Hollywood Handbook - Will Menaker, Our Graphtreon Friend

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

The Boys welcome WILL MENAKER from Chapo Trap House to help promote an important cause.Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://a...rt19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. like good ideas that could actually work and so i always like to start with like what's the thing that's on everyone's mind right now like culturally what's at the top of the culture right now kevin just like what what's the um what would you say in that situation fashion food friends no uh foods so specifically right now it's chunky soup and student loan forgiveness oh chunky soup the soup that made it okay for it gave soup back to men essentially after like it was primarily like men's thing and then it was taken away from us for a really long time and then it was returned to us by by chunky soup student loan forgiveness everyone's talking about college right now everyone's in a very college mindset so as when as we're developing new products, we take these different influences.
Starting point is 00:01:25 What do we come up with? Mike's Chunky Hard. The Mike's Hard you love. And there's a Mike's Harder version, of course. And so there's Mike's Chunkier Harder as well. It's Mike's Hard, but it's also full of pieces of fruit boba yes boba is a very popular thing right now college kids love boba yeah and not like it's not like chunky soup ingredients it's not like potatoes or whatever it is sweet potatoes there are sweet potatoes in it huh
Starting point is 00:02:06 and i bring out i've created sort of a prototype that i bring out at the blue sky meeting yeah and i like pass i throw like wipes i'm like you're gonna need these and i throw like wipes out to everyone but the chunk like i try to like undo the it has like a crown top and the chunks have like gotten into the threads oh no they're like they've hardened inside the threads oh no no no no no it's fine it's not bad oh oh okay because then it's opportunity bad. Oh, okay. Because then it's opportunity. Chunk challenge.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Hashtag chunk challenge. Chunk challenge. Get this thing open. Build a machine that can open Mike's Chunky Hard. Are you following any of this? I was going to pitch a Jersey Mike's way. I want to talk to the's way i want to talk to the guest i want mike's mike's hard way mike's hard way it's hollywood handbook an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker always of this industry we call show this it's haze i this is this is exciting for me because i sort of fill this role on the show. It's like kind of the main host who keeps everything going.
Starting point is 00:03:30 And in many ways, that is sort of the core talent of podcasting is being able to set boundaries, keep everything sort of in line, and make sure everything is happening on schedule. That's right. Here we have the main host of Chapo Trap House, Will Meneker. The player coach. The point guard. Yes! The guy who runs the offense, who sets the tempo,
Starting point is 00:04:00 calls the plays, and keeps it moving. Thank you for recognizing what is the number one podcast talent in my opinion. And I can also see in you as in myself, could we be doing the windmill dunks? Could we be pulling up from
Starting point is 00:04:16 half court like some of these showboats? Absolutely. But I'm always looking to make the assist. They used to say Ichiro, Japanese man who played baseball, that he, in batting practice, it was just dingers, just one after another. Just showing he's yawning. Ichiro's yawning as he blasts dingers out of Safeco Field because he understood that what you need to do
Starting point is 00:04:47 is every time you get up, you just make contact. You know, when you bat in the leadoff spot, you could hit a solo home run every time you come up at bat, but for the team, you get on the base, you let number two, three, and and four they hit a dinger that's two three two three runs right there rather than just one instead of so yeah and then you've destroyed their confidence with your exactly huge dingers if you play selfishly that way but you and i understand how how this medium works. Do you have any food ideas? I don't want to totally skip over.
Starting point is 00:05:29 We use this up top to say some of our inventions, like big food inventions. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I love the idea of Mike's Chunky Hard. I was thinking, I mean, I just like, you know, like I said, blue sky reading. Just a thought I had here is, obviously obviously soup used to be men's thing. It's been sort of taken from us by women with, you know, sort of bisques and, you know,
Starting point is 00:05:54 vichyssoise, you know, cold soups, things like that. However, I was going to think, yeah, the things that have been, or, you know, stew. Stew is a very manly food. Yes. But when it comes to stews Stew is a very manly food. Yes. But when it comes to stews... It's a man's name, even. But when it comes to stews and soups, I think the thing that's missing is carbonation.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Okay. So you're sort of going the other way. Yeah. I'm thinking like sort of a hard seltzer soup, like a chicken noodle white claw or something like that. Okay. And does it have... Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Chicken noodle white claw. You can get bone broth now in a can, or some people just drink it. They just sip it like their morning tea. I'm just thinking like, yeah, like a hard bone broth with a little carbonation. The carbonation. So it's just... You get your, like a hard bone broth with a little carbonation. The carbonation. So it's just you get your alcohol, you get your you get your you get your you get your
Starting point is 00:06:49 broth. Yeah. And also, you know, some fizz, some fizz to sting the roof of your mouth with flavor. And are you is it a traditional like can opener process for opening it? So are you like getting in there with the can opener? I think go back to the old. No, like go back to the can opener. Who opening it so are you like getting in there with the old no like go back to you know can opener who has time for that um i'm thinking go back to the old like kind of narragansett pull tops yes that's where you need a special other tool to get in there like pride the little opening yeah um that could be really nice and so now
Starting point is 00:07:27 we're assaulting the market from all angles we have a hard beverage with soup components and we have a soup with hard beverage components so we're getting like you know just when the soup loyalists are like hey like where's our thing now we have we're like oh actually we already thought of this so some people might say it's the same product but it's like no it's actually completely like these are completely different ideas well there could be like you know a hard soup original which has chunks of chicken and noodles in it and then it's like hard hard soup smooth that's just the broth and maybe a little little scallions and chives floating around in there but it's mainly yeah just the just the broth but you can get a hard soup original that has um noodles and chunks of beef and carrots in it as well hard soup smooth i love uh you know this like podcasting
Starting point is 00:08:28 and like this work is so important to me uh and i love like sharing this like space with you as part of a uh that's a family honestly like uh but a community within podcasting that is really really special to to me to you to sean to matt to felix to kevin do you have like a kevin like type person like someone that's like a producer but like is not on air talent necessarily but is like doing like yeah Chris Chris our God the God Chris Wade I mean he he's also kind of a player in a coach because he can he can hop on the mic
Starting point is 00:09:13 and you know drain hit some hit some rants hit some riffs drop some zingers but you know Chris is our producer God he may he makes the show run yeah he edits the audio he he you know chris is our our producer god he may he makes the show run he yeah he edits the audio he he you know um uh drops in like the toilet flush sound or like boiling you know yeah the yeah exactly that's what i say about kevin too like kevin is like honestly the funniest like
Starting point is 00:09:40 like we're out here doing this all the time but like kevin is honestly like the secretly the funniest one yeah i say that it's like not like he is terrible like but like we like we it's better to say about the producer makes us look like sort of like guys of the people to be like the producer is actually like could do this like better than me could not do it has tried didn't it it didn't work at all but like for like for what we're saying it's important that we that we honor them in that way absolutely we must uphold and support producer thought um you know because without them you know we're we're just talent you know it doesn't the The hard soup doesn't come to you. The carbonated stew does not arrive fresh in your inbox and iPods without the hard work of the producers.
Starting point is 00:10:35 So solidarity to all producers out there. I can't edit audio. What the fuck? What am I doing here? Yeah. I just talk. I'm just here to look pretty. It's producer T-H-O-u g-h-t kevin has been saying that he wants to go by producer thought t-h-o-t
Starting point is 00:10:54 okay thought yeah and so like i just don't want him to think that like oh this is something that you can do you cannot do that no you cannot go by producer thought producer thoughty none of that producer thoughty with a body none of those are on the table we'll see what about what about uh audio slave audio audio slave you know i think that's a good and what a tribute and your guy's name is chris already yeah exactly wow be yourself a tribute audio slave chris audio slave chris yeah what a nice tribute actually the uh the last time i was in cornell yeah the last time i was in los angeles uh i'm here back in the uh of Angels, but I feel like I
Starting point is 00:11:45 haven't gone this time, but every time I visit Los Angeles, I always make a point to visit the Hollywood Forever Cemetery and pay my respects to some of the greats, including, sadly and fortunately, Chris Cornell, whose grave is located right next to the grave
Starting point is 00:12:01 I always visit first and have to pay tribute to, the grave of the great Tony Scott, the great director. Have you guys ever seen his grave? I thought it was in poor taste for, I know he
Starting point is 00:12:17 made man on fire, but for the grave itself to be on fire, I thought eternally is dangerous. it's affecting chris it's scorching chris cornell's grave yeah although they're like please don't leave flowers near the tony scott grave will cause a forest fire uh what's written on it it's actually fascinating it's this like it's this sort of jagged slab of marble and on one side of it it's like in in there's like a metal figure that's like mountain climbing
Starting point is 00:12:52 like bouldering up it's climbing the jagged slope of the grave but then on the side of it it's like you know like like polished like um smooth marble and in it is engraved his entire filmography. Wow. He did. He has credits. The man has credits. You're talking Crimson Tide. You're talking Beverly Hills Cop 2. Hunger.
Starting point is 00:13:17 You're talking Hunger. You're talking True Romance. The Taking All of 1, 2, 3. Domino. Unstoppable. Deja Vu. Okay, sorry just i'm just naming movies now but yeah so uh if you're in the hollywood forever cemetery go check out go pay respects to chris cornell tony scott burt reynolds john houston uh one of the ramones yeah yeah two of the ramones actually oh anton yelkin. Who else is there? Oh, Peter Lorre.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Peter Lorre as well. Yeah. And, of course, millions of COVID dead are buried there also. Yeah, but they've just been incinerated and thrown into a giant tip. You know, I mean, it's like, you know, they're not celebs. Hollywood Handbook. This week on the Patreon, Carl and Hassan discuss the latest season of Hard Knocks. The boys discuss some secret slack messages on the pro version. And the Flager ones are mostly talking all things basketball.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Check out all these shows and the video for today's episode with Will at Patreon.com slash the Flager ones. Hollywood Handbook. Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-frozen meal is chef-crafted, dietitian-approved, ready-to-go in just two minutes. Speaking of ready-to-go in just two minutes chef kevin is here with his new show the chef kevin factor where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is different kevin i just want to i just want to establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of ingredients
Starting point is 00:14:59 like this is the meal the meal has to be ready it's not a recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the promises the meal makes us sleepy. You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:49 Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy. They have smoothies and things like that. Reservation for two. Me walking in my bedroom. What's the second?
Starting point is 00:16:03 It's you and your bed. The bed. I got clippy. Fuel up fast with with factors restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are pancakes smoothies and more discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast midday bites and more no we didn't even this is absolutely this is not even up for consideration so let's just hear what the actual meal what. What was the food? I don't want to go to bed. It's very simple. It's one huge chicken nugget.
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Starting point is 00:17:40 three weeks babble is designed by real people for real conversations and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their whole finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger? Because it looks like an emergency. I know I'm supposed to do something.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Or how about those people that stand in the street? They're kind of like, they've got almost like police clothes on. It may be police. Almost, yeah. And they're standing in the middle, and as I'm driving and I'm cruising, they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost.
Starting point is 00:18:46 And they're really aggressively pushing it out. I'm like, am I supposed to drive by a car? Yes. Or just do it out the window as I'm going. That's what I've been doing. Dangerous. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure.
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Starting point is 00:20:14 Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me. Hey, guys. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills. You can see all your subscriptions in one place. And if I see something I don't want, I can cancel it with a tap. I never have to get on the phone with customer service. The subscriptions are insidious.
Starting point is 00:20:34 They're the scourge of our modern life. And you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged. I know that I was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think also got an end point by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of
Starting point is 00:21:26 them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing oh they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was i mean just to be fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys
Starting point is 00:22:29 i want to talk about this uh this community this family that we share uh everyone who follows podcast like podcasting is is a sport right? And you can follow it, and there's all kinds of numbers and statistics, and there's the seasons of winning, losing. And it's all tracked on an amazing site, super popular site called Graftrion, which has the rankings of the top 50 patreon podcasts all right it's rarefied air uh we've been in it our podcast family the flagrant ones has been in it for a
Starting point is 00:23:17 few years now uh very special community uh will and chop, you guys are number three, which is odd. I think. Wait, we're number three? What the fuck? Yeah. All right. Who is number two and one? You know, I don't.
Starting point is 00:23:36 I just assumed we were number one, but apparently we've been knocked off our lofty perch. Who are these two? Who are these? Okay, let's see here. Okay. Oh, true crime. Tim Dillon. Tim Dillon.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Okay. Oh, we're number four. We've fallen since this podcast has started recording. Even since we started, you fell by a lot. Maintenance. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Okay. Well, okay. This is what I get for going on Hollywood Handbook. We're already... We're falling drastically. Okay. I don't. This is what I get for going on Hollywood Handbook. We're already... We're falling drastically. Okay. I don't think that's related.
Starting point is 00:24:09 But... Okay. So let's go... No, no. Shout out. Shout out to Tim Dillon. Shout out to Tim Dillon. Tim Dillon, Kevin Dillon's nephew.
Starting point is 00:24:17 True Crime Obsessed. Of course it's a true crime show. But I'm interested in... True Crime Obsessed is number one by a lot. Okay. So let's look at these numbers. it's of course it's a true crime show but i'm interested in this is number one by a lot okay so let's let's let's look at these numbers and so it's ranked by patrons right because if it were ranked by money it'd only be you and us showing up basically no one else is revealing how much money they're making they're ashamed to be successful where i actually think it's a good thing. So number one, True Crime Obsessed,
Starting point is 00:24:47 almost 49,000 patrons. I will say a positive trend for you all. They are dropping. Okay. Oh, I see negative. Oh, yeah. Lost 1,226. All right.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Excellent. Over the last three months. Love to see that. That's potentially huge. At your pace of increase of a couple hundred patrons every three months you guys could be catching them in the 2025-26 range if we stay on pace here i think i think the way to juice our numbers is that i think we should start actually committing some true crimes and then documenting our own our own crime sprees. I'm concerned that you are leaning into like that's their core competency.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Yeah. And that you are just kind of feeding their as the national crime wave recedes. This is very bad for them. What they want is. Yeah. These people are true crime obsessed. These are also the sickest, most perverted people on earth. These people are actually obsessed with crime,
Starting point is 00:25:54 the act of badness and doing bad behavior. They're obsessed with this. I'm obsessed with punishing criminals. Exactly. I'm obsessed with ending crime yeah and making the streets safe these sickos are out here obsessed you know glorifying criminals and you know telling people how to commit crimes and how to get away with it i'm assuming i've never listened to their show but um yeah all right tim dillon you know they should give us little um uh tokens to listen to the other
Starting point is 00:26:27 especially in the graftrion top 50 like we're a part of this family we need to be supporting each other obviously we're not going to subscribe to every one of these other shows but if we got little tokens to listen and then we could say like hey this show is good or it's not for me tim dylan show kevin dylan's nephew i mean i ain't mad at tim you know he's sort of in the same lane as we are but you know he's taking off like a like a damn rocket yeah uh coming up to number two a rocket that a rocket that's also settling back to earth let's say like there were we're we're losing 325 patrons over the last three months again potential for now we're looking at the in pretty deep in the 2030s but i think you guys could could catch up there as well if we're on
Starting point is 00:27:18 pace i'm concerned about number three will a maintenance phase this is okay like okay i thought we were number three but since this show started recording maintenance phase as past this i have no idea what this show is maintenance phase has 41 000 patrons and notably i think has increased by over 3 000 patrons just in the last three months. Wow. And you all starting 4,000 behind, without a serious shift in how things are going, we're not catching them.
Starting point is 00:28:00 I mean, what do they talk about on this show? What do they maintain it? What phase is happening here kevin get get in maiden phase is a health science and pop culture podcast that debunks health and wellness industry myths and discusses anti-fatness in a mainstream american culture okay so this is this is this is this is an anti-fat show i think it's debunking oh anti-fatness so the way to go after them i think is to create a product that they that like is basically bait for them to debunk it to create like a like maybe a tea like an anti-bloating, like a de-bloating tea. A tummy tea?
Starting point is 00:28:46 Yes, a tummy tea. And then they debunk it. And then you drop on them that actually this shit fucking works. Yeah. Our hard stew is going to be featured on Maintenance Faves. Oh, it should be hard de-bloat stew. And then number five, you've got Matt and Shane's
Starting point is 00:29:07 secret podcast. Matt and Shane, very funny guys. Love their show. But they're, you know, they're, God, they're hot on our heels. Jesus. Yeah, they're these young hungry wolves. These young hungry wolves are climbing the hill.
Starting point is 00:29:23 Hey guys, can you hear me? Salivating. Hey Sean, hey Sean. Can you guys hear me? We're just going down the Graftrion list here. We can hear you. Can you hear us? Yeah, I'm down at Graftrion headquarters.
Starting point is 00:29:35 You can see behind me. We got some trucks and stuff lined up. Man, whatever you're doing on this episode is starting to make real waves. People are very nervous it seems like we're making a real change here everybody hey will hi thanks for being here just gotta say i i really appreciate it and i haven't i haven't talked about like specifically what we we haven't gotten that far down the list but i guess i can what i
Starting point is 00:30:06 guess just the news of you guys kind of joining forces has made a really big impact because i hear some there's some machines kicking in that are starting to like really be loud and it seems It seems like they're really preparing for a massive shift. Okay, so this is really interesting. So there's some activity over there, even just in anticipation of us joining forces. That's so interesting. So I wonder what would be like a worthy cause for our shows to like join forces around to really show that the graph tree on top 50 community sticks together is powerful.
Starting point is 00:30:55 And I guess a great cause that could do that would be keeping our show in the graph tree on top 50 because it is at risk of falling out. Kevin, if you could scroll down, if I could say, I've seen some, some Pinkerton's pull up some union busters have, have arrived. And I think they're worried that we will present to United front. And they know that together we are strong divided.
Starting point is 00:31:22 We can be conquered. So the Pinkerton's are are there are they brandishing like any like their their nightsticks they've got these big paddles you know the like sort of paddles yeah they've they're sort of branching that they're slapping it hard against their hand it's pretty loud and i'm afraid i will get a spanking if i do approach they're doing are they they're doing dazed and confused stuff to protesters? Yeah, one of them has the FAQ thing written on it, like Ben Affleck's dazed and confused character.
Starting point is 00:31:56 So, yeah, they want to have that super senior feel to them. If you have a speaker mode on your phone, could you just point it at the Pinkertons? I just want to give them a few bars of this. They say in Harlan County, there are no neutrals there. You'll either be a union man or a thug for J.H. Blair. Is it working? Which side are you on, boys?
Starting point is 00:32:19 Which side are you on? They're shivering. They're starting to disintegrate. Their image is shimmering and they're beginning to disappear. Oh, wow. It's like Thanos. Oh, it's like Back to the Future. It's like Thanos in Back to the Future. What's crazy is when you rewatch Back to the Future now,
Starting point is 00:32:37 Thanos isn't in it at all because they effectively changed the timeline. Wow. I mean, what a demonstration of the possible power of members of this community sticking together making sure that like hey so like these forces are coming for us my concern is actually that the pinkertons are going to create a podcast and try and get it into the graph trend top 50 in order and and and getting it at 47 or above to knock us down and potentially out of the top 50 entirely yes what i'm saying is you know if we if we really show our power today if will gets in there with us and we sort of grasp hands and say like, this is a united front, you know,
Starting point is 00:33:28 e pluribus unum, et cetera. Like what's going to happen is even if they do form a podcast and enter the craft round, they're going to have to pay us like dues because that's how, how's today going to get insurance? I'm going to say that.
Starting point is 00:33:48 If any podcast hosts out there, if anyone has a podcast and they've been received an offer to like go on the Pinkerton podcast, to host the Pinkerton podcast, to retweet a link to the Pinkerton podcast, that is crossing a picket line, boys. We're sending thugs to your house. We're going to intimidate you. That's a great way to make the terminal list.
Starting point is 00:34:11 Parody in a video game. We're going to end your life. We're going to make it real hard on you. We will no-scope you. Unfortunately, that's a great way to end up on the terminal list.
Starting point is 00:34:27 What I say to all those podcasts or aspiring podcast hosts off out there if i could quote the great commander reese stay off my list i also want to talk about the value of of the service that we do down like near the bottom of the graph tree on list, well, you guys are up at number four. You have no idea what goes on down there. We got all these up-and-comers
Starting point is 00:34:54 trying to sneak in to the top 50, and they peek their little heads up at number 49 and 50, and we're the front lines where we meet them at the door, and we're like hey what's the tip of the spear we're the grunts we're the infantry man i mean first first ones first ones first ones to the wall get bloody like we like when they come in there in order to keep the
Starting point is 00:35:18 what it has been which is a really classy operation and a family. Yeah. You know, we've had to really just, we've had to boot some of these characters straight off the list. And it's not easy. And we could use a little help from the big swinging, you know, what's upstairs. I mean, usually, usually I just, you know,
Starting point is 00:35:43 I blow the whistle and the Lusser podcast, they go over the top and they get mowed down in like a Gallipoli style assault on these up and coming, the Huns, these barbarian horrors of true crime podcast. They just get to mow down with a Maxim gun. But you know what? I think now is time in terms of Graf Strayan, top 50 solidarity.
Starting point is 00:36:09 We got to lock it in. The people in the top 50 now i don't want any more i don't want any more changes i don't want any newcomers revenue sharing agreement well no not that agree not that not that that's a really good idea it lifts up the entire industry a rising tide lifts all pay podcast and it's the many it's the many not the few you know i don't want to look back in the next administration whoever replaces jordan cope or whatever if he's still there and say wow we had the chance to codify the graph tree on top a few years ago and we didn't do it and now look what's happening all of our subscribers are being rolled back and reassigned and there's nothing we can do about it like let's be a strong strong unit please i think we can take a lesson from Tony Scott's grave, actually. Sean, are you familiar with Tony Scott's grave?
Starting point is 00:37:08 Yeah. Remind me because there's so many graves that I have been studying of late. And so I hate to just be like, oh, yeah, that grave. But I've got to compete with one of the other famous graves I love. Tony Scott's grave is located in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. It's sort of this like a jagged slab of marble on one side, and it depicts a figure climbing the side of this jagged marble face. There's a man climbing his grave.
Starting point is 00:37:37 It's sort of bouldering. It's a man climbing the grave, and on the side, on the smooth marble side, as I said before, engraved in the side of the grave is uh his filmography all of his credits all of his credits yes so what lesson are we taking from this this man is represented represented on his grave someone attempted to climb it can you hear no not really okay boy the boy the phones boy the phones have gotten better they're getting really good
Starting point is 00:38:09 someone's attempting to climb Tony Scott's grave and erase his credits but they are etched in stone they are unchanging if we are to take the Graftrion top 50 and record it in stone forever to say like this is not changing at all ever.
Starting point is 00:38:30 And that means that like a certain number of basically we have to freeze just the number of patrons that we currently have. All men of stern morality and good conscience need to stand atop the Graftrion top 50 and yell, stop, stop, no more. We can't have any new podcasts. Get in here. And actually, I think all the Graftrion top 50 should unite against the real threat. You know, fight the real enemy, as Sinead O'Connor once said yes which is like actually all the outside of podcasts all the biggest accounts on patreon are basically like deviant art like hentai deviant art commissions yes that's right so the pod here we are we're like the podcast like we're fighting each other over scraps yeah yeah wow you know people are out there
Starting point is 00:39:26 just like taking like cloud from Final Fantasy and drawing him with like his butt's pregnant yeah if you don't want to see I mean like look yes these podcasters they turn us against each other they keep us fighting over the
Starting point is 00:39:42 scraps while a guy who draws Spiro the dragon's asshole is taking in millions i wonder if we could get in on their shit by on our shows we start describing some of this stuff okay are you familiar with uh tony the tiger tony the tiger from frosted flakes yeah yeah toucan sam from fruit loops imagine toucan sam putting his nose up tony the tiger's urethra well and then i mean if that's it that's a pleasant image now give me good money please subscribe for more in the meantime tony the tiger could be sucking on his own tail some kind of you know a little bit of the frosting from the flakes
Starting point is 00:40:30 comes shooting out of that thing it's dripping off his damn chin this is so much more creative than the garbage that I yeah exactly I'm scrolling through my my patreon subscriptions
Starting point is 00:40:46 right now and it's it's all filth it's all filth i don't know why i subscribe to it but you know no so when i look i'm so disappointed and what patreon has become when i look at what i'm paying for it is it is some of the most vile pornography imaginable and And I'm just like, wait a minute. When Patreon used to be nice, it used to be about podcasts, making people laugh, you know, teaching about politics,
Starting point is 00:41:14 stuff, sharing knowledge, educating people, not, um, Tony, a tiger busted frosted flakes all over his face. out of his tail, up his chin. That's not what we used to be about. Guys,
Starting point is 00:41:28 let's find us again. We gotta figure out a way to have some kind of share. If we're gonna bring the podcast together, a lot of these are like soccer shows. There's two Arsenal shows
Starting point is 00:41:44 in the top 50. Yeah, fellas fellas i'm a bloody gooner for life okay so this is helpful because like i you know i'm trying to figure out if you like what do you say like up the boys like what do you say to these like what do you say when you're on the pitch you say that you say this is a bloody masterclass. Tears in my eyes from this bloody masterclass as I see the Gooner lads take the pitch and defeat Wrexham by wicking him. I actually know that I'll take this as a chance. Long-time fans of Chapman know I'm a bloody Gooner for life.
Starting point is 00:42:19 I love the bloody beautiful game. I love football. But to express my support of arsenal i am launching my patreon which is just me personally will mimic her i'm looking to get into the top 50 of hentai filth patreon graftron all basically all it is is i'm going to be drawing doodles of the arsenal mascot gunnar saurares, pleasuring himself. Okay, and can you describe, as we're doing this in more detail, can you describe Gunnar Soares?
Starting point is 00:42:52 Gunnar Soares. Gunnar Soares. Gunnar Soares. Gunnar Soares. He's a bloody master class. He's a football playing dino. And yeah, with enormously oversized genitals. i've but uncircumcised uncircumcised that's very important he's an uncut dino sort of a sort of a brontosaurus
Starting point is 00:43:13 uh but he's got a got a beautiful uncut cock and it's just yeah i think just in terms of like trying to blend this like soccer stuff with like known ip and like hentai like is there room for like um maybe like frankenberry is like just like sticking it to ted lasso or something like like we have like could we have like coach beard going down at couch ocula like is that something that could possibly like blend our worlds because you know we will we come from entertainment i mean traditionally you know we are we are from entertainment and i don't want to lose sight of that i don't want to become someone else just to make these guys happy i don't like that um well i mean i don't know i i think you know um instead of um instead of ted lasso
Starting point is 00:44:08 sort of erotic art i was thinking maybe i could do i mean like because like i get requests all the time i'm like the number one thing that you know our fans and i think you know like fans of the graft round top 50 podcast they're always saying to me i i just i wish i could see ted lasso when are you guys gonna fuck okay i no no no no like i've been they're angry they're they're always saying to me i i just i wish i could see ted lasso when are you guys gonna fuck okay i no no no no like i've been they're angry they're angry ted lasso they want to see bad things happen to him so you know it's just sort of uh sort of a open casting call for like you know animation um art you know but instead of depicting ted lasso in erotic situations depict having you know like the flesh stripped off his face. Well, snuff film.
Starting point is 00:44:45 Snuff film. Dominatrix SNM stuff with Ted Lasso. Yeah, but like, they don't want a sexual component to it. They only want just pain. That's a lot of... Only anger at Ted Lasso. They don't always know what they want.
Starting point is 00:45:03 No, fuck the fans. These stupid pigs, they'll take what we give them. Yeah. They will eat what I feed them. Whatever slop gets poured into the trough. Yeah, and honestly, for aspiring Grafstree on Top 50 podcasters
Starting point is 00:45:19 out there, even though we've locked down the list now and there's no way you're getting in now, that is the number one, uh, tip I have is just have absolute. And if you find yourself respecting your fan community or following or catering to their wishes, you're getting out of the water.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Yeah. Pack it in, pack it in, take your microphone and shoot it in the space. Cause it's going to do more good for you up there. And, and, you know,
Starting point is 00:45:44 and I, so what, you know, I, I just say, you know, die so what you know i i just say you know i think i want to return to like if i can't if i can't be in the top 50 of patreon being myself i'm not sure i want to be there at all so like yeah i think that like sticking to my roots of like having something entertainment based like ted lasso killing himilling him, yes, but having there be a sexual element involving the cartoon serial mascot. These are the fundamentals that we founded this
Starting point is 00:46:14 show on. This is, I think, what we all loved about this idea to begin with. And I think it's why you wanted to come on, Will. Absolutely. I love entertainment. I lovellywood i love handbooks you know and it's so nice to be a fan with like such deep knowledge of the show that's like that's really inspiring to see i know that's been well when it's like this guy wait this guy's
Starting point is 00:46:41 a fan of me it's awesome like i grew up it's like yes it's been it's been really fucking cool i hate to swear at you but oh thank you but something we're doing is giving the pinkertons power we either you're lying to us or something is happening because the pinkertons have returned and they're like thicker than they were if that makes sense like they're bored and i'm not able i tried to shove one of them a minute ago and he just he did not budge at all um so like and they're they've returned with live ammunition yeah the paddles they point they show me the handle of the paddle is uh is is a gut. And so it's like, I guess they spank you with the, with the fog,
Starting point is 00:47:28 you paddle. And then, um, you do get, uh, you do get assassinated at the end of that. But yeah, we do need to really like make sure that,
Starting point is 00:47:37 um, we're being really honest with one another, because I, I think if we're not, then that's the only way this thing can work. That's the only way this can work. So Kevin has prepared kind of a, like a call to action. We always do like at the end of every show, we're like, how, like,
Starting point is 00:47:54 what can you do this week to make it? Yes. That's so, it's so important. It's so important. It's not just about listening to podcasts. It's about just some random. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:03 It's like manifesting action in the real world and giving them assignment like a lot of the people that listen to this shit are dumb as a fucking rock like simple instructions of like go do this like go to the library and download the podcast onto all of the computers at the library. All we can really... A lot of that is a little too... We found that for our audience, basically all we can do is give them an address to drive their car into.
Starting point is 00:48:36 That's where... A structure or... These people are going to be crashing regardless. Let's have them crash into something that's actually productive. If they do have the address to Graftrion headquarters, where I am located, we may want to get this crashing. These machines are so loud, and the Pinkertons are getting very big.
Starting point is 00:48:59 One of them appears to be 9 or 10 feet tall now. So, Kevin, I think this is sort of our last chance opportunity. This call to action is going to have to defeat the Pinkertons, shrink them. Sorry, Chris, I'm about to start reading it. Yeah. One of the Pinkertons, he has just now entered the Evangelion, and it's going to be a problem. Oh, he's gotten into the Eva.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Oh, he just got into the Eva. He didn't want to pilot the ava he was too scared it's a pinkerton child and uh they've now they put him in the uh the plug and now he's in an ava oh and it's oh it's it's over for the protesters oh no kevin this you you will have to defeat the pinkertons Ava with your call to action now. Excuse me? Wow. We contain multitudes. You can be stupid and also follow directions.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Get in your car. Go to the... Wait, is that from Perks of Being a Wallflower? Yes. Okay. With the ezra stuff we sure like we don't want that like we don't want ezra like if we are like plagiarizing perks of being wallflower and ezra joins force ezra miller joins forces with the Pinkertons oh my god no the whole army of uh child soldiers that uh Ezra has been training to you know I mean yeah it's it's not good I mean they've got they got dead eyes they've got ear necklaces um they're they're hopped up on on speed um they're they're hungry they're hungry.
Starting point is 00:50:45 They're hungry for more blood. So you can keep going, Kevin, but we're going to cut the perks stuff. Excuse me. That's good. Enough is enough. Today, we make a difference. Bye.
Starting point is 00:51:03 Bye. Hollywood Handbook. We make a difference. Bye. Bye.

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