How Did This Get Made? - Fifty Shades of Grey LIVE! (w/ Jessica St. Clair)

Episode Date: February 9, 2024

Time to enter the Red Room of Pain. That's right, all star guest Jessica St. Clair joins Paul, June, & Jason to bite their lips while breaking down the least sexy movie about sex ever—2015's Fifty Shades of Grey starring Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan. LIVE from Largo, the HDTG-BDSM crew discuss Christian and Anna's "meet puke", googling what a butt plug is, CGI pubes, fuck jeans, and so much more. DISCLAIMER: As our submissive, you must sign a consent contract before listening to this episode. UPCOMING TOUR DATES IN: Belfast, Dublin, Glasgow, & London! Go to hdtgm.com for tix and info.Pre-Order Paul’s book about his childhood, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, wherever books are soldFor extra Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerHDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

This podcast has rules. If you follow them, I'll reward you. If you don't, I'll punish you. Now, let's begin. Siri, order butt plugs. We saw 50 shades of gray. So you know what that means Shame they calling the youth to true Gonna take you from the home all the way to the road Bring your hands to strength by the hopes of a wall of steam Just a sucker, plus the eye, like the tip of the bridge I'm a bloody demigod, you stand alive They call me one of the badass in these on the line Cracking their big limits cause they cool his ass Cause the bad Jim Barney looking kind of nice

All his shoes get in like a wood jayson is getting laid Jonas making sure all the monkey shots hit him pain They're just as much as movies, why they making the grade We are alive for the first part of our Valentine's Trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey, based on the best-selling Twilight fanfic. This movie is hot, or it thinks it's hot. If you don't know, if you've not seen the movie, let me set it up for you. It involves a recent college grad named Anastasia who falls in love with a 27-year-old billionaire

who likes to do weird shit. Is he a stalker? Is he a creep? Or does he like, yes is the answer, and you're not wrong. People in the BDSM community do not like this movie. They think they got it all wrong. And maybe the reason why is because the woman who wrote the fanfic of Twilight, who was almost sued by the producers of Twilight

for the similarities to the exact movie and book was on set to make sure not a word deviated from the fanfic. So that gives you just a little idea of what we're in store for. It's a movie where not much happens, but yet it's two hours and 11 minutes. All right, ladies and gentlemen, to break down this film.

I have some amazing co-hosts and I have a very special guest. Please welcome to the stage Mr. Jason Manzukas! Oh! What's up, Jerks? Here we go. Here we go, Argo. Holy shit! Night one, 50 Shades of Grey. You know, Paul, when you told me 50 Shades of Grey

was what we were doing, I was like, three nights, three movies, great idea. Home run. 20 minutes into this movie today, I was like, oh no, we're fucked! Oh no! Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh no, when I was zoning out of sex scenes, when I was like, oh, there's boobs on screen,

I'll go make more coffee. This is, these are singular events for me. I've never not paid attention to tits on screen. Today, I was like, I don't know. What? A movie about sex that feels the least sexy of anything I've seen. Wow!

It's sincere. It makes me feel awkward. There is more sexual tension between Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock in Demolition Man. And they are father and daughter. Than in this movie. This is straight nonsense. Well, I'm happy that you...

And that there's two more... I'm not gonna let you talk. And that there's two more is absolutely chilling. You gotta... Where does it go? I will be dead. And that there's two more is absolutely chilling. You gotta. Where does it go? I will be dead by Friday. Ha ha ha. We have so much to talk about,

but let's bring out my other co-hosts. Please welcome to the stage Miss June Diane Raphael. Oh my gosh. Welcome June, how are you? I'm okay, how are you? I'm doing well. June, fifty-fifths of gray. I, oh gosh, I'm so scared to say, I think I liked this movie. Oh!

Oh! Oh! What? Oh! I'm so happy you said that. And I'm so happy you didn't say any of that backstage. I... Team Fred fracturing at the seams.

I know, I don't know what to say. I feel so exposed. I feel like Dakota Johnson. I feel like I'm tied up right now. And I'm out of control and I'm just trusting you all. Oh, I feel so naked. I feel so naked. There's no way she's a virgin in this movie.

I buy it. When that was... How did she get anybody? She doesn't have a computer. Quick question. And also, Jason, Jason, here's how you know a woman in her 20s is a virgin. The shirt. She wears shirts with patterns.

Yes, and sweaters. The shirt-sweater combination should have keyed me in. When she was wearing it and the roommate was like, is that what you're wearing? And I was like, yeah, is that what she's wearing? Is that what you're wearing? What are they trying to tell me? She works in a hardware store.

Every hardware store I've ever been in are just old men who smell like cigarettes. Honestly, I was shocked they let her work there. Why would you? She seemed not handy at all. I mean, I thought for sure. Her interest in hardware and her knowledge of knobs and wrenches are...

It's gonna beautifully play into the third act when she takes the reins. She's like, oh, no, you need this rope to be able to carry more weight. The one thing... The one thing this movie got wrong, there's only one, is that in the BDSM community,

cable ties have been cut out and that's the one thing that supplies him. Because of permanent damage to your submissive. If you worked. I do research. I do my research. If you work in a hardware store. You absolutely know when someone is ordering a beginner creep set. Here's my thing. If you told me this was a dumber story, I would believe you.

It runs a very similar track. Now, I want to talk to you about this movie so much, but I'm not sure if you're going to believe me. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure? I would believe you. It runs a very similar track. Now, I want to talk to you about this movie so much, but we have to introduce. Do we have to? No, we must.

We must. Introduce our very special guest. She's not just a how did this get made also. She is a how did this get made alternate. She is one of the family. If there was four, how did this get made? People, she she is one of the family. If there was four, how did this get made? People, she would be the fourth... Which there are not.

No. Now. Nor will there ever be. Okay. She is the co-host of the Deep Dive. Please welcome to the stage, Jessica St. Clair. Hello, hello. Welcome, Jessica, welcome.

I want you guys to know that I did my notes on my phone, and it started with math. It was like Beebe's math homework, so it says study multiplication, threes. And then it says anal fisting. Vaginal fisting. What are butt plugs? I would like to fuck you into next Wednesday. That's what's up. Those are the only notes you took. And by the way, incredible.

Can I say this? Are those notes or did you have like the voice text out? Is that a to-do? I don't know. Now, I want to say something about anal. I want to say something about anal fisting and vaginal fisting. Yeah, I really, I also want to say something about anal. I want to say something about anal fisting and vaginal fisting. I really, I also want to say something about anal fisting. Say it. So, okay, so anal fisting, anal fisting and vaginal fisting.

Also thank you June for moving down and not letting her sit so close to me. No problem, no problem. I don't want to be a poet. Go ahead June. I actually thought, now I haven't read the books. I didn't know anything about this movie. You read the books thought, now I haven't read the books, I didn't know anything about this movie. You read the books?

No, I haven't read the books. I haven't either. Wait, out of curiosity, have any of us read the books or have any of us seen the movies? I read sections of the books. What? Excuse me? That's so much worse than reading a book.

It's too easy. Also, what are you talking about? What are you talking about? Paul? Paul, okay. What are you talking about, Paul? That's like, I've only seen some scenes in a porno. Wait.

It's like, oh wait, no, I know I've seen at least one scene from True Detective Season 1. Did you order the book, Paul, or did you do that weird thing where you're like in a Barnes & Noble and you're like, this is weird? It was like in the corner, just like flipping through, flipping through. I purchased the book because I like literature and I like knowing what's going on in pop culture. I had the book on my shelf for quite some time,

the first one. That was a shit, but it's getting delivered, I think. And there was a passage I remember that he was describing going down on her, like eating an oyster. And he described it as a salty, sweet taste. And that image of an oyster and that, it was like, ooh, I don't know if you want to put shellfish and oral sex together in a pa...

I don't think that's like the best thing. Briny. Well, if you're getting a taste of the sea, you need to end that date. That pH balance is off. You are mine. You are mine and brined. Ooh, crack you open.

Listen, I haven't read it. Did you use a minuet sauce before he went down on her in the book? I'm so upset. This Oh! I'm so upset. This movie! I'm really upset. That's the book though! That's not in the movie. My notes are, I'm looking at them, completely insane.

Yeah, as are mine. I did write this, look, we don't want a King Chain, we don't want to yuck anybody's yum. Not at all. But this is like the same way when I saw Sylvester Stallone eat pizza with a fork and knife. We have to call out it's weird. I love pizza.

That's not the way we are. Okay, but here's the thing. I did not... Well, I'm gonna reveal something. So surprised. I found... I guess I don't know. I thought there was gonna be more

stuff going on. I know, I know there's two more movies. I know there's two more movies, but in this one, I was like, I saw that list of things he wanted to do. And by the way, anal festing and vaginal festing, I believe that Christian Gray put on that list to negotiate with. Right, he did it all. I feel like he's like...

It's like when you put stuff in a movie that you know the MTA is gonna get flashed and you can pull it out. Exactly, so you have somewhere to go. Right, he wants to negotiate. That's really interesting. I had an issue though, how did they read that contract? It was so dark in that room.

It was so dark. Very dark. But to me, I was like, all he really seems to wanna do is tie her hands up and go down on her for hours. And that's great. Very dark. But to me, I was like, all he really seems to want to do is tie her hands up and go down on her for hours. And that's great. Hours. And that's great.

And that's great. And she gets to sleep in her own room. Oh, that's a dream. That's a dream for most women. And the dream comes true. She would keep them saying, why can't we go to sleep together? I was like, why? Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why didn't he ask? But I'll be honest, this guy is giving me big Patrick Bateman yes. This guy every day, to me, like it's as if Dakota Johnson lives in a time, or I'm so sorry, Anastasia Steele.

I want to be very clear. This big, as Paul said at the sorry, Anastasia Steele. I wanna be very clear, this began, as Paul said at the beginning, this began as Twilight fan fiction. I believe I would have preferred it. Shockingly, I think I'm going to wind up preferring the Twilight movies over these movies. Twilight movies are great.

Yeah, they're great. Regardless. They're hot. That's hot. Yes, they have chemistry. Fuck it, you is hot. They have hot. Yes, they have chemistry. Fuck it, you is hot. This is in hot. Okay, stop making ceaseless eye contact with me. That's what it was like when we got married.

Screaming because they're hot, because vampires are hot at me. I know, I'm agreeing. No one is anti-team vampire, although some of us are team werewolf. But she's in a world in which Anastasia Steel, it's not 2015, it's in fact later, would come up in the world being obsessed with true crime and true crime podcasts and murder podcasts and murder world.

Every red flag in the world. We're living in a different time. We can't find this pot anymore. That exists when this felt like, I'll try it. They can't find, they can't find a picture of him on the internet. This man is a 27 year old billionaire. The four pictures on the internet

are scenes from later in the movie. Come on in. There's a one scene of him in the coffee shop. I want to get into that Google search engine. How did they get this ended? There's another scene, another picture of him in the hardware store. Where is Google getting these pictures? This is a great place, a great spot to ask the question,

what does the gray corporation do? It's a media conglomerate. I know, I know. Business, yeah. It's a media conglomerate. Just straight business. A lot of important business and telecommunications. They definitely said telecommunications, but...

And then she was like, but it seems like you have like a real sweet side or whatever because you do all this charity work and he's like, oh, I'm not really. He's trying to be like Bruce Wayne, but no Batman. Well, his Batcave is very different. I guess that's it. He does have bats and weapons that just used not for the Joker.

Okay, here's my question though about his specific kinks. He has his kink, which is lots of slapping, which is fine, you know, that's fine. And different textures and feathers. Yeah, feathers, I love a feather. Feather dusting her or is he fucking her, I can't figure it out. No problem, dust me with a feather all night long. That's fine. I know, but I did feel that there was,

he makes a big statement of like, I fuck, I don't make love. I fuck hard. But then like, I never saw you fuck hard. And I had to close captioning on him. He used to fuck so slowly. It was I fuck period hard. Period.

He just, the fucking did seem like making love. And I just, well that's where his internal conflict was. I know, but here's, okay, but here's my question. She's changing him. Here's my question. She's changing him. Here's my question. I understand, I think what his kink is in the playroom,

but when he takes out a belt and whips her six times, is that sexual or is what it, where are we? No, that's reliving his own trauma. That's the punishment. It is like, doesn't she say something to the effect of why don't you show me the punishment? Because he's saying, I'm not going to do what I would do. And she's saying, why don't you show me that?

Yes. Because that was honestly, that's the only problem I had with the movie is right there. That's it. Wait, that's it. That scene was the only problem. Really? That was just abuse. That I couldn't abide by. Wow.

And I won't. But she asked for it. She did ask for it enthusiastically. Paul, be careful. Oh, my God. Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Oh, boy. The truth is if Paul had a playroom,

first of all, my first thought when I saw the movie... I like his organization. I will say his organization was top. Thank you. I knew you were going to be so into that. I did. I was like, oh, I would love to push in. But imagine you clean that apartment. You think he's putting all of those elements in place? Come on. No, we've got to have a full step. But if you're going to be so into that, you clean that apartment. You think he's putting all of those elements in place?

Come on. No, I didn't think about that. But if it was Paul's, it would just be like a bunch of different batteries, and then it would be different ropes for different things, different containers for snacks. That's what your playroom would be. Well, everything would be labeled., everything would be labeled, too. And everything would be labeled.

What, and this is weird all of a sudden? I'm being labeled. I also thought it was weird. Sure, I get my cable ties. I get some masking tape. I go meet young girls at the hardware store. It's no big deal. I keep an organized pantry.

I thought it was strange that there was no insert shot of a Brother P touch that Christian Gray was using to label everything. Typing in fuck jeans, putting it on a hanger. Flogger. That was a terrible moment. That's a flogger, he says. I was like, pfft. Here's what I'll say, where, just to slightly disagree about the ending,

I felt like she could take that hit because of the way that she fell on her face the first time we see her. I'm like, this girl's falling all the time. The way she falls in that opening scene... I'm crazy. I don't even understand the physics of it. I read wow. If I think like a ghost pushed her down. I would love it if there was a ghost in this movie.

I think there was one. Please, please, let there be a ghost. I did rewind that moment, Paul, a few times because I was like, what did you triple for? There's no way. There's nothing there. And why? It's a marble floor.

It's a smooth marble floor. It's a heavy door that when she hits it, it's as if it's nothing. And she's like, I thought it was gonna be heavy. And then instead like, whoa. it was gonna be heavy, and then instead like, whaa! I thought his hot assistant like pushed her at the last second. The offices, everybody's the way they're dressed,

the way it's laid out, looks like it's from a shitty music video or something like that. The entire world is foundationally unbelievable. Yeah. So much so that, again, deeply wish it was just Twilight. Like, I wish it had something. Like, I wish we understood what his world was, what her world was. Immediately, we never get access to him.

And she's like, no, I left school. Now I live here, but who knows what I'm doing? I don't even understand where she's moving to or from. Like, she seems to be moving out of an apartment to just move to another apartment. But she's like, is she far away from him? Are they together? I never knew when we were in Seattle,

when we were outside of Seattle. I think we're always in Seattle. No, because there were times he's like, we're going to Seattle. Yeah. I thought you were there. Oh, and we need to get in a helicopter to go there. We got to get in the chopper to go to Seattle.

Guys, if I am going on a first date with somebody and he's just, like, surprised, we're getting in a helicopter, I'm just like, do you have a license? Like, she's just like, yay! And then, like, the whole time they're flying, he's just staring into her eyes like a psycho. I'm like, keep your eyes on the fucking sky!

She's got that! Forget that! I don't want to go down! This guy's love language is flying. Yeah, why? Whenever he makes a mistake, he's like, at the bigger the mistake, the weirder the airplane. Here's the deal. He's too young.

He's too young to be a good enough pilot for this to work. This is insane. No. I don't want to go zero G with you, asshole. I don't know who you are. There are multiple. They also are in a glider in this. What was that?

It was zero and engine. No, that's a glider. I don't know what a glider is. I have roots. Jess, are you okay? I'm really worried that the second movie is going to have a hot air balloon. If it does, I'm going to flip the second movie is gonna have a hot air balloon. Ha ha ha! If it does, I'm gonna flip.

I love it. She's just like bent over the hot air balloon. Ha ha ha! And he's like... Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Here's the deal None of this even everything we're saying none of this is sexy No, it's not none of it is sexy in any way June is not a good test on anything Here's what I'm saying. I will say, Junior, you're right. It's true. You're right in the sense that there is unquestionably

beautiful people photographed beautifully. And in a way that I was like, oh, these are hot people. Absolutely. There's just no spark or a chemist. It's as if people were playing with dolls. I was going to say, they are as hot as mannequins, and I am as emotionally connected to them as mannequins. The mannequins are like, yeah, that's a body.

That's a body, I don't think. That's how bodies go together. Like, there's nothing to me about Christian Gray that's like, whoa, he's like, he has Patrick Bateman energy. It's like that opening scene is like that scene where Blum DeFoe is interviewing Patrick Bateman in American Psycho like that opening scene is like that scene where Blum Defoe is interviewing Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, where he's trying to find out if he killed him.

I mean, that's as much chemistry as you're getting. Like he's not smooth, he's not charming. He has less charisma than Patrick Bateman. He's got no Riz. He's got no Riz. He's got zero Riz. Okay, define Riz. He's got that Riz, baby.

Oh, no, you can't use it in a specific... Try again. Try again. You can't use the word we want you to define. You're so close. Try again. That's some hot Riz, baby. Put that Riz on me, baby. You're getting further and further. You're getting further and further.

I want you to Riz all over, baby. Who has Riz? Who has Riz? You get Jess further away. I want you to Riz all over my face, baby. Do you think Riz is related to Jizz? Jess, who has Riz? Who has Riz? Don't say Riz, I meant it. Who has Riz? None of those people in that movie have the Riz. I'll tell you who has Riz.

Dakota Johnson's stepdad after that Gospacho rant, I was like, all right, I like this guy. I like this guy, I like his energy. He's the only person that gave me any bit of life. He's like, he's doing bits. He's like, hey, man, I want a Gospacho. It's like, you know, it's awesome. I'm like, oh, thank God, a human being.

Yeah. Someone. Her biological dad know, I would say also, like, oh my god. Thank God, a human being. Yeah, someone, her biological dad too. I liked shows up at her graduation. Like, Hey kid, what do you need? Ba ba ba. Lovely, lovely man. Why are these people having such a hard time getting to her graduation? It seems like a big deal.

Yes. The mom doesn't go because the dad broke his foot. Yeah, the step the four golfing dad. And then the other guy is like so late that he's like popping in. It looks like he was in the procession of students. He's like, oh, I saved you a seat. How? How did you save me?

It's so hard though, there are certain things in these movies, these big budget movies where it's like, it's so weird, the excuses are so weird and the exposition is so damn odd that I'm forced to believe it. I'm like, I guess. It has to be true. It has to be true because it is so wild that the stepdad can't come because of a broken toe.

That the mom wouldn't have. I'm sorry, that the mom can't have. But that's the whole thing. That's why she puts herself in this. And I feel when I'm speaking about this movie in a normal way that I'm like, I wrote this for my senior women's studies thesis. Yeah, I know, I know, it's tricky. It's the women's territory.

But this is why she's in these relationships. She's not being put first by anybody. And then Christian, right, puts her first. What? Can we agree that she was kidnapped? What do you mean? Oh yeah, for sure. Out of the bar, she pukes and he's like,

you're coming with me. Yeah. And then she's like, held hostage in her room. I'm so sorry, but also- And dressed up like this. Why is he there? It's inappropriate. She calls him to tell him off.

He shows up and abducts her. Yeah, he tracks her. She's in a blackout, wakes up in a... It's a meat puke. LAUGHTER It's the best joke of the night right there. LAUGHTER Um, holy shit. But, I mean, his arrival, as if this is like...

He's a knight in shining armor who's coming to rescue her from being drunk? as if this is like he's a knight in shining armor who's coming to rescue her from being drunk? She's- From Jose? Get the fuck outta here, this is a- Poor Jose. This is a villain.

He's a villain. Yes. Christian Grey is a villain. Wow, wow, wow, this is hurtful. And- This is hurtful. And Taylor is his hatchet man. Taylor's doing some shit. Selling cars.

He's doing some shadow work. Oh, big time. What happened to those other 15 girls that shared the red room or whatever? He's a... Those are moments in this movie where they are sort of... They lambed his comedy, but you know they're not supposed to be.

And I laughed so hard. when Dakota Johnson is in that room and she says, how many women have been in this room? How many women have been in this room? Yeah. Okay, June, June, can we take it again? But just less. And then end with this. How many women are in this room?

And he says so quickly, he says 15. Yeah. I cried laughing. It's just like... Another moment I don't think was supposed to be funny, but I laughed was when he does start to open up about his past trauma and what happened to it. Four, and she looks over and she's asleep. LAUGHTER She is sleepy-talking. and what happened to it when he was four and she looks over and she's asleep.

She is sleepy, Tati. Oh, when she was sleepy. She is sleepy, sleepy, sleepy. When she revealed that she was a virgin, I laughed so hard. That was crazy. I was like, absolutely not. There's no way, shape or form. It's so funny though.

It's not even being played that way. I know, and here's, again, my only other critique. My only other is, like, we actually, we didn't need her to be a virgin. And that's where I just felt like E.L., like, let her, she can still have a sexual past and be opened up to. Well, it's strange because she's older than Bella

from Twilight. Right, Bella's in high school. Bella's high school student. Bella being a virgin seems like, okay, she's young. Like, to then map this onto, then I'm like, well, what world is this and what world are we in? And I don't understand it and I feel uncomfortable. Yeah, well, because it's not that she's...

I didn't sign anything. Well, the fact that I... I didn't understand it and I feel uncomfortable. Yeah. Well, because it's not that she's... I didn't sign anything. Well, the fact that I... You didn't sign a goddamn thing. I did not consent to the movie happening to me. By the way! By the way, when she signs that NDA in the beginning, he's like, here's an NDA. She's like, yes. Love it. Please.

No red flags there. She wants... That's when she says. Are you going to make love to me now? This is a virgin. By the way, are you going to make love to me now? She just worked an eight-hour shift at the hardware store. Yeah.

Got in a helicopter. Yeah. Flew for about another 40 minutes. Let her take a shower. She's like, why don't you show me your ball peen hammer? That's a great joke. No. I will say. You ball peen hammer? That's a great joke. No, you have to explain it. It's a great joke.

By the way, I will say that she reacts to sex and things of sex in 2015, so scared. When she looks at what bondage is, ah, closes that laptop so quickly. And I was like, wow, that's freaking you. Like you. They were very tame images too. Yeah.

Also her question. Google search is safe was on. What is a butt plug? She had time. She's taken four weeks to look at that contract. She had time to Google that. You're a 20, you're also a 20 something in 2015. You know what a butt plug is.

You don't know what a butt plug is. You never heard butt plug. My question is why does he have to pick the pharmacist? He doesn't have to pick the pharmacist, babe. He has to pick the doctor. That's fucking creepy. I thought he had to. That is so creepy.

That is so creepy. Oh, yeah! Now, I do... Now, I do that... Oh, you pick Paul! I do that for June because I just don't trust any man around her. I mean, she says to him on their first meeting, so you're a control... Sorry.

So you're a control... And he says, oh, I exercise control in all things Miss Steel. Fuck you, movie. Fuck... This is, like, porn character names. In a... This movie, like, Cinemax movies are more sexual.

More satin-sad as finally. Red shoe diaries gets it right. In a not, this movie, like, cinemax movies are more sexual, more satisfyingly. Red shoe diaries gets it right. Silt stockings is better than this shit. Yes, where's the Covney? Yeah. I like, yeah. Here's another red flag. Here's the biggest red flag.

If you are on a date with somebody and they're like, wanna see me play my grand piano, that means you are about to get killed, yeah, or whipped with a peacock feather. Or you're dating Billy Joel. That's right, and that's a good scenario. But when have you ever been like, ooh, that's so sexy, that man's playing that grand piano.

Now we've seen it in Pretty Woman. I'm so sorry, Chrissy Teigen, you don't listen to her. I cheat, yes, I cheat. It's true, Woman. I'm so sorry, Chrissy Teigen, you don't listen to her. I cheat, yes. It's true. It's like not a guitar. It's not the sexiest instrument. I don't want, listen, I don't want any man to play music to me. Me neither.

I don't want any man to play music to me. I don't want to see you playing sad songs on your Casio keyboard. But if it's something that... If it's gonna be an instrument. I would take a guitar. Well, I mean, the guy has a cheese ball, right? Because I was looking at him, I'm like, I don't even think his style of dress is cool. Like, when they go out to walk in the woods,

like, I don't like the way he's dressed. That's Banana Republic. That's the Mad Men Collection from 1994. He's not dressed like he's on Succession. Yes, no, you know what I mean? Like, Trude Wealth. He's a billionaire. He's the youngest billionaire.

What was the headline? I can't remember. Youngest billionaire in business. Yes. She majored in English lit and minored in lip biting. Is that right? I like when he becomes a sex terminator. He's like, your legs moving.

That means that you're wet. Your eyes are going like this. That means that you've never been fucked at night. Your ears are just like, what? How do you know all of this? Suddenly he's like, your legs moving. That means that you're wet. Your eyes are going like this. That means that you've never been fucked at night. Your ears are just like, what? How do you know all of this? Suddenly he's Sherlock. Yeah. He's like, he goes into his memory palace

and understands fucking everything that's happening. By the way, give me that version of it, but he is done. How did he just get me? How did he just get me? How did he find her at the bar? He tracked her phone? Who knows? But that's like the thing we're led to believe.

Does he have his guy following her? Taylor's probably following Taylor. I also think it's some of the telecommunications he's up to. Tracker. Tracker phone. I will say that this is a funny thing that I noticed and was confirmed for me today, that when she hangs up there's a dial tone, but that's on a cell phone. Aw.

Aw. Nobody caught it. Oh, God. Buh-huh. Nobody caught it. What about that weird dance she does when they're in the middle of that, like, Frank Sinatra moment? That's the other thing.

I can't go back and forth between romance and then all that crazy shit. I also can't. Here's another hall I also can't here's another hallmark I realized there's another hallmark of a bad movie of one of our bad movies We're in all the needle drop songs inside of it the Frank Sinatra song accepted our covers Are bad covers of a song that they want to use right but are not and I was like this movie is just Drowning in shitty covers of songs in a way that are the kid I am. But slow covers too.

Like they're not, yeah, they're like, plotting. Let's make that real slow. Like and now it's sexy. This movie is trying so hard to be sexy. Like this movie is Anastasia Steel, right? Like it is like, that's sexy. I'm a virgin. I know what sexy sex is. Like, that's what it feels like.

So if you're at home, just pull that quote from Paul and put a song in there. Make it a second opinion. But, I mean, don't you feel like that? Like, because I guess the whole thing is... It's so hard, because I don't even remember there. As Paul knows, there's a lot of, like, cultural moments that I just dip out of.

I'm not a part of. And this was one of them. I don't remember. I have a vague recollection of one of my sisters who I never saw read a book and had no interest in books or literature, just sitting with 50 shades of gray. Like, oh, my God. like sitting with 50 shades of gray. Like... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha! And I was like, why is she reading a book? Like it was so crazy. Well, it was also such a cultural, a cultural like movement. This book was massive, these books. Yeah, and so I guess they were just

pouring for women. And that's great, and that's wonderful. And listen, that's why I struggled with the last scene because I love that for women, and I love that this movie does that for, that's all wonderful. But I just, the last scene when she's just simply, you know, being abused is tough.

It's a tough one to swallow. To swallow, you know, it's tough to move on from. But this movie also is doing something really interesting because the movie really, like, if you were to arc it out, if you were like, what is this movie? Like, what are the acts of this movie? It's like, there's nothing there. It's like, they meet, he're like, what is this movie? Like, what are the acts of this movie? It's like, there's nothing there. It's like, they meet.

He's like, hey, I'd like you to sign this contract so I can beat you up. And she's like, I'll think about it. She never does. He's like, well, I'll give you a sample. And she's like, I'm out. And that was it. That's the movie.

Like, it's like... I think, so I don't know, because we haven't seen, I guess we'll find out tomorrow night, but... Does she ever say yellow? Does she ever say yellow? Does she ever say red? She hasn't signed the contract. But she's gonna sign it, right?

She's for sure gonna sign it. No, she walked out. She's definitely gonna sign it. She's never gonna sign it. She's never gonna marry. She's never gonna come back. I mean, it has to. There's so many people at home.

I think it's different people. So many listeners who've read the books or watched these movies are like, shut up! Can I, can I tell you? So sorry. No one wrecked this, no one wrecked this, because I think in the second movie,

she becomes the dominant and he becomes the submissive. Cause that's what I'm getting in my head. I'm like, oh! I don't wanna see that. That's what's getting balled. What'd you go with it? She's like, stop! And he's like, oh.

Yeah, that's kinda hot. Like, he's coming. Is this my question? She's reigniting that woman who raped him. By the way, this is a movie about a man who's been raped and it's taking, he can't have normal sexual relations. That's also underneath him, right? I think we can all agree.

But oh, yeah. I mean, we don't need that, EL. We don't need that part. So we're talking about a May, December storyline underneath this movie. I'm like, wow, all right, cool. We'll just drop that in here. She was older than me. Don't worry about it. I'm like, wow, all right, cool. We'll just drop that in there. She was older than me.

Don't worry about it. I'm fine. He has more chemistry with Marcia Gay Hardin than who plays his adoptive mother than he does with Dakota Johnson. Is it really the aura? They also, when they do finally have sex, it is like, and again, she has been revealed to be a virgin.

He is just ramming it in straight away, and it is like the fantasy element of it. I was like, I don't get, I just couldn't, I couldn't, there was no intimacy, and I guess that's purposeful on his part. No intimacy inside of this. But for her, I was like, in that way that she was like then alone, and I was like, wait, there's no cuddling? There's no, what is happening to him? No, Jason, there's not. But to him, this is the most- She gets to sleep alone in a bed.

I'm sorry, that sounds great. It's hot. I mean- Hey. Have a whole bed to yourself? It's wonderful. Hey. It is. No, but we're seeing Christian Grey at the most intimate.

He's like, I've never slept in a bed with a woman. But then he does it over and over again. That's what I'm saying. Like, he's breaking... It's so like, no, you obviously do. He's breaking his own rules because she's actually the dominant. And he is submitting. That's interesting.

She's like, I want a date. And he's like, well, I'll give you a date. He doesn't realize she fucking Jedi mind tricked him. She's like, no. Well, I do think, listen, I do think that that is a reading of the movie that's absolutely available, that she's really the dom. He's really the submissive.

I just think it falls apart at the very end, fortunately. Was this movie like The Hobbit in that... Uh, go on. Wait. Go on. And that it's shot in a high frame rate? In that they knew they were gonna shoot... Did they shoot all three at once?

Not at once, but I do think they, I do think there was some understanding that they would be able to. Well, because the books were coming out, right, yes. So the books were coming out, they knew that they were signed on for three. Now the big story was that Charlie Hunnam was supposed to be Christian Gray.

And then like dropped out like, it seemingly right, like, right before. They might have even... Did they shoot some of him? I think he was on the plane going to Vancouver. Okay, they shot... They did shoot some of him. Yeah. Why did you drop that? And then the other thing I believe... He couldn't transition from his sons of anarchy character

into this character in a picture. That's what he said. And then I think there was... There is also, and somebody I'm sure will correct me if I'm wrong, Dakota Johnson and Janey Dornan despised each other. Really? I think that's been debunked. Oh, is that right?

Okay, then great. I don't know. Okay. I don't know. See it in! News! I mean, truly, I'm trafficking in the gossip of the moment and nothing more.

Yes, and it seems that that was just some sort of fabrication. Got it. They are very, very close with each other. Well, I would imagine. Like, that's what I was also thinking about too. This is a movie that to me is kind of a nightmare because it's like they are fucking so much that it like... That's a yeast infection waiting to happen.

It just feels like, apparently, they put hidden cameras around all the rooms so it could have, like, more privacy for those scenes. So I think that that seems like a nice thing. Isn't it so interesting? Oh, yeah, sorry. And they also did CGI pubic hair. Oh, wow. What? Why did they put in pubes post in post?

Oh, our pubes CGI budget really knocked this budget. You mean instead of a merkin on the day? But why? No, I bet. Wait, is that what... I'm genuine. Is that what you're asking? No, I honestly, I'm trying to understand.

I heard they called in Frank Oz, the guy did Yoda to do, like, the pubework. It is such a good question. No, why? It's such a good question. It's such a good question. Originally, it is such a good question. No, why would it be such a good question? Good question. Originally, each of their privates talked. His was the voice. His was the voice. Oh, my God.

It's such a good question because there's so many shots where you can't see her pubes, and it just looks like there is. She's a bald eagle. And God bless America. But then... Our national bird. But then... Our national bird. But then all of a sudden they are there in one year.

I also have to say, as a guy who's that organized and that neat, I don't think he'd be raw dog in his pants like that. I think he would be wearing some underwear. He feels to me like a guy who's like, I only wear underwear once. Yeah, like he doesn't feel like a guy who puts on like slacks over dick and balls. Yeah, that seems patently insane.

Also, isn't it funny to think we live in a world right now where there are multiple think pieces constantly being put out there about how young people think sex scenes shouldn't be in movies. What? Really? They don't want sex scenes to be... I read all of Jason's blog posts. Have you read them? They're great think-bees.

There is a whole movement amongst young people that sex scenes shouldn't be a part of movies. They are not appropriate to be in movies, etc., etc., etc. And only nine years ago, this was... it was nothing but sex nonsense from top to bottom. Wow, what's their problem with them? Young people, you tell me. Let's go out to the audience.

Let's find out from the young people. And by young, we mean 35. 35 is what we're looking for. All right, your name and your question. Hi, Danielle. And my question is, why is his obsession with him having sex and jeans and just jeans, right? In like one scene, he's like in a full suit, they're having like a sexy combo, and then it cuts, and he's like just in jeans? Can I ask...

There is fuck jeans, like he gets, he's like, yeah. Is that part of the books? Is that like a... It is. Is that this... is that this? Okay, yeah, okay. No, this is a safe space if you explain the fucking stuff at all It's it's like his costume for the red room. Okay. Oh Like it thank you. This is the Lord's work right here. We need this She read the book today, can I ask? She read the book today.

Can I ask her a question? Yes, the whole book today. A plus. Can I ask her a question? What's your name? Rhea. Rhea. Why is it called the red room in the books

and the playroom in the movie? So that's Anastasia's view of it, the red room of pain, and his playroom. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Wow, okay. We're gonna come back to you

because it's fresh in your head if we have other questions. I was gonna say, is there anything else that we've been wondering about tonight or asked about that you have answers to that you wanna share? And no pressure if not. I don't think so. That's fine.

You read it too? No, no, no, no. Somebody had a detailed poll over here. But you have a question. Okay, we have, no. All right. Somebody had a detail, Paul, over here. You have a question. Okay, we have, this is the first. An audience member has a question for the person who read. Wow. No, Paul.

Wait, this is an audience member to audience member question? Are we allowed to wait in or should we just go? Should we leave the stage? Okay. All right. Your name? Rochelle. And Rochelle, what is your question for our other audience member?

Are they correct about the CGI pubes? Well, she wouldn't know that from reading the book. She didn't say she worked on the set. Do you think that I'm correct? Well, you didn't say that the pubes are not. I'm correct, I know it's right. Ask me, yes. You blew it, Rochelle, you blew it.

All right, going back to the guys now in reading the book, I think the question. I think the question for Ray was, is there explicit mention of her pubes in the book? Are they a character? Sorry to ask you this. I'm so sorry to ask you that. Are they in the book referred to as computer generated? You are saying an emphatic yes about the pubes. Like, why emphatically? Every time it is mentioned when he travels down there,

it is a journey through the pubicare. Wow. Wow. The hunt for pubes, colden the journey through the pubes. This is some real nonsense. If you have to fight your way through a thicket, like sleeping, motherfucking beauty,

it is time to wax! That is it, huh? That's all he's in the hardware store, trying to get a weed wacker or something like that. All right, so... You shouldn't have to journey through those pubes ever. All right, your name. Hi, Simone. or something like that. You should have to journey through those pubes ever. All right, your name?

Hi, Simone. So I think it's kind of one of the worst cast movies of all time, is universally recognized. Do you have alternate suggestions for casting? Ooh, great question, great question. I mean, when it was filmed, I was probably 34, so... And I must have been 27. I could have been playing 27 at that age,

so I don't know if... That's a... Yeah, it's tough to be period specific to 2015. It could be from now, we're told, yes. Can it be? Yes. Can it be? Can it be? Yes.

Can it be? Yes. Can it be? Can it be? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? You got to read this, baby. I'll think about it. Yeah, I mean, this is a good question because it's like, you know, there's a part of me that goes, uh, you know, maybe I could see, well, it's like, what do you want from Christian Grey? You want like a sexy, confident guy. Listen, I haven't read the book, so I don't know, but for me, their blankness worked. Like I didn't need more from them than for them to be done. Boy did I. I would have loved so much more from both of them.

But June, are you saying that you like the traditional man-woman movie like this? Boo. Yes, yes. I also like a man-woman movie. That's a reference to another episode of How Did This Get Made? Yes. All right. Did you have a question?

Okay. Hi. I'm Yasmin. Can we talk about her friend for a second? Kate. Yes, please. Valedictorian. Who knew?

Her friend. Who knew? How did she, by the way, how did she become valedictorian when Dakota Johnson is out there doing her work for her? How did she become a valedictorian when one of her questions are, are you gay? Just, yeah, real clever interviews. She's not even graduating with honors in that regard. By the way, I love that Dakota Johnson approached

that interview. She's like, I just gotta read it. It's here on the sheet that Dakota Johnson approached that interview. She's like, I just got to read it. It's here on the sheet of paper. It's like she was being like... She's like Ron Burgundy in Anchorman. If it's in front of me, I'm gonna say it. I love Kate. I was upset that we didn't get more of Kate.

I feel like Kate had some life force. And I think this is the problem with a movie like this. Kate and the brother were the most interesting, most compelling... Yes. Yeah, but Kate was a really bad friend. She... Anybody could have seen she's getting, you know, over her head, all of the...

And also, here's another thing that was different. In 2015, no one was blinking an eye to like, it's hot to have a guy buy you a car. You know, it's hot to like... Although you could say... You don't have to get a laptop. I thought it should have been a nicer car. I didn buy you a car. You know, it's hot to like, you don't have to get a laptop. I thought it should have been a nicer car. I didn't like that car. I didn't like that car.

It looked like he got her a minivan. I thought it was a Honda Civic. You know, I like a minivan because I have children. And I would have taken that car and really packed it full of camping gears, bikes, whatever. Yeah, I just, you know, I think the thing with Kate is, and honestly, with Anastasia too, is it's, listen, no kink shaming, I would never shame a kink at all, but they go down a lot easier when the person with a kink is so rich that it's like morally reprehensible.

That's how rich they are. And that's where I think we're able to overlook a few things. Wait, why? Why does it, well- Wait, I can't tell what you're saying. I don't understand. What I'm saying is I don't think that this scenario would have taken place if Christian Gray was in a studio.

Okay. So I see. I saw what you're saying is it would be hard. You'd have to do it. Divide her. It would be hard if there's not another door. And Rayfield for sugar daddy is what you are pitching out. It is.

No, it's the same. Like it's, you know, I wrote this in my thing that is like, in a post-Dobbs world, how insane is it to watch a woman sign away her rights to a rich white billionaire? Yeah, it's weird. I was like, this is chilling. Yeah, it was. It was like a tight capsule to a very bad time. I was like, ooh, I don't like this.

This is, he is not trustworthy. This is, I don't like that she's so easily giving away everything, the NDA signing immediately. I was like, gulp, ooh, boy. Yeah. I did also think that the way that the dad reacted to her dating him was odd. I thought it was odd for him to pose with her in a picture after complaining so much

that he didn't want a girlfriend. He's giving a lot of submissive messages. Also mixed, very mixed messages. Yeah, mixed messages. Because he's like, no dates, no nothing, no movies, no nothing. And then immediately he's like, what about one day a week a date? Can you imagine going bowling with Christian Gray?

This is not fun. Are you skating? Are you skating? That was his other option. Here's the thing, and I know very little about the community, but here's the thing. I'll still speak on it. Of course. What?

Can you just clarify what community? What community? I'm just saying, in terms of submissive endoms, and you said this before, Paul, like, I do think that he spent so long as a submissive that that is what he is playing out with her. That he is falling back into that because of helping. That's what I think, yeah. Boy, do I wish this had werewolves and vampires. Boy, do I wish some part of this was about werewolves

and vampires. Listen, there you go. Well, what do you have loved the last scene when she goes, stop, and he stares and she goes, you know, and she goes, Anastasia, Christian, then you cut back to him and do the Michael Jackson eyes from Thriller, like. Like. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- The movie takes place in the Pacific Northwest, and Home of Vampires. No, really?

Well, it does. Home of vampires, serial killers. Home of vampires? Well, the Pacific Northwest is where Twilight is set. Yeah. Okay. Because of how dark it is there. Yes.

And overcasts. Yes. Their skin is translucent. That's where they are. They can't handle the sun. That's why the Colons live there, Paul. Paul. Duh. sun. That's why the Collins live there, Paul. Paul. Duh, Paul.

That's why the Collins live there. You guys were reading Twilight Isle of Reading my Tess D'Arbreville's first editions, which looked like some weird thing that I might get like at a Creighton barrel. Serial killers also live in the Pacific Northwest. Everyone knows. Yeah. Big Northwest. Everyone knows that. Yeah?

Bigfoot and Bigfoot. And I was like, oh, I bet there is a lot of weird sexual stuff going on. Oh, yeah. Like, you know. Well, it's raining all the time. You have to be inside. They never see the sun.

They got to come up with things. They gotta do something. Obviously, we had opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. And it's now time for Second Opinions. Yeah! Hey, my name is Jeff. She tripped into his office, why I do not know. She sells him cable ties, masking tape and rope

Gives her an NDA, but lets her take it home. These are 50 shades second opinions Just give her a spank, Hank, find her with a tie, guy Swat her with a switch, Mitch, and give it five stars Clean her up in the tub, Doug. Tell me what's a butt plug. Take a bite on your lip, chip, and give it five stars. Thank you. That was amazing.

Give it up for Jeff. Amazing. Great job, Jeff. Great job, Jeff. Killing it. Wow. Wow. That's the way you do it. Take a lesson from Jeff. Great job, Jeff. Pilling it. Wow. Wow. That's the way you do it.

Take a lesson from Jeff. Great, great job. Okay, well, obviously you know that there are a lot of five-star reviews on Amazon about this movie. As a matter of fact, there are 72,000, 72,000 reviews of this movie. Oh, reviews, or five-star reviews. No, there are 72,000 total reviews

and 77% of them are five stars. Wait, are we on the wrong side of this? And I will just tell you what I have to say here. Nikki, titles or review, I have to say, I definitely like the movie more. As someone who has read the book and now has seen the movie, I have to say I definitely like the movie more.

I found it to be way more romantic than the book. They did a great job in making it to where the people would enjoy it. The music in the movie was incredible and the sex scenes were done quite tactfully. As long as you can understand that this isn't what true love is supposed to be about. I think it would be just fine for a mature 16 year old

to be able to watch with parental supervision. I don't know about that. I'm sorry, just a quick question. Can I go on Amazon and tell people what age people should be to watch certain movies? Well, this is maybe what's happening here. Nikki continues, I watched this film with my own mother. What?

Which was great because we got to talk about what was going on. Great movie, and I highly recommend it. I had to explain anal fisting to my mom. Now Jay chimes in and writes, this movie was very hot and steamy. I am very happy with the purchase of this movie. It was definitely worth the buy. It made me all tingly inside.

The actors were quality actors. Anna was a little annoying, but I would buy the movie again. I mean, I would recommend buying this movie for a little bit of romance in your life. The movie was definitely hardcore, and I think I would buy the movie again. I even bought the sequel to the book, and I'm super excited for 50 Shades Darker to come out in theaters. I have a whole year to wait, but I'm really excited for it to come out. I love the movie so much that I can't wait. I watched it again last night before I went to bed.

And then I woke up and watched it again, and I started thinking about it. Nope. You should totally buy this movie, and you should buy the book. It will make you feel hot. You will definitely need a napkin after watching this movie. Christian is an amazing actor, and he is so hot. I would buy this movie. Christian is an amazing actor.

I would buy this movie 904 million more times. Purchase this. This story is well-written. And whenever I was watching this movie, it put me in an amazing mood. I was always better after reading these novels and watching this movie I would say buy it and I would say watch it alone wait and then read the book alone too And then you'll be feeling like a million bucks in

That guy died in an ocean of his own gin Hold on we should come Hold on! R.I.P. Hold on! Hold on! We should come down. I am a mom! R.I.P.

And my kids drive me absolutely crazy. They yell all the time. And whenever I get them down for naps, I pull out my Kindle and I start reading this book. Or I bring out my iPad and I watch it. I forget about being a mom for a few minutes and I can actually fantasize about being the character. And then I snap back into reality when they wake up and I wait for them to sleep.

I start counting the minutes until they are sleeping so I can read my book and watch my movie. I even pull it out while the kids are watching TV or my husband is watching the game. I would recommend this movie to all my girlfriends. It is a hot read and definitely something I would watch again. I already have.

These kind of movies are my favorite. I love the dominance of the male character, and I'm very pleased with my purchase. Buy this movie for a bit of hot and heavy romance. You will not be dissatisfied. Happy watching, ladies and gentlemen. I am very happy with the purchases of the movie Five Stars. Whoa!

Oh, my God! What I feel like... I feel like that's the... Like, that is why these books took off. Listen, women have nothing else. We don't have other books. We don't have other movies. So we accept whatever you give us. We have How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days in This.

Yeah! Like, what do we have? Imagine if this is what you were given and being like, this is what you want? I'll take it. Take it. Maybe you feel like Jonathan Daniel Bullock, who says, movie got me laid. I can dig it. $5. And I bet that's going to be repeated tonight. Someone is here on a date. They're going to get laid because of this movie.

I can dig it. Also, Melly Goreira writes, I bought this from my aunt. It was well packaged and in great condition. Five stars. Great gift. Great gift to your aunt, your elderly aunt? Aunts love these books.

Aunts live for this. These stories are big aunt energy. And I will just go. Be Godmother energy. I will go to one of the first opinions. This is something that we got from Jason Crouch, because at one star. He says, this is the stupidest movie I've ever watched.

And I never watched it because why would I? My wife convinced me to watch it, and I regretted it severely. I wish I never wasted the money. It's just porn for women, and women think it's good because they enjoy it. But if you're a man, you will not enjoy it. Oh, oh great, now my wife's all turned on.

Sucks to be me, guys. One star got me laid. In my opinion, this movie shouldn't exist because it should be treated the same way porn is. One star. It's just porn for women, Jason Crouch. Full name. Wow.

Find him. I will say one thing that was really interesting about this thing was, you know, obviously there's a lot of parodies of 50 shades of gray, right? 50 shades of gray. And there was a porn parody of 50 shades of gray made and Universal sued them because of similarities. I guess you really can't...

They had better dialogue. I mean, what's so crazy about that is, like, genuinely, this is just Twilight fanfic. All right, so, just quick question, because none of us has seen the second one. I want it to end each night by just bold predictions, what happens in the next movie. We don't know.

Don't let us go over right or wrong. That's so fun. I do like your idea that it will flip. I think that's got to be right. Yeah. I have to feel like we're gonna, I would love it if like, does it become like a murder mystery? Wish. Anywhere please. Now here's what I would love. I would love to find out, actually, that his story about being 15 and this woman was a lie. I don't think that happens, but, like, that's sort of my fantasy. Well, and I thought it was interesting, too, that it's then revealed that he's been to dinner with that Mrs. Robinson woman.

Does that character show up? I would think so in the next movie. And who is that? Like, you know, I'm trying to figure out. Kim Petrol. Honey. I don't know. I think in one of them they get married,

because I think I remember a trailer. Oh, OK. I think. They get married? I believe it. I believe it. I really think they do. You're not thinking about the Sex with the City 2 trailer.

That might have been it. Well, also, I'm assuming, and forgive me if I'm just grossly wrong, but if it follows the general arc of Twilight, they will get married, they will get pregnant, and the baby will eat itself. The baby will eat its way out of her belly. Is that what happens? Yes, and then it will imprint on Jacob.

What, is this real? Yes, this is real. What are you talking about? It's so good. What do you mean, what am I talking about? It ate it out of her belly? It puts the lotion in the basket. No, I'm not saying that!

It really does do that though? Yeah. She's dead? No. How could you survive a baby eating its way out of you? I don't know. God. Don't you wish you were here on Friday to find out?

Oh, God. My bold prediction is this. I hope that the gray industry's creators. That's what I think. I think that gray industries is going downhill. We know that business was going poorly. I think that it craters. He spirals.

She goes out fucking a bunch of people. She gets a lot of sexual experience. And then like, That'd be nice. That'd be nice. And pulls him up out of his depression is what I think. But so he has no money anymore? I don't want it.

No, we don't want to ever see that. Jude, you're absolutely right. I would like to know. There has to be wealth with King. A degree that is like, again, not right. Yeah. No one person should have this amount. That's what I'm looking for.

I thought it was egregious that he sold her car. I thought that... How dare you... He's got a giant garage. Keep it. If you gift her a car, wonderful. Do not sell her vintage bug that she has... By the way, she has a Tori Amosidian there that she...

Now what is she gonna do with that? Yeah. That was... Over water bottles. Okay, so I didn't... This Cinderella story is rotten. I didn't... This Cinderella story is rotten. I didn't believe that he actually sold it. Oh, you think it's gonna be in the sequel?

It might be, that's my prediction. In his Jay Leno's garage full of cars. It's like a Jitterbust sequel. I would love it if Christian Gray was played by Jay Leno. That's my recasting. Who do was played by Jay Leno. That's my recasting. Who do I want? Jay Leno. Denim on Denim.

And here's my casting. Jay Leno now and Dakota Johnson now. No, just age it up, just age it up. Oh, God. What if in the, here's the thing, what if in the second movie, the actress who plays the Mrs. Robinson is Melanie Griffith? Oh, my God.

Ew. Ew. Oh, my God. Ew. Somebody lost their minds. Did anybody when they were watching this movie, they think I was in a Whole Foods watching it? And you were also in the green room watching it. Yeah, I was. I really packed it in.

But that's what he said. So did they in this movie. That's what she said. But my main response over and over again was out loud. Ew, ew. Was anyone else, did anyone else have that ew, ew? Like that, that was my main reaction to this film. I wasn't even, ew, I was just kind of like, all right.

I wanted to be, I wanted this movie to be horny. What's that? I watched the Unrated version. Wait a minute, what? Yeah. Where's that? Seven minutes extra stuff. Seven minutes of heaven?

There's seven minutes of extra heaven? It's not. It's all pubes, just pubes. Just pubes. More pubes. No, actually, just more office scenes. That's the best part! Uh, would you recommend this movie, Jason? Fuck yeah!

June. Absolutely. Jess. Ew. I would say yes. I think that there's more here on Rediscovery. I like it. I'm excited to go into next episode

where we talk about the sequel of this film, 50 Shades, Darker or Deeper. I don't know. It's the second one. We're gonna watch that. And now thank you everybody for coming out here tonight. What a show. That's our show. Thanks again to our honorary fourth host, Jessica St. Clair, and the amazing staff

at Largo. Do not worry, we will be releasing all of our episodes from our 50 Shades of Grace series throughout the next couple of months. So stay tuned for more coverage on the least sexy sex movies ever made. Now, if you want to feel like you are part of our 50 Shades of Grey live show, you can get the shirt that we designed for the audience. That's right. We designed a gray corporation shirt. That's right. Christian Grey has a nonsensical company that includes business, telecommunications, independent publishing, blow dry bars, and

charity. And you can buy that shirt at tpublic.com slash stores slash hdtgm. And if you've been dying to attend one of our live shows, well, you're in luck. We still have some tickets left for our tour in the UK and Ireland. I think that the most tickets are available in Belfast, but we just sold out in Glasgow and Dublin and we are moments away from selling out in London. So get those tickets and head to HDTGM.com to find out what movies we're doing and to purchase tickets. And just to let you know, check out the movie Scramble. June appears in this film. It's an independent film that's

really funny about a 35 year old woman who goes on a quest to freeze her eggs and it's not as easy as she thought it would be. The movie is hilarious. June is great. I love this movie. Check it out. Leah McKendrick wrote and directed it. It's fantastic.

And I know I've mentioned this a few times, but my book, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, is now available to pre-order and pre-ordering is so important. It's actually more important than buying it the week it comes out. So pre-order my book right now. And if you do that, save your receipt, head to my website, and you can sign up to get a personalized postcard from me plus access to a part of my website where I will have exclusive material that no one has ever seen. I'm talking about pictures and videos, and it's only for pre-ordering people only.

I appreciate all the support. I've already gotten from our amazing How to Disk It Made audience in pre-ordering this book, and I just want to let you know I really, really appreciate it. So you're going to buy something, I'm going to give you something, and my hand might fall off, but I can't wait to sign something for you. And as always, if you have a correction or a mission from this last episode, we want to know about them. Go to our Discord at Discord.gg slash HDTGM or leave me a voicemail at 619-PaulAsk. Then make sure you tune in next week for our last looks follow-up episode

to hear me respond to your messages. Plus, Jason will stop by for a chat. And as always, we will announce our next movie. Remember, you can find us everywhere online at HDTGM. And if you love the show, please tell your friends, that's the way the word spreads. And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, make sure you are following us. And last but not least, I got to say thank you to all of our listeners who support this show and our entire behind the scenes staff who keeps this show running. I am talking about our producer, Scott Sonny, Molly Reynolds, our movie picking producer, Averill Halley, our associate producer, Jesses Narros, and our engineers, Casey Hulford and Rich Garcia. That's all I got.

Bye for now. See you next week. See you next week. See you next week. See you next week. See you next week. See you next week. See you next week.

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