Hollywood Handbook - The Pro Version 292 and 297: HYPOCRISY EXPOSED and SUPPORTING A FRIEND

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

Enjoy these un-paywalled Pro Versions and free feed of Hollywood Masterclass.The Boys watch a shocking video and welcome back Engineer Devon to help him through a tough time. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. are one of our two of our two of our favorite pro versions from this year the guys and i chatted about it some people on discord sent some suggestions as well and we got two amazing episodes that we're gonna release right now and then next week we are unpaywalling one of the best episodes of hollywood masterclass but they're all the best. Also, in case you missed it, we made a free feed for Hollywood Masterclass, and it has all three seasons on there. A link for that is in the description. Also, also, just because some people have asked, we're still going to be releasing some new pro versions and the flagrant ones on the Patreon for the next two weeks. So enjoy these two episodes and happy holidays

i'm gonna crack this g fuel bust the g fuel open it's important that you get fueled up um crack this crash bandicoot wumpa fruit flavor jeep you'll been eyeballing this in the fridge for going on two weeks now let's check the date on this mother get a big eye full of the date i got a whole year okay so you can really take small sips on it tiny sips because you can actually actually drink this for 365 full days and never oh yeah oh that's one but fruit oh i'm getting ready to get in that ass of dr neocortex you see the adaptogenic mushroom cola by dram i was drinking yesterday have you had that i'm really focused on Wumpa Fruit flavored G Fuel right now. I had never had it. Dr. Neocortex has kidnapped my sister Coco.

Kevin, throw a- And Aku Aku. Throw a picture of the mushroom cola up at some point so people can see it too, because we both have had some interesting drinks. Dr. Neocortex, I will come. And it's- I am coming for you, bitch. And that was really something special. Dram, dram.

Yeah, there we go. There we go, right up top. Put me in the cortex vortex. Dram apothecary. Put you in the cortex vortex. You bitch. I was having this yesterday. Looks good.

Does it taste like a big mushroom? Took me on a journey. Yeah. Guess how many calories uh i'm gonna say grams of sugar i'm gonna say two zero i don't know how they do it because it does have a little bit of a cola taste now i didn't pay 25 for it like this website says the 12 pack uh 25 for a 12 although it doesn't seem out of reach with this stuff yeah i did pay two dollars 225 or something easy easy well i need

to have a special drink sometimes oh yeah i can't handle the the fucking g fuel i can't have i can't have one but fruit look at that even the warning labels are warped by the content inside yeah they've been struggling to be freed just like crash from dr neocortex's experiment well i you know i do want to talk a little bit about actually struggle and a desire for freedom and a desire for expression, which, of course, Crash Bandicoot is fighting for within the context of the game. I want to talk about this town, what it does to people. That's the purpose of the show and i want to talk about also we try to get personal um we try to be raw uh i'm feeling really vulnerable today because some of the things we battle against have invited themselves into my own home we talk about hypocrisy we talk about

fakeness we talk about people that are just like out there putting on this like big performance for everybody and it's like number one you like the shit you're doing sucks that's first number two no one wants to hear any of this bullshit number three shut the fuck up like get out of my face like stop yes and number four we talk about hypocrisy get out of my fucking face yeah shut up yeah you know because the shit you're doing sucks Shut up. Yeah. You know, because the shit you're doing sucks. Over with this.

Yeah. Later for that. Night, night. Later for that. And when I say later, you go, well, when? In like an hour? I mean, no. After I am dead and gone. Later for that.

When I have died in 2026. And you say, okay, well, you've done it for seven or eight teasers, but when are you going to turn this, turn it around and actually focus on what's going on in your own home? Okay, well, that's what we're talking about today with not my home, but someone else's.

Yes, we've gone into teasers. We've said what works. We've said what doesn't work. And obviously, we're putting judgment on other people's homes and their side of the street and it's time to time to take a good long look in the mirror trying to turn the you know the self-facing camera lens uh on and um and go selfie mode and talk about what's happening in my own home so the other day i'm in the car with my child he says what's that i'm driving by the way i'm driving what's that well unless you're talking about the road i don't know it's just you in the car it's it's me it's-hmm. It's him. Mm-hmm.

My wife is there. Okay. A lot of help she is. Yeah. It's like you say something, like I'm driving the car. What's that? The road. It's on me. The posted traffic signs that allow me to stay safe here.

Is that what you mean? No, that. The different warning lights that I need to stay safe here is that what you mean no that the different warning lights that i need to be accounting for keeping in balance at all times the colors the the words you know what i mean the other cars it's like it's crazy when you think about it what we do when we get behind that wheel the amount of things you're not playing a video game haze this is real life okay the number of things you have to keep track of cars the warning lights you referenced the indicators inside the cockpit there's no hitting pause to go have a go have a snack no we don't regenerate. There's no eating peanut butter pizza roll. Uh-uh.

No, no. There's no opening some crate and there's a grenade inside or something that you get to pack away for later. Mommy, did they come inside and have peanut butter pizza roll? You play video games outside in your house? Mm-mm. You have the whole rig set up outside. No.

Mommy doesn't want you to play that inside. There's no two liter soda bottle right so we we kind of get through the other side of that uh you know luckily there was a stoplight and i said and i finally did talk to my wife you know and i did and i did sort of reclaim my man card and i said you tell me if that light changes. I'm going to deal with what's happening in the backseat. You turn all the way around. Yes.

Yes. What's what? What is what? And he's pointing at an advertisement, of course. The commercialization of our culture, the producting of everything. He's facing forward now. He's facing diagonal. Okay. That sounds like a good compromise.

Oh, he's just off, you know? At some point, they're supposed to face forward, I guess, but I'm about to sunder. No, I just like... Yeah, we got about to say turn it back around. No, it's all... Don't be looking at me. Some point of rotation. Yeah, don't about to say turn it back around. No, it's all some point of rotation. Yeah, don't look right at me. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't want you to see me driving.

I'm not always watching the road. So he's pointing at this poster or whatever that says there's a museum exhibit. Artist named Keith Haring. museum exhibit artist named keith herring i go like a like it sounds like a little fish like a stinky fishy to me yeah something fishy about this guy i take this of course as an opportunity to go chief keith dad mode and teach a little lesson well keith herring's a famous artist there's a museum the brode what are you two looking at what are you guys what's so interesting what are you watching i'm watching the monitors because i'm making a edit of the show what's we need two people

on the monitor i watch casey watch the monitor the show is here you actually have a like a front row seat yeah everyone else has to watch the monitors you're one of the only people who's ever gonna actually witness people pay ten dollars to to pretend things the monitors can't capture happening in here and when i look to you guys what i need is not when i look back at my son i want him diagonal when i look at you i actually want you straight on so i know that i'm safe i can't we've had engineers in the past we've been burned before okay we've been a little hurt when they're staring at a screen like that the chive is up the lad bible they're chiving on they're not keeping calm they're actually keeping pretty out of control

so this is gonna unplug fuck man that's happening right now yeah definitely right now look at all those cameras now i see what they like about it yeah now i see what all the fuss is about. All the different angles. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. Well, don't... I don't want to deal with you dealing with this. In case he broke it. Don't break it. So he's like...

And now he's suddenly obsessed with the Keith Haring Museum. And he wants to know what that... What it is. Well, he's asking me about the museum. And I go... And I say... And I go, dad mode. mode i say this is a famous artist uh he actually has a particular style and and of course my son has done art i encourage the

arts you know even if he's not as good as me he's still allowed to try and i said he has this particular style that actually some of your stuff reminds me of because you fill the paper with these shapes. And I have an example, and this is not as good as Keith. I know it's not as good as Keith, but I'm trying to make him feel. And I say, you'll fill the paper up with all these shapes. And I say, he does that sometimes. He draws these sort of rudimentary people and animals.

And then he also, I said, he'll fill it up with squiggles where it almost looks like a, you know, like a staircase filling the page. And then my son says this to me, I swear to you. Have you ever even seen stairs? I say, yes. He says, they don't look like squiggles. I go, no.

Okay. Sometimes he does squiggles. Sometimes he does these kind of diagonal. It's like a step. What the fuck? Looks like step. I go, I've seen stairs. And then I say this, and I was proud of this because i came up with it in a moment i go i've actually seen way more stairs than you have he says no he gets mad he says no you haven't

i say i grew up in a house with stairs real quiet for a minute no you didn't at this point i can't talk to him anymore he's not engaging with the museum idea or any of the things i'm teaching at all he just wants to have a pissing contest over who's seen more stairs and and i you know i don't even it's so easy to win at that point i go never mind let's just go to let's just go to where we're going which is a place where you learn letters and numbers which i know all of and you don't what is this like the stairs doesn't No G from J. Like, it's like, does not know this shit. Doesn't know. And does he think he really knows?

I mean, I don't really want to get into this aspect of it, but I had seen him. Cannot get it. Attempt to like handle stairs and like, yeah, he can go by them like up and down the by himself now, but it's not a hundred percent.

No, like certainly not very fast unless he's like going all fours when i do stairs no one no one is offering me their hand yeah and i'm not asking for their hand can't say the same of my friend you're refusing their hand yeah but if they offer i'm good i'm good i'm gonna do i've got both hands on the railing myself i need both hands on the railing actually myself you say yeah can't got both hands on the railing. I need both hands on the railing, actually. I can do it myself, you say. Yeah. Can't risk pulling one off the railing.

Thank you. So. 50% of my daily vitamin C in this. Bitch. You mean I can. Drink two. Escort two of these to pound town? Mm-hmm.

600 milligrams of caffeine? 100% of my daily vitamin C? grams of caffeine a hundred percent of my daily vitamin c well anyway you think you probably think as i did at this point well this story's over the next day i'm working i'm in my office i'm working trying to make money uh-huh you know yeah to feed and clothe my family yeah mostly clothe and how do i do it just financially yeah right uh-huh i go what is this shit gonna be what the fuck i'm working i open the door dude's there fires it no like hey how you doing am i interrupting says to me don't bother me yeah dad don't come bother me right now i'm doing work i need to do a famous art for the museum okay and

you say all right i need oh so you were listening you did hear what i said right and your first instinct is in that situation and anytime you enter into a conflict like this i agree with the instinct we need we need him we need a record of this yes i start recording and i know if i let him know that i'm recording, he'll clam up. He doesn't want this. He doesn't want this. But he is outside. He is in public space. He's in a public space.

It's entirely legal for me to protect myself by gathering evidence. Now you'll notice that the camera, the video quality gets very bad at a certain point during this. It did start focusing on the screen instead of the human being. I could not, of course, move outside the door or do anything to adjust the camera angle because he would have

realized he was being recorded and he would have changed his tune it's the sick stuff he's saying he knows it's that's what's so fucked up to me he knows it's wrong he wouldn't want it on camera but when it's just me and him he's willing to just spout off all day so i start recording that's the backstory and and i think we can see a little bit of like what this psycho is laying down is it like a new one it's a new one so i have to pay the people with to the show then if i can be in the museum or not so we need to make a famous artist like do a famous art stop it stop it first it's like this is like a payola thing right like five seconds in i'm just like what the fuck is this motherfucker on like what is he on no what's happened like what's happening just like from the beginning

okay so your number one thing is you have you don't even have art yet no no first it's like what's the financial situation there's no art and he's it's like he's paying for wall space or something i have to make a famous artist it's so i have to do art people love and it's like he's paying for wall space or something i have to make a famous artist it's so and it's like what the fuck do you mean and then he does walk it back and say like i have to make a famous art but is this not this city haze where it's cart before the horse all the time it's i need to craft this identity for myself as a famous artist not i need to improve my craft yes to the point where people start to have a visceral response to the work that i put out yes i need to create this famous artist who everyone loves yes and it's and it's bullshit and notice that it's always famous art

always famous not good art never it never even what if it's just art what if it were just that have you heard of the term art for art's sake what if art's not a competition no no no i don't know what if it's not you know famous art what if we remove which by the way you just heard about this yesterday oh you just found out daddy just told you about this yesterday bro oh yeah but yes the tone is so condescending. I am the one who introduced the idea to you. What if we remove? And I didn't say up with this.

I did not say he's a rich artist. I said, this isn't, you know, there's a popular, there's a famous artist. The style reminds me of yours. I'm being very generous.

And all of a sudden it's like, he's going to teach me about famous art. No, no, no, no. He's going to tell you not to bother him stay stay over here the only as far as he i was in here the only like the like the person who who told you about this shit in the first place oh now you don't want to be bothered yeah i'm so sorry i bothered you

yesterday when i fucking taught you everything you know about what has now become your life's mission apparently and if we removed money and fame i'm pretty sure you'd lose interest very fast which by the way he did i didn't even see the yard he works on after that but go ahead i was yeah i was even as i'm hearing this i'm like this this is this is an old one this he didn't even do this anymore this is what he used to do the new people are gonna be like so what are you doing right now you're just making art and then the art has to become famous so you could be in the museum yeah okay it's like just paying money why is it money i need to pay all the guards and stuff they're gonna be there and to like say okay we'll be here and the people are gonna make you know bad guys come in okay stop it

i don't know where he gets this like the like inside the fucking walled garden right of like art oh you know on the poster by the way on the Keith Haring poster, it says art is for everyone. That is literally what it says. That's the name of the exhibit that's up that he has been inspired by. And he goes, how about that? But what if we had a bunch of fucking jackboots? Yeah. What if we had a bunch of armed guards standing around saying, okay, we'll be like, you that's that's a big part of it for him oh what if we militarize the museum yeah and we uh we we have them all carrying fucking deadly

weapons and uh they decide you know who's allowed to see the art and who's a bad guy i don't know what he means when he's a bad guy and i don't want i did not press on that because i don't know how that reflects on me because he's saying bad guys he's saying he's gonna pay the guards the artist is paying the guards he's not the artist anymore you're now like this employer and this owner you're you're a landlord well i mean what it is is about the whole like financial operation like it has nothing to do once again there is no art no we've established that like the art's not there the art is you have a piece of the puzzle you have not created shit bro but we're already like we're going straight to for you number one is is guards it's like if i came up with ticket prices for the movie before i uh wrote a script uh which i'm not allowed to do right now by the way because people like this

um or who put the money first uh and you know we haven't shot a single frame of it but it's like how much should i charge for the tickets oh and who should be allowed to see it and who shouldn't and what should happen to people who aren't allowed to see it? Should they be physically punished by my little private army? I think so. Jesus. Play it. People, I need to make a famous R.

For the museum. Okay. Do you need anything from me right now? No, just wasting your time. okay but when i'm done you can talk to me and stuff oh great yeah yeah are you sure okay okay but then we turn pretty fast then can i just say stop it stop then fucking go right when i'm. No, no, he interrupted me. I know. I was working. And then it's like, when I'm done, you can talk to me.

Oh, thank you so much. I'm your dad. I taught you about this. You live in my fucking house. You're bothering me. Okay? But you're not going to forget about me. I can talk to you.

Oh, thank you so much. I can't share in the profits. By the way, that's not mentioned. And I'm also just like, okay, if there's this like big urgency around like you not being bothered then go fucking do whatever it is you need to do i felt the same way i said what are you still doing here well you hear me ask i go well do you need anything from me no all right all right what's he doing his hands like going into his pockets. Do you have an itch?

So then this is quick, but he says, you can talk to me afterwards. And then as a reassurance, he goes, and it'll be pretty quick. So like doing the art, no love, no care. No, like, I don't know how long it will take. I need to be inspired. Bang this out just knocking it out fucking making widgets at the widget factory yes tack it up on the wall roll in a bunch of tanks and big like barbed wire fences around it yeah stick it up there tape and a glue

stick and throw up whatever bullshit i came up with today who cares yeah and then fucking put a laser beam in front of the doorway just slice in half anybody who i don't like the look of forget it play it okay thanks for telling me all right yeah that's what i had to say all right i'm also starting a beautiful house too okay stop it this is so typical this is no one specializes slash producer slash director fucking famous artist slash beetle house architect yeah oh i'm also starting a beetle house okay sure first of all no you don't need anything from me don't bother you that's all you had to say is it all you had to say also here's a completely new conversation that i'm about to initiate again don't bother me uh-huh don't bother me and it's

such a like it's a it's a forced scarcity of resources right it's controlling the supply so that it's like oh well would i be allowed to participate in the beetle house? Could I get in on this? Like, you know, that's what he wants. I'm not going to give it to him, but it's so clear that it's like, oh, shit. He can't ask. The museum thing is sailed, but I also might start a beetle house. Would you want in on the ground? I actually think he wants you to ask so he can say no.

Right. And like effectively like have a guard shoot you, kill you. At some point, someone has to fund the beetle. Like this is what I've learned. Oh, yeah, sure. Because he doesn't have, in his opinion, enough containers. Play it. I don't know if I would do this, but I don't know if i would do this but i don't know if i could or maybe do like

like something i could not do okay so can you pause it can you bring this to me when it's a little more built out like if at all like once again like you say you don't want to be bothered i think i'd rather hear about this would you actually know what the fuck you're gonna do right it's like because it honestly sounds like you he's standing so far away it's like you're trying to leave yeah but like then just leave i don't know i mean yeah. And keep going because there's something else fucked up that happens as he's transitioned. I'll tell you. Yeah.

To a new topic. Okay. Something scary. Mm-hmm. Like in front of the building. And then when you're, there's just like regular people going in. The monsters will,

they'll move. The scary stuff will move. But when there's bad guys, maybe the scary stuff could scare them away. Oh, that's smart. Did we learn nothing? I don't know if I've learned that, but maybe. Alright. Hang on. It could be like

seeing a big monster or a ghost or something. To scare them away from the Beatles? Or the art? Scare them away from the art. Pause it. Okay. Okay.

Like, so I'm an asshole? Like, you brought up the Beatle House. He says, I might start a Beatle House. Okay, cool. Then he's like, I don't know if I'm going to do this or not. We were on Beatle House. I don't know if I'm going to do this or not, but maybe there could be something scary to stop them from coming inside. bad guys again we're back to the bad guys well and then he says

so regular people can go in okay regular people yeah i think i know what i think i know yeah i wonder if the regular people look a lot like you so there's like there's that issue and then and then we've somehow switched off of beetle house back to art and i'm supposed to know that i'm a fucking asshole right because i said like sorry the scary stuff is protecting the beetles i there were guards for the art already people going in and i was like i thought we were talking about beetle house but basically he says yeah i'm like people go to the beetle house but i'm like maybe it's a beetle you know a display of the beetle house, but I'm like, maybe it's a beetle, you know, a display of the beetle house. But then it's like what I'm realizing too is he's worried about having to pay the guards. He first brought up needing money to pay the guards and he's going, can I somehow essentially use AI? and having to deal with employees,

can I just make something scary like a monster or a ghost? Now I don't need a guard. Back and forth. So we're using it. It seems like facial surveillance. We're using an algorithm that will determine whether the monster or ghost slides into place. I'm sure that filter won't have any problematic biases, the one that's deciding who's a bad guy.

Oh, no, it's totally objective. Yeah. And then play it because it gets you. Yeah. Like, there could be a monster theme, but the monster needs wheels. Okay, stop it. The monster needs wheels.

Okay, I was going to say, like, what is he saying? There could be monster things. First, he said monster or ghost. Now, I guess we're settled be monster things first he's at monster or ghost now i guess we're settled on monster decisions been made congratulations there could be monster things but the monster would need wheels and he's pointing at his feet those aren't wheels i mean i guess that's where they'd be i guess they would be in that like general i mean if it's like a humanoid monster like they would be in that direction but just like number one why are you still fucking talking to me about this yeah like you said minutes ago now that you were gonna leave the whole premise of the conversation

is that you don't want to be bothered and drawing me in further and further you do yes you need because he's desperate for me to validate these ideas that are completely half-baked, completely, you know, just under-considered. And so, like, now the monster will need wheels. And this is the only thing I will say, having watched this, he does provide a physical approximation of what it will look like when the wheels are activated on the monster. Yeah. And I think he may be on to something. Okay, let me see. People come, it will move to the side so people can go in.

He does, yeah. But when there's a bad guy, it will keep close. And they kind of move their teeth and pretend to eat the bad guy. Okay, pause it. So I do like the way that the monster sort of spreads its arms out and like shuffles to the side. And then when the bad guys come

who aren't allowed in, which I don't know that we should even have that technology, that they keep closed and he sort of closes his hands in prayer hands. Then a new element is added. We've lost the armed guards. The teeth could move and pretend to eat the bad guys. Well, for whose benefit?

For whose benefit? Who's seeing, who is witnessing this? If the bad guys are not actually getting eaten, I don't believe it's deterrent. Is it just for me right the general public to stay afraid oh i better not do anything like what the bad guys are doing right because then that'll be me and it's just our culture's like insatiable demand that others be punished so we can feel validated if we see someone else pretend to get eaten by the monster like that that puts us we just need an example of like someone

who has is is beneath us in that way right oh the monster slid out for me and does it not feel like he's hedging a little bit by going like and the teeth will move and then and there's this microscopic pause gonna do this microscopic pause like you're not he goes pretend to eat the bad guys it's like yeah you were going to say it'll eat the bad guys you were going to say that yes and then you just shift to uh and it'll be pretend don't worry like once all the money is spent or whatever it's like okay we couldn't actually figure out how to make it pretend, so we're just going to go ahead and have it eat the bad guys. Go back to sleep, America. Okay, finish the video.

That's good. Yeah. I don't know if I'll do that or not, but I'm pretty sure I need to go back. And he's gone. He just runs off. I don't know if I'm going to do that or not. Not towards...

Not in any direction. We're just just like i know the layout back here what's over there i don't know it's certainly not certainly not an art that's not where you had when you're like actually trying to get something done no no and and i i will own you know i was sort of shocked throughout this exchange. I am complicit. You know, I do hear it and I'm saying that's a good idea. There's no judgment on like your reaction in this situation. What am I supposed to do?

What are you supposed to do? In that moment, like just engaging and being, I mean, you heard what happened with the stairs thing. Like he's so combative like i don't think i could have necessarily dissuaded him and it's like i don't know if i'm gonna do this or not it's like well i hope you don't i hope you don't it's i mean the only positive of this is this shit is never going to happen he is like he is not going to do one thing no like what it's like a day later now right haven't seen the no art has not come up again hasn't mentioned the museum no guard interviews have taken place there's nothing scary no monster or ghost i haven't even seen a wheel like loose in the house that could be applied and this is just like how we need to

genrefy all of our work now so it's just like okay what's the only fucking thing that's like making money that like let's do like these horror movies okay let's do a budget horror let's like do a whole fucking guillermo del toro exhibit at LACMA. Let's have Tim Burton travel around the country. Slap some wheels on those monsters in the fucking... Great art museum. Hands with eyes on it from Pan's Labyrinth, just on a wheel rolling around. God.

Unless you're a bad guy, then in that case, the fucking pretends to eat you. Yeah. I don't know. Hope the guards will clean up the drool. I got another one. he's got a little dice there maybe going through this exhibit it's gonna fucking suck except it'll never happen yeah it won't even happen bye

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Just turn it off hey everyone um a little bit of a special episode today um so this is it this is a comedy show of course like we uh we we have a lot of fun on the show but, but it's also a place where we have really come to build relationships with the people who we've worked with, both here at HeadGum, of course, and at Earwolf before that, all along this journey of almost 10 years that we've been on. And there are times when people in this community that we've built really need our support. And today is about that. There's someone who we really love who has been through something and needs us right now. uh, needs us right now.

Uh, and we've, he's here to talk about it today. Uh, what the experience was like, what the recovery has been like, uh, and, and I want to apologize.

I want to apologize because, um, I wanted to be there for our friend. And, uh, I wasn't strong enough i wasn't i wasn't strong enough to go and see be face to face with this kind of trauma and i feel like a coward and I feel weak and I'm ashamed. And yet I know what I needed for me.

I couldn't walk in. I drove to the building today and I put my hand on the door and I started shaking like quivering. And I just knew that physically I wasn't going to be there and when you have this strong of a connection to someone and a and a love for them their pain And I have to own the fact that it wasn't brave, but it was necessary. It is so brave of you to share that and to give yourself what you need in that way. And just to be totally honest, I have had to sort of disconnect from it. To do this, I have to kind of like shut it off for a little while. I don't even recognize you.

You are a cyborg right now wearing a haze suit. It is about getting through this to support the person. And I'll sort of lay out what happened. Someone had to. The person that, and I'll sort of lay out what happened. Engineer Devin at BaffleGabs on X put out, he released a post a few days ago, announcing, I guess confirming, that he had cut his head open on the sneeze guard of the grocery store hot bar. And he shared an image of the aftermath of Trigger warning if we're going to put the image up. I do want to say

if people are watching on video and we're going to show the image, which I understand why you would to fulfill the sort of responsibility of the audience and the narrative here, but I just want to say when I saw saw it it was very intense i dropped my phone in the toilet

and flushed a few times like kept hitting flush because i was i wanted the picture to go away and uh and i don't think that i'm completely out of line because i do for also people who are just on audio i do want to complete the the picture it's not just that he had a wound there's a little scratch or something he's bandaged up and he genuinely looks like fucking rimmer from red dwarf which is a comparison he made in the post no the post said it that's why i'm comfortable saying because i saw it and i went jesus christ is that fucking rimmer from red dwarf tell me that's not rimmer from red dwarf what is he doing on engineer devon's feed at baffle gabs on x and then i uh kind of like my brain wrapped itself around what i was seeing and of course it wasn't rimmer from red dwarf it was devin but he fucking looked like that and are we are we able to put up the post on the on the video feed because i think it's actually like it's important to see the post

great thank you uh and there it is i somehow managed to cut my forehead open on the sneeze guard at the grocery store hot bar now i look like fucking rimmer from red dwarf very smooth and there's of course that you're devon at baffle gabs on x on the left that's then that is him on the left yes yeah and i think if you see the image he's the one on the left it's important to see this because like even just that was september 19th and i want to hear more about like the was that the actual day or did you need a few days to put this post together and then today two days later september 21st we have engineer devin here uh as we can see the the the bandage is much smaller than the one that you were originally given given yes yes at the

grocery store okay so handed to me there that bandage well they had to protect their product i mean you were bleeding all over the food all over the yams and all over the salad bar chicken marcello okay so let let this is i really want to get into the details for other people that have had this experience yes or potentially like need to be aware of that this can actually happen to to anyone if this could happen to edgier david the the last person i would have i would have guessed i never thought it would happen to me yes you walk around thinking you're invincible and that you can just go and like get a cup of soup or something at the store and that you're never going to um cut your head on the sneeze guard and be left looking like fucking river red door

like you you literally the arrogance that i myself had to be because i've you know i've gone to the grocery store and gotten food i've been right next to the sneeze guard no helmet and um and just thought that i'm like entitled to not look like fucking rumor from red dwarf like that i that that's like just an inherent right. And when I see someone who I know is responsible, who I know is a little bit of an athlete. Right. And not prone to sort of physical mishaps. No.

Head on a swivel all the time. Mm hmm. Yeah. And maybe swiveled a little too hard right into the sneeze guard this time. And this is what we're finding out. And maybe swiveled a little too hard right into the sneeze guard this time. And this is what we're finding out. And in my head, I think just because of the phrasing,

and we haven't been able to sort of dissect this, and you called me to talk to me about it when it happened, and I hung up the phone because I was too upset. And I was just busy. But... And then I did, you know, I obviously felt guilty and I drove to the hospital and they said, of course, that you didn't go. I didn't even go, no. Yeah, but what I wanted...

You were treated on site. Field medicine. Medic! Medic! field medicine medic I know at one point they took out they took out the morphine to just have it just be Bayless just yeah to just ease your journey

so are you able to name the store i'll name the store okay yes yes yes it's uh it's a new natural market lazy acres that's the one wow yeah new lazy acres promoted around town that we're seeing promoted around town and promoted as safe yeah like it is one of their ready to open all the protections were in place wow it's on the outside yeah holy smoke well and who guards the sneeze guard that's like yes obviously the sneeze guard is guarding us against the sneeze but who will protect us from the guard itself it's a police state inside lazy acres where these sneeze guards are mad with power and just free to you know use extreme force against any of the customers and and it's like who endowed them with with this incredible uh amount of

authority but what i wanted to say is when i read it just in my head i think because of the name my first thought was that you were leading over and that you then sneezed so hard it jolted your jolted your head into the guard like like that because i thought that would make create a violent thrust of your head and in that sense like the sneeze guard was doing its job but i think also maybe misunderstood that all it has to do is keep the debris from your nose from reaching the food. It doesn't have to also subdue you physically. So you enter Lazy Acres. Is the plan to get lunch at Lazy Acres?

Absolutely. Okay. Hit up the hot bar. You go straight to the hot bar. This is your first visit? I actually tried go straight to the hot bar this is your first visit i actually tried to go to the juice and i've been thinking about this a lot there's a juice stand there with like big old immunity a green juice this sort of thing but there was a lady who was really taking her time looking at all that and i gosh and if you had only got the

immunity juice it would have been slightly later and things wouldn't have happened quite the same i keep every detail the physical protection of the jews you know i would have thousands of micro protect micro decisions that we make and just every it's sliding doors right it's got cayenne in it so i wouldn't have gotten cut the same way oh my god well that clots your blood up i mean even if you got the cut it would have immediately just healed up there's ginger in there too so so you instead you're redirected to the hot bar i'm walking around there's a couple people there and you know they're kind of getting their thing i'm kind of scoping it out seeing what they're mashed potatoes today okay you know and they've got they've got

the garlic chicken okay i think that's where I'm heading, the garlic chicken. So you do a full lap. Yeah. Can I just say what I hear in your voice a little bit as you tell this? And it's obviously, it's become a story for you, which I think is good. Like, it's no longer this thing you have to relive every time. That's right. But what I hear, there's some self-deprecating

tone but there's also a little bit of blame that you place on yourself even mentioning the juice that that it's like i know that it's somehow your fault and uh i want to say today from over here, I can't be there with you. I just wasn't strong enough. Not strong enough. I want to say. It's not your fault. Thank you.

Thank you. It's not your fault. No, that means a lot. Thank you. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Thank you. Thank you. It's not your fault. No, that means a lot. Thank you. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Thank you. Thank you.

Devin, it's not your fault. It's not your fault, Devin. Thank you. Well, tell the rest of the story. It might be your fault. It might be my fault. You were going to the garlic chip. Yeah.

Scoping it out. And then I see the lime broccoli. I'm like, that's step one. Whatever the protein is I'm getting, we're doing lime broccoli. So I'm over there at the corner. The lime broccoli is right on the edge of the sneeze guard. Got the little tub. I reach down to get the plastic lid for the tub.

Just because I want to have it because I'm going to go that way where they don't have it. I'm going to get the rest. Whatever. I bend down to get it. Stand up, slice my head open. That quick. In an instant. So it was an upward motion get it you put your head all the way underneath the plastic tops are under the sneeze guard so you

have to you can't even see where they are under there you kind of do crawl into the bar. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And then on your way back out, you're just sort of... I didn't realize how far out I'd have to go. The sneeze guard goes so far out that when you get a little bit under, you're sort of like, oh, I must be clear here. And I just wasn't. And let me say this. I had bonked my head on that same sneeze guard. On the way down?

Two weeks previous. Two weeks previous. On the way down two weeks previous two weeks previous on the way up again same same thing on that occasion it was just a light bonk on this occasion i stand up and i go oh that that hurt a little bit more than just a straight bonk but you know what that and i know what that feels like you had i know what a bonk you had already on the exact same sneeze guard in the same spot doing the same thing i had had bonks adventure and so i stand it is your fault i stand up so i kind of and i do want to just like i i can tell that bonks adventure is a reference to something wow and like i like i thought that would get some take up. And like, Rimmer from Red Dwarf. Yeah.

I'm just wondering if you're, I'm used to you referencing things like cultural things that like everyone really understands and like cool stuff. Yeah. You know what I mean? Bonk's Adventure was cool. You remember the TurboGrafx-16? I know.

I, I, I, I hate to, i don't want to sell out haze i vividly remember box okay that's good to know because i just want to make sure that like everything is okay not just things that never existed that is something real box revenge was good too the sequel and that is much more like what happened with the sneeze guard the second time Bonk's Revenge yeah that does sound right

and when I went to college there was a student there who I think didn't have a lot of experience with drinking and fell out of the top bunk twice and hit their head both times and then was behind their back referred to as bonk for

the rest of the year and box revenge uh um so uh i i wanna i do want to say that like hearing this yeah tale did inspire me you know um to do some research on lazy acres and just sort of who owned it and who had designed it because it felt like maybe something untoward was going on and uh it is in fact managed by a shell corporation that is actually the primary investor is Jigsaw from the Sawmill. So you think about where they place these lids and where the guard is. it starts to make a kind of and how quickly they brought the rimmer from red dwarf band-aid out like all of this is designed like none of this is an accident it was such a big band-aid

and that they've been able to watch your behavior and your greed and and deliver a punishment so specifically tailored so tailored to loving garlic chicken yeah the lime broccoli too they know that's my achilles can i ask i mean as we start to get into the liability conversation is this a is, is this a transparent sneeze guard? It is transparent. Okay. Yes. Now, I want to describe that there are two planes of the sneeze guard, right?

There's kind of the front-facing plane for this side, and then that side's got a plane, and there's a little gap between the two, right? At the edge of those gaps is where i sliced my head open and i'll tell you when i stood up and i touched the side of it i was like that's fucking sharp okay yeah that this is the one bit i will be angry okay people it was fucking sharp okay and here's a great detail after after they gave me the bandage they're sort of are you okay i'm like can i just is there i haven't been to their restroom is there a restroom around i can just go clean the blood off of my arms because i was covered in blood i it was felt like a bonk it bled so much it bled so much and i'm standing in a grocery store with their napkins on my head

asking for some assistance they send me to the bathroom i'm cleaning up a guy comes over he goes what the hell happened man and i notice he's in you know he's he works there and i go i stood up and i cut my head open on the sneeze guard at the hot bar and he kind of looks at me for a second he goes you know i believe you and i was like well yeah it happened and he goes no well look and he shows me he's got a giant scar on the side of his arm. He goes, that's from the sneeze guard when we were installing it. So this is why I'm comfortable calling out the name, because someone there knew that that was way too sharp. We cut one of our employees. Well, let's not fix it.

Surely won't be an issue again. No one wants the delicious lime broccoli at the hot bar. At the very least. Unbelievable. The sneeze guard needs to be heavily, heavily frosted. It really needs to be tinted, frosted. Frosted. It needs frosted tips.

It definitely does. Simultaneously, that'll accomplish two things at once increase the visibility of the of the sneeze guard absolutely and also reduce the attractiveness of the food underneath just make it a little less vivid so people aren't plunging the hang back there into the bar that's right to secure the lid because once you go past that sort of event horizon yes you are likely so you were planning ahead thinking i will be needing a lid for once i get to the other end of the bar and get my you know chicken potatoes whatever i was gonna go because rockfish the rockfish is good because you were gonna be taking this home, you did say, I noticed you said earlier,

I hadn't gone to the bathroom yet, implying that you were going to take your food into the bathroom. No, I just... Yeah. It's very strongly implied that your intention was... That it was to get all the food, go into the bathroom, chow down, All the food, go into the bathroom, chow down, come back out, and then just buy a drink or something because you feel guilty that you ate all their hot bar food in the bathroom.

And what I heard from your, like, you know, obviously this has gotten out in the world and we've seen different coverage of it. Yeah, a lot of pickup. And apparently a journalist spoke to an employee there where you had said that you were planning on dining in and they said, there are no seats. And you said, yes, there are. Devin, can I ask, just because I'm obviously not in the room with you right what i'm seeing is that i what i hope i'm seeing accurately is that you have an rem t-shirt under a blur sweatshirt that is correct that's right That's what's happening. Double 90s. Can I just say this is such a relief to me because I know initially the medical team on site

was worried that the location of the wound could have actually impacted the part of your brain loves sound and i and that was a you know an element of me being unable to walk in because i just thought what if mr sound loving man what if i don't even care anymore shows up and only like sound or i don't even want to talk about what else um but the fact that and i know your wardrobe is your wardrobe you wouldn't have had time to replace it but it feels like it was put on with attention especially the layers I almost worry that it's a performance this is someone who doesn't love sound

going through the motions but really needs to create the impression that he does all these bands yeah I love these bands love band music I should point out i should point out this is actually an are you talking rem re me shirt so it's not just it's like it's music but also podcasts but also podcasts it's the sounds of

talking about different kind of sound yeah no i still I still love it. It didn't get that part. What's the plan? Will we be returning? What do they have to do to win back your business? Or is it important to you to show that you can go to the grocery store again to have your lunch

and not get hurt. Yes. And go to the grocery store again to have your lunch and not get hurt yes and like and and go through the complete process from the hot bar right to the checkout you know to the bathroom exactly to the bus that has brought you there with the other people from where you live. I hope to be able to build up that confidence soon to go back in there. Because I can't lie. The hot bar is really good. It's really good. The good stuff at the hot bar.

The mac and cheese is solid and like i'm gonna have to try you really have studied yeah he knows every item i think that but it gets etched in your brain in a way right and that's trauma trauma like what we're talking about is trauma right now yeah oh yeah and the body keeps the score and according to devin's body the vertical scar he has one point yeah i think that's actually the hot bar marking their score yeah hot bar one engineer devin zero the shame of someone writing their score their winning score on your body when so what yeah i so my understanding is that uh lazy acres is committed to making change yes as a result of what happened, they will be changing their name to Vigilant Acres. And they stand in solidarity with Devin and all other victims of the sneeze cards.

I really thought it was beautiful what they put together you know there was a whole there was a march through the frozen food aisle and it was it was really powerful seeing the way that the community activated around this event because like 21 juicer salute it's easy to be cynical yes uh in this day and age and feel like everyone's you know in their bubble and no one's really worried but but when something happens especially to someone who had become something of a fixture at lazy acres memorizing the hot bar eating in the you know and kind of an unofficial mascot and to know that people didn't just turn their backs um but that they were actually so afraid of legal action that they did commission a song about you about you um and i like i want to say like i'm proud to be a part of um yeah you know this this city because it really was it was a whole like the culture of los ang Angeles and this current moment and all of it came into

play. Yeah. Uh, and, and, and I think, um, the,

the concept of California strong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was introduced. Emerge from this. And, and I think that they are,

um, going to put a little plaque up in the location that is now the Engineer Devin at Baffle Gabs on X Memorial Sneeze Guard. Which is pretty cool. Yeah. I mean, it's nice that so much, I guess you'd say beauty came out of it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

No pleasure without pain, yes? That's right. Red Hot Chili Peppers is saying about this a bit. Yeah. That motherfucker's always spiked with pain, isn't it? That's right. Music is my aeroplane. Just take me.

Take me up in the sky, music. Bring me to my destination. California. Cation. Engineer Devin, engineer devin where can we uh where can we find you at lazy acres at lazy acres okay okay okay i think they're accepting donations for their legal vote okay all right bye yeah For their legal vote. Bye. Yeah. Hollywood Handbook.