Hollywood Handbook - The Pro Version #304: JESSE DAVID FOX, OUR NEW BOOK FRIEND

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

On this un-paywalled Pro Version, The Boys talk to JESSE DAVID FOX about his post for promoting this episode. Check out his new book Comedy Book.Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. whatever we have a guess or whatever but I don't they can hear this I think I am gonna do what I was talking about doing last week and I am gonna start another bling ring I'm gonna do like a and actually do it for real this time

yes because it was so half assed and corny ass and i just think like for me as a as a 40 something year old man to really put both fucking feet and butt cheeks behind doing a full ass bling ring yes like hardcore smashing grabs and and get a ring of bling that is substantial with some of my cronies with some of my buddies you're not doing it for like one second and then going to the news and being like we so we we accidentally did we didn didn't mean to bad no doing it for a long time getting shot and killed by the police you know taunting them taunting them with a with a letter before that that they used to trace you this is the bling ring this is what's my name as the leader this is the bling master yes this is the bling master like by the time you read this letter i will already have gotten all of the bling for my ring

i will strike again um yeah so i'm just gonna do it but i mean i know we have a guest and everything i just wanted to say i'm setting my attention he needs time to promote it's like trust me you'll have plenty of time and more than you need what do you call yourself over there these days what's the deal yeah currently senior editor but uh i'm pushing to be called comedy critic currently senior editor currently senior editor pushing to be called comedy critic pushing to who like who even talks to you just call yourself that well i have been called that in the press so i so i was like well comedy critic yeah people are like vultures comedy critic jesse david fox which is my name but i and and so i was like they're already calling me this yeah that's my title. You want the David when you're just hanging out?

No. It's fine for this, that it's Jesse David Fox. And I know that's what you write under. Yeah, almost never. Because there's already a vulture writer named Jesse Fox. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what happened? Yeah. I need to distinguish from that person.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But when we're just hanging out, hopefully this podcast gets to a point where we're actually just kind of chilling, hanging out. Yeah. that's always my goal with the guests yes so like nice to start with that but if we need to sort of ease into it over the course of the episode that's we can work with that we'll work with whatever we'll honestly do whatever he writes for vulture blog under you know part of new york the magazine he is famous in this show which a lot of people don't realize that he was a part of our only truly failed episode that we ever did that we recorded in new york did a whole ass entire main feed episode with uh with jesse david and tom

sharpling right yes that was recorded by his associate producer dudio and then after the show jesse left and dudio was just like i'm sorry i just couldn't handle that guy's bullshit that's what happened that was the only episode deemed unreleasable based purely on content it's become the stuff of legend yes and i was like what did he tell you at the time that there was a technical issue yeah yeah he sent me the technical issue because this is what it sounds like you're just like yes i got you can't release that dude you did that because of all the bullshit yeah he was kind of everything you said he was going this motherfucker yeah this guy shouldn't be on the main feed yes and so we're here in the pro version in the same way as like look we do this dance now we like we get like let's just get into it

the book's called comedy book and book kevin gets in there he knows what to do hit control f search himself first okay whatever you need to do then search for the fellas we're obviously not in there it goes without saying well i didn't do no wait wait i didn't do i i skimmed the entire book i didn't do control f let me say this yeah i'm fucking burning through it right no no no no can't is there any way this could get to me no no no like nothing that could possibly connect oh here's a whole section on like comedy podcast is this nope not anywhere near it nothing then i do find the name of hayes davenport and hayes davenport is listed as a podcast host no mention of the name of the fucking show no mention that he co-hosts it with someone else

whose name is also not in there and i find myself thinking yes this bitch want to come on my show and it's come for and it's it's of course designed to drive a wedge between us when instead all of our animosity should be directed at at jesse david we're not putting the name of the show in there our show not being in the comedy podcast section now that's comedy now that that's actually got me now that's the funniest fucking book i've ever seen now that's a comedy book if i that's a real comedy book well my shows i mentioned the comedy podcast section oh wow that's really good comedy now by this book but he's dangling the second edition he's dangling the paperback just like i got a main feed to dangle oh that's yeah i got it

and so did you make some distinction like did some people get like a galleys of the book and then some people got what i did which was like a thrice forwarded pdf of some kind yeah well like the chain of box the chain of possession had to be established for legal reasons i believe kevin checked the thread where i goes kevin should i send them copies of the book and no response to that so it's so i said well here's a pdf just in case they want to look at it before kevin can't control i wish you had sent me he's tried believe me he's and i wish you had control after about everything he sees i wish he had sent it to me and i wish you had written a little like to sean here's your copy so that my name would end up in the fucking book somewhere

I could have the worst part is you guys were in it for like many drafts of the book and that's something I did have to ask about so who ended up chopping us out um the fat cats at Rand McNally

who's publishing this FSG and there's the comedy pocket. There's like this guy in the three letter acronym. Yeah. Yeah. I only want to see F with FSG FML everybody. So, so yeah,

they're like, what did it used to say? I was talking about the flagrant runs and how, yeah, they're like... What did it used to say? I was talking about the flagrant runs and how you have people making... writing and recording full music parodies for a show that they are paying for. And that was an example of how comedy fans these days feel like they are part of it.

Don't talk about that. Yeah, don't do that. Don't talk about that. Yeah. Don't do that. Don't remind them. See? We don't want them to be catching. That they're paying to hear themselves. Anyone to be catching on.

Yeah, yeah. The content they worked on. That's like not. I did it. So I took it out partly to protect you guys. Not what I'm proudest of. Okay. Well, I'm happy you took that out.

Sure would be a shame if I were to put your scheme in my comedy book. Mm-hmm. So now I'm being. So comedy book so now it goes to that's it and of course you never put hollywood handbook in here you're this is your officer gatekeep you're the original officer gatekeep it's got to be your little thing your special little thing has to be fucking sheriff the only vulture fest has to be the only festival we get invited to we get invited every four years like clockwork that's the olympics for us just when i'm gasping for it yeah today like many professional athletes will have three cracks at vulture fest in our career just like with the olympics you know and and i hope that we do stick the landing on the next

one because otherwise it'll all have been wasted haven't already done three i feel like you've done three already didn't you tune in oh we yeah we did one with alex blomberg we did one with uh tom tom and we did one with bosh bosh and the last one was was two years ago is that right? Yeah, I think so. I'm already getting a little. Yeah, it's about time. I'm getting that itch, man. Starting to think about what maybe in, I guess, two years what it will be. I'm starting to get that four-year itch.

When Jesse said that he was in town for Vulture Fest, and I learned that Vulture Fest was happening right here. As I'm trying to get ready to do the show, by the way, I find out that Vulture Fest was happening right here as I'm trying to get ready to show by the way I find out that Vulture Fest was happening when like tomorrow yeah it's in two days okay so not tomorrow yeah like tomorrow so no

in two days two days from now is a lot like tomorrow yeah especially because it's night time it starts in the morning if this were a year ago I could give a fuck I just did it last year yeah I don't want to do it again but now two years i'm like i don't need to do it but we move location so we want to make sure it's it's good before we invite y'all to it staying ahead of the sheriff this guy even talks like a book he's gone so book mode who's the funny who's the funniest person we moved locations

fucking book ass motherfucker that's exactly what you would write in a book about it who's the funniest person in the book um who who made you laugh the most in the book when you were writing about it and he doesn't even have to say i can't like okay i can read in his face all you have to do is ask and like you you can't really see as and obviously sean is even better at this than i am but like we don't we don't need an answer when we ask questions on this show or like if we're just hanging out with you sure sure we ask the question and then we're good you can chill we got the answer all over your fucking face doug you already told me man and out of courtesy to you i will not be sharing who you said because it will it would

it's very problematic it would not be good for sales let's put it that way no no no i'm like it's like john edwards crossing over up in this piece like i don't need you to actually tell me anything like i'm getting it all you're giving me everything i yes uh-huh i'm getting i'll tell you what i'm getting a c and a k now look i want to know what the post is going to look like when you write about coming on this podcast. Let me read you my favorite Instagram caption of the past week or so about someone appearing on a podcast. When writing the book, I would listen to long form a lot. Primarily, I was trying to learn things from the guests, but I'd be lying if it wasn't also out of secret-esque dream of being on one day. I am on this week's episode and it rules.

I'll be the judge of that. Also, if you are a journalist, please go see my watch story. Link in my stories. So a lot of things, look, a lot of things were done right. Some things could be done better. The watch story thing is genius because it does make me go now i need to listen yeah and i'm not even a journalist but if you're a journalist please don't steal my watch story so there's some watch story that could be stolen by journalists and it's just enough of a specific to get me clicking play and listening haven't done it yet have a lot going

on this week that's interesting because watch story is the one thing i don't want to do when i see jesse's instagram bodied so that was really funny that's gonna go i want you to write about it yeah i'm gonna remember this moment write it. Yeah, that's for your next comedy book. I'm on this week's episode and it rules. Jesse. It rules to be on it, right? Do you get to say that your episode rules? You know what? You're correct.

That is unclear. I more meant that it ruled to be on it, but it does make it seem like the episode rules. And I don't know if that's necessarily the case. Well, if you think that's unclear, let me hit you with the sentence before. I'd be lying if it wasn't also out of Secret-esque dream of being on one day.

Now, I know what you mean. Sure. But from Mr. Book? I don't. Why would you be lying if it wasn't i don't remember wait say it again read it again i'd be lying if it wasn't also out of secret-esque dream of being on one day so if if you listening to secret capitalized if you listening to long form if you listening to long form was not out of a secret-esque dream of being on the show one day why would you be

lying be lying because the previous sentence I believe implies that I listened primarily I was trying to learn things from the guests but I'd be lying if it wasn't also

out of secret-esque dream of being on one day yeah yeah yeah it's like a because i'm implying like oh look at look at me i'm like a good student but actually i am a snake but that's not what you said yeah you said you would be lying if you listening to long form if the condition of you listening to long form was not out of a secret-esque dream of you if you'd be lying if you if that were not the case yes i'd be lying if that was not so i'd be lying you'd be lying if you said that yes if that that it was not out of the secret-esque dream you wouldn't be lying if it wasn't you'd be lying if you said that yes that that it was not out of the secret estuary you wouldn't be lying if it wasn't you'd be lying but that's not what you said i'm going to immediately edit this right when it leaves and then they shouldn't let you do that they should they

should let some people know that should be locked in because then it's going to look like i'd be lying if i said that's what you said exactly you won't make you will not make a fool of me all right but this is we got another long this is new york like this is how you like get you know it's it's the hustle it's like the whole it's whatever it takes in new york like whatever i understand how it works there we like i'm gonna i'm gonna do two captions now. Okay? First one's long. 4,000 years ago... He's kidding. 4,000 years ago, when I imagined moving back to New York

to try to become a professional writer, I wondered if I'd ever get to meet Maris. Slaughterhouse-90210 was the only Tumblr I actually followed, and I thought it was the coolest thing on the internet. I feel very fortunate to be her friend now. It is quite meaningful that she enjoyed my book and wanted to talk to me about it on her podcast with a perfect name and it's called the maris review then i'm going to read another caption sure i am on the bechdel cast this week wow you i do not want to get bechdel casted i only we're gonna be more i need a big long story what are we gonna

get but i didn't know that that the bechdel cast cast treatment was an option that's on the table now i'm scared well yeah i mean like this is terrifying to me first of all there better be a a grid post and the grid post better have a are these all great long story are these are all on the grid he's hitting the gritty with every one i was here i did a poll asking if i'm supposed to put everything on the grid and my stories readers including sean said i don't know if you voted but i got i gotta vote he's got a vote if you democracy dies vote you got no right to complain yeah yeah so i believe i voted to put it did you think they should all go on the grid of course of course so there you go there's more to

the post i'm being unfair i'm on the bechdel cast this week talking about ruby sparks thank you jamie chrysler superstar and caitlinante. It was a manic pixie dream. Yeah. Cute little joke, but I just hope that we I hope we get more and all respect to that podcast. But, you know, you see the Marist Review one, you see the Long Form one, you think, boy,

this guy's really digging deep to do these captions. So what do we think? Like like what do we want to say and if these guys were in my book for a long time we can workshop some of the the quotes on this as well for the second edition sure yeah yeah tig on the cover says not a single person alive knows consumes or truly loves comedy like jesse david fox notice you didn't say as well as jesse david fox no one knows consumes or truly loves comedy like jesse david fox she's merely copying to the fact that you are an individual person on the specific very specific

in your tastes in your predilections i think that's accurate yeah it has to be it has to be that's on the cover i think she's worried about getting pulled into court let's look at this index covid 19 pandemic 27 112 155 157 185 to 86 259 266 297 to 99 304 306 311 to 14 comedians and 293 94 304 to 305 jesus i'm laughing my ass off i'm losing my shit man where we have 26 pages mentioning the covid pandemic i'm losing it that's fine it was happening while i was writing the book how could i not bring it up that much you You did it. Now, explain this other grid post to me. Oh, Steven Crowder's in here. Great.

I got another grid post to go over. In the same chapter that you're in. Steven Crowder is on page 288. I am on page 275. Great, thanks. Mm-hmm. Yep. It took 13 pages to make a connection

between the two of you but he did it there's 13 pages of like supporting evidence that it's like and that is why Hayes is the same so I have another I have another grid post I want to mention and I don't totally understand it but i'm just

looking at the picture and i'm sort of skimming the post as i did the book are you the one who told hassan minaj to make up those stories why do you ask it says truth is what a comedian makes of it and then there's a photo of hassan minaj and then it says our comedy writer well you wanted to be called comedy critic our comedy writer jesse david fox wrote a book exclamation point called comedy book how comedy conquered culture and the magic that makes it work and lucky for us we have a first look excerpt in the bio skibbity-da-da and the hope for comedy books and then it says

was not to change what people think about comedians and their comedy but how so you want to change how I think I do not use the term emotional truth but I get pretty close so why did you make hasan say those things

because otherwise no one would care about the book i don't write about him but like i write about things that uh are jay he's not even in it he's on page 105 and 117 It's the cover photo for the excerpt Lie detected Yeah he's in the book I think it's in a parenthetical About people that were on the Daily Show When you say I don't write about him You think the parenthetical

No one can read those That's just Just for Jesse That's some secret-esque writing I'd be lying if it wasn't secret-esque writing when i did a parenthetical it is in a parenthetical you're right but it's a long ass yeah it's a lot of people are on the daily show huge right well i guess there's no lie detected there and there were a lot of people on the daily show

katherine zeta jones is oh no katherine zeta jones is in the book and sean clements is not the book is called comedy book it's called comedy book we found our way to katherine zeta jones i was just thinking about today i was watching oceans 12 and i thought i wish i didn't put katherineeta-Jones in the book. And I thought... Jesus, it would have left a little bit of room. How many pages is it, Hayes? It is 316

generously spaced pages. So we're sub 350 to explain how comedy conquered culture and the magic that makes it work. And we got to Catherine Zeta-Jones and found me? Seems like we were doing some filler at some point i don't know i don't know maybe it's me maybe i'm crazy narendra modi page 125 the first half of the book we get to modi early it just seems early to get to Modi. It just seems early.

It just seems early to get to Modi. He's only in it once. He is only in it once. I thought maybe he was in it twice. But around the same time. Just killed a mosquito. They're still out there. Well,

you know, I mean, you've had a lot of space to apologize and to devise your caption we still gotta we still have to do that we haven't yeah we haven't really dug in at all on what it's gonna say so give me a taste of what it might be dr luke oh jesus dr luke yeah dr laura as well i believe yeah let's take a first pat i mean like dr drew's gotta be in there dr drew do you just do it like off the written when you are captioning this stuff do you just kind of like roll your eyes back in your head and just let the let your fingers go are they pre-loaded? Is it like how they have obituaries written already for people?

Do you have podcast captions? It's like how Jim Carrey wrote himself a million dollar check. Yeah, when I was on the first time, I go, I can't wait for when I'm back on the show, on main feed show. They're going to invite me back any day now as a make good for my main episode not being on it. Sean wasn't even on that record.

Jim Carrey's in the book on three pages. And I didn't show up for this one either. Fewer pages than Drew Michael. I don't even remember what I talked about Jim Carrey about. Jim Carrey is on pages 8, 58, and 63. That's fine. Drew Michael is on page 4.

I think Jim Carrey is a bigger comedian than I am. I'm not crazy. I haven't lost all sense of scale. I do think Jim Carrey is a bigger comedian than I am. I think you should be on three different pages. The least famous person that has the most pages

in the book. Who do you think it is? I have some ideas, but... Probably fucking Hayes. It wasn't Hayes. Hayes is one page. A glancing mention. Mm-hmm.

He ruffles my hair a little bit. Moves along. Meanwhile, Nick Ciarelli, pages 249 to 252. Oh, yeah. And if that weren't enough, we'd come back for more on page 254. We just thought we were done with Nick Cirelli.

Well, I'm summarizing that section after I go to Jaboukie. The section. The Cirelli section. Well, it's with Bradford. I'm not even going to turn to that part of the index. It's probably about the same exact pages. What about, I mean, obviously, so you're writing the caption.

Sure. I'll start with something like, when I was a little baby, my dream was to be on. I told my mommy that I wanted to be on Hollywood Handbook, and I couldn't say my – so I said Howeywood. Howeywood. Howeywood Handbook. That's good so far. Yeah. Yeah. Little baby JD could have seen how much I rocked.

When I did the show. The boys were loving my stuff. The perfectly named show. None of them called me Chuck Further Man. That's my little joke. About writing a bunch of essays with pop culture references. I think that could be really good i think that if it's talking about how he was telling his mommy that he wanted to be on the show

maybe it's like and i sit here so proud today as she laughs her fucking guts out yes at their entire catalog of incredible work. Not just my episode, which is worth subscribing for, but so many others. And you could just start listing 25, 30 episodes of the show that people need to check out. And just pro-version. Back at J-Wald stuff.

Yeah. All right, cool. of the show that people need to check out and just pro version haywalled stuff yeah all right cool there's a section 200 page 282 to 293 is about bad little boys oh yeah and sean's not in that you don't want to be one you know you don't want to be one that's insane excuse he doesn't want to be but he is of course he doesn't want to i don't want to be and nobody wants me to be, but the fact is. It's undeniable. I've been a little naughty lately. He's a bad little boy.

I'm sort of a bad little boy. I don't always listen. He needs to be punished. All right. I'm trying to find my consequences. I'm trying to find my consequences In the next edition I'll put you in a parenthetical next to Andrew Schultz and

Ricky Gervais Well we have a podcast with almost the same name I know exactly Yeah He comes across my feet a little bit now and then, and I do go like, am I, did I do this?

Yeah. How'd they know? That's the, yeah. We're the Ginsburg and the, I don't even think about you meme. That's not so bad. Yeah, it's okay comedy seller okay a lot of pages of the seller yeah they let you sit at the table i think i said if you don't remember that the answer is no you weren't at the table if the sentence is that it wasn't that table i stood in front of it and i can't

remember if i sat down to talk to gary goldman or if i or if he stood up uh-huh he's there friend yeah you would also remember if he's oh man you don't want to sit here here let me show you the really great table just take you outside sit you down at a Denny's across the street this is where it really happens do you have any big interviews at Vulture Fest this weekend that you're doing I'm interviewing Robin Thede she's teaching a comedy class

a comedy writing class big Thede call it that comedy class, a comedy writing class. Big Thede. Call it that. Call it that now? Yes. Change the name of the event. Change the name of the event, yes, to Big Thede.

Alright. She's probably been known to partake every now and then. Mm-hmm. A Thede-oker interview. That's and i'm introducing chelsea paredes doing a play she wrote her podcast is back and you're introducing it introducing it okay what what's the plan for that i don't know how do we do it i haven't seen plays get introduced a lot usually when i, the play just starts. How are you going to talk?

I can't believe how well you're doing at the introduction, during the introduction. It's going to be tough. I think it's mostly just going to be about how our podcast is back and how that's exciting. It is? It is exciting. No, I mean it's back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently it's back. It's on big money players. Ask her if yeah yeah okay it's on it's on uh big money players is there a ask her if she wants us to be on it is there a patreon i don't think i have not seen her announce a patreon okay i'll know if we get on the podcast am i in the next book about your episode of call chelsea peretti yeah all right does that make the book what do i have to do here renoir is in this that keeps keeps moving the fucking target for me if i do an extended version i will put back the thing about flagrant once i put in

but all those funny songs your subscribers paid to write for you excuse me we also wrote some funny songs yeah so there hasn't been songs in a while i know i know we're just it's so crazy lately you know i mean the covid19 pandemic look who wrote about it it's half your book you understand five months of not being allowed to do other work like it's it's just crazy it's crazy it's made us all so crazy but now i guess i'll be beating feet right about now it's a pro you know like i would love to go longer oh my god there's so much to talk about it sure was it sure was mighty fine to see you mr comedy book and i and i and i did love it and

and uh until next time to mr just jesse Fox now to me. Oh. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.