of this we got 11k sitting there with 12 days to go so that's one bucket so we put that over there. Sure. Sure. There's also Kevin has a big video project that he's filming in two weeks.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Oh, really, Kevin? Tell me about this. So. Sure. Well. Go ahead, Hayes. I just want to say all we know about it right now. Sure.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Go ahead. Go ahead, Hayes. All we know is that it's Kevin's big video project. We have not asked any questions about it as far as i know the sean have you like kevin has been talking about this for a little while i don't think we have asked a single question about what i have not shown a speck of curiosity about this it has been promoted to me via kevin texts which assume an amount of knowledge on my part, which does not exist. Just an update.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Yes. That's what I say. Updates about the big video project, which is only referred to that way. I have no other details and I've made zero effort to obtain any. And he's going to put the first part. So that's just some indication of how big it is. He's going to put. Very big. Part one. It's two big video is. This is very big. Part one.
Starting point is 00:21:25 It's two big video projects. On YouTube, is that right? YouTube for free. So YouTube is the distribution partner for the first part. And then the second part. Anyone can get a little taste of this big video project. It's going to be on Kevin Bartel Vivo. Part two is coming. Part two is going to be on kevin bartell vivo and so part two is part two is gonna be on the patreon
Starting point is 00:21:47 feed which kevin also just announced was happening did not ask permission to do that which i appreciate by the way i don't want to like i don't want to be in the position to have to say no to part two of the big video project i've been hanging out with patrick a lot i've been hanging out with patrick a lot and he says bad influence influence. Don't, don't, he says, don't ask for forgiveness, not for permission. Yeah. Patrick's all about like
Starting point is 00:22:13 hammering the stakes into the ground. Yeah. Yeah. He's also all about using stakes to hammer other people to a cross. That's sort of his process as a producer is making other people atone for his sins kevin can i ask is this part of a sort of larger uh
Starting point is 00:22:31 pivot to video is this sort of a paradigm shift for you or do you view this as like a one-off project i know it's a two-parter but we'll see we'll see how it goes if if it uh blows then i'll say it was a one-off and it was all these planned to be a one-off if the people say it's one of the best damn videos i ever see in my life i smell hey baby i got nothing but time it's actually the first chapter of a trilogy yeah i always saw it as a trilogy he'll say yeah and this is finally now i can reveal yeah kevin saying that he has nothing but time is actually i guess a little bit of what we want to discuss here kevin is concerning for me kevin has made a full-time camera uh and i guess like we're trying to figure out an incentive structure for him like if we if if we were reward this kind of like self-directed energy and initiative that he's taking uh with a bonus
Starting point is 00:23:49 of some kind maybe eleven thousand dollars i don't want to be you know but there's a lot of people involved a lot of mouths to feed with this big video project griff yeah you know i will i will say i'm noticed that that kevin is looking more more resplendent than I've ever seen him. Kevin looks insanely hot. Yes. Let's just talk about it. But he's also covered in baubles and jewels. It's distracting.
Starting point is 00:24:15 More than normal. He's truly glowing. You guys are asking me, hey, can you throw me the $11,000? Where's the $11,000? Why don't we have a piece of that? Well, I know, I mean, you guys are asking me, you know, hey, can you throw me the eleven thousand dollars? Where's the eleven thousand dollars? Why don't we have a piece of that? I know where it is. And I'm saying aside. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:30 While we discuss. Sure. Well, but Patrick's monitoring that bucket. And I wonder if there's a similar thing going on here with with Kevin, you know. Suddenly he's got all this money for this big video project. He's asking for more funding for the video project and meanwhile the haircuts are getting more frequent well i'm told that this this latest request is is just for the video project's finishing costs finishing what do you
Starting point is 00:24:57 mind can you what do you mind breaking down what uh those uh those what are the finishing money raised will go towards what what exactly hear finishing funds, I think of final mix on an edit, things like that. Color timing, things like that. Sometimes you see a Kickstarter advertising finishing funds for a movie that seems to be 100%
Starting point is 00:25:18 complete and then you read through the description and find out that instead it's for things like legal threes and hiring a publicist and yeah festival application festival travel to festival i'm buying your plane tickets to go attend the festival that i guess you got into uh things that no longer sound like finishing fees and more like uh self-promotional opportunities yeah yes i've seen this as well yeah anyway so kevin uh would you mind explaining what the finishing feeds are for this uh video project sure but first i'll say insurance i know
Starting point is 00:25:54 that was part of the kickstarter we read don't say insurance because i know that's you paying yourself ensuring you got fucking a 10 spot in your pocket. That's the only insurance I see. That's right. Ensuring daddy can run his little one made whole system. Yeah. Yeah. Ensuring the rosé never stops flowing at the Casa de la Bartlett. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Uh-huh. Bartlett being, of course, the Spanish pronunciation of Bartell. Yes. Of course. Yes. Yeah. I'd like to start with a little joke sure finishing is fun that is little it's tiny barely observable by the sizes are all of it though sizes a good size is subjective but we have a big pizza planned with all of the talent after the big wait I just want to make this very
Starting point is 00:26:50 clear you are planning you are planning a very big pizza yeah you didn't say planning a pizza party the plan is to get to get or to make we need to acquire a huge pizza I'm planning a huge pizza for the crew
Starting point is 00:27:09 and uh talent that's working on it i need a lot of my big pizza's expensive yeah that's true so but it is like i do think for scale it is actually responsible because like rather than getting a ton of little pizzas like each of those that cost is more expensive um than like a like a really big pizza at scale yeah because the outside of the crust is the most expensive part that's right so if you make a lot of little pizzas you have to keep on making that over and over again rather making them once but really really big whenever i see a little pizza i just gotta roll my eyes because i say look you give me a big pizza i'll make 50 of those you know it's just it's absurd it's absurd it's it's offensive it's insulting when i I find a menu with a personal pizza offering,
Starting point is 00:28:06 I cross it out. I take it very personal. Because they're implying that I wouldn't be able to craft a regular-sized adult pizza into a section small enough to enjoy in one sitting. Some people say... I've heard this said, pizza in the morning say it again though yeah pizza in the morning pizza in the evening pizza for supper time when pizza's on
Starting point is 00:28:31 a bagel you can have pizza anytime and i've always felt like well yeah you need to have pizza every time if they're that fucking tiny you're not gonna get your itch scratched if you're giving me tiny microscopic bagel pizzas yeah i'll have them every fucking hour on the hour times we basically go every minute of the day because the fucking pizza is so small still but it's sort of inaccurate you're fucking not off man you can have it anytime especially given like the cost per unit it should say like when when pizza's 50 feet in diameter you can have pizza anytime like that's accurate because i think they're only maybe eight per box and then it says like serving size half a box and so it's like are you telling me to have one an hour are you telling me
Starting point is 00:29:16 to by the way am i supposed to eat the box as well that's the only thing that's gonna get me full that's the thing if you don't eat the box my friend you're gonna have a lot of free space in that tummy serving size is half a box kevin how many people who's involved in this project just so we know like how big a pizza is is being is being planned here what kind of talents we have attached four four people i said what people are involved in this project and we want names your response is four people we want fucking unless there's a fantastic four that's not a satisfying answer my friends harry and sarah darius is gonna make his debut um my friend harry and sarah i've never Oh just you wait sweetie They're gonna change this damn town Okay In what capacity are they working on
Starting point is 00:30:11 The project Yeah what's their role Um I don't want to spoil things They're kind of the stars So they're on camera They're on camera They're talent Who's below the line on this thing
Starting point is 00:30:26 um i we don't really have a below the line everyone's kind of above the line i guess i'm below so you don't have a line what you actually don't have is a line there is no line line there gonna be a lot of that is this one of these like fucking like joe swanberg movies where at the end the director by credit is 18 people because he's like kevin's been calling it as a director kevin's been calling it a joe duckberg movie i'm trying to get ben to actually help me with it blank chuck producer ben i texted him yesterday he is a producer yeah i thought you were saying ben schwartz because hayes brought up duck bird and i know that he's involved with duck tales he actually grew up on
Starting point is 00:31:10 that and so i was thinking oh okay maybe he's got some other duck tales people coming in for this joe duckberg production also if you could get schwartz attached this thing is gonna have a lot of heat around town you know you think griffin would be here if he could get like yeah just like a like a portion of a tweet from ben schwartz saying that he that he saw this movie and it was so fucking funny i'm not even allowed to tweet my own shit anymore i can't tweet myself i would i would kill for a short tweet die for that couldn't get tagged anymore but no couldn't couldn't couldn't get tagged uh tag a dead account no link uh i mean you know i mean yeah no no the just the irony is that you know his handles rejected jokes but
Starting point is 00:31:52 it's more like accepted films because if you want to get into a festival i mean one tweet from that account is basically it's going to be like con it's also the thing about the south by the thing about schwarzy is he really is the tell your ride of our time in many ways and he's so selective about the work he does and when he chooses to speak publicly he's so private that anything he says or does carry so much weight because you're like wow he really has to feel strongly about this if he got off the couch for this one. Kevin. Sonic. And so Kevin is demonstrating a little bit of his film knowledge here.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Sure. Which is actually like, it's making me feel a little more confident in this production. I'm kind of the human IMDB. He's done his research. Okay, so you have Harry and Sarah on camera. Yeah. There's and Sarah on camera. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:46 There's a vehicle on camera. Darius is one of my best friends. He's going to have a role in it, and my friend Christian has a role in it. Possibly, I haven't asked him yet, but hopefully he says yes, because we're filming a little bit of it at Forever Dog Studios. Brett Boehm, I want to see if he can.
Starting point is 00:33:06 I have a little page for him. Make a little cameo. You said pending offer to producer Ben Hosley. He's got a pending offer. He's got two texts in his phone right now, and praying he sees those. Yeah, you should go through reps. He doesn't usually respond. Yeah, you're going to want to go through our official doesn't usually respond yeah yeah you're gonna want to go
Starting point is 00:33:25 you're gonna want to go to the official channel the proper channels exactly yeah you want to go it just feels like this protocol yeah and kevin you'll learn this you'll learn this kevin but even when you're working with friends when you're in the big time you got to go through the proper channels of course you could always just text and say hey are you free do you want to do me a favor but it's so much better if it's a straight offer saying i think we spoiled a little bit kevin because we've been letting you schedule the podcast by texting us directly but you you really sometimes not all the time you are yeah not usually yeah but but we we've never we've never made it as big an issue
Starting point is 00:34:03 as it should be and i I think maybe I take responsibility for some of your bad habits at this point. This might be a good moment to change that, actually. This might be a moment to set the new protocol of if you want to schedule an episode. Why don't you call the UTA switchboard when you want to find out if I'm available for a Griffin Pro version, et cetera?
Starting point is 00:34:24 Yeah, right. Pizza, big ass pizza. That's one of the things. I'm getting in a little bit of hot water because I have 25 pages and I'm only halfway done. And so people are like, that's a lot of script. I don't know if I want to do that. 25 pages of what? The more you describe this, the less understanding I have over what it is.
Starting point is 00:34:47 25 pages of me pouring my heart out dang it so 25 pages of that it's mostly me fortunately um and so i said guys relax it what fortunately for who for for my fellow cast members so they don't have to memorize 25 pages of script. So I said, dang. Yeah, it sounds like they're going to love just watching you act. Mm-hmm. I said, guys, don't worry. This is mostly me.
Starting point is 00:35:14 And I could tell they weren't happy, so I caved and said, what if we all go to Disneyland after we film? So I promised. Right, so it's part of the finishing. Just a 2 a.m. trip to Disneyland. Belly full of whatever fucked up pizza you concoct. Watching you monologue and nothingness for half the day.
Starting point is 00:35:36 What a fucking dream job for Sari and Hera. So. So big pizza like five tickets to disney flash passes what do you think we can get to subscription wise like like what what what do you think is like a fair incentive for you for you for the certain for a certain number of subscribers from releasing this yes i would say one number five five new subscribers they subscribe 500 but 500 while you well let's be fair kevin you said i'm gonna say one number you said five and then you i didn't finish sorry i think there was a Zoom delay on my end. We're at $6,255 right now. What if we made it to $6,500?
Starting point is 00:36:32 A clean $6,500. I love that. $6,500 by when? When is this coming out? This is probably going to come out December 19th, so maybe New Year's Eve? December 19th.cember 19th so maybe new year's eve december 19th that's december 19th that that time of year is popping for new content releases i've never i've never done something like this before and the advice i've been getting is buddy you're gonna be in the editing bay for a
Starting point is 00:37:00 damn long time so we're filming it decemberst. I figure I'd give myself three weeks to, like two and a half weeks to get in the lab, cut this shit together. Okay. I got some bad news for you, buddy. Oh, no. Something else coming out that day? Don't tell me that the finishing funds
Starting point is 00:37:20 for the George Lucas documentary will be ready. I believe Kevin has put himself directly up against the release of Avatar The Way of Water. Kevin. Oh no. And that thing's going to be a fucking buzzsaw man.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Get a calendar dude. And thematically they're swimming on the hurt whale. It comes out on a Monday? Big Jim does whatever the fuck he wants. He'll come out when he wants to come out. Beautiful bot, please. Don't mix it up.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Okay, well, maybe it could come out a different day. I got a pitch for you guys. I got a little pitch, quickly, because you guys were talking about I feel like we've been dancing around a lot of similar topics here, right? Pitch me, daddy.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Kevin's allocation of money, Patrick's allocation of money, this Kickstarter slush fund, all these sorts of things. And sort of the difference between your paid subscribers and your main feed free wheelers and all of this. your main feed, free wheelers, and all of this. And it sounds like your paid subscribers, it's not that they have more money, it's that they're more discerning with their money. It's sort of ethical, responsible people paying to go green or eat vegan, which isn't going to save you money,
Starting point is 00:38:43 but it's going to pay back in terms of lifespan you know and what you give back to the world and all of this right i could do a quick metaphor for it it's as if the paid subscriber people behind the paywall are taking a post-quital shower well because so when they go to urinate the following exactly okay yes no Yeah. No. Same. You don't want your dick spraying all over the place. But I think the thing to do here and we... Well, sure. I guess do whatever makes you happy. If we can kill a couple birds... We need to stop Kevin from
Starting point is 00:39:17 releasing this thing, right? If we can stop him from making it in the first place all the better. We've been working on this for so long. You guys need more subscribers. this is all part of the negotiating process like he knows exactly what he's doing no we got we got to stop this from happening um i saw an incredible new patreon tier i was i was scanning other pages on the tron and i saw a new incentive a new tier that i thought was so smart and i think you guys could institute this and it would it would blow up huge for you get a lot of new subscribers paying a lot more money per
Starting point is 00:39:49 uh this is a podcast i saw recently added a fifteen thousand dollar tier and the reward is be a guest on the show now what I think is smart about this is it's really going to improve the quality of the show. Some people might think this sounds like a craven, take advantage of our listeners, milk them for all they got, while the getting's good kind of thing. But I think who is going to make for a better
Starting point is 00:40:18 guest than the person who has $15,000 to waste on a podcast appearance? And any of our guests had $15,000 to waste on a podcast appearance. And so any of our guests had $15,000 to rub together. Yeah. The show, I mean, the ease with which they would guest on the show, you know, the comfort they would have would allow comedy to really be foregrounded in a way that it never is. They'd probably be your funniest listeners, I'd imagine. And it's restorative. It feeds back into it. You're letting the funniest
Starting point is 00:40:45 listeners pay the most money to make the show funnier which in turn gets people loving the show more paying more money and and stops Kevin's film from from going up against Avatar at the box office I can see this working out the tears on your feed the guest appears on your show bucket can stay pat's bucket can stay where over there where it is he's sort of hovering over it still yeah guarding is squatting over it money goes to kevin yes uh the The file goes, downloaded on a hard drive, deleted from Kevin's laptop. Hard drive goes into a toilet in jail. Yeah. It's a straight buyout we're looking at here, Kevin.
Starting point is 00:41:43 We're looking at a straight buyout. Let's drop it in the jail toilet we're gonna jail toilet your movie can i can i have can i do one heard of being in movie jail and this goes out and this goes we we take the paywall off this and we take the paywall off this gray wall comes off this episode paywall comes off this episode and this is comes off this episode. And this is going away in five, four, three, two. I'll do it. Thank you. Great. Great.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Sounds good. Bye. Five second clown down clock always works. Hollywood Handbook. That was a Hate Gum podcast.

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