How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Fast Five (w/ Adam Scott)
Episode Date: March 27, 2023Fast Five might be a critical success and an “event in cinema” (Vin’s words, not ours) but that doesn’t make it immune to criticism. Paul, June, Jason, and Adam Scott (Severance, Party Down) d...iscuss the prison bus flip sequence, the chase scene ending with a pregnancy reveal, and all the chronological confusion that lies beneath an otherwise incredible action flick. If you haven’t seen Fast Five yet, stay until after the credits for a surprise cameo (no, not Perd Hapley). (Originally released 05/15/2011) For more Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/c/PaulScheerGo to www.hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, and more.Follow Paul on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: https://discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (https://www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: listen.earwolf.com/deepdiveSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, people of Earth. This is Paul Shearer and you are listening to How Did This Get
Made. I am joined as always by my two co-hosts, Jason Manzuchus and June Diane Rayfield. How
are you both?
Good.
Not too bad.
Fresh from a screening of Fast Five.
Fast Five, amazing. We have a special guest talking about Fast Five this week. You know
him from many things. You can IMDB him if you'd like, but Adam Scott is with us right
here today. Adam Scott, look at him. It's awesome and this is exciting. I was very excited
to see this movie with you, Adam, and all of you. I was actually legitimately excited
to see this movie.
Yeah, me too.
And it paid off. Big time.
Yeah.
100%.
It has a 79% on Rotten Tomatoes, so it's a hit. Like, it's a bona fide hit. Like, Roger
Ebert liked it. The Wall Street Journal liked it. The New York Times liked it.
Oh, that's great.
People love this movie.
Everybody loves it. It's made like $90 million or something, and we were just at a screening
like midday that was packed. I love it.
So did you go today?
We just came from, oh my God.
So you're still on that.
We're at Fast Five Energy.
Oh, guys, I'm still, like, punching the, like, neon blue button so that I may overdrive.
I got it. I got it.
First of all, if you haven't seen the movie, stop this right now. Go and see it because
it will blow your mind. It's insane, and you have to stay for the post-credits sequence.
Oh, no!
You didn't say for the post-credits.
You didn't say for the post-credits.
Nobody told us!
What?
That's the best part?
What happened?
Oh, stop. We got to stop the podcast.
Let's talk about it a little bit. I'll get into it. I'll tell you guys. So make sure
you have to watch the whole animation sequence and then add the animation.
Oh, shit!
There's a special guest. There's a special surprise.
It's Samuel Jackson.
Is it Thor?
They find the Thor's hammer at the end.
It is. It is. It's great. Well, I will just tell you. We'll just jump in right here.
It opens up on the rock, and he's doing some late-night work in the office.
Wait, do you mean Dwayne Johnson?
Yes.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure.
Of course.
So the rock is doing some work in the office and in comes Eva Mendes reprising her character
from too fast, too furious. And she was like, and then she goes, we got something for you.
And he goes, it's not about Dominic Toretto. I'm not interested.
Which leads you to believe that that's the only case that he's working.
And she goes, I think this will get your interest.
And she throws down a file folder.
She goes, bunch of, you know, train hijackers or whatever the fuck they do. Who cares?
And he goes, and this is their leader and reveal Michelle Rodriguez.
No.
Who died in the movie before.
Impossible.
Fast six.
Okay, wait. So you're telling me that after the credit sequence, we find the rock or Dwayne Johnson.
Yes.
Working on this case.
Working on just trying to find leads.
This is infuriating to me because after that, maybe what you, because this is the end of the movie.
Yes, it is.
The thing that infuriates me is after the final sequence, everything's blown up, blown to shit.
He lets them go.
Yes.
Well, for 24 hours.
For 24 hours.
For 24 hours.
For 24 hours.
For 24 hours.
Because they saved his life.
He gives them a head start.
Jesus.
Okay, so he's just saying, he's, this is what he's saying.
I am willing to put up with another at the very least two years of paperwork.
Yes.
Of being on, just get, not to mention taking shit from my boss because I let you go.
Yeah.
After my entire team is assassinated.
Right.
So now he's, he's obsessed with.
After explaining to all the families of my dead men.
Right.
That the people that are responsible for it got away because I let them.
Well, first of all.
Ridiculous.
He is not a good guy.
Well, we should, we'll start from the top.
That's how it obviously ends.
The fast five guys get away.
Spoiler alert.
But let's start from the top.
First of all, my first thought on this movie is, I guess Dominic Toretto is going to jail.
Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel.
Because at the end of fast, fast and furious, he just goes like Paul Walker's like, Hey man,
you got to get out of here.
You got to go.
And he goes, I'm tired of running.
So he's tired of running.
Is that what happens at the end?
So he just volunteers to go to jail.
Yes.
If this is this bad, I shouldn't admit this.
I've never seen one of these movies.
This is the first one.
I've seen the first one 10 years ago.
I saw the first one and I saw the fourth one in D box seats, which if you've never seen
a movie in D box, you got the fast five is in D box.
The seat moves like you're in a car.
It's amazing.
But I can tell you that I actually looked at fast and furious.
And I was like, Oh, all those characters were in that movie.
I have no recollection of what happened in fast furious, not fast five.
So you didn't miss anything.
Okay, good.
But wait a second.
So there's fast and furious.
Then there's too fast, too furious.
Then Tokyo Drift.
Which this is a prequel to Tokyo Drift fast five.
That's what I heard.
Yes.
What?
Yes.
Fast five is a pre all the movies are prequel.
So they already have a baby in Paul Walker and his girlfriend have a baby.
They're not in.
Wait, does Tokyo Drift?
Does Tokyo Drift take place in the year 2035?
How many prequels are they going to have?
Because it's all a prequel.
At what point will the cars in the prequels be more advanced than the cars in Tokyo Drift?
This is like Star Wars.
They're creating a franchise like Star Wars, where the future films will be less technically
advanced.
Or isn't Temple of Doom technically a prequel to Raiders of the Lost Ark?
Yes, it is.
Which is totally fucking ridiculous.
But because they didn't want Indiana Jones to be cheating on Marion.
Right.
Oh, wow.
But yeah, so this is a prequel.
But we all know he did.
Yeah, he did.
Indy was a fucking whore.
Getting it on all the time.
Just out of control.
Why do you think he had that wig?
Well, I want to talk about why the news footage that you watched at the beginning of the movie
is staticky.
Like, it's like, oh, prisoner escaped today.
And all the news footage is staticky as if it's not coming in on a television.
Did you notice Perd Hapley?
Perd Hapley.
Yeah.
Who's Perd Hapley?
He's one of the first speaking roles of this movie is Perd Hapley from Parks and Rec.
The guy, I don't know the actor's name, but he plays the character Perd Hapley, who's the
local TV news anchor.
Oh, yeah, right.
He's the talking man.
He's totally amazing.
I just love, though, that we were supposed to believe the whole movie that these guys
are not bad guys because they weren't really responsible for these agents dying on the train.
That was like the moral barometer of the movie.
Well, you kind of were responsible for it.
But, totally.
They have to legitimately be responsible for the hundreds of deaths of civilians.
Oh, yeah.
During the vault sequence.
Oh, how many?
During the vault sequence.
Oh, how many?
Good lord.
But even like they cause multiple massive car pile ups.
Yeah.
That people must die.
No.
People are dying all over the place.
I mean, they try to make it safe because in the beginning when the bus, a prison bus,
flips over like six times.
Yeah.
And everyone on that bus was killed.
Like there's, you know, it flipped like 19 times.
And they go, and they go, no one on the bus was injured.
Really?
Yeah.
It flipped over.
It rolled down the expressway at a violent pace.
The bus filled with prisoners.
All changed.
None of which, none of which are wearing seat belts.
Yeah.
Like I've never seen a bus in a movie flipped so many times.
Oh, I was shocked because I, when that happened, was like, oh wow, they're going to start this
movie by killing Vin Diesel in this bus crash.
Right.
There's no other way.
Everybody just walks away.
It's like a fucking A-team spot.
Not, not only does Vin Diesel escape, but unscathed and uninjured.
And anyway, he's totally fine.
It was really disturbing too when they cut back during the vault sequence and said, what's
her name?
Dredana.
Brewster.
Brewster.
And she's laughing about how they just took out a bank.
Yeah.
It's like people were in there.
Right.
I want them to go to jail.
People were there.
This movie, I want them to get caught.
Reprehensible.
They're horrible.
If you're wondering what the plot of the movie is, we'll play this little clip.
This will maybe help you get on the same page.
I doubt it.
Listen up.
The men were after professional runners.
They liked speed and guaranteed to go down the hardest possible way.
So make sure you got your funderware on.
We find them.
We take them as a team and we bring them back.
And above all else, we don't ever, ever let them get in the cars.
That's right.
Granted, 10 hours old and counting men.
Let's go hunting.
Is all of this really necessary to apprehend two men?
Let me tell you something about these two men.
One's a former federal officer, been in deep cover for five years,
knows everywhere you're going to come for me.
The other one's a professional criminal, escaped prison twice,
spent half his life on the run, avoiding folks like you.
Well, if there is anything we can do to help, there are these things.
Two things.
One, I need a translator.
Well, I don't have that in the public register.
Elena Nieves.
I've heard of this.
You heard me.
But why?
We have many more experienced people.
I'm not going to smile.
What's the second thing?
Stay out of my way.
Now in the movie, he does the best line, which is,
stay the fuck out of my way, which I don't think I've ever heard the rock curse.
But the rock is sent down to Rio to apprehend the Fast and the Furious guys.
And the Fast and the Furious guys are planning to rob $110 million from a drug lord.
For what reason?
I don't even really know.
Jesus, who knows?
Well, the drug lord puts all of his money in one gigantic safe,
and they are going to steal that safe.
And the other thing too is they spend, they must, how much money do you think they spend?
Because the whole thing is, you know,
They're broke!
Bullockers!
And what's their face?
They're pregnant.
So they want out of this life.
They're done with this crazy life of running.
I guess they have unprotected sex, not smart guys.
They have unprotected sex, and they love rice.
They're eating that rice.
They're so hungry.
Let's talk about how the pregnancy was revealed.
Because there is an enormous chase on foot through a shanty town.
Yes.
Dwayne Johnson, Dwayne Johnson is chasing Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster.
Yes.
The Rebels are chasing both the rock and the Paul Walker contingent.
That got confusing.
And they're just, I mean, it's insane.
And it's a very well-crafted action sequence.
It's a great sequence.
It's awesome.
But it ends with Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster jumping,
like, a 20-foot drop through a metal, um,
a patched roof.
Yes.
Landing.
And for some reason, everyone's dead except for them,
so everything's cool.
And that's when...
Well, no.
They jump through that roof.
They land in the building,
and all the guys with the guns run up,
and they go, ah, we lost them.
Yeah.
Really?
You just run over 40 roofs.
You literally jump everywhere.
They literally do a sequence of things that one would do
in order to bring on an abortion.
In order to be on a miscarriage.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And they reveal the pregnancy in a sewer tunnel.
Yeah.
Arguably they're standing in sewage at that point,
because they come out of a sewer tunnel,
and it's like, hey, by the way, I'm pregnant.
Yeah.
It's like, no, because Vin Diesel says,
okay, now we got to go do this.
And she's like, oh, I can't do that.
I'm pregnant.
Yeah.
And this entire insane gun chase,
I was totally cool when I was in the baby spot.
I just don't want to go on the run with you.
The thing that June started to say,
which both of us were like, what the fuck is,
they're so broke they have to take a job stealing cars, right?
Yes.
In Brazil.
But then at some point,
when they assemble the team to rob the drug dealer,
they have enough money to buy a safe,
buy a replica safe of the thing.
Buy cars.
Rent an enormous warehouse.
Buy cars.
Why all these people in?
What?
Why not just use the money for all that?
To live on for the rest of your life.
By the way,
overnight a safe to this obscure place in the world.
Yes.
And whenever anything is questioned,
this is the response.
Well, I had a life before I met you.
Yeah.
Like what?
That's your response.
Like, how'd you get this safe here?
I had a life before you.
Like, well, you worked at FedEx.
Did you work at a safe company?
It's so interesting because it starts as a genuine chase movie,
you know, like robbery slash chase movie.
And then it inexplicably turns into low rent,
Ocean's Eleven.
Oh, totally.
It's Ocean's Eleven with Axe Body Spray.
Yeah.
It's...
Also, how many shots of the Rio statue of that Jesus statue?
Oh, yeah.
Every.
Every two seconds.
We're just flying around that statue.
It looks like a night.
We got it.
We got it.
You're in Rio.
That was the rock so sweaty.
Oh, my God.
He was glistening.
He was oiled up in every scene.
He was dipped in oil before every time.
He was lowered into a vat of oil.
I like the rock.
The rock is amazing.
Should get a supporting nomination for this part.
But he was so sweaty and no one else ever was sweaty.
Was his sweaty.
But I want to talk about his team.
His team was bonkers.
Wait, wait, wait.
He asked for that translator.
So that was just a ruse, right?
He just...
I don't understand.
Who knows?
Because everybody spoke English all the time.
Except for the two guys who don't speak English ever.
The KCF, like, and the Scott Connelly.
They were hilarious.
And also, why...
Just narratively, why introduce her that way?
Where he asks for a specific person in this new country.
Why not just have her...
Wouldn't it be more interesting to introduce a character?
Like, have her come in and meet him,
and he'd be, like, disappointed that it's someone brand...
Yeah, yeah.
You wanted her because she couldn't be bought.
Right, because she's brand new.
That's it.
But how do you get this up?
Because she's avenging her dead husband.
Oh, Jesus.
So she's not going to take pride.
I didn't even know that.
Really?
Remember the...
When he goes to his house?
Yeah, I remember Vin Diesel going to her apartment.
She has a big-ahead shot of herself.
Yes!
She does!
I'm also confused about the girl on the Fast 5 team,
when she goes to seduce somebody to get a handprint,
which, first of all...
I love that part.
They need to get a handprint,
so she decides to get this rich guy to touch her ass,
and then you're going to use her pants...
Yeah, her pants are bathing suit.
But you can't get fingerprints off a fabric.
Paul, yes you can.
Don't worry about it.
Do not worry.
They have technology in this movie,
that if they just sold, they could live forever.
Okay, but my question about the translator is,
why did she pick up that necklace?
And then why was she wearing it in the next couple of scenes?
But wait, where did she...
She was so masculine.
When Vin Diesel rescues her, his necklace falls on the ground.
Oh.
And then he sets it up, and then wears it like a talisman.
I was like, what the fuck is going on with this necklace?
I didn't understand what was going on.
Well, first of all, yeah, the necklace...
I don't understand why the necklace was his power.
It was like, all of a sudden, like,
are we supposed to know that Dom loves this necklace?
I don't know.
I thought maybe it's from one of the other Fasts.
Yeah, I think it's from one of the other movies.
I think it's a dead person's necklace.
Oh, okay.
Did you say, I thought it was from one of the other Fasts?
I sure did.
Okay, I just want to comment on the actor who played the main bad guy,
who we know is bad simply because he tells us in his office.
Yes.
Joaquin De Alameda.
He was a bad guy in Clear and Present Danger.
Yes.
But even back then, I could never get past the fact
that he looks exactly like Phil Hartman.
He was Spanish.
It always seems like it's just Phil Hartman making fun of bad guy actor.
I feel like Phil Hartman played this character on SNL.
Definitely.
It's crazy.
You're so right.
Yeah, that guy is.
Oh, man.
Well, you know, another thing that we know about this movie is obviously,
I've put this together, that Butch Cassidy and Sundance survived their jump
because Vindy Zumpal Walker could survive what was technically like a 200 foot drop.
More.
More.
Off a speeding car, off a cliff, and they both decided to jump out with no parachute.
That was amazing.
That was amazing.
That was amazing.
It was a stunt.
I loved that.
A great sequence.
Incredible.
But then when they surface in the water, there's no like, holy shit.
Yeah, now.
They just continue their conversation.
Not only that, like as if they just did a cannonball.
Like, hey, that was good.
Not only that, when they go and then meet up with Jordana Brewster,
they're not like, you're not going to believe what just happened to us.
Which is what I do every time I met a new person in that movie,
I'd be like, dude, yesterday, I fucking drove off a cliff.
I drove off a cliff and jumped into water.
And I'm fine.
And nothing.
I think I am Jesus Christ.
Nothing hurts me.
Well, that scene was followed by them getting arrested,
and then Vin Diesel being hung by his hands by handcuffs,
which he just broke.
Yeah, no problem.
No problem.
Broke through the handcuffs.
Because he had his necklace on.
Which, by the way, he didn't have his necklace on in that scene.
He did not wear it.
Well, maybe the necklace is kryptonite then.
Oh, god.
He, I think that was just somebody who forgot to put the necklace on.
But he broke through handcuffs with his bare hands.
You're blaming Adam Orger?
How about the Matt Schultz character?
Who is Matt Schultz?
Matt Schultz played the guy from the first movie.
Oh, yes.
He was in Torque, so I know Matt actually.
Matt, in the history of the world, I guess, is Dom's brother, right?
Like, are they really brothers, or are they just like...
No, they were just like close buddies.
Oh, Vince, this is the character named Vince.
Yeah, and when Paul Walker came into the fold in the first movie,
Vince got really jealous and territorial,
and didn't want him to become buddies with him.
Right, and he was like, he's a cop, he's a cop, got it.
So when they're walking up the stairs at the beginning of the movie,
and he asks Paul Walker, he's like,
so what's it like?
And Paul walks like, what do you mean?
He goes, what's it like being on the other side of a wanted poster?
And I was just like, the other...
Oh, okay, that doesn't make any sense.
I also have an idea that they, why, okay, in the movie,
they go to rob this drug dealer, and they're wearing masks,
and then at the end they go, who should we say is robbing us?
And they rip off their masks, and they go, tell them us.
Yeah.
So why wear masks at all?
Yeah, they don't need to even wear masks the entire time.
Like, they have this dramatic reveal that they were going to show their faces to everyone.
Every point.
Every...
Okay, you know, heist movies or robbery movies,
they make such a big deal out of the plan and, you know, the fake outs and all that stuff.
In this movie, I genuinely felt like they didn't have any plan.
No, no.
They were just, like, freestyling it at every moment.
Yes.
They were like, well, let's go and get some cars.
So they go and they have, like, just car porn of just, like,
they get this kind of car and drive it around.
They get that kind of car and drive it around.
They get invisible cars.
And somebody's like, we need to get invisible cars.
And they're like, well, then that's what we'll get.
And then they just go and get police cars.
And I was like, hey, Dildos, why don't you just get police cars from the beginning,
because that's what would be in a police station.
But also, that was the biggest thing.
It's like, Vin Diesel was waiting for that.
They're like, man, the only way we're going to beat these cameras is get invisible cars.
And he's like, oh yeah, okay, we'll get those.
Like, but it was.
It was like, well, then where were you?
They had been testing these cars for what seemed like weeks.
But it was probably hours.
Yeah, but you would expect a movie like this to be really invested in what everyone's part
of the plan is going to be.
Yeah, right.
And then watch it either foiled or like them.
Well, that's the other thing they do.
The other thing they do is they'd be like, we're going to have to assemble a team.
Paul Walker, we're going to have to assemble a team.
And then like big music queue.
And then like, we need a demolitions expert.
And then it's this guy.
We need a talker.
And everybody has their own role.
But then none of them really do their role.
Tyrese is the only one.
They just all do everything.
And Tyrese was terrible at being the talker.
Terrible. Terrible.
Terrible.
I thought Tyrese did a great job in the movie.
First of all, I have a question.
I thought he did.
But he was like, when he was trying to talk his way into something through the glass,
remember?
Yeah.
And he was just like, the guy's like, no, fuck you.
No, absolutely not.
He couldn't win him over because it was a guy.
He couldn't soft talk the girl.
But first of all, he goes into that police precinct.
Everyone in Rio are looking for these people.
Like, that would be impossible to get in.
That's like when Jordana Brewster went to the market.
Yeah.
Hey, dumb dumb.
Don't go to a fucking market.
What are you doing?
I know.
Oh, also, when they finally get the rock on their team, then their next move is just
to bulldozer their way into the cop station.
That was a brand new plan.
The biggest cop in the whole country, the guy running the entire game on your side now,
you're not going to utilize him to get in and maybe finesse your way in to get the city.
No.
He has a special car that can go through cement walls.
Because go through a cement wall.
Okay, but by the way, too, the craziest part about that is after they get ambushed and
they get back in that armored car, there are five drivers in that car that are amazing.
Yeah.
And the translator is driving them to the police.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
Yeah, totally.
Oh, my God.
This is the thing I was going to say before when that guy Matt Schultz says, every been
on the other side of a wanted poster, technically in Fast and Furious, the fourth movie, Paul
Walker is a bad guy, but yet he shows up to Vin Diesel's trial in the beginning of the
movie.
He was implicated in the reason why Vin Diesel is going to jail.
He was running drugs from Mexico to the United States.
I didn't know that.
Well, I'll pop in here and I'll watch.
I'll go to the place where all the law enforcement.
These people have no problem walking into places where law enforcement are at all times.
Everything is open.
Never being disguised.
Yes.
Never trying to be disguised.
Or having like a nighttime police car joyride.
Right.
Well, that's what you wanted to see.
It's Fast Five.
All your characters all racing together for a million dollars.
But it's like usually in movies, if your main characters are criminals, they're fighting
for, they're unjustly accused, they're fighting for justice of some sort.
These people are just assholes who.
They want cash.
Destroy things.
No, they're all killers.
They're just like, I mean, even the Rock, who's a good guy, like at the end, like the
Rock gets on their side because he's going to, you know, he wants revenge too for his
team being killed.
The Rock just goes up and just puts two bullets in that guy's head.
So cold.
Like bam, bam.
But his team wouldn't have been killed had it not been for these other.
Right.
Fast guy.
Right.
Yeah.
Maybe a cool ending if he actually turns and does arrest, he arrests them and then that's
a cliffhank because they're obviously going to have another one.
Exactly.
Or joins.
Well, first of all, the Rock, the Rock fight with Vin Diesel is like Hulk.
It's like two hulks fighting because they're not fighting as much as just throwing each
other through walls.
They literally like throw each other through multiple concrete walls and Vin Diesel at one
point literally the Rock throws his face into a car, it dents the side of the car, then
glasses there.
No, no damage to anyone's face.
No blood is spilled.
People in this movie are brutalized to a degree that would make normal people dead.
Oh, immediately.
And they are unbrewed, uncut.
Like nobody suffers an injury that at all impacts them for the rest of the movie even
remotely.
Yeah.
But at one point, Paul Walker like drives a fucking truck into a moving train.
Yes.
Yes.
At the beginning of the movie, he drives a truck into a moving train, which explodes.
He jumps off onto Vin Diesel's car.
They fly into the ocean and then it's like, who can you believe that also the whole thing,
the whole reason why the bad guys are chasing them is because they have a microchip that
was in a regular GPS of a car that like detailed every drug drop in the country.
But they didn't have that information on the computer that they transferred it from
onto like the dumbest plan of like, it's the dumbest plan of all time.
Like, oh, yes, we'll keep all of our secret information on a microchip in a stolen car.
I did not understand that.
No, no, no.
And I also love that on the train when Jordanna Brewster went into that room that all the
keys to the car were in like a glass, like don't break in case of emergency type of box.
Like why?
I don't even remember that.
I broke into a box and then took out all those keys.
Also, the two, the two guys that they were working with, the two guys from Rio, they're
like, we got to kill, like, don't they literally get in front of the car like, we're going
to kill these guys later, right there.
But they say in Spanish, like two feet away from them.
It's like, oh, we're going to really bet on the fact that they don't speak Spanish.
Right.
Just ultimately just say our plan out loud right away.
Right.
He's like, just wait for my signal.
We're going to fuck these guys over.
If I was Jordanna Brewster, I'd be like, why don't you tell me 10 minutes ago, why now
when we're on the train, I'm about to drive the car off of the moving train on.
What do you want me to do?
Or Paul Walker and Jordanna Brewster are walking to meet Vin Diesel and they see the two DEA
agents just sitting on the train and they don't even bat an eye.
They just walk right on.
They have no idea.
Even the criminals that have no problem going in front of car, they're like, they're supposedly
the mother, as Paul Walker said, we're at the top of the most wanted list.
But I guess no one looks at it because it doesn't make a difference.
We haven't even touched the 15 minute car chase in which the two guys are driving towing
a 10 ton safe behind them.
Oh, it destroys all of Rio.
It destroys.
First of all, two cars that don't look like sure they're muscle cars.
One of them is a Volkswagen, by the way, two Volkswagen Jetties.
One of them is literally a Volkswagen.
They're both the same car because Vin Diesel made a big deal out of the first time I'm
ever driving a car you can actually purchase and we're both driving the same car.
Really?
Yeah.
So like.
Wow.
Crazy product placement.
They pull a safe.
That's safe.
How much did that save?
There's no way.
They would have pulled it like so easily and so fast.
Yeah.
That save had no problem being connected to two moderately speedy cars but it had no torque
on it that they could rip it out.
Not only pull it down the street but have it tear through a bank and go through walls
and windows.
What kind of change?
I mean, it didn't rip off the fender of the car or anything.
Right.
Right.
And they could control it.
They could control it by driving.
It has a weapon.
They could make it like swing, like, oh yeah, exactly, like a weapon into like their enemy's
cars.
Oh, they're really good drivers.
And they're making hairpin curves too, like, oh, let's turn right now.
Now.
What?
No.
I want to play this clip.
This is Vin Diesel talking about him and the rock on screen together, finally.
Not only were Dwayne and I talking about doing something together for years.
Not only...
It gets better.
It gets better.
Is it obvious that there's a fantastical element to taking whatever action heroes you
got on the table in your era, and potentially the two biggest ones, and the two guys that
represent formatibility and put them together.
Oh, wow.
Watch this.
That's fun for any audience member.
But what else?
That's fun for...
That's fun for cinema.
Wow.
That's a big...
The fact that there's that fight scene between Dom and Hobbes is an event in cinema, let
alone just...
Wow.
It's an event in cinema.
It's like when Pacino and De Niro get together in heat.
Yeah.
Wow.
Oh, my gosh.
An event of cinema.
Guys, I mean, I was going to say that that fight scene just seemed, like, gay.
Oh, yeah.
They were like what they thought.
They were just devouring each other.
Oh, but then was that the thing like Vin Diesel kills everybody with a pipe wrench?
Like, that's his weakness because, like, they get into this fight and he's like, he sees
a pipe wrench on the floor and he's like, ah, I'll drop it.
Like, that's how he killed the other guy in the other Fast and Furious movies.
Like, does that hit like...
Ah.
That's his weapon of a show.
Well, I did say to Jason during the movie, has America been asking for these two to face
off?
Like, there's so much weight up to it.
Which movie did he kill someone with a wrench?
The first movie.
That's like his crime.
Like, why he's a bad guy is he killed a bad guy with a wrench.
So there's a wrench sitting next to the rock's head.
It's like, but it's not, it just love it that that's his weakness.
It's like, oh, shit, this wrench, I must bash my head in.
Must murder with a wrench.
I'm more fascinated about what's going on in their personal lives.
Like, now they have their million dollars, they're successful.
She's drinking an enormous pineapple.
I know, it's okay.
She's drinking a coconut.
I was so weird.
I was like, oh, just hanging out on the beach, drinking a full-sized coconut.
I love that choice because it's like, okay, I guess this isn't relaxing enough.
Someone get a coconut in here.
Yeah.
Just stick a straw in it.
We gotta do this.
She's drinking a gigantic coconut and all I could think was, what are Paul Walker and
Jordana Brewster talking about?
Like, what do they have in common at the end of the day?
They're just...
I literally feel like, what are they doing?
I would love it if they just did like four solid minutes of them just being like, meh,
meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.
Like, just like, they don't even know what to do.
And then Vin Diesel comes to visit and, oh man, they have a speech about family.
How about when Vin Diesel and Paul Walker have the monologues about their dads on the
rooftop?
He's like, my dad, oh you've been a parties for everybody.
Me-familia.
Me-familia.
Like, all this shit like about family and these are criminals.
They're bad.
They're bad, dude.
They escape everything all the time.
The thing this movie does is, right at the crucial moment
where some thing needs to happen so people can get away,
they just cut away to them having gotten away.
Yeah, and whenever two dudes need to have a chat,
they're always having a beer near a window
so they can also reflect and look out the window.
And I remember that from the first Fest
in the Furious movie 10 years ago.
I remember thinking like, well, that beer looks pretty good.
I guess I should talk to my buddies always with a beer.
Why don't I do that?
Like, these guys seem to have their shit together.
And they're doing, it must just be a thing that they...
Can I ask you guys a question?
Yeah.
Okay, so when they go to the under the bridge
car racing circuit with Mini John Tutoro, right?
Baby John Tutoro.
Baby John Tutoro.
Don't spin off.
When they get there, am I to presume
that the way they're getting that blue car
and these other cars is that they're winning races?
Yes, but they don't show you those races.
They don't show those races, right?
That's the whole thing about the franchise.
You guys, they had to cut it down to two hours and...
10 minutes.
10 minutes.
I mean, we had to make some tough choices.
I was like, oh, we're about to see some of like,
some old school, like fast and furious drag racing.
You don't get to see it.
Never see it.
They just won, apparently.
Oh, man.
That's DVD guys.
DVD guys.
I just like that wherever they are in the world,
they can find the festival of douchebags under a bridge,
celebrating car, like pink car porn.
I also want to know more about that first drug house
that they robbed where all those women
were just counting money in bras.
And was that because they didn't want...
So they can't steal.
So they can't steal.
Yeah.
It's PG-13.
So even when they kill people violently
in that one scene, you're like, oh, did he just kill them?
Or did he just...
Yeah, right.
Even the squibs weren't red.
Like I saw some guys lying on the ground
and they had like dark brown blood spots on their shirts.
There is a level of Call of Duty Modern Warfare
that is the favelas of Rio.
So it's this movie, all the guys,
I was noticing this, there's a lot of the action sequences
look exactly like the video game
and all of the guns that people carry
are the guns in the game.
Genius.
That's why this movie is genius.
It's literally that movie.
And I know I say literally a lot, guys.
You don't have to write about it on the board.
It is that sequence of the game as this movie.
I was like, this is amazing.
I wanna talk about, we touched on it before,
when the Rock gives them 24 hours to get out of town.
Oh my God.
Now that was before he realizes that they duped him
and they stole all the money.
Cause the Rock was like, hey look, I'm gonna keep the money
but you guys can get out of town.
Then he realizes that they stole all the money
and he smiles like...
He loves it.
He loves it.
He loves it.
He loves it.
They got me.
And then where did those guys go?
Back to the same fucking safe house
that the Rock knows about.
I said that everybody else knows about.
I said that in the movie.
Why would you go back there?
Exactly.
Let's meet up at the one place that everyone knows
that's where we are.
For the first half of the movie, everywhere they go,
they're like, we've been burned.
We gotta get out of here.
And they're always moving, always moving.
For the second half of the movie,
where more people than ever are looking for them,
they're in an enormous warehouse.
Right.
Like fully...
You're not that bright.
They are the...
They're just not.
They're so dumb,
they're so dumb that those two guys,
the two like the guys that don't speak English,
they take their $10 million each,
go to Rio,
and then bet it on roulette.
On Monaco.
On Monaco.
They go to Monaco and they're betting it.
One bet's on red, one bet's on black.
But they really don't show what they want.
It comes up green.
It comes up green, I'm pretty sure.
Because it's bouncing, the green tile is coming round.
Oh man.
My prediction,
the way that...
Here's the next level of this movie
should be Fast and Furious versus Predators.
That to me would be unbelievable,
because you take the conceit that the Predators
bring them to their Predator Island planet,
just like in the last...
Yeah, which is great.
Dude, we have to do Predators.
That's a great movie.
It's so great.
That movie is the next level.
Wait, is that the one with,
with like Toa for Grey?
And Hadrian Brody?
I heard that's awesome.
Dude, there is a large fish burn scene in that movie
where Lawrence Fish Burn is literally doing
Marlon Brando from Apocalypse Now,
where he's just whispering all of his lines.
And he goes, oh, I'm putting this,
there's some water over there if you'd like some.
That's one of his lines.
Oh man, Predators.
Why have I not seen Predators?
Oh, you guys, I just got it on Netflix.
It's worth it.
It's genius.
Every week we ask our audience to chime in
and help us out and play a little game with us.
You've got mail.
And we asked them last time
to come up with some more titles,
the sequel of Fast and the Furious.
Now, I forgot to print these out,
so I'm gonna have to read them by myself.
But here are some titles of the new Fast and the Furious
movies that people came up with.
Chester said, fastest and furiousist, Cape Town Throwdown,
which I like that.
This one was the one where the Fast and Furious team goes
green, it's called Fast and Furious.
And the six is a G for green.
And it says on the grid, oh, off the grid, off the chain.
And then, let's see what else here.
This one was Fast and Furious, 666.
They died, now they're racing back from hell.
Okay, wait, that's the plot, by the way.
They should, that's a...
Yeah, that's the...
Yo stride angry.
Yo stride angry.
No, that's stride angry.
Oh, it is.
And this one, Fucking Furious, that's Chris Stephan.
Donald Bowman wrote, quick and angry,
we bought a thesaurus, the Fast and the Serious.
I gotta say, they weren't so furious
in this movie to make this movie.
No, they were pretty relaxed.
They seemed pretty well adjusted.
Yeah, they were, well, you know,
they're also trying to keep this rivalry up
between Paul Walker and Vin Diesel.
It's like, all right, you guys have now traveled the world,
your buddies a million times over.
Oh, really?
That was a part of the other Fasts?
Oh, yeah, they don't like each other.
Yeah, I didn't pick up on, I mean...
First of all, see my great friends.
The other F and F's.
The other F and F's.
The other F squareds.
If you wanna talk about even the franchise in general,
like Paul Walker's an undercover cop in the first one.
In the second one, he's a bad guy.
In the fourth one, he's working for the FBI.
And then this one, he's just a straight out criminal.
I would love it if the next movie was literally in 2077.
And it maybe like was them in spaceships and outer space,
like same beats, but just like really take it
to a crazy point.
And since nothing affects them,
of course they wouldn't have aged.
Yes.
They look exactly the same.
This is the one that I think is the best,
the best one of the right ends were from Julian Vargas,
who wrote, the fast and the furor, it's a prequel,
the story of how two Jewish car racers
managed to escape occupied Poland
by winning a Nazi death race.
Now that would be it.
That's a pretty good idea.
Man, this movie was great.
I actually was jealous that you guys were seeing it today.
I wanted to see it again.
It was a blast.
It was great.
I would totally see this movie again.
This is totally worthwhile.
How did this get made movie?
And see it, watch the end for the even Mendez scene.
Even Mendez comes in.
I didn't even realize even Mendez was a bad guy.
She's a bad guy because she's a cop.
But yeah, Michelle Rodriguez.
Are there any blondes in any of the fasts?
That's a really good question.
It is anathema for there to be hot blondes
in these movies, I think.
That's why it's a multicultural movie.
Yeah.
It's different.
No, it's interesting.
$90 million this movie.
Yeah.
In three days.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
And it's 80% on Rotten Tomatoes.
This movie is giant.
I can see why though.
I mean, even though it's insane and nothing happens
in this movie would actually happen,
it's like real stunts.
Yeah.
It's like great stunts.
Well crafted sequences.
So CGI, it's like it doesn't overly use CGI stuff.
I mean, obviously it's there to make those crazy stunts
possible, but it looks good.
It looks like a lot of practical stunt work
with the cars and stuff.
There's one amazing shot.
You can see it in the train scene.
It's just worth watching if you can check it out.
Mendez was driving a car that has a convertible top.
And his whole thing is because he's a bald guy,
you can see his face on other actors really easy.
So you can see one shot is an odd-faced Vin Diesel guy
in the car driving.
So yeah, look for the CGI Vin Diesel face.
Real driving CGI Vin Diesel.
And if you're seeing the movie and you see it,
feel free to just shout out at the theater.
You're at CGI Vin Diesel face.
That's not his face.
I would love it if that became a thing.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode
of How Does It Get Made.
You can always find us on our Facebook page
and our Ear Wolf page.
You can leave us comments, suggestions of movies,
and play along with our games.
You can follow me on Twitter at Paul Shearer.
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Miss June Diane.
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Mr. Adam Scott.
Jason Stoneman.
I'm not on Twitter.
And continue to watch Parks and Rec,
which is just hilarious and amazing.
The season is...
Every episode gets better and better.
Thanks for doing it.
And you're naked in the next one, right?
Yeah, I'm actually naked.
There's five more episodes.
I'm naked in all five.
Wow, fantastic.
And you show your dick.
Yeah, full dick.
NBC for Thursday nights, 9.30 after the office
for the next five weeks.
Full dick.
That's amazing.
That's really cool.
Tune in for that.
All right, check you out later.
Bye-bye.