How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Demolition Man LIVE! (w/ Wyatt Cenac)
Episode Date: February 19, 2024Recorded LIVE at SubCulture in New York, Wyatt Cenac joins us as we dive into the futuristic world of Demolition Man! We discuss the frozen Sylvester Stallone cube, the slang of the future, the possib...ility that Wesley Snipes improvised every one of his lines, Denis Leary’s rant, and seashell wiping. Get ready for some spot on Stallone/Snipes impressions! (Originally Released 07/09/2013) UPCOMING TOUR DATES IN: Belfast, Dublin, Glasgow, & London! Go to hdtgm.com for tix and info.Pre-Order Paul’s book about his childhood, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, wherever books are soldFor extra Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerHDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Now it's time for...
Life is for me
Gonna have a good time
Celebrate a failure
Not just be the leader
Cause you know you wonder
How does this work?
Let's all win the mediocrity of sub-par arts
Perhaps we'll find the answer
To the question
How did this get made?
Hello people of Earth!
CHEERING
Wow, what a crowd! Hello New York!
We are live at South Culture.
We're in a beautiful space here on Bleecker Street.
We have an amazing show for you,
but first, let me introduce my two co-hosts.
Please welcome,
June Diane Rapio!
And,
Jake Dill!
And,
Jake Dill! And, And Jason Manzuga!
Very special guest here tonight, we've got a Wyatt Sennach! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah!
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Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! in 1993 posits a world that in 1996,
shit has gone terribly wrong.
She's just,
the opening of this movie,
this is like a weird cliche that bugs me,
it's like the Hollywood sign is just on fire?
Oh yeah.
And it feels to me like the filmmaker's like,
oh yeah, it's always on fire.
It's not like that was just a-
Yeah, because there wasn't like a fire in the hills.
Like nothing else around it was on fire.
Like just the letters.
Just the letters.
Yeah.
Well, I feel like every year, at least when I lived in LA,
there was always, this is the year that the Hollywood sign
is going to be torn down and people would fight to save it.
And it's like, if you watch all these movies,
no, nobody wants it.
No. Nobody wants it. Let it go. if you watch all these movies, no, nobody wants it. No.
Nobody wants it.
Let it go, let it go.
Yeah, these, clearly these politicians are like,
no, I've seen Demolition Man in like 800 other movies
where the sign gets burned down.
You guys don't want it, we get the message.
We hear you.
Also, why are our politicians watching Demolition Man?
Most of the best politics that happened in the 80s,
most of Clinton's administration was in Alfa.
Sylvester Stallone, Joe Silver.
Almost all of Antonio Villargoza's campaign promises
were from Demolition Man.
Prop 8 was Demolition Man.
Guys, Prop 8 is dead.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
And you know why?
Because the demolition man came in and destroyed it.
Lid it on fire.
I thought that Doma was like demolition man.
I don't know what the O stands for,
but the D and the M is like demolition man.
Absolutely.
So in 1996, things are bad.
So bad that one of the airline,
one of the helicopter police pilots goes like,
hey, remember when they used to let commercial airlines
land in Los Angeles?
Like that, what about when the city was on fire?
Like that's the one thing he's regretting,
like, oh man, remember that,
when commercial airlines would land here.
Like that's a weird thing, all right.
I thought it was weird. airlines would land here. That's a weird thing. All right. Well, by the way, in that first scene when Stallone throws a rope down and just shimmies
down to the ground.
It is a shimmy.
He jumps out of the back of a helicopter and yells with an egg.
First days that you started yelling his name.
He says, send a maniac to catch one.
Then he jumps out screaming Phoenix.
Phoenix, I'm sky fucking you.
At this point in the movie though, you don't really know who Phoenix is, like where Phoenix
is.
So to just see him yelling, screaming Phoenix.
Well that is like the problem at the beginning
of this movie, which is he runs out,
he does like basically the world's best bungee jump
and then immediately goes into killing mode.
Like before you land, like whoa!
Bam, bam, bam, bam.
That's the thing is he bungees out
and he never goes back up.
He bungees out to the ground and is like, quick, quick.
He just jumped like half a mile.
He lands and misses no one and then proceeds
to have a mental knowledge of this abandoned warehouse
as if he has studied it his entire life.
It was like, oh yeah, it's like going to mom's house.
I know that.
Like, and meanwhile, it's revealed that, like,
he's been chasing Phoenix for two years
and he finally found this place.
So this is the first time,
there's no recon on this building.
No, no.
He lands on the ground, shoots everybody,
and as if he is like has the map
in his head goes like buh buh buh buh buh buh
and like Wesley Snipes is like buh buh buh buh buh
wait what and it's still on his like ah I'm here now
I got you and I was like at what point is Wesley Snipes
not like there were like 400 dudes that I feel like
should be guarding me but you got through all of them
instantly.
Basically the beginning of Demolition Man
is the end of an awesome movie that we did not see.
Yeah.
And I want to see the two years where like
Wesley Snipes moves to LA,
then somehow works his way up in the LA,
like Underworld.
His family is murdered and so having nothing to live for,
he takes to a life of crime.
Then he builds a wall all around LA, sets shit on fire.
He goes to that beauty shop, gets his hair dyed blonde.
One of my favorite moments, too, is like,
he's like, where are those people on the bus?
And he's like, and where's his place?
Oh, guess what?
Snape says Kidnapped has abducted a bus full of regular people. And he's like, I what's his name? Oh, guess what? Snape says kidnapped, has abducted a bus full of regular people.
And he's like, I told those bus drivers,
don't come into LA, but those bus drivers won't listen.
It's like, that is their job.
Your beef is with the bus drivers of Los Angeles?
And by the way, they're just doing their job, guys.
Yeah.
They are just shepherding us from place to place
in the most humiliating vehicle known to man.
These bus drivers, like that's Wesley Snipes' anger.
He talks so vehemently about these bus drivers,
like they can't come in here.
It's like, why?
What, like they're not threatening your drug empire.
They're just dropping people off.
I don't know why they would even want to be dropped off in a city that is on fire. But if they want to, they're just dropping people off. I don't know why they would even want to be dropped off
in a city that is on fire,
but if they want to, they're doing the job.
Also, he's a guy, he's clearly wasteful,
because very early on, you see him do one line of coke,
but leave two behind.
Just like, these are fine,
I'm gonna come back to you guys.
When I'm ready.
Yeah. You don'm ready. Yeah.
You don't go stale.
How about this?
At a certain point when Stallone is entering
and Wesley Snipes realizes Stallone is gonna enter,
he punctures these gasoline tanks,
so there's gasoline all over the ground, right?
And so Stallone comes in and he's like,
I got you, or whatever he says, right?
Whatever he says, he relaxes everybody, relax.
And then Wesley Snipes is like, ha, ha,
you're standing in gasoline, lights a cigarette,
and then says, what does he say?
Something about like you're going to go up in flames
or whatever, someone liner, then he.
Oh, he says it's cold in here.
Oh yeah, let's turn up the heat or something.
Okay, throws the cigarette, flanks erupt everywhere. Okay? But he's also standing in flames. Yes, okay, so up the heat or something. Yeah, yeah. Okay, throw us the cigarette. Flames erupt everywhere, okay?
But he's also standing in flames.
Yes, okay, so he's standing in gasoline.
So flames are like, all Stallone does.
The only thing that happens to Stallone is he drops his gun.
He's like, oh, that's hot.
Oh, the steel got so hot in my hand.
Oh, God.
But then he just jumps right out of it,
jumps onto us, nobody's on God. But then he just jumps right out of it, jumps onto us. They're fighting.
Nobody's on fire.
But I'm confused.
Did the gun get caught in the flames
and then got too hot to hold?
Or did he just get scared and throw that gun down?
Because that's what it looked like.
I hope it's beat.
Woo!
Woo!
It looked like he just freaked.
There's a lot.
That's what you don't see when he's in the helicopter
flying past the Hollywood sign burning,
is that he's like, oh, can't look, can't look,
can't look, can't look.
Tell me when we pass the fire sign.
Tell me when we pass the fire sign.
I would love it if in this movie there was a thread
that is like fire is his snakes to Indiana Jones.
Why did it have to be fire?
He's part Frankenstein monster and he's afraid of fire.
The lunch move is basically like a football player's tackle.
It's just sort of like, I just lunges at a guy.
He has guns and he has knives on him,
but it's just a tackle.
But he also, I realized like he does a lot in that movie
of the sideways jump and shoot action.
Yeah.
Before John Woo, it's like it was John Woo.
But that it seems like for the 90s,
like the three point stance thing that we see in movies now
was that's what it used to be.
I think you're right.
It was like the sideways, like, kooch, kooch, kooch.
One leg up.
Yeah.
The one thing I remember about this movie most clearly,
and it's not even about the actual movie,
is I used to go to Planet Hollywood all the time,
under the guys.
Like, I would be like, dad, take me to Planet Hollywood,
that's where the celebrities hang out.
What?
I would, I was mighty.
But I also met Anthony Michael Hall, so I was also right.
Oh, jokes on us, jokes on us.
Nice.
I thought you said celebrities.
It was pre-Demolition.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm starting to beef with Anthony Michael Hall.
And I remember always wanting to eat
under the naked
Stallone demolition maker.
He gets frozen in this movie and there's a block of ice,
but it's kind of just naked Stallone.
Ugh!
Really, and I just thought that was so cool.
I was like, whoa, it's like he's in there.
Wait, and that was at Planet Hollywood?
Yes, a big, giant, like six by eight foot circle
with a Stallone dummy inside. a big, like, giant, like, six-by-eight-foot circle
with, like, a Stallone dummy inside. You know what they should have done
is they should have had a table that was that.
Oh, that's good.
You should have been able to use that as a table.
And then when you eat your fries, you can see his junk.
They go, oh, I got it, I got it.
I have a feeling that there is someone who has that now
and it is a table.
Oh, yeah.
It is. That would be the best table of all time. Guys, let's all chip now and it is a table. Oh yeah. It is.
That would be the best table of all time.
Guys, let's all chip in and get one of those.
Well, because once Planet Hollywood shut down,
all that shit had to go somewhere.
Yeah, someone had a Biaxelfolis jacket.
Yeah, I'm sure that they weren't like,
hey, so Planet Hollywood shutting down Smithsonian.
You guys, you guys want Stallone in ice?
You guys want a bunch of garbage?
Yeah.
I mean, we're loading it up on the truck
and driving it down to you guys.
We were just giving you a heads up
to move the Millennium Falcon.
There's a great line at the beginning of the movie
said by the police chief in Leave a Weapon,
who like, after he like, he captures Phoenix
and he was like, hey, enough of this demolition man shit.
Like that's the Lones MO that he just demolishes stuff?
Well, very weak.
Keep this in mind, okay?
In the opening of this movie,
upon capturing Phoenix,
the entire building both explodes
and crumbles to the ground.
Like in seconds.
But oh, and they get away.
And they walk out of that.
But if you were to understand why,
it was because Buzzard's eyes
punctured a couple cans of gasoline.
Yes.
Well, I thought it was also like a chemical factory guys.
All right, maybe it was that that brings up something I really want to talk about
which is the events of September 11th. Oh brother. Well, here's the crazy thing.
Salon goes to jail because the hostages were in the building, but nobody
thinks to ask like, wait, did they die now? Like, did they die from this explosion
or were they shot in the head?
Because we learned later on that they wore jets.
Major spoiler alert.
Major spoilers.
They had been killed by Phoenix.
But by the way, a very harsh sentence
for a police officer capturing the world,
the world's worst criminal.
Yeah, that guy started the fire.
All he did was knock him out of the window
and he's like, all you're under arrest.
Why?
He made a tough call.
He made a tough call.
But it would be like, in my opinion,
it would be like if Stallone said,
fuck it, we'll blow up that building.
Then it would be a tough call.
Wasn't Snipes flip the building?
He just escaped.
And I love, you're going to jail, wait, I love that you have injustice.
You have a sense of like, there is an injustice
at the center of this movie.
An American hero is tried and sentenced to jail.
He is the only man who could find Phoenix.
Tried to take down a terrorist and in the,
as a result, some innocents died.
Those are lives lost in the service of a greater good.
Well, what makes it worse is the fact that
Wesley Snipes, as he's being taken away, is like,
this, I told him, I told him there were people there.
I told him there were people there,
and he said he didn't care, he didn't care.
That's witness testimony.
Send him to ICE jail.
Amazing Wesley Snipes impression.
And then, like, but by the way, it does this like the top rug.
Yeah, we believe you Wesley Snipes.
Maniac who's taken over Los Angeles, over a cop, like who is a hero.
But also he's a maniac too, because it takes a maniac to catch him.
Of course, that's true. That is true.
maniac to catch me. That's true. That is true.
Well done.
Thanks for coming.
Why is it an act, everybody? Why is it an act?
How did this get me?
How did this get me?
By the way, we've only cracked into the first three minutes of this.
By the way, I do have a question.
The credits have not yet happened.
No, this movie has a cold open.
So, but are we to understand that he's been sentenced to jail forever?
No, for 30 years.
Oh, 70, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Okay, 70 years.
In the same jail that Scott Peterson was apparently frozen in.
Yes, I pulled up a screen grab of that.
Jesus.
And they're going through their records.
I didn't catch this. Yeah. As they're pulling up their records. I didn't catch this. Yeah.
As they're pulling up their records, I can show you right here. This is all the people
that are in jail. That's amazing. Scott Peterson also had his parole hearing at 815. By the
way, why would they listen like that? It says 7am Hyde Quentin 815 Peterson Scott 730 Phoenix Simon
it should be the other way right no no in the future nothing happens in order
that was an evening parole hearing like they kind of knew that the Scott Peterson
one he had a lot to talk about so they both get frozen and this is before,
I think people even understood what cryogenics were
because they basically put Stallone Han Solo in a cube
and then fill it full of water and he seems to be choking.
Oh, it is alarming.
It's a very disturbing sequence.
It's a very disturbing sequence.
He's also naked.
No need to be naked.
There's no real sign of life signs.
He's drowned.
In what we're to believe, oxygen goo?
I don't like, he's drowning.
There's no way that he's drowning.
Oh, his lungs are filling with some sort of gloopy liquid,
and then they drop a freezer thing, and it all freezes and he's like
it looks like a terrible way to get frozen.
Oh yeah.
That's for sure.
I'm so low how easy.
The fact that they didn't say, so here's the thing, just lay down and put your hands
on top of your thighs.
They were like, no, we're going to put you in a weird hot tub thing and do whatever you
want.
Just make a face, do one of those guys, whatever you want, however you want to be frozen.
That's your last choice.
Like that's the last thing you.
Cause he is swimming around in there.
Like he's like, cause there's a point when the water,
the goop is filling up.
He's like, whoa, hey, whoa, some design.
He also seems okay with it.
The thing that really bothered me was that he wasn't like,
hey, this isn't cool. I'm a hero. Yeah. And when, and when someone,
I don't, I don't remember if it's smithers, there's an officer named Smithers.
When someone's telling him like what he's going to jail for and listing off like
all of the charges, he's just, he refuses to hear it and keeps on saying skip it.
Yeah. Skip it. Yeah. Just skip it. Yeah, skip. Yeah.
Just skip it. Yeah.
But like we all said in 1983, skip it.
But 93. 93. Sorry, sorry.
The vibe though is like he's been down this road a million times.
Like he knows what's gonna happen.
And he has parole officers like, hey man, real bummer.
I hate to do this to you.
I have to freeze you for 70. But job, like he does things like I'm not
making it. Apparently, and apparently that's like cool. Yeah, like no biggie.
And by the way, yeah, gosh, again, the first five minutes we are cracking
into, I feel like wasn't smashed like I'm not getting naked and you're not
filling up a confined space with me. Although he's in that trailer you played,
there is Wesley Snipes in Ice,
which we never see in the movie, right?
Yeah, maybe his trial was quick.
Guys, crack that code.
So when you're frozen though,
like, hair doesn't grow on your body
and your body doesn't age at all.
What's this now?
Oh, he's got, he suffers from like, below the ears alopecia.
That's either below the ears alopecia,
or like he went to a barbershop
and had two different people working on him.
Cause he's got half of a box that's like,
there's a fade that's not finished.
And then he's like, you know what, nevermind, die it, die it,
just die it blonde.
I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out of here.
I gotta get out of here.
I gotta commit heinous acts of terrorism.
He can't spend all day at the salon.
We cut to 2032.
Life has changed.
It is big time.
Apparently we all dress like Nazis.
Yes.
Nazis are extras in...
The police, the police do.
Nazis are bad extras in Star Trek Next generation. It's like everyone's just like
Dynan like big plowy dresses and like play you are gaseous. Welcome to Obama's America.
They don't say phone. They call it fiber I'll fiber optic you back, which is odd.
Yeah.
Cause that doesn't even seem like okay.
No, they've, yeah, they've just added,
because they've got no violence,
they've like, we got time to kill,
so let's just throw extra words.
Homicide, no, it's a murder death kill.
Yeah.
Is this, is this a car I'm driving? No, it's a conveyance.
My conveyance is... We're getting into conveyance.
And murder, death, kill. I've thought about that a lot.
Me too.
Murder, death, kill.
It's redundant. Murder...
There's never a murder that doesn't end in death.
So you can just rip the death out of there.
Killain is also murder. Yes. So you can just rip the death out of there. Killing is also murder.
Yes.
So you could just say kill,
cause that would imply death and murder.
You could just say murder when it applies kill and death.
But you don't even say murder, death, kill.
Yeah.
Okay, okay, Paul.
Murder, death, kill.
Sylvester Stallone.
John Claude Van Damme. Arnold Schwarzenegger, go!
I'm gonna murder Stallone, I'm gonna kill Schwarzenegger, and I'm gonna...
I'm gonna death Wesley.
When we cut to 2032, we're with Sandy Bullock.
Sandy Bullock.
And she is like a uniformed police officer.
Her name is Huxley Brave New World, nice reference.
Who is deep and smart?
There's so many references in this.
Did anybody else notice in the first thing,
Stallone punches a guy who's dressed like the Terminator?
Did anybody else notice that?
Right, there is a guy who's dressed like, yeah, there's this too.
Oh, yeah.
There's a Shorts and Eager reference later on.
There is.
There is.
Wait, do you think that Wesley Snipes dyed his hair because Joe Pesci had done it and
leave the wife?
Oh, my God, that's amazing.
I did want to talk about this.
Wait, do you think that's Joel Silver being like, Joe Pesci's blonde hair worked?
We're going to do blonde hair in this.
Blonde hair is cool.
Yeah.
Basically just so you know, people are like,
oh, that Cinderbug is a big like 20th century fan.
So that's why her office has a lethal weapon three poster.
Not even the best, like one of the worst of the lethal weapons.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hang on, bro.
Yeah. It's so weird. They're whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, bro.
Like it's so weird chili peppers because they've definitely lasted.
The chili pepper is carried over to 2032.
And there's a little joker. She's just obsessed with the 90s.
Like there's nothing wrong with that, but he keeps on saying she's obsessed
with the 20th.
And what about this one? They're like, oh yeah, chili peppers,
leave the weapon and a poster for the band Bomb.
Hate, fat love. What?
I feel like that was Joel Silver's kid.
Yeah.
We've got to get into a little bit.
If we put just a poster in the movie,
we'll move some units.
But she is a uniform police officer in 2032,
just driving her police car on
and calls the prison warden.
She calls the prison warden to say,
hey, warden, how come there's no crime?
I'm bored.
She's a police officer, just a regular, it is crazy.
She's looking for action, Lil,
but she knows she's gonna get it.
Here, I will say what they did predict
was they did predict the iPad,
because the Warden has an iPad,
but it's just got a shiny silver frame.
Steve Jobs, a lot of people think Steve Jobs got the inspiration for the iPad
from this movie.
That's he got by the way, when he was true story before he died, he said that.
Yeah, he said it as he died.
Yeah, watch demolition man.
All the answers for Apple products are in demolition man.
And then over his eyes, he's dead. Well, the answers for Apple, products are in Demolition Man.
And then X is over his eyes, he's dead.
Well, that's why they included the script in that jobs book.
It was the script in the last book.
Yep, yep, the last, the last appendix of the jobs book
is just the script for Demolition Man.
That's gonna be so, so prescient.
That's gonna be my favorite part of the Ashton Kutcher movie
is, cause in the movie, they show him watch Demolition Man,
but they don't cut.
They just show him watch the whole movie.
Him jerking off to Demolition Man.
Because everybody knows Steve Jobs
jerked off to Demolition Man.
That's where we're at.
And you can download this podcast on iTunes.
I'm being ripped this podcast on iTunes.
He's ripped off iTunes immediately.
So anyway, Oddly, Wesley Snipes has a parole hearing
for a mass murderer, seems odd. Seems odd that he's getting a parole hearing before he's alone.
Wasn't he sentenced to eternity?
Wasn't he sentenced to eternity? Wasn't he sentenced to eternity?
But yet they still run parole hearings just in case.
Like Stallone accidentally killed 20 people.
He still has 40 years before parole hearing.
Snipes gets one.
He gets out immediately.
No explanation how.
Because he breaks out of cuffs.
He doesn't do anything.
Oh no, no, that's because they programmed him. Yeah. Yeah.
But he programmed he would have to be sent into a computer to unlatch it.
Like he didn't do it. No, he knew the code. The guy says, how'd you know the code word?
Oh, code word. Yeah, or whatever he says. He said like diddy pants and then it was.
It was something that fuck. Yeah, it was not silly. It was like didditty pants and then it was it was something that fuck yeah, it was not silly
It was like diddly pants and then
And then they say how did you know the password?
He goes I don't know and that's why he's able to use all the kids like he goes up to an ATM and it's like
Like as you know, do you mean a self-esteem machine? Yes
steam machine? Yes. Exactly. Okay. Yeah.
Was this escapes very quickly. By the way, I feel like Wesley, I would like to look at the script because I feel like wasn't
improvised every line. Every line. I feel like he was like,
I'll be in this movie. If I can't, if I don't have to say any of
you dumb words.
There's a scene where he was just speaking in Spanish and I
happened to watch DVD last night and the audio director's commentary was on.
It's like, yeah, it wasn't just started doing
the scene in Spanish and we thought it was funny
so we just let him do it.
And I was like, I'm proven right.
That's crazy.
Man, like that's why he talks to the parole officer.
I love that you just said,
and for some reason the director's commentary was on,
as if you didn't turn on director's commentary.
I got it. I saw it. He did, I thought.
He couldn't figure out the DVD.
We couldn't figure out the DVD for him, I think.
I don't get that old shit, man.
I'm about Netflix instant and movie.
Oh, I'm about streaming.
Yeah.
So.
Here's what's really weird about this movie though,
overall, this is just a general comment.
Is the macro point?
Yeah, I'm gonna take a macro for a second,
cause it's so, like you don't know exactly
what you're rooting for.
Like there's this new society and it is violence free,
but there are certain freedoms,
like the freedom to eat fast food
that have been taken away from us.
June, haven't you heard Dennis Leary's rant
from his stand up back show? I did, Leary's rant from a stand-up fashion show?
I did, I did.
There are a lot of problems.
So, but you're put in a position, though,
you're put in a position where it's like,
as an audience member, you're harkening back
to the better times of 1996,
which was like full of mass violence.
Hey, but don't we...
It's like, what are we wishing for here?
But at the same time, there are people today who are like
Oh, it was so much easier in the 50s and it's like not for me. It wasn't
I don't know what you mean. I don't know what you mean
If you are unclear about why
Why people are upset here is a Dennis Leary's rant
Which is at the height of Dennis Leary being a stand up
and I feel like they're like, do your thing, man.
Just have a little more.
And Dennis Leary, just seeing that Dennis Leary is like,
like a society is rid of violence
and everything's great and glossy and funny.
And Dennis Leary is like the leader of the bad,
people that live underground,
like in a kind of matrix
revolutions kind of scenario
Robin Hood
Their graffiti is amazing
Unbelievable and what they write in the one of the first scenes in the movie is just simply life as hell. Yeah
life as hell. Yeah, yeah. Life as hell.
And it is.
And by the way, they have a graffiti,
anti-graffiti machine, which they show out works,
but it's just like poles that shoot out of concrete.
So I don't understand how the graffiti disappears.
It just seems like, like, psh.
You wouldn't get it, man.
But meanwhile, it's time for you to beat up people.
So we'll jack up the volume a little bit
because these clips are a little bit low,
but here you go, this is densely resrand.
See, according to Cato's plan, I'm the enemy.
Because I like to think, I like to read,
I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice.
I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit
in the greasy spoon and one and cheese.
Tonight at the T-Bowl State,
with a jumbo rack of barbecue ribs
with a side order of gravy fries.
I want high cholesterol. I want to eat bacon and butter and bucket of cheese, okay? I want to smoke cubits of garlic, size of Cincinnati, and a non-smoking section.
I want to run through the street,
snake it with green jello roll of my body,
read and playboy magazine.
Why?
Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay pal?
I've seen the future.
You know what it is?
It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his base pajamas,
drinking a banana broccoli shake,
singing, I'm an Oscar Mayer wiener.
You look up top, you look cocktail's way.
What he wants, when he wants, how he wants.
Your other choice?
You're not gonna be a good boy. You're not gonna be a good boy. You're not gonna be a good boy. You're not gonna be a good boy. You're not gonna be a good boy. 47 year old virgin sitting around in his face with Thomas, drinking a banana broccoli shake, singing an Amon Oscar Meyer weed.
He looked up and looked cocktoed this way.
What he wants, when he wants, how he wants.
Your other choice, come down here, maybe start with that.
And then he breaks into a pit song,
I'm an asshole, right?
That was that song that he had,
like we did stand up material during a song.
The other great part of that is that,
go back to that for a second.
Jack Black is one of the underground dwellers.
Oh, really?
Yeah, go to the very end, go to the very end.
I looked, I saw it in the credits and I was like,
that's, yeah.
Wow.
Oh, amazing.
That is awesome.
Free Bob Roberts.
Oh wow, that's awesome.
So that's the villain of the movie.
So basically...
Wait, that's the villain of the movie?
Well I mean he is because basically
Cocktoe, the new guy.
No.
Oh, Paul, that didn't clear it.
Cocktoe is the villain.
Well, but I'm saying Cocktoe says he's the villain.
So he-
Hey Paul, why are you listening to Cocktoe?
Yeah.
The guy created a great San Angeles, guys.
Hey man, I'm starting to think you're part of Cocktoe's plan.
Whatever.
I like wiping my ass with three seashells.
No big deal.
That's another like weird thing, like why would you over, why would you Flintstones
it? Like why would you go from toilet paper to seashells? Because according to Stallone
he said, he asked the director and his quoted is saying, it was explained to me the seashells,
you hold two of them like chopsticks and then you pull gently and scrape what's left behind
with the third.
What?
So you are like, you're going,
it seems way more,
waiting for them to have a shit in the future.
Wait, but how is it cleaned?
So you're going, you're going chopstick style
and you're getting the middle of a log of crap,
you're pulling that out and then you're taking the third shell and you're crap, you're pulling that out, and then you're thinking the third show
and you're like, get that uncooked.
We're talking like,
I think it's a pull and a wipe.
God, they didn't even know about the cotton-elk soft wipe.
That shit is so much more beautiful.
But you can't, when you say you hold them chopstick style,
so you hold two seashells with one hand?
Yes, like that, and you're pulling it out.
But we saw those seashells, they're big.
They were pretty big, and they were very clean.
So you'd have to wash the shit off of these seashells.
Like, who was like, oh yeah, that's actually more convenient
than paper that I use once and dump in the toilet.
That makes no sense.
Also, if you're somebody, like, cause it was how, it was, what, it was,
like they're like 80 year olds
who should be alive during this time,
who were like, wait a minute, no,
toilet paper, there was nothing,
there was nothing about toilet paper
that made us a violent society.
Yep.
Like toilet paper, if anything,
kept us from being a more violent society.
Why in your utopia that does not involve
the rest of the country?
Yeah, what is happening with the rest of the country?
Do you get rid of toilet paper?
And also, can we have the word homicide back
because it's really murder death kills.
The best part of murder death kill is when the computer reports like a 187 or like a
code and they're like, well what is that?
I don't even know what that is.
Well let's look it up.
Look up 187.
Oh, it's a murder death kill.
Don't you think it's a police officer?
You would know exactly what that thing is? How did this get me?
How did this get me?
So basically, you know, we don't have to get
into the big part of it.
Stallone's unfrozen, Leslie Seth's unfrozen,
they wreck a lot of havoc in the future.
Basically, Futurama.
Yeah.
And, and, and...
Wow, I didn't, didn't realize there
are so many Futurama fans.
But there aren't.
Canceled a second time.
Really?
Really?
Really?
Then you should have watched.
By the way, I don't mean to get back into the shit talk, but there is a moment,
like Sylvester Stallone is unfrozen, they bring him right to the police place,
he gets in the uniform right away, he's fully a cop, and he's like, hey, yeah,
just stand the books, by the way, you gotta tell that paper.
So that means that he's walking around with shit in his ass.
No, no, no, he was holding a shit.
He didn't go. He didn't go.
He didn't go.
Because then he swears a bunch, he swears a bunch, and every time you swear you get
a ticket, so he swears a whole bunch, so a whole bunch of paper tickets come out and
he goes, thanks, I'll be in the bathroom.
Here's the weird thing about Sandy.
Did you think he was just going to go read those in the bathroom like a newspaper?
I was like, I'm not going to get taken as shit, and he was like, oh, damn, there's no
toilet paper. I'm going to go shit and was like, oh, damn, there's no toilet paper.
All right, I'm gonna go out there, tell them the problem.
Then get a bunch of tickets and wipe my ass.
Like, he just pulled up his pants real quick,
so he's got, he's doing that scene for shit in his ass.
Hey, Paul, how are you living?
What, do you live like an animal?
Like, do you not check if there's toilet paper
before you go?
I think he was like, I've been frozen for 40 years.
I got this goo coming out of my ass
because it was all of it, all everything.
I need to shake this shit out.
I can't hold it in.
Oh, there's no toilet paper.
I'm freaked out.
I gotta go out there and I'm embarrassed.
This girl's kind of cute.
I need to wipe my ass.
I gotta be cool with her and just whisper.
Let me ask you this.
Also, Badaise.
They had Badaise in the 90s. And somebody was like, er, Badaise. Also, bidets. They had bidets in the 90s,
and somebody was like,
oh, a bidet, no, I figured out a method.
Seychelles.
I found three seashells.
Three metal seashells, they appeared to be.
Paul, I have a question for you.
Yeah.
When Stallone was frozen, he had a family, I think.
Oh, yeah, he did.
And when he asked about that family,
here's what he was told.
And then I have a mind-blowing question afterwards.
Okay, great.
I think we have the same question.
I think we all have the same questions.
I think we all have the same questions.
By the way, if you are a fantasy lover.
I'm just gonna, should we just go,
Sandra Bullock is 100% his daughter, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's no other way. Should we just go, Sandra Bullock is 100% his daughter, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's no other way.
Yeah, Sandra Bullock is 100% his daughter.
Yes, yes, yes.
Thank you, thank you. No, like, I can look it up.
And she stops.
And she's like, no, no, no, don't do that.
Yeah.
Because then when I fuck you, it'll be weird.
Oh, my God.
This is like old boy shit.
Spoilers for old boy.
Yeah.
Guys, you rock my world.
Right?
Yeah.
Right?
The minute that happened, I was like, oh, she's his daughter.
Then they had the sex scene and I was like, whoa.
Yeah.
This is gonna be really weird when they reveal
that she's his daughter.
But it was just mine, sex, so you could kind of play it out.
I was kind of okay with it.
But then it went in really.
But then kisses her and I was like, barf.
Yeah.
But then, and by barf, I mean barf out of my wiener, I came.
But by the way, the way the movie ends in spoiler alert, but it looks like he's gonna go off with her.
Yes, his daughter.
Yes, his daughter together.
They're together.
His daughter.
Come on.
This is a dystopian future.
By the way, there's no other explanation that's offered.
I am wrong. There's no other explanation that's offered. I am wrong.
There's no other explanation that's offered.
Because they spent so much time.
They spent so much time with where's the daughter?
Is there a daughter?
The wife is dead, we know that.
But there's a daughter and blah, blah, blah.
And I don't want to see the daughter because she won't like me
because I've been in ice jail.
But I want to fuck you, baby.
I should make sure you're not my daughter.
Oh, fuck it, who cares? Yeah.
But all right, I want to know one whole in this theory.
He was married, his last name was Huxley,
or his last name was Spartan.
She's Huxley.
How did you change your name?
Who knows?
I'm not worried about that.
She may be remarried.
She may be remarried.
Like, who knows?
His wife remarried.
And by the way, it's like it's a new society.
Who the fuck knows what happened?
I love, thank you, thank you.
I love, we are 100% on the same page.
He's fucking his daughter.
Yeah.
That's what also seemed weird when he was having mind sex
and he was like freaked out by it.
It seemed like-
Like a horror movie.
Yeah, that it was like, like he was like kind into it
and then it was like, oh wait a minute,
this could be my kid.
Yeah.
No, I gotta go.
I really thought we were gonna learn that information
and that we didn't was very upsetting.
This is Sex in the Future.
Guys, wanna watch Sex in the Future?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Woo!
The following scene is pretty amazing.
I let it go long here again.
Also, why do they fucking love jingles?
We'll begin in a few seconds.
Having sex, of course.
I want to talk to Sandra Bullock about this movie.
Stallone, again, great acting here, watch this.
What?
Not cool.
Oh shit. What? Not cool.
Oh shit. By the way, it's filmed like a horror sequence.
It's a horror sequence.
Yeah.
Is this my daughter?
Wait a minute.
Oh yeah.
We both have clips in our chin.
What? What? What?
What?
What's wrong? He broke contact.
Contact? I didn't touch you yet.
Wow. Guys, that just happened.
That is, I think, the most graphic sexy sexy they've seen even though it's not graphic. It's like it's he's a
Su-man's the Su-man's on his face. Yeah, look
And by the way, there's a great look in the future, just the Tuxedo Vest without sleeves. Yeah.
Or Tuxedo Jaguar without sleeves.
Yeah, in a world where everyone's-
It appears as if he has a right sleeve.
Oh, did it?
No, I think he had no, he didn't have either sleeve.
But in a world where everybody's a fucking wimp,
like the fact that they're like,
ah, but we're gonna go sleeveless to show off our muscles,
even though we don't have violence or anything like that.
I have a feeling they gave him like a full album.
He looked like a merman with these sleeves on.
Absolutely.
I feel like he was like, rip, rip, rip.
It's the same thing in over the top when the kid had a jacket
and he was like, I want this kid to have no sleeves.
I do like, by the way, that they refer to Simon Phoenix, the was his nice character as maniac
a lot. Yes. Yeah. Stand down maniac or like failure. The maniac is not listening. Yes. Right.
That like why that seems an overtly confrontational term. Yeah. Criminal maniac. Yeah, or even
just hey suspect. Yeah. Literally. why did they go in this future?
They, like, went zero to George Zimmerman.
Just, like...
I don't know if you're the person I'm supposed to be stopping,
but get on the ground, Maniac!
Get on the ground, Maniac.
Oh, man. And then, so, but, also, the movie is based on this idea
that Wesley Snatch needs to find the gun,
but yet he steals a stick from a police officer
that when injected into a car, blows it up.
He's probably like, oh, you know what, fuck the gun.
I'll take this stick that blows shit up.
And what is it?
Well, that was only because he-
What is it that the museum, though,
the guns are all in like a glass structure,
and he behaves as though
he's never seen glass in the night.
He gets excited about the cannons, like an old school pirate cannon, he's like, ooh,
what have you got here?
Well, as a child, he was never taken to a museum, and that's why he turned to that life of crime.
It says, it really says something about the state of public education.
Here we go.
I'm just saying, perhaps if it was a little better.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, good time at the museum, he was learning.
Yeah, he went to like that school
that the kids in the wire went to.
And then was like, oh, this is going crazy.
So in the world of demolition man, is there a world outside of San Angeles?
You would argue that that would be yes.
I mean, uh...
Well, we do...
I don't know that I would argue that.
There's an enormous earthquake that kills everybody basically.
Yeah, a lot of lights were extinguished.
If Santa Brooke said, and my mother
was also killed in that earthquake, it would have been good.
Oh.
Oh, yeah?
Was that a question?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She was so, oh, but no, here, actually, this is why
her name is Huxley, because her mother died,
her dad's in jail, she gets adopted,
she never knew her mom.
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Why is it Senak?
He was quite in a show.
Two exits.
Two bold exits.
Oh, here's another thing,
when Stallone's trying to have sex with his daughter,
he goes, he goes, oh, we're not gonna knock boots,
we're not gonna hunk a chunka.
Hunk a chunka?
When was that a phrase for sex?
It was between 93 when the movie was made and 96
when the movie is set.
Hunk a chunka.
Hey, do you want a hunk a chunka?
Yeah, I...
It was really gross.
My favorite...
I remember Colour Me Bad saying a song, Hunker Chunker.
Yeah.
One of my favorite things is once Simon Phoenix has escaped and they've thought out Sylvester
Stallone, they're like, okay, well, we've run the computer program, we know what he's
gonna do.
He's going to, it is determined that he will try
and set up a drug lab and start a new crime syndicate.
That's just his, that must be his plan.
And that made me furious.
Because I was like, you are fucking assholes.
If you think like, and so if I was just alone,
rightfully, it's like you guys are assholes and If you think like, and Sylvester Stallone, rightfully is like, you guys are assholes
and I felt vindicated.
Also, do you realize how long it takes
to set up a drug lab?
In this environment, it would be almost impossible.
You do not even get so people
on the idea of taking drugs.
Right, and find a drug that they,
like you're not, you don't have like,
weed or cocaine available, like you're gonna have to go
into a lab and make some sort of synthetic drug,
you're gonna have to do human trials,
you're gonna have to make sure it's addictive.
They can't stop for video artists.
That's, yeah.
It would be like saying this time,
it would be like he's gonna set up a loom factory
and people are gonna go there and get tapestries.
Like, it's like, why?
And also, it's gonna take some doing.
Yeah, this is a seven-year plan.
His drug lab idea, that's seven years.
That's a big world, yeah, that's a big chunk
that he's gonna get into.
By the way, it's also a very low-tier plan so but we're we come to understand one
but I'm sorry they're always looking for him but they clearly find him because
he curses all the time whenever he curses a ticket comes out of the machine
that's like oh you just follow the cursing machines that's where it is
they never use the cursing machines to locate him by the way, great point. We all should go to the future and be future cops.
We're not we come to understand that while Stallone was frozen, he was conscious during
that entire time.
Yeah, he definitely has.
All right.
Yeah.
Do you want to hear his?
Yeah, I love to.
Let's take your point first. No, no, let's watch it first for sure.
Here's a great dramatic monologue from Sylvester Stallone
about his time in cryo jail.
President, sister.
I don't want to spoil your dinner pal,
but my cryo sentence was no sweet lullaby.
I had feelings and I had thoughts.
How about a 36 year nightmare about people caught in a burning building?
You would awake.
I don't think so.
I do think so.
And my wife beating her fist against a block of ice that used to be her husband.
Then you were nice enough to wake me up and let me know everything that meant something to my life is gone.
Except your daughter.
It would have been more of a way to stake me down and leave me to the fucking crows.
What would you say if I called you a brutish fossil, symbolic of a decayed era?
Great.
I love that name.
I love that name.
I love the guy from Beetlejuice playing the same character.
I honestly thought the whole like, her thing, she wanted to fuck him.
Oh yeah.
And I was waiting for that moment where like,
he takes her into the Taco Bell bathroom.
She, and it's like,
I've done this before in the Taco Bell bathroom,
but never won this, nice.
She is wet.
I oddly got the, I guess, the European version of this online,
and Taco Bell is replaced with Pizza Hut.
What?
And yeah.
But they didn't change it all out, so there are some scenes that, like,
you see a Taco Bell sign and then they say pizza.
I was like, let's go to this Pizza Hut, but it's Taco Bell.
But there's no Taco Bell in I guess, far countries.
I went to college at the University of North Carolina and the one thing that I can take
pride in is that fellow alum, Dan Cortez, was the piano player in the Taco Bell.
Combination Pizza Hut Taco Bell.
I like that. Yeah, yeah.
That is playing like on the piano like Jolly Green Giant. It's a great scene. Jesse, the
big Jesse, the body, Ben Shura is in this movie as one of the he's one of the thought
out thugs that Simon Phoenix asks to be thought out. And by the way, a huge question mark on that one, only because like Simon Phoenix, like,
yeah, if you want me to kill Den Sleary, I got to get like a bunch of my guys out there.
Oh, yeah, sure. We'll release more crazy people in this world. And then at the end of the
movie, those guys are not captured. They're probably forming that drug lab.
Oh, yeah.
But a few of them were talking about it like,
hey, we could really make a killing with a drug lab.
Also, do you know, did he ever thaw out Jeffrey Dahmer?
Cause he was so excited about getting to meet Jeffrey Dahmer.
Great news, John Hine is tweeting about the show.
John Hine from the Howard Stern show.
He was just here.
I do know that the police don't seem too worried about Simon Phoenix being out, because at
one point Benjamin Brad says, it'll just be a matter of tick-tocks until we find him.
Again, overcomplicating the word time.
Because in the future we use longer and more words to say short things.
Here's what's so confusing about Sandy Bullock's character.
She set up as wanting to see violence and action so badly.
But the second something actually happens,
she doesn't do anything.
She just unfreezes.
Until later when she kicks a little ass, because.
But her instinct is to unfree someone else
to get in there.
Yeah, right.
Her dad.
Yeah.
Just her father.
Slash sexual partner.
Yeah.
I mean like there's an argument to be made
that she wants to see action because it's in her blood.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's in her blood.
Dramatic.
That's why everybody else is docile and lame and she has the blood of
John Spartan in her. John Spartan? She has the blood of John Spartan in her and she has soon
she will have the semen of John Spartan in her. By the way, this is the interesting point of this
movie. There's a part in this movie where Wuzz and Snipes threatens Copto, who's actually getting
on the whole thing, and we know that it's not a secret and it's not really revealed
in an interesting way.
And he runs away, and then they, like, everyone just kind of takes a break.
It's like, oh yeah, we're hunting that guy.
Anyway, do you want to come talk about tonight?
Yeah, let's go talk about it.
Let's go back to your apartment.
And like, there's a long period of time where W where Wesley Snipes, he escapes in the daylight, we catch
back up with him at night, he's like, all right, here I am going down here. Like, there's
a, everyone just took time off.
Yeah, he jumped into some bushes and they were like, ah, we're not, I'm not getting this
fancy new outfit dirty.
He is dressed like Chris Cross in this movie.
Yeah. He is full blown
Chris Cross and and like for whatever reason, there's like a
demolition man logo on the front of his overalls. I don't know
where he got that, but there you know it was from the it was from
the cryo. Yeah, they all they all got this question. Yeah, that's
not that's not a demolition. Yeah, they have that's like a that's
just something from the prison.
I will say in the Dennis Leary underground
teenage mutant Ninja Turtle sewer world,
why did the lady who made cheeseburgers look like
Frida Kahlo?
Yes, yes.
100%.
She's alive, she's alive,
and she's been living down there,
that's her resistance. Yep, in the future, Frida's alive, and she's been living down there. That's her new resistance.
Yep, in the future, in this version of the future,
Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera live in an underground city.
And it's rat burgers.
Guys, let me just drop some facts on you about this movie,
and I want to hear your reactions to them.
Laurie Petty was originally cast in the role of Sandra Bullock
playing.
Tank girl?
Yes, and after a few days of filming, was fired and role of Sandra Bullock play. Tank girl? Yes, and after a few days of filming was fired
and replaced with Sandra Bullock.
Wow.
Few days, so we don't know.
So we have to get that footage.
It's Eric Stoltz, Marty McFly footage.
I feel like she probably tried to get fired.
Yes, but what the fuck, I'm fucking my dad?
Yeah.
The original movie was written before Stephen Segal
and John Claude Van Damme.
Amazing.
Van Damme was offered the role of the bad guy,
but didn't want that role.
He agreed to start it if both lead roles could be switched,
but Segal was like, well, I don't wanna play the bad guy.
So then that movie was scrapped.
Here's two other facts that are interesting. Jackie Chan was supposed to be was a snipe, but Jackie
Chan said he didn't want to play a bad guy because Asian audiences don't like
good guys who become bad guys and then he is name checked in it. Yes, because
Sandra Bullock big Jackie Chan fan. Oh, interesting European version. He says
Bruce Lee. He says he's not Jackie Chan. Oh, interesting. Here are two other
things. These are all like amazing facts. Wesley Snipes kicks and punches look
lurchy and awkward because he's such a good karate guy in real life that his
punches were so fast that it blurred in the camera. Oh my God. So they made him
that his punches were so fast that it blurred in the camera. Oh my God.
So they made him slow it down.
So it looks weird.
That's amazing.
And in Kuwait, the movie was simply called Rambo the Destroyer.
Right.
Rambo, Rambo also name checked in this movie.
Yes.
Whereas the Snipes gets guns and is like, thanks Rambo, or something like that. And then Luke Skywalker is also name checked in this movie. Whereas the Snipes gets guns and is like thanks Rambo
or something like that.
And then Luke Skywalker is also name checked in this movie.
There's a lot of pop culture references
from the 1980s in 2032.
Also I am wondering if in the Expendables movies,
Sylvester Stallone wears a beret.
And I'm wondering if he just took the beret from
Demolition Man, or if this is some kind of a nod
to all the guys and gals who went to Democon.
And where does that beret come from?
When he gets up and talks, we're not wearing berets.
No, it was in his box.
He had a box of stuff.
Right, with yarn.
Yes. Wait, remember when he knit a sweater?
Remember when in one night, Sylvester Stallone,
knit a red sweater?
And by the way, he knit an entire sweater
out of like one ball of yarn.
Yeah.
That's how good the rehabilitation program was. entire sweater out of like one ball of yarn. Yeah. Yeah.
That's how good the rehabilitation program was.
I really thought that that was going to be
like fully realized and that was gonna be like
paid off in a wonderful way.
The final sequence.
I wanna learn to knit now just so I can start an Etsy shop
called John Spartan.
John Spartan.
John Spartan.
Sweaters for my daughter wife.
I wanted, before we go on to the audience,
because I'm sure you guys have some things we might have missed,
I do want to play a scene that Jason,
which said that we should definitely play it. I agree with that.
I'm going to pee while we do this because it's too sexy for me to do that.
So obviously it was a snipe from the way he dressed.
It's pretty hip-hop.
So they went to score the fight scene with a little bit of hip-hop here.
Let's have some record.
So let's do the record scratches during this fight.
And here we go. So listen to the record scratches during this fight. I'm gonna go, I wanna wait. Stay here.
Stupid.
I love the thing, whoever made that turn is like, what the, what the, what the, what the thing?
It's like old like Casio Piano that you can buy.
Yeah, and then you never hear it for the rest of the movie. Never hear it, never hear it. It's like old like Casio Piano that you bought. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo And then another person like, but we don't have the budget to have them re-score the whole, but just let them do the next song.
That's your song, get out.
Cause even at the very end, like when he's hanging,
when Stallone's hanging from the grabber thing,
the music there is like weirdly like,
orchestral, but like fast
and kind of circusy?
I feel like they, no one really knew what was going on
but they were psyched that it was happening.
Like I, I, I, we're doing something.
The best in this sequence though is when they cut back
to everyone in the police station who's watching violence,
I guess for the first time.
I mean, that's what I think that scene is about. All right, like they've never seen it.
But like, so my question is they've never seen movies,
they've never seen...
Well, she's a 90s aficionado,
she's not seen some Stallone films.
Right, I mean, no, she just has the poster
for Lethal Weapon 3.
Well, and Rambo is talked about, so...
Did you use the 3 C-shells in there? What's that? Did you use the 3 C-shells? posted for lethal weapon three and Rambo is talked about so Rambo exist.
Three seashells.
What's that?
Did you use the three seashells?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I used to see.
But that also brings up a good point.
There's a moment where like when the warden is killed and they're like,
bring him up on screen.
They show him dying and they're all just like, huh?
Yeah, that's a shame.
Yeah, it's a bummer.
They didn't call for help back up there.
This is watching bleed out.
Okay.
Also in 2036, I just want to, I just have to say 2036, I think there's only two women
on the police force.
Yeah.
Like really, we like this Benjamin Bratt too, and he's kind of a lady.
Like, they really built it. like really we like this Benjamin Bratt to and he's kind of a lady like they
really built the slurry or gay like the end of the movie like they're doing
there and they're like side by side he's like fuck it and then there's like
high five and they like there's a moment between the two of them. Yeah,
because he like gets dread like they change his clothes they give him a
makeover and rip the sleeves off his outfit and put a vest on him. No sleeves.
Yeah, they put a vest like good. yeah, you're one of us now.
Wear this vest.
There are obviously some things that we missed
and that's why we go out to you, the audience.
If you have questions, things that we might have missed,
things you wanna inform us about,
oh my gosh, this guy has a question.
All right, your name, your favorite scene of the movie
and your question, oh, he wrote it down on his iPad.
Here we go.
You mean on his fiber op? op. Read your fiber op.
My name is Chris.
You thought way too long.
I know.
Well, he was reading.
Like he was reading as he said it.
My name is Chris.
What I was actually thinking about is my favorite scene in the movie
because there's so many great ones.
I think it's the blood sugar sex magic,
we go up in three,
framing up a Santa Bullock's office.
I just wanted to bring up that the director of this movie,
which I had to look up
because I was like, where did this come from?
I just want to read the first line of his Wikipedia.
Marco Van Briella is a New York based video
collage and installation artist, known for his elaborate recontextualizations of popular
and found industry, which Vanity Fair praises as critiques and masterpieces of visual overload. That's awesome. Well, that's awesome. That lines up.
That lines up.
That's awesome.
It sounds like the guy that I want directing demolition,
man.
And by the way, this movie is not poorly directed.
Are you sure about that?
I agree.
I agree with you.
But I mean, in the grand scheme of the room.
Are you sure about that?
I mean, in that don't you see that
sexing? Yeah you're right that's a pretty great video installation. Alright your name, your
favorite thing that Simon Phoenix did in your question here we go. My name is Tom favorite
thing that Simon Phoenix did was actually the opening fight sequence when he
just goes crazy to hip-hop music. And my question is, it's more of an explanation,
hope, but...
Nice reference.
This guy gets it. This guy gets it.
I was wondering, the entire building does get blown up
in the opening scene, right?
So how do they find 20 bodies in a matter of seconds?
Very good point.
Very good point.
I think it's left out to the front, maybe.
There is in the front of the building.
Maybe the explosion.
I think Phoenix must, here's what I think.
I think Phoenix must have killed them
by lighting them on fire or something.
Because otherwise-
I think they put him in a dumpster
and they were going through the dumpster.
No, he froze, well he said he froze them
so that way because Stallone early on is like,
I did a thermoscan and there was only eight people
in that giant building.
And he says the reason you didn't know
is because they were dead already.
When he froze them, he froze them so that they wouldn't
show up on a thermos scan.
The cops in Los Angeles thought that Stallone
froze these people to death?
No, no, no.
That's what Simon Phoenix did.
They thought the explosion, they thought that he was a cowboy
and went in and just with reckless abandon
caused the death of these 20 hostages.
And what they didn't know is that
Simon Phoenix had already killed and frozen the hostages.
To frame John, oh, I'm dying.
I'm fucking dying.
This is our lives.
We try and make sense of this for you.
But...
I'm looking for ladies, there's no ladies for me.
But here's the last question about that.
So the cops found them frozen, though.
The cops found the bodies frozen.
No, no, because the fire, the fire, they've got flash drive.
They really did just take Phoenix's word for it,
that they were just.
Yes, yes.
That's the injustice that I was complaining about.
Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right.
This is the kind of world I don't want to live in,
like, today.
Okay.
Your name, what you would say to Simon Phoenix
at his trial, and your question?
You're a maniac.
Good.
Your name.
Is your name?
Okay, now what would you say to Simon Phoenix
at his trial?
That's two good questions. Number one, if they're trying to underplay the sexuality so much in this society, why did that girl
like new dial Stallone?
Yeah, that's it.
That was strange.
And who did she think she was dialing? Like what was that?
Yeah, the quick question was, doesn't the liquid styrofoam for fresh cars
seems so much like more inefficient
and slower than airbags?
When that slipped.
Oh yeah.
I actually thought that that safety foam.
I thought that that foam was a great idea though,
because the foam protects the entire car.
Like there's, to me there's no way
if you have a car that produces that foam
that you could ever die in a car crash Where is what you would die in some vacation?
It is filling the cabin with something that goes from soft to hard
So you would be killed
Goes from soft to hard
Just like John Spartan, like, bokeh and... It protects you inside of it.
It protects you inside of it,
and then someone has to chisel you out.
Yeah, because you're dead.
No, you're not dead.
Because you're dead, then.
I did think that the naked girl was interesting.
That's like very good.
The naked, like, there is,
like, this is like the first like,
sexting here's naked picture kind of scenario.
And it, cause it's a phone call up here,
and there's a naked woman, and she's like,
hey, do you want to, oops, wrong number.
But it's like the era where like naked women in movies
like started like, went on a decline a little bit,
it was sort of like, actually like,
so like, I just put some tits in there,
like that would be a fun scene, right?
Because like, it was like so gratuitous,
and even like, there's no, like they should just,
I had no problem with that scene.
Your name, why do you think John Spartan is a hero in your question?
My name is Mallory.
Mallory.
It's a family ties quote guys.
RIP David Goldberg.
Great Scott Valentine reference.
Thank you.
I think John Spartan was a hero because he didn't let anything stop him.
Great. I like that.
And I guess my question is that scene where he's in the museum and he's kicking the glass.
And then I guess the museum guard sees him.
And I guess I'm wondering how socially stunted are they that they can't, like he's breaking into the thing.
He's like, oh, do you need help?
And then he's like, oh, how much do you weigh?
And just chucks him.
And you know.
This movie posits that 30 years in the future,
we would forget 30 years ago.
So that would be fine.
Yeah, right, yeah.
We have no recollection of, what would that be?
Like the eight, 77.
Yeah.
So we'd be like, yeah, I don't know what happened
in the 77.
I don't know.
Unless that earthquake killed most people.
I don't think it did.
And then lobotomized everybody else.
And just, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
information's leaving my brain.
It's one thing to be like, we don't have crime.
It's another thing to be like, what is crime? crime. It's another thing to be like, what is crime?
Yeah.
You know?
Like that's a tough, that's a tough sell.
Especially for people that are in their 20s,
which means that they were born 10 years after this.
So it's not like.
Well, like his cop friend, his cop friend
who was flying the helicopter at the beginning of the movie.
Like nobody ever thought to be like,
hey man, you lived through this, you were a cop then.
This like, you don't remember what a one eight seven is?
Yeah, why can't he be like, oh no, that's a murder.
Right.
Death kill.
As you guys know it now.
And then they'd be like, shut up, man.
Just keep working on your little miniatures.
That's my third wire.
That's my third wire.
He's left their free.
Yeah.
By the way, Wyatt and I were talking about this.
I love that guy because in the young version of him was
Agent Johnson from Y hard, which is just, you know, look, I like that.
And I like that he's flying helicopters in both movies.
He has a very, he has a niche.
The problem is the actor who's the older version of him
is like a foot and a half taller
than the actor playing the younger version of him.
Well, after the earthquake, we all grew.
Oh, everybody gets longer.
Yeah.
Your question, your name,
what favorite piece of future tech in your question? name, what favorite piece of future tech in your question?
My favorite piece of future tech has to be Taco Bell being every restaurant ever. My question or my
point is you guys left out the part of the movie actually we have a closet and take a break and come
back and that is like we'll greet each other in the future.
Be well.
Right.
They put their hands close and they do a little circle.
Yeah, they go like that.
And then, yeah.
It's very weird.
It's very karate kid wax on, wax off.
Although, you know what?
If we all did that, we'd put that damn Purell family out of business.
Well, that's the thing is, they also don't high five.
They come close to high five.
They are like, yeah. They really don yeah yeah yeah physical contact with each other no no sex is outlawed
because of the swapping of fluids yeah which we all understand to be disgusting
who has a good question double hand raise you have a good question holy shit
what is going on what is every everyone's raising their hands? Your name...
You okay?
Okay.
Your name, what you would call the first movie that leads into Demolition Man, and your
question?
Alright, the movie that leads you into Demolition Man is probably White Man Can't Jump.
Alright, I like that theory.
That's a trilogy, and then after that, it's Major League.
And then Major League 2 is pretty much happening at the same time as...
Wait, so you're saying white man can't jump close to the Major League 1, Major League 2, and then demolition man?
Basically, it's happening while demolition man is going on.
Alright, we're off the track. Here we go, question.
So, Mike, well, it's more of a point leading in, okay, so the start, there's the fire going on,
and then West 6th Lamp says, is it me or is it Hot in here?
Or it's getting cold in here and it throws the thing on, yeah, the gas, but at the end,
it's all frozen and cold, and then, so it's going on the side, is it me or is it cold in here?
And then that just pisses off West 6th Lamp it's kind of like there's going first full circle.
And like...
Well there is, there actually is...
The first scene is the parallel of the last scene.
There's another parallel about that
because Wesley Snipes says something in the beginning
about taking my head off.
Like he's like, something, something.
If you take my head off and Stallone's like,
Stallone's like, oh, keep that in mind.
And then in the end, he takes his head off.
He kept it in mind for 37 years or whatever.
Well, he had a lot of time to think while he was alive
in that block of ice.
Yeah.
People go insane in solitary confinement.
People go insane.
Yeah, he's-
For 37 years, he's been awake and comes out and is like let's get the work.
And a one-point ask to be put in a moment of frustration says put me back in the fridge.
Yes. Alright here we go. Not even the freezer, just the fridge. The fridge.
He wants a lesser sentence. Okay. Question, comment, name, here you go.
My name is Merlenni's and I'm not very good with names
of cars but there's one scene where they're on the ground
and they had this awesome red car.
Like how is these poor people had this awesome car
and how they had it down there and then how did that
How did they get it down there?
And it's like, I don't even remember.
That's my question.
It's amazing question that basically the mole people
had an elevator underneath a Chevy dealership
that just in case they needed to stay.
Yeah, because they see them go down there a number of times
and the only way it seems to get down,
they seem to be able to get down is through like a sewer.
Manhole covers cover. Right.
But also with that,
like Wesley Snipes runs away and Stallone,
rather than give chase is like,
wait, hold on a second, can you start that elevator up?
Because I really wanna drive that GTO right now.
Like I know I need to stop this terrorist
that's like trying to kill me and everybody,
but I want to give this thing a test drive.
Is that cool Dennis Leary?
I know I'm supposed to be protecting you,
but is it all right if I,
like I know I'm gonna catch him, he's on foot.
There's no way, I'm just,
just let me put the car in the elevator.
Hey, move past de la Huerta, move your fucking burger shop
so I can drive in there.
Did anybody else think it was weird
that the Dennis Leary people, the underground dwellers,
their way of checking in on the real world
is to have like a periscope that pops out of the ground?
Yeah, yeah.
And that twice Sylvester Stallone sees it randomly and is like, hey, what is that thing?
And everybody else is like, what are you talking about?
And he's like, oh, I guess it was nothing.
He's a groundhog, and in 1996, he was a great groundhog hunter.
And I was gonna say, this is my favorite part.
And when he goes underground for the first time,
Sylvester Stallone lifts up the sewer grate,
and he goes, smells like biscuits and gravy.
Yep.
Yeah.
No, it doesn't.
It shouldn't.
No, it doesn't.
If it does, then that's a beautiful place to live,
but does not seem like a match.
Especially because then he manages to find a hamburger,
which he's been craving forever.
Uh-oh.
Nick Kroger.
Which, yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! which he's been craving forever. Uh-oh. Nick Kroll just got up. Richard, yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Y'all done with show?
We're up!
Everybody text Nick Kroll,
no, we're not done with the show, asshole.
Very close, very close, we're not yet.
Um, he eats a hamburger,
turns out it's made of rat meat.
But you know what, it's still pretty good.
Still pretty good.
He doesn't mind it.
Here he goes.
This is your final question.
A lot of pressure on you to bring it home.
No!
We've got to get to Nick Crowley.
Guys!
Nick Crowley, yo!
We've got to go, guys.
All right, here we go.
Your name, what you would say to Sylvester Stallone
when he was on trial?
Any question?
My name is John.
I'd say it's not your fault.
Good answer.
And my question is, could you guys just briefly talk about
how Sandra Bullock tries to say like these 90s phrases
but says them wrong?
Oh.
At a certain time.
What's there to say?
After Simon Phoenix in a hall,
it says I'm going to go down there, I'm gonna blow them.
Yeah.
There's a, but I wrote down a bunch of those,
they're all terrible.
Again, like, again, no, no language,
like language is not devolved.
No.
Like I'm gonna blow him, I'm gonna blow him.
She says, at one point she says,
it looks like you've meet your match.
What? And she says, take this job and shovel it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like there is-
If you saw with a weapon, she would know that those are wrong statements.
To anyone who is like over 45 in that society, they would know those phrases.
Sure.
Yeah.
Like you-
They have jingles from our time.
Right, yeah.
Why don't they have like a book of phrases from our time?
Also, why don't they have the music from our time?
They clearly have the movie posters.
They have posters for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but not...
But no music.
Yeah.
Was that the end?
Like, oh, that's...
Music can't get any better.
Let's shut it down.
Shut down the studios, everybody.
We're not listening to music anymore, just jingles.
Old jingles too.
Like jingles from like the 40s jingles.
Yeah, not jingles from our time.
No, like oldies is for them from the 40s,
but just jingles, not songs.
But not the, yeah, and not like the good ones,
like by Menon.
Yeah, yeah.
Like that's great, solid.
And if you wanna watch some deleted scenes
of Dan Cortes singing by Menon, you can see it.
Obviously we had opinions about this movie,
but they're not shared by everyone.
Now it is time for a second opinion.
These are five star reviews,
called from amazon.com. People who felt very strongly about it.
There's some good ones in here.
This one's from JTS titled,
The Beauty and the Syrocop.
I think she means like, well, I'm okay, Syrocop is not right.
This isn't all caps.
Cryo? Does she mean cryo?
I think she means cryo.
It's about the Syro though.
So the story is always a constant in these Amazon reviews.
Here we go.
All caps.
Sandra's sweet innocent takes the edge off this tough guy film.
She is to Spartan what Adrian, it's felt like Alderaan, was to Rocky.
The special effects are great. Some of the dialogue lags at times,
but the strings of the characters carry this one through.
Check out the end.
Wow.
All right, Sandra Bullock wrote that review.
Sandra Bullock wrote that.
I own this title and have seen it six times.
It's title.
Worthless sequel?
I think so.
Good fare.
Do you think any of the people who listen to our podcast, when they hear about the movie, go and write five-star reviews,
hoping that they might get picked?
I never take anything that's written past like 2009.
Well done.
So that is a good one. It's a nice dry ass holes.
I really like this movie.
A good thing about it is there is profanity,
but they don't abuse it like they do in pulp fiction.
And that movie they say the airport so many times
it loses its meaning.
Also, Snipes is pretty funny at times throughout the film.
Five stars.
Okay, this is my, I think this goes up in the pantheon
of like favorite Amazon reviews
because it really takes a turn.
From Geek Mom, this is my most favorite movie ever.
There are so many quotes in this movie that are relevant today to today's society it's a great action flick with
some of my most favorite actors and the crazy humor in it makes looking at what
we're going through today almost laughable I wish more people had seen it
and then they'll understand with what's wrong with today's Congress and then they'll understand what's wrong with today's Congress. And why they need to stop voting for progressives.
ASAP.
This is the kind of world we'd be forced to live in
if the progressives continued to thrive.
Nothing would be legal in government
with moderate pay for everything you do.
Truly frightening.
By a star.
Here, I will say,
I will say watching this movie, there was something about it that felt like,
oh yeah, if you listen to Glenn Beck,
like Glenn Beck would love this movie as like,
oh this is the dystopian future that like, liberals want,
because, oh, everyone wears
the same outfits and there's only one restaurant.
Like, you get, like, there's no money anymore.
And...
I agree with that, but what we came from in 96
was so terrible.
Right.
And in 96, that was Clinton.
Right.
That was, that was like, oh, Clinton caused Hollywood to catch fire.
And then.
No planes to land in LAX anymore.
No commercial airliner.
Yeah.
Like they were all like, everything about the movie
seemed like a liberal complaint.
Like it sucks now that Clinton's president,
everything's on fire.
And then it only gets worse.
We can't curse no more.
This movie asked a lot of questions
and did not do a lot of answers.
I feel like, Gatoban, would you recommend seeing it?
I know I would.
Yes, recommend.
Strong recommend.
Yeah, I mean, if the choice is that or like winter's bone.
Demolition, man. Demolition. Even though Sandra Boe is gonna get a winter's bone. Ha ha! Because? Demolition man.
Demolition man.
Even though Sandra Boe is gonna get a winter bone, right?
Yeah.
With that John Spartan, I stick.
And by that we mean her father's penis in her body.
Also, also Sting did the theme song.
Oh my God, you're right about that.
And I wonder if Sting asked, like, they were like,
hey Sting, you know, Central Bullocks characters
like in the 90s things, we're thinking about
putting up a poster of you.
No, it's all right, don't do it, don't fucking.
We really want to probably feature 10 Sumner's Tales.
Nope, that's fine, that's cool, I'll get you it away.
Hey, here's a Red Hot Chili Peppers poster.
You sure it's Soul Cages? You don't want us to put Soul Cages up? I'm fine, I'm cool, I'll get you it away. Hey, here's a red hot chili pepper sauce. You sure it's soul cages?
You don't want us to put soul cages up?
No, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I'm gonna keep you having tantric sex with my wife.
You cannot put any of my movies in.
Really, you sure? No soul cages?
Absolutely not.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.
I saw that tour, guys.
Saw that tour.
Just saying.
Do you think he does the theme song in concert?
Like, I kind of...
That's the encore is lit. No, wait a second. Can somebody settle something? I think he does the theme song and concert. I got kind of the on course with no way to say can somebody can
somebody settle something?
It did he write it for this or was that a police song?
It is a police song that was appropriated for this.
All right.
Oh, oh, even worse thing.
You did it.
You did it.
You did it the best way you could.
Well, thank you guys so much for coming.
Give a big hand to the White Pack!