Hollywood Handbook - UNLOCKED: THE CREATOR ECOMONY + A VERY SPECIAL GUEST

Episode Date: December 31, 2024

We’re unlocking two of our favorite Pro Versions from 2024!PRO #314: The Boys review Chef Kevin’s business presentation.PRO #353: Sean tries to convince his wife to listen to the podcast. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Thanks so much. We will be returning with new episodes next week and happy new year. Check out this new sound I've been working on. Let me know when you're ready for it. What kind of, is it like, um, like, like very sudden, like, is it, is it going to be kind of scary or like what? like like very sudden like is it gonna be kind of scary or like yeah yeah it is okay. Oh it's really gonna shake you up and it's gonna be. I'm gonna be quiet for a little bit and then I'm gonna do the sound yeah. I don't really like that kind of stuff. I really thought it's like so

if I'm not ready, you said you tell me when you're ready. I'm not ready. I actually don't fuck with that kind of shit at a okay. It's exactly the kind of thing I don't like. That's exactly the kind of sound I don't like. Ah, wooo-ga! Didn't scare me the second time. It's, to my knowledge, brand new. I'd just been tinkering with different syllables,

you know, vowel sounds, one hard consonant, and I just, I somehow stumbled on it. And it's one of these things where as new as it is, and this is true of great songwriting, of feels ancient, yes? Mm-hmm. That it has existed always, that you did not create so much as summon from the middle of your bones. The two songs that I remember having an argument with my friend in the car about driving to school, that they were old songs, were Beautiful Day by U2.

Yup, that can't be new, it's always been. were Beautiful Day by U2. Yep. And follow. I can't be new, it's always been. And Follow Me by Uncle Cracker. Uncle Cracker. Both of those songs. Uncle Cracker. So perfect that I could not envision a world where they had not always been.

Oh, this just happened. We just figured this out. Oh, this just happened. We just figured this out. No, I'm sorry. We've all known Follow Me since before we heard Follow Me. We couldn't have missed that many chances. Follow Me has always been there. We couldn't have just had the chance at that so many times

and not taken it before now. Songwriting's not new. Yeah, no, that's something that got, it did not get written. It was picked up. Off of the ground where it always was. Follow me is older than the hills. That that's a sound is actually I needed that.

I needed that. I needed that. Oh, we'll go. That I needed that got me up. I had someone tell me I will go. Oh, I needed that. I've been I've been slipping a little bit. I just kind of been sitting around eating bear claws. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just sucking down bear claws. You know why they call them bear claws? No, actually I don't. I have a guess. Okay. Do you want to hear my guess first? Yes, yes, yes, go ahead. You might be right.

Well, Okay, you want to hear my guess? Yes. Yes. Go ahead. You might be right well So everyone is familiar obviously with Santa Claus. Yes. Yeah But where he this is wrong. I just want to oh you can finish your guess but There's no way to get from oh Thank you that I can finish. It's just a matter. It's just how you want to use your time because this is not like my time here on earth. Yeah. Yes. How you want to spend or what am I a

lot of certain amount of time on this your precious little time? It's just like this is your this is your time, your part of the episode and then I will have all of my time. So we are like, this is your time, you're part of the episode and then I will have all of my time. We only have so much time. Believe me, I know. Sand in the hourglass, eh? Well, I don't need to finish my guess.

It's because when I- Santa, in my mind, has a secret family, right? And that with his he's a. I want to be clear first. And this and you can tell me if I'm getting closer to as I go through this, I do not in any way condone. Or celebrate. I'm getting closer to as I go through this. I do not in any way condone or celebrate bestiality.

That is not something, that is something I think is I would not say criminalized for a reason that is not good. The animal cannot consent. Santa is not a human being. Cause they don't deserve pleasure. Animals don't deserve pleasure. Animals Santa is not not no, not not that level. So we can't let them.

We can't let them know about that. I've told you before about the guy who used to cut my hair in New York, this guy, Danny, and that he was telling me about a woman that he was seeing, asking him to make love to her. Uh-huh. And he said, hold up, hold up, I had to say, I had to say,

slow down, no. I will have sex with you, but make love? No, no. No way I'm gonna give her that much pleasure. Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! She can't know about that either.

Well, as soon as they know about that, they go crazy. Well, that was his stance, was that if he did accept the request, then she, it would be not fair to her because she would then be incurably addicted to what the dick did. And that he would not necessarily be able to follow through on that because it just was not the status of the relationship so it's like which is actually very nice him he did have sex oh yeah sure but that level of pressure making love so anyway that that he would He would be playing like pretty mainstream hip hop songs, but going like as if they were the most extreme underground stuff, he'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, did you hear that?

Like, and then just like back it up and play part of it again. And then one in particular was, it was a diss track. And he was like, and he got like right in my ear at the end of whatever the verse was of like, you know, Jay-Z, you know, talking to Memphis Bleak or something, just like something that was so popular. And then he just went like, he ate his beans. He ate his beans. So my thought is Santa is not a human, a mortal man.

Santa is a supernatural being. And therefore were he to commune physically with a polar bear, they do live in the North pole, it would not necessarily be. Immoral. Um, because he's, he's essentially a, uh, a, a, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh And that that's one of their youngest is named bear. That's the youngest one. Yeah. There's a soul series before that where the bear went, can I finally name one? You've been doing an awful lot of the naming Nick.

My barber Manny was really thought of himself as being part of my like sexual education. Yeah. When I was like in college, he'd always ask me like, so what's like to tell me about it was really like he wanted me to tell him about different girls. And he was always so, so explosively horny for Sarah Palin. He got really, really invested in the 2008 election. He got really like politically involved because he was so horny about it and like wanted to, It was very practical.

He was just like that on my just wander. Yes, I just need to do this in the twenty four hour cycle for as long as possible. So it's tough to argue with the distant terms here. No, I I how like these jobs affect you like affect your life, he actually had it figured out, I think, more than most people do. It's true, with no explicit political leaning up to that point, going like,

well, what really happens to me based on who gets elected president? Yes, and there's in a global sense, there are these policies that in some ways, maybe trickle back into my lived experience in ways that I can probably never really detect or draw the line to. But what I know happens for sure is like sometimes on TV or on the front of the newspaper, I'm seeing this person and this is very easy for me now because that I know will happen He died not too long after

Yes of a broken heart No, no, they call him for bear claws cuz when I get bare after after I eat them The claws come out Meanness nasty comments That's to being rude. Oh, no. Body. Rare body joke.

Oh, no. Hazel. That's why they call them bear claws. Claws come out. Can't blame them. There's a lot to a lot to comment on. After I eat them. So that's why they're called bear.

That's why they're called bear. So my Santa's guess was pretty far away. I'll admit, but among the characteristics that you listed for yourself was body jokes. Santa having sex with a polar bear. Couldn't be part of some body joke. Yeah. That's pretty body. It was a famous story about the hunter. Yes. Going to the woods. Kevin, you know about this joke?

Enlighten me. The hunter goes into the woods and he loads up his gun and he sees the bear and he takes aim and thinks he has the perfect shot and he fires and somehow he has missed the bear. And the bear taps him on the shoulder, he's behind him. And he says to the hunter, good sir, you have missed me.

But I will offer you a deal. A proviso. What's a proviso? I think it's a, yeah, it's a condition in a deal, I think. Okay. And so there's a proviso. I'll give you a deal with one proviso. With one proviso.

So he says, I will not harm you, but you must allow me to make love to you. And once I've finished having sex with you, the hunter, you can come back and try again tomorrow to shoot me. And the hunter, not wanting to die, of course, accepts the proviso, and they engage

and know each other carnally. And the hunter goes home and plans, now he really must shoot the bear. And so he loads and he practices, he goes to the firing range and he prepares himself again. And he goes back into the woods to the same spot and he sees the bear. And this time he waits

until he's so close, so close he cannot possibly miss and he fires and when the smoke from the great shot has cleared, he looks to see what he is sure will be the bear's carcass and yet there is nothing and tap, tap, tap on the shoulder. Once again, the same proviso is presented. Well. This time, yeah, he has to eat him out of this time. The hunter accepts once again. And when they have finished knowing one another carnally,

the hunter returns home. And now he must do everything in his power. Greater, more powerful weapons, more advanced tactical training. He sets traps, he has grenades, he has everything at his disposal. He sells out entirely. And he goes back with his bazooka

and he gets behind the tree, and he unleashes everything. He unleashes modern hell with all of his various weaponry. And the tap on the shoulder comes, and the bear says to him, And the tap on the shoulder comes and the bear says to him, you're not really here for the hunting, are you pal? He's missing on purpose. He thinks he likes it.

The bear's saying, hey, if you don't like it, like, come on, man. He brought all that stuff at the end. You can't get it done with that stuff. You're not really here for the hunting necessarily. There's something, it meant that perhaps he wasn't even admitting to himself. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So that, you know, but that's a body joke, yes, that actually lives sort of in the world of the bear claws, Santalaws theory that I presented. And so, you know, sometimes we feel like we're so far apart and we find these reasons to put up these walls. Oh, that guess is ice cold.

And I've done it again. I've gone and done oppositional defiance again. Well, and I didn't want to put that label on it because I knew that sensitive about it. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

But I think it's a fair description of what happened. Never would. I would like to, yeah, go ahead. Come my mans. Are you getting so cited? I would like to yeah, go ahead come my man's Are you getting so cited? Kevin you get so excited Are you big days coming up? Really anxious, huh? I'm getting so anxious

Mostly because I've recently learned my future mother-in-law has been telling people there's a mandatory dress code of 1920s flappers. That's interesting because I don't recall there being a mandatory dress code of 1920s flappers, but alas, here we are. Now, correct me, the flapper is a style of dress that is primarily the women folk are flappers. Mm hmm. I have to wear that as well.

What about men's? No, the men's garb is zoot suits. Dun dun dun dun dun. Zoot suit. Zooby dooby dooby dooby dooby dooby doop. Zuby doobie doobie doobie doobie doobie doopie doopie doop. Well, your mother-in-law better be careful lest she end up on the wrong side of my chain wallet. Kevin, okay, let's teach you a few moves

that you're gonna need to know. One is when you shake your finger in the air when you're dancing. Finger there. You shake the one finger. Bip, beep, beep, beep. Here, get up and stand back a little bit we can see you dance There's the day when you dance you kind of kick your legs up behind you back and forth and you wave your index finger

But behind you and off to the side a little bit you're not jumping. It's like a little kick. Yeah, and the finger up there The fingers up high. Yeah, you forgot the feet you have to do both Now and the finger up there, the fingers up higher. Yeah, you forgot the feet. You have to do both now. OK, that's pretty good. Now you put your hands on both knees. And what you do is you switch your knee, you your knees, your knee that's on the one leg, you take it and you exchange it with the other knee.

Smooth motion, you move your knees together and then you swap knee caps. You switch knees. With your hands, you take one off onto the other. Yes, that's, he's doing it. He's doing it. Yes, he's doing it. Let me teach you. So I'm just gonna quickly say this, Kevin, and this is so fundamental.

Step, step, rock, step. Step, step, rock, step. That's a lie. Left, right, back, then left, left, right, back, then left. Now spin. Okay. Get that arm up, swap positions, spin her around, put her on upside down. You've got it going.

That's swing dance. Don't forget. There's a chain on your pants. And so this, this is actually going to make your wedding bearable for me. That's good. I need that because I've been very distracted about a big presentation I have this weekend. I haven't been able to spend any time dancing because I've been rehearsing for my big speech. Speech for your wedding? No. Business speech. I was wondering if I could practice it for you guys. I was wondering if I could practice it for you guys.

I was thinking about the most fascinating thing over the weekend. Isn't it interesting that nine in 10 kids say when they grow up, they want to be YouTube? I'm sorry, but when I was a kid, we used to say things like doctor and nurse. Kids today say doctor disrespect and nurse Jackie. So what does that mean? Well, it's pretty simple. The creator of comedy is massively blowing up. Demand is in a stratmosphere right now. No, really think about it. More content is being uploaded every day, every week, every year, more than ever than before. And if we don't capitalize on this, we're fish in the water.

So today I give you my presentation on three life and death advice to make in this crazy crater of comedy. Rule number one, don't ask for permission. Demand for permission. It's quite hilarious when you think about it. In today's global space, the chips are in your hand, but the cards are in mine.

Now you're probably thinking right now, Kevin, what gives you the right to be so wrong? Well, unlike our alleged leaders in this country, I like to roll up my sleeves and get dirty in the hand. Pretty surprising, no? Well, let me tell you a little story. Everybody who knows me knows I got my start in music videos. I have one job, take the lens cap off a camera. I asked the director on day one, can I be the director?

Can I do the choreography? The director yells, cut. He looks over at me, roll his eye and pointed to camera. I left the damn lens cap on. He leaned real close and whispered in my ear, maximize before you diversifies. Oh, from that moment on, I never ask another question again, which leads me to rule number two. What's the most fascinating thing in the world? No, really think about it. It's this. Your values are your value, but when revenue rules all, E-value ate everything. My manager says I said the craziest thing

happened to me earlier this year. We're at Topgolf, hitting dingers like a damn label went off. Now me, normally I'm a pool shark, but there's something about golf that just get me. I guess at the end of the day, they're both silly little game with a wooden stick and tiny ball. Now my manager says to me, do you remember when you were a little boy and you asked my wife, mommy, why is traditional media dead? My dad's my manager. Switching to my 9 iron, I laugh as he recount this tale. I've always been diagnosed with curious mind. My mother responded, sometimes the corpse is thicker than the grave. I know exactly what she meant. If I'm not constantly changing who I am to adopt, I might as well be fish in the water.

The manager of Chop Golf walked up and said, boys, that's enough. You hit all the balls. I put my iron back in my bag. I knew there was a problem with my short game. Jokingly. Well, I'm getting the light. So I'll wrap up with rule number three.

Don't be a business model. Be a business hyphen model. I've actually been wanting to have his conversation for a long time. You may disagree with me, but at the end of the day, at least nine and 10 adults crank it once. Not everything has to be about sex, but sex has to be about everything.

I hate to be crash, but you can't spell creator comedy without cum money. Crazy, no? Now I won't give you tips of do's and don'ts, but if you rewatch all my videos, it's pretty obvious what are the do's and who are the don'ts. That's my time. Enjoy yours while you still have it. What do we think? I spent the whole time. I don't know why this is this is this would be very sad, but I was thinking.

It would just be so crazy if Kevin got divorced. So weird, it'd be like an 11 year old getting divorced. Yeah, that's fucked up, man. That's so bad to think about. I don't know what to do. Yeah, because whatever would have had to happen for that to take place, you just like, the rest of the picture is pretty grim. Yeah, that would make me really sad.

Cause 11-year- old getting married is cute. Yeah, that's very cute. It's very funny. It's very cute. Yeah, 11 year old getting formally divorced is like really bad. I think at the beginning I was like, okay, kind of funny.

Then through the middle, so, you know, towards the end of slide two, I was just totally done with it. Yeah. Just a really powerful lesson that it ended up, it ended up getting me back in all the way in. I think it's a really good presentation. I think things like iron iron and chop golf. Yeah.

It was a really excellent presentation. There's something to be learned here with this between this presentation and where the potty at and it yeah and it has to do with length diminishing returns. turns. I think any time you are working on something and your instinct is to or you come to the point where to move forward on it. You have to call someone on the phone or even send them a text. Just communicate at all. You need to stop and cancel the project.

Take a step back, it's time to listen. Yeah, I think that's a really great lesson because this, I think about this, which I experienced all of, and I think about where the potty at, which I only sort of checked out. Yes. I ended up staying with this much longer

than I did where the potty at. I finished the entire thing. Interesting. I know it's the the visuals were really nice you had an image from watch mojo the shooting service crop the whole thing so it was kind of hard to tell what it was because there weren't that many of the letters in there. But even so. And Jake Paul, PewDiePie, of course, and Ed Sheeran.

Yeah. Kind of the three faces of the creator economy. The creator economy is exploding. Let's talk about, as we talk about the economy. Wait, before we talk about the economy. Let's talk about that. Before we move all the way along. No, go ahead, go ahead.

You were hitting dingers like a label went off. I was hitting dingers like a damn label went off. Yeah, what does that mean actually? Nothing but hits. Oh, a label, okay. A label, yeah. You were hitting dingers like a damn label went off. Okay.

Not you're- He was at Topgolf. Not you were like- A damn label went off. Not you were like banging out hits like a label went off. You were hitting dingers like a damn label went off. Yeah, he was hitting dingers and the dingers were nothing but hits.

That's good. Thank you for asking, because I also was confused, and now I realize it's even better than I thought. So it's good to dig in on some of that stuff. Ads. One of our ads got canceled. Well, this is what I wanted to say.

So one of the ads got canceled. That's supposed to make me feel badder than they did it for everybody. Yeah. What do you mean they did it for everybody, why? My phone, three o'clock, text message from this host, text message from that host. Goodbye, Fresh?

I got text to Anya. Hey, just checking in, what's going on? Moving things around. Into the trash. We're just moving a few things around into the trash. You know what you can tell them? Tell them this. I'm bitter. We're just moving a few things around into the trash. You know what you can tell them? Tell them this. I'm back in on Blue Apron.

I'm doing it, I'm using it. When we had the coupon, when we read the old ads, confession time, a lot of that was fake. That's why I made Chef Kevin talk about it. I wasn't doing it and when I had done it, I wasn't crazy about it. I thought the prep time took longer than they were saying. I didn't love the food when they took a big swing

at like certain more adventurous cuisines. I thought they just didn't really have it figured out yet. It's really good. I'm back in, we're doing it twice a week, I'm enjoying it. It feels simpler, it feels like all their stuff is more accurate and their recipes taste better. And so you tell HelloFresh, you tell them goodbye, Fresh, and tell Blue Apron, hello, Apron.

And I'll say this too, hey, did you see that I tried to have a little fun with our advertising guy today? Yes. He asked us if he, so we've been approved and spoiler, you know, and you guys stop listening now if you don't want to get spoiled. We've been approved for Claritin, the allergy pill company. And he asked if anyone in my household suffered

from seasonal allergies and whether we would, and he said, you will be required to give a personal endorsement for this. So I have to know you really used it. And I told him to tell the company that if they wanted to send me a Claritin D, that I would ingest it live on cam. I'd be willing to do that and to like stream the results as it happened. I'll let you put the camera up my fucking nose, dude.

We can really see what's good because I do have allergies and I do use that stuff sometimes. This is a gigantic fish on the line for us by revenue. I would say this is our biggest advertiser by maybe one hundred million times. Yeah, Bayer absolutely your pharmaceuticals. I was in a print ad for them years ago. You know about that, that I'm a model? Ooh.

I am an actual fucking model. Can you show what you did? What I can tell you. You did whatever pose and face you did? I will be totally genuine. I don't 100% remember exactly what the pose was. I know it was the kind of thing that would be like on a subway car and that whatever their product was

that was helping me manage my diabetes had me feeling so fucking confident and good that there was like a real strut, even though I was holding still, there was this kind of fucking swagger and strut to me. Like I was just owning the whole fucking street with my moves. And I, and I was like, the photo is a still photo, but there was movement in it because this product they had some kind of monitor or something maybe that I was using to know what my like glucose

levels were or something, but this thing they had that Bear made for me, ooh mama did it have me feeling good. I was probably about to know someone carnally in that pit. You're on your way. Check the glucose monitor. Ooh, sugar's right. Ooh, or no, oh, no, I need a little more sugar. Mm-hmm, yeah. Something sweet.

Did they play music on, on set? During, when I was taking the picture? Yeah, just to like get you in the right mindset. Nah. That's all up here. The music is all up here. You played music? Oh, there was music playing. You bet there by leave it.

It was fucking rocking and a rolling. Oh, we get it almost every night. Oh, when that moon gets big and bright, it's supernatural to life. Everybody's dancing in the moonlight. Dancing in the moonlight, dancing in the moonlight. I got to add that to the playlist. Bye.

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It was awesome. Everyone in the family is sending them pictures except me because I sent them pictures but they weren't showing up in the frame. I was I tried over and over and I was like What's going on? and my grampies was like Well, you should check maybe it has a fugs filter on it And I was really upset that my grampies said that And it was actually the worst of both worlds because I thought

He was he was messing with me And then I went to check and it actually does some of them do come with a fugs filter at this one actually did And also he was messing with me. He didn't even know about the fugs filter. He was just saying that I was fugs so anyway It's a great great gift the fugs filter. He was just saying that I was fugs. So anyway, it's a great, great gift. Family members love it. And you can even upload a video message to play on the frame as soon as they plug it in. So the first thing they hear is your voice and how much you love them great easy way to win the

holidays. Save on the perfect gift by visiting our frames.com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Mat Frames by using promo code THEBOYS at checkout. That's AuraFrames.com, promo code THEBOYS. Deal is exclusive to listeners. You'll get yours now and time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply. Hollywood handbook. Hi. Hi, Grace. So I'm recording. So we don't have Hayes. So what I'm going to do is, obviously I'm in my office.

I'm going to send you a Zoom link. Kevin and I will prep while you hopefully come and join. You can join from your computer. You don't have to have your camera on. I know you don't want to be on camera. Kevin and I will prep while you hopefully come and join. You can join from your computer. You don't have to have your camera on. I know you don't want to be on camera. Okay.

And we're gonna sort of try to strategize a way to kind of approach. I know you don't listen to the show Hollywood Handbook. You don't like what you have heard sort of involuntarily, but we're gonna try to see if we can kind of get you on board. like what you have heard sort of involuntarily, but we're gonna try to see if we can kind of get you on board. Okay, you're sending me a link? Yeah, Kevin's gonna send you, or I'll send you a Zoom link.

I'll just text it to you right now. Okay. All right, see you soon. Bye. So far so good. Yeah, no, this is going way better than I thought. So we can't, it's a tricky situation because we can't really pitch her

what the show actually is. Yeah. Because she's not gonna like it. No. You know what I mean? Like she's correct in not listening to it. Yeah. But I'd love to get the numbers up. Me too.

Especially a sort of a power listener like this, because she's kind of known for like her recommendations and things like this. Good taste. Yeah. Yeah. And so any version of her listening, even if it's temporary, or even if she starts pretending to listen. Yeah. Like if she could feel that kind of social pressure.

You know when someone asks, like, have you like seen this movie or whatever, and you either go like, oh, it's on my list. Or you go like, yeah, I saw, I started it. You know, something like that. I've heard of it. Yeah. Like you don't want to be out. Like, yeah.

Even if I could get her to say, I heard of it, like, that's such a great that's a huge example. I know that would be huge for us. Maybe there's some other shows we could kind of pretend to be or like popular styles right now Well, and here's another thing like the show is fluid. Yeah, I actually think that we could adjust to What she wishes it was I we're not asking her to hear the whole back catalog. Is she in the waiting room? She's in the waiting room. Shall I let her in?

Let her in. Okay Grace is connecting to audio. This is exciting. Hi, can you hear me? Hi. Hi, Grace. Hi, Kev. I can hear you.

Grace, Kevin probably needs you to record like a voice memo on your phone or something. Is that right, Kevin? I could use the backup of just her audio. So you don't have to, Grace. Whatever you want. Not the kind of treatment I get. Yeah, don't have to, Grace. Whatever you want. Not the kind of treatment I get. Yeah, I mean, if you want to do it.

Whatever you want, or fluid, Grace, whatever's cool to you as the show. Yeah, the show's flexible. I was just talking about that, that the show doesn't have one way that it has to be. That's one of the cool things, I think. So, Grace, do you want, and you want zero visual record of you being here?

Do you want to say hi and then go off video or you just don't want to be it? And it's fine. We probably find it. You could probably send us a photo of you that you like, and that can be your zoom square. I just don't know. Like what is in. Okay.

Wait, hold on. Oh, you left in the room. You left the chair. You got some kind of porno stuff in there. You left the chair chair You got some kind of porno stuff in there. You left your chair in here. Yes, I left my chair in there. Sean's chair. Everybody guilty.

I'm the sloppy husband. Okay, wait here, does this work? We had a meeting today. Whoa, cool. Hey. Hi. Hey, babe. Oh.

You don't have to stay out. Grace, go back on. We just thought you wanna come on and say hi. Okay, hi. I'm going back off. So, now we have a sense, right? We have a sense of place. We got the vibe.

So, Grace, if you could just give us a little bit of guidance, like in terms of, uh, you know, I was saying to Kevin, of course, what I'd love to do is get into a little of the meat of the idea. So what, so, um, you know, uh, are you talking to the dog? You're talking to me. I can hear you talking. One second.

Honey's barking. I can hear you talking. One second honey, it's working. So, this is honestly going better than I thought. If I could just say. That's our best pro version. No, I'm here now. I'm here, I'm here.

We don't have Hayes right now. I'll say something, Grace, which is sometimes, Hayes and I have talked about how our wives do listen to podcasts and it's not our podcast. And then Hayes said, does she listen to any comedian, friends of yours? And I said, well, she will listen to Gabris when he has his wife on, I wonder if that's a hint.

So I think I probably said that within the month. And then tonight, of course, we have no haze. Yeah. And damned if my little helper didn't perk up and say, well, if you need someone. Yeah. That's cold. Is that, I'm sorry, am I your little helper

or is Kevin your little helper? I can't. I can't have two little helpers. Okay, no, you can. But what I wanna kind of dig into here, because we want you to listen to the show and we actually want it to be a positive experience for you. Like, we're not trying to like make you endure the show.

If you could give me an idea of what you think the show is, and possibly what is so abhorrent to you about it at this point. abhorrent to you about it at this point. And then maybe we can sort of start going through a little bit of the show, you can stop us, and we can kind of tell you like how we could adjust it to make it something that would be interesting to you because I was telling Kevin before that you are something of a taste maker, that you're kind of known

for having like good recommendations. You really champion things that you are something of a tastemaker, that you're kind of known for having good recommendations. You really champion things that you like. If there's a show that you're watching, if there's a show that I'm watching that I just think is okay, I will hear you in conversation with people we hardly know going, Sean loves that.

Yeah, I do that. So I know that you are a really strong advocate for things you enjoy and we wanna make this one of those things. You know, I think now it's like, it's almost like too late. Like the catalog is too big, you know? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, but this is what I'm saying.

Like we're not asking you to go back to the beginning cause we don't, you know, that's great. I love that there's people who like what we've been doing No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can delete like 500 episodes right now, if that would help. Kevin can erase those because I don't want you to feel any kind of pressure, but like anybody that we could get to jump on now moving forward and could, I would happily pretend that this is the first episode of this show. Yeah. Maybe you could give me a list of like five episodes to try. You want me to give you one to try? Well, have you had, you, have you had anyone recommend the show to you?

Yeah. Paul Sims recommended the show to me like two days ago. Holy shit. That's a fucking power player in the industry. And then Emma Silvers texted me another like a Or she texted me about it like yesterday and I said I'm I I can't break my streak of never having listened to enough We had a comment today Kevin you probably saw this there's a comment online

About our live show that went up with the dropout folks and it said the comment that I always love to hear best episode these guys have done in a very, very long time. And by the way, I, I thought it was a good episode, but it wasn't like so incredible water in the desert. Yeah. Sean, wasn't like so incredible. Water in the desert. Yeah. Sean, Sean, Sean, a serious question. Yeah. Okay, I'm me, I'm me, everything about you,

but I'm a huge Hollywood handbook fan. Like, I don't think you want that. Well, clearly not. But like, what do you, what do you think that is about me? Grace, we do want to tell people like, how did it come up the other day? We were on a walk. I remember where we were and you said something. It was like a, you were teasing me as you do,

like a, you know, if we walk into a restaurant and you go like, do you think anyone in here recognizes you? Like, do you think anyone here follows, you know, follows you on Twitter or something? How many handbook heads are in here? How many handbook heads? But it was like, the joke was like, what if so and so, someone that we saw or knew like,

oh, can you imagine if they recognized you from Snapplecap facts? So of course a video, no one even I think who listens to handbook will know. But it's an old sketch video. But you remember what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know where we were too. We were by that house that has that weird like basement. I've never been in that basement. No, I would never been in it. But there's like that's your fucking boyfriend's house. That's what Bosch said.

That's what Bosch where our dog well, where we're on a walk does like there'll be a specific house that he just starts trying to run up the stairs of. Like every time we're on the walk, like we walked by eight similar staircases, but he goes up. And so I always say that that's like where Grace is having her. And I bring Bosh with me. She goes on these long, like, you know, 90 minute walks by herself. Yeah. She just walks him a couple of blocks down,

hangs out, you know, gets her kicks. But you were saying, and of course, Snapple Facts for Context is a video sketch that I made from like 2007, directed by Will Hines for UCB Comedy. And you mentioned that as like, imagine they know you from Snapple Facts or something. And then I said to you, is that your favorite thing I've ever done?

Like that's your favorite piece of content or like comedy I've ever made. And with no, you were like, yeah. Yeah, no, but there was, but I don't think- Well before we met, like just- Yeah, I mean, I didn't like- Nothing I've done in the nine years we've been married. I didn't know it before we met. You showed it to me.

Yes, of course I made you watch it. Yeah. I'm proud. I just want to be clear on that. That it wasn't like... No, I know, but. But it's just like you did say it was it was your favorite thing. Basically, I've ever been involved in.

Yeah, there was another thing that's so that's a long. Oh, it was that it was this. Yeah, we were talking about that and the the commercial that you're in, the car commercial. Yes, which also was before we met, the Iron Man 2 LG Ally commercial for people who wanna search it. Commercial stars, me.

And then the two of the other people in the commercial are Lamorne Morris and Kyle Mooney. Yeah. Nice. So I've been, so I did three cell phone commercials. Yeah. One of them, the costar was Ben Schwartz. Yeah. Nice. So I've been, so I did three cell phone commercials. One of them, the costar was Ben Schwartz. One of them, the costars were Lamorne Morris and Kyle Mooney. And one of them, the costar was this guy named John Boyd, who is now like the second lead

on the CBS procedural FBI that's been on for like eight seasons. So a lot of very established actors have had to watch me do a cell phone commercial and then sort of, I guess, learned what not to do and gone on to great success. Yeah. But we do want you in on the show. So you're saying people recommend it to you and you don't want to break your, it's like a point of pride that you don't listen.

But what is it that you think? Yeah. I can't, I can't be responsible for the full catalog. No one's asking you to be responsible. How many times have I said you don't have to be responsible for the catalog? No, how many times have I said you don't have to be responsible for the catalog? I know, but like if it's like, if people say to me like, oh, do you listen to Hollywood Handbook? And then I go, no, that's it. If I say, oh, you're afraid of having to talk about it. I can't. Yeah, I can't engage. First of all, yeah, no, I don't.

Okay. I think it's better. Is there a kind of podcast I could do that you would like and listen to? Did you listen to subtitles on when I did it? Yeah, I did. I did listen to subtitles on. Okay.

But partially because you had my friends on that. That's true. But like, do you think I would like you more if I listened to Hollywood handbook or less? I think this is the same reason Leah stopped listening. Okay. Yeah. It's that's a really good question.

The thing is you would like me less, but I don't think that one who listens to the Hollywood handbook would like me less. I know, but you would like me less because you would not enjoy it. So how do I, how do I help you? Yeah. Do you want to hear the theme song? We never played the theme song. Do you want to just hear it? Well, you know, it's so funny is that Annalise wrote the theme song, my friend. I know, another friend of yours.

And then apparently you had an episode talking about how you were gonna replace her theme song. Well, yes, this is the one that Paul told you to listen to. Yeah. Which is funny, he was very positive about this episode and he told me that he listened to it twice. And then we've been getting better on the clips. The clips have been getting better. Do you watch the clips, Grace, when they come across?

Do they show up on your Instagram or anything? Yeah, but you show them to me. So, but I, you know, I do sometimes I do. Sometimes I think to myself when they come, because sometimes they do come up on my TikTok and I go, I should watch this to help them. But then I don't want it in my algorithm.

Like, not because I like I just catch 22. You know, like I think like, oh, I should give them the light. Yes, you absolutely should do that. I know, but like I see I just I see them because you show them. That's actually that's actually. No, I do it though. I do it.

No, I do it. I have a question, actually. I've actually never asked you this. So sometimes we'll be like sitting on the couch looking at TikTok and like you can probably hear what I'm watching because I listen to my phone louder than you. Yeah. Do you ever hear me skip a Hollywood handbook

to just talk? I don't think so. I know my voice anywhere. Okay, because like I've done it in front of you and then I get like really nervous about it. I'm like, oh, I should go back. No, I'm working so hard to not hear what's going on. It'll be the same song clip 45 times in a row.

Yeah, but I'm not- Just like different people doing the same, like whatever trend. And then it'll be like some idiot talking, not me, one that you do listen to. But like, I don't really get that. That's like, that's not, I don't really, not really. Okay.

Well, uh, that's interesting. I do think that you should watch it. I don't think we would wreck your algorithm. I really don't, but I don't think you would wreck it, but. Skip the, what are you afraid of? You're going to see Andrew Santino on there? No, I don't think you would wreck it, but. Just skip the, what are you afraid of? You're going to see Andrew Santino on there? No, I don't think it would. Why would watching your podcast bring me to Andrew Santino?

I don't know because he's, because he's another comedic figure who talks out a microphone. Do you think that's a pretty big jump, Chris? You don't know. I mean, you think you think I'm giving myself too much credit thinking that listening to my show is like anywhere in the realm the Venn diagram of like, see a Tino fan. No, you know, where we get John Bernthal. of that, the Venn diagram of like Cienfino fans.

No, you know who I rarely get? John Bernthal. Oh yeah. He's the realest motherfucker on TikTok. He has a podcast. He has a podcast and it's called Real Ones, right? I think it's called Real Ones. And with the guys he's talking to, man,

no one nods harder than John Bernthal. He's listening to someone lay it down. I think that's our issue, Sean. You need to get closer to the camera. Like your head needs to be a lot closer. Yeah, and that face too, a lot more intense. And I need to be like breaking it down. I have to zoom in way more on the camera.

Brother, that's real. He says that. Even a guy like me could do D&D. We'll see. Kevin, here's the thing. I was so angry. But man, I was only hurting myself. All that anger was like me drinking poison. That biker put his hand on my shoulder and he said to me,

doesn't have to be this way, kid. I never got to say thank you to him. He exploded. It's like powerful stories, powerful stories that I think all happened. Mm hmm. Grace, have you listened to more episodes of Hollywood Handbook or maybe don't? I have not listened to any episodes of either of them.

OK. What's maybe don't. OK, so we're on it even. So you like me and Kevin the same. What terms of the content we create? Well, what's maybe don't? Okay, so we're on it even so you like me and Kevin the same What terms of the content we create? Well, what's maybe don't? Okay, so I have that up on you That was a podcast. I did no I'll go. Yeah It's your question no, oh they they change the name to definitely don't Oh, they, they changed the name to definitely don't. It was Kevin and you song.

Yeah. And like 2018, 19. I never watched. I never heard. I didn't know about that one. Yeah. We didn't have clips. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, the clips, the clips are fire lately. I do think you should watch them. Shout out to that. I have, I have shown you some, sometimes. Yeah. Not. I do think you should watch them. Shout out to that. I have shown you some sometimes. Yeah. Not as many as I've had to watch. Of me? But what I but I know.

Well, yeah, but that's that's the difference. Grace. You're a damn clip show all day long. I don't know what that means. What other podcasts pop up on your algorithm? Oh, New Heights. Oh, yeah. Trav, what are you doing?

Are you doing, is Giggly Squad in the algorithm? Well, but Giggly Squad doesn't really- Trash Tuesday? Oh, sometimes Trash Tuesday comes on my, yeah. Sometimes they do. I get them sometimes. Me too. Yeah. They've got it wired, man.

Oh, you know what comes on my algorithm a lot, which I actually think is really funny. Best friends. Is that what this is called? It's Nicole Byer and her friend. Yeah. And Sashir. Yeah.

Very charming. They're very funny. Good. It's, it's feels, that feels close to what we're doing in a way. Best friends and bad friends. Somewhere in the middle. Yeah. But they're being like, they're being,

they aren't, they're themselves, right? Yeah. Yeah. No, they are, they are themselves. Yeah. But what if there was someone who was like themselves, but then also something worse. And they were going in and out of it. And it wasn't ever clear when it would start or stop

and why. Like couldn't that be a show? But anyway, the theme song one, to say it, we made that episode, which was never really, tell Annalise we were never really gonna change the theme. So. I didn't even tell her that, I didn't even tell her that.

It was actually just a funny idea. And it was a way into like, maybe we'll do some music stuff, which I always like, I always kind of wanna do it. And I like it. You guys were good at it. And as evidenced by the, I don't think so. As evidenced by the clips afterwards, like the clips came out and it was us kind

of try to make up these songs and, and I, I liked the clips and I was like, I can't, I can't approve any of these. Like they're all are making me feel ashamed. Like they're all making me very embarrassed by the show in a way that. Even sometimes doing like an episode, I don't think is very good. they're all making me very embarrassed by the show in a way that even sometimes doing like an episode I don't think is very good does it it was just like a little too raw very naked yeah I think the show I think the episode probably is benefits from in between them we unpack what worked and didn't yeah but you

might yeah I mean you wouldn't like it. Paul told you to listen to it, but I think he was wrong. That wasn't one to start with. Is there anything, Grace, while you're on here, that you would like the Hollywood Handbook listening audience to know about me or that you think they would like to know? about me or that you think they would like to know?

Gosh, I don't know. Do they want to know anything about you? Probably not. Probably not anything you'd want to say anyway. How can I embarrass you? Come on, Kevin, edit whatever she says out. Now that I know this is the goal. No, no, no. I thought it might be something interesting or.

Something interesting? God forbid endearing. I don't know, I'd have to think, I need more time. These people put food on our table. What? These people put food on our table, these listeners. Oh, you like. The parasocial relationship they have with me.

It's kind of turning into appetizers. It's snacks. It's putting clothing on our children's back. Yeah. It's not food on the table. It's like a girl lunch. They're putting girl lunch on the table. That's a thing Sean loves, girl lunch.

Me too. I do eat girl lunch. I talked about my girl lunch. Hayes really attacked me about my girl lunch because he didn't think that Granny Smith Apple was the appropriate choice to have with slices of sharp cheddar and rye crackers. I did.

And then there was a big discussion, Grace, that you would have hated last week. And I fucking stood up for my queen in this episode, it was on the flagrant ones and both Hayes and Carl said that there was no use case for Swiss cheese. No what for Swiss cheese? That there was no scenario in which Swiss cheese

would be like their choice basically. They said miss me with the Swiss me. They said miss me with the Swiss me, yeah. Yeah, well, they're obviously in line with my enemies at Subway who discontinued Swiss cheese. Well, this is interesting. Somebody dug up the receipts and said, oh, really Hayes, there's no use for Swiss cheese.

And he said, what about when you did the Doughboy's Subway three episode or whatever, probably 17, I don't know why it's a three. Four years ago and I guess he did get Swiss on his sub. Oh my God, see, there you go. Yeah. We put Swiss on, we put- We live in the age of the indelible.

I mean, so much of our lives is just, is recorded for public consumption and it's the age of the indelible, the internet lives forever. Yeah, which is why I don't want to be on it. Sure, yeah. I just totally disagree about Swiss cheese, but I'll take that up with you.

I know, I did too, Grace, I did too. You know, I talked about our Trader Joe's turkey burgers. Yeah, I know, but- I talked about our delicious Trader Joe's turkey burgers and the Swiss cheese. Yeah, but I don't think Swiss cheese is like your default cheese. You just eat the turkey. I don't know about my turkey burgers.

Well, yeah. I've always been a Swiss cheese fan and I've always liked it on my sandwiches. And when it was available at Subway, guess what cheese I got at Subway. Is that true? Yes, I got Swiss cheese. I got Swiss cheese on my spicy true? Yes, I got Swiss cheese. I got Swiss cheese. I'm a spicy Italian. Really?

I believe you. For the listeners, I believe this is what I live with. The primary witness to my own life. Yeah. Not only is unaware of like what I'm doing, but doesn't believe me when I tell them. I feel like when I'm doing, but doesn't believe me when I tell them. I feel like when I feel like I was like really shaken to my core when they discontinued the Swiss cheese, I feel like you moved on really like you were like, okay, problem.

Like that's, but, but, but I'd say that that is actually a, that is a, an inherent difference in primary character. Why don't you tell people, why don't you tell the listeners your relationship with Subway and how for the first. Yeah, great. So Grace's favorite restaurant in the world is Subway. Of course, there's the famous story of her getting recognized

that she walked into a sweet green one day and the one behind the counter was like, you look so familiar. And Grace thought that she was going to give her a celebrity lookalike comp. Most frequent one is Jennifer Garner. And she was like, here it comes. Like, who's she gonna say?

And then the one went, do you go to the subway on Beverly? Cause she worked there as well. Like Grace goes to subway so much that it's like every employee knows her. Yeah. You got all those, you got all those subway employees, their COVID vaccines. You signed them all up and got them all on the schedule. Do you remember that Grace?

That's awesome. Do you remember that? And your subway that you frequented. Yeah. That she was like always in there with the being like, okay, so here's where they, here's, Grace? That's awesome. Do you remember that? At your subway that you frequented. Yeah. That she was like always in there with the being like, okay, so here's the different locations. Like what appointment will work for you?

Like, got everybody signed up. Cause she wanted to, you know, be able to go and get her subway again and have all the employees healthy. Yeah, well, if you remember when they rolled out the vaccines, they, like one of the first rounds was for like restaurant workers. Yeah.

Like pretty early, like six months earlier than the average person. And so I said to my friend Alfonso, who's the manager at the subway, I said, I can get you and all your co-workers vaccine appointments. And we did. So that's the level of relationship that guys has with their sub-groups. One time I didn't go because I had COVID for like 10 days. This was two years ago when he texted me and asked me where I was. Oh my gosh. Wow. I didn't know that. So she goes all the time. So that's the level of loyalty that she has.

So I worked at a dry cleaner for about four years on and off, um, in my early twenties, uh, in Cheshire, Connecticut. And it was in a, like Plaza, like a strip mall type Plaza and the storefront right next door was a subway. And at one point my friend Chip was the manager of the subway and then his friend John, uh, was the manager of the subway. And then his friend, John, uh, was the manager of the subway. Um, and they were buddies. And so I could eat lunch for free at subway every day. And so every single day that I worked, I went to subway and I ate like the

thing that I liked every day for months. And then I started being like, okay, I'll eat this variation or like these two or three other things. And then I started just getting crazy on the menu and being like, okay, I'll eat this variation or like these two or three other things and then I started just getting crazy on the menu and being like I guess I'm gonna try the fucking barbecue pork sandwich because like I'm just like I can't I can't eat and it all started to taste the same to me and then like the smell in there of the bread because it was years of sure I was eating it like five days a week. And then I just was like, I can't eat Subway anymore.

Like I literally was like, I can't eat it. And then of course, in one of the ironic twists that Cupid so often likes to pull. I meet the love of my life and she is a subway stand. And so she wants to go there for lunch all the time. And I'm just like, I don't eat it. I can't. That's the thing. He goes, I don't like it.

I don't like it. That's what he said. But I, but I never just, it was never just a generic, I don't like it. It was like, I kind of can't eat it anymore. Like it just became gross to me over time. I was never like, Subway's bad. I was like, I got burned out. I don't like it.

But I don't think you really clarified that you got burned out. And then I think at one point, like six years into our relationship, you were like, I ate it so much, I can't eat it. It was not. And then. But listeners, this is not six years in.

I bet there are people listening to this show that already know this about me. OK, and then you like didn't eat it forever. And then you went on the dough boys, some dough boys thing where they. Yeah, they have some dough boys things. Dough boys podcast. No, I know. No, but it was like a special, like, wasn't it like a special?

It wasn't special. It was, it was like so many of their episodes, it was not special at all. It was them going back to a restaurant that they had been to three other times. But why did you guys pick Subway? Well, anyway, I'll have to say, I remember I went and I bought the sandwiches

for you and Hayes. And then you got your spicy Italian, and you eating it and you're like, this is pretty good. And now you eat Subway again. Yeah, I'll get it. I'll get it sometimes. Yeah, I know it's good, but you didn't, it was just like, so it's not my preference.

But again, I hadn't said this is bad. I loved the spicy Italian Subway all the way through high school. That's what I would get. Like I would eat it all the time. And then up through my 20s, and then there was a period for probably 24 to, you know, whenever this happened, 35 or something, that I just was like, I kinda like, the idea of it is bad for me.

And then once I had it once, and by the way, all my cells had replaced themselves by this point. You're an entirely new human being every seven years. I just think it's interesting that- That's why you don't love me anymore. Wait, what? Because it's been seven years plus since you've met me, so you're a totally new person.

Yeah. So all the cellular data that you had, that this was a positive sort of dynamic, has been erased. But yeah, so that's true, that I did start eating again and it did shake you up. And now it's like, I'm like a hypocrite, I guess, or something. Really? It just was like, you, I just feel like you could have made our lives a lot easier if you had just.

Can I not evolve? You like, do we have to hang on to this is like the Swiss cheese going away. It's like, I just, yeah, no, I'm not happy about it either, but I adjust. What is the practical step I can take to move forward? Yeah, that's like I switched from the original to the Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips because they also discontinued original Sun Chips. That's right. And-

And I was proud of you when you did that. And Honey Oat, which they then brought back and then discontinued again. That was a tease, huh? I fucking, I can't with them. I can't. It's just funny that there's gonna be so many comments on this episode that say this is their best episode by far but I do think the difference is this time people are correct. Well it's it's interesting. I wonder what I

wonder. I wish there was like one what I'll get attacked for. I wonder what interesting thing I could say about you. Like, what's like, can you? Unfortunately, there's not much that is interesting about me. Most interesting thing is that I do a podcast that my wife doesn't listen to. It's sort of a secret identity I have. Yeah. And now I've ruined even that.

Are there any recent stories of you ordering on Sean's behalf or any issues that, I always like the stories about him being shy at a restaurant or having an issue with a waiter and you have to intervene. Have we had any Sean? I'm trying to think. I'd say, well, would you say, Grace, that I've gotten a little better about it? Yeah, you have.

I've gotten a little better about speaking up for myself. That's cool. But part of the issue, Kevin, is that I am such a... And this is probably a little better too, but I am sort of a coiled spring of rage. Like, and so like, if I do start to speak up about what I feel is an injustice, yeah, I am afraid that it's going to come out wrong.

Yeah. And, and if it's something smaller, like I'm just like, I'll just live with it. Like, yeah, I'm just like, it's something smaller, like I'm just like, I'll just live with it. Like, I'm just like, it's not cooked, but I'll just eat it anyway. But Grace has gotten me to stop doing that. Like it was just like no scenario where I would ever tell anyone at any like any restaurant or anything

that anything was wrong. I would just be unhappy. We went to Antique the other night and you forgot that every, every time we go there, you always try to order that. Non-alcoholic. It's not a mosque. Oh, they have a, I, so this is my thing.

I'll go like, if we go to a nice dinner, uh, I'll be like, do you have any mocktails or anything? Cause I'm kind of like, I'm out, you know? Yeah. And, um, a lot of times, especially here, I feel like, and especially lately, some of the nicer restaurants will have a couple of options, and one that sounds interesting,

but the place that we go to, you know, most of them because we know the chef, and it's close to us is Antico. And they only really have, it's like a Fone Negroni. Oh yeah, Fone Negroni. Fone Negroni, that's right. Great name. Thank you.

And I kind of right. Great name. Thank you. And... He didn't come up with it. I kind of will read the name. I think the great name is part of the problem. Because... I know, every time... I talk myself into it. I know. Like, oh, wow, a name like that.

It's got to be something like... But I've gotten it and disliked it at least twice. Well, it's... It's not like they make a Phony Negroni. It's a bottle... That's the other thing I always remember, that it's like's a that's it's not like they make a phony Negroni. It's a bottle. That's the other thing. I always remember that it's like a canned fucking thing like that.

It's like, oh, because because you know, there's plenty of place to go. Like we don't have any on the menu, but it's like we'll put fucking grapefruit juice and ginger ale and a thing, you know, like just like makeshift. Yeah. And that's usually enough for me. But this is just like a thing that like a shel. And that's usually enough for me, but this is just like a thing, like a shelved product that I could buy. We should actually talk to them about it, but you should do it, Grace. Tell Chad, say Chad, let's have a chat. Why don't we have a?

Yeah, I feel like there had to have been like some engagement. Like, was there anything at like coffee recently? I feel like there must've been something. At coffee? Oh, well we had a lot of turnover at our local coffee place. Did we have anything? I know now the playing field is level, Sean. You can maybe become their favorite of the couple.

No, great. Everywhere we go that we're regulars, everyone knows Grace. I've talked about this before. Yeah. But there was like a gym that I went to for, was it, I mean, genuinely, with eight months, 10 months without you going there. And then you went, yeah, it might've been a year and then Grace started going. And within a month, every time she walked in, every single person there said hi to her and no one had ever said hi to me. Yeah, he is the same.

I call her the mayor everywhere we go. It's like, yeah, multiple. It's good to be married. It's good to be married to the mayor. You're like little Doug Emhoff's. Um, it is, right? I think so. Yeah, for sure.

Maybe a bad friend style clip we could get of Sean is I always see ones of these guys, like eight of them going out to dinner together and racking up a bill of like 10 grand and then like Bert Christ or something. It's like. It's on me. What is about friends? That's Santino and Bobby Lee. And, You know what?

That does come up in my feed. I told, I fucking told you. But it's mostly, it's mostly camera on Bobby Lee. Yeah. Being silly. Yeah. Or yeah. Okay.

Yeah. I have seen them. Yeah. I didn't know that. I knew for sure. There's no way Santino's not in your feed. I don't know what that means. Come on. We had a friend who for some reason just like chose

the bit that Andrew Santino was Grace's hall pass. It's so weird. Like she had never said anything about it, but someone just endowed her with this trait. And it sort of is like. Shambhali. I don't know, they've like spoken it into existence. He's in her TikTok feed, which of course I knew.

Yeah, that's so funny. I feel a kinship with him in a way. Is that right? I'm starting to feel connected to him. I mean, I'm gonna have to figure it out. He's going to be raising my kids. Who did you do? Made that joke earlier today.

Right here, Grace. That joke. Oh, my God. Kevin has the. It can happen right now. Share contact. Oh, yeah. Who did I make that joke about?

I made that joke about Julian Edelman because you have like an old Patriot sweatshirt and you were like, Oh, excuse me, sir. No, it's Pacific High School, Pacific football. Wrong. It's the, it's the bowl from the college of San Mateo, which is the community college where he went for two years. Like that has a great football program.

Yeah, there it is. Whoa. Pacific graffiti ball. Yeah. If I, if I see, if I. Well, me saying Pacific football and you're going wrong. It's like. Well, Pacific football is like.

You're gonna read the whole shirt. No, but it's the Pacific graffiti ball. It's not like Pacific isn't the name of the. Babe, I ain't looking at the words. I don't know. And when you got that switch, you're done. Not really. Not really reading.

Is this what Hollywood? I feel like you're slipping into. It's a lot of this. It's mostly faces. How many people watch this thing 17 how many uh well we don't want to say do we do we not want to say sometimes bleeps out the numbers tell me you're not humiliated uh there's like five six hundred people that watch it that's a lot more hate for the videos yeah a lot more for the videos.

Yeah, a lot more are paying for it, which is the deceiving part. Really? Yeah. Wow. Because there's like 10 times that that are subscribing, right? Yeah, it's 2200 that are paying for it and like maybe 700. Sometimes about like the handbook ones get like a thousand, like half.

That's not 10. The pro version and stuff. Well, I was saying that there's whatever I don't, I don't want to say, I don't want to make Kevin blue. This one, this one will get more for sure. But I'm not on the video. Doesn't matter. Oh, Grace.

They don't care. Maybe time for an ego check. You're on for a second. Well, we'll see what the numbers. You just think, no, but the implication is if she was on the video that it would, that the numbers would skyrocket. It would. So you're so, so you're so high on yourself.

Evan is agreeing with me. Oh, I would appreciate it financially and I married you. Do I get any credit for this? I was an early adopter. All right, well, this is longer than we usually do Grace. You know that? I'll go on video for the end. Yes. What's our little wrap up?

Look who's here. Who do we got? Honey, honey bun. Honey, she's looking sweet doggy. Have you got she got so big, so fast. How's she doing with Bosch, man? Oh, she's got a long great. Yeah, that's awesome. It's cool. OK. So what, yeah. That's awesome. That's cool.

Okay. So what are any wrap up, any parting thoughts? Do you feel like this episode made you more likely or less likely to listen to the show, Grace? I mean, maybe I'll listen to the, maybe the first episode I listened to was the one with me. Yeah.

That's where a lot of people start. Maybe you come on, yeah. Their own episodes. Yeah, it's also where a lot of people don't start. We have a lot of guests who've never heard the show and then they leave and go, now I never will. You think there's people that have been on the show that have never listened to an episode?

1000%. Oh yeah. And never listened to it again. It may be the majority. Yeah, at least 40%. Yeah, it's like half. It's 40% that and then another percent that is people have done it multiple times,

but it still feels like they haven't heard the show before. Well, I'll say this and God bless him and I love him and he's so nice and he was really nice about it. But I did see Pat and Oswald yesterday and he's so nice and he was really nice about it. But I did see Pat Oswald yesterday and he's done the show multiple times and we did a best show with him. But I realized, you know, it was on Zoom

at least once, maybe twice. Yep. But it's just like in my head, like I know who he is. And so I just walked up and I was like, hey. He was like, and he was so polite, but I was like, you don't, you don't know. And I was like, ah, okay.

Like, Hey, yeah, I'm Sean. It's so nice to meet you. Like I'm trying to transition out of it. And then two seconds later, someone else is talking to him and goes like, well, you know, Sean, right? And it's like, well, you know Sean, right? It's like, yeah. Of course I had said I knew him. Did you tell him you were?

I said, we've done some podcasts together. And he was like, well, that's how people know each other now. That's what all our relationships are. And now it's how I know my wife as well. But you didn't tell you didn't tell him you didn't say the name of your podcast. It was.

At that point, in that specific scenario. I don't think it would have helped. See, this is why people like my friends call me the queen of context, because if I was there, I would have been like, Pat and this is Sean, he hosts Hollywood Handbook. Like I Sean's like so bad at it. It's tough textualizing things like he never like he'll never like introduce people like always be like, oh, you know this person and like you worked on this thing and like you so like to give people some like structure.

Let Sean just like throws people to the wolves. Hope they figure it out. He feels that way. Like he's drowning and so he wants other people to drown with him. So, well, that's, it's not as negative as you're making that. It's like, I feel like I'm drowning and I feel like I'm going to pull you under. Like if I go to try to introduce you to someone, it's going to go so badly. Like when I'm making the connection,

they're like, we're all fucked. So it's like, maybe you, it's like, maybe this person could swim. I know I can't. So like, I should not be hanging on to them in this social circle because like it can't help. Does that, does that at least make sense? to them in this social circle because like it can't help. Yeah.

Does that at least make sense? It's like you should always just like, if you ever see people that you should just be like, you guys were both on Hollywood Handbook. Like that's how you should just always contend with you guys. You guys have a lot in common. You were both guests on my podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Yeah, that could be powerful. What if I only listen to the pro version? Would you be okay with that?

I would love that. I would love that. And I say this and I've said it on this show. Oh, you know why? I think I remember why. I think I remember why. Is the best thing we do. I do. That and the half.

I think I just was like, I'm not gonna pay for it. No, but I think the pro version actually, that's the, and even, and as we look at the clips, we weren't clipping the pro version for a while and I'm just like, I like this because Me too. With guests and I love our guests and I'm grateful, of course, for anyone who comes on and the show

and it can be, the highs can be so much higher with a great guest and like a great interaction, but the base level of a pro version, the basement is, is, is higher because there's never like me and Hayes being like, we don't know what to do with this person or like we've run, we've run out of road on this idea that we had and we don't actually know this person well enough to know how we can joke around with them anymore. Um, and that, that just never happens. So the, the lows are lower. So like the pro version is this is SSRIs, like this is years old. Like we eliminate the peaks and valleys,

and you can just kind of chill out, which I think is really where most podcasts want to live. I think if I had a commute, I could do it more. I just like, I have limited like listening time. Yeah. And you want it for stuff you like. No, yeah. Well, stuff I know I like. Yeah. That's the part of the exit survey that people leave off.

Have less listening time, parentheses, and I spend it listening to the stuff I like. I was just like, I'm so invested in like all these reality people. Are you gonna see the, is it called Giggly Squad? They're a massive, massive show. They're like always- We went to the live show. We talked about it. Yeah. Are you going to see the, is it called Giggly Squad? They're a massive, massive show. We went to the live show. We talked about it.

Yeah. Are you going to go to another one? We found the front row and then they came out, the first thing they said is there's a lot of guys here and we don't like it. And they looked right. Yeah. They pointed at me. Did you think they were going to bring them up?

Sean brought a hat pack hat for them. And it went way south. Oh no. Like we didn't even, like it wasn't even ever going to be an option. Yeah. We were like, Oh, maybe we'll see them and we could, they'll like it. And it was there. Was there a meet and greet?

No, not that we were a part of. They were pulling people up on stage, but they were, it was, they were very clear that they did not want any married men on stage because they were like, we don't want to ruin your marriage. I actually, I mean, you must've been thinking, Grace, did you not think like, I would have done pretty well up there? Yeah, totally. And then I asked you whether you think Hannah Berner

knows Hollywood Handbook and you said, she met. Did I say that? Well, yeah, because like, she's friends with like, I don't know. She's possible. I doubt it. And she even. I doubt it. Do you think Hannah Berner knows Hollywood handbook, Kevin?

Uh, I don't really know her. She she I mean, she's a stand up, but I feel like she's in a just a totally different scene. He's friends with Esther. Yeah, I know. in just a totally different scene. He's friends with Esther. Yeah, I know, but Esther is also attached to a totally different scene with a lot of comedians, very successful comedians, who do not know

Hollywood Handbook and will not be knowing Hollywood Handbook in the future. That's true. Oh, she did the Talk To A podcast. Since I died during this episode. The what? She did Talk To A, guy during this episode. So what? She did talk to a the hawk to a podcast. Yeah. The number four podcast out right now.

And she did an episode. I'm going to say Hannah doesn't know, but she knows people who know. Well, I know she knows people who know, you know, Esther. Yeah. Mailed it. So Kevin got the point for Kevin. In your face, Grace. Okay. Okay, well this was so great to have you on. As you say that you're obsessed with following all these reality stars, Grace.

Yeah. We do get- No, I don't follow them around. I would say- There's a lot of them that have podcasts that I like, like stop. I know and you listen to them. I know.

Well that's following them, right? Or following their exploits in some way. But what I wanted to say was we do get a request probably once a month on either like Reddit or some comment, just being like, especially if I ever mentioned anything to do with reality, it's like, I wish they would do reality show show. Like even if they did it, like, I say that I told you to do reality show show. I know. But look, I say that I told you to do reality show show.

I know reality shows, but look, I have you here. We're talking. Yeah. You and I, maybe it's that's what I'm saying. Maybe every other month, every, you know, like a couple of times a year, every whatever people would die. Jump in. We do, we do some, we do a reality show roundup. I mean, right now, none of our big shows are on. The challenge is on. I know, but I feel like- I know, you're out on the season, but I would say that the challenge is one of our big shows. Historically, it has been, I'm not out on the season, but I'm not like... I'd be like, I'm watching closer than you are.

I think we would be... What? I think I like, I'm closer than you are. I think we would be, what? I think I'm watching the season closer than you are. I think you're on your phone more than me. I was just gonna say, I think we would like this season better if we put our phones away. But part of the problem is it's 90 minute episodes, which I think is too long.

And they did that with Survivor too, and the episodes are longer. I know, we can just put it in two nights. It's not like we're like overloaded with like we finished tell me lies and we finished, we didn't do perfect couple. And so start tank is back to shunt failed on perfect couple. Yeah. Shark tanks back.

That's nice. No, but we could talk about that. We always, we, we could do a tank, but no tanks. Um, that's not really like a reality show. You know, what's going to come back? Um, summer house is coming back. That's what I, that's what I like a reality show. You know, what's going to come out. Um, summer house is coming back. That's what I, that's what I mean with our big shows. I mean, the Bravo shows.

When I say our big shows are summer house, I'm talking Vanderpump. I'm talking the Valley. I'm talking Southern charm. I'm talking about the one of those has to come back. No, I mean, I just like the cycle, like we're just in the, we're just like in the cycle. Like it's gonna come, like I don't know when, but I'm sure if you looked at it, yeah.

Yeah. No, I've always said that I thought you and Hayes should do reality show show. I mean, did I listen to reality show show? I certainly heard an episode of reality show show. Yeah. Man, the worlds where that kept going. So fascinating to think.

Yeah. Reality show show. It was unsustainable for me. Where would we be? Why, because it was too much reality? It was a lot of watching and like preparing clips and like the whole process of making it was hard. We didn't have a producer or anything at the time and there was no money and people weren't

listening but it was more like we were having to split up shows and go like, okay, I'm going to fucking speed scrub through this episode of this and you, you watch that show. Well, why don't you just do it the way that you do like, um, like the way you did subtitles on where you just release like 10 episodes of, like you just do like. Batches. I think reality shows are airing now. You know what I mean? Like I think the people who want to listen to those shows really want to hear

more recent recaps. I mean, that's another thing about it. Like, but maybe I'm wrong, but yeah. Subtitles and subtitles on also, which I love doing, but it was like, it took me four hours to watch a two hour movie cause I'm stopping to take notes all the time. And then how long were the fucking records, Kevin? I mean, it's my fault.

Couple hours. Two and a half hours. I know, people loved it. Yeah, they did. I love being a part of something like that. Well, if you did some reality show show episodes, people will go crazy. Well, let's think about it.

At least we've teased people. Okay, tell you what, guys. Tell your friends to subscribe. If we hit a million dollars. No. If we can get to half the dough boys subscribers by the end of the year,

if we can be half as good as dough boys, we'll do reality show show again. But you know why reality, I mean, dough boys, I feel like chain restaurants and reality TV are like in the same ballpark that they're like so. Well, it's all fast food. It's all garbage.

Yeah, but it's so like. It's all empty calories. Yeah, they are in the same world. Yeah. It's all being force fed down our throats. Yeah, but people like love those like the office thing and. Oh, yeah. I should have been on the office.

Then I could talk about the episodes I was on. Which by the way, I tried to. You were on the office? I wanted to be. Oh, oh. Yeah, I told you somebody told me the other day at dance class, my, Vivian's dance class that they saw you on 30 Rock.

No, you didn't tell me that. Oh yeah. They're like, we were just watching 30 Rock and there was Sean. And I was like, yeah, there he is. Yeah. Sort of a very low rent forest gump figure. Aren't I? Yeah.

Sort of touched all these different things. Herb, 30 Rock, Parks. It's really just, yeah. I feel like there's one more. Right? Yeah, it always feels like there's one more, but that might be the whole fucking list. Workaholics.

But yeah. Making history. Workaholics, workaholics. Making history, Deep cut. I thought that was gonna be my ticket, man. You know, you're writing for a show, Kevin. It's on like 9.30 on Sundays on, you're like in between like Simpsons and Family Guy

or something, they go like, you're gonna be a recurring character on the show. Lord and Miller are producing it. The last thing they did is Last Man on Earth. And it's like, oh, okay. I'm in like four or five episodes a year. And I'm like, I'm also like producer on it. You go, oh, people are gonna like know who I am.

Like, this is a big deal. Yeah. The show is not even available to watch. Is that true? I mean, you could buy it. Oh, Sean, what's it called? Kevin Can Fuck Himself. There you go. That's on Netflix now.

I remembered. It is. Nicole Byer loves it. She does? That's right. She popped into a recording to tell me that she like, that was really nice. That was cool. Did they talk about it on Best Friends?

One of your best friends. They should, yeah. From the show, Best Friends, actually came and saw that we were recording, came in and talking. And then we were like, get on the couch, come talk to us. We were like begging her to be here in any way on our show.

Like, please the clout. But instead it was just a nice person giving me a nice compliment. She's really nice. Didn't actually like benefit me, you know? But yeah, she is really nice. Yeah, and you can feel it on the show. I should do that.

I should be nice. No. I love it, it's doing so well for her. Yeah, but she's also got a little bite to her. Yeah, that's true. It's true. She just knows when to use it. Yeah.

Yeah. You should have her teach you. She's flying out. Yeah. I'd like to, you know, what I gotta do is I gotta listen to best friends. It's, it's, I mean, I don't listen to it, but I watch the TikTok videos and it's very charming. Yeah.

I'm going to send you this one where she talks about- You sold me. She tells a really funny story. Oh, I gotta watch it again. But she basically says like, Nicole's talking about how she watched The Matrix and you know what? Forget it.

Grace, it's 10.30. Kevin has to edit this. Okay, yeah. Okay, I have to go to bed. I take a shower. Pop it on camera. Yeah, me too. We both call this episode. How was your workout today?

Grace? Um, it was really good. Yeah. What'd you do? Um, I did, what did I do first? I did chest press. Oh no, I did dead lifts? I did chest press. Oh no, I did deadlifts. I did chest press. I did like these weird side plank pulling the rope thing. She also had me do one of those like rainbow things

where you like over you put your leg over when you're in a side plank and she was like, Sean made this really nifty blue like band and then I had to like search for this band thing that you like made this that tie I had a tie to band, yeah. Yeah, because I guess we need to buy new bands. It was nifty. Just needed a smaller one for something, yeah. Yeah, I did like- We have a Zoom trainer for everyone

wondering what we're talking about. We have the same Zoom trainer we do, we both do 30 minutes. She's actually asked her Zoom trainer to bring it back to us. Yeah, that's how we found her. She's actually asked her Zoom trainer to bring it back to us. Yeah, that's how we found her. She's the nicest. She goes, you're getting so strong. But Kevin, so this has been a little bit

of our fitness talk too. And this is the only way I can talk to my wife actually is on the podcast now. It's been really nice. This is cool. And Kevin, we'll bring in, I'll bring you in on, I know you successfully kind of crushed the, we're here to help guys with your weight loss journey.

And, um, I need to begin some sort of process like that as well. I glow up. Who's, who's we're here to help. Bye. That was a hate gum podcast. Bye. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha episode drops and we wait Lamorne what are you doing over there? It's nothing just that, it's polishing my Emmy. Why? Well because we're now the only official headgum podcast hosted by an Emmy winner. Is that true? Probably not.

But Jake Johnson's on headgum, does he have an Emmy? No but he has been a guest on the Lamorne after. Which might be an even bigger honor. I mean and we have other amazing guests like Glenn Powell, Raven Simone, the cast of New Girl, and many, many more. Plus we play games, we tell stories, we poll the fans for questions. We poll them for questions, just Steve. Polling them constantly.

Up and down, sideways, backwards. It's a lot less weird than it sounds. You'll see. Subscribe to The Morning After on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And watch video episodes on YouTube.

New episodes drop every Wednesday.