How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Deep Blue Sea LIVE!

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

Writer/director Evan Goldberg (Superbad) and HDTGM all-star Paul F. Tompkins (BoJack Horseman) join Paul & Jason to talk about the insanity in the 1999 shark flick Deep Blue Sea. Live from Largo in L.A. they get into Samuel L. Jackson's infamous death scene, LL Cool J’s relationship with his bird, Stellan Skarsgård's new name, and how Saffron Burrows is the film's true villain. Plus, we hear LL Cool J’s hip-hop prayer and the best song ever recorded for a movie.(Originally released 03/20/2015) For more Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/c/PaulScheer Go to www.hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, and more.Follow Paul on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: https://discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (https://www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: listen.earwolf.com/deepdiveSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

Finally, a movie that shows the dangers of Alzheimer's research. We saw Deep Blue Sea, so you know what that means. Now it's time to get it! Re-made! How did Schwarzenegger grow, baby, in his belly? Like a rhinestone vest, wild whipping just in the kelly? Or maybe see a burlesque show with Nick Crowe? And take a boat with speed to hit and cruise control?

J-Man, Big Paul, and the beautiful June. Gonna take you from the groove, all the way to the room. Branded games and Street Fighter, hope to blow off steam. Just a sucker, punch the odd, life of Timothy Green. Sharkniddle, the Burdemic, how we staying alive? They call it in the badass, and he's on the line. Cranking 88 minutes, cause they cool his eyes. Cause the bad Jim Barney looking kind and nice.

Paul and June getting literal, Jason is getting laid. June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid. They judge a bunch of movies while they making the grade. Here's a real question for you, how did this get made? Alright everybody! Welcome to How Did This Get Made? Hello people of Earth and hello people of Largo! We have a very special and exciting show for you tonight.

We saw the film Deep Blue Sea, and we are here in front of a live audience in Los Angeles. And, let's me introduce my co-host right now. Please welcome Jason Manzuchus! What's up jerks! Very sadly, June Diane Rayfield cannot be here tonight. But, we have, in her place, a How Did This Get Made All Star. Please welcome Paul F. Topkins! And, our very special guest for the evening, please welcome Evan Goldberg!

Welcome. All of our dreams have come true! Welcome, welcome, welcome. Deep Blue Sea now. Evan, you said that you have seen this movie how many times? Now, 21. And, I know this is all to make fun of shit, but it's the best movie ever. And I just want to be clear, we didn't choose this movie because you love it. We chose this terrible, terrible movie, asked you to do the podcast.

You were like, wait, what? I love that movie. I will defend it to the death here on this stage. I mean, there are things to like about this movie. I mean, I enjoyed this movie on a level. Do you mean like it's finite running time? Is there really enjoyment that you have watching people that you don't like act then die? Look, if you want to really watch an unlikable cast of characters meet dismal ends, this movie's for you. I honestly think this is like final destination.

They came up with six cool deaths, and then we're like, now we'll make a movie. I was just going to say that I'm a sucker for a good cook's tail. It's the original Ratatouille. Ratatouille, Under Siege, and Deep Blue Sea. Three of my favorite films. Under Siege is another one we might clash on. That movie is good. Big Night with Sharks.

All right, so this movie opens up with something I never knew that Sharks are attracted to Blood or Serah. I love the movie, but I'm going to agree with you on that one. They love Blood so much that if something looks like Blood, they're like, who is that Blood? May I say the first three lines of the movie? Please go ahead. Do you feel anything? Says the girl to the guy, it's getting sexual. It's like a make-out party on a boat if you haven't watched the movie yet.

And he says... It's like two couples fingering each other. He says, oh, I feel something. Then turns to his buddy and his buddy says, we're having a party. We're just having a party in this obvious tank. It made me so mad how obvious it was that it was a tank. Well, you are one of Hollywood's most famous experts in tank technology. That's right.

Well, here's the thing. I have good tank-dar. I can always spot a tank. In any water-based movie, I can spot a tank a mile away. And when you do, you are always in a movie theater like... Absolutely. And that's all because they were originally going to do Truman Show in real life with you, but you spotted the tank right away.

That's right. It's like, well, this is a tank. Well, the other thing about it was I did think it was just a couple making out on a boat. The reveal that it's a party was weird because they're kind of making out next to a boombox with a stuffed teddy bear on top. They have to one up jaws in every way across the board. So, a couple? No.

Swingers. Yeah. So, I was like, unlike Jaws, you see the shark in the first two minutes. Yeah. Full blown. It's like, there's no fucking around. It's like, here it is. Check it out.

It's a shark. In case you're worried this movie isn't about sharks, it's about fucking sharks. Don't worry. We will not create suspense. You're going to see motherfucking sharks. Yeah. The credits aren't done ding-dong who's their sharks. The title, Deep Blue Sea, it's not a metaphor for anything.

It's like, takes place in the ocean. This is a very direct film. Randy Harlan is not a subtle filmmaker. Every time I see a Randy Harlan movie, there's always a point which is, well, more often than I'd like, Jace. Please come see our two-man show. At a certain point, I will always ask myself, how much does English being your second language have to do with...

Ask Paul Verhoeven. I think if you look at the movie through a lens of this is the polar opposite of an American, it all makes a lot more sense. The other thing that I thought was weird right off the bat was, you know, there's a shark attack and they get saved by Thomas Jane. But then they cut immediately to Los Angeles. They're in Los Angeles and Samuel Jackson's there with Ronnie Cox. Like, Ronnie Cox is like, I would say a famous actor.

Like, he's Beverly Hills' cop, robo-cop, movies without the word cop in them. Ronnie Cox is an actor you would hire for more, for like a five and above part. He has zero lines. He sits in a chair like a wax statue. Sometimes that's what the director needs, man. What I found confusing about that was that to me, the silent guy in the seat would seem to me to be the guy with all the power. But Sam Jackson standing behind him appears to be the puppet master.

So I couldn't figure out what their dynamic was. Do you think Ronnie Cox was a literal puppet? Okay, now we're getting into something pretty interesting, June. What speech could Ronnie Cox have had that clearly got cut out of this movie? That it was attractive enough to him that he took the part. Yeah, exactly. He was like, well, as long as this scene's in it, I'm in. This is my net baby in network.

And then they're like, well, this scene would be impossible to take out. It's the whole movie's about. And then Randy Harlan is like, this movie's about nothing. Let's take it all out. I have a slight theory on it, which is originally they offered the cook role to Samuel L. Jackson. He said, no. And then they gave him the boss role. I have a feeling that they just already had hired Ronnie Cox, too.

And they were like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you'll be in the scene. You're still there. You're co bosses. And you just like command the room with your silent stony presence. Ronnie Cox shows up to the premiere of Deep Blue Sea. Oh, I'm really excited there. I have a great scene with Safran.

Oh, oh, I gave a speech about corporate greed and science gone rapidly wild. But this movie, for as much exposition is in this movie, and I would say the first 40 minutes, is so much that I felt like I was in an SAT reading comprehension thing. Oh, yeah. What did I miss? The blonde hair doctor doesn't say one thing that isn't expositional until a minute like 50. She has an entire walk-in talk that is complete voiceover. It's all on her back.

It's never, she is, and it is just, it might as well be a cut scene from a video game. She's like, here we are at level three. Level three is all workplace cabins and where you're going to be spending most of your time. Up on level two is where you're going to find guns and weapons and stuff. Level three has power-ups and an extra life if you can find it. When the sharks inevitably cut off level four, you're going to want to go to level five. Now let's get out there. You're going to need a sniper rifle.

You don't think it increased your enjoyment of the film when they got to level three? You're like, oh yeah, level three, good. Yeah. I knew where we were going, bro. This is good news for them. Did you also notice that she casually said it used to be a submarine torpedo loading station for World War II? Yes. That's like a throwaway moment.

That was in the hell. It is just rapid fire. It's like every detail that you need to write a book report on whatever it's called, Antarctica or whatever. Can we? Isn't it? Aquatica, you mean? Can we? It's fucking logical.

What else are you going to call it? Can we go back to just that riveting boardroom scene for a moment where Saffron Barrows is trying to tell them how great it's going to be for Alzheimer's research. And she talks about her father having Alzheimer's. Oh, it's the best. And she's like, she's trying to shame these dudes. Because they have shut down her attempt. They're like, we're not going to, the shark escaped, we're cutting this project off.

Yeah. There's clearly no value to it if a shark escapes. Exactly. But it's like, there's millions of sharks in the ocean. And by the way, where are those people having that party on that very small boat? They must have been way too fucked up. You live the shelter life if you've never gone out into the middle of the ocean to talk to your friends. Hey, how was your double date last night?

It was awesome. We got a couple of bottles of red wine. We spent seven hours in open water. Brought our lucky teddy bear in our boom box. We laid anchor. We made out shark attack. The most romantic spot on earth, the old World War II torpedo loading station. Tom Jane showed up.

He shot the sharks with trinkets. And seemingly, I rewound it a couple of times because somebody put this out to me. Like, where is that harpoon hooked to? It looks like his boat is not enough to hold back. No, he's holding it with his muscles. It's a 4,000-pound shark, though, right? He's Thomas fucking Jane, you know. Tom Jane, bro.

I think, originally, he lassoed it. Yeah. He's like, we should probably go with him. Thomas Jane, aka Carter Blake. Carter Blake. He is a punisher. He is. He's one of the many.

He doesn't leave fraternity. So she says, so Safran Barrow says to these guys, she talks about her dad and his Alzheimer's. Yes. And she says, every time, he would just like ask where his wife was. And she says, every time I told him she was dead, I had to watch him take that info like a car wreck. Hey, hey, hey. Stop telling him that.

That's what I thought. Why? Why is she groundhog-daying him? Why? No reason to groundhog. Don't keep telling him. Well, this brings up an important point. Just say, just say he says she's out of the store.

She's in the store. She's in the store. Safran Barrow's, who this movie is ostensibly about, is the villain of the movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right? She's the worst.

She's like a relentless source. She's a terminator in this movie. She's a sociopath. She's like so self-absorbed and crazed. She completely causes the death of every character in this movie. Absolutely. She's got to protect her floppy disks, man. When she does strip down in that scene, it just is odd.

So she's in water. She pulls like a line out of the wall. Which is like made of fucking steel. Yes. And she just yanks it out of the wall like it's nothing. Well, it's just about a race of super strong people having to deal with sharks. She has the strength of a thousand sharks. She has crazy sociopath strength as well.

They have a lot of adrenaline. Oh, yeah. Yeah. She takes off her dress and then stands on it. No, no. She's standing on her wetsuit because it's insulated. Oh, okay. I'm never going to fight creatures in the water with you.

All right, sorry. You're right. I didn't realize why I was inflated. Why did you think she did it, June? My theory was... You were just like Harlan, you pervert. That's the thing. My theory was, oh, you just want to get this girl in her bra and panties.

Wait, but can anybody tell me what that work? If you stood on an insulated wetsuit and put electrical... Don't think so. We got to get mythbusters. Do they still do mythbusters? Jamie. We need you guys. From mythbusters, we need you appear to appear.

We need like a week long how to just get made mythbusters. There's so many questions. Can you jump over a fence like Vanilla Ice did and cool as ice? We need to know... I'm assuming for Fast 7, we're going to need to know can a car come out of a plane, go through a building, go into another building, go out of that building.

Can you blow up birthday candles with your mind? Yeah. They also go to a way to kind of describe Stella and Skarsgard. They're like, oh, there's Dr. Jim Whitlock. He's pissing in the wind. Dr. Jim Whitlock. But he's pissing in the wind. Played by Stella and Skarsgard.

Dr. Jim Whitlock. Totally American. I'm from Maine. He's always a doctor, too. Here's the exact line. He is Dr. Jim Whitlock, the smartest man alive. He's pissing into the wind. How smart can he be?

And then they don't... So you would think like, all right, well, if he pisses into the wind, then he's sort of an eccentric. They don't really ever show that side of him. He just seems to smoke a cigarette oddly. I also noticed there's like... In the movie where he mentions how they did this, not God, then lights a cigarette

and gets his armpit off by a shark. Yeah. And this time, having seen it 21 times, I kept an eye, I think it's a weird religious thing, the movie. I think there's like a weird thing where it's like, don't... Like, I think it's like an anti-stem cell research film deep down. What I mean at the end of the day, it's like, Alzheimer's research, don't go that way.

Yeah, let it go. She's like, yo, God wants fucked up shit to happen to those people. Sorry. Yeah, at the end... They're just out of luck. That's nature, dude. The best example of it is at the end, L.O. Cool J. opens up one high, it's like, you know it's the devil, right? You know science is the devil.

Yeah, like literally winking at the audience. You know it's the devil, right? And has a cross on himself that is so big. But it leads to the best part of the entire movie. What is it? When at a moment where you think he's gonna die and a shark has grabbed him and it's near the end and he's getting spun around and he's gonna die

and his name in this movie is Preacher, by the way. He grabs his cross and starts stabbing the shark in the fucking face until he stabs it in the eye and gets away. Now, to this end... Do you think this shark might have been possessed by a devil? That was an exorcism scene. Was it an exorcism? Shark exorcism with L.O. Cool J. I'm in.

The power of Christ compels you. That would have been amazing if a demon came out of the shark and then the shark was like, I'm pretty cool now. I would not have been surprised. You're not a regular man eating shark. To me, the most... clearly the most interesting character, or I would say not interesting,

but the character that has your backstory is L.O. Cool J. He's maybe a former alcoholic, maybe a former preacher, now a cook, has this bird. What is going on? His L.O. Cool J's relationship with that bird made me profoundly sad. Yeah. First of all, it was not clear for a while,

like, is this his bird or just a bird he has saddled with in life? Who insults him? Did anybody think maybe the bird was a figment of his imagination? I mean, like... Is his own insecurities made manifest in bird form? We never see anyone else see and or talk to the bird. And the bird is constantly insulting him.

Fuck you, you asshole. I'm gonna just say this, the bird doesn't fucking exist. That's it. The bird is just, like, some way in which he's cracked in his head and the bird is just insulting him all day. And then other people are like, who are you talking to, bitch? And he's like, oh, it's my bird. You don't see that insulting parrot flying around here?

In a kitchen? Here's a movie fact. They had to hire one parrot that could insult and another one that could just chill. They needed two different parrots for it. But any question you have about why did this happen, blank, LL Cool J in the film, I read online today that they just thought he was such a cool dude

that they just were like, we gotta give him more because he's just such a team player. Absolutely. To the point where he became the star of the fucking movie. Yeah. And to that end, that originally the hero of the end of the film was supposed to be Saf Humberos.

Which is the craziest fucking idea in the world. You know, she ruined Alzheimer's research and killed all her friends. Yeah, she won. The bad guys win. It's like the shark winning at the end. The science of this, I'm sorry, the science of this is very confusing

because the idea is sharks' brain activity never deteriorates. Which has just been proven untrue this year. Oh, really? They can get cancer. They just found out this year. Yes. A deep blue sea, exclusive, you guys.

Cancel the sequel. It won't make sense. So, in order to somehow benefit humankind, they stimulate the brains of the creatures that are already not having the problem. Right. So rather than extracting, just extracting something from the sharks and studying it,

they're like, let's just make these sharks smarter and see if they'll tell us how they do it. Like, what was the plan? Here is just so you can hear the science. Because there's not much, like this point gets dropped way late in the movie. Because you just understand that sharks are, they're doing Alzheimer's research with sharks,

but they don't explain it until this part of the movie. And take a listen to it. They are just breaking down doors for the sheer joy of the dark. They're after us. Pretty damn obvious. I don't know what they're doing yet. Just what the hell did you do to those sharks?

Their brains weren't large enough to harvest sufficient amounts of the protein complex. So we violated the Harvard compact. Jim and I use gene therapies to increase their brain mass. Large brain means more protein. As a side effect, the sharks got smarter. Smart sharks. Look, if your brain gets bigger, you just get smarter.

This is my issue with the whole movie. If these sharks are smarter, then first of all, my thought was, would they even want to kill so violently? What do they care? What are they mad about? Oh, no, you guys didn't pay attention. They're trying to break structural integrity of the compounds so that the fence lowers four feet from the eight-feet attack

so that they can jump over the fence. Right, believe me, I get that. So fucking concentrate on that and leave everybody alone. They need to trick the humans to go to compartment to compartment. They heard it. So they flooded it in compartments. They learned that it needed, like, hurting two tons of water or whatever. Like, how did they even learn that fact?

Like, just bite through the fucking fence! Wow. That's what the white guy would do here. He's made of a flexible titanium material, my friend. Poor Michael Rappaport in this movie. Michael Rappaport is responsible for, like, there'll be a scene that's like that, which is just nonsense, like, jargony.

This is what we did, the brain and this and that. And then in an effort to be like, I feel like people are like, oh, I don't know if the audience is gonna be with us. They have to have Michael Rappaport be like, so she screwed with the sharks, and now the sharks are screwing with us. I have no idea. So, dummy, if none of what she said makes sense,

because she talks funny, I know. But I want to use. And it means the sharks is coming after us because of this dumb broad. You might as well mug to the camera and be like, oh, yeah, yeah. I bet I'm just gonna get eaten. I'm Michael Rappaport.

I was saying that when watching this, like, we were on, like, in a Wes Anderson movie without the charm, like, it's a little ship and people are running for it. It's life-aquatic. But then everyone's a little, like, but I don't understand what he does at all, Michael Rappaport. He knows statistical facts about shit.

He's like the numbers guy, because the woman doctor tells them facts about, like, oh, well, the compound, and then there's the doctor doctor who tells you the science, and then he's like, those fences are only eight feet. That's how I know all the shit I know. Because I pay attention to the character. But he also went to Caltech.

For four years at Caltech. He knows about fences. Gave him the best physics lesson. Gave him the Einstein quote. Theory of relativity by L... Oh, my God. I want that as a fucking poster in, like, college dorm rooms.

Yup. That should be a famous phrase. And Einstein should lose the credit. Yes. Exactly. Oh, you mean the frying pan hot woman equation? I loved that when they successfully take, extract the brain juice

from the shark, the way they're going to test it is so stupid. All they do is, like, do an eye dropper, and they just drop it on some brain tissue. Yeah. And it's like... And Sam Jackson says,

what are we looking for? And she goes, lightning in a bottle. And then it literally looks like lightning. There's no metaphor. It's going to look like lightning on the screen. Lightning in a bottle has nothing to do with something that you are searching for. You can't just throw in any old expression.

My 20 years of research, the answer, lightning in a bottle. We got lucky. We caught lightning in a bottle. Again, I'm no scientist. June, are you sure you're not a scientist? I have a very small science background. A dead, dead brain tissue. Yeah.

DBT. I wouldn't imagine it would get affected like that. It's because, like, right? No, you wouldn't, Paul. You wouldn't. Well, major scientist, Renny Harlan, says differently. We could do a remake where it also brings

humans back to life and we throw zombies in. Oh, I would love that. Deep Bootsy 2. Zombie sharks? Someone's probably done that already. There's, like, 90 sequels to this movie, right? No. Surprisingly, zero. There's no straight-to-video sequels? No. Well, there is Deep Blue CU next Tuesday, which is

a pornographic version of this movie. It's a lot of shark fuckers. I also... The sharks are smart, and they know they keep on saying the sharks are smart, but the first person they go after is the cook, which seems like that's...

Well, I mean, they go after... Dr. Jim Whitlock. Because he smoked a cigarette, I swear to you. He smoked a cigarette and died right away. That's science. Oh, we got to talk about the giant-ass Star Trek viewscreen in the bottom of the sub.

This submarine station has more windows than anywhere. That's not a thing. His death scene. What is it? By the way, you'll be happy to know that Spellcheck will correct Stellar Skarsgard to be Stellar Skateboard.

Okay. So, Stellar Skateboard's death scene is absolutely fantastic. Because his arm gets bitten off, he gets to be met and backed away. Look, whether the chopper... His arm has been bitten off, right?

And then so many other fucking chopper goes, he's hemorrhaging. Of course, they're in the chopper. His arm has been bitten off. His arm is also gone. His arm has been bit de-armed. And then the minute they showed that winch, I was like, uh-oh, we're going to have winch trouble.

Yeah, that winch looks awful. Anyway, the chopper, by the way, got there in, like, four minutes. Oh, yeah. No other help comes throughout the entire movie. He falls, he gets close to the thing, and then they're like, uh-oh, the winch breaks, and he's like...

and goes underwater, right? So, uh-oh, he's going to die. But no, they've given him portable breathing to a gurney. So breathing, the shark grabs him and just starts swimming him around underwater. And then smashes him into the window in front of all the people who love him.

Yeah. And he's still breathing there, because he's like... Yeah. And then Thomas James, like, it's too late for him. It's like, no, he's alive, and he's got a fucking breathing mask on. Also, where are the rest of those breathing masks? I mean, this

that fucking thing is underwater, and there isn't a goddamn asthma inhaler they can use. They don't. They would be all over the place. They would be all over the place. They would be all rotten with fire extinguishers. You'd be mad.

They don't have a scuba tank. They don't have jack shit for breathing. They don't even have a fucking crazy straw. They only use fire extinguishers to help propel them up. That was a good fucking idea. It worked, but if the fucking sharks are so smart, four humans are going up,

and they go after the fire extinguisher. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was that? They're smart, but they're still just sharks. A human made of clouds. They turn on the fucking oven. Yeah. To be fair, I think that was an accident. All right.

But... That scene is amazing. Accident by applause. Accident? Accident by intentional. Whoo! Really? Can I... Now, they think the shark meant...

You think the shark conceptually understood... He wants to talk about... He's been eating with... Wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait, shut, shut, shut, shut up. It was... It was smart. Okay, guys.

Well, wouldn't you want to eat a shark... The char-boiled person isn't these raw people all the time? Well, it's just going to gas him. If you want to really enjoy it... The shark doesn't know what a stove is, even if it's smart and they can't process... He doesn't know... This is a stove.

But usually the shark can't... The shark understands that it takes 32 tons of water to think the thing if they can understand mathematics. That's easy. That's like that fence. I need that to be lower. It's like coming upon, like, a box and being like, I bet this will heat up

if I push a button. I'm going to go with Jason on this because it's not like there's a window into the kitchen they've been watching to, like, learn... There is a window in the kitchen because he cooks that and goes, oh, feeding time. That's true. That's true. They've been watching him make that cake.

But also, what kind of fucking stove can withstand a 4,000-pound shark headbutting it? Here's the thing. The shark's abilities to smash things are varied. And I don't know... I don't know if we were supposed to be able to tell

the difference between these goddamn sharks. Or we're supposed to know, ah, he's smart. He's stronger than the other one because it takes... It takes four tries to go through that boat hull in the beginning. It takes five tries to go through

the coven. That's because you're talking about the Gen IIs. Right. The Gen III is the mother of the sharks, and it's significantly bigger than the Gen I. That's the one that's defeated by a table, right? Towards the end? When Saffron Burrow's high find a table,

the shark's like, ah. Yeah, goddamn pine wood. Sometimes the sharks are, like, just utterly helpless. And then other times, like, you might... they might as well be able to, like, breathe out of water and walk on their hind fins and be like, I'm gonna get ya. On that note,

I have a question for you guys. Did you think this would happen, the first time I saw it, that at one point at the end, a shark was gonna say, like, fuck you? Didn't you think they were gonna talk at some point, just, like, one line, like, boom. Now that you say it,

it would have been the best ending of the movie. Like, if it went right before the harpoon went in, he was like, oh, fuck. Ah! Yeah, just a big scream with its mouth open. Woo! Um... Oh, talking shark would have...

how would it have actually made this movie the best movie I've ever made? If the last shot had been, like, a fourth shark being, like, Bluuuuuuuuhhhh! I'm gonna fucking get you. Like, a real, just like, bad-ass shark. Speaking about the last things in it,

it has the last best line to a film ever. Oh, yeah. Did anyone else catch that line? I wrote it down, too. I can do it with you if you want. It's your show. You do it. I insist. You set him up for it. And I'll say, oh, this is fun. So now these actors are preparing for their roles.

All right, I'm talking to a character. Are you right about that? That's the line you want to say. He's just that last word. Oh, wait, oh, no, yeah. Sorry, that's LL Cool J. You're LL, yes. The first one's LL, you're LL.

Yeah, got it. OK, ready, guys? Take me back to the ghetto. Amen. Man. Q, LL Cool J song, and out. Deepest. Bluest.

We're going to talk about that, too. Oh, my god, wait. No matter what, when you leave here, watch the video. We're going to watch it. We're going to watch it, but we don't even have to leave. Yeah, we're going to watch it. I also want to talk about Samuel Jackson's speech about the avalanche.

Wouldn't that be a good movie? Do you have that clip? Oh, do you have that? I don't have the avalanche. I have the famous scene with him, yes. OK, but his speech, like, they keep alluding to, like, are you the guy that saved all those people in the Alps? And he's like, yeah.

Yep. And then when they're all turning against each other, he gives the best fucking speech that could only occur in a movie whose greatest threat is some sharks, which is that he's seen an even greater threat, which was ice. He says, you think water moves fast? Try ice.

Try ice. It moves like it has a mind of its own. No, it doesn't. It barely moves ever. Guy, it's ice. It's wildly slow. It is shocking. It's kind of notorious for just kind of being in one place.

Yep. That made me laugh. Frozen. Frozen, if you will. Yes, frozen. It's like, it's frozen. Yes, yeah. Almost, almost to a standstill.

Ice. Moving at, let's say, a glacial pace. It's almost like it's cut a mind of its own. I want Sam Jackson to make that fucking movie. By the way, we should write that. All of us. I'll start a Google Doc tonight. So everybody, just shut out your email address.

Paul will add it. I also just love the idea that this, the reason why there's only like six people there is because it's the weekend, that everyone goes home on the weekend. As a filmmaker, you know that was a budgetary issue. Oh, 100%. To like party music.

Everybody like gets on a boat. And what's their name? Janice Soprano. Janice Soprano. Jonathan Turro puts on music. And everybody's like, we're dancing out of here. We're leaving the crazy boat. One of the people in that scene is Renny Harlan.

And if you go back, I tried to pull the script, but I couldn't get it. I would say this is all he does. He walks, just walks by. Right? That's as simple, just does like a five feet walk. That's his Hitchcockian cameo. He did do it 20 times.

He read on the DVD commentaries that I had to do it over 20 times because I couldn't get it right. And he said that people told him that he should definitely stay behind the camera. He is just crossing frame. He doesn't have a line. He crosses it and walking into the lens. What was he doing?

You've done that? I've tried to put myself in some of our movies with a little walk off, and everyone's just like, you fucked it up, dude. What is it, the pressure gets to you? No, it's cinematographer's fault. Definitely not my fucking fault. But it was like, Rennie Harlan walking into the frame

and looking at the camera and saying, I'm Rennie Harlan. Codd, did I get it? I don't believe me. I don't believe anything I'm doing. He keeps saying, Codd, right before he's out of frame. And Codd, I did it. What, no? OK.

I got a random, mind-blowing fact. So as I was watching the movie for the 21st time, there's a scene where the glass breaks when Stellan Skarsgård's body is thrown at it and the water pours in. And as I was watching it, knowing what I do about filmmaking, I was like, that's just Thomas Jane in that incredibly unsafe stunt.

And I looked it up, and it's all of them, and it was a mistake. And they literally fucked up and almost killed every single actor in the movie. And that was real, and they accidentally did it before the stunt guys. Yeah, and they almost killed everyone. What the fuck are you telling me?

That shot where the water pours in, it's all the real actors, it's a mistake, and they actually are running for their lives. They accidentally dropped three tons of water. Can you imagine being the family member of someone that was killed in that dumb goddamn movie? Like, if you're Thomas Jane's grandma, you're like, oh, my son, my grandson was an actor.

He was in Boogie Nights. And they wouldn't be able to fast and furious seven it. It just wouldn't come out and be over. He was a punisher. Oh, wow. No, it's not. I mean, no disrespect. I'm sorry.

I'm a massive fan. Too soon, guys? Too soon? Get it together. He'd be happy his movie got finished, and I'm going to be happy when it comes out. Absolutely. So there.

The one thing I will say, this movie seemed like plagued by mistakes like that. The other thing was the set got infested by crickets. What? The entire movie was pretty much all ADR because they couldn't knock out the cricket note. That explains so fucking much. Wait, what?

Yeah, the set was shocking. The set was infested by crickets. They couldn't figure out how to kill the crickets. So that happened. Can you imagine just doing that day after day while there's constant cricket noise knowing in your mind, I'm going to have to do all of this again because there's no way this cricket.

I feel like everybody must have lost their mind. We had one cricket on the set of the short that became This Is The End for one day, and we all like fucking lost our shit. It was a fucking nightmare. Like there'd be a great moment to be like, and then I said to him, crick, crick, and it was like the cricket was like waiting to fuck with us.

Did you try and just hire the cricket? Sometimes people are noisy and make a lot of noise and be assholes because they just want to be paid off. In hindsight, we should have just been like, there's crickets in the house. Yeah, there's crickets in the movie. Just one ADR line of those damn crickets would have fixed everything.

Why didn't you get 10 seconds of cricket tone and just have that under the whole movie? Silence for cricket, and that's a wrap on cricket. Just another fact of the fucked up production. They created these robot sharks out of machine parts from a 747. These giant sharks. Which they didn't have to do.

No, not at all. And one of them went crazy and shot through the roof of the set. And it said it like smashed the rafters, like broke through the foundational like supports. Wait a minute, did they put a 747 engine in the shark? Well, I didn't shoot through the roof of the set. No, I read this.

I read this that after, hang on, after this movie was done, like three out of the sharks are now being used on Southwest. As planes. As planes, you have to board a shark. Just. And you can fly inside the shark's body.

Just some facts about the remote controlled sharks had 1,000 HP engines weighed 8,000 pounds that could swim up to 30 miles per hour. Why? Why? Because realism was key. I read why he did it. And he said that in order to beat Jaws,

he needed to feel the slow motion. By the way, mission not accomplished. He said he wanted it to be subtle and smooth and then powerful. He didn't even beat Jaws 4. He did do an homage to Jaws where the first shark dies in the way that they dies in Jaws 1 and then the second shark dies the same way in Jaws 2.

There were like 40 Jaws homages in this movie. They play pretty much the Jaws theme at the time. On set, they would all be like, fully Jaws is great. The license plate is the same license plate, which also makes me go like, let's go back into what happened to that driver. That driver's always dropping his car in the fucking water.

This movie had a lot of action set pieces, tension-filled moments, and then just bold-faced comedy beats. My favorite of them is LL Cool J is waist-deep in water, and he's like, ha, ha, and there's a shark, and blah, blah, and he's like, he can't swim, kind of. And then there's a playboy floating by. Wait a minute, what's this?

And he like, he looks at it, he opens up to his center fold, and he's like, ooh, god damn, I hope I get out of this. Well, I gotta fuck the broad in this magazine. I think that brings us back to the weird Christian thing going on, the religious thing, in that he's having a conversation with God throughout it, where he rejects porno, rejects liquor, and then saves the day in the end and thanks the Lord.

It's like super bizarre. And then sings a song. And then sings one of the best songs ever written. Well, with the obvious lyrics, my hat is like a shark's fin. It's my favorite rap told from the point of view of a shark. Well, by the way, LL Cool J had to kind of compete with Will Smith, because Will Smith is known for doing like the jaws of post-credits sequence theme songs

or whatever, Wild Wild West, Men in Black. I think he brought the heat, I think that... I think he won that. 100%, hands down. There's a fucked up moment I would like to bring up. Please. When the blonde hair doctor gets bit on her crock. Yes!

Can we talk about how unfathomably fucked up that is? It was a shark. I thought about it, like the teeth, like it's her crock. No, she is getting eaten out by this shark. He's a shark. I'm so glad you all reacted to this. He's a shark and he likes going down on ladies. Let me explain.

I don't know what that is, but I've heard the term. Did I use it right? No. The shark is 100% going down on Jan. And it's got her up and out of the water like it's a sea world show. It's a sea world show. Dr. Jan is digging. And it's just like...

And they have like a real money shot where it goes slow motion so you can really... They should have pushed in yesterday. We really got home. And she should have enjoyed it more. Another confusing thing about this movie is sometimes the sharks really take their sweet ass time like when they're eating out some girl.

Or sometimes it's like... Wait, that person is back again? Well, sometimes they're just hungry and they want to snarf something down. That's when they're like, ooh, I just want to snack on my correct report. We've all been there. It's like, look, I keep a bag of almonds

in the glove compartment just in case I get stuck in traffic. I'm just going to snack on this rap report. Let me unwrap this rap report. Here's a... When it came to the casting of the film, do you guys feel like they wrote names on ping pong balls, put them in a bingo spinner, and we're just like, whoa,

fucking Stone Skars Skars going to be in this movie? Fucking crazy. Like, I swear that's how they did this. Like a movie lottery every actor in Hollywood. You have to say yes to whatever it is. That's an awesome movie. They call the agent, he has to call Sam Jackson. He's like, you got picked, man.

It's like the Hunger Games for movies, yeah. You've got to be in this Rennie Harlan movie. It's like, I don't think it's good for your career either, but it's happened. The script, I'll be honest, the script is bad and they've just hired Rennie Harlan. So, look, the script is not that bad. Even though there are eight credited writers

on the first draft, it's not... We really feel like we got something. And we've secured six boxes of crickets. One of the... We talked about how they changed the ending that LL Cool J saves the day. And what's so funny about that at the end, too, is that his friend is the bird, right?

So, like... His only friend in the world. Exactly. He's like a pariah. He's the chef. He's like... It's unfortunate to make the... Oh, I guess Sam Jackson is another black character who's powerful, but the only black guy in the crew

is like Isaac the chef on the love boat. Oh, that bartender. That's to be a counterpoint to how he becomes the star and saves the day. I guess so. But that's all in accident. It is the most progressive film for black actors ever made. Well, but you know what?

You owe me on that. But purely by accident. As Rennie Harlan said after they saw the screening, he goes, yeah, after they saw that Saffron Burrow save the day, he goes, well, in their mind, she was the bad guy. And I remember all of us sitting down and going, holy shit, we're in trouble.

How do we fix this? It was my idea. I said, well, what if she dies? And LL Cool J is the hero. Everyone likes him. And yo, he was right. It's a pretty straightforward filmmaking. When he saves the day,

so when LL Cool J kills his shark, he's like, that's my bird. And then at the end, when he saves the day, he's already set the bird line. So he goes, that's with Skoggins. But he has no relationship with Skoggins. But I also forgot who Skoggins was. Wait, who's Skoggins?

Is that Stella and Skar's guard? No, Michael Rappaport. Michael Rappaport. But like, you know what? That's a real fuck you to jam. Yeah. You know, like, why not that's for everybody? It's a fuck you to jam?

It's a fuck you to stellar skateboard? Yup. Guys, get it out there. I expect to leave the second show tonight and for Stella and Skar's guard's Wikipedia page to read stellar skateboard. Okay? And everyone must check it every day.

So when he changes it back, you got to change it back again. Just for like a week. Yes, be responsible. Don't be ticks about it. And make it like sometimes credited as stellar skateboard. Also known as stellar skateboard. That's it. Don't change his name.

Just list it as an alien. Or don't. We shouldn't be saying people do this. No. Why not? It's fun. Don't do it. It's fun.

Another little fact from the movie that I just bring up was that there's a lot of feet shot. It's feet, like feet running around doing stuff. Quentin Tarantino had a credit on this. Gross. Randy Harlan goes, Yeah, some people say I have a foot fetish. Some people say.

And it goes, yeah, I guess. So many of the women who say I have a foot fetish. Gina Davis, my ex-wife. All these people in my mirror. And he goes, he's like looking at my work. There are a lot of close-ups of people's feet. I don't know why I find it interesting. Little feet doing their little things.

And when you watch the movie with that lens when Saffron Burroughs is going back to her waterlogged room, they cut to her feet a lot. Oh yeah. And in the scene where she's on top of the table, too, she keeps cutting back to her little feet. Like, the scene right before she takes off the wetsuit and the shark comes into that room.

She backs away and then she's not sure where the shark goes. So she gets up on this table where her feet are still underwater. But she's just on a table. She's seen a mouse and a Tom and Jerry cartoon. That's not helping anything. The sharks can smash through like steel doors. She's standing on like a work desk. It's a big, it's a good work desk.

Built to last. It's not IKEA bullshit. Wait, do you have Sam Jackson's Death Core? Oh, do I? Of course. I mean, the best thing in cinema is... Because this is pretty spectacular. No matter what anyone thinks about this film, this is one of the greatest scenes in cinema history. 100%. And...

What if one of the things I think about this film is that it is not? You and I have a problem, sir. I was genuinely pleasantly surprised by this beat. Well, this is like, did you not ever see this before? No, I'd never seen this movie. And you didn't know this happened? No, no, no. Oh, awesome.

Oh, no, I had no idea and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I saw this in the theater when it came out and seeing it right yourself at home is a much different experience. And it was like the production of My House was plagued with a box of crickets. All right, here we go. Classic scene. One of the greatest scenes in cinema history, according to some. Pager can be lethal. But it doesn't hold a candle to man.

Now, you've seen how bad things can get and how quick they can get that way. Well, they can get a whole lot worse. So we're not going to fight anymore. We're going to pull together and we're going to find a way to get out of here. First, we're going to seal out this movie. Two shots.

Yeah. I got to say, the first time I saw this movie, my immediate thought when that happened is, how is he going to get out of this? I genuinely thought he was going to get out of it somehow. There's a great thing on the DVD commentary of this. Samuel Jackson does the commentary, but as soon as he gets killed, he leaves.

All right, bye. He literally goes, and somebody else, this is, check this out too. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did he say anything about fucking Ronnie Cox? In the boardroom? He's my cousin. The best.

This is also the idea of some of these are really sexy, like wetsuits. And some are not, like this one, the sleeveless. V is normal, but then she's got like a deep V. Why would you ever need a deep V in a wetsuit? Is that the zipper? Is that the zipper open? Yeah, but why does her zipper in the front, and nobody else does?

The good question is, why is there such variety of wetsuits? It's not like... They spent all their money on that, and had nothing left for the air masks. Did everyone bring their own wetsuit from home? That might be it. She has a bespoke wetsuit?

A Savile Row wetsuit. Let's get into the crowd, because I'm sure you guys have some questions that are worthy of... I can give you guys some stuff. You have good questions. I'll give you some stuff. Let's see. All right. Oh, right here. Large in charge.

What do we got? Well, not large. All right, what's your name? What would you call this movie? And then what's your question? Wow, you have notes. Look at these notes. Good notes. All right, here we go. What's the name of the movie?

Jaw-Racic Park? Ooh. Very good. Very good. I like that. I had to follow through with you, because the religious theme was very strong throughout. Oh, I'm so fucking stupid. It took 21 times for me to fucking realize it.

I was just like, these deaths are rad until this one. There was also a scene in the beginning before he even smokes the cigarette that she gives him this ridiculous facial expression. She's like... Then can we talk about the hip-hop prayer at the end with L.O. Cool J? I do have that. We can listen to it.

I end every fucking night with a hip-hop prayer ever since I saw this movie. Me and my wife get together. She does the beat. I do the words. Let's play the hip-hop prayer. Just why not? Why not, indeed? Okay.

L.O. Cool J puts out his hands. Who would want to die like this? I can't hear you. Come on, let's go, I hear you. Give me your hand. Amen. If you were on your deathbed and he came in and held your hand,

and that happened... You would come back from the dead. Probably. That was so impressive, but in contrast to his video that he made at the end where he was like... His will? God also wants him to get with a lot of hot girls.

Did you get your full question out? Okay, great. I'm going to give you this, the room, the definitive guide. Someone gave that to us. I want to tell you one quote from the movie on your topic, which is... The Stellan Skarsgar character says... Someone says to him,

What in God's creation? He goes, not his. No one seemed like they wanted to be doing this science project. No one was on board with it. Except half the girls. They really hated it. All right, here we go. What's your name, the title of the movie that you would have,

and your question? My name is Daphne. I was just going to the bathroom. Please get out of my way. My title would be Jawsheimers. Whoa! Great!

So my question is, what would you think about if the scientist, Saffron British lady... Fuckin' Brits. Routing science. She was giving herself the Alzheimer's medication,

wanted her brain to grow big, but it made her evil, and then she commanded the sharks to kill everybody. Wait, you think that might have happened in the movie, Jim? That would have been a better... If she was telepathically controlling them... Jim, get out of the audience and get on stage. I'm going to give you a very special

how to just get made June sticker for that question. For best June question of the night, Daphne! Jason, you're... Jason's June dar is out of control tonight. I really miss June. June is controlling her

from her... from her compound in Florida. Your question starts. Yes, sir, your name, your title, and your question. My name is Sammy. My title would be Planet of the Sharks. My question is... Which is close to Earth, really.

It's true. We acknowledge that Michael Rappaport went to college at Caltech for four years, and he is also the same one who when asked how big the fences were, he said, eight feet, give or take one centimeter. Which...

I had a huge... I had a huge problem with that piece of dialogue because not only does it conflict with Imperial and metrics, it's just, why would it matter if it was a centimeter or not? And that was my big issue. See, you got into the

science of it. I don't know much about metrics. I'm going to give you a sticker for that question. Alright, I'll have to dig one out. I'll come back to you. You'll get a sticker. Alright, anyone else have a question over here? Okay. Guys, you guys are bringing the heat with these questions. Alright.

Here we go. Sarah, what's your question? Well, first of all, Dustin. Dustin, yes. Oh, sorry. Give him his fucking name. I'm sorry. Dustin, I'm sorry! Paul, are you going to take that? Get him out of here. Get him the fuck out of here.

Hey, Guy, we didn't ask your goddamn name. We asked what's your question. Don't get cocky. Alright, Dustin. What's your name? Who would you have cast as the lead of this film if you could cast anyone? And what's your question?

Ooh, uh... The lead? The lead. Thomas Jane Roll. You've been cast... I mean, the supporting roles, I've certainly filled out in my mind. I would have cast Barry Pepper in the Michael Rappaport role, because I like the chemistry pepper. You want to recreate the HBO Yankees movie

with Barry Pepper? You're a real pepperhead, aren't you? Alright, what's your question? My question, of course, is how did you guys miss the cold-open nip-slip for the... Oh, wait. Are you Mr. Skin? Mr. Skin?

Are you Mr. Skin? Mr. Justin Skin? There's a pretty clear nip-slip in there. Who's nip-slip? I don't see the nip-slip. You're watching the women you were paying attention to. Lady in the pink bikini. Is that what's written on your paper? Nip-slip.

In red marker? Right here it says P-slip, pink bikini. Oh, nip-slip. An areola is drawn in his pink. I feel like he's pulling us into a sexual fantasy right now, where he gets to say something. By the way, I'm on board.

Well, we'll go back and watch it. Alright, sir, your name and who would you cast as the lead of the movie? And you can't use Barry Pepp. Oh, and also, who do you think the lead of the movie is currently? Because I would like to know.

The shark, right? He's on the poster. My name is Hector. I think maybe Ice-T instead of LL Cool J. Wait, as the lead? Decent idea. He's the lead, right? Alright, so you want to replace LL Cool J.

An interesting character out and, er, okay. Alright, interesting, interesting call. Hey, that bird better shut up. You better shut up, bird. Ice-T and Coco. Ice-T is here. I like this bird what he's saying to me.

Shut up, bird. What a rude bird. I was just wondering if anyone had made the connection between Michael Rappaport's name and the fact that he gets torn apart and you could call him Michael Rappaport. Very good pun work. Boo!

I'm going to take a sticker. I'm taking a sticker back from someone. I'm taking a sticker back. Alright, sir. Your name... You treat your audience like children in a preschool. They're going to act like it! Your name, your lead of the movie,

and, er, and your question. Yeah, my name's Adam. I would replace Tom Jane with John Travolta. Ooh, dope idea. I'm into that. I'm on board 100%. And let's throw Barry Pepper in

for what's his name, and we've got a Battlefield Earth sequel. I was wondering if anyone noticed the scene where they put the shark brain goo onto the human brain? The lightning in a bottle scene? Yes. Stellan Skarsgard.

Stellar skateboard. Stellar skateboard. As soon as they see, oh, the blinking light, it's a success. He plants this deep kiss on the blonde doctor. Oh, no, they... No, they were fucking. She was very, very mad

at the other girl for getting her boyfriend murdered. Yeah. And that was kind of like a subplot. She doesn't like his smoking. She doesn't want a disused torpedo loading station from the Second World War. You're getting a lot of people... You do that a lot.

Yeah, there's hookups that are going to occur. Yeah. I assumed everyone on that was having sex with everyone. Right? Mostly with Stellar skateboard. I gave him a wet blood fart sticker. All right, from one of our... Let's see.

It's such a good one. Who can tell me what episode that's from? Justin DeKalb. Thank you. Okay, here we go. Your name? Your name? Your title of the film?

And... Any questions? I'm Maddie. My title would be Jurassic Shark. Nice. Yeah, and my question is... What was hers? It was similar, right? Joe.

And my question is... You said that, like, yours is incredible. Fight. Fight. I'll be in the parking lot. I'll call you later. My question is,

if the sharks from Sharknado and the sharks from Blue Sea had to fight, which one would win? They wouldn't get in a fucking tornado in the first place. Yeah, these are too smart. Two-parter, though. Who would you want to be your shark killer? Ion Zering or...

Thomas Jane. Ooh, who would you want to save you? I'm still gonna take Michael Cain from Jaws 4. It's a good one. You'll get something, too. We've done a lot of sharks movies. The most... The God's Original Killing Machine.

Why wouldn't we? What are the stats on shark movies? Still just the one good one? I think so. In all of cinema history? I think that's probably true, right? You guys are really bringing in the great questions. I'm gonna go get one or two more. Here we go.

All right, here you go. Your name, your lead that you would like to see in this movie. And your question. My name is Lydia. I would say Kevin Bacon is the lead. Yeah. My question is, did anyone else notice

that Thomas Jane is doing this all as like a work release? Like, he's on parole? Yeah, we didn't talk about that. An odd specific that pays off in no way whatsoever. Like, he was just smuggling. So that doesn't even help smuggle. Like, at the end, it wasn't like,

oh yeah, this is what I used to do. Like, the smuggler. We never found out why he could ride sharks, either. Yeah. And yet, the first time he did it, I was like, I wonder if he'll do this again. Surprise, surprise, he does. But why does he care? Like, when he swims

to get the license plate out of the shark's mouth, like, who cares? I agree 100% with that. You're fat, who cares? Okay, here we go. Your name, your title, and your question go. My name is Callie, my title is

Sharkautica. Ooh, nice, different. And my question is, was it doubling as a jet fuel storage facility, because the explosions that happened here were like, epic. Like, to the sky. And they happened many, many times

with giant fireballs every single time. It was like one of those things, like, when you go to Universal Studios, like, this is how we make movies. Here's a giant wave and an explosion. Miami Vice stunt show. It's like, water world spectacular, really. That water world spectacular is spectacular.

Oh, that's actually pretty good. That is actually pretty good. That's why I won that live show. No joke. But if you watch that sequence again, no matter how dumb it is, one thing lights one thing, that lights the next, lights the tank, they put a lot

of pointless effort into that. But they did do that thing where they turned the wheel that says fuel shut off. So where is the fuel coming from? All right, I think we got all the good questions. I feel like, all right, one more. One more, and we'll see. We'll make it worth it. Who's really confident in their questions?

Wow, you're confident. He's so confident, he's confident. Guy, I want you, you have it out right now. I want you to really think about this. I feel like you say that when you're having sex too. I'm confident. I'm confident. I'm confident.

I got this. I got this. Uh-oh, I'm sorry. I lost my confidence. I was wrong. I am so sorry. All right, here we go. I called you an Uber. Because you're so confident, I'll let you choose if you want to do a title or a star of the movie.

All right, so here we go. Your name and you pick. Okay, name is Ryan. And I like births, chums. Ooh. Birthday chums. Birthday chums, because chum is what you used to get in the water

in Saffron Burrows. Birthday is that day. So I had the birthday for Saffron Burrows. It was her birthday? Yeah! With that birthday party? Yo, on Netflix, this is under the category birthday movies. Birthday chums. I like birthday chums.

All right, so far so good. You're hitting it Why does it matter that it's her birthday? That is a good question. I think in an attempt to make her likeable, right? I think so too. I think it makes her a scene human. I think there was a cut of the movie that didn't have that scene,

and people thought she might be an alien. Or sharks got so smart, they turned into women. I'm gonna give you a How'd This Get Made sticker and a book about nachos. Okay. I actually bet you they did that because they were just like, we need a party. Well, they need that, and what a party they provided.

They needed that kick-ass scene between L.L. Cool J and Sam Jackson where he talked about the avalanche. That's what happens in that scene. Okay, so obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but now it is time for a second opinion. These are... These are five-star reviews

that were listed on Amazon. On IMDB, it has 50% from critics and like 4 1⁄2 out of 5 from fans. Believe me, look, this is a classic film. Every one of these reviews, by the way, pretty much includes this phrase, sorry, Jaws. Like...

They all slammed, like, I don't mean to slam Jaws, but this is the best shark. Yo, I saw Jaws one and a half times, and I saw this 21, so I'm with these motherfuckers. All right, so I feel sorry for you, Jaws. Here's one right here, it goes, action movie and it has L.L. Cool J? Enough said.

This is a cool action movie and the science is just a plus. Five stars. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Hey, man, you wanna go see that cool action movie? I don't know. There's science in it. I'm in. This is from Richard R. Brown,

a.k.a. The Deer Hunter. Says, sharks, all in caps. Sharks and dinosaurs are my thing, and this is the best shark movie I have. I have watched it over and over again and over and over and again. It makes Jaws one through four look like guppy movies. Whoa, too far, Deer Hunter.

How dare you use the G word? Uh... Okay, and then this is another one that I really like here, from S Ranch 60. A.k.a. Citizen King. This is the best shark movie ever. Jaws is weak children's G-rated material compared to this vicious, raw, brutal,

blood-soaked movie. These sharks are killers. Dude, great movie. The best way to watch this movie is on a big Sony Wiga TV, when it's a dark out. Yowza, bite me, buzzed up. Wow, and...

I need to, like, sign off more emails. Yowza, bite me. Yowza, bite me, Jason. And I'll read this one because it made no sense to me. This is from Jack V. Carlisle, electronics entrepreneur. Uh... Hello, Jack V. Carlisle, electronics entrepreneur.

I'm just creating my Amazon profile to be able to write reviews. Are you the person who makes economic decisions for the household? This is... This is the entire review. I read it a few times. Starts off with...

But give him or her just a nibble, even though they want the whole steak. Swim for your life. Get out of the water. Five-star review. Is that, Paul? Is that a haiku? It could, but give him slash her just a nibble, even though they want the whole steak.

Swim for your life. Get out of the water. It's not a haiku. Do you guys understand the first two lines? Because I do not. No. I don't understand it. Who's giving who a nibble for what? I don't know if he's saying give the shark a nibble. Wait, is this his nibble? This guy with the nipple? Is that what this is about? Maybe it is.

Maybe it should have been nibble. What did the missing sentence be? But it starts with... I'm high on acid. Yeah, because it starts with but. No one's arguing with you. Richard B. Carlisle, electronic entrepreneur. I would say that 95% of people writing reviews on Amazon think someone's arguing with them.

They're coming from a defensive place. Oh, so you, Mary, I did not care for this book. Dude, yowza. Well, we already know, I think, Evan, where you stand, which is you would watch this move. I would recommend people watch it. I will literally fight anyone in the alley who doesn't fucking respect this film.

This is the greatest movie. Everything I make is dog shit. Everything you guys make is dog shit compared to this. This is the greatest movie in the fucking world, and I will watch it a hundred times before I die. Paul, would you recommend this movie? No. Jason.

Yeah, I enjoyed it. It was fun. It was just... it was like real, real stupid fun. Yeah, I would recommend it as well. Now, we're gonna do something. I don't know if this will work for the people at home, so you can opt to tune out, but I don't think... Oh, but how about this? For the people at home, how about you go straight fuck yourself?

Yeah, great. Before... Before we end the show, Evan brought this to my attention. I've never seen this video before, and I think... And you can guess how many times I fucking see it. I think it's worth talking about

the LL Cool J song and the video that accompanies it. Are you gonna play the whole video? You gotta play the whole thing. I feel we should. Right? Why not? I've never seen the video. I've heard the song. I've never seen the video. The ending is the best part. Don't leave before it ends. We're gonna talk about it. We're gonna watch it.

Here we go. And at home, sit back and listen and try to... And of course, the song title. Deepest Bluest. My hat is like a shark fin. My hat is like a shark fin. Deepest Bluest. My hat is like a shark fin.

Deepest Bluest. My hat is like a shark fin. Deepest Bluest. My hat is like a shark fin. Deepest Bluest. My hat is like a shark fin. Man. They couldn't afford to remove the cable.

No legs. No No No No No No No

No No No in heaven, hollow be thy name, kill us wannabes, swallow in their flames, they sweeps my DNA, drip me the cool day, I can't fight the feeling of force to kill prey, to survive and attack, there's only one way, battle to the death, that's how sharks play, weapons left behind, we duelin' with the mind, you blind, dripplin' crazy, you're real easy to find, struggle in the float, with hemorrhages in your throat, to get in the lap dance, when I smash through your boat,

eat your whole fam, nothin' left with a right hand, clingin' to a rail, escape or tech fail, never makin' home, tear the flesh off your bone, walkin' in undercurrents is a dangerous zone, I'm talkin' death out of moments bones, you wasn't focused, me and my coos, like some underwater wolves, oh, deepest blue is my hand, it's like a shark spit, deepest blue is my hand, it's like a shark spit, deepest blue is my hand, it's like a shark spit, deepest blue is my hand, it's like a shark spit, deepest blue is my hand, it's like a shark spit, gimme some proof my hand, it's like a shark spit, it looks like a shark spit, oh oh, take this deeper hold, uh, uh, take this deeper под, uh, take this deeper hold, uh, deeper hold, it's a waist level, the hold

waist clubted, lost this group of gear, the killer's quote, blood in his veins, and web, Oh Well, what would you have played in the big horses? The first underwater rap what's this what's this You see this guy this guy's a little creepy Michael Rappaport gets little end with Skoggins the music video does give you most of the movie in like a real quick digestible format it really does spoil a majority of the movie but not in order no I think they deduce they were

gonna make more money off the shark fin song movie and just like threw it all in there I say the ocean is haunted that's not a part of the movie at all you don't think that there's tons of ocean creatures with unfinished business by the way it's just like there's just spectral fish yeah just there's there's a lot like by the way that would be a great sequel deep blue sea it's all the ghost sharks yeah yeah they're trying to build you know Aquatica again and the ghost sharks and you can't kill ghost sharks they already can't but you can bring back every character from this one how do you get a ghost

shark with the ghost they just always are living in this cycle of just being chasing their spirits are just chasing each other for eternity they are it's like they are being punished like it like like Sisyphus they are just or whatever they're just in a constant battle with these sharks oh my god that video is amazing now Paul you have a very exciting news right because yes okay well let's talk about this coming April 1st coming April 1st I'm going to have a new podcast on your wolf very exciting what can you what can you tell us about I know it's a it's a kind of a top-secret thing but what can you tell

us it is called I don't know why that it's top secret but it's called spontaneous nation it is it is improv based it's everything as I'm doing things differently in the way I usually do them which is tons and tons of production that causes me great stress and anguish and this is something that's all completely in the moment there's I improvise a monologue and then I'll have a guest that we do a freeform interview and then me and some supervisors do a long-form narrative improv just tell one story over the course of the second half of the show do you write the story at all it's

completely written out but okay is there like a theme that guides you no we get a we get a question from the previous guest that starts off the interview and then the guest on that episode will give us a location and that's all we have to go on and then we go from that's awesome so the whole thing it provides I'm gonna stop watching this one and just go straight really that sounds amazing so April 1st that comes out on your wolf and you know how to figure that out if you're listening to this you can figure that out Evan what do you want to plug anything not really okay I mean I'm making

neighbors too all right that's exciting very exciting unless you didn't like neighbors one but yeah just all right great and you can follow you on Twitter right you can I there's a thing with North Korea right back off Twitter for a little cool it on the social media and generally going outside for a few more months all right Jason what do you want to plug you might be in neighbors too so plug it oh yeah neighbors too dr. Theodrakis will sure make another appearance

this podcast all right great yeah this way if you've made it to the end of this podcast I would like to plug it again go back and listen to this episode of this podcast it's already out at the time you're listening oh yeah yeah so it's a veil yeah you can definitely get it and you're in it you definitely I don't know if I'm still in the episode okay we'll see we'll see how that goes follow me on Twitter you follow you don't follow Jason on Twitter not Twitter I will plug fresh off the boat to show them doing right now in ABC oh I do have a plug yeah I do have a plug I did an episode of community that's

gonna come on yahoo oh great I want to give a big shout out to all the people that help us with this show of course Nate Kylie Averill Halley July Diaz and of our new theme song creator cleave speed and Haru I don't know if I pronounce that at all thank you guys for coming see you