Hollywood Handbook - The Pro Version: Hollywood Handbook: The Movie (with Ben Rodgers)

Episode Date: March 5, 2020

The Boys are releasing one Pro Version episode from behind the paywall every Friday in Try Month. In this episode, Sean and Hayes help BEN RODGERS (the actor who portrays Bang Rodgman) write ...Hollywood Handbook: The Movie.To hear all episodes of The Pro Version, go to stitcherpremium.com and sign up with the code ‘HANDBOOK’ to get your first month free. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. diminishes me. Well, I wasn't at the time. At the time, I was not. And we've been known to do ads separately sometimes. Okay, but you put your headphones on, you pull the mic towards you. To me, that is that you were ready to do this. They can't see that. Are you not ready? They can't see that, Hayes. That's why I'm saying that it's both of us.
Starting point is 00:00:42 And now it is. But when you started talking, it wasn't necessarily. We are releasing one full bonus episode every week from our premium bonus series, Hollywood Handbook Pro Version. It's we now? And it says, please provide a short description that highlights how Pro Version differs from regular Hollywood Handbook episodes. It's such a,
Starting point is 00:01:05 like a big question, like where to even like begin on something like that. Like how is it different? Like, wow. I mean, it's different. Oh,
Starting point is 00:01:16 it's different as hell. Uh, it is shorter. And normally, well, normally it does cost money, It is shorter than normally. Well, normally it does cost money, but in this case it is free. Yep. So now is it the same? But there's rarely a guest.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Sometimes. Yeah. But not very often. No. If you want to listen to the rest of Hollywood Handbook Pro version, go to stitcherpremium.com and sign up with the code HANDBOOK. I would say, just as a description, that the Hollywood Handbook Pro version is a free-flowing conversation
Starting point is 00:01:57 that occasionally touches on mature subject matter. And how is that different from what we do on the main show um i would say that that is a very stiff stunted conversation that constantly explores nothing but mature subject matter can i just say this you have a promo code here yes yeah and what's what do they get for using the promo decision premium.com signium.com, sign up with code HANDBOOK. I think one month free. Okay, it doesn't say that. You get one month free with using code HANDBOOK.
Starting point is 00:02:33 You promise this? It's a Chef Kevin guarantee. Write to Kevin and let him know what you got when you used it. You'll get access to all our bonus episodes and ad-free listening experience for all Earwolf and Stitcher shows on the Stitcher app, but you can also listen to the ads version too, Kevin,
Starting point is 00:02:47 should be in here. That's right. Wow. Yeah, because the ads are all screwed up now in the free version. So if you want to listen to the show,
Starting point is 00:02:55 basically the Snyder Cut of the show is basically what it is. With all the ads in their correct order, you can listen to Hollywood Handbook, the ads version.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Yes. It's different from the pro version, but it is in there. And you'll be supporting our show, too. Thanks for listening. Hope you enjoy the episode. And remember, that's StitcherPremium.com, promo code Handbook. And again, nothing about the bonus. And my name's Sean. Like Kevin promised. Me and Cher haven't promised uh me and share uh con are uh becoming astronaut you and who share yeah con yeah uh and they say like okay now the new challenge is you have to go in this isolation tank.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Shere Khan? Shere Khan. Shere Khan? Yes. Different tiger? Yes. Oh my God. And so we're in the tank.
Starting point is 00:03:58 They're putting us in. Water? No water. Empty. For like 200 hours or something. and they're like okay so it's if it was water yeah soaked imagine go ahead even a little bit go ahead part of you would get wet uh and so they're like okay get in there depending on what you had on it's fine they give you galoshes or
Starting point is 00:04:25 something but they don't right no that so i did ask about that yeah and they're like there is no water you're naked butt naked no you have like on a t-shirt and a pair of joe boxers and shere khan shere khan is a tank, different room. It's isolation. What do you think he's wearing? I think he was probably wearing, there's a brand of boxers called Psycho Bunny. That's really kind of like funny and twisted. Dude. You know that rabbit, that like little cartoon bunny that's like, I'm going to kill you. You know that?
Starting point is 00:05:02 Yeah, I do. Like that kind of thing. Last thing I want in my draws. So they're like, get in there now, please. And they're like, it's going to be scary and they're all by yourself. So like hit a button if you can't
Starting point is 00:05:16 take it. And I'm like, okay, but am I allowed to watch movies in there? Oh, you found no one had ever asked that before. And that almost like in Men in Black is you've passed the test already they don't even need to put you in because you're thinking in this new creative way
Starting point is 00:05:32 yes but I'm like put me in there now because I want to watch some of these movies what were you watching that Paul Giamatti one about IVF yes what was that movie called Private Life yeah Jimati one about IVF. Yes. What was that movie called? Private Life.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Yeah. Because I did watch it. Mm-hmm. But I don't remember what it was called. But such a natural pairing. Well, they look like any married couple off the street. I mean, it just is. And I kept thinking, any married couple off the street. I mean, it just is. Um,
Starting point is 00:06:07 and I kept thinking, watching the movie, is that her real kids from those like Hyundai commercials or whatever that she does? Cause it seems like she is very natural with them. Have you seen those commercials? Oh yes. Is that her real kids? I think one is, and I think the other is AI.
Starting point is 00:06:33 So I pass that one, then they put me in the freaking swoopy ball. And they're like, okay, just try not to throw up in here. And I'm like, okay, am I allowed to eat the big spaghetti dinner while I'm in here, though? And they're like, no way you could do that. But I did. I didn't spill any of it because I'm moving it around as the ball in perfect sequence with the ball. You're spinning eating the spaghetti dinner. Yes.
Starting point is 00:06:56 And what did Shere Khan say? Again, there's a different room. Because you said that you were doing it together. But now every time I ask you about him, he's nowhere to be found. Yes, we were both enrolled. We were enrolled in the same program. room. Because you said that you were doing it together, but now every time I ask you about him, he's nowhere to be found. We were both enrolled in the same program. We were in the same astronaut class.
Starting point is 00:07:12 So yes, we did it together. I heard a hmm noise from our friend who's here today, and I wonder, what do you think about this, Ben? Hollywood hamburger. It smells fishy to me. Okay, yeah. Because he didn't know what he wore in the tank.
Starting point is 00:07:29 I said what I wore. But you didn't know what Shere Khan wore. Yeah, he wasn't there. You said maybe he had Psycho Bunny boxers. Yeah. Yes, that is my guess. You just presumed he was wearing Psycho Bunny boxers, and you kind of squeezed in a little ad for Psycho Bunny.
Starting point is 00:07:45 And then tried to change the subject to Psycho Bunny. You brought it back around. I don't think he was there, Sean. He wasn't! I'm not Perry Mason, but I think he was in a totally different room. He was! Yeah, now, I don't claim to be Perry Mason, but the more I think about it,
Starting point is 00:08:03 the more I think these guys were never even in the same room during this isolation tank. Oh, brother. So, you wanted to say the name of the show? I said it. What do we want to do today? This is a big one. Today? Well, it's huge.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Because we actually have a friend here. Yeah, on the pro version. Ben Rogers. From the other show he plays bang raj man would have been maybe smart to if we're portrays bang raj man on hollywood masterclass what's the play here are we pulling people over from i'm sean clemensmens and I portray a character known as Sean Clemens on the show Hollywood Masterclass this is Ben Rogers and he becomes Ben Rogers
Starting point is 00:08:53 for that show so this is on Stitcher Premium and I'm Chef Kevin as Hollywood Masterclass is it's a little like this show is a little like a carnival barker being like step right up but a little like a carnival barker being like, step right up,
Starting point is 00:09:06 but he's like inside the tent. I haven't. And people are like, I'm already in the tent. Sure. What the fuck are you doing in here, man? I have a joke. Stop asking me to come in.
Starting point is 00:09:17 I am here. I have a joke to make that I'm stealing from someone else. Someone else said it about someone else I know and it was a mean joke. Oh, cool. And I'm deciding whether I want to make it
Starting point is 00:09:26 about Chef Kevin because he's here. Do we get to know one of the names and we don't get to know if it's the person who said it or it was said about? Isn't that interesting? Wow. Right? That's tough. The person who... I can tell
Starting point is 00:09:42 you the name. Well, I can tell you who said it to give them credit for the joke. But I won't say who they said it about. Okay. But the person who I can tell you the name well I can tell you who said it to give them credit for the joke but I won't say who they said it about okay but the person who said it is my friend Dominic
Starting point is 00:09:51 he'll love being talked about like this he loves that as the crafter of a joke yes especially something mean
Starting point is 00:10:00 he said about someone else and it really doesn't work for Chef Kevin the person the joke should be about is the burger boy, Nick Weiger. Oh, okay, but it wasn't about him. It wasn't about him.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Okay. But it would be about him. And I'm reminded of it because we were talking about how one of Catherine Han's daughters in those commercials is portrayed by AI. Yes. And what was said about someone that I'll now say about Nick is
Starting point is 00:10:27 man, you tell me that Nick Weiger is like an AI android they made or something, I go, Jesus Christ. They're close. That's good. I wonder who he said that about he said it about someone and it was very funny yeah that's good
Starting point is 00:10:49 the idea that you would go oh they almost made a human yeah they're getting there couple more years couple more years they're gonna pass that that total recall test that's good we wanted Ben to help us with something today.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Yes, well, we've actually got an opportunity for Ben that's pretty exciting. And I'm excited about it. I can't imagine how he feels. Yeah, I mean, you guys, I think, said there was something on the table. Yeah, I'd love to...
Starting point is 00:11:20 Well, there's an opportunity that has come to us through a series of meetings the way this town always works. Speaking of something on the table, the signatures are not accumulating on this one the way they did on the other one. People, I don't know if the bloom is off the rose a little bit, but it's not like people are coming in here and wanting to sign the table. I never signed the old one. I didn't either. I refuse. Are you kidding table. I never signed the old one.
Starting point is 00:11:45 I didn't either. I refuse. Are you kidding? I may have signed the old one. I definitely didn't sign this one. I'll do it for $1,000. Yeah, $1,000. I'll do it for $2,000. Per letter. But there's a whole thing of Sharpies and
Starting point is 00:12:01 no one is interested. No. Chef Kevin. I mean, and I even picked up the novelty cat pen because it got me. I'm not going to use it. But sign the table with it? Forget it. I'm going to look at it. People don't want anyone to know they were here.
Starting point is 00:12:17 I mean, PFT still has a lot of real estate he's working with, so some people love a good autograph. Now, what about writing someone else's name? Ooh, someone did write Jennifer Aniston and someone believed it when they walked in. Oh, yeah, here it is right here. Yeah, that's big. One dots her eyes with hearts and someone believed that.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Write, like, Louie. Like, he was here? And date it, like, really recently. Last week. Whoa, why'd they let him do a podcast yeah but like have him do like different signatures for each each show he was on oh yeah you could assign it to the show hd tgm Jerk off book. Okay, what we got to do, because we're almost out of time. Engineer Jordan's here, too.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Are we watching the time? Jerk off book. I'm watching the time. And we, and you. Okay, I mean, we're never going to get to this proposal if we don't start now. That's what I'm saying. Okay, so Psycho Bunny has come to us with an offer. I knew it.
Starting point is 00:13:34 I knew Psycho Bunny people got you guys. It was their coincidence. I knew they got you guys. They're interested in potentially producing a series of Psycho Bunny ads that would effectively become a Hollywood handbook movie. Now, Hayes and I are both too busy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Okay. It's what's known as an if-come deal. There's money there if they are able to then sell the collection of ads to a big movie studio. Yes. If the studio executives
Starting point is 00:14:11 come to the meeting, then you can get the payment. But there's a contract in place and we need a ghostwriter to tell our stories. And it's through a series of ads? It's going to be in 30-second chunks, which I think makes it easier for you
Starting point is 00:14:33 that you kind of can break the film down into a series of 30-second scenes that just happen to feature Psycho Bunny. It's an interstitial movie. Okay. And so was that a kind of soft pitch early on trying to show me the ropes a little bit squeezing that just came up organically that I guess that's what he thought Shere Khan was wearing
Starting point is 00:14:51 if he was even there I don't think they were in two different rooms there's no fucking way I would bet anything they were in two different rooms so anyway gaslighting me is Ghost Rider a pun the Nicolas Cage movie out
Starting point is 00:15:06 you're out of the studio you're out of the studio permanently permanently come on the guy works here forever if I find out that another show let you in the studio if I see you on Freedom
Starting point is 00:15:24 there will be words and the words and I got two of the words right here fuck and you he will say that to you that's coming up that's loaded up
Starting point is 00:15:42 I have that one that phrase is ready. And that's only two of the words. Are you trying to... The third word's your name. Are you trying to... I'm not saying if it goes before or after, but it's in there.
Starting point is 00:16:00 This sounds like you, like, spinning the wheel of the ocean liner to get to a plug for America's Horror Story. So you tell a ghostwriter joke, and then you go like, speaking of ghosts. That's pretty scary. Yeah. You know what else is scary is America's Horror Story. Ben, have you ever watched American Horror Story? I think I saw an episode.
Starting point is 00:16:21 It doesn't matter. So I'm working on this show called America's Horror Story. Okay. And everyone sits. Sounds close. Everyone. The story is everyone, the show is everyone sits down one at a time and they tell the scariest story they've ever heard. And then they end with, and that's America's Horror Story.
Starting point is 00:16:42 And it's hosted by America Ferreira. What do you think? Well, it's got a couple problems for me but I think yeah, run with it, man. What's the problems?
Starting point is 00:16:58 Well, if it's a bunch of people telling different stories, which one is America's horror story the thing is they're all so Kevin's bit the problem shouldn't it be pluralized
Starting point is 00:17:11 America's horror stories kind of like America's funniest videos like if it was America's funniest video and then they showed a whole show 50 videos everybody would be like why the fuck isn't, what's going on here? Okay, I'll take that note.
Starting point is 00:17:29 I'll add in, I'll pluralize it. Kevin's bit was too, there was like too much. So first he was like a sex pervert. Hi, man. Hi, posh. Yes, hi. He was into like weird sex stuff. And then he was the most boring guy on earth, and now his
Starting point is 00:17:47 bit is just that he- Just has one TV show idea. ... is trying to pitch a show called America's Horror Story. Which incarnation do you think will last the longest? Because this ex-pervert made it up almost a year. That had legs. Yeah. Also, America, Ferrara isn't telling the story, right?
Starting point is 00:18:07 No, she's hosting it So I mean it makes the name more complicated Isn't it a conflict with Superstore? Uh, no because she's Okay, I guess it could be a conflict
Starting point is 00:18:22 I gotta talk to some people Yeah, your shooting schedule is gonna be nuts well maybe I could cause they're in first position I mean if you just have her tell a story the whole thing could work then the because then that would be America's horror story
Starting point is 00:18:38 even if she no matter what she did yeah no matter what a good suggestion Sean gave was I could franchise it to like Romania's like romania's horror story italy's horror story and i go to each country and every single person tell but i could do the same thing nobody named that yeah yeah there's nobody named italy bosh wants some focus here yeah what's happening with them it wasn't well i'm still scared about reggie's gas mask yeah i was terrified it Reggie's mask.
Starting point is 00:19:06 That's a big tease to next week's. Yeah, it'll be really fun. Ooh, Reggie. Reggie? Reggie Jackson? The candy bar guy? So, so, Bosh has been pretty sassy lately, and I wanted
Starting point is 00:19:23 to talk to you about something that he's been saying. Yeah. So maybe just ask him, like, ask him, like, what he's been up to. Okay. Well, let me just sort of, like, lead up to it. Hey, Bosh. Hey, what's up, hey? Oh, not too much.
Starting point is 00:19:40 What have you been up to? Oh, I don't know. I've been hanging out in the studio listening to your dumb ass. What do you think, Einstein the genius? Okay, so it's calling people Einstein the genius. Yes, which I think... There's a little bit of an extra flourish. You could say Einstein, or you could just say genius.
Starting point is 00:20:01 You're doubling it up. You don't have to. Oh, thanks for the note. I just added the genius. Okay, into it again. Yeah, so to me, I just think it's unnecessary to do both. He has really been wanting attention, so I think he was looking,
Starting point is 00:20:17 as you anticipated, he's been looking for an opportunity to get that one off. Hold on, my wife's calling me. Yeah, answer it, man. Hey, you're on Hollywood Handbook Pro version. Oh, God. I'm in here with Bang Raj, man.
Starting point is 00:20:35 You know, the actor that portrays him anyway. Hayes Davenport, Chef Kevin, Engineer Jordan, and the Bosch man. You're talking to about 2,000 fans right now. If that. I'm picking up Bosch. Yeah, okay. Are you outside? I'm here. Tell Kev to bring Bosch. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:55 I love you. I love you. Now, Sean, do you remember what joke that waiter made that Bosh really liked? Because it wasn't really a joke, but he was talking about it for fucking months. Do you remember it? It was something about, you know, that we like cleaned our plate or something. Yeah, I remember him talking about it. cleaned our plate or something.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Yeah, I remember him talking about it. And he told me to quit comedy because this guy's going to take all the comedy jobs. It was kind of fucking mean, but it wasn't even a joke. It was like a kind of generic waitery thing. Oh, right. It was like, yeah, yeah, you guys must have really hated that,
Starting point is 00:21:42 something like that. Yeah, that's right. You guys must have really hated it, something like that. Yeah, that's right. You guys must have really hated it. But we had completely cleaned the plate. Yeah. I mean, it was like we had licked the sauce off the plate. And he goes, you guys must have hated it. Bosh.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Ah-ha-ha. Yeah. Ah-ha-ha. I thought he had left. Ah-ha-ha. Well, I think he heard us from out there. Aided it. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:22:12 They freaking love this meal. Do we have... What time are we at? Do we have time to do our premise? Yes, you have time. How much time in the show do we at? Do we have time to do our premise? Yes, you have time. How much time in the show do we have? I mean, you have, you're about like 20 minutes. Oh.
Starting point is 00:22:34 25. No, the premise is too meaty. It's too juicy. Too juicy. Yeah, of course. I mean, imagine a series of interstitials. Yeah, right. Featuring Psycho Bunny that told the true behind-the-scenes story of the podcast Hollywood Handbook.
Starting point is 00:22:50 And it's a movie. Do you want to just pitch us the first couple ideas that come to mind? The first dozen ideas that come to mind about that for you? Yeah, sure. Just a dozen or so scenes off the top of your head? Just a lot. No, just the first dozen. Not a couple.
Starting point is 00:23:10 I don't need to hear 48 scenes, but let's hear the first 12 scenes. Make it a baker's dozen if you're having trouble narrowing it down. Great. And we have to work in Psycho Bunny, or does the Psycho Bunny... We more have to work in our show Bunny, or does the Psycho Bunny character show up?
Starting point is 00:23:25 We more have to work in our show. Yeah, Hollywood Handbook is kind of a secondary character. Yeah, the Psycho Bunny has to be the primary feature, at least in the first few. And I'm kind of winging it here. First dozen or so. I am not that familiar with Psycho Bunny. Have you seen Donnie Darko?
Starting point is 00:23:43 Yeah. Doesn't he look like... Crazy looking, yeah. Okay. All right. Maybe we have a kid's birthday party. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:55 And Psycho Bunny shows up. And the mom is freaked out. Sure. And the mom's like, what are you doing here i didn't hire a psycho bunny i wanted a funny magician but then all the kids see the psycho bunny and they're like whoa mom hold up this dude's actually pretty cool and they're having a blast and then uh one of them's like hey you guys heard this new podcast, Hollywood Handbook? The kids, they're little.
Starting point is 00:24:31 It would be good if people did think it was new. Yeah. I loved it. This takes place years ago. Okay. I'm starting the movie at like when you guys are starting the podcast. Okay. I prefer if people think we just started always.
Starting point is 00:24:44 I'd like to bury the lead a little bit. I don't want... Because in conversation... With the size of our fan base, if we just started, not bad. And the conversation when people find out that I do a podcast, it always goes to like,
Starting point is 00:25:00 how long you've been doing it. Right. And I say, five years. And they're like, oh, wow. And that's just this one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:11 So actually, if it could be set in the future and they're just finding out about it and if the kids are really little. Okay. Yeah. I think that helps because the show could maybe be for babies. We've lost a few generations.
Starting point is 00:25:30 We're just kind of like scratching out different generations of fan bases. Okay. Well, okay. What if it's at a hospital and it's
Starting point is 00:25:44 the maternity ward. Lots of babies behind that glass. Yeah. And the nurse... There's only one nurse? Well, yeah, it's late and there's like bad stuff going on in the town.
Starting point is 00:26:02 So... bad stuff going on in the town. There's a lot of bad stuff happening. Okay. They had to pull all the other nurses. Yeah, a lot of the... The hospital's busy in other wings. Okay. Yeah. All right, it's fucked up.
Starting point is 00:26:21 No, I got it. Okay. We don't have to get into it, but shit's fucked up in this town. All it. Okay. We don't have to get into it, but shit's fucked up in this town. Alright? We better make it clear just before you get there. We should make it clear that Psycho Bunny
Starting point is 00:26:34 is not the one doing the bad stuff in this town. Oh, well, yes. It's going to be very clear because Psycho Bunny's showing up. And the nurse is... Because Psycho Bunny's trying to... He's giving blood Psycho bunny's there giving blood And figures
Starting point is 00:26:53 Hey I better entertain these kids And the nurse is like What the heck are you doing here You look crazy And the babies are like Wait a second this guy's actually pretty cool Hold up now Yeah let him stay
Starting point is 00:27:09 And They all kind of party With the psycho So they put on some music And just dance The newborn babies are dancing In the maternity ward And they're dancing
Starting point is 00:27:24 And I figured it would be a good time to bring Dancing baby back The newborn babies are dancing in the maternity ward. Uh-huh. And they're dancing. And I figured it'd be a good time to bring Dancing Baby back. Yes. The Ally McBeal Dancing Baby. Of course. That's ready to come back around. That nostalgia. It's already been rendered and stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:38 So we got that in there. So they're all dancing to music and then maybe somebody goes, anybody else sick of this music? Yes. Honestly, more stimulating to feel like you're part of a conversation. To feel like your friends
Starting point is 00:27:58 are all hanging out instead of the more passive experience of music. Well, also the babies are like, anybody else bummed out with all the bad shit that's going on? Yeah, need an escape. I could use a freaking laugh. Something to cheer me up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Let's throw on this podcast I just heard about. I think it's new. Yeah, the baby heard about it. One thing I wonder, and Hayes, you should be here to weigh in on this is how are we going to address the hollywood masterclass controversy in the movie in terms of like if the movie's about hollywood handbook obviously you're extremely mad about that show existing this dig right how hmm well it was given this setup right yes that the babies are hearing about hollywood handbook for the first time they think it is a new show
Starting point is 00:28:54 here's what i would be willing to accept okay that they got into hollywood handbook through hollywood masterclass but now it's kind of like their comedy bang bang where they don't really listen to hollywood masterclass anymore right now i thought that was like next level funny stuff yes and now i've realized like what the what the juice is i can't you know i'm not gonna be like there's no universe obviously where hollywood masterclass doesn't exist i have to this is where the world that we live in i have to like well yeah and i want to talk it's uncomfortable but let's talk about i can work that in there but i i suspect the psycho bunny people aren't going to be crazy about that one uh just because it's pretty focused on the podcast only.
Starting point is 00:29:47 That whole, oh, yeah. Just that storyline at all. I think we can do it in kind of like an unspoken way or kind of like we can maybe- What do you think of this? It's set at a police station. Totally empty. All right? Cops are all busting their ass.
Starting point is 00:30:02 I mean, this time it's fucked up. The police are all, like the police station's a ghost town. And you got one, like, the town drunk. He's in the drunk tank. Yeah. And he's rambling about how Hollywood Masterclass used to be something. Now he's kind of into fucking Hollywood Handbook, and that's actually a lot cooler to him now.
Starting point is 00:30:32 We could have him not say it. If you could just see his phone and the podcast he subscribes to, and Hollywood Masterclass has an exclamation point next to it of like, you haven't downloaded this show. Do you want to continue downloading new episodes because you haven't listened for six months or something anyway the psycho bunny shows up
Starting point is 00:30:51 he's like got a he's got a boxer cannon so instead of t-shirts at the ball game this one's full of friggin' boxer shorts. And they're probably
Starting point is 00:31:10 same problem, they're probably too friggin' big like they are at the game. But still, you can sleep in them and stuff, and this friggin' town drunk needs them. I mean, he probably smells like shit, and I'm sure he's bloody pissed. Yeah, he soiled his pants. I mean, it's fucked up, but he probably did.
Starting point is 00:31:27 Yeah. He's been in here 72 hours. And the babies all did, too, in the previous scene. That's true, too. Yeah. And they all needed fresh drawers. They all needed fresh drawers. They needed Psycho Bunny diapers.
Starting point is 00:31:36 This is innocent. This is a little darker, but I think people want something a little darker. But that goes with the Psycho Bunny brand. And our show, frankly. I mean, it's pretty intense. Oh, yeah, it's a little darker. That goes with the Psycho Bunny brand. And our show, frankly. It's pretty intense. Some of the stuff we talk about is really edgy. How did it go, dropping off? Box.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Nailed it. Is there a world where America's horror story is in this too? Maybe like the drunk is all, when he's rambling about it, that's playing in the background. This whole thing. It's been weeks. We don't do any of the old stuff anymore.
Starting point is 00:32:09 It's just America's Horror Story. I guess he's still a boring guy, but just like it's too specific. And his pitch starts, though, narrow. His pitch starts, have you seen American Horror Story? Yes. That seems like you're doing yourself a disservice. You should want to get away from that. Well, I want you to remember something
Starting point is 00:32:26 that you probably enjoy. Like, oh yeah, good television, sure. Oh, what's like good television? Your thing is there's so many channels now you really think there's room in the landscape for both. Yes, absolutely. That's true. Have you seen how many channels?
Starting point is 00:32:41 I have a list that updates of the number of channels. It's almost doubled in the past six months wow wow it updates it updates when i refresh it and it'll go this many channels wow and let's just give an example 20 okay okay and then become almost 40 literally almost 40 yeah and that might be exponential. That might just keep... Yeah, that might be exponential. That might be exponential. There's this X-Man named Enchil and he multiplies things.
Starting point is 00:33:14 Yeah, yeah. Did you and Sean's wife talk at all? Yeah, it was great. I said she was super funny on the show and she's like great take care no I'm just kidding
Starting point is 00:33:28 you're just kidding she was very nice as always what'd she do she just she's coming from yoga huh I think so
Starting point is 00:33:36 yeah I said should I just leave Bosch what do you mean you think so like she smelled bad or something yeah
Starting point is 00:33:40 yeah what did she smell bad no she had on a I gotta know what I'm coming home to. If she smells bad, I gotta know that before I come home.
Starting point is 00:33:49 Big pit stains? No. She had on athletic clothes. Can we go back to the America's Horror Story thing? So,
Starting point is 00:33:59 one thing is, Ben, obviously you know that we get paid for this show, and so we should pay our guests. We are going straight from here to a basketball game. Hayes and I share season tickets.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Hashtag the flagrant ones. Hashtag the flagrant ones. And you, you're mad, Kevin. Good. Look how mad he is. Hashtag over it. Stay mad. So you're... Wow, there's not
Starting point is 00:34:30 even any available. So you are going to be using Hayes' ticket. He can't use it. I'm going to see Dear Evan Hansen. Which I've seen already. Cool. So we didn't ask you to pay for the ticket in any way but also you haven't asked us
Starting point is 00:34:48 to pay you for this appearance i wonder if we can call it square and i'm just looking up on seat geek right now how much a single ticket would cost so that we can see whether someone anyone owes anybody anything on either side of it. I can kind of see where this is going. Okay. I mean, I feel like negotiations about pay stuff are better with, you know,
Starting point is 00:35:19 lawyers and stuff. Done on air. Well, well, my wife was on the episode already. She's a lawyer. Yeah. Maybe we should, I i mean we probably should ask her um yeah well she signed off and you know yeah there's a tacit agreement here did you get the number well so there's no tickets currently available in our section in the section wow behind priceless and the second in the section behind us so a full
Starting point is 00:35:47 tier up yeah a ticket to today's game would be 112 oh my god wow that's the one behind us that's a an additional maybe 20 feet up wow okay so you're thinking for this podcast appearance and uh all the ads that become the movie we're square is kind of what you're saying or i don't i didn't hear him say that one way or another but i did hear we're all adults he's dancing around it let's not play fucking dumb guys all right guys dancer he's not play fucking dumb, guys. All right? Guy's dancing. He's doing the fucking mumbo around the idea. We all know what he's getting at. Well, is that what you were saying?
Starting point is 00:36:34 I don't, you know. The listeners ain't babies yet. They're going to be in the future. They still got a couple fucking brain cells dancing around in there. Yeah, all right. Okay. Hey, you know, maybe the birthday one? Uh-huh. Maybe the birthday one or the hospital one?
Starting point is 00:36:54 I'm willing to throw those in there. Okay. But the police precinct one. The police precinct one. That's on top. Cash on top. Yeah. You buy him something at the game?
Starting point is 00:37:04 Yeah, like a chicken sandwich or something. Okay, all right you buy him something at the game yeah like a chicken sandwich or something okay alright one chicken sandwich at the game and or a Wetzel pretzel
Starting point is 00:37:13 sinful cinnamon alright yeah yeah alright you got the cop one alright well this has been the Hollywood Handbook
Starting point is 00:37:21 pro version did we not go bye Hollywood Handbook Pro Version. Jordan, did we not go... Bye. Hollywood Handbook. The Pro Version. That was a HeadGum Podcast.

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