How Did This Get Made? - A View to a Kill LIVE! w/ Matt Gourley and Matt Mira (HDTGM Matinee)

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

In a very special podcast cross-over event, Bond experts Matt Gourley (Keys To The Kingdom) and Matt Mira (The Goldbergs), hosts of the podcast James Bonding, join Paul, June, and Jason to figure out if A View To a Kill is the worst Bond movie of all time. Recorded LIVE at Largo in Los Angeles, they cover how Bond invents snowboarding, the most French man in the world, Tanya Roberts’ stunt double being a grizzly old man, the multiple blimps, racehorses, the robot dog, and of course, the butterflies. Plus, Gourley & June’s Wigdar shines during audience Q&A, and we hear from the person who reviews A View To a Kill every year in another edition of 2nd Opinions! (Originally Released 12/12/2014) Tix for our Spring 2025 tour in Austin, Denver, Seattle, Boise, San Fran, Portland, & Los Angeles are on sale now at hdtgm.com.Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of TraumaFor extra content on Matinee Monday movies, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerTalk bad movies on the HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul’s movie recs on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out new HDTGM movie merch over at teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmPaul and Rob Huebel stream live on Twitch every Thursday 8-10pm EST: www.twitch.tv/friendzoneLike good movies too? Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastWhere to find Paul, June, & Jason:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on social mediaGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm.

Hey everybody, today is a live episode of How Did This Get Made, which means there might be some things in it that are visual, there might be some things that sound quality issues, whatever, and what I say to you is deal with it. It's a free fucking podcast. Okay, and also wanted to let you guys know that my new Adult Swim infomercial is up online.

Just type into YouTube, Frank Pierre presents Frank Pierre's Resort and Casino Hotel. Anything like that, Frank Pierre presents. I hope you enjoy it. It stars the amazing Ray Wise. Enjoy the live episode, enjoy that. Let's do it. He's armed.

He's dangerous. He's geriatric. In a movie that makes as much sense as its title, we saw a view to a kill. So you know you want more heart-wrenching? Let's follow in the mediocrity of some color art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made? Hello, people of Earth!

And hello, people of Largo. We are in our Los Angeles home, Largo at the Coronet Theater, one of my favorite best theaters in Los Angeles. Thank you guys. Give it up. Very excited for tonight. We are getting into the canon of James Bond.

So many movies. So, well, a lot of them are good, but a lot of them are bad. Um... Let me introduce my co-host. Please welcome June Diane Rayfield. Please welcome her. Hello.

How are you June? I'm doing well, thanks. Please welcome Jason Manzukis! What's up jerks! And in a very special pod. Do you want me to start it? Yeah, you want to. Hold on. In a very special podcasting crossover event,

very similar to the night when everyone had a blackout, like on Friends and Seinfeld and Caroline and the City. We have our two, two guests today from the James Bonding podcast, please welcome Matt Myra and Matt Doreley. Matt. Matt. Matt.

Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt.

Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. For those of you who cannot see this, which is a lot of you, they are in full tuxedos. And honestly, for those of you who can't see it, so are Jason Juninon. And Gurley has a James Bond of you to a kill mug. No, not mug, glass. That's like a glass that was given out at Arby's, I imagine.

So Arby's was handing out licensed highball glasses? If there's a God in heaven. Guys, I'm very excited to have you here as you are fans of James Bond. Ultimately. I would go so far as to say experts. Well this is very good. Would you say, and your expert opinion, because this is a question that I had about picking this movie, is this the worst James Bond movie? By the worst do you mean the best?

Well look, this is honestly the movie that I, like this is my first James Bond movie. We're talking about this backstage. I remember, like the first one I saw was a child. So, sorry, I just watched the anger. What? Were people just indignant and had missed 15 previous movies?

This just turned into judgment at Nuremberg. Somebody was basically like, fuck you, Paul. There was a period of time when I remember telling my dad, like, oh, I don't want to watch a Sean Connery James Bond. Roger Moore's the best. Like, I didn't understand. I didn't get it. This movie is ingrained in me, every scene was great, and I know that a lot of people go,

this may be the weakest, and other people believe that license to kill is the weakest. Where do you guys fall in? Thunderball? Oh, yeah. That's a two hours of being underwater and fighting slowly. That's a good call. Personally, I'm in the same boat as you.

I was, this is in my DNA, this movie. I was raised on this movie. I saw it so many times in the theaters, and then it was on cable for what seemed like years on constant loop. And so much so, like the Duran Duran music, that was associated with me liking girls in middle school, which then I associated with Tanya Roberts and Grace Jones,

and so now I only like mulattoes that fight jujitsu. And it's just... Wait, so in your mind, Tanya Roberts and... The same woman. The same woman. They turn into your ideal female partner. Absolutely. Everything about me.

So they could not act at all. This movie is my origin story. You are going to be alone forever. Because the woman you are looking for is impossible to find. Unless I actually land Tonya Roberts and Grace Jones, which isn't entirely impossible, I think. They're both on Tinder. I just imagine them sadly swiping right, just waiting, waiting.

Oh, look at this. Who's this? Grace? No thanks. Now, June, I want to, June comes from a different perspective on James Bond. Where does, like, now how many James Bond movies have you seen? Oh. Yeah. Including this one, I've seen three. Okay. And I showed you the other two in the last six months. That's correct. That's correct.

No, the last two years. Two years, okay. So you've seen Casino Royale and Skyfall. And the Daniel Craig Casino Royale. Yes, not the Woody Allen one. Yes. Or the CBS made for TV black and white movie. Well yeah, this is obviously the first time

I've seen this movie, so I'm coming at it from a real different perspective. The proper perspective, probably. Well I think I'm just watching it, like I have no kind of emotional, historical connection to it. I'm just watching it as a movie, and that was interesting.

What did it do? How did it hold up against that criteria? Is this a movie? Yeah, on paper. It's on film. Yeah, I just, being younger, I don't think it occurs to you how old Roger Moore is.

57. He's 57. He celebrated his 57th birthday during the filming of this movie. He doesn't look a day over 56, though. It's incredible. He's looking good. He seems older than 57.

Yeah. If that's, if you, cause here's the thing, the reality is if you had been like isn't it crazy he's 68 in this movie, I would have been like yeah. And if you had then been like isn't it weird he's 73 in this movie, I'd be like I believe that as well. That's how bad he looks for his 57 years. If you think about Tom Cruise hanging off of a skyscraper and he's 50 years old. how bad he looks for his 57 years. If you think about Tom Cruise hanging off of a skyscraper

and he's 50 years old. Yeah, Liam Neeson is kicking ass all over the place and he's, I don't know what, a very old age at this point. He's fighting wolves and he's well into his 60s, I believe. Well, and the fights are slow. Oh yeah. Like they're so slow that like you're like.

They're age appropriate. Yeah. That taken should look like this by all intents and purposes. Taken to there are some pretty slow fights. If that movie's taken this movie's just given. Jason, where do you fall, I'm sorry just to get us all on the same page, where do you fall on the James Bond, like were you a James Bond, where do you fall on the James Bond? Were you a James Bond fan?

I was a medium James Bond fan. Not super into James Bond, but I certainly watched, like my first James Bond, I'm older, I believe it was Moonraker. That was the first one that I remember being like, oh yeah, I'm into this, this is cool. He's only 54. Yeah.

Exactly. Moonraker, in case you don't know, is James Bond in Outer Space. Yep. I was like, I'm on board for this. And then I watched some of the Sean Connery ones because they were always on TV. I thought they were fine.

I hated Timothy Dalton. Hate. I agree. Do you see? Look at how that divides them. I was the kid who was the nerdy kid who was like, well, if they had let him out of his Remington Steel contract, Pierce Brosnan would be the perfect James Bond.

I was also on board. Me too. I'll go on. I'm not a, I just, uh. His James Bond then eventually though is terrible. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Because by the time he got there, he was almost 57 years old.

Yeah, too old. By the time they let him out of that Remington Steel contract. Yep. Just think of what we could have had. We could have had young Pierce Brosnan as Bond and we could have had young Tom Selleck as Indiana Jones. If television executives had been smart. Well, the beautiful thing about Pierce Brosnan is that he was walking out the door to the

press conference to announce that he was James Bond because NBC had until that day to renew Remington Steel and his phone rang and NBC was like oh we're gonna pick it up we got good nose so he hangs up the phone and just puts his keys down that would be like if MacGyver was heading to set and they're like hey Indiana Jones is in the bag, don't worry. Wait, what? How is that like that? Because Brosnan's Remington Steel was like if MacGyver was Indiana Jones.

It's the poor man's James Bond, you know what I mean? Okay. I don't see that. I've never seen Indiana Jones do anything with gum. Well, you have a point there. All right, let's get into this movie. The first thing that strikes me is I've seen every Bond film. This is the first one that like the title card comes up and goes, the name Zoran is

not associated with anyone. This did not happen, which makes me go, did it? Do you know why? I can tell you why. Zoran, I think it was spelled like Z-O-A-N, was a cosmetics manufacturer, and they're like, well, we can't get sued by a cosmetics manufacturer, so we have to label this.

I like knowing that Christopher Walken could have been a misconstrued cosmetics manufacturer. In this movie, he could have been. Yeah, he could have been, misconstrued as a cosmetics manufacturer. In this movie, he could have been. Yeah, he could have been by the way. His business portfolio is so varied. Horses. As to include microchips, horses. Oil. Oil pipelines.

Lymphs. Yeah, obviously, blimps. Yes. Oh, obviously airships. And by the way, there are multiple blimps in this movie. Yes. There's just not one blimp. This movie is drowning in blimps.

To the point where Paul and I watched the movie together and I feel like about 45 minutes in, we had about a 15 minute discussion just about blimps. While the movie was playing like, so how do blimps work exactly? It's really a giant balloon, isn't it? I understand, it's like, I would be scared to go in a blimp.

I'm glad to hear that you guys watch together. This is a movie for lovers. Uh, like that Matthew McConaughey quote from Dazed and Confused, the girls keep on getting younger, but he stays the same age. And I feel like, or something, I know it bastardizes. By the way, fucking total McConaughey right there. Nailed it.

Nailed it. Fucking I need to buy a Lincoln. People on the podcast were just like, holy shit, McConaughey's there. Yeah. All right, all right, all right. Um... LAUGHTER MUSIC PLAYS All right, all right. Um...

They make no attempt to make the girls age appropriate in this movie, even by like going, they're in their 30s. Like they are all young and he looks like he can be the father. Well this is the one where, his story is why he hung it up after this one is because he was literally older than Tanya Roberts' mother at this point. And they talked about it on set, and I think that's when he finally went, I'm done.

But now, they just announced one of the new Bond Girls is Monica Bellucci, and she's 50 years old, and it's fantastic. Very good. I think three years older than Daniel Craig, and the oldest Bond Girl by far, and so it just shows you how times have changed. It's fantastic. She's, I think, three years older than Daniel Craig and the oldest Bond girl by far, and so it just shows you how times have changed. It's great.

Gross won't see. All right, guys, did you know? Gross won't see. According to this movie, Her name is Mena. Mena Paws. Right? What?

Hutt. Hutt Flash. That's her character name. Yeah, these are all character names. Manna, pause, and Hot Flash. By the way, this movie has the laziest name of, all the Bond girls have these kind of punny names, and this, the girl's name is Jenny Flex. What does that mean?

It's like they were literally out of name, so they were like, fuck, Mayday? She's flexible in bed. Pussy galore to Jenny Flex. That's coming off the heels of Octopussy. Yeah, so yeah, they really were hitting the bottom. So James Bond opens up in a snow scene and where he invents snowboarding.

Yep, he sure does. These people know, these people understand and they appreciate. I felt like this opening scene is like, as if they were like, well, let's just let Warren Miller direct this. Cause it's all like half assed shredding guitar to like terrible ski footage.

But it's also- Wait, wait, wait, not shredding guitar. They put the fucking Beach Boys in there. No, it's not. They even like a re-recorded version of it. But it's not even David Lee Roth's cover. No. It's some other shittier version of it.

They paid for the cheap rights to a Beach Boys song but then they re-recorded it. Here, I'm gonna play you what it sounds like. The reveal is amazing when it changes, cause first he's skiing, and that's when it's electric guitar. Well then he blows up a snowmobile with a flare. And one of the tracks, or he skis off the snowmobile,

lands next to him. And he invests the X Games. Here we go. He looks at it like, huh, dink. And the future of youth. Here we go. Up, there he goes, snowboarding. Those KGB guys are like, what is he doing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The transition into the score is really onward too. Oh! Watch this. Oh! Oh! I really want it to be like a ski movie,

like look who decided to draw me. Here's what's weird about it too. It's as though his snowboarding makes them forget how to ski. Across the water, he's fucking Jesus. And then right back. And he runs. Right back into it.

It's important to note that this entire cold open is filmed in Iceland, set in Siberia, and Roger Moore never set foot in snow. All of his scenes were filmed at Pinewood Studios in England so everything green screen anytime you see a man doing something it's not him well all the when he even walks across the room it's a stuntman at this point what his wife wrote his divorce papers this movie has aggressively recognizable stunt men in it. Oh, yeah.

It's like, that's just another man. Visibly much shorter and stockier. This is, we'll put this up on the website, but that's Tonya Roberts' stunt double. A griffled man. It looks like the killer Bob from Twin Peaks. He's wearing a blonde wig. I've never seen a more disturbing image.

It is rare that we get a James Bond surprise, and that was really something. This is the clip that we have from the movie. You can actually see Tonya Roberts. Oh, hey gorgeous. what's going on? Only gets dry the top of the car. And here's the reveal. Oh. Oh no. You're handed a truck tonight.

That's that mix of Grace Jones and Tonya Roberts that I was looking for. I found it. So and the first scene is, you know, he escapes. This is like when James Bond is like past cheeky. Like it's like an iceberg submarine. He jumps into an iceberg submarine with a British flag. Yeah.

That looks is in the shape of a straight up dick. And it is not, does not seem to me like a military vessel. It just seems like a fuck ship. No, it is absolutely a fuck ship. There is no need for the plush comforter on the bed that comes up. Yeah. On one side it's like full on submarine,

like I'm looking at dials, I'm looking at cameras. Boop, boop, boop. Super hot girl in the hair, of course. And then he just like presses a button, the bed comes up. But oddly all the remotes for the submarine are also on his side. So he can kind of like rock around. You're describing a fuck ship.

Yeah. I would like, I'm sad there wasn't a scene where Q explained to him like the fuck ship potential of it. Where he was like, I'm giving you this sub 007 so you can be masked within the iceberg, but also it's a fuckship, here you go. This button here, it raises the bed, and this is a vibrating fuckship button.

This is, this ejects dildos out of everything. Click this three times, it'll sterilize her. Yeah, and then Bond is like, are there condoms in here somewhere? And he's like, ha ha ha. Of course not, you never use condoms. You're James Bond, you're giving aids to everyone. I feel.

Well also when he makes the move for the ship to sort of tussle a bit and she falls on top of him, it's a strange moment because I was more worried for him. Ha ha ha ha ha. I feel like, oh his bones bones and like, he's not. Oh, that's so true. He's not well. So weird.

Also revealed. That just hit my heart in a major way right now. I was, I was like, oh no, but there's an old man in there. Be careful, please be careful, seriously. Oh, young woman, young woman, don't crush the brittle man. Be careful. Please be careful. Seriously. Oh, young woman. Young woman. Don't crush the brittle man. Be careful. Really. I would have actually liked to see that sex scene play out because it would have been so awkward and a lot of just like, I'm so sorry. This never happened. You can keep trying, but it's not going to work. He also, he also like when

he lands in the ship, like, you know, he's to work. He also, like, when he lands in the ship, like, you know, he's flirting with the girl, of course, and he knew all along, James Bond was on this mission, he had the tiniest of backpacks, kind of like Indiana Jones' satchel, like about that on his back, and he uses it to pack a giant thing of beluga caviar. Now as an adult, I know that that was like thousands of dollars.

Like the smallest ones are hundreds. Like this is like a cheese wheel of caviar and a bottle of vodka was in his backpack the entire time. It doesn't seem appealing to me, like a giant, like what is he gonna do? Like shit. All the way back to England. He's gonna eat straight vodka and eat caviar. Yeah, and he's gonna do? Like, shit. All the way back to England. He's gonna eat. He's gonna straight vodka and eat caviar.

Yeah, and he's gonna fuck that girl. Yeah. Because it's a fuck shit. That's what Bon does as a near 60 year old man. But I just picture them like, scooping out caviar with their hands, fucking. Like, did you pack utensils? No.

Put it on my dick. It sterilizes it. You won't get pregnant. I want to eat eggs tonight. Well, and I do think that's sort of the overall vibe that I walked away from the movie with, which wasn't like, oh yeah, I'm rooting for this guy and I want to see him go on all these crazy journeys. It was more like, oh, he has a problem. And he really has to be careful

because this could totally get out of hand. Like, it's a subtle thing. It's like Mr. Magoo? But it's like, yeah, with the vodka and stuff, when he pulled the vodka out, I felt like, oh, that's a really big bottle of vodka. For example, were you worried that he might not be able to sustain the temperatures of the hot tub that he might not be able to sustain like the temperatures

of the hot tub that he found himself in? Did that concern you at all? Like, ooh no, at his age, his body temperature should not be up where it is at this point. Well this brings us to, now that's the opening sequence of course, and then the main plot begins and I was watching the plot of Duran Duran's song. Now that's the opening sequence of course. And then the main plot begins. And I was watching plot of that. What first is the Duran Duran song? Oh yeah, the Duran Duran song.

Do you got anyone have any comments? It's the best. It's awesome. It's the best. The best song. I mean, one of my favorite. That and Live and Let Die are my two favorite songs. It's the only Bond song to ever become a number one hit.

Oh really? Yeah. Even after Skyfall? Yeah. Wow. Fucking experts. Yeah, you guys really brought the heat. Tuxedos. Yeah.

We get to the main plot, and June, you asked me this question numerous times, which was, what's happening? What's going on? I don't understand what's happening. I... What's going on? We replayed multiple scenes.

I mean, I spent four hours watching this movie. Rewind that. I need to watch it again. It was at a million times. Which is tough because this movie is fucking long. So to even imagine watching scenes more than once breaks my heart. And I did it a number of times. I said to June last night at the end of the movie, I said, actually, I think this is actually,

I said, for a long movie, it's paced really good. Oh, god. To what you said. I'm with you. I'm afraid to admit this. This is the James Bond movie I've seen the most times. I think me too. Because I have this thing where it's,

I like my James Bond movies really good or really bad. And this movie is as bad as the best Bond movies are good. And I agree with that. The movie opens and there's a scene after the Duran Duran song plays, we go back to MI6, and I would like to have been in the room for God knows how long while the senile guy from Q Branch

drove his little creature around in front of the fucking Prime Minister of England. There's a robot dog in this movie. That has no reason to be in there except for the end of the fucking Prime Minister of England. It's a robot dog in this movie. That has no reason to be in there except for the end of the movie joke. Well, it comes back, but it's also like, this is an advanced spying technique. No, it's a cumbersome, weird-looking robot dog

that anyone would be like, what the fuck is that robot dog doing in here? He is not, like, it was not subtle, it was not sneaky. It could not have looked like a more unnatural object. It was a cumbersome children's toy at best. It was something that as a kid, as a whatever, a 13 year old, I'm certain I was like, ooh, I want that. But not for spying. For friendship. Yeah. I want a little buddy.

No reason for that. And it wasn't like, you know, like a bomb sniffing robot. Like they also are cumbersome, but they also have like arms that come out and disconnect bombs. This seemingly had no arms. All this does is record pornography for Q. This is the little astromech droid for your fuckship.

It's like the little droid in the Death Star that's a black box that just rolls around. That robot, whatever, eight years earlier, is way more interesting than this robot is in this movie. That's all that robot did. Yeah, but it was black. So it blended in. Now, the scene in Par... Oh, well, they go to the racetrack, I guess, first. I didn't even write down any notes about the racetrack.

Oh, right. How could you not? Because the first hour of this movie is about racehorses. Oh, does that figure into the main plot of the movie? Oh, no. Not, no, Paul. Not at all. I still fail to see a problem. Yeah, this is where we have our, I think, the closest we can get to a British off in this movie.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, so this is something you guys do on your podcast. On our podcast, we like to determine the scene which has the most British person in it. In a sea of British people. Yeah, so I'm gonna have to give it to McClory. I mean, not McClory, what's his name, Tippett? Oh, Patrick McKee. Patrick McKee. McKee, Patrick McKee.

McKee. From the Avengers. You're saying no, he's not the most British person? Who do you think is more British than him? I somehow think the French guy in the Eiffel Tower is somehow more British. Because he's so French. The French guy in the Eiffel Tower is such a caricature. I'm like, what is he? I don't even know what he does.

I don't even understand what it remains. We're skipping over the part where Bond presupposes, he lays out the plot for you and says, well, it could be the Zoran. And the Prime Minister of England goes, that impossible he's a French industrialist yeah and they've never been associated with communism the French he's staunchly anti-communist yes yes yeah nobody's like it's Christopher Walken He's definitely gonna be the bad guy. Who? And M says to Bond that he has no accent. What the fuck are you talking about?

Well, he doesn't have a French accent. He's supposed to be German, I thought. Isn't he supposed to be German? But wouldn't he say he's got a weird American accent, James? Figure that out. He's got a weird way of talking, almost as if he's taking the punctuation, punctu-a-king. I'm okay. I'm okay. You've been walking.

You know what I'm talking about. I do want to get to the French scene because obviously the most French man in the world, who looks like he was drawn out of like the triplets of Belleville. You know, like shoveling. I feel like his sweat should have been Escargot. He ends every sentence with, I should let me be shitting in, no. And then he's like, since your pants appeal.

And they are meeting, they're meeting in the Eiffel Tower. In a restaurant that does not exist. We need to figure out how to make this guy more French. What do we do? We want to make the fanciest restaurant in the world in the middle of the Eiffel Tower. Fuck. Yes.

But this guy, we should get him to have a real French stinky mustache, right? Oh, and then he's killed by butterflies. This? Oh, I can't's killed by butterflies. This... Oh, I can't wait to talk about the butterflies. This sequence. June, take it away because this is one of my favorites. Take it away because this is my favorite sequence.

Well, I have so much to say about the butterflies. Oh, yeah. Go. I first wanted to... I don't know, and so this is a genuine query. Is that like a cultural or some sort, is the butterfly dance a thing? I can, I'm gonna answer this.

Yeah. Okay, that woman had an act where she would do this like, papillon, flight of the papillon, no. And she was somehow known for that. And like, the way Bond movies work is the producers will just be out in weird places and go oh that's strange let's put that in our next movie. Let's build our movie around that. Because here's what's interesting about the act the butterflies aren't real.

No. So it would be interesting if her act was like oh she's actually summoning butterflies like like some sort of snake. How would you do that? I don't know. That's tiny or average. No, no, no. Animal woman. Casey's right, June.

I don't know. It would be interesting though. That would be sort of this weird like vaudeville, like I'd watch that. Trained butterflies? I'd wait you to say everyone would watch that. Okay, fine. The way it's portrayed in this film the

butterflies are just fake butterflies that she's pretending to call in with no I mean there's no dance moves. I think she does turn on a fam with her foot. No she just whistles. There's no act. No there's just here's a bunch of butterflies floating around the audience, and she's standing up there just opening her arms. It's the equivalent of like that part of Blue Man Group where the toilet paper goes over the audience. You're like, blow it away! But then you're just throwing shit at you.

And that's the whole act. You summed up this entire movie. It was just very strange. Also, I do, when May Day is trying to take the place of the other Butterfly Wrangler, the other Butterfly Wrangler is fighting it so hard, like, No, I have to stand here! This is my butterfly parko! Do not fuck with this!

So what we're describing is, when the woman is whistling and doing her butterfly conjuring, there are people in like ninja suits Which just consists of her opening her arms Yes, and going like, yeah As if she's conducting a symphony of butterflies And it is then someone's job to stand in the wings with a fishing pole Where a fake butterfly is attached and swung past diners How would you otherwise do it, you assholes?

That's how you do it. Well, June has it right. I think I offered a few suggestions. You would get butterflies from the caterpillar stage. You would train them. So they know you from birth. Get them, Arlie.

You would train them. They would go into a cocoon. They would emerge glorious, already trusting you so they do not fly away. And then you rehearse. And then you, then the real work starts. Let me just say something. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

Let me just say something about that. Those butterflies have no choice in performing that act. You know what, and that is ammo cruelty. And they do not belong there. June, are you with me on this? As long as the butterflies are credited correctly. Ha ha ha ha. Woo!

You don't, you just don't want a butterfly shine on your hands. June, I would think that this butterfly puppetry would appeal to you on the level of the animal cruelty. By the way, you guys, we'll get to the worst stuff. This woman, you can rest assured, is the Temple Grandin of butterfly puppetry. She takes the best steps to make. Here's my issue also with Grace Jones in this movie.

What? She is the most recognizable person in the world. She is a giant woman with a bizarre hairstyle. And you send her out to be like your clutch guy. Your undercover assassin? Yeah, there's a part where James Bond goes like, I wanted to get my eyes on her so I could, I wanted to identify her.

He's like, once you see her face, you're like, yeah, I could pick her out of any lineup. Yeah. Here's what's interesting though about how May Day, how she assassinates that guy. So the- She really swings that thing. She comes in with a fishing pole.

No, does she come in with a fishing pole? Yes, she brings her own fishing pole. But I guess my question is, why not already set yourself there? Okay. And then you wouldn't have the fight with the other... Like what she leaves? The karate fight.

What happened, because what must happen is the guy has his fishing pole full of butterflies over the audience. The minute she knocks him up, all those butterflies must just fall to the ground. But yet nobody seems to notice that. No, and the butterflies start going erratically around and Noah's like, what the fuck? Well, I think she's just trying to draw

enough centrifugal force to lodge the hook into the guy's neck. Everything about this plan is terrible. Okay, can I just say one more thing about the Butterfly Show? The people are watching it as though they're real butterflies. No, no. I was.

They know I was real. I do every time. People are watching the show and enjoying it as though. So do you think they think they're real butterflies? No, I don't. I'm just saying, it's very confusing because the show is not a show. I mean, nothing's happening. And they're watching it with such awe and delight.

As though she's really calling in butterflies. You could do a full how did this get made about the butterfly show. We are currently doing it. We just did. It's been a while. We're not on the third scene yet. Of the main part.

Of a movie that isn't seven hours long. We haven't even met the villain yet. We haven't even jumped off the Eiffel Tower. The female lead of the movie doesn't arrive until one hour and 11 minutes. I just want to quickly just hit two things about this butterfly thing. This is a terrible plan.

If they want to kill this guy, shoot him. Stab him. Even shoot him from the same stance you're at. Where's the butterfly party? In that, where's the art? Where's the beauty? Where's the butterfly dance of death? By the way, the butterfly, I'm guessing,

because we're not told this by anyone. You have to infer. Was there poison on the hook? Yeah! Because the minute it hits him, it's like, goh, ugh, he dies. There's a... There's a fly in his soup.

That's what he says. Yeah, James... The guy dies instantly into his plate, like a fucking asshole. And Vaughn is like, there's a fly in his soup. And then like takes off running after Grace Jones. And the problem is, it would seem artful if they were like in the wings somewhere.

If the butterfly puppeteer was like, in the dark, behind the box. Okay, so you also don't like how the butterfly,. If the butterfly puppeteer was like in the dark, behind the box. Okay, so you also don't like how the butterfly, the fake butterflies are presented. The fake butterflies, the guy who's in all black. Is this a review of the butterfly show? The guy who's in all black is the stagehand.

Is this a critical look at the butterfly show itself, regardless of its content in the movie? He is in full view of the audience. This reviewer found this show to be preposterous. By the way- I think you guys are missing the Kubrickian levels of interpretation that you need to bring to this movie. We're gonna room 237 this shit.

Yeah. This podcast will be longer than the movie. I believe you're right. The butterflies are the answer though. Yeah. I will say that the... Oh my gosh. There's a car that gets to the thing.

The butterfly is the same color as her parachute. Ugh. She... So her plan... But here's the thing. She stabs him. Her plan was always to run up to the top of the Apple Tower and jump off. Because that's the only reason why she'd be wearing a parachute.

She didn't ever think that this plane was gonna go over smoothly. She was always like, fuck, I gotta run up and do the most audacious exit of all time, jumping off the Eiffel Tower with a parachute where everyone go, oh yeah, that's her. That's the murderer, that's the one. And your plan is to land in an open top speedboat

with the most famous French industrialist in Paris. Who? Why would you drive the fucking boat? Send your guy with the scar on his face. There's so many people who could have done that job. And then they one up their own most French guy with the drunk taxi driver who's just sitting drinking wine and all he says after his car is stolen is,

My car! My car! My car! The plane! The plane! The best thing ever, I believe, in any James Bond movie is what happens here, which is James Bond while he is driving this car, it's getting cut in various cars. The top's off, the back's off.

But then a car just kind of, like, taps it. Taps it. Taps it, and it splits in half, like a Yogi Bear cartoon. Like, I was expecting James Bond's feet to come out, like, flimsy, like, brrrrr. I can't imagine whatever car company that was,

was happy with that. Also, that's to presume that it's a front wheel drive car. Because once the back is off the car, you shouldn't be able to drive that car anymore. And he doesn't just drive it for a couple feet. Seems like he drives it for like another half a mile. Oh yeah, at least. And he parks it.

Yeah, he literally just almost parallel parks the thing. Then runs onto a boat, ruins a wedding, where chefs are going to murder him with a giant butcher knife. And we find out that it cost... Six million francs. Six million francs. And that is still not before main plot is introduced. June, June, can I ask you a question?

Sure. I feel like you're not done talking about the butterflies. No, I'm not. I ask you a question? Sure. I feel like you're not done talking about the butterflies. No I'm not. I guess I'm trying to imagine like I'm in this restaurant. Put yourself there. I see a woman come on stage. Have you come for her or is this a surprise show to you? I think you've heard about it. You've heard about it, yep. Now what did you, June, what did you hear? Did you hear, go see this amazing butterfly show?

Honestly, I think I did. Yeah. I think I heard that it was this crazy butterfly act. You have to go to the puppy home. And I was like, I gotta go see it. And you're, and so you're, you're under the impression you're gonna see some live butterflies, because you're a fan. Like going to the Central Park Zoo or something.

I assume it's gonna be something crazy with butterflies. I'm shocked to realize all the butterflies are fake. They're on fishing wire. Some are, some are. No, Paul. No, the ones that come out of the front look like they were coming out of like an air vent. Yeah, it's a mix.

It's... okay. It is. Okay. If it's a mix, you're saying that some are just being fanned up? Yeah, I will. And then where do they fall? They fall all over, June. They just fall in front of the stage. Okay, I guess my problem is, as an audience member, I'm also, what I'm also seeing is I'm seeing a man up there

dressed in all black, a stagehand. You can't ignore him, June. How can I ignore him? You're seeing him in the North Viking. How can I ignore him? You shouldn't ignore him. Participating in the ephemeral nature of the show. I'm trying to. I'm game. I want us to spend my disbelief.

But I see a man in all black. We're in Paris, too. I'm tearing the butterflies. You're wearing this shirt. Okay, fine. It makes sense. Are you, do you ask for your money back? Here's what I expect.

If the butterflies aren't going to be real, and I think this is what I've been trying to get at. Wait, you are expecting it? If the butterflies are not gonna be real, then I would expect the butterfly dance to be the thing that I'm here to see. You have a point there. Thank you. I expect if the butterflies are all fake,

okay, I get it, I'm not gonna watch a crazy trick. What I am gonna see is an art form. Yeah, come for the butterfly, stay for the dance, but there's no dance. There's no dance and there's no song. And that I have a problem with. So June on Yelp, what are you giving it? Zero stars. Whoa! Wow!

What? You don't even like the food? Yeah. I'm just looking to see if... Have you found the papillon, Paul? I'm looking. I have not seen much research on this butterfly lady. I mean, here's an image of it from the movie, but they don't really have much information

on this butterfly act. I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. Not a lot. You guys are going to have to do your own work at home later. To find out more about the butterfly act. I think this is one of those things I'm not surprised to hear it was real.

I feel like I'm disappointed that in that instance there wasn't like a scene in a Bond film where like Moomin-chans were part of it. Or shields in your mouth. It seems akin to like a mime act, this butterfly thing. I think just because it was foreign that was enough for them. You know, it felt global or something. I also like how it's announced that was enough for them. It felt global or

something. I also like how it's announced with a guitar and then there's no guitar on stage. That's right, like a flamenco guitar. This is interesting. We're going to talk, James Bond eventually meets up with the villain. Now, uh. Eventually. Ha ha! It's not just the butterfly movie. I can. As this podcast might make you believe, this movie takes primarily place in the third scene of the movie. It does not.

Apparently, it was announced that David Bowie was gonna be playing Max Zorin. And then, like, after it was announced, he turned it down because he didn't want to spend five months watching his stunt double fall off cliffs. And then the role was offered to Sting. He said no? It was written to Sting in mind.

Oh, really? Offered to David Bowie. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Then went to Rucker Hauer. That's right, yeah. And then finally Christopher Wong did. Yeah.

But I... This plot is basically Goldfinger revisited, but the original version of the script was, instead of the Silicon Valley earthquake, he was going to redirect Halley's Comet down into Silicon Valley. Which was deemed too unbelievable. Can you believe that?

What? That's awesome. Wow. That would've kind of- Can we just start at the horses and can you take me through the plot? Well, yeah. No, I can't.

The horses... I would rather if you took us through the plot. I can't. I really can't. You're being forced, a gun is to your head, someone's like, I need to know the plot. A sharp butterfly is to your neck. Whoa.

I need to know. Just right now, just go, I need to explain, like explain the plot in a paragraph or less. So here we go. Go. Just the evil plan. Just the evil plan. Well, I know the evil plan is to blow up Silicon Valley to get a monopoly over the microchip

industry. That's right. That's right. Yeah. So the horses- It just sounds insane. Especially because of how much time has passed on horses. What I don't understand still is what the sort of global,

why there was that summit of all the leaders. I really don't, oh, were they bad guys? Well, industrialists. I think they're the people that are gonna profit from the lack of microchip competition. Why are there so many of them? I. Why are there so many of them? I think why are there so few of them? Okay, where I get lost isn't the horses of it all.

Because a lot of this movie is about horses. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna, all right, so the plot of this movie is that he wants to flood Silicon Valley to disrupt the microchip production so he could own all the microchips. I'd like to show you what Roger Ebert's problem was with this film. Oh, this is delightful. Amazing research here. They are amazing. She pulls all these amazing clips.

April Halley, she does it all. Here we go, here we go. Good job, April. How stupid can you get? Anyway, Walken's plan is to corner the market on computer chips by destroying all the computer firms in California's Silicon Valley. But unfortunately, he has overlooked one basic fact. The computer manufacturers in Silicon Valley are the purchasers of computer chips which they put into their computers. They are not the manufacturers who are basically in Japan. So he isn't killing the competition, he's killing his own customers.

A real Bond villain would never make a mistake like that. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Roger Ebert laying down the law. That's hilarious. Matt Myra offering a salute to Roger Ebert laying down the law. That's hilarious. Matt Myra offering a salute to Roger Ebert. Well done, Roger Ebert. The most nerdy response to why this movie doesn't work. Why I saluted him was because I was going to say that. It does not, there's no manufacturing in there. You're just killing all the companies

that make the shit that needs the chips. So the genius, the engineered by horse steroids in his mother's stomach genius, that is Max Zorin, is just destroying all of the people that would be buying his bullshit. Do you think that they know that? Do you think that that's just how crazy he is? That his whole plan, he doesn't even see the folly in it, it's just an exercise for him?

That is true. He did his big thing. There's a line, I'm gonna jump all the way to almost the end of the movie just for this line. He does say to his crazy German doctor father, monocle guy. That may be the most British guy even though from the East British.

Crazy German doctor father. Imagine the largest cataclysm ever to occur on the earth. And then the other guy goes, and everyone will think it was natural. And then they're just so happy with that. Yeah. They're just so happy. They flooded a valley. By the way, Halley's Comet redirecting that to hit Silicon Valley makes so much more sense than what they're doing.

It's like, okay, so there's horse tranquilizers that give horses super speed. We don't need to really worry about that. Then there's, no, here's, no, we do need to worry about it, only for about 45 minutes. Then we're gonna completely not need to wait. That is in there just to show that they do genetic experiments,

which somehow justifies why Max Zorn is hyper intelligent hyper crazy There's a German doctor. There's a German doctor. So for sure there are genetic experiments He's not like hyper intelligent like you know To me he doesn't seem like he doesn't seem smarter than literally anyone in the movie. Smart people don't own blimps. Number one. It's a t-shirt right there. But yeah, he's not super smart, he's not super strong. Because even when he's fighting Grace Jones, she's kicking his ass.

But it's Grace Jones. But as Q says, Grace is taking her vitamins. Because she can wrangle a horse. How much training has the KGB given him? Because they're like, we built you, we engineered you, we, and if that's the case, they've done a shit job. Because he's not that strong. He's not that smart. He's just kind of like, he's got the kind of blondie good look. He's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of,

he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of,

he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the kind of, he's got the job. Because he's not that strong, he's not that smart. He's just kind of like, he's got the kind of blondie good looks of a really evil guy. He only took the business classes at the KGB. Like how to diversify your portfolio, how to pilot a blimp. Every semester he dropped world domination class. Well I thought it was also weird that, how to pilot a blimp every semester. He dropped world domination class. Well, I

don't need that. I just missed this stuff weird that I mean I feel like in any other movie you'd have you as an audience member. You'd be with your two main characters as they were figuring out this evil plan in this film. You find out about half an hour earlier what his evil plan is and then you just watch them try to figure it out. Try to figure it out. Try to figure it out, which is annoying. Because we already know, and so it's not interesting at all. And we're smarter than them.

And they basically show you like, when Christopher Walken reveals his plan, he has a big map and everyone's looking at it. And then later on in the movie, there's a different map that they're looking at. And then that also, like they're like. What I would love is a movie that follows the one guy that makes models and maps for super villains.

What do you need? Fort Knox? I got it. I have to do a whole Eastern seaboard for Zorin. Meanwhile, this guy's up my ass for an iceberg. A whole iceberg thing. Now wait a second. Oh, iceberg thing. Now, wait a second. You want this thing to come up from a table? I can do that.

It's gonna take six more weeks. And you want... And I only really need to use it once or twice. I'm never going to really talk about it again. So you want green lights to symbolize oil wells and red dots to symbolize fault lines? Done. Well, there you go. My cousin Jimmy does the dots.

Hey, Jimmy! How often are you gonna use this? Are you gonna have it on all the time or are you gonna keep it closed, shut down with a sheet over it, hidden in a side room that maybe they'll come across eventually, but not in like the big room where you put it on the pad?

If you want us to build like a table that goes down, that's gonna cost you a little bit extra and I gotta talk to my other cousin Paul. Hey We need another table that comes up. Are you still working on that death star for that? Space I only finished half of it There's only one problem that if you get to this one hole you can blow up the entire time. Sure. It's fine Alright, I'll leave it no more time. He's very strict. By the way, they do have the big map,

this big, expensive map in, like, the construction room. They've really set up for a lot of construction there. You guys were having a good time, but I still fail to see a flaw with this movie. Here's something that's interesting. Again, that was found out for me by Nate. He is like, for an unknown reason, there are several inside jokes in the film

that refer to the JFK assassination. Yeah, this I think is some internet guy that just made these things up. Oh really, okay. They're stretches. Zorin's main strike is scheduled for the 22nd, the same day as the Kennedy assassination. Interesting.

Patrick McNeese characters murdered and named Sir Godfrey Tippett, a Dallas police officer. JD Tippett was killed the same day as JFK. And the Texan who's named Connolly, Covenor John Connolly, was also shot in the assassination. So, all right, maybe you're right. All right, so. We are still barely into this movie.

Now, Grace Jones, main nemesis, so far in this movie, three times has been James Bond. Yep. She's like, when he shows up at her house, huh, I think I saw this guy. I don't know where it happened. Was it when I parachuted off the Eiffel Tower and landed in that thing

and we stared each other through the mirror for a second? Yeah, the glass window? Hmm. I don't know, that was only yesterday. I don't know if that's the same guy. Huh. All right, I'm gonna go back in here and do some more evil shit.

Like, she does not fully recognize him. Was she also a steroid baby? No, it seems to me- She's a steroid adult. Yeah. It seemed to me she was just getting shots on the side. Gotcha. Wait, she's that, yeah, she's strong too

because she wrangles a horse, she picks a man up over her head. Yeah, yeah. And that's a weird show of force. Yeah. Like, just punch him. You don't have to lift someone over your head like a baby. That is true dom-

That is asserting true dominance. Then, do you know who's in the background of that scene? I do indeed. Her boyfriend, Dolph Lundgren. Dolph Lundgren in the- Boyfriend at the time. Guy in the front row got excited. There he is, the young, attractive Dolph Lundgren

right there. Wow. All right is, a young, attractive Dolph Lundgren right there. Alright everybody relax. Everybody just got wet. June I want to talk to you about the fight love scene between Christopher Walken and Grace Jones because as a child I was disturbed by this and as an adult I'm disturbed by it. I was a little going on when she goes she chomps her teeth like Iceman in Top Gun and like a wild animal like, grrr. Is that a game that they play

or does she not want to be mounted by the successful Max Zorin? Good question, Paul. June? Ha! Well, I think there is something going on. I can't remember if it's in this scene or an earlier scene with her. There's a moment where she gets super excited

about something and she slaps herself in the face. Yeah. Is that that scene or that's a separate? That's earlier. That's earlier. Yeah, she's strange. Well, I mean. I mean, I don't know what's going on with her.

Is she a horse that has been shaved down to be a human? I don't know what's going on with her. Like the way they turn big carrots into baby carrots? Yeah, because it would describe, it would really explain a lot, as she was a horse. Wait, so, that's the genetic testing he's now doing? He has made a horse baby a human? It would explain the ornate hair, the animal noises. I wanted to distance myself from this theory at first.

You know how the Giger alien, if it's in a human it comes out more humanoid if it's in a dog It comes out more like a dog. She's like a Giger horse alien. I Think this is guys. I'm just gonna go out on limb here and say this is erotic foreplay Now we're talking. Yeah, they are just wrestling around until they get their juices flowing and then because he's like, you remember the phone rings and he's like, I told you not to disturb us. Because they're clearly gonna be like bone zoning all over the place once they get out of those geese. Oh yeah, they're just in their,

they're in their larval stage right now. Yes, they're gonna be beautiful butterflies. He was four minutes from dipping his dick in some caviar. Oh man, that's how they have sex in the story, right? But in the next scene, in the very next scene, like James Bond's plan, because he's figuring out the thing about the horses, which makes no difference in the movie, who cares?

But James Bond immediately knows exactly what the steroid is and how it's delivered just by looking at it. I guess fucking makes you smart. There's a presumption, and James Bonding, Matt, I'm going to put this to you because you are the experts, there's a presumption in this movie, and I believe all of these movies, that an enormous part of spying is just sport fucking the enemy. Well, I mean, this movie,

that is exactly right. That's the most sex he ever has, right? He fucks everybody, and everybody fucks him, and all of it is in service of spying. Well, he does, yeah, he does. Welcome to the real life of Cold War espionage. Is that it? That's how the wall came down in Berlin.

It was fucked. They fucked it down? Yeah, the wall came down in Berlin. It was fucked. They fucked it down? Yeah, they fucked it down. Yeah. He does fuck. Mr. Gorbachev, fuck this wall down. Fuck down his wall. Ha ha ha.

He does, he does, he fucks four different females in this movie. This is the most sex. This is, yeah, the most Roger Moore had ever. At almost the height of the AIDS crisis? Yeah. Hot Tub Girls, Submarine Girl, Tanya Roberts, Grace Jones,

and that's about it, yeah. Yeah, that's four. That's a lot. A lot of ladies. Oh, wait, but all right, so basically he hides out... Does he have sex with Tanya Roberts, though? What? Well, they're in the shower and then they go down.

Yeah, they're in the shower. They're not showering together to get each other clean. That's what I thought. Or maybe they are. That's what I thought. Well then, but he also is like her father. He acts like her father the entire time. She may just be bathing him to like take care of him.

You know. He's got a bed sore. She got in the shower to help him out of the shower. She's a cat. She's in the shower chairs. That's what that shower. She's like, Get one of those shower chairs. That's what that little droid is. He's just scrubbing his tank. The saddest thing, it's really a strange...

Scrubbing his tank? Come on now. Disgusting, disgusting. Be cool about it. It would need to be done, Jason. There's a really disturbing scene where, I know we're jumping ahead, but where Tanya Roberts is in this very childlike bed.

It's like the room kind of has a pink hue. It's like a twin bed. It's a canopy. Oh, you mean it's a small bed. I mean her childhood bedroom. Okay, her childhood bedroom. There's a dollhouse in there. Which has been preserved.

And she has had this horrible thing happen that day where there's an attempt at her life. You mean a home invasion? A full home invasion by the wimpiest guys. Four guys, one of them with the worst toupee you've ever seen in your life. By the way, all the guys that James Bond fights in this movie are also equally old.

Like, there's always any old guys out there. Because it's the stunt crew that had been working with him since he started. But immediately after these men attempt to home invade her, she decides to... They don't attempt, June. They invade her home. No. They make it upstairs and downstairs.

Fine. Immediately after it happens, she says she has to go feed the cat. That's the first thing that's on her mind. After she smacked her grandfather's ashes on one of the guy's head. By the way, I hate to break it to her that urn was empty. Yes I would have loved it if there was ashes everywhere But then later on that night chief he goes to the bathroom. She falls asleep immediately wait she first in between Changes into nightwear. Yes, super sexy night. Yeah, yeah, right

Oh by the way, are we talking about is that after he makes her a full-on quiche? Yeah, you have nothing in the kitchen. Do you know about this? Do you guys remember in the 80s there was this book called Real Men Don't Eat Quiche? And it was a joke. It was like a cultural joke of, and this book was a satire book about like, you know, men don't bake and they don't make fine food. My man just wants a burger and stuff like this.

So this was like their response. James Bond needed to answer that cultural question of, does a real man eat quiche? No, he makes it himself. And then he really undersells it. He's like, it's quiche. She's like, what's that? And he's like, scrambled eggs.

Yeah, yeah. Also, I hate to believe that this girl who is the heiress to an oil manufacturing company does not know what a fucking quiche is. Good point. And also, I love that we're supposed to- What the fuck is that? It's egg pie?

We're supposed to feel so much sympathy for this. I mean, and maybe, again, I didn't understand a lot of the movie, so maybe I'm just completely off. But it seems like we're supposed to care about this very wealthy family that was digging for oil. I mean, they were not philanthropists. And they were not, you know what I mean? We're supposed to care so deeply

that they've lost their company. Well, I think the fact is that they lost it to Max Zorin. Fair enough, fair enough. But there's a scene later on where she falls asleep. But why is she standing on, like, why won't she take the $5 million, which she said is six times more than it's worth? Like, what's, what is she holding onto?

Hang on. Her oil company is only worth $500,000? Hang on. She's working a day job at, like, City Hall. Isn't she? She's a vegetable oil company. It's not even crude oil. Oh, it's vegetable oil that we can support her.

Oh, it's vegetable oil. No, I'm joking. Oh. And I agreed to it really quickly. I was on board. Really? I was like, oh, that's very nice. OK.

No, it's canola oil. Girlie just established dominance very quickly. By the way, just in that home invasion, those guys seem so intimidating. And then when James Bond beats them all up slowly, one guy runs away and he's like, hey, because the car is speeding out, he's like, hey, wait for me. Yeah. And here's the thing that I couldn't figure out is like, so they home invade, they come

to kill her, I think. And James Bond chases them off, at which point they stay in her house for days. They sleep there that night, the CIA guy comes and visits them there. Oh, oh, oh, I need to talk about the CIA guy. Wu-Han. Okay, so James Bond meets his CIA counterpart in a fish market.

He's like, do you have any soft-shelled crab? And he's like, yeah, we got some out back. And they go, and all I could think of is, why is this guy undercover at a fish market? Like, is he on another assignment, or is he working in this? And also, the code word is only, you walk up to a fish market in San Francisco and all you have to do is

get this asshole and say to him do you have any soft-shelled crab I have some in the back there's no other fucking thing you have to say to him and then he whips out a CIA credential and then calls you double-oh-seven he was doing that all morning yes I just Like, just don't f- I got to call the main office and be like, I did it again. We need to have this man killed, this woman killed. I want to see the other side of the scene.

I bet you people are having a crab party where you have to have them killed. It's a popular recipe. Like, I want to see, like, they walk out back, and he's like, here, they hit my card. He's like, hey. What is that? We just want the soft shell crowd He has to keep killing them

To see a flaw But here's my theory on this like Donnie Brasco like Johnny Depp is undercover. They don't go hey by the way Johnny Depp's character in Johnny Brasco Donnie Brasco like hey also you might get another guy coming by just do with him Do you like he's is he undercover as a fishmonger and then also doing like a side job like or is he working with? Max I think that was his sort of his pose. I think that's his cover. Yeah He's got a fishmonger? Well, he has his fisherman buddy who does a terrible quint impression,

then it disappears. Yeah. That's right. And then. Well, OK, I would conjecture that this guy's beat for the CIA is the fish beat. Yeah. He's like the Aquaman of the CIA?

Fish crime. You don't want people selling a sea bass like a Chilean sea bass. You can't mislabel that shit. What are you talking about? We're the CIA. Of course we have someone in the fish market. We are the fish market. The guy with the boat is probably who disposes of all the people who ask for soft shell crab. And he keeps calling the office, can we get a different code thing? Because this isn't working for me. All of this, the CIA guy, they're in San Francisco,

the plot to flood, all of it, and I don't want to send us backwards too much, takes place after one hour plus spent at Christopher Walken's palatial estate where horses are being auctioned, and Bond is undercover as a horse buyer named James St. John Smythe. Which I had closed captioning on which is the only reason I understand it was St Saint John Smythe. Yeah. Not St. John Smythe. No, wait, wait, wait. No, really? No, hold on. St. John Smythe. It is. He writes the check with that name.

St. John Smythe. But that's how you say it. It's how he's... Oh, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait. They say the name 1,000 times. St. John Smythe. St. John Smythe? And what about Mr. St. John Smythe? Have you checked on Mr. St. John Smythe. And what about Mr. St. John Smythe? Have you checked on Mr. St. John Smythe? And I was like, what fucking kind of name is this? What is this? And I turned it on, St. John Smythe. Fuck you movie.

Wow. We've also glossed over the most important scene in this movie in any cinema history, and that is when Roger Moore beds Grace Jones and kisses her in what may be the most uncomfortable moment I've ever experienced in my life. He does this like pursed lips, his cheeks like suck in like a bellows, and it just feels like he's taking the life from her but she somehow has more to spare. That's how you kiss the horse. Like it's like a mouth-eaters kiss. But do you have you heard the story behind this?

Yes, this is amazing. Please tell it. Okay well apparently Roger Moore and Grace Jones did not get along during this movie. Go figure. You know two pieces of plot. Grace Jones known not get along during this movie, go figure. You know, two pieces of the plot. Grace Jones is known for beating up a reporter on a live interview show. Yes, that's right, yeah. Slapping him, yeah. She's insane, yeah.

She apparently had a big black dildo under the covers and tried to just have her way with Roger Moore as a joke, but he anyways... Because Roger Moore used to do something, Roger Moore would always like goose the girls that he would bed. And they're like, you gotta do something to him. So she got a big black dildo. Wait, what are you saying goose the girls? I am also confused by this.

You guys don't know that term? It's like, singin' smut. Goose the girls. It's spelled differently, but it's like, goose the girls. Does he like pinch them, or does he like squeeze them? I have no idea what the. A part of the...

What is this? Goose down. Goose down. Goose down. So you're just pinching. Yeah. So you pinch them little soft shell crab. Hang on.

So... No one's heard the term goose when you goose somebody? No, but like I wonder like... So someone says this to Grace Jones and a pinch, and her response to this is, I will fuck him with a black dildo. No, her response is, let me go to my briefcase full of black dildos in cutout foam, and bring out, oh, let's say Charlie number 12,

and put it under the bed. Charlie number 12 was also undercover for the CIA. And a terrible perfume. Did you find... Well, also, like, Mac Zoran's like, yeah, yeah, go fuck him. Like, he's like, oh, that's what I mean. That's part of what's up, I guess. Everybody's just up for, like, okay, fuck him.

Yeah, good. Well, it's interesting, though, because she has an emotional connection to Zoran. Right. She thinks he loves her. Yeah. But wait, wait, wait. They know that he's the guy who chased her down. They stared at each other. They saw each other's faces. They know he's bad. They know that he escaped through the thing.

She's gonna fuck him instead of just kill him? Also, also Is Zoran doing not just fucking punching his name into his magical license to kill computer That computer is his desk like at any point I bet he could go down to that office and punch this in something tells me that when you're so deep undercover in mi6 There's not like a file that comes up that's like, undercover, extremely dangerous, usually armed.

That's the problem with these movies is they have it both ways. When he wants to be secret, he's secret, and then most of the time it's James Bond, famous super spy in our hotel. Yeah, what's amazing about it is that this movie gives the impression that no one in the KGB, except for the smartest guy on the planet,

doesn't know who fucking James Bond is. So he's the only guy. He's so many times, multiple times to these people as different people. But even the blonde girl who he beds in a hot tub knows him immediately. OK, here's the question, right? Yeah. Great move.

Walk in, send Grace Jones to kill the French detective with the papillon who is sitting at a table with James Bog. Grace Jones, for another 90 minutes, does not recognize James Bog. That's what I'm saying. She just saw him. She just did see him. They were face to face on the boat. Yeah, she was lining up her butterfly target right by him.

Yes. I mean, and arguably because he was talking to Bond, right? Right. Well, he was giving out information. I feel like he was just, she was just going to kill him. But my point being, like, he is, you're right, they always want it both ways. He is capable of being so, he convinces Tiny Roberts,

he's a reporter for the whatever, whatever. James Stock. Yes, exactly. And it's always James blank. Well, except for the times where he really- Because he can't remember a different first name. He really is unrecognizable when he puts on a tiny hat. A little smart equestrian cap.

By the way, his face and hair feel like something was going on in that hair. Trump-wise, I mean. They had to thicken it every day. For sure. Really? Yeah. They what? They had to thicken it every day in this movie.

Your body language is just, we're destroying your childhood movie. They had to thicken it like with flour. But his hair is so weird. I would have less problems saying my hair was thinning. Like it's harder for me to admit that Roger Moore's hair is thinning, you know? It's somehow breaking my body.

It's okay. It's Sean Connery wore a tou Moore's hair is, you know, it's somehow breaking my body. It's okay. It's not a comedy war to pay through all of them. I know that. It's just... When they break into City Hall and this, oh, I still got my car. Let's go to City Hall at night.

Do you have any clips of Tiny Roberts acting? Oh, yeah, 100%. Bring up Beastman. Because I have not seen a delivery like this in my... I was wondering... Okay, this is also something I wanted to bring up. James Bond is asleep on a chair with a shotgun to protect her.

She leaves the room, prepares breakfast, comes back. This old motherfucker does not wake up unless there's an earthquake. An earthquake, which she has an Apple IIc. That is hooked up to the earthquake net. Yep, it's with a push of the button, she can read the seismic reaction to that earthquake. Well this is the scene, it's not since January,

what was it, no not January, what was her name? Christmas. Christmas Jones. Christmas Jones, when Denise Richards played a geologist of some kind too. Yeah, she was a nuclear physicist. Okay, yeah, here we go. Big difference.

Oh, sorry, let's protect you. Oh, you're not even, oh. I wanna say, breakfast out of bed. What's wrong with your pants? His suit is made of skin, by the way. We had a nurse challenge. They're extremely sensitive to seismic activity. Next to the earthquake, Sandra has a-

A Will Arnett-style robe from 30 Rock. Mr. Miner Jones. Measure 2.5 millimeter scale. She has a full face of makeup, first thing in the morning. That's odd. She has a full body of makeup. The epicenter's near Zoran's oil field. I took a look at this.

Zoran was pumping seawater into his wells. Look at him though, he's amazing, come on. Is there a connection? Seawater? Like June, let me ask you a question. Those wells are in the Hayward Fault, are you sure? Checked it myself. That's incredibly dangerous.

Howe has to stop Zoran now? How has to stop Zorin now? I gotta say that, okay maybe this wasn't her best scene, but I enjoyed her. Wait, wait, what about, what about Paul? You probably don't have it, but the scene where they are talking to the CIA agent around the dinner table. Don't have that. And she remembers, I still have my security badge.

Yeah. And then the way she delivers the line... And it's summer, so city hall's open late. Yeah. It's not blackout days. Well, and then the way she delivers the line, I have to get it upstairs. There's no reason for that. There's no reason for that.

Well, that was scripted. And then the CIA agent goes out, he apparently pulls up to all of his jobs of fucking death metal playing. So loud. Like, he drives up. There's so much loud music coming from his car. Can I ask a question? Why do they kill the CIA agent in his car and then drive away in his car? Why not just kill the rest of them?

Do they only come to get him? When are you guys gonna realize these are- They had to get in on the fish market. No. Was that a hit based on his fish genes? That wasn't even Grace Jones. That was somebody else entirely. You're looking for plot continuity.

These are performance art killers. And they're making a statement. Grace Jones' move is this. I'd love it if it was revealed. This great move. This one, which is just this like, hey, just a normal car. Oh!

Buh! Just sneaking up the old sneaker upper. I will say, it did get me the first time. Me too. Ah, see? The first time. You're anticipating it, bro. The first time, and she disappeared.

I was like, oh, that's funny that they made her kind of magic. She kind of just disappeared. They made her kind of magic. And then she was in the car the whole time, and I was like, oh boy, I'm dumb. I really got too st boy, I'm dumb. I really got too stoned to watch this movie. See?

It's art. I should have seen that a mile away. It's art, it's art. They break into City Hall, and, well, this sequence, I mean, the fact that Zorin catches them, who gives a shit? Because, and they are in there 100%. But the thing that I'm amazed at is this next sequence where they light City Hall on fire.

And then all of a sudden the movie's like, well let's see what a homeless person's perspective of this scene might be. And they cut to a homeowner. Socially conscious. And again, to Jun's point before, like us, the audience know the plan, so it's not really fun for us to watch them discover the plan.

This, you're watching a homeless man watch this rescuing of James Bond and the girl, but we're also on the inside seeing James Bond rescue the girl. There's no, like, James Bond pops, yes. Paul, this is the audience surrogate. But, okay. We're seeing this through his eyes,

because we are garbage people. I would love to be garbage people, but here's the thing. We see him save her, and then they cut to the outside, and everyone's like, oh, will he save her? And then, yeah, we saw it already.

This is the director, John Glenn, realizing Spielberg would become hugely popular, and this is the same reason that Campershell gets the top ripped off, so you see that couple go, what? It's all about those little Spielberg cameos. They steal everything in James Bond movies. So that's a Spielberg thing?

I don't remember ET being told to the point of use of a drunk, except for Drew Barrymore. She was drunk at the time. She's fine now. But here's the weird thing. I sort of accepted... Too soon. Way too soon. I sort of get it from the point of view of the naked people in the car when the conference

is up. Yeah, because they're just trying to get their groove on in the back of a pickup truck. And it's surprising and different that this should happen in the middle of their... Like what the? Huh? Yes, but for the homeless man, it's so weird. You always have sex with Paul lying next to him, half covered. Of course. Because they're just next to each other.

Yeah, of course. But when, but for the homeless person's point of view, he just happens to look up and this thing is happening pretty far away from him. So to your point, it's not really that, like, that cameo where he's doing something I'm not saying it worked Again I just feel like you but the the music is like triumphant like James Bond saved her like

Everyone's like watch it And then we get into a 15-minute long Fire truck chase. Oh, this is is one thing I want to talk about. From a Chicago cop in San Francisco. This is what I want to talk about, because Zorn lights all of City Hall on fire. A blaze, yep. A blaze.

And what does James Bond fucking do but steal a working fire truck and drive it away from the scene of a fire. What a piece of shit! It's so weird to see this because I saw it so young that I've never questioned it. It's like I never doubt that the Ewoks are brilliant. Into the fire truck. We'll get away in this. Wait a second. I want to challenge one more theory with this.

He also hits a lever on the fire truck that shoots out water as if it's hooked up to a fire hydrant, but that's not how fire trucks work, right? Like fire trucks are not full of water. Some are. Some tank trucks are. Okay, that's not a tank truck. That's a ladder truck. That is a ladder truck. You're right.

That's a ladder truck that was shooting... Wait, some fire trucks do have water in them? Then this movie is restored back to good. Wait a second. Wait a second. I do want to know, just because I feel like we are conjecturing about it, June, do you know anything about fire trucks? I know a little bit.

You do? Yeah. I'd love to hear about it. You lived down the block from a firehouse. I did. Yeah, for a firehouse. I did. Yeah, for a long time. Um, I don't know. I mean, I felt like the hose situation

I also had an issue with, because I didn't know what it was attached to. Sure. I understand what you're saying. Like it seemed crazy that he was taking the fire truck away from a fire. Seems irresponsible. There are still, I believe, other people in City Hall.

And it really did seem like that was the only fire truck on the scene. It was that one in the one, it was that one in the ladder truck that he climbed down the ladder of. He climbed down that- Oh, that's the same one. No, that ladder was up. Oh, okay. And he gets on this truck and drives away. So there's two trucks, he drives away in one of them.

You're also forgetting the fact that the San Francisco Police Department has already found a body processed and decided who killed him. And this guy is 100% familiar. While the building's on fire. He's 100% familiar with James Bond. Like, yeah, yeah, I heard about you. Okay, I get it. How? You guys, the minus column is almost where the plus column is for this movie. Okay. Well, I have to say too, Tonya Roberts, she seems fine when she starts her descent on that ladder and then halfway, he's carrying dead weight down that ladder. That seems hard. Why isn't she able to walk? She's fine. I thought she was fine.

She seemed able-bodied. Is it that she's wearing heels and it would be hard to walk down the ladder in heels? Of course it would be hard, but I think to help with my health. Which she never takes off at any point to run out of the burning building she leaves her six inch heels on? You gotta look good.

James. Oh, she. She says James so many times. I was wondering, that's James. Don't leave me, James. Help me so much that I was like, ooh, I wanted you to leave her. I know.

She just had abandonment issues I think. She's very codependent. Yep. I will say that, she was very codependent. Grandpa! Yeah, she had a very unnatural relationship with the portrait of her grandfather. I didn't like the scene where he plays peek-a-boo

with her for like five minutes. Where did you go? I'm right here. And he pulls a quarter out of her. She has a lack of object permanence. James! Sinjin Smythe! Jihyeim Stalk.

James Sinjin Smythe. I couldn't deal with that. Jun, how would you? I mean, I will ask you this. Jihyeim Stark. James Stingensmide. I couldn't fucking deal with that. June, how would you... I mean, I will ask you this, June, like as a romance expert, I guess, I'll ask you this. Did you find that there was like a chemistry

between the two of them? No. You guys are cold and dead. No, I mean, it did feel, especially that scene where he's bedside, it felt like, oh, this is just, I felt the whole situation was very vulnerable. Like, oh, there's a little baby girl lying on her bed and there's a really old man sitting in the chair.

It's kind of like the beginning scene in Princess Bride. Oh no. This is a May, December romance, but it's December of the next year. It's their relationship. Maybe New Year and old New Year. Their relationship is, cause he really, he fucks like at the drop of a hat. Like he fucks, like he fucks four women in the movie, as we said, three of whom he just fucks like,

Willie almost accidentally. Like, race Joe. There's not even flirting going on. There's nothing, but with Tonya Roberts, he does. He acts like a daddy to her. Like, he's got a, he tucks her into bed. He tucks her into her childhood bed. It's disturbing.

She's wearing like, almost nothing. And he tucks her into like a twin canopy bed with the comforter. And I was like, this is fucking gross as shit. After he had provided a meal for her. Yes. And then he watches over her with her cat in his lap. There was a lot of shots of that cat and there was a lot of shots of the KGB agent's white

panties. Anybody else? Oh yeah, I didn't see this. There were like three close-ups of that when they're in the hot tub of like panties. I was like, I feel like this is just supposed to be like salacious. Like guess what? She's not wearing bottoms. Because guess what?

They're right there. Panties. Clean. And you also feel like James Bond naked. Not period panties. You see James Bond from knee down, and I didn't want that camera to go up. I didn't want any more of his thigh. And then like it cuts outside to her boss, the head of the KGB, who for some reason is in San Francisco waiting for an agent to blow James Bond.

The head of the KGB. They're in a bath house. He doesn't even know the guy. She has no, she's just there doing something else. She's just doing her own mission. Well yeah, with Zorn. She's unrelated, so they don't even know James Bond is there.

She's like, oh my gosh, James Bond. So the stuff she's doing when she's in school. With the Walkman you mean? With the Sony Walkman? Yeah. The very high tech device known as a Sony fucking Walkman? But when she meets him under the docks, well, she's on another mission there?

She's on her own mission. But it's a similar mission. She was on a mission. They're trying to take down Zoran, too, because they're going to be. They don't know each other. I mean, they don't know each other are doing this. No.

They're not in conjunction. This was, this part was originally supposed to be played by Barbara Bach, who was the lead in The Spy Who Loved Me. So it was supposed to be a recurring character, but she, I think my only explanation is she read the script and went, I'm not touching this movie. And was, was she also, wasn't she also married to Ringo Starr? Yes, she still is.

So her husband Ringo's like, I am married to Ringo Starr, so I do not need to do this movie. And wasn't she also married to Ringo Starr? Yes, she still is. So her husband Ringo is probably like, I am married to Ringo Starr, so I do not need to do this shit. I'm doing movies like Caveman, thank you, no. That's where they met. Yeah. And they fell in love. Yeah. And now, who knows?

All right, so yeah, that's a mess. That whole sequence is a mess. But we'll agree, it's just that sequence, right? Everything else is where we're good on? I just want to- That's a mess. That whole sequence is a mess. But we'll agree it's just that sequence, right? Everything else is where we're good on? Which he says the bubbles are tickling my Tchaikovsky. Tchaikovsky. I know that these guys have questions.

I want to get to their questions as well. But I want to just, before we do, just talk about the most anticlimactic end scene of any James Bond movie. Like, the villain death is so, like, wow. I may seriously fight you on this. Really? What I do like about his death is the laugh he lets out.

I love that. Before he falls. He's like, ha ha, I'm gonna tell that. Yeah. That does it all for me. I thought it was a great choice. But I also felt like it's two men that aren't really good fighters.

And who aren't the men fighting. Fighting in the most precarious place. And they sort of like, and then one fell off. Like it's sort of like, of course. There's a story behind that too. They said you can go up on the bridge as long as you don't fight up there, you can only struggle.

That's the only way we're gonna legally allow you to do it. So that's why when you see them up there, they're just kind of doing the twist. Wait, really? Yeah. Why? Because they were afraid people would go up there and fight? No, they were afraid they... Copycats?

We can't encourage it. They were afraid someone would actually get hurt. Yeah, they were afraid the stuntmen themselves, if they were too physical, would like slip up and fall or something. Because it is, like that's... I mean, I don't mind him grabbing on and falling, but it's like, you want something more. Even just a whole, grab onto James Bond's leg and then James Bond's like, ah! They're all hanging off the bridge, movie style.

It does, as soon as Christopher Walken falls off the bridge, it makes me realize the movie I wanted to see was the crazy German guy in an airship. Oh yeah. An airship that has a safe with dynamite in it. I would argue with the refrigerator. Oh, is it a refrigerator or a safe? I never put that together. Why does a blimp need a safe?

Why does that have dynamite in it? Oh my god. Why does that have dynamite in it? It's like a mad bomber. It's like, ahhh. Oh, the humanity. Is it like, at a turn it's like, let's go fishing. Why does a blimp need a save? I love that hands are up. I feel like I feel like at a certain point anybody could just be like wait who is at the beginning of the movie they could have been like somebody is a villain somebody is a bad guy something bad is happening they might as well just be like well round up all the blimp owners and it's one of them. Because only that does.

Oh, so you mean it's either Goodyear or this Max Zorin character? Yeah. It's Fuji, Goodyear or Zorin. Who's purchased Dirigibles this year? As I mentioned before, there are two blimps in this movie, two Zorin books, but also at one point in the movie- That are labeled. Zorin.

And he throws a man out of one. Yeah. And would that come back to Jor? No, no. All you do is you get the three blimp owners and you go, which one of you sumbitches got a safe in your blimp? Well, what's funny about the guy that gets thrown out

of the blimp in the first place is that all of a sudden, they drop, the dummy they drop out of it, they don't even bother to make its legs not flip the completely wrong way. So you're to think that this man fell from the sky and when he hit terminal velocity, his knee's broken half. June, you had a thought about that.

Well, no, I'm just curious. Why blimps for Zorin? Because he's German and he's a Nazi and the Hindenburg. Gotcha. I think it's more that they like, well we haven't done blimps and we are out of ideas. Also the blimp is the most shoehorned in title of this movie.

Because they're walking to the Golden Gate Bridge and it's like, ooh what a view to a kill. No, no, no, it's split by May Day and so, Jason you be May Day. Honor the text, honor the text. Jason will be May Day, Matt Gorley, I'll let you be Chris Walken. Okay.

What a view to a kill. All right, here we go. We got some questions. The titular line of that movie. We got some questions. Comes from a poem. Okay, your question. I was wondering if any of you noticed

that when the bomb was counting down at the end, it was reading 19 minutes and 94 seconds. I took a picture. Oh, that says everything. Wait, wait, was it? Yeah, I see it. This movie's terrible, Matt Gourley. Terribly wonderful.

All right, your question. question. Simply the best. Your question, your James Bond female name and your name. Seals, James Seals. Female name would be Misty Slick. Ooh I like that. Essie Sled. What? Misty Slick. Ooh not bad. Misty Slick. Oh, not bad. Misty Slip. Misty Slip. Misty Slip. How long have you been thinking about that? That's too well thought out and gross. Yeah, you're either like a premeditated creep or a genius. And by the way, the slip is this thing. I love this. Slit, slit, right?

Slut. Misty Slit. Slit. He's saying slit. Misty. Slut. Misty Slit, slit, right? Slut? Misty, slit? Slit, he's saying slit. What? Misty. Slut? Misty, slit? Sell it, sell it. SLIT, okay?

Like a, like a, like a, Slick, like an oral slick. Slick. Oh no, we like the other one. Misty, slick. No, Misty and slick are two of the same thing. Misty is the adjective for the slit. Is that right?

Yeah. All right, your question. Now in the movie, Bond doesn't actually use a gun to kill anyone. Is that because the movie came out two years after the Ronald Reagan assassination attempt? What's that? James Bond doesn't use a gun in this movie to kill anyone.

He also, there's no Q gadgets either in this movie. There is one Q gadget. It is a sharper image credit card. Yes. Which is on the level of the Batman in American Express card. He has three gadgets. He has three gadgets. That undoes a window lock.

Plus he has the polarized sunglasses and the carbon copy check thing. Oh yeah. Wait, but you bring up a very good point, which is, was the fact that he didn't use a gun because Ronald Reagan was just almost assassinated with a gun? Not that I'm aware of. Alright. Alright. Yeah, he was shooting at the end of the day. He didn't kill anybody.

But then there is about 35 minutes of Max Zorn mowing down his whole workforce. They don't seem to worry about that. They're already dying. Just giggling. There are definitely gun deaths in this movie. You June you threatened to shut off the movie. I was actually I was really upset by that part. For his lack of loyalty? These people were dying horrible deaths already, and then he gunned them down. It's what I would argue. I would argue. It was so terrible.

June, at least where I fall on this is I would rather get shot to death than drown to death, and maybe he's doing a nice thing for them. Wow. All right, your name, your James Bond girl, and your question. All right, my name is Cody, my Bond girl is Monica Rusty Trombone.

A little cumbersome. Sorry, it's heavily- Monica. I know, why Monica? Why? It seemed to fit. My question is, was the PG-13 rating invented after this movie was made?

Because first of all, there was- PG-13 rating movie was invented for Temple of Doom. Red Dawn. invented for Temple of Doom and then Temple of Doom was the second one. 84. Because there's the slaughtering scene where Max Warren just wantonly kills dozens of people then there's just like a ton of nipples in the direct rift. Nipples have been with us in the James Bond movie. Well that's in the opening. I barely saw nips. I didn't really see nipples. And I was looking for nips? In the James Bond movie. Well that's in the opening, right? I barely saw nips. I didn't really see nipples. And I was looking for nips. Yeah.

If you want nipples, check out The Spy Who Loved Me, and that's a Matt Gourley moment. All right, here we go. You, sir, your name. An MGM? Yes, the one. That's the one. Name, James Bond, and your question.

The more you know. My name is actually Zoran. What? Oh. Paul, get away from him! Check his license! Lawsuit! He's with a giant African American woman. Lawsuit.

I guess my James Bond girl name would be Carol Lingus. I like it! I like it! Best one yet. And I guess it's not such a question as... Except for Misty Slit. About a creep in the back corner. Yeah, there it is.

I just wanted to make sure we didn't go an episode without knowing the exact moment in the movie where Jason came. So I imagine it was the moment. That is an excellent question. Jason, at what point of the movie did you come? Great question, Jason. What's this now? He wants to know when in the movie did you come? Oh, interesting. Well, it was definitely during the horses. Ooh, it's a beautiful animal. It's a beautiful, beautiful animal. All right. Your name, your James Bond girl, and your question. My name's... This is deeply upsetting. My name's Maria. The Bond Girl name, I think just a good... I just came. I feel like Vajayjay could make a good Bond Girl name.

Vajayjay. Vajayjay. And I would like to ask June, our resident wig expert, what he thought of Christopher Walken's wiggy wiggy wig. Hang on, hang on, because on our podcast, we are always talking, I've always wanted to see you guys be in the same room. Because Matt Gorley... Because you thought they were the same person? Yes. And you were like, until I see them in a room together, I refuse to believe. Matt Gorley claims to have the best wig-dar in the business.

Well that's interesting you ask that question because I did not think it was a wig. It's not a wig, microphone cheers. Yeah. I didn't think it was a wig at all. It's a dye job but it's not a wig. It's a dye job but it's not, I didn't see any hairlines I wasn't comfortable with.

Does this reinforce both of our wig confidence? I think so. I didn't know for sure it wasn't a wig, but I was standing. I'm with you. I didn't feel it was. Great job on wig talk. Wait, so with June, it's more of a feeling.

Yeah, no, I never do any research. Oh. I think June is always operating on intuition primarily. Let me see here. I want to go, who here has come from a far distance? Cause I want to make sure if you have a good question from far distance. Where are you from? I'm from where the movie is in San Francisco.

That's not that far enough. Anyone further? Anyone further? Do you have a good question? That's in the same state. I'll come back to you. Is there anybody from that weird restaurant in the Eiffel Tower?

Actually, in the audience tonight, we have Miss Rose, who did the Papillon Butterfly for the stage. That'd be amazing. Yes. All right. Your name, your James Bond villain, and your question. Name is Scott, from Chicago. the James Bond girl or villain?

Oh girl. Girl we'll go doggy style. You can't name a person doggy. How about like Dorothy style? This is alright. Dorothy style? Christmas is okay because you can see like, oh we got drunk, we fucked, it was Christmas, I get it. Like, we're not going to go like, oh we can zoom in. What about this? Pussy Galore is just cat and dog, you can do it. There's a precedent. We fucked, we were listening to the Snoop Dogg record, Doggy Style, so we named her

Doggy Style. Doggy Style, Sinjin Smite. What is your question? My question is, I'm not quite sure on the timeline, but did this movie actually invent snowboarding? Because if it existed before, they would clearly know that The Beach Boys is inappropriate music. It's credited with popularizing it and putting it into mainstream, I think. Oh wow. But I'm sure it existed in the previous years.

Yeah, I'm sure it did. Because somebody had to do it. That is clearly a snowboard that that guy is using. Now you would think you have a really good question. Let's see if you have it. Is it good? I think so. Alright, what's your name? You're James Bond girl, and your question?

Here we go. My name is Erin, and I think, like, Juggsy Malone. I like it. What about mine, Borg? Juggsy Malone. Juggsy Malone. I like it. What's her cup size?

Triple D. Triple D? Triple D? I mean, it might suffocate you. Let's go back, double D? Yeah. My question is, towards the beginning of the film when they're in like the fuck boat. Fuck ship. The fuck sub? I apologize. Fuck sub. Getting a lady on my fuck sub. He says like put it on autopilot and they're

clearly like surrounded by large icebergs. Yep. And apparently we learned nothing from the Titanic because he's like, yeah, just put the boat on autopilot and they're like in the middle of a circle of large pieces of ice. Well, I think he was primarily concerned about dipping his dick in some caviar. Yeah, and here's the thing. The fucksub can get around, I mean, the Titanic was like 60 years previously. They've learned from that. I don't know if you know this. The autopilot and the fucksub is able around. I mean, Titanic was like 60 years previously. They've learned from that. I don't know if you know this. The autopilot in the fucksub is able to avoid icebergs.

A fucksub is powered by fucking. And so they are only in better shape. James, they're running out of steam. We must fuck. All right, here we go. We're almost done with our questions. Here we go. Your name, your James Bond girl, and your question.

My name is Nikki. My James Bond girl would be a duet to me. One more time. Stand up. That's perfect. Stand up and take that. Take a bow. She did it. Here we go. And I think my question is for June because we're in the same boat where Daniel Craig is all I know and then this.

Were you really creeped out by the sexual thing? I mean, at one time he says... Oh dear, oh dear, she has evidence. You were like a reporter. Like interviewing James Bond. I had trouble sleeping, but I got off eventually and that's because he had just slept with Grace Jones, which I was really creeped out by the... Well, but he was throwing it in Zorn's face that he blasted his lady

Like is in that scene where he appeared when Zorn and Grace Jones opened the door and he's lying in the bed He he presents himself as though he's a gift To the people and your point is as though he's a gift to the people. And it's just like, he's not, you know? And I'm sorry, and it's fine. Like, it's fine the way he looks. It's just, he's not a gift. When he does that and he opens the covers,

like essentially unwrapping himself, and she gets in bed, they cut like 40 frames out of her getting into bed, because she clearly was sharing it. She had to cut all that dildo action out. All right well clearly we had an opinion about this movie but there are other people who had a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions. These are five star reviews, called from Amazon. The most interesting one, before we get into them, is this guy, GoBirds2.

He reviews a view to a kill every single year. I can't believe you found my screen name. And he writes pretty much the same thing. I'm gonna just show the audience, this is pages, pages. Two, three, four, five, six. Do reviews get longer? Seven pages of Jude Hoek Kill reviews every single year.

He is from New England and he's a top 1,000 reviewer. Okay, so go read that. There's no way I wasn't gonna get into that. This one is from Matt, maybe one of you guys, five stars. I love collecting and watching James Bond movies. So far it's us. But here's a, I love collecting and watching James Bond movies during the winter

when there's nothing on nor anywhere to go. Oh. Oh, buddy. Because I pilot a fuck sub. Because it passes the time. It passes the time. That is why he likes it. Do you think that he lives in like the part of Alaska

that is dark for nine months? Doubt it. Patricia Applequist writes, wow, I forgot how silly we were back then. And better yet, it's a great throwback to what computers used to look like. Honestly, James Bond kisses must be fabulous because there isn't anything risque about them

except for the neon. I don't know what that means. What does that mean? What? Five stars. This person is reviewing this movie for five stars, saying that she likes looking at old computers and imagining sexy Roger Moore kisses.

That's weird. So if I came across this woman, and somehow in life I was like, you know, I like sometimes seeing old computers in movies. What? The first thing she'd say is view to a kill? There's two computers in this movie. Well, how about this?

Don't forget, she also likes non-sexualized kissing. When she watches war games, she just vibrates. She functions on a higher plane. Do you want to play a game? She functions on a higher plate. Do you want to play a game? This one... This one has so many... You guys are gross.

No, you guys are gross for laughing at that. Think about that, Misty Slit. This, um... this is pretty great I own all 21007 movies so now we can say this was written in like 19 this is written after Casino Royale 2005 yeah well technically it was written November 23rd 2013 I own all 21007 movies. If I didn't like them, I wouldn't have bought them. Fair enough. Oh, that is just sound logic.

I think what I like more than anything is when Bon gets in over his head, the scriptwriter always gets him out of it. Wait, so this guy appreciates movies on only the level of, I know eventually the guy that was writing this is gonna figure out how to get out of it. Five stars. I appreciate this for its dramatic challenges and its narrative flow.

And finally, this one. I'm a sucker for 80s movies and James Bond, so naturally I love this movie. Sure, Roger Moore is old and the plot is mediocre and the acting is too, but I don't care. The stunts are cool, the chicks are hot, except for Grace Jones. Oh!

She is too androgynous for any heterosexual man's taste. And it's James Bond for God sakes. James Bond is just the best. I don't see why so many people dislike this movie. I really don't. And am I the only one who likes this song by Duran Duran? The number one hit of its time?

No one has ever mentioned it! It's definitely one of the movie's strong points. Anyway, it's a cool movie, buy it. Cool movie, buy it. Wow, he really took off on Grace Jones there. Guys, I think we did... I love Grace Jones in this movie, actually. I think she's very good.

She's a great arrangement. For her horse. I love that... She's great. I thought, and she sold all of the action she did. 100%. For us, I feel like falls into a Brigitte Nielsen, by Ling kind of scenario.

Like a very funny, like compelling, like weird sidekick. And there's something about her on screen where she's like a little dangerous. Yeah, sure. And she slaps herself and it's exciting. Yeah, I would almost... I would almost say something... Her foreplay is violent. Why couldn't Mayday have just been the villain?

No, because the... No, wow. You can't do that. A, Paul, she owns zero blimps. True. True. true. How many blimps do you own? Oh, none. Oh, you can't be the villain then.

I have a safe. Do you have a blimp? No, I'm sorry. You got my safe and your blimp. You got my blimp and your safe. Hey, wait a minute. Third base. Do you guys recommend this movie?

I'm standing up for a reason but go ahead Recommend it I say no I really I but I you know it's it's very long You could watch some of the scenes if you wanted Yeah, I just wouldn't watch them in any sort of an order. But I wouldn't watch the whole movie is what I'm saying. It's, yeah. Like, especially you can fast-forward anything with horses in it, because it's not relevant to the rest of the movie. Whatsoever.

You could start watching the movie and then skip the entire, yeah, the entire horse auction is completely unnecessary. Yup. And it's very long. I would say watch it over and over and over again. I recommend this movie with every drop of blood that pumps through my heart. If you have a loved one, hold them close, turn down the lights, cuddle up on your couch or divan,

put on the movie, preferably Blu-ray. Don't stream it because the compression rates won't do it justice. Turn off your phones. No second screen? No second screen. This is a one screen experience. Unless you're gonna do like an Oculus Rift, just virtual reality.

Where you feel like you're falling off the Golden Gate Bridge. Which would be preferable to watching the movie? No! Get one of those little things you put on your iPhone that projects a movie on the ceiling and just lie back in bed on a bare skin rug on the bed. Just...

Eating caviar by the handful. You just told me, hang on, you just told me to get a Blu-ray of it, and now you're saying project it off your phone? Well, I just want you to get the Blu-ray to support it financially, but don't watch that. Just project it on the ceiling. You're in a big bed. You're in a fuckship.

And you just, you go into town. Yeah. Getting these ladies on my fucks. All right. Well, thank you. The men of James Bonding. Very excited for our crossover episode. Thank you so much for listening to our first ever crossover episode. Give it up to Matt Myra. give it up to Matt Gorley, all those amazing guys. Just some things to plug. We have a Twitter at HDTGM. You can always find all the up-to-date info there.

I also want to give a big huge shout out to Avril Halle who pulls all of our clips. She went deep to get some great clips in this episode. Also, Nate Kiley, our researcher, although he could not best Matt and Matt. These guys knew a lot of shit. And you can follow me on Twitter, you can follow June on Twitter, follow us on Instagram as well.

You can do whatever you want, and make sure you check out, Frank Pierre presents the Pierre Resort and Casino Hotel on YouTube, my new adult swim infomercial. Alright that is all for us right now. I want to give a thanks to July Diaz who recorded the episode, Leanna Waldron who does all of our artwork, everybody over at Earwulf. Thank you so much and we'll see you next time.