How Did This Get Made? - 12 Pups of Christmas LIVE!

Episode Date: December 9, 2022

Paul, June, and Jason watch the classic 2019 holiday movie—or is it a horror movie?—the 12 Pups of Christmas LIVE from San Francisco. They creepily whisper about the lunchbox-sized GPS collars, the titular pups being irrelevant to the plot, and how everyone in the film is probably in a cult. Plus, Paul frightens Jason and June with the ChatGPT AI bot's interpretation of a HDTGM episode.Buy Drop Dead Fred LIVE on Vinyl: https://hdtgm.bandcamp.com/Go to www.hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, and more.Follow Paul on Letterboxd https://letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: https://discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (https://www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: listen.earwolf.com/deepdiveSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to Find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is Not on Twitter

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me A tech company with lost doggies and a pet shrink We saw the 12 pups of Christmas, so you know what that means We saw the 12 pups of Christmas, so you know what that means We saw the 12 pups of Christmas, so you know what that means We are alive at the Masonic and we are so happy to be here tonight to talk about the 2019 film, The 12 Pups of Christmas We are going to go through this classic San Francisco film, a film that feels like sleepless in Seattle, meets Marley and me, and a whole bunch of other shit A pet psychiatrist from New York finds out her boyfriend, fiance, it's a little unclear because he doesn't even think to know that they're getting married

He's cheating on her, so she moves across country to work for a tech company here in San Francisco where they're putting GPS locators on dogs So no dog will ever go lost again, and guess what? True love, that's what happens Alright, so to help us break down this movie, please welcome my co-host, Mr. Jason Manzuga How we doing San Francisco? That's what I'm talking about Jason, 12 pups of Christmas, it's a comfortable chair, it's a real relaxed vibe Oh, I'm going to chill so hard, I drove here Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce somebody who is part of the reason why we're doing this movie tonight A person who's going to have a lot to say, my other co-host, June Diane Raphael

Positively bounding, bounding onto the stage June, I just want to take a moment here because very rarely do you and I find a film Normally Averill Halley finds all of our films, but last Thanksgiving you and I were watching TV, there was no cable to be found We stumbled upon this and we looked at each other and said, this is the movie, this is it, and this is us And I have to say, I'm so happy with this pick because this movie is a dream This is the best movie we've ever seen, this is a Christmas classic Oh, I agree, it's a Christmas classic, I did that thing where I wrote so many notes on the movie that I started to be like, oh no, I'll never get to talk about all of this I've written too much and there's too much gold in the middle of these notes, and then I was like, I'm going to have to curate these notes

And I was like, what am I talking about, this is the 12 pups of Christmas Jason, did you hear what we just said, we've seen this movie twice One when it was not a sign No, one was elective And I gotta tell you, re-watching this movie, it was love from first credit because the credits are like that Calypso font, that font that you never use in Microsoft Word Because it's too confusing, it's like, oh let's make it fun, it's a little too much Yeah, it's almost like it's a font for dogs By the way, no one's steal that, that's my next movie, Font for Dogs

About a typographer who only is friends with a dog and then he falls in love I would believe it if you told me this movie was intended for a dog audience That would make sense to me This movie is intended for an adult, sexy audience This movie plays like a sexual thriller from the 80s, like when we first meet Aaron It does? Oh my god, Aaron pops on screen Fatal attraction, jagged edge, 12 pups of Christmas

I mean, don't you think that first therapy scene with Aaron, I'm like, you're playing this a little too sexy for me It's like, it's too steamy as everybody's She's what I don't understand The movie? Well, I want to start off with her profession, canine therapist Because when I think of anyone who's like dealing with animals and dealing with behavior issues And dealing with their owners, you know, they're in jeans They've got a fanny pack on with treats in them

They're on the ground, to be quite honest That's what I want to ask They are putting the canine therapist in the position of, or in the environment of human therapy And my understanding is the canine therapist would be working with the owner and the dog in the world Or in their home Am I wrong? Wait a minute, is there a canine therapist, because San Francisco's absolutely rotten with them Is there a canine therapist in the house, or vet therapist in the house?

Just so we can have someone to go to License, please Yeah, license Anybody? I believe that canine therapists are called trainers Like they're dog trainers Like the way that these people are coming is like, oh my dog hates Christmas music First of all, these dogs have more issues with Christmas than anyone

And it seems like Erin also is like, ugh, I hate Christmas But yet, later on, she's fully decorated Listen, I actually do know, and I wish I thought to have her on, or have her call in But I do know, I do know a dog life coach I do Her name is Katya Friedman She has a podcast A dog life coach?

She's amazing And she is amazing, she has worked with us We are patients, customer clients I would understand therapists, I would understand so many things But a dog life coach to help the dog realize its dreams And its owners And its goals? To really, like, to really kind of curate our joint vision

Okay You know What does the dog want? She's amazing, though What do we want? Yes, she does work I guess this is what's different than a dog trainer You know, dog trainers are usually working on behavior with the dogs

And a dog life coach, again, the only one I know is Katya Friedman And she's absolutely incredible, hosts a podcast called The Animal That Changed You Anyway, put that over there for now But she is amazing and she does work with both human and dog Does she work like this? Like, in this scene right here? Is this character the one that's Carly's friend? Oh, is it?

Yes This is like a Maria Bamford character This to me is a Maria Bamford character I mean Watch it, watch it through that lens You can't leave us, Erin It's only because of you that my boys don't eat other people's meals Can you pause it when it gets to the font?

If I don't see you once a week I might not have a couch I mean I also feel like that's the font from friends Or from, like, suddenly Susan It feels like a font that might be in a dog food commercial Like, tasty biscuits You know, it's like there's, but here

So she is very upset that the therapist is leaving Anymore Jada, I'm so sorry I got a job offer that I can't turn down I'm Travis and I made this decision That a move would be really good for our relationship But I'm getting married on Monday at City Hall Why would you tell a patient this?

Here's my first headline about this movie Erin is a terrible therapist Erin is only interested in herself And I think, like every other person in this movie Is a psycho Yeah Erin Every character in this movie is a straight up psycho

What I really thought was, and this is my big theory on it And this is what I was trying to get to the bottom of I was like, is she an improviser? Because it felt like she went off book a lot I agree So here's what I'm gonna say about that And I guess we'll get to the love interest in a bit The boyfriend or the love interest?

The love interest Got it, great I don't remember his name Martin Martin What a crazy name for a love interest I found the chemistry between Erin and Carly to be off the charts Electric

Yeah Electric They were, I agree By the way, Carly, just the absolute MVP of this movie But when they're together, they've got the I feel like they're like dancing around the script When they get together, Erin comes alive She's alive with Carly

They're dancing and laughing and having emotions When she's with Martin, she's basically like It's this, you're a piece of shit You're a piece of shit You're a piece of shit Kiss You're a piece of shit You're a piece of shit

Fuck You're a piece of shit And of moves She's so miserable and a button Like she's so over it But I also feel like the movie makes no sense And then I'm also like, does your fiance know that you are getting married? Like because she's like, we're getting married on Monday

Like it's like, and it seems like It all seems like, oh right, right It's like a dinner plan, like we're going to Susan's on Saturday Oh right, yeah Yes, and then she has to stay there at one point And people get married because they love each other She, I want to just reiterate She's a mental health professional

And is picking up on no signs Taylor is there early What? Why is Taylor there so early? Wait a second, I want to, okay I want to pull that back a little bit Erin, get on the ball Oh, I want to do

Also, Erin appears to be seeing clients on Thanksgiving Well, that was my issue She saw three clients on Thanksgiving morning And then her instructions to her fiance were Re-heat up the turkey, heat up the turkey Not cook the turkey, like heat it up And then she's butt hurt She's so butt hurt when Travis and Erin have done it

And she's like, she's so passive aggressive She's like, the cooking is the best part And like, they did it, in my opinion I'm like, oh, they did a nice thing They were like, you were working on Thanksgiving So they did this stuff When were you going to eat? And also it seemed like the instruction she gave was

Heat up the turkey, warm it up They did warm up the fucking turkey They did it I'm team Travis and Taylor And then to add confusion This is all just the first two scenes And we won't leave New York We'll come back to talk about the San Francisco parts

We're just going to focus on New York tonight Because that's all we care about San Francisco You're goddamn town But then she gets in the cab And she's like, oh, can you change the station This Christmas music And the guy shouts back, the cab driver, New York cabbie They're pre-programmed

What? There's so many, by the way They're not on a fucking Disney ride The drivers in this movie, you never see You never see There's driver erasure happening And they just pipe in some VO When Martin and her are going around

To try to unload some of the pups There's that driver who's driving the SUV Like, never get to see him You get to see more of the car Pulling into a driveway Than you ever see of a driver driving that car Yes There's a lot of...

They're like, oh I have to say too I'm going to say something that's maybe controversial I don't think Aaron likes dogs June June I don't Yes, I agree

I'm going to piggyback off of that I don't think Aaron likes people Yes I think Aaron is bad at her job And is a bad person Well, what's really interesting is If her job is to kind of intuit What the dogs feel and want

Like, she's certainly missing The cues that Galileo's giving her Mr. G? Her dog is telling her shit is... Oh, sorry What? Goliath Goliath

June How dare you San Francisco has turned against you Goliath Goliath I feel like there is one moment in this movie Where I really feel like we understand who Aaron is And I'll talk about this in a second

Here we go We're going to have to get revenge on him I think we should He doesn't want to go to her We're going to rewind And we're going to rewind and start it again But I want you to watch how much You can't really tell what Aaron is saying

Because the words aren't actually coming into the air No, they go down her mouth They evaporate This is the movie that needs closed captioning Maybe the most And then there's Taylor who's like, I'm talking I was just thrilled, though, to be able to hear her Thank God for Taylor and Travis

And I do want to talk about Taylor for a while The sound man on this movie Or the sound woman on this movie Who had to be modulating between both of them He must have been going nuts Like, ugh But quickly, I just want to just, for one moment Just show you what I think

Is really going on inside Aaron's head So here we go, one second It was bad We're going to have to get revenge on him I think we should kidnap him And tie him up and tattoo his forehead And have him say, I'm a serial cheater Punch me in the face

Yeah, dad, I want to do that What? No, no I think that she did want to do that I wrote that down I think so, too That's the real... That's her

She wants to get revenge Tie him up and tattoo him on the forehead So he lives a life of torture It's fucking nuts Everyone is a fucking psycho Except for Carly, who is an angel Carly also is a psycho Carly's a psycho, Jason

Carly's a psycho Carly's an occult This whole movie takes place in a cult And if there's one thing I know about this cult This town's built on cults If there's one thing I know At least seven people in this room have been in a cult Raise your hand if you were raised in a cult

In this town Cowards, cowards I bet they're in the balcony, we can't see This scene's where she's where Aaron's being introduced To Doggon and the corporate culture there Are terrifying They play like a horror film Where they tell her over and over

That she's a part of their family Your family now Day one, your family This scene that we just watched here Paul, will you just play a little bit of it again? Just like... In this thing where she's saying Plotting her revenge and you know what we should do

Blah, blah, blah Don't you feel like inside of the scene There are even pictures Yeah, it was bad She's gonna turn around, remove her hair And it's gonna be Gabriel from Malignant Is gonna be on the back of her head That's where I feel

I feel like this movie is in the Malignant verse And I mean, look, this is... I don't know if these people are unhappy If they haven't found a home or whatever Because it seems like everyone's kind of broken Nothing is working for anyone Right? Like, I mean, even in San Francisco No one's really truly happy

Not even Wayne Is his name Wayne? Wally Not even Wally is happy I mean, listen, they're all working for a start-up That's bound to fail With a founder who is an actual idiot Yeah, this is...

There are... This is a massive tech start-up What an indictment What an indictment of the privilege of this white bro This white tech bro Whose greatest challenge is overcoming the loss of a dog He had as a child Who he assumes was dognapped

Dognapped He says dognapped I have never heard that He also is immediately gifted a new dog After the fucking golf of this guy But here's my question about his company And honestly, the mission Because I guess I have to wonder

Are they trying to build this GPS collar before chips? No, no, June June, this is 2019 Air tags are readily available And so are those tiles Remember tiles? We have an air tag on our dog as we speak And it's this big

The size of a quarter, maybe two, put together This is 29, this is not like 2005 This isn't a revolutionary idea Tile had been doing this for years It also feels like they should be smarter than this Because Carly has been at 9.coms She is an engineer, a tech guru, a programmer A social expert, and a graphic designer

It seems like she either got fired And she's working for her brother Who's a fucking idiot This is the patriarchy He is an actual idiot This is the patriarchy at work But Carly should own this company And it should already be IPO'd

Give me a fucking break, this guy's a dunce But also, they bring in the dog therapist And she figures out you should rename it That doesn't seem like what a therapist should be doing And she really, what she adds to it Has nothing to do with her background about dogs Not only that, but she is told Upon arrival that the success of the entire company

By both Carly and Martin She has told the success of the entire company And all of its employees, and apparently all of its puppies Are in her hands And right before the holidays And within one week, she saves it By the way, she does the whole thing at this volume She saves the entire company at this volume

That she notices though, anyone would notice Like if I brought my six-year-old there He'd be like, that's too big And that's what she says And it doesn't seem like he runs a fear-based company Although I do love when he's typing on a computer And you can clearly see the screen in the frame And it's black

This is what's so weird Is that you would think that she'd be saving the company Because of her connection to animals Because she's able to really draw the lines Between humans and animals But that's not why It's just basic brand narrative And just a marketing lens

And she's also there to give therapy The reveal at the end of the movie Which is fucking cuckoo-curu It's cute Is that Carly hired her to give therapy Because she thought she'll be perfect for my brother And give him therapy to make him better And you guys will fall in love

Carly is setting up a series of events That are an HR disaster From day one Erin is like, day one Erin is like Day one, Erin is like The boss is fucking hot Holy shit

The boss is hot To his sister And then it's like, uh-oh That's your sister? By the way, but when she said that She's like, ooh, that was your sister It's like, it wasn't like your wife It's like, would your sister be like

I don't know why it would be that embarrassing To tell your sister that your brother is hot There's a whole MTV show about it Dude, your sister's hot What she says is He is way better looking in person But Erin is at work just horny She also says

He seems brilliant He seems brilliant How do you seem brilliant from this Get in my office in ten minutes I also think Carly I don't know what Carly wants out of this I have to imagine Here's what I had to come up with

Because the movie didn't provide me with much I had to imagine that Carly had asked her own father To fund her brilliant start-up idea And he said, no The dad will come back later on Giving the oddest performance I've ever seen The dad feels like when they cast Mark Cuban in things It's like, hey, Mark Cuban's here

He's like, hey guys, I'm here Because I really like what you're doing Keep it up, you know, it's like It felt like he was some sort of a local celebrity Who was brought in to be in the film Or I was gonna say they were like Fuck, we didn't cast this part Uh, Gary from Craft Services

He'll do it, he'll do it, we'll put him in a suit It was just so strange I had to imagine that she asked him for funding At some point and he said, no Is the, okay, I need to know this Dog on The name of the company The company, the tech company

Hired a pet therapist For reasons unknown Because it is simply a caller based GPS based And I'm so sorry, Jason, Jason, Jason We really can't, and I know we're in San Francisco But I don't think we can call this a tech company Well, my question

Okay, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry No, no, no, that is my question When she gets there, it appears to be A dog hotel No, no, no, she says Welcome to the dog on hotel I'm just joking, she clarifies I'm just joking

I thought they also had a dog To be clear, there are a lot of dogs That are staying there I don't know why When those 12 pups, the titular pups Are pointless, they're not in They're not important to the plot of the movie You know how I know?

You know how I know? Cause midway through the movie The movie says, hey, Erin First the movie's like, Erin, you gotta find homes For these 12 dogs, or this company's gonna fail And I'm gonna put them to sleep, right? Martin is like, Martin's like I'm gonna murder these dogs unless you find them

A home by Christmas And then two days later, he's like Come with me to New York to save the company It doesn't matter, the dogs don't matter Who cares about the dogs? Taylor's back, she'll take care of the dogs What? What is this movie? But the crazy thing is

The crazy moment about that is First of all, the reason why there are 12 pups there Which you all know is because A lazy photographer left them After a photo shoot An ad agency So like, no one's got a Can we call up that ad agency

And just get them to take their fucking dogs? It's like the Balenciaga campaign When people are blaming the art department I'm like, I don't know It was so odd, so then they have these 12 pups And it's like, alright, dog therapist If you're such a good dog therapist Get rid of these dogs

Okay, and then He seemingly is gonna go bankrupt But yet, he's forced to deliver Every one of these dogs He should be working on that computer That has this thing And they're truly trying to play a He's a Scrooge, he doesn't like dogs

And then his heart opens Because she forces him to deliver puppies The other question I have for her Is shouldn't these people If you're a canine therapist Is it the first rule of thumb that Every owner should meet the dogs first Before they make a lifelong commitment to them?

This movie The movie is irresponsible Irresponsible The movie is Like animals, honestly, animals were harmed Balenciaga campaign Balenciaga campaign We've spoken about Aaron's

Measured tone And do you have clips of the moments when she Yes When she exhibits The only other emotional Pole that she seems to have Yeah I mean, would you watch the break up just for a second

Because this is pretty great Because here's the plan I would, honest to God I would re-watch this whole movie with you people Here right now It really is You guys You guys get it

You get it, you get it That's what I say This guy, next level I don't get from you What I get from Taylor Taylor's there Okay, so this is my issue Was the plan

I'm gonna break up with you And then when I break up with her Taylor, why don't you come in And you can explain your side of it And then Taylor's like Well, wait, do you want to do it on the way Do you want to do it on the way to the courthouse Or should we maybe do it on Thanksgiving day

Yeah, and should we let her get dressed In that wedding dress? I think it'll be more interesting to do it Right there Travis is a coward Who should have done this I mean ages ago Taylor should have said something

I feel like though Travis I feel like Taylor is there for the wedding Like I feel like she's supposed to be there I don't think she's You don't think so Like as their witness She's not dressed for it Someone said

And I think that's true She's not dressed for it Someone in the audience said Amazing Okay, then no She knew there wasn't going to be a wedding that day And so she storms off And let me just say one thing

If you've not seen the movie You have to know that our main character here Erin, played by Charlotte Sullivan Is carrying a dog in her Like her arm is always in like an L shape The dog is permanently in her Can I add to what you're saying This is a movie that is full of multiple scenes

Where people are having emotional conversations Both of whom are holding two puppies It is so funny and awkward To watch people hold wild animals While trying to act Alright, so here is Here is the first explosion of her There's the first time we get to see Erin pop off

This is a person coming undone Okay You pause for a second That's a point of view shot from the dog Just so you understand This movie has POV shots From the dog's point of view Which would have been so cool

If they had done something with it But once or twice, so it's odd It's like there's no patterns And I thought for sure Oh, this dog, Galileo Is gonna talk It's a point What's his name again?

You know what, actually I'm with you It's Galileo Eat shit, San Francisco For sure You don't correct us We correct you For sure Galileo

Is gonna jump and chomp on his balls And I wanna see it I'm ready for it And there's also here A clear relationship between Travis and Galileo That is fascinating Travis says on the way to get married After dating for three years

Why does he hate me? Like today is the day We're asking that question And the answer, Travis, is He smells other pussy on you Right And even if it's... Galileo gets it

But here's what's so weird about her I don't know, her approach to her work Her answer to that is Oh, he's really protective of me And I don't know everything about dogs But I'm like, I know a little And that's your fault, Erin Like you should be working day and night

To make sure that that dog Isn't overly protective of you That's your job Physician, heal myself Yes And I will say that... Look, here's the thing This guy has got a secret server

Full of women He's got... I know He doesn't even have an alternate email I love that He's got a server Like how many women do you need to be Fucking to have a private server?

I mean, and I don't even know what that means Really? It seems to me like when I hear a server It's like, that's like a corporation So you and I wouldn't even be on the same Wi-Fi? Is that what it means? It would mean that we'd be in a hot spot It would also...

Different computer setup Also, it would mean that Taylor is a hacker Taylor, I mean, like, Taylor? Taylor found Hillary's emails Like, to have a secret... Sam Fran? For Taylor to find his... Is everybody like a tech genius?

Sam Fran, is it normal for a person to have a private server? Also, do you guys like being called Sam Fran? I know I know you don't I know, because you guys like being called Frisco I literally... Every... Every post for this show, I made sure

Every post for this show, I made sure I never said Sam Fran Frisco, type it all out But, alright, so this is the first outburst Okay, sorry, yeah, this is her outburst I've been cheating on me with my best friend Okay I'm so sorry, Erin How long has this been going on?

Ow, ow How long has this been going on? Only six months Erin is a psycho By the way, also, this movie, Erin learns nothing That Erin's journey is not an arc It is a flat line And she's like a creepy person, you know

There's something very... She has a line where she says, and I think she's joking But who knows, with her cadence She says, it's nice to be with people who are alive Yes, but you know what that was? But you know what that was? This is why I think she improvised a lot Because I think there's a lot of work in there

Because she said, we're family And she said, oh, most of my family are dead So it's good to be with family who are alive Whoa She does say to Taylor at one point And, you know, Taylor has it coming And I do want to talk about Taylor's arc And the penance she pays, which is to...

I guess Taylor learns from the 12 Pups of Christmas Well, we don't see that movie We don't see it, but I think that... We need like a Rosencrantz and Guildernstern for Taylor We really do, because I'm like... Just as for Taylor I do think that Taylor... If I had done that to a friend

I do think Taylor is making the right moves Like just showing up and being like, I fucked up I need to make amends I need to make amends And Erin, you know, gives her an opportunity to do that Now, it is taking care of... At that point, I think only 10 Pups If you don't count Galileo, nine

They kind of mess up the math Because she goes, you need to take care of 13 Pups While I go out Then she gives away two Pups And she comes back and she goes, I've just been taking care of 12 Pups So one went away, but she gave away two And I don't know if Parvo hit or what But the number of Pups is coming and going

And why is Taylor carrying all of them? You don't need to carry them around Like children But she does say to Taylor She says to her when they're in the house She says, you are... I wrote it down Taylor, you've always been very weak

Taylor? She says it twice Erin's positioning and framing of this Isn't like, you're such a bitch How could you do this? She's like, you're weak You've always been weak That's saying, I've thought this forever

Ever, it's so chilling You've always been... Erin is a terrible friend Erin is ungenerous, unkind No, but Erin is awful Because even when she's on the flight with her You know, would-be-bo And he's afraid of flying

She's like, you're afraid of flying? Wings on fire And he's like, what? And he's like, I'm just joking you asshole, fuck you And he's like, oh And then he's like, you see, I got you over your fear of flying Like, ew, get out of here, you grosso It's too aggressive

She gets him over his fear of flying Also by calling him a piece of shit Yeah, that's what I'm saying She's like, hey, you're a piece of shit You stole my ideas, you pawned them off as your own You're a piece of shit And he's like, well, wait a minute, no, I didn't And then she's like, haha, just kidding

I got you over your fear of flying And it's like, she's playing games that are fucking nuts level But then... Like, psycho bullshit I was like, what? But then he basically says like, oh, were you kidding? And she's like, not really Like, it's like...

It's really strange Yikes! She is... That's like, it feels like a movie about a serial killer And... Yeah She does come off and I thought for sure Well, once we realized she was an orphan, you know, which I thought was coming

She had... Erin She's an orphan? Well, I think she's... Both of her parents are dead Jason, do you want to weigh in on this one? I don't think... She does tell a backstory story

About how, like... I think she's an adult orphan Like me Yeah, is that what it is? Oh, okay, oh, okay An adult orphan, okay She's an adult... You're right, yes

No, no, she wasn't like, like, all over twist She wasn't an orphan child I mean, maybe she was She was not like, can I have some more? Sorry, yeah, that's what I thought She might have been like an... I think she's an adult orphan And I guess orphan's not the right word

But she does have... No, no, no, I think you're right Yeah I do think that there's a trope in these movies Where, you know, adult orphans are portrayed as really, really sad That's only eight pups But unfortunately, what I think is supposed to come off as sort of sad And more connected to animals than people

Ends up coming off psychotic It's the way that she stares Yeah It's like the unblinking, unemotional It is Yes Except when she's with Carly Yeah

And then it's Papa Well, at the Christmas party At the Christmas party at the company house that they all live at Why do they all live in the same house? Is that what you guys do here? No I do think... I feel like this person over here was like, eh, kind of

I also really want to have a conversation with a costume designer Because the number of women under 60 who are wearing Christmas pins Is utterly insane Everyone has a sweater and a pin on I mean, let's watch a little bit of this Christmas party Because it's really good And I will say Does this include the jingle bells sing along?

It might You're part of our family now Everybody, Aaron's here Hi Hello Hi How are you? Good to see you

This is your new family Welcome to the family What? Pause for a second Everything, everything so far is from a horror movie By the way Everybody Psychotic

Everybody Aaron's here Hi Hi This is the trailer that we need to cut This is your new family This is Midsommar What?

Midsommar and this are similar in so many ways This just has more dogs This is terrifying I will tell you this much too I've seen the house There's no way to tell you The movie? The house?

The house... Yes, you were great I rented, rented, please But I've seen like the house isn't big enough to house The amount of people at this party That means that people are sleeping cult like In bunk beds Three bunk beds to a room

Six to a room And instead of everybody singing jingle bells They should all be like What do we do? What is this company? Yeah, and our... Is my check gonna clear next week They seem to be being paid in stock options

And happy with it But everyone comes to her with a problem Now watch this, here we go Family is past all It's so nice to be with people that are alive Can you pause for a second? Can you pause for a second? She's still whispering all her lines

They're at a party It's nice to be with people that are alive It's nice, it's so good I'm so happy to be here I'm so happy, it's so great I love it being here At one point, when she's cleaning up the dishes Carly says

Thank you, I'm so happy to be here It's so great to be here It's like someone's doing... I'm so grateful to be here I'm so grateful to be here It's so great to be here It's so great to be with you guys I love it, I love it

I'm so happy to be here I can't believe it It's everything so great It's the biggest thing Everything is so great Everything is so great I can't believe it Oh my God, everything is amazing

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life And again, we talk about this movie There's no continuity Because at one point, when she's cleaning up glasses Carly goes Now, that's a sign of a good guest Well, no, you live there That's your house

You're not a guest anymore You live here But here we go This is the end of the party scene That's like one of the only peaks The sound department was like, oh! I'll tell you the other thing I will tell you the other thing that I get with

Just to go to Erin again in her psychosis Because... I'm thinking about it now I would love it if this was like At the end of the movie, it was like a A Blumhouse reveal All they need is a little re-editing June, I want to ask your opinion on this as well

So when her boyfriend comes back When her boyfriend comes back into the picture At the end He basically puts his arm on her... He's like, I want you back And then the guy comes in and punches her ex And then when the cop comes in He's like, he had his hands on me

And I felt like she was trying to get him arrested And I don't feel like he was attacking her Or even really aggressively touching her I thought he had both hands On either side It was grabby for sure But then Travis says... Not to Paul

Then Travis says... She assaulted me That's where I was like Whoa, whoa, Travis, what are you up to? But I just felt like she really was like trying to... I felt like she was trying to get him jailed For this I know we can make this work

I love this woman Want to know everything about her Another Maria Bamford character By the way, listen to the music under the fight scene It's like curb your enthusiasm kind of horns The movie is all public domain music Or silence Tell it to the judge

But she's not brought in as a witness So it's just the two guys who fought But not the third party You want her to go to jail? No, for her to testify Wow, you're saying lock her up? Paul is saying lock her up Lock her up

Wait, what? Paul? I was just saying that I felt like she should be able to be there To at least tell her side of the story In jail? To the cop No one took a statement No one took a statement, but I don't know where his partner was Also, the cop is going to arrest both of these guys

Tell it to the judge Who's pressing charges? That's what I'm saying Who's the aggrieved party? And why is she so surprised that she's got That he's her boyfriend when he left a note like this? Okay, is this note framed? It is

I mean, it seems some sort of... Because at first I thought he took the menu That's what I think he did do It looks like that's what he's done Okay, but what a weird choice the movie makes here Well, they're just in New York Staying at the San Carlos Right, just let him write a note

Like why put it in the frame Or take out the frame Like maybe that was the Wi-Fi and password Also, see you downstairs See you downstairs? You're an amazing woman I cannot wait for our future See you at breakfast

Like this? This is the note where you're like, oh, I was drunk Oh, I hooked up with an idiot Why did I do this? He is a true... And I did really enjoy his performance Because it's like, oh, he's an actual idiot, you know? And by the way, June...

It was refreshing June, that's Aaron's type That's true Aaron dates morons I do think Aaron's kind of an idiot too But she's one of those idiots that's like I want to be in a relationship Or I can feel like I'm the smart one

Yeah But everybody else is like, you're both idiots Wait, I'm also remembering when they're falling in love And telling their backstory She's like, I grew up on Staten Island Every day I took the ferry to school Wait, you took the ferry to school? Staten Island's bigger than...

You grew up on Roosevelt Island So it's like, there's not a single person in Staten Island That talks like this Yeah There's... I'm from Staten Island No, you're not from Staten Island I took this...

My commute to school was three and a half hours Yeah Like, if you grew up in Staten Island, you screamed She dated Pete Davidson Left Staten Island Found his other guy Boy, would I love that Boy, would I love that

And by the way, if you're from Staten Island Throw out a Wu-Tang Clan reference Come on Protect your neck From Staten Island Give me something Tell it to the judge, I wrote Tell it to the judge

The cop kept saying, tell it to the judge It made me laugh So, tell it to the judge Tell it to the judge Tell it to the... What? Come on It doesn't even seem like they get tried

It doesn't even seem like that's part of it The only chemistry in this movie Like, straight up is Aaron and Carly, period The only... The only couple, though, that I'm interested in Taylor and Carly Give me that forever Let Taylor and Carly be a couple

Let them raise all the pups Taylor and Carly? I want it I'm shipping... Taylor and Carly? I'm shipping Taylor and Carly Do they even have a scene together? They know, but they are the only normal people

In the movie, according to me No, Taylor's not normal I do think Taylor's psychotic as well Well, this is a movie where everybody is psychotic Of course Carly is not psychotic Yes, of course she is, babe Of course she is

She hired Aaron just to fix her brother Who's her boss, even though Carly is clearly a genius And Martin is... Carly is not a genius Martin is like a... Martin is like a Dutch wooden shoe A sabo? Is he a sabo?

He's a sentient clog This dude is a fucking dunce Times a million I mean, again, all... She could have brought so many things to the table The thing that she... Like, he didn't figure out that dog gone And I love that he goes like that

She's like, let's rename it Dog and found We don't like that And he's like, animal tracker And then someone goes, oh, it rhymes with animal crackers I like it Yeah, agree That's the thing, everybody's an idiot

Everybody's an idiot This is a movie I think this movie is for people at home to feel like Oh, I'm smarter than them At least I'm smarter than them And they're millionaires When she arrives at Dog On And they're, like, hooking up collars to dogs

That appear to have, I don't know, lunchboxes attached to them People and scientists are in lab coats But in the middle of the office So it doesn't seem like that's a sterile environment And it also seems that they don't need to have the dog in a sterile environment To put the collar on Anyway, I just wanted to put this one scene up Because we can see the relationship between these two people

It's my fiance here You know, he's kind of like, dump me on my wedding day Deep coming Can you pause for a second, pause? Can you hear her? My fiance They sound like the quiet place monsters, right? She would be the one that would actually survive in the quiet place, no problem

It's like when you're on the Amtrak quiet car And you see a couple get into a fight I just said, I just, what? I just, you don't understand, you should have stood up for me when your mom said that I don't understand, your mom is clearly belittling me Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, come on, babe I know Carly's got all the earrings

You knew? Oh, no, I don't know, I don't know Please no pause it for a second, look at that dog Four dogs, four dogs, four dogs And this is the only time, this is the only time I can legitimately say Look at those sweater puppies, and I'm talking about those puppies At this point in the movie, I thought, for sure Because when I say we watched this movie twice, we really watched, I think, half of it

The first time, I fell asleep, so I didn't see the second half I saw all the way up to the fight Okay, so I, up until, during this scene, I was like, I think that Carly's like an elf That's what I thought, whenever he's rewatching, he's gonna be Santa Well, let's talk about that So, we find out, although we already know, because they don't do a great job of hiding it That he's playing Santa Claus To a bunch of

Orphans? Yeah, kids, he's repeated what he needs to hide He repeatedly arrives at work in a Santa costume Quite often, and I think year round And, when he's in, and multiple times in the elevator with Aaron He also inexplicably just doesn't talk As if Santa doesn't, as if that's like a private moment That's why I thought, he kept on saying, I need to get it done by Christmas Eve

Because he was Santa, and this is gonna be the gift that Santa was gonna give to all the dog owners of the world And then his sister was an elf who was like, Santa needs love Because he's so obsessed with getting toys for other kids So that's the story I was following Well, and also what's, well, okay, to your credit I want to piggyback off of exactly what you said, because I do think the movie is suggesting that Because it puts Aaron in the Mrs. Claus red suit

And she says, I'm a Mrs. Kringle or whatever I'm a Mrs. Kringle or something like that And there is a way in which the movie is, wow The movie has all of the ingredients for a movie that could have worked But it really isn't interested in doing any of it Like, it's about Aaron and it's about a Mrs. Claus finding a Santa Claus And who's a Scrooge who needs the 12 pups of Christmas Every one of them is a stage of the cross for Jesus Christ

Obviously Right, the 12 stations of the cross Obviously Christ, he has to walk the stations in order to be crucified He dies for our sins Amen Put Christ back in Christmas, people If we give you one message tonight, that's the one to leave with

We've always said it This is what we're talking about The 12 pups of Christmas, the 12 stations of the cross Anyway, the 12 pups of Christmas could have been how we get from Scrooge to Santa To Mrs. Claus And instead they're like, we gotta go to New York So you can pitch the Asian businessman where they play weird Asian music in the movie Terrible

Which is next level offensive 2019 There is a gong in the movie This movie has a gong sound effect And again She's so good with people or whatever But she doesn't understand that this man is not She's pitching for 20 minutes before she realizes that he does not understand

I like to believe that they shot that scene And cut it, because they were like, it's offensive Before we go out to the audience, I want to do something that we've never done here Give up So I don't know if you have, if you've been hearing about this, but there is this AI bot Okay, and so what, oh, you got so scared Yeah, what did you do, Paul?

All right, so this AI bot, you type in a question And the AI bot will give you an answer And so our producer, Scott, typed in a question Can you please write a script scene of how did this get made Of the podcast host discussing the movie 12 pups of Christmas Live in front of an audience in San Francisco Wait, you can, wait, this is real? Not understand

So this is Jason's script pass at the Jason What? This is June's script pass at the June I'm not going to look at this I'm not going to look at this until I'm on camera I will read stage directions here and we go Interior, San Francisco Theater Night Paul, Jason and June are standing on stage

Paul, can I pause it for a second? The bot wrote this? Yes, I'm totally serious That's what I'm wondering I have two scripts The bot wrote even this Yes, everything Okay, got it, got it, got it

Interior, San Francisco Theater Night Paul, Jason and June are standing on stage In front of a large audience Welcome to How Did This Get Made Live from San Francisco Shut up I have a line Tonight we're going to be discussing

The holiday movie 12 pups of Christmas I have to say, I was not expecting this movie As bad as it was The title itself is ridiculous Yeah, then when you actually watch it There are only six puppies in the entire movie And the plot is just all over the place It's like they threw in every holiday movie cliche

They could think of Right, the poor dog acting was also a major distraction I've never seen such poorly trained puppies on screen And let's not forget about the villainous real estate developer Who wants to tear down the mansion and build a mall It's just so over the top But the worst part has to be The terrible Christmas songs they play throughout the movie

It's like listening to your drunk uncle sing Jingle Bells at a family gathering But with the puppies humping each other instead How does the AI know I'm the pervert? Jason, that's not appropriate Yeah, let's try to keep it clean, Jason Sorry, sorry, I got carried away That's alright

Now on a more serious note Jun and I actually have a funny story about our marriage And 12 pups of Christmas Right, so we were watching the movie In our first Christmas together as a married couple And we were both so disappointed by it That we ended up getting into a huge argument And then in the heat of the moment

We both just started barking at each other Like puppies in the movie But then out of nowhere We heard a knock on the door and it was a pizza delivery guy And he looked at us Like we were completely insane Standing there barking at each other Like a couple of lunatics

It was so absurd But it ended up breaking the tension And we started laughing about it Yeah, it's one of those moments that we look back on now We can't help but chuckle Exactly, and it's a reminder That even the worst movies can bring us closer together Thanks for joining us tonight

We'll see you next time on How Did This Get Made I am so confused For real What? For real, I don't understand this Don't get it So we put it in again We said, let's see what it comes up with for a second time

And we'll just In this one, the audience is in here a little bit more Here we go Interior San Francisco Theater Night Paul, June, and Jason are on stage Microphones in hand As they discuss the 12 Pups of Christmas

So, what did everyone think of this movie? I thought it was absolutely ridiculous Yeah, I mean, I can't even imagine How this idea came about Let's make a Christmas movie About 12 puppies that saved the day Audience laughs And the thing is, it's not even a good Christmas movie

I mean, there's no romance, no heartwarming moments Just puppies doing silly things And the acting is terrible I don't think any of those puppies were actually trained To do the things they were doing Speaking of things being trained Did you guys hear the one about the guy who trained his dog To give him oral?

The audience laughs This bot gets me Okay, Jason, let's keep it PG, please Sorry, sorry But seriously, this movie is so bad You know what's even worse? The fact they made a sequel Oh, God, don't even get me started on that

But speaking of sequels Did you guys know that Jun and I Actually got married on the set Of the sequel to this movie? Audience gasps Yeah, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing We were both so fed up with the production That we just decided to elope

And the best part? We exchanged our vows While a bunch of puppies were running around our feet And the audience laughs Yep, it was a pretty ridiculous day But hey, at least we have a funny story to tell now And a terrible movie to look back on Definitely, but hey, that's what makes it so perfect

For how did this get made I don't know about all this I'm unsettled I feel like, I feel revealed I feel vulnerable right now I do too, and I don't like this It's so interesting Each of the scripts is thirds, right?

The first third is we're talking about the movie The second third is I say something gross You guys correct me And the third third is your guy's marriage That's both scripts or that That's fucking crazy I'm freaked out right now What is this, Paul? Why did you do this?

This is what Scott found, he said everyone's talking about it All right, I'm going to go out to the audience right now All right, sir, your name If you have a dog name, you can give me that The one that would be great for 12 Pups of Christmas And then your question Damani and then maybe Missalto I like it, that's great

Ooh, I love that So, I'm trying to make sure I understand this correctly Carly, so she accepts the job in San Francisco Before she knows that her fiance is going to break up with her Is that correct? That is... So Carly is... Erin

Yes, yes But Carly has hired her Even though she knows she's married to come date her brother Yeah, you see, that was my issue Oh, I think she's... Wow, yeah She said at the end of the movie She said I did my research on you

And I knew that you were divorced Because when she says... Okay, you know what though, Paul I think Carly is so brilliant And I think Carly probably has already hacked into that private server Maybe Wow She's a CEO nine times

Yeah, Carly Carly's a hacker We just missed the scene where she hacks Hugh Jackman To wrap rock and figures out that Erin's been dumped Here we go, your name, question, dog name, dog question My name is Reagan, dog name Holly Berry My question is, at the very end of the movie The angel investor who comes in and saves the company

Is his dad who he met in jail? And you didn't know that his dad was a billionaire? Well, yeah, I was confused about that too I was gonna ask him, did I miss something? Oh, I think his dad came and bailed him out of jail Oh Yes, but it was really confusing The way it was set up as the one you met him in jail

No, no, I agree And I agree that that was a... I mean, listen, are you suggesting the movie is not well written? Or is confusingly written? Absolutely But it seemed to me that he was saying his dad came to bail him out from jail Dude, it's so interesting that the dad didn't join the first round of funding But was like, now that the company's in this position, I'm in But also...

Well, he believes in the tech now But frankly, I'm with the dad I'm with the dad, that other product was not good I wouldn't have invested in it either I guess, I guess I mean, Martin is dragging Carly down with him I do... San Francisco, I hate to do this I've had so much fun

I do have to get on a flight back to LA And I know this is a huge disappointment I know, I know We have our wonderful nanny who has given birth So we are desperate in child care situations So that's why June is going to go back And I'm going to figure out how to get back there in a couple days So sorry to leave you

And if Paul doesn't come back, enjoy him, San Francisco Enjoy Paul Sheer Obviously, we had an opinion about this movie But there are people out there with a different opinion It's now time for Second Opinions A review page of Amazon Here's my second opinion The movie's great

How could you hate a therapist for dogs? And in this weird tech start-up There's no one in HR I'm better with dogs than people So I'm a gift by star Amazing! Amazing Christmas spirit Great work, great work

Very festive Alright, so there are 93 total reviews 59% are five-star 10% are one-star We'll read some of those one-stars as well But this one is written by Anonymous May 22nd, 2020 I love this movie

The hacker group? I think so I would love it If that's Anonymous If that's part of what they were up to It's just leaving Amazon reviews for holiday movies You work hard, you play hard Anonymous writes

Love Charlotte Sullivan in this movie So good Love her You're being real pervy with this voice See her Wait, hold on I love... I love this movie

Charlotte Sullivan is so good in this movie I love her See her Be her Self-shy And see her different role Than rookie blue Love her as Gail Peck

On she is one of my favorites Of the show besides Aliyah O'Brien The one who played Tracy and Chloe Dove And Oliver and Captain Noel Happy face Applause, applause Thumbs up Star, star, star, star, star

I could watch this over and over again Like buy it on DVD Own it now We'll go to DVD DVD emoji DVD emoji Now, that's a weird review But, as our producer Scott pointed out

Three people clicked that review as being helpful Wow Here You keep reading I'm sorry I'm gonna go P Great See you right back

Okay, got it And then this one right here is From Heather McKenzie Not afraid to use her full name It's a one-star review And the title is Not a feel-good Christmas movie The lead character is a bitter,

spiteful, juvenile person Who's a canine therapist She insists that dogs are intuitive To human feelings And yet, she's not a happy person I would not take my lab to her Because they would come back Like Oscar the Grouch

The puppies are cute, though One star Applause And what I'll mention here is Another one of our producers, Molly She points out that she has a friend Who is a background artist in this film And all the San Francisco scenes were shot in LA

It was all shot during the summer And the actors were very uncomfortable In their winter clothes They did shoot some scenes in New York City But also, it was summer Because people in the background Are wearing T-shirts and shorts At one point behind the lead actors

You see two jet ski riders go by Applause And finally, this director Michael Felter Seems to have taken a sharp pivot With this film As his earlier films were Bundy, A Legacy of Evil

Boston Strangler, The Untold Story Ed Gein, The Butcher of Plainfield Chicago Massacre Colin, Richard Speck And BTK But once he did make this movie We did get to see a different side And we are now going to get to show you

Some of that different side Because he also directed The Dog Who Saved Christmas The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation The Dog Who Saved the Holidays A Christmas Wedding Tale A Dog's Christmas Miracle And a Golden Christmas Three

So, when you talk about the greats Kubrick, Spielberg Put Michael Pfeiffer in there From serial killers to just dogs Having fun at Christmas The movie came out in 2019 The tagline is, this Christmas Brings a little puppy love

And there's no tomato meter rating here But Jason, I think that you, June, and I Can all agree, this is a must watch Absolutely I mean, this one Again, we didn't get to so many Of the notes that I made Which is always for me the case

In a movie that I truly Thoroughly enjoyed for what we're doing I'm looking at this thing and I'm like We didn't talk about this, we didn't talk about this I love that this movie is Absolute dog shit, literally The scene we briefly mentioned They're falling in love in New York

And the winter scene is like Shot clearly in summer I wrote down, there is no chemistry Between any of these people I wrote down tell it to the judge so many times I wrote down one line that I really Wanted to talk about where she arrives At the Christmas party and goes

I forgot it was Christmas What? This company deserves to fail Before we get out of here, I want to tell you Two quick things, one thing is this Drop Dead Fred, one of our biggest episodes One of the most divisive episodes of all time Team Fred, where are we at?

Team Sanity, where are we at? San Fran at Sanity Town Team Sanity getting a lot of cheers In San Francisco We are making a limited edition vinyl album You can pre-order it before Christmas It won't probably come until May because We're making one pressing and then when it's done

It's done, that's it, you have to order By December 21st, go to hdtgm.bandcamp.com There's a lot of nerds who did our poster That some of you might have gotten here Is going to do original art for the album Labels themselves This is fucking cool everybody

This is for nerds, but this is great stuff Especially if you are on board for what is I believe inarguably one of the best episodes Of this dumb show One of the most insane ones, I mean there it was One of the most argumentative ones of all time That you can hear Casey Wilson's vocal chords Pop

During the show because she injured her vocal chords Screaming so much It was amazing and one of the few times that we Regret not having people take pictures during the show Because we need more documentation And we have so little of it But it was masterfully engineered By Devon Bryant, our producer

Who is with us here tonight as well Recording the show, an amazing addition to this team An amazing producer, editor, engineer One of the greats, give it up for Devon! And I would be remiss if I didn't mention this But this is not announced yet But I figured we're all cool, we can talk about it here On December 16th and 17th

Rob Hubel and I are hosting a show that we created Called Celebrity Garage Sale Where we are giving away a Hyundai On Twitch, the first time it's ever been done And we are having insane guests on there Like Randall Park and Janelle James Poopies from Jackass Oh my gosh, I'm blanking on so many people

Carl Tartt and Nicole Byer Oh my gosh, I'm blanking on... What's the Hyundai? The Hyundai, that one Oh, I'm sorry, I should have looked back Yeah, we're giving away a big car And the whole idea of the show is that Celebrities come on and maybe even Jason will come on

They'll bring an item, anything from their house And then you'll have a chance to bid on it You don't have to use real money And then we'll give it to you, we'll send it to you So you can get weird celebrity shit Like Randall Park, this is the t-shirt I wore to propose to my wife If you guess the price of it, you get it I don't think you can get that

Is that what he's bringing? We were hypothesizing these are things that you could bring That would be amazing I'd love to own something that someone proposed to someone I think, with Caitlin Olson will be there It's gonna be just jam-packed, full of people bringing in on items And we're gonna co-host with Eva Anderson Who is our appraiser, she will dictate the price

Amazing And then the final end will be giving away this car So it's like one part antiques road show Yes One part celebrity auction Yes Got it And the only thing we can't give away are, they said

Don't give away any weapons or anything living So we couldn't give away 12 pups of Christmas here That's too bad because I was gonna bring a sentient AK-47 See, this is what I'm saying Alright, well thank you San Francisco Photoshop puppies in our hands Puppies, June, everything Thank you so much, we'll be back

Bye-bye Eat shit!