Hollywood Handbook - The Pro Version: Hollywood Handbook: The Movie (with Ben Rodgers)
Episode Date: March 5, 2020The Boys are releasing one Pro Version episode from behind the paywall every Friday in Try Month. In this episode, Sean and Hayes help BEN RODGERS (the actor who portrays Bang Rodgman) write ...Hollywood Handbook: The Movie.To hear all episodes of The Pro Version, go to stitcherpremium.com and sign up with the code ‘HANDBOOK’ to get your first month free. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast. diminishes me. Well, I wasn't at the time. At the time, I was not. And we've been known to do ads separately sometimes.
Okay, but you put your headphones
on, you pull the mic towards you.
To me, that is that you were ready
to do this. They can't see that.
Are you not ready? They can't see that, Hayes.
That's why I'm saying
that it's both of us.
And now it is.
But when you started talking, it wasn't necessarily.
We are releasing one full bonus episode every week
from our premium bonus series, Hollywood Handbook Pro Version.
It's we now?
And it says, please provide a short description
that highlights how Pro Version differs from regular Hollywood Handbook episodes.
It's such a,
like a big question,
like where to even like begin on something like that.
Like how is it different?
Like,
wow.
I mean,
it's different.
Oh,
it's different as hell.
Uh,
it is shorter.
And normally, well, normally it does cost money, It is shorter than normally.
Well, normally it does cost money, but in this case it is free.
Yep.
So now is it the same?
But there's rarely a guest.
Sometimes.
Yeah.
But not very often.
No.
If you want to listen to the rest of Hollywood Handbook Pro version,
go to stitcherpremium.com and sign up with the code HANDBOOK.
I would say, just as a description,
that the Hollywood Handbook Pro version is a free-flowing conversation
that occasionally touches on mature subject matter.
And how is that different from what we do on the main show um i would say that that is a
very stiff stunted conversation that constantly explores nothing but mature subject matter
can i just say this you have a promo code here yes yeah and what's what do they get
for using the promo decision premium.com signium.com, sign up with code HANDBOOK.
I think one month free.
Okay, it doesn't say that.
You get one month free with using code HANDBOOK.
You promise this?
It's a Chef Kevin guarantee.
Write to Kevin and let him know what you got when you used it.
You'll get access to all our bonus episodes
and ad-free listening experience
for all Earwolf and Stitcher shows on the Stitcher app,
but you can also listen
to the ads version too, Kevin,
should be in here.
That's right.
Wow.
Yeah, because the ads
are all screwed up now
in the free version.
So if you want to listen
to the show,
basically the Snyder Cut
of the show
is basically what it is.
With all the ads
in their correct order,
you can listen to
Hollywood Handbook,
the ads version.
Yes. It's different from the pro version, but it is in there.
And you'll be supporting our show, too. Thanks for listening.
Hope you enjoy the episode. And remember, that's
StitcherPremium.com, promo code
Handbook. And again, nothing about
the bonus. And my name's Sean.
Like Kevin promised.
Me and Cher haven't promised uh me and share uh con are uh becoming astronaut you and who share yeah con yeah uh and they say like okay now the new challenge is you have to go in this isolation tank.
Shere Khan?
Shere Khan.
Shere Khan?
Yes.
Different tiger?
Yes.
Oh my God.
And so we're in the tank.
They're putting us in.
Water?
No water.
Empty.
For like 200 hours or something. and they're like okay so it's
if it was water yeah soaked imagine go ahead even a little bit go ahead part of you would get wet
uh and so they're like okay get in there depending on what you had on it's fine
they give you galoshes or
something but they don't right no that so i did ask about that yeah and they're like there is no
water you're naked butt naked no you have like on a t-shirt and a pair of joe boxers
and shere khan shere khan is a tank, different room. It's isolation. What do you think he's wearing?
I think he was probably wearing, there's a brand of boxers called Psycho Bunny.
That's really kind of like funny and twisted.
Dude.
You know that rabbit, that like little cartoon bunny that's like, I'm going to kill you.
You know that?
Yeah, I do.
Like that kind of thing.
Last thing I want in my
draws.
So they're like, get in there now, please.
And they're like,
it's going to be scary and they're all by yourself.
So like hit a button if you can't
take it. And I'm like, okay, but
am I allowed to watch movies in there?
Oh, you found
no one had ever asked that before.
And that almost like in Men in Black
is you've passed the test already
they don't even need to put you in
because you're thinking in this new creative way
yes but I'm like
put me in there now because I want to
watch some of these movies
what were you watching that
Paul Giamatti one about IVF
yes what was that movie called
Private Life yeah Jimati one about IVF. Yes. What was that movie called?
Private Life.
Yeah.
Because I did watch it.
Mm-hmm.
But I don't remember what it was called.
But such a natural pairing.
Well, they look like any married couple off the street.
I mean, it just is.
And I kept thinking, any married couple off the street. I mean, it just is. Um,
and I kept thinking,
watching the movie,
is that her real kids from those like Hyundai commercials or whatever that she does?
Cause it seems like she is very natural with them.
Have you seen those commercials?
Oh yes.
Is that her real kids?
I think one is, and I think the other is AI.
So I pass that one, then they put me in the freaking swoopy ball.
And they're like, okay, just try not to throw up in here.
And I'm like, okay, am I allowed to eat the big spaghetti dinner while I'm in here, though?
And they're like, no way you could do that.
But I did.
I didn't spill any of it because I'm moving it around as the ball in perfect sequence with the ball.
You're spinning eating the spaghetti dinner.
Yes.
And what did Shere Khan say?
Again, there's a different room.
Because you said that you were doing it together.
But now every time I ask you about him, he's nowhere to be found.
Yes, we were both enrolled. We were enrolled in the same program. room. Because you said that you were doing it together, but now every time I ask you about him, he's nowhere
to be found. We were both enrolled
in the same program. We were in the same
astronaut class.
So yes, we did it
together. I heard a hmm noise from
our friend who's here today, and I wonder,
what do you think about this, Ben?
Hollywood hamburger. It smells
fishy
to me. Okay, yeah.
Because he didn't know what he wore in the tank.
I said what I wore.
But you didn't know what Shere Khan wore.
Yeah, he wasn't there.
You said maybe he had Psycho Bunny boxers.
Yeah.
Yes, that is my guess.
You just presumed he was wearing Psycho Bunny boxers,
and you kind of squeezed in a little ad for Psycho Bunny.
And then tried to change the subject to Psycho Bunny.
You brought it back around.
I don't think he was there, Sean.
He wasn't!
I'm not Perry Mason, but I think he was in a totally different room.
He was!
Yeah, now, I don't claim to be Perry Mason,
but the more I think about it,
the more I think these guys were never even in the same room
during this isolation tank.
Oh, brother.
So, you wanted to say the name of the show?
I said it.
What do we want to do today?
This is a big one.
Today? Well, it's huge.
Because we actually have a friend here.
Yeah, on the pro version.
Ben Rogers.
From the other show he plays bang raj man would have been maybe smart to if we're portrays bang raj man on hollywood
masterclass what's the play here are we pulling people over from i'm sean clemensmens and I portray a character known as Sean Clemens
on the show Hollywood Masterclass
this is Ben Rogers
and he becomes Ben Rogers
for that show
so this is on Stitcher Premium
and I'm Chef Kevin
as Hollywood Masterclass is
it's a little like
this show is a little like a carnival barker
being like step right up but a little like a carnival barker being like,
step right up,
but he's like inside the tent.
I haven't.
And people are like,
I'm already in the tent.
Sure.
What the fuck are you doing in here, man?
I have a joke.
Stop asking me to come in.
I am here.
I have a joke to make
that I'm stealing from someone else.
Someone else said it
about someone else I know
and it was a mean joke.
Oh, cool.
And I'm deciding whether I want to make it
about Chef Kevin because he's here.
Do we get to know one of the names
and we don't get to know if it's
the person who said it or it was said
about? Isn't that interesting?
Wow.
Right? That's tough.
The person who... I can tell
you the name. Well, I can tell you who said it
to give them credit for the joke. But I won't say who they said it about. Okay. But the person who I can tell you the name well I can tell you who said it to give them credit
for the joke
but I won't say
who they said it about
okay
but the person who said it
is my friend Dominic
he'll love
being talked about
like this
he loves that
as the crafter
of a joke
yes
especially something mean
he said about someone else
and it really doesn't
work for Chef Kevin
the person the joke
should be about
is the burger boy, Nick Weiger.
Oh, okay, but it wasn't about him.
It wasn't about him.
Okay.
But it would be about him.
And I'm reminded of it because we were talking about
how one of Catherine Han's daughters in those commercials
is portrayed by AI.
Yes.
And what was said about someone
that I'll now say about Nick is
man, you tell me that Nick Weiger is like
an AI android
they made or something, I go, Jesus Christ.
They're close.
That's good.
I wonder who he said that about
he said it about someone and it was very funny
yeah that's good
the idea that you would go
oh they almost made a human
yeah they're getting there
couple more years
couple more years they're gonna pass that
that total recall test
that's good
we wanted Ben to help us with something today.
Yes, well, we've actually got an opportunity
for Ben that's pretty exciting.
And I'm excited about it.
I can't imagine how he feels.
Yeah, I mean, you guys,
I think,
said there was something on the table.
Yeah, I'd love to...
Well, there's an opportunity that has come to us
through a series of meetings the way
this town always works.
Speaking of something on the table, the signatures are not accumulating on this one the way they
did on the other one.
People, I don't know if the bloom is off the rose a little bit, but it's not like people
are coming in here and wanting to sign the table.
I never signed the old one. I didn't either. I refuse. Are you kidding table. I never signed the old one.
I didn't either. I refuse. Are you kidding?
I may have signed the old one. I definitely
didn't sign this one. I'll do it for
$1,000. Yeah, $1,000.
I'll do it for $2,000.
Per letter.
But there's
a whole thing of Sharpies and
no one is interested.
No. Chef Kevin.
I mean, and I even picked up the novelty cat pen because it got me.
I'm not going to use it.
But sign the table with it?
Forget it.
I'm going to look at it.
People don't want anyone to know they were here.
I mean, PFT still has a lot of real estate he's working with,
so some people love a good autograph.
Now, what about writing someone else's name?
Ooh, someone did write Jennifer Aniston
and someone believed it when they walked in.
Oh, yeah, here it is right here.
Yeah, that's big.
One dots her eyes with hearts and someone believed that.
Write, like, Louie.
Like, he was here?
And date it, like, really recently.
Last week.
Whoa, why'd they let him do a podcast yeah but like have him do like different signatures for each each show he was on
oh yeah you could assign it to the show hd tgm Jerk off book.
Okay, what we got to do, because we're almost out of time.
Engineer Jordan's here, too.
Are we watching the time?
Jerk off book.
I'm watching the time.
And we, and you.
Okay, I mean, we're never going to get to this proposal if we don't start now.
That's what I'm saying.
Okay, so Psycho Bunny has come to us with an offer.
I knew it.
I knew Psycho Bunny people got you guys.
It was their coincidence.
I knew they got you guys.
They're interested in potentially producing a series of
Psycho Bunny ads that would effectively become
a Hollywood handbook movie.
Now, Hayes and I are both too busy.
Okay.
Okay.
It's
what's known as an if-come deal.
There's money there if they
are able to then
sell the collection of ads to a big movie studio.
Yes.
If the studio executives
come to the meeting,
then you can get the payment.
But there's a contract in place
and we need
a ghostwriter
to tell our stories.
And it's through a series of ads?
It's going to be in 30-second chunks, which I think makes it easier for you
that you kind of can break the film down into a series of 30-second scenes
that just happen to feature Psycho Bunny.
It's an interstitial movie.
Okay.
And so was that a kind of soft pitch early on
trying to show me the ropes a little bit
squeezing that just came up organically
that I guess that's what he thought Shere Khan was wearing
if he was even there I don't think
they were in two different rooms
there's no fucking way I would bet
anything they were in two different rooms
so anyway
gaslighting me is Ghost Rider
a pun the Nicolas Cage movie
out
you're out
of the studio
you're out of the studio permanently
permanently
come on the guy works here
forever if I find out that another show
let you in the studio if I see you on
Freedom
there will be words
and the words and I got
two of the words right here
fuck
and you
he will say
that to you
that's coming up that's loaded up
I have that one
that phrase is ready.
And that's only two of the words.
Are you trying to...
The third word's your name.
Are you trying to...
I'm not saying if it goes before or after,
but it's in there.
This sounds like you, like,
spinning the wheel of the ocean liner to get to a plug for America's Horror Story.
So you tell a ghostwriter joke, and then you go like, speaking of ghosts.
That's pretty scary.
Yeah.
You know what else is scary is America's Horror Story.
Ben, have you ever watched American Horror Story?
I think I saw an episode.
It doesn't matter.
So I'm working on this show called America's Horror Story.
Okay.
And everyone sits.
Sounds close.
Everyone.
The story is everyone, the show is everyone sits down one at a time and they tell the scariest story they've ever heard.
And then they end with, and that's America's Horror Story.
And it's hosted by America Ferreira.
What do you think?
Well,
it's got a couple
problems for me
but I think
yeah, run with it, man.
What's the problems?
Well, if it's a bunch of people telling different
stories,
which one is
America's horror story
the thing is they're all
so Kevin's bit
the problem
shouldn't it be pluralized
America's horror stories
kind of like America's funniest videos
like if it was America's
funniest video and then they
showed a whole show
50 videos everybody would be like
why the fuck isn't, what's going on here?
Okay, I'll take that note.
I'll add in, I'll pluralize it.
Kevin's bit was too, there was like too much.
So first he was like a sex pervert.
Hi, man.
Hi, posh.
Yes, hi.
He was into like weird sex stuff.
And then he was the most boring guy on earth, and now his
bit is just that he-
Just has one TV show idea.
... is trying to pitch a show called America's Horror Story.
Which incarnation do you think will last the longest?
Because this ex-pervert made it up almost a year.
That had legs.
Yeah.
Also, America, Ferrara isn't telling the story, right?
No, she's hosting it
So
I mean
it makes the name more complicated
Isn't it a conflict with Superstore?
Uh, no
because she's
Okay, I guess it could be a conflict
I gotta talk to some people
Yeah, your shooting schedule is gonna be nuts
well maybe I could
cause they're in first position
I mean if you just have her tell a story
the whole thing could work
then the
because then that would be America's horror story
even if she no matter what she did
yeah no matter what
a good suggestion Sean gave was I could franchise it
to like Romania's like romania's horror
story italy's horror story and i go to each country and every single person tell but i could
do the same thing nobody named that yeah yeah there's nobody named italy bosh wants some focus
here yeah what's happening with them it wasn't well i'm still scared about reggie's gas mask
yeah i was terrified it Reggie's mask.
That's a big tease to next week's.
Yeah, it'll be really fun.
Ooh, Reggie.
Reggie? Reggie Jackson? The candy bar guy?
So,
so,
Bosh
has been pretty sassy lately, and I wanted
to talk to you about something that he's been saying.
Yeah.
So maybe just ask him, like, ask him, like, what he's been up to.
Okay.
Well, let me just sort of, like, lead up to it.
Hey, Bosh.
Hey, what's up, hey?
Oh, not too much.
What have you been up to?
Oh, I don't know.
I've been hanging out in the studio listening to your dumb ass.
What do you think, Einstein the genius?
Okay, so it's calling people Einstein the genius.
Yes, which I think...
There's a little bit of an extra flourish.
You could say Einstein, or you could just say genius.
You're doubling it up.
You don't have to.
Oh, thanks for the note. I just added the genius.
Okay, into it again.
Yeah, so to me,
I just think it's unnecessary to do both.
He has really been wanting attention,
so I think he was looking,
as you anticipated,
he's been looking for an opportunity
to get that one off.
Hold on, my wife's calling me.
Yeah, answer it, man.
Hey, you're on Hollywood Handbook Pro version.
Oh, God.
I'm in here with Bang Raj, man.
You know, the actor that portrays him anyway.
Hayes Davenport, Chef Kevin, Engineer Jordan,
and the Bosch man.
You're talking to about 2,000 fans right now.
If that. I'm picking up Bosch.
Yeah, okay. Are you outside?
I'm here. Tell Kev to bring Bosch.
Okay.
I love you.
I love you.
Now, Sean, do you remember what joke that waiter made that Bosh really liked?
Because it wasn't really a joke, but he was talking about it for fucking months.
Do you remember it?
It was something about, you know, that we like cleaned our plate or something.
Yeah, I remember him talking about it.
cleaned our plate or something.
Yeah, I remember him talking about it.
And he told me to quit comedy because this guy's going to take all the comedy jobs.
It was kind of fucking mean,
but it wasn't even a joke.
It was like a kind of generic waitery thing.
Oh, right.
It was like, yeah, yeah,
you guys must have really hated that,
something like that.
Yeah, that's right.
You guys must have really hated it, something like that. Yeah, that's right. You guys must have really hated it.
But we had completely cleaned the plate.
Yeah.
I mean, it was like we had licked the sauce off the plate.
And he goes, you guys must have hated it.
Bosh.
Ah-ha-ha.
Yeah.
Ah-ha-ha.
I thought he had left.
Ah-ha-ha.
Well, I think he heard us from out there.
Aided it.
Yeah, right.
They freaking love this meal.
Do we have...
What time are we at?
Do we have time to do our premise?
Yes, you have time. How much time in the show do we at? Do we have time to do our premise? Yes, you have time.
How much time in the show do we have?
I mean, you have, you're about like 20 minutes.
Oh.
25.
No, the premise is too meaty.
It's too juicy.
Too juicy.
Yeah, of course.
I mean, imagine a series of interstitials.
Yeah, right.
Featuring Psycho Bunny that told the true behind-the-scenes story of the podcast Hollywood Handbook.
And it's a movie.
Do you want to just pitch us the first couple ideas that come to mind?
The first dozen ideas that come to mind about that for you?
Yeah, sure.
Just a dozen or so scenes off the top of your head?
Just a lot.
No, just the first dozen.
Not a couple.
I don't need to hear 48 scenes,
but let's hear the first 12 scenes.
Make it a baker's dozen
if you're having trouble narrowing it down.
Great.
And we have to work in Psycho Bunny,
or does the Psycho Bunny...
We more have to work in our show Bunny, or does the Psycho Bunny character show up?
We more have to work in our show.
Yeah, Hollywood Handbook is kind of a secondary character.
Yeah, the Psycho Bunny has to be the primary feature,
at least in the first few.
And I'm kind of winging it here.
First dozen or so.
I am not that familiar with Psycho Bunny.
Have you seen Donnie Darko?
Yeah.
Doesn't he look like...
Crazy looking, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Maybe we have a kid's birthday party.
Okay.
Okay.
And Psycho Bunny shows up.
And the mom is freaked out.
Sure.
And the mom's like, what are you doing here i didn't hire
a psycho bunny i wanted a funny magician but then all the kids see the psycho bunny
and they're like whoa mom hold up this dude's actually pretty cool and they're having a blast
and then uh one of them's like hey you guys heard this new podcast, Hollywood Handbook?
The kids, they're little.
It would be good if people did think it was new.
Yeah.
I loved it.
This takes place years ago.
Okay.
I'm starting the movie at like when you guys are starting the podcast.
Okay.
I prefer if people think we just started always.
I'd like to bury the lead a little bit.
I don't want...
Because in conversation...
With the size of our fan base,
if we just started, not bad.
And the conversation when people find out
that I do a podcast,
it always goes to like,
how long you've been doing it.
Right.
And I say, five years.
And they're like, oh, wow.
And that's just this one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So actually, if it could be set in the future
and they're just finding out about it
and if the kids are really little.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think that helps because the show could maybe
be for babies. We've lost a few
generations.
We're just kind of like scratching out
different generations
of fan
bases. Okay. Well, okay.
What if it's at a
hospital
and
it's
the maternity ward.
Lots of babies behind that glass.
Yeah.
And the nurse...
There's only one nurse?
Well, yeah, it's late
and there's like
bad stuff going on in the town.
So... bad stuff going on in the town.
There's a lot of bad stuff happening. Okay.
They had to pull all the other nurses.
Yeah, a lot of the...
The hospital's busy in other wings.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right, it's fucked up.
No, I got it.
Okay.
We don't have to get into it,
but shit's fucked up in this town. All it. Okay. We don't have to get into it, but shit's fucked up
in this town. Alright?
We better make it clear
just before you get there.
We should make it clear that Psycho Bunny
is not the one doing the bad stuff in this town.
Oh, well, yes. It's going to be very clear because Psycho
Bunny's showing up. And the nurse
is...
Because Psycho Bunny's trying to...
He's giving blood
Psycho bunny's there giving blood
And figures
Hey I better entertain these kids
And the nurse is like
What the heck are you doing here
You look crazy
And the babies are like
Wait a second this guy's actually pretty cool
Hold up now
Yeah let him stay
And
They all kind of party
With the psycho
So they put on some music
And just dance
The newborn babies are dancing
In the maternity ward
And they're dancing
And I figured it would be a good time to bring Dancing baby back The newborn babies are dancing in the maternity ward. Uh-huh. And they're dancing.
And I figured it'd be a good time to bring Dancing Baby back.
Yes.
The Ally McBeal Dancing Baby.
Of course. That's ready to come back around.
That nostalgia.
It's already been rendered and stuff.
Yeah.
So we got that in there.
So they're all dancing to music
and then maybe somebody goes,
anybody else sick of this music?
Yes.
Honestly, more stimulating to feel like
you're part of a conversation.
To feel like your friends
are all hanging out instead of the more passive
experience of music.
Well, also the babies are like,
anybody else bummed out with all the bad shit that's going on?
Yeah, need an escape.
I could use a freaking laugh.
Something to cheer me up.
Yeah.
Let's throw on this podcast I just heard about.
I think it's new.
Yeah, the baby heard about it.
One thing I wonder, and Hayes,
you should be here to weigh in on this is how are we
going to address the hollywood masterclass controversy in the movie in terms of like if
the movie's about hollywood handbook obviously you're extremely mad about that show existing this dig right how hmm well it was given this setup right yes that the babies are hearing about
hollywood handbook for the first time they think it is a new show
here's what i would be willing to accept okay that they got into hollywood handbook
through hollywood masterclass but now it's kind of like
their comedy bang bang where they don't really listen to hollywood masterclass anymore right now
i thought that was like next level funny stuff yes and now i've realized like what the what the
juice is i can't you know i'm not gonna be like there's no universe obviously where hollywood
masterclass doesn't exist i have to this is where the world that we live in i have to like well yeah
and i want to talk it's uncomfortable but let's talk about i can work that in there but i i
suspect the psycho bunny people aren't going to be crazy about that one uh just because it's pretty focused on the podcast only.
That whole, oh, yeah.
Just that storyline at all. I think we can do it in kind of like an unspoken way
or kind of like we can maybe-
What do you think of this?
It's set at a police station.
Totally empty.
All right?
Cops are all busting their ass.
I mean, this time it's fucked up.
The police are all, like the police station's a ghost town.
And you got one, like, the town drunk.
He's in the drunk tank.
Yeah.
And he's rambling about how Hollywood Masterclass used to be something.
Now he's kind of into fucking Hollywood Handbook,
and that's actually a lot cooler to him now.
We could have him not say it.
If you could just see his phone and the podcast he subscribes to,
and Hollywood Masterclass has an exclamation point next to it
of like, you haven't downloaded this show.
Do you want to continue downloading new episodes
because you haven't listened for six months
or something
anyway the psycho bunny shows up
he's like
got a
he's got a boxer cannon
so instead of t-shirts
at the ball game
this one's full of
friggin' boxer shorts.
And they're probably
same problem, they're probably too friggin'
big like they are at the game.
But still, you can sleep
in them and stuff, and this friggin' town
drunk needs them. I mean, he probably
smells like shit, and I'm sure he's bloody pissed.
Yeah, he soiled his pants.
I mean, it's fucked up, but he probably did.
Yeah.
He's been in here 72 hours.
And the babies all did, too, in the previous scene.
That's true, too.
Yeah.
And they all needed fresh drawers.
They all needed fresh drawers.
They needed Psycho Bunny diapers.
This is innocent.
This is a little darker, but I think people want something a little darker.
But that goes with the Psycho Bunny brand.
And our show, frankly. I mean, it's pretty intense. Oh, yeah, it's a little darker. That goes with the Psycho Bunny brand. And our show, frankly.
It's pretty intense.
Some of the stuff we talk about is really edgy.
How did it go, dropping off?
Box.
Nailed it. Is there a world where America's
horror story is in this too?
Maybe like the drunk
is all, when he's rambling
about it, that's playing in the background.
This whole thing.
It's been weeks.
We don't do any of the old stuff anymore.
It's just America's Horror Story.
I guess he's still a boring guy, but just like it's too specific.
And his pitch starts, though, narrow.
His pitch starts, have you seen American Horror Story?
Yes.
That seems like you're doing yourself a disservice.
You should want to get away from that.
Well, I want you to remember something
that you probably enjoy.
Like, oh yeah, good television, sure.
Oh, what's like good television?
Your thing is there's so many channels now
you really think there's room in the landscape
for both. Yes, absolutely.
That's true.
Have you seen how many channels?
I have a list that updates
of the number of channels.
It's almost doubled in the past six months wow wow it updates it updates when i refresh it and it'll go this many channels wow and let's just give an example 20 okay okay and then become
almost 40 literally almost 40 yeah and that might be exponential. That might just keep...
Yeah, that might be exponential.
That might be exponential.
There's this X-Man named
Enchil and he multiplies things.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you and Sean's wife
talk at all?
Yeah, it was great.
I said she was super funny on the show
and she's like great
take care
no I'm just kidding
you're just kidding
she was very nice
as always
what'd she do
she just
she's coming from yoga
huh
I think so
yeah
I said should I just
leave Bosch
what do you mean
you think so
like she smelled bad
or something
yeah
yeah what
did she smell bad
no she had on a
I gotta know
what I'm coming home to.
If she smells bad,
I gotta know that
before I come home.
Big pit stains?
No.
She had on
athletic clothes.
Can we go back
to the America's
Horror Story thing?
So,
one thing is,
Ben,
obviously you know
that we get paid
for this show,
and so we should pay our guests.
We are going straight from here to a basketball game.
Hayes and I share season tickets.
Hashtag the flagrant ones.
Hashtag the flagrant ones.
And you, you're mad, Kevin.
Good.
Look how mad he is.
Hashtag over it. Stay mad.
So you're...
Wow, there's not
even any available.
So you are
going to be using Hayes'
ticket. He can't use it. I'm going to see
Dear Evan Hansen. Which I've seen already.
Cool.
So we didn't
ask you to pay for the ticket in any way but also you haven't asked us
to pay you for this appearance i wonder if we can call it square and i'm just looking up on
seat geek right now how much a single ticket would cost
so that we can see whether someone anyone owes anybody anything on either side of it.
I can kind of see where this is going.
Okay.
I mean,
I feel like negotiations about pay stuff are better with,
you know,
lawyers and stuff.
Done on air.
Well,
well,
my wife was on the episode already.
She's a lawyer.
Yeah. Maybe we should, I i mean we probably should ask her um yeah well she signed off and you know yeah there's a tacit agreement here did you get the number well so there's no tickets currently
available in our section in the section wow behind priceless and the second in the section behind us so a full
tier up yeah a ticket to today's game would be 112 oh my god wow that's the one behind us
that's a an additional maybe 20 feet up wow okay so you're thinking for this podcast appearance and uh all the ads that become the
movie we're square is kind of what you're saying or i don't i didn't hear him say that one way or
another but i did hear we're all adults he's dancing around it let's not play fucking dumb
guys all right guys dancer he's not play fucking dumb, guys. All right? Guy's dancing.
He's doing the fucking mumbo around the idea.
We all know what he's getting at.
Well, is that what you were saying?
I don't, you know.
The listeners ain't babies yet.
They're going to be in the future.
They still got a couple fucking brain cells dancing around in there.
Yeah, all right.
Okay. Hey, you know, maybe the birthday one?
Uh-huh.
Maybe the birthday one or the hospital one?
I'm willing to throw those in there.
Okay.
But the police precinct one.
The police precinct one.
That's on top.
Cash on top.
Yeah.
You buy him something at the game?
Yeah, like a chicken sandwich or something. Okay, all right you buy him something at the game yeah like a chicken sandwich
or something
okay
alright
one chicken sandwich
at the game
and or
a Wetzel pretzel
sinful cinnamon
alright
yeah yeah
alright you got the cop one
alright
well
this has been
the Hollywood Handbook
pro version
did we not
go
bye
Hollywood Handbook Pro Version. Jordan, did we not go... Bye.
Hollywood Handbook.
The Pro Version.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.