How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Freejack LIVE! (w/ Jessica St. Clair & Phoebe Robinson)
Episode Date: January 15, 2024Comedian/writer/actress Phoebe Robinson (2 Dope Queens) joins Paul, Jason, and guest co-host Jessica St. Clair to discuss the 1992 science fiction action film Freejack. Recorded live in New York, they... talk about the spiritual switch board, faberge eggs, and the true meaning of “Freejack.” Plus, we get a special 3rd Opinion from June from Montreal! (Originally Released 02/02/2018) UPCOMING TOUR DATES IN: San Francisco, San Diego, the UK, & Ireland! Go to hdtgm.com for tix and info.Pre-Order Paul’s book about his childhood, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, wherever books are soldFor extra Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerHDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Like a Philip K dick story that was deleted
We saw free Jack so you know what that means
We
Is
I'm with been just in the Kelly a maybe see a burlash show with a crow
I take a full speed to hit the hoos control
J-Man big Paul and the beautiful Joe
Gonna take you from the boom of the way to the road
Branded games in street fighter, home to blow off steam
Just a sucker plus the odd life of Timothy Green
Shot in the end on the bird's end, we can't be staying alive
They call it in the bad ass and he's on the line
Cranking 88 minutes cause it cool as ice
Cause a bad jam, Bonnie lookin' kind
Night, Paul and Jo, gettin' literal
Jason is gettin' laid
Jo, let's make a show on the monkey shots
gettin' paid
They judge a bunch of movies while they making the grade
Here's a real question for you
How did this get made?
Hello, people of Earth
And hello, people of New York City!
We are here, and we are so excited to be a town hall
part of the New York Comedy Festival
to talk to you about a very important movie.
Free Jack, it is our future. Why do we pick Free Jack in New York? Well,
because there's no better New York movie than Free Jack. This movie lives and
breathes New York. It's like a Woody Allen movie where New York is a character. New York is free Jack.
Ladies and gentlemen, to talk to me tonight about this movie. My co-host, please welcome Jason Manzookas!
What's up jerks? New York City!
How you feeling?
How's that balcony? That's right.
I tried to make the balcony tops off exclusive, shot down.
They are bottoms off though.
That's the cool thing.
It makes people more comfortable because you can't readily see it.
Jason, Paul, freejack.
Whoo, freejack. Oh, freejack.
I will tell you that seeing this commercial on TV as a child,
I thought I was in store for a race car movie of some kind.
I thought that race car driving was to...
Well, the commercial...
Why?
Neither free nor jack canode's a race car.
Oh, because he's a race car driver.
Yes, I think.
When I was a kid and the commercial,
I didn't see this movie in the theater, thank God.
But when I saw the commercials, it felt like,
he's a race car driver and he's in the future and I was like,
oh, when I was first watching it, I was like,
oh, well, clearly, they're going to use his body
as a race car driver.
No. You thought they were going to turn his, oh, until like race in the fuel as race car driver. No.
You thought they were gonna turn his,
oh, until like race in the fuel?
Oh, yeah.
That's what I assumed at the beginning.
I was like, oh, there must be some sort of future race.
They need him to win.
100%.
100%.
Some sort of master race.
That they're trying to get to for some sort of, I don't know, like, final solution to
a problem.
That stuff both sounds familiar though.
Yeah, this is an interesting movie together.
Is it though?
Is it interesting?
I'm not sure.
I know for a lot of people, you know,
they always say, well, I would love to see Mick Jagger
and Anthony Hopkins, sir, Anthony Hopkins,
share the screen and you finally get that here.
Our guest, co-host, you know her from episodes like
Pluto Nash.
She is fantastically funny and
Amazing actors comedian. Please welcome Jessica St. Claire
Yes
Oh, I kicked. I kicked.
For those of you listening, Jessica just performed a high kick on the level of Jean-Claude
Van Dam.
That's all right.
When earlier when we showed the Jean-Claude Van Dam Buns thing and he was doing the splits,
you said I can do that.
So if you wouldn't mind.
Oh man.
Do not be.
I don't want to make everybody feel bad. They man. Do not be. I don't wanna make everybody feel bad,
they can't do it here.
Also, I don't wanna break my vagina wide open.
That was what would happen.
We did.
Who knows what would come out?
You don't want anything to fall or jump in.
Why would you try to jump in?
I'm not saying me, but I get.
I guarantee one of these weirdos would be like,
fuck it, I'm getting in there.
Ooh, I want to come out like a little baby.
I want Jesse to be my mommy.
And then you would have to take care of the audience.
I'd have to care for it.
For 18 years.
Yeah.
Jessica.
Jessica.
I know that you have strong opinions about movies to take place in the future
Specifically dystopian futures they make you see it
You know you get guys gave me a couple movies to watch this weekend
And I thought one of them's gonna be in the goddamn future and there's gonna be it trash can fires and
People with their boobs out hang it out of windows and
stupid cars and this instance the
dumb haircuts the boobs are all painted which was weird yeah I don't care for
that you know what I don't you know I don't want on my boobs
fucking pain yeah exactly tell it to Mystique I don't like unattract. You know what? I will tell it to Mystique.
Where is she?
Ladies and gentlemen, Mystique.
Yeah.
The actual Mystique, not the actress that played her in the movie.
Just somebody morse until like a blue creature in the front of her.
The actual Raven.
Actual Mystique, doesn't matter.
Let's keep moving.
Today we have a very special guest.
She is amazing, she is an author wrote a book called,
You Can't Touch My Hair and other things I still have to explain.
She is one of the co-hosts of the two Doke Queens podcast.
Also, there's so many white guys podcast.
Please welcome Phoebe Robinson. Welcome Phoebe. Thank you. So excited to have you here.
I pumped.
I should have worn my shapewear.
I didn't prepare for this.
Got a little poof here.
Little food baby.
I, and it's cut out.
I feel like I need to let up.
Let me open it behind the go.
Then what are you bastards trying to crawl in my bed?
Yeah.
One lucky audience member is gonna get to crawl into St. Clair's vagina and live there for one day.
And then we are gonna deliver you tomorrow, like a baby.
Swaddle you, sleep train you.
That's right.
You're like talking about things that like really rich men on the upper east side do.
Like, ooh, I want to be swaddle, I want to be swaddle.
Yep, and sleep trained.
Phoebe, free jack, is this a type of movie that you're interested in or where does this
fall on your scale of movies?
Do you like future movies?
Do you like?
I like future movies, but I was watching this and I was like, this got made so easily.
And we still don't have a Harriet Tubman biopic.
Like, I don't know what we're doing.
Yes.
Yeah.
Where's my own or Roosevelt film?
Right?
Right on now.
This movie was made in 1992, which even seems like, wow,
it feels more 80s than that.
Oh, I am shocked 80s than that.
I am shocked to find that out.
Yeah, that is, I would have put this at like an 84 max.
But I do believe that until 1994, no one asked questions.
Here's a script, okay, we'll make it.
It was, there was no, there was like, yeah,
we're making these shitty movies, it just kind of happened.
Yeah, but I got anxious during the credits
because the names that were being thrown out there,
we're very in Congress, is that the word?
It was Emilio Estabés, okay.
For the time, it worked.
Mighty Ducks, no, yes.
Sure, okay.
I mean, like the breakfast club.
Great, the breakfast, Mick Jagger weird.
Okay, Renee Russo, and then Anthony Hopkins.
Great.
That's fucking weird.
You should have known that that was a bad stew.
Yeah, that's a bad episode of the Love Boat.
I mean, that is,
those people do not go together.
On that, I will disagree.
That is, that might be a great episode of the Love Boat. I would say that is the greatest episode of the love book
I would say it's the greatest episode of fantasy island bad episode of a book
This movie could have been fantasy island
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Let's just sit with this. Let's just enjoy this silence together
So the movie
Was made in 1982 but it takes place in 2009 and
Right out of the gate. I'm like I feel uncomfortable. I don't like a Milio's
Relationship with Renee Russo at all. What? She was so cute. I thought it was cute.
I was like, y'all, she's showing thigh meat.
She's like, into him.
I liked it.
Her bangs are bigger than his head in the first scene.
Yeah.
And her gigantic scrunchy.
Yeah.
And I'm not interested in that mommy relationship.
Yeah.
She's a full head taller than him.
Yeah.
And she's in flats.
Yeah.
And I think at a certain point, he might have come out
of her vagina.
Absolutely.
Well, what I thought was interesting too
was clearly at one point, they did reshoots
and they didn't care to match her hair.
Because in the first part of the movie,
you see her and she's got something going on with these bangs.
And then later on in the same scene,
she's wearing a hat.
And it's almost as if she went to like got her hair done
between Amelia like leaving her
and she're watching him at the track.
But no effort to fix continuity.
Well, then 18 years later she looks exactly the same.
Yeah, yeah. No one.
She's ages.
She meant to have aged 18 years.
Yes.
It's got good genes.
I was into it.
I'm Team Renee Russo all the way.
By the way, I am also, I like Renee Russo.
I didn't think that she was good enough for,
or I didn't think that Amelia was good enough for.
OK. Yeah, I think she's young. Yeah, or I don't think that Amelia was good enough for. Okay.
Yeah, I think she's good.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was fully on board for her being over him.
Yeah.
When he gets to the future,
I feel like she should have been like,
well, I'm in love with a normal person now.
Yeah.
Not the young boy that you still are.
Yeah.
Their relationship in the future is arguably inappropriate.
Yeah.
No, I think it's okay because he's like early 20s.
I just hated when they reunited on the bed and she was like, I'm older now.
And it's like, fuck you.
But like, I think we can all agree.
The idea of like an older woman and a younger man is gross.
And if you reverse it like an older man and a younger woman, you're really cool.
So hot.
Ladies.
But there was a line that he said to her like in that bedroom scene where he was like,
what happened to us?
Oh, the 18 years that you weren't here, that kind of happened to us.
Like he seemingly has no way.
When they are having sex in that scene. Correct me if I'm wrong. One of the things they
flashed to is his car exploding. Was that a flash? So while they're having sex, one and
or both of them are coming while thinking about his death.
That is the only assumption I can make due to that particular bit of visual juxtaposition.
I feel like they were like, we spent so much money blowing up this car, we're going
to cut to it at least eight times.
We got to get our money to it at least eight times. Yeah, half past. Like, we gotta get our money's worth
on the one special effect.
Like, because they cut to it, like even at the end
when he's merging brains with Anthony Hopkins,
they cut to the giant Jack.
Yeah, the giant toy of a Jack.
Like, there is an episode, I'm dating myself and saying
I watch this episode a happy day is one time.
We're like, mork and the fons, like, changed brains.
And the instrumentation in that episode
looked more like futuristic than what was going on.
Oh yeah.
And this movie that took place in 1992.
But like, even in that sequence,
he only flashes to such a small part of his life,
the carcass being a majority of it.
And it's like no images from him being a child.
It was just like, they didn't want to shoot it.
They didn't want to shoot it.
He could only have flashbacks to things we've already seen.
They should have just put a onesie on him,
and I would have bought him as a baby,
because he's so fucking tiny.
Stop explaining your sexual fantasies, too.
Are you saying that a million estimates full size a million?
Should you be in a one-z?
Yes.
And I would buy it as a baby.
I also would have loved it if there was just
a quick shot of Charlie Sheen.
Yes.
Wait a minute.
How did this get me?
How did this get me? Speaking of just things that didn't really work here, I'm going to go out and say that Mick Jagger, not a helmet guy.
I don't make a pull on my helmet.
I love that shirt takeaway from the performance.
The helmet's not right, but everything else great.
The performance was that the helmet was on.
It was reminiscent of when Mike DuCoccus wore a helmet on that tank.
No.
Because it's also similarly little guy big helmet.
It's like kind of like incongruous.
You know what, if you listen, because Mick Jagger doesn't have a lot of lines, right?
Which is fine.
And I think he does have a great stage presence.
OK, I think we can all agree on that.
But most of the audio in his scenes
is the sound of leather on leather.
It's just like squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak.
And then he's like, I'm going to get you a squeak.
I mean, he is wearing, I don't think
that he was costumed as much as,
I'm like, if you told me every outfit in this movie,
he wore like on the voodoo lounge tour.
Yeah, he brought it.
Yeah.
That's like Mick Jagger's wardrobe.
He didn't seem futuristic.
I'm like, yeah, he wears all that leather.
Maybe that lapel is a little bit different.
Besides, I found it weird.
He was the bad guy.
Who's bad guy was he?
He was working for Anthony Hopkins number two.
Yes, for Hopkins, because Hopkins calls him off after he
from my girlfriend's house.
From Better Call Saul.
Yes.
So he was working for what's his name?
James.
Jonathan Banks.
Jonathan Banks.
But he was also working for Hopkins, right?
So they're both working for Hopkins, but Jonathan Banks
is making a power graph.
Yes, he's great.
Because at a certain point,
Jonathan Banks' guys were all in blue suits
and had laser guns, and Mick Jagger's group
had like normal guns and were in black suits.
That's right.
And I was like, who are these fucking other guys?
Yeah.
I thought we had like one bad guy,
and now I don't know what's doing.
Well, there's a lot going on in on said because like Mick Jagger to me and
Emilio they have this like adversarial relationship, but they've never met you know, it's like, uh-huh
What do you think now for a ferment or whatever?
What happens when you get laid off a government job furlough is that furlough?
That but his name is furlong. Furlong, like I would say.
Also, in one point, make the joke of both his name being furlong and then the word
furlough, the four-it's furlong, which I thought was really weird.
Like, you won't be furlong furlong.
Yes.
Yeah.
I think that was some version of the joke.
I hated this movie.
Yeah. I hated this movie.
Yeah.
I just wrote down, I just wrote down like, this is your two lead characters, like it's
Vincendic and furlong.
It's like, oh, these are not like, no.
The worst names, they're hard to pronounce.
And I felt like Mick Jagger was just doing an impression of Fred Arminson impersonating him like it made no sense
I was like what the fuck is this?
Well, this is you know by the way bringing this up
Um, Averyl Halley who pulls off our clips found this great interview of Mick Jagger that explains why he did this movie
For the money
And I will say that
This is I think again, I think, again,
I think there is a time before publicists came in
to be like, oh, no, no, no.
No.
We're not going to ask that.
And this falls in that right at the end of it.
So, and I'll say this, the clip works in a wave.
You'll think it's over, and then it's going to pop in for the end.
Here we go. Oh.
We in over 20 years, but he told Garrett Glazer
that his decision to do it was rather spur of the moment.
Right now I'm working on a solo album, Portray.
And just before that started, they said,
we would like to do this feature.
And I said, let me see, it's a...
Well, I got to know, we got to know my next week
because it's start shooting, three weeks, I said,
OK, I'll do it. So probably if I had six months to think about, I'd probably have, we got to know my next week because it started shooting three weeks, I said, OK, I'll do it.
So, probably if I had six months to think about it,
I probably would have turned it down, is it?
Oh, no, it's not quite.
One, one.
It really was.
So, what was it like working with him?
I'm not sure working, and then my thought was really good fun.
I'm going to win it out a few times,
went a few strip clubs in Atlanta.
Did it?
That's what people do in Atlanta.
Is it perfect?
OK, darling, I'm off this trip club after work.
Oh, shit.
He went to strip clubs in Atlanta.
In Atlanta with a meal you have to have.
He likes the dark chocolate, that's tight.
That's cool.
Mick Jaggers, like we went to Magic City, I mean, Wayne.
We went to the Claremont, did all that nonsense.
It was pretty extensive.
Now that I know it was shot in Atlanta, I don't know why it makes me even sadder for Mick
because he signs onto a movie.
He has to beat Atlanta's all night shoes.
You know what I mean?
And that's why he never did another movie.
That's like he never appeared in another film, is that right?
I mean, I don't think, I don't have the research in front of me but I don't think so yeah I
think for him well I think we in all honesty I think it's obvious and we can
all agree I suspect everybody in this room he kind of nailed it and doesn't
ever need to perform again you know it's like I think Daniel Day Lewis is currently like, okay, this new movie,
this PTA movie, is it? I'm done though. It's as good as it's gonna get. I can retire.
Mick Jagger watches this movie and he's like, fucking crushed it. There is no role greater than
Vicentec. I will just keep making very mediocre Rolling Stones records.
What the fuck are you talking about, man?
Their latest stuff is better than any of that early stuff.
Ay, ay, ay.
There's one thing in this movie, there's a lot of things.
But the cliché that I always love is when someone comes in from another time and it's night time,
they don't recognize that the world has changed around
I'm like, my name is fly does that like back to the future, too
It's like his house has like bars on it. He's like, huh?
Just walks in like he there's like and this and his mind immediately was like I left my apartment this morning
And there weren't trash can fires and my building wasn't burnt out, but again, it's nighttime
So I'm not really pulling it all in I've done a lot of stuff at night.
I am not losing all my surroundings.
If I came home in my house, it's like slightly on fire
and I'm like, I don't remember that graffiti
on my front door.
Like I wouldn't be like, I guess it has kids.
You know, and but like when he goes home,
like he's running through the street.
People are shooting at him.
Yeah.
He is like, wait, does he first find Amanda Plummer's nun?
No, I think he goes home first.
He goes to Lamey first.
He goes to Julie's.
Is that her name?
Julie.
Yeah, that's his house.
I was convinced when the door opened,
it was going to be an old Renee Russo and old lady makeup.
Me too.
And I was very happy that wasn't the case.
It was just this old black couple like,
you're a free jacket.
And I was like, God, Jesus.
Ah, Jesus.
You got to work in the title like that.
You are a free jacket.
By the way, they have to work in the title so many times
because the title of the making fucking sense.
And you're like, what is it?
It should be like, you're a body jacket.
Like body jacket is a thing.
Like a high jacket. You're a high jacket. What is jacker is a thing. A high jacker.
What is it?
Yeah, what is it?
They bring people at the moment they're going to die
to the future so that the rich can transfer their consciousness
into those bodies for to gain immortality-ish.
But what does that mean?
You never reach.
Why are they free?
Is it because they're not paying for it? reality ish right? Well what does that mean? You never eat. Why are they free?
Is it because they're not paying for it?
Like, but first of all, they're called,
the free jacking, I guess is like your free jackie,
you're like, it's, you're freely taking someone's life.
You guys, you guys just stop.
It's not worth it, y'all.
No, no, no, no, no.
We're gonna get to the bottom of this.
So, I'm Anthony Hopkins. I'm like, okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Huh? Free Jack? Why? Don't know, it just came to me.
It should be like free life for body jack, it should be called body jack.
How about a new guy?
New guy?
How about like, a blank slate, about tabula rasa.
But as we're figuring out that, why is Mick Jagger's people called bonejackers?
Why are they called bonejackers?
We're the other guys.
They're not jacking there.
I mean, for a brief moment, I thought they were called bonejagers.
Bonejagers?
That's a good name to call somebody.
I was curious.
I was like, fuck you movie.
I already hate you.
And now you've got something called Bone Jaggers
that Mick Jagger runs.
Fuck you.
By the way, I would have loved that in the future,
Mick Jagger is a bone jack.
Like he was like, I left music behind after my solo album.
And now I'm just this, I'm this guy.
But I thought, Body Jacker, again, that's what he should be.
He's the Body Jacker.
Like you're hijacking someone's body.
Yeah, body jack, that works better than hijacking.
Can I just ask a question though?
Because so,
But that also has like vaguely sexual connotations to it.
A bone jacker?
Yeah, I'm gonna have bone jacking to it.
Oh man, bone jacker is much more sexual than body jacker.
Yeah, body jack, I'm like I kid it.
I thought Emilio's name was gonna be Jack.
Uh huh. And then it was Alex and I was like, I kid it. I thought Emilio's name was gonna be Jack.
And then it was Alex, and I was like, I'm
a merely like, throw for a loop.
Like I had to recover for several weeks.
And everybody knows, everybody knows,
because those people that he goes to the apartment
to find, they're like, you're a free jack.
So that's something that exists enough.
Like, do we ever meet another free jack?
No, but it seems like this is the first time a free jack has gone wrong.
Yes.
Why don't they want to kill you though?
They want to just capture.
They need the party.
But why does, so for instance, the couple that says you're a free jack
get out of here, why don't they want to kill, why don't they want to have any
association with him?
Because people are no doubt coming for him probably?
Yeah, they give him a big high end.
They probably bring in trouble.
I think you're probably told you can't hang with free jackers.
Right.
There's a lot of holes here.
To me, I feel like it is that future jargon that's
I'm like, yeah, free jack.
Free jacker.
Got it.
Yeah, got it.
Like, you know, it's like control all the same, you know,
like, we got it.
It's good.
But what made it hard?
What made it hard?
What made it hard was that like, it was that,
what's his name?
Jonathan Banks had his own army that was called something else.
And so they were constantly all showing,
it was very muddy to me because they were all constantly
showing up at all the same fights.
Yeah, and I couldn't tell, like Mick Jagger's guys were shooting Jonathan Banks' guys,
and I was like, I think they're working for the same people.
I don't know. I didn't like this movie.
There was also, talking about weird names, the Spiritual Switchboard. Yeah.
Switch.
Got a lot of questions about this.
Yeah.
So the Spiritual Switchboard is literally a place where I guess your body is held in spiritual
stasis or I guess you can switch so minds.
Yeah, so I guess you can switch so mines. Yeah, so I can bring a switch.
You'd bring a brain dead free jacker in there.
Yeah.
And then you make them touch the jack.
Oh, maybe the giant jack is a free jack.
Yeah.
No.
Holy shit.
Guys.
That or the cost or that or the department's like,
free jack.
I'm making a big jack.
No, I think that's why it's in the shape of a jack.
That's fucking so stupid.
That is, that is, that this is like as revelatory as the Rudy
in reindeer games reveal.
That is, if that's why it's in the shape of a jack,
I'm now incensed.
Ha, ha, ha.
Um, full disclosure, my computer ran out of power
right after Anthony Hopkins said,
I did it because I was in love with you,
which I thought, oh, I get that.
Can you fast forward, Paul, to the end
where we see the jack?
But then you told me nothing else happens that is an interest get that. Can you fast forward, Paul, to the end where we see the Jack? But then you told me nothing else happens
if interest after that.
And it turns out the entire movie comes together
in a gigantic Jack, so fuck you.
I mean, the free Jack happens, and then this scene happens
after the free Jack.
You no longer needed here, asshole.
The Candleless is no more.
Wait.
That's the Jack!
There's the Jack!
Oh, it's been blown up!
It's been blown up!
Nice try, Mark.
And I made it.
I completed the transfer.
Don't you give me that shit!
Shoot him, Vicendic.
Try to assassinate me.
Take orders from a free Jack.
As he may can't.
Yeah, but of course I'm a canless.
Could be. We've completed transfers in that time, and we've had him take longer.
I don't know.
He is lying. You check his ID number. You check his personal ID number.
Only a canless would know that.
What the fuck is going on?
This is so stupid.
Six.
What?
Correct.
Wait, I don't-
Six.
Six.
Six.
Six.
His person, and I know, I do know,
moments later, he does say some more numbers, but when
he said six, and Mick Jagger said correct, I almost jumped out a window.
I was like, you fucking movie just ruined my life.
What's his personal ID number?
In the future? Six. By the way, also loving, loving
the choice of that scene where Emilio is kind of doing a British accent but kind of not.
Yeah. It's like walking a line like I'm affecting something. Right. But you're not going
to be able to figure it out exactly.
But if you jumped at somebody else's body,
you wouldn't just bring your accent with you.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Wait, so in that scene, is he and someone else is cool with you?
Oh, well, that, all right.
So you think he is, and then this is the final thing.
You told me nothing happens.
You said don't worry about it, nothing happens. I thought it would be better for this to happen. What's going on? I chose the show. So this is how the movie ends. Oh, by the way, why are they in an antique car?
I mean, there is...
What the fuck is that about?
There is so much stuff going on with this.
I'm not going to be a real man.
I'm not going to be a real man.
I'm not going to be a real man.
I'm not going to be a real man.
I'm not going to be a real man.
I'm not going to be a real man.
I'm not going to be a real man.
I'm not going to be a real man.
I'm not going to be a real man.
I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I mean, there is... What the fuck is that about?
There is so much stuff going on with this.
And there are also dressed old timing.
It's so stupid.
And the driver of the car was also like an old timing outfit as well.
Here we go.
Alex, is that you?
Nimble my ear.
Do!
Eww!
Eww!
Ugh.
Oh, wait, how did you get the ID number right?
Eww!
He didn't.
I lied.
What?
He was not close.
The fuck outta here.
Are we really gonna do this?
Stranger things have happened.
Now come on.
Buckle up.
Let's see if this baby'll do.
Not much.
How dare you.
Not much.
Cause it's a very old car.
How dare you. And by the way's a very old car. How dare you.
And by the way, that's the way the movie ends.
Hey, I just want to say that the audacity
think that nibble on my ear was so important to the audience
to fucking bring it back at the end.
Like see a nice button?
We all get it now.
Wait, wait.
I would have loved it if he was like,
if he was like, you're dumped.
You're dumped, you're too old for me, it's gross.
It's gross.
Like I just won, I'm like, I'm in the future now.
I got a lot of options.
You're dumped, I got shit going on.
You know, I'm a free jack.
Ladies, love a free jack.
Ladies love a free jack. Why is Mick Jagger their friend now?
Why?
Why relationship that makes no sense?
They're adversarial, like a ha.
You're a good, like, but there's no basis to why
they're against each other, why they're for each other.
I get why he says, I can understand the logic of
saying
Mealou has to have says the number and he says he's right so they can shoot Jonathan Banks, right got it
Okay, because that's his main competitor at that point, but
Why keep these two dildos alive?
Why not just kill them as well? And because he's power.
Because he showed him humanity.
In this future world, people kill all the time.
And Amelia was like, you know what, buddy?
I'm not going to kill you.
And then...
Amelia could have killed me.
Yeah, and this is why Mick Jagger does that thing.
I'm going to give you a five minute head start.
And then starts counting by seconds.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
He's like one Mississippi. two Mississippi, three Mississippi.
He's a counting to 300 in his hands over his eyes.
I was like,
I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
I was like,
I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
I was like, I was like,
I was like,
I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
I was like,
I was like, I was like,
I was like, I was like,
I was like, I was like, I was like,
I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
I was like,
I was like,
I was like,
I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, minutes to be in real time. 333 Mississippi.
334 Mississippi.
We gotta go. We gotta go.
I told them I give them five minutes.
How did this go?
Um, like I also wrote down like this.
Like I wrote down that this movie felt like every scene was like someone off camera
was like, you know what, don't do it at full speed, we'll just do it, we'll just say the lines.
The same lines, we're just gonna like rehearse it.
We're just gonna rehearse it.
Yeah, you guys had a long night at temptations.
You know, make his scratching, and we're not sure.
It all just seems like sleepy.
I mean, it does.
Yeah, it does.
You see, that's what it is.
The nights that strip up with Mick Jagger,
like, come to set a little punchy.
A little loose.
I will tell you this, 40% of the movie was re-shot.
What?
What?
So you're telling me there's a worse version of this movie.
By the way, that exists.
Not worth it.
No.
The movie had a terrible test screening, and Emilio said that the director focused too much
on action, so they brought in the producer to add more character and humor, and they wound
up reshooting 40% of the movie.
40% and that's, and this producer who didn't go on to direct anything else after that.
That's what he did.
40%.
That is such a waste of my, just be like, you know what, let's cut our losses.
Just release it.
Yeah, it's over.
Yeah, and by the way, what's so wrong about action? Like, to me like okay like a movie was all action okay. I will say this
I didn't buy Emilio as an action star so when he kept running I'm like that's not
him running. He's not seem like a tough guy. He also never seemed really scared. Yeah,
like when he's supposed to be when he's supposed to be, when he's supposed to be like,
what's going on in the world?
Instead of being like, really, he's kind of like,
what's going on?
Yeah.
As if like he came home and his roommate
said like, rearrange the furniture.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, everything, his level is that level of like, you know?
He's like that guy you break up with,
cause you're just like, I just wanna see some life,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, and.
And what?
Nothing.
Nothing.
No life for him.
He's like, I get it.
Yeah.
But.
The guy that I wanna see a whole movie about is Boone,
René Rousseau's bodyguard.
Right, but always in a turtle back.
That guy's the best.
Leifah Weapon, die hard. Yeah. Renee Russo's bodyguard. That's right, but always in a turtle neck. That guy's a bet.
Leave the weapon, die hard.
Killed it.
He fucking carries a samurai sword and a machine gun.
Yeah, I was very confused where that samurai sword came from.
And when he did the training for that move,
that was fucking insane.
He was shot.
Then they take a moment.
Like they really, the camera's like,
let's enjoy this moment when you massacre someone.
Yeah.
And he just takes out that sort of,
like, I need to feel it.
Pull a kid to this dead man.
I love that guy.
I would have watched a whole movie about that guy.
Me too.
And so much more than a million estimates.
Boone did do one suspect thing, which was like,
he held his gun up like in the, like his arm was like that.
I think that's not a good position.
Like if you're like,
someone's getting out of here.
Yeah, yeah, you should maybe be like, like this,
you know, it just seems like an,
it just seems like an opposition.
But you know what, he's the fucking best.
He's directing himself in this.
But let me ask you this, because this is really confused me.
So he is guardian Renee Russo.
Yes.
Who is working for Anthony Hopkins.
But she doesn't realize that Anthony is bad newsbeers.
Okay, because so aren't, isn't every single character
in the movie working for him?
With the exception of Emilio Estevez?
Yes
Working for Anthony Hopkins. Yeah, no matter what what uniforms they're wearing no matter who they're fighting
No matter what's going on. They're all on the same side except for him. Yes, some guys are on the books
Some guys are off the books. Yeah, they're all...
Their communication, their phone tree is terrible.
They're not communicating well at all.
They're like shooting each other and instead you'll be like,
wait, wait, same side, same side.
Let's team up.
If we team up, no, we're going to massacre each other.
Okay, cool fight.
It's like playing like a multiplayer halo game
or something.
We're all on the same team
But you're getting a lot of friendly fire
What is up with the suicide I wrote that down. What is that a billboard that just
Advertises yeah, yeah, I think it was like maybe like a suicide hotline or something
It was it was felt or suicide awareness was it awareness?
Okay, let's go back I think it was suicide awareness. Was it awareness? I think, okay.
Let's go back, but I think it was suicide awareness.
I'm like, this is not very suicide assistance.
A system.
Oh, that's fucking very mean.
So it's like, so they're comfortable.
Yeah, like a future.
That's what they think 2009 is.
It's just like suicide assistance all over the fucking place.
And I looked at it, it was like if Olga was written the Coke Park.
So I was like, oh suicide is as big as Coke in 2009.
Yeah.
Which it was.
And why?
Battery Park is so close to Park Slope, right?
No.
Well, I mean, they're just a cro- you're right.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
And yet, battery park is 3-
So Tony.
Yeah, it's just bizarre that they're not sharing anything.
And Park's love, as you all know, as New Yorkers,
is not a nice place to live.
No.
Park's love, Park's love, between being like in Hal Ashbees,
the landlord, like a very downtrodden neighborhood
to 2009 in this movie under
goes like a real up and down. Yeah. Um, can we talk about Fabergette eggs? Yeah, that is.
You know what? In 80s movies, they're always stealing Fabergette eggs. RISCY business.
Fabergette eggs. Yeah. I think there's been other Faber J because I feel like okay, but when did our
As a coach do you know like our Faber J eggs? They're not made of they're not eggshells, right?
No
Yeah, so easily
He's like get out my office god damn it. I'm like what yeah, no, I feel like that would be a heavy yeah
Just catch it and then put it back for your death.
Why did they...
Maybe a jewel falls out of it.
Right, but it's intact.
Yeah, that's the one part.
That felt...
I mean, maybe the side plot is that he bought some bad
Faberger eggs.
Why did...
Why have we decided?
But get back that.
Why have we decided that Faberger eggs are the universal symbol
of something priceless.
I think my relatives in South Philly had a couple of those
Faberjais eggs.
Wait, what?
No.
Yes, right?
Nope, nope, nope.
With the LeBoshe, you know, like the Shepherd girl.
With a Shepherd girl?
No, they had like Yadro figurines.
Yadro, isn't that the same as a Faberjais egg?
What? You're acting likeodro figurines. Yodros, that's what that is not the same as a Faberier egg.
What do you mean?
You're acting like you've seen one.
Where have you seen a Faberier egg?
Where?
Your family never imported that phrase.
No family has, nobody has Faberier eggs.
Have you lost your mind?
You're saying like, oh, my family had Faberier eggs
and Homo figurines, same.
Are you insane?
That is categorically impossible!
Faberjay eggs are something!
Who's the lit, Paul? Who's the lit?
How fucking expensive is a Faberjay?
We're made between 1885 and 1917.
They were made for the Russian Zars,
Alexander III, Nicholas II,
as Easter gifts for their wives and mothers.
How many of them are in South Philly?
They...
Just a quick count.
How many are currently in South Philly?
You don't know where in South Philly.
I will tell you this.
So there are 65 known Fabergees.
Oh, okay, great.
All these 50 seven have survived to the present day. Okay, great. Oh, it is in my grandmother's house.
Have survived to the present day.
Okay.
Tanner displayed in the Kremlin.
Okay, okay.
So that leaves, how many?
That leaves some 40 odd.
So, oh, yes, you are so wrong.
You are so wrong.
You are incredibly wrong.
You are outrageously wrong.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
You just said on the podcast, I think my family in South Philly has a couple
a couple of Faber-Shay eggs at their own in South Philly. Let me just say something.
Yins don't have any Fabricie eggs in South Philly.
I will say that Wikipedia does account for every single one,
but there is one that was just found in the US.
And bought by a private collector.
The third imperial Easter egg of 1887.
It's not me, It's not me.
I'm allergic to eggs.
You have to accept the irony.
You just sit there petting it.
Oh, my egg.
Oh, you had to tonight.
So are we convinced that you don't have any pepper eggs?
Yes, I have.
And we settled that.
Do we want it?
Should we get your self-filly family on the phone? Okay.
They're like, oh Jessica, those are some like,
what is a tender memories or what are those called?
Yes, that's what I think of when you go to hallmark
to the hallmark store.
Yeah, when you go to the hallmark store,
you buy a Faber-J-A-G.
I put, I put,
when you go to a Spencer Gibson,
you get a Faber-J-A-G.
And you put it on your mantle, like a fucking moron.
Have you lost your mind?
I put my Faber-J egg next to my statue of Jesus playing hockey.
Yeah, it's really, it's really well-matched.
Next to my trophy that says most meals with dad.
A trophy I earned.
That's my trophy. Fine. Oh, it's fine.
Guys were having fun.
What if he grabbed the egg?
He was like, I got this from the Sinclair family.
It's South Billy.
You guys don't know.
That's, isn't that one of the, one of the,
one of the new plotlines of the next Indiana Jones movies?
Yeah. Is that Indiana Jones is trying
to break into a house and so filling to fucking get one of the only unaccounted for Faber
Jay eggs.
We may have our couches covered in plastic still, but we also have Faber Jay eggs.
Suck my dick.
You're living a lie. I'm gonna have to watch this again. Great. The Riverrat. This guy, the Riverrat.
The ancient river.
Where's the boy?
Have you ever seen an eagle flying back to a ship?
I've never seen an eagle flying back to a ship.
I've never seen an eagle flying back to a ship.
I've never seen an eagle flying back to a ship.
I've never seen an eagle flying back to a ship. I've never seen an eagle flying back to a ship. I've never seen an eagle flying back to a ship. This guy's a river rat. The ancient riddle. Where's the boy?
Have you ever seen an eagle flying back to his home with dinner from Mrs. and all the little eagle babies?
And he's flying against the wind and he's flying in rain and he's flying through bullets and all kinds of health?
And then right at that moment, he's about to get back to his nest.
He says,
how would the fuck,
that's a drag, we in an eagle.
And right then,
two little exes comes across his eyes,
just like in old-fashioned cartoons,
and he goes plunging down,
and down,
and down,
and down, and down, and down.
It's just a splatter of feathers.
And then we don't have the national bird of America.
Do you ever see that?
No.
That's me neither. Ecosca.
By the way, that's clearly a reshoot scene, right?
Yes.
That was a scene that they were like, that feels up to minutes.
All right, great.
That monologue means nothing to them.
What is it?
It means nothing.
Nothing.
I am adding that to my list of monologues
that I do at audition.
Yes.
In addition to the one from Miami Connection,
from about the guy that gets the letter.
Yes.
And now this, because these are unbelievable.
That guy, I mean the River Rack guy,
I mean, literally, like, I can't think of a scene that has less
to do with anything. There is, there's a sort of like a character moment. It's a weird
like, what do you think he's telling me? What's the metaphor? I can't figure it out.
I don't know. Does anybody know? Nurtz? Hold on, hold on. Let's go to this guy. He's wearing
a shirt with a button down so it looks pretty cool
So your name max max K. What does the monologue the river rap mean?
So he's sitting next to him and he's complaining and he's like I was in the river all wet and he's like
Here's an eagle that's got a bad to that struggling and it like he'll sorry for itself for a second and then dies
There's not really a connection there, but that's what he does. That doesn't happen.
He's saying, don't do that.
So he's saying, you gotta like,
so he's saying, you're gonna die too.
He's saying, you're the eagle, you're gonna die.
No, he says,
sorry for you to see it here and you give up.
Ah, I see.
Right, but we still have a national bird
because the eagle doesn't give up.
Is that what he's saying?
Yeah.
We won, say it again.
USA. Oh, again. USA.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Could this whole thing have not been this monologue?
And could he have just come up on him and eaten?
And he, Frankie Faizon, could have gone, USA.
USA.
And it would have done the same thing.
But in me, this movie is like infinite, just you
do need to like watch a scene, read a little bit,
about it, like get to the bottom of it.
There's a lot of footnotes.
It's a lot of, yeah.
Honestly, not one person in this room is read Infinite Gest.
My brother's favorite book.
You fucking nerds.
You are like, those people that clapped are liars. It's like
2000 pages isn't it? It's like 7,000 pages. Yeah. It never ends. But the other and I'm just waiting
for that sequel. Oh Jason. What? We should talk about it. I am waiting for that sequel. No, oh, no.
No?
No, it's not.
DFW, where is that sequel?
Oh, no, oh, no.
Oh, no.
Ah.
The other guy I want to talk about is called
finite jest.
Ah.
It's a pamphlet.
It's.
I do know he's dead. It's a pamphlet.
I do know he's dead.
The guy who works with Mick Jagger, who has the one lens sunglass, is that he's the Marellus? Both eyes work.
I thought he was going to have no eyes.
That's crazy.
That would be great.
And they positioned it like, papah.
It's like, oh, you've got both eyes.
Because you know what I thought to myself is,
it's a great idea.
If you don't have an eye, pop out a lens.
And then you don't have to worry about tying on a patch, right?
Yeah.
But no, but that was just a fashion statement again.
Because for you, a lot of the stress would be the tying on of the patch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because you got it, maybe it's too tight.
You know?
Well, spoilers for the new Thor movie, but that patch just seems to sit there somehow without
anything going around or anything.
That's weird. Yeah, which I around or anything. That's weird.
Yeah, which I thought was weird.
That's magic.
Because everything else in the movie makes total sense.
We should get to the audience.
So obviously, we have a lot of points, but I want to come to the audience to see what they
have to think, and I'm going to ask you your name, and who would you free Jack and your
question.
Okay, so, Paul?
Paul?
Just quick question.
Just so we're clear, what is the definition of free Jack?
And I only say this because people get
interpreted a couple of ways.
Oh, yeah.
Not sexually.
Don't free Jack anyone sexually.
Because I've got a quick list of people
I'd like to free Jack
Nobody wants to hear it. This is just who's boss nobody wants to hear it. Who's boss?
That's kind of what I'm talking about.
That still sounds bad.
That's that's a lot of what I'm talking now
Feel what no, what we got to I'll show you a picture of what I mean. You know what?
I'm gonna send you some websites all of you click on them
Just blind click on everything I send
Your name my name is Ryan. Okay, who would you like to free Jack? I would like to free Jack
He's not dead though
All right, wait does that mean you have to you have to know it has to be a
All right, wait, does that mean? So you have to know it has to be a death sentence?
You know, that makes sense because the person has to be
about to die to freejack them.
Right, and you are on Death's Door.
I am? Wait a minute.
What's her name again? Ryan.
What do you know?
Ryan is going to freejack Jason Manzooka your question.
So at the end of the movie, I was watching the credits, and in the credits, they have a dialogue coach for Mick Jackson.
Wait, what?
I told me there was nothing at the end of this movie.
Wait, so, would she supposed to be doing, who?
An American accent.
I wonder if they did an American accent
and then it didn't work and they ad yard his lines with his accent.
Well, that's the thing because if you listen to the movie,
his accent sounds absolutely bizarre.
But when you see that he has a dialect coach like,
maybe he was trying to go for... He was pulling the Emilio S. de Vez at the end move where it's like I'm kind of here and I'm kind of there
it feels like that's why his lines were a little
sheepish if you will like it was like I'm not fully here to commit to that but why would he have to
I don't know that is cryptic that is is worth, that's a Blake Harris question.
Yeah.
Alright.
Wait, can I ask a question of this girl whose name I've forgotten again?
It's Ryan.
Ryan?
Ryan?
Ryan?
You're a neutral name, so it's weird to be here.
Ryan, what are you exactly planning to do with my body once you have it. We'll find out.
Now I'm getting creeped out.
Great question, Ryan.
Great question.
Sir, what's your name?
Who'd you like to free Jack in your question?
My name's Dana, and I would free Jack Kathy Ireland right
before she made necessary roughness because I think that killed her career.
Wow.
Kathy Ireland?
Is that what you said?
Her underwear is okay.
Kathy Ireland, maybe her acting career, but her career is enormous.
She's wildly successful.
And I mean like...
Judge of people's jack, okay?
Okay.
Free jack to...
You're right, you're right.
Don't judge the jack.
Don't judge the jack. Don't judge the Jack.
Judge the game.
All right, so here we go.
All right, so Nick Jagger does the hand print live detector
with the gentleman with the one-eyed lens, setting up
what we think towards the end when we have the switcheroo.
It could come back into play, what happened?
Well, I think what we've established is
that he doesn't want, he wants them to get away.
He doesn't want to prove that, right, you're saying,
he could have Emilio has to best put his hand on it
and say, who are you?
I don't think he helps him lock. He wants
to help him lock. So I think that's why. Although I wouldn't be willing to guess if that
machine came back in the 40% of reshoots. Because why set it up to not have it come back
again? We'll come back again. So I hope something was going to come back was Mick Jagger playing video games.
The most simplistic video game.
Like, video games took a step back from 1992.
In a major way, I was like,
dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.
It was like, pong.
And he was, and I didn't see Mick Jagger's character.
I was like, oh, tough day of bonejack.
Let me just get on my video game machine
and just crank a couple out.
Sir, your name, your freejack, and your question.
A mat, I would freejack.
The league?
I'd like to say, you'd freejack a TV show?
Yeah.
Boy, we're having a lot of problems with our free jacks.
Okay, so this illustrates a central problem.
Right, we don't know what it is.
That people fundamentally don't understand free jacking to a degree that this guy, keep
in mind, back row of the balcony, would like to free Jack a TV show that is no longer on the air.
Okay sir you'll free Jack a TV show your question. Can we talk about that taxi driver in the beginning?
Hang on hang on I have a second question. First, first of all, yeah. You and his voice coach.
You sound foreign.
Yeah, I'm from Australia.
Oh, God.
Well, you do those won't come out, so I'm going to come here.
Okay, Farron, did you come here just for this?
I've stayed a little bit long bit just for this.
Okay, good, I'll take it. Great. Well done.
Did anybody travel from farther than just for this. Okay, good, I'll take it, great, well done. Did anybody travel from farther than Australia
for this show?
Where?
Filling.
Filling.
Filling.
That's the perfect answer.
Where's your eggs?
Show us your eggs.
Show us your eggs.
Show us your eggs.
Show us your eggs. Show us your eggs. Show us your eggs. Show us your eggs. Show us your eggs.
Show us your eggs.
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
We know they're in your ovaries.
But if you jump at the Jessica,
you can also get one of her eggs.
All right.
Sure.
I don't remember the taxi driver.
So when Emilio lands into the future,
he gets into this taxi.
He has to give the guy at the watch.
And then he figures out that he's a free jack.
And then he starts to shoot him.
He tries to kill him.
And Emilio outruns a bullet.
Because he's an A1 race driver.
I gotta remember this.
It was, I don't know why the Australian wanted to know about it
because it is a pointless scene and a pointless character.
But you know what, Australians.
Your name, who you want to freejack?
That's right, I'm going to war with Australia.
Hi, my name is Mel and I was probably freejack Oscar Wilde.
Right.
He's already dead!
Alright, hey Mel.
I thought you were going real good and then it just like a meal you have to just crash into the wall.
Hey, Mal, quick question, are you mad at us?
This movie is making everybody upset.
But my question is, do you think this is a meal you asked to have as version of the rate with Charlie Sheen because it's so ridiculous.
What is the year? What year was the race? Oh, it's five. Oh, it's a bunch of years later.
What's that? It's Charlie Sheen. It's Charlie Sheen.
Wait a minute. What do you think it is? Charlie C. Cheen rides a dragon.
Yeah.
Yep.
Let's go with that.
That's what a rake is.
We'll go with that Charlie C.
That's what a rake is.
Rides a dragon.
Is it it?
Yep, that's what it is.
That's what a rake is.
You need to pay for rent that movie.
No way.
No, no, it's another like terrible sci-fi movie
where Charlie Sheen sort of is in it.
What's the rake? Yeah, in it. What's the rate?
Yeah, but yes.
He's the rate.
But what does that mean?
The rate is like a vengeful spirit that comes back to avenge like a...
Great.
What?
I think we all know it's not amazing.
Your name who you free-jack your question.
My name is Oliver. I'm who you free-jack your question.
My name is Oliver.
I'm gonna free-jack Kate Upton.
Oh, come on.
Get outta here, Steadman.
He looks like Steadman.
He kinda looks like Steadman.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm assuming because you wanna fuck that baseball player,
right?
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Don't, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Can we talk about how free Jack was a prequel to none to cover with the none who's a
Amanda Plummer
With the New York accent and packing guns all over the place. That was Amanda. That's Amanda Plummer one of the greats
Amanda Plummer, she was the none. Okay. She was the none
I love when she kicked what's his name in the balls. Michelle, she kicked him so hard in the balls.
He died.
That he like froze for like four seconds
and then fell to the ground.
All right, front row.
This is a pressure zone.
You got a good seat.
You were here early.
You got a question.
Ooh, it better be good.
Your name? Who you gonna free Jack?, it better be good. Your name?
Who you're going to free Jack?
That's better be good.
Any question?
Oh, the pressure is on.
I would free Jack Adam Sand.
Okay.
Okay.
Good free Jack.
Not exactly.
So right before they go upstairs at the top floor, the 200th floor in that building, when
they're escaping, he says, she types in the 100th floor in that building. When they're escaping, he says, she types in the 100th floor.
He's like, why are we going to the 100th floor?
It's like there's a fire escape.
That's what we're doing.
We're not even supposed to be the first floor.
That's right.
Now, is it quicker to go down the fire escape on the 100th floor
than just running back out like a back entrance on the person?
That's a great point.
That's a great question.
And I think that I want to give you a special award.
Is the only access to the fire escape on the 100th floor?
Is that what we're...
That's it?
My question is, is that anybody who is paying that much
logical attention to the movie at that point,
you get a special prize because at that point,
you're like, whatever.
And I do want to say, while she's making her way in,
that, guys, you're great.
Everybody comes prepared.
People have got your notes.
People have been watching parts of the movie
that we're barely paying attention to.
I'm talking about these people down here.
You fucks our animals.
But I want to say, great job, audience.
New York, you're really fucking showed up for this well done
Again, I am not talking to you balcony because you are filthy monsters that nobody trusts
I did get HPV up there you what I got HPV up you got HPV I'm surprised you only got HPV up there. You what? I got HPV up there. You got HPV?
I'm surprised you only got HPV up there.
Okay, your name, who you'd free Jack and your question?
My name's Bridget.
I'd free Jack just fuckly.
Who?
Who?
Just fuckly?
Oh, he's great.
Sure, wonderful.
Finally, we find somebody we agree on. Wonderful.
Beautiful, and an angel on earth lost too soon.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, I'm from East Harlem, and to the beginning of the movie,
when we juggers in his giant truck, and East Harlem is the safety zone.
And it is the one part of Manhattan that has not been changed or by it.
And Park Slope, as we mentioned earlier, is Cobblestone 1889 style.
So why, why?
Why, why did that happen?
Let's talk about infrastructure.
Let's talk about the city.
Guys, we're getting into it.
This is a great question, and it brings us to the part of the podcast that we all love urban planning.
We're talking about Robert Moses. We're talking about the power broker.
Guys, please welcome to the stage Leonard Lopez. He's here to tell us all about New York City and how it is changing. Please welcome to the stage Brian Lerner
Ladies and gentlemen, Manouche Summer Odie guys. These are all WNYC jokes. You're the only people that get them
The people on the podcast can eat a dick
I once made a
Manouche summer Odie joke to dead silence and I'm so happy.
You made it in the wrong place. This is where we make those jokes, baby!
Sir, your name, who you'd free Jack your question?
My name is Matt and I want a free Jack, anyone but Louise CK.
Oh, topical, topical, topical.
Topical, taken shot.
He went there.
All right, so Kevin Spacey, now.
So, your question is what?
So Emilio Estevez is getting chased,
and there's all these futurist, the cars everywhere,
and tanks, and he, a race car driver,
commandeers a fucking champagne truck.
Yeah.
What is a champagne truck and why did he take that?
Yeah, that was really interesting to me because a champagne truck is so
ordinary.
Ordinary.
It's almost a comical vehicle.
But that was part of the issue where they wanted to add humor back into the movie.
You are one hundred percent right.
I think that's probably true.
I think that's what they did.
Yeah, because nobody drives a truck around with just loose bottles that can come flying
out.
But do we live in a world where, because that truck was set up kind of like you see the
water trucks, you know, the big jugs of water trucks.
Are we to believe that in the few in 2009,
champagne is just dispensed into everyone's,
like champagne's here.
Right.
Like it's set up like the milkman's truck.
Like that pork, champagne.
Like that pork guy has to eat that dog food in that diner,
which I felt so bad for him,
because you know, take after take yet to eat that dog food in that diner, which I felt so bad for him, because you know, take after take yet,
eat that dog food.
That dude had no teeth.
I know.
He's fucking lucky to have that slop.
Are you guys talking about the famous pork chop diner?
Yeah.
Yeah, pork chop diner.
I will say that as being of cars in this movie,
I'll also just point out the Coke din car
that Renee Russo has where it's like,
two white leather couch.
Oh, I wanted that so bad.
I thought I would look so good in something like that.
Why?
Why?
And an egg.
It's like a leather egg.
I missed something.
I'm sorry.
I know we're in the middle of the audience, but what?
I missed the Renee Russo's turn from not trusting that he was Alex to believing he was
that. Well, that was on your ear, right?
No, but it was before when Mick Jagger came for Alex
and she was like, oh shit, that must be the Owl.
Oh, okay, so that was the, okay.
So that was the,
you remember Jason, the amazing push freeze frame
into her face?
Yeah, I guess was the craziest shot
I've ever seen in a movie like,
yeah! They did two shots of her like, Yeah, I guess was the craziest shot I've ever seen in a movie
They did two shots of her like
I may I may have been on the toilet for that scene. I may missed it Obviously we had to opinion about this movie with their people out there. They have a different opinion. It is now time for second opinion. I'm gonna second opinion.
You have another opinion.
It's my second opinion.
Yeah.
Valerie, you're the Valerie.
It's amazing.
But in true New York form, we have another second opinion song.
Here we go.
You're a second opinion song.
Gonna draw the curtains turn off the lights.
Gonna log on Amazon tonight.
You can always down for an internet fight.
So there is a review I have to write when you recommend a movie even though it's
10 to give five stars but zero
All gonna find and read your review and
I tell you that this movie
Find and read your review ends. It's gonna tell you that young. That was amazing.
Becky and Valerie give it up, they're amazing.
Thank you both.
Holy shit, that was awesome.
New York bringing it to town.
Bringing it.
I wanted to turn my chair around, you know what I mean?
Well, I want to do the voice.
I'm Blake Shelton. You want to do the voice. I'm Blake Shelton.
You want to do the voice?
Yeah.
OK, go ahead.
No, not me.
I wanted to turn my, I want to have them on my team.
I've never watched it.
That was fun.
That was good.
You were sparkling with it, yeah.
So your specifics are turn the chair and hurt on your team.
Yeah.
OK, you get the voice.
Yeah.
This is an interesting movie because there's 84 reviews tall and
55% of them are five star reviews
And you can't find where are you finding me?
Can I get from Amazon?
Vic, you need to buy that movie, right?
Well, these are people that are on Amazon
that are like, it's like a message board.
They're like, if they bought it on DVD,
or if they watched it on the video service.
They don't even have to have bought it to comment.
Yeah, can I ask a quick question from the crowd?
Because I think this is maybe one of those things
who, like, either from childhood or even now, loved this movie.
Oh, OK. Not as many as I thought. Not as many as I thought.
Examining your life and the choices you've made.
I'm going to just read a couple of them
because they're so short.
This one was written by Joan Jett,
the electric guitar hero.
Joan Jett? the electric guitar hero. Joan Jett?
Yes.
Wow.
And the title of the review is,
the lawnmower man is a good movie.
LAUGHTER
Now you would think the title, the person is confused.
But not so much because it goes, now this is one movie I really like.
A Milio Estevez plays a very good part in this movie.
Give it a view, five stars.
So, lawnmower man, Wrong title, right actor.
Was Emilio Estevez in the lawnmower, man?
OK.
So she was just cutting and pasting different subjects.
But do you think maybe the virtual reality kind of elements
of it is the connection that this person is drawing?
I don't know.
I don't really.
Yeah, I don't know.
Or is this just like a cry for help?
I feel like...
Suicide assistance.
They're going through, they're going through a breakup.
You know what, I'm going to review everyone of my DVDs on Amazon.
Scott Confuse, Cut and Pays. This one's from Kenneth Deal.
Wrote, good job.
Bye, Scott.
No, I love that.
I love that. See, Willie wrote another one of those movies that are brought up during talk about movies
that you just got to see.
Very good movie, great actors, and very good movie. I highly recommend this action-packed full-screen movie.
Wow. So this isn't one of those half-screen movies.
I believe there is an ESL teacher out there going,
your homework is to review movies on Amazon.
That's amazing.
And then finally, this month from Mary, they all are the same.
They all seem like people that have suffered blunt trauma
to the head.
Mary wrote, been looking for this movie for a long time.
We'll tell all my friends, thank you.
Five stops.
It says if, you know what I feel like is,
these are people
that have been free-jacked.
Their brains have been taken from them leaving behind
just the vestige of a body, you know?
And finally, this one is a one-star review.
But I wanted to read it because it was kind of great.
This piece of crap DVD only plays in my car DVD player.
Ah!
Ah!
Don't waste your money, people.
One stop.
Ah!
So that's that.
As we're wrapping up here.
I love that visual of that guy being like, So that's that. As a wrap.
I love that visual of that guy being like, I want to watch Freejack, but I don't want to
just sit in my car.
It is now time for a third opinion.
This one live from Montreal, Miss June Diane Rabel. Here we go.
Here we go.
Hello New York City.
It's your girl, June.
I'm so well on two things.
I'm bummed not to be there because these shows are so much fun.
And I'm deeply relieved to not have to watch
this motion picture.
Sometimes it's fun most of the time.
It's really hard for me to pay attention.
Based on Paul's asked me to talk about what I think this movie
might be about, I know nothing about this film free Jack.
I've never seen a DVD.
I've never seen cover art on iTunes. I've never seen a DVD. I've never seen cover art on iTunes.
I've never seen the billboard. I haven't seen anything about free Jack. So this is truly
just a guess based on two words. I'm going to guess that this film, and I'm really thinking
about it right now for the first time is potentially about
a man named Jack who was imprisoned for many many years, maybe wrongfully so, and is has
finished his time and is now out in the world a free Jack and having to readjust and find, you know, the freedom and space in this mind
to be a person in the world.
And actually, I feel like I just pitched a movie I'd like to see.
Or maybe it's not an animated but like live action type film about a Joker, like a Jack
and a deck of cards that escapes somehow and enters the world.
I guess that seems unlikely.
Anyway, either way, I remain thrilled that I didn't have to do this movie.
And I am wishing you guys a great night and I hope to be back doing the show in New York
City very soon.
Bye.
I am a little bit from June. I will say I do like her pitch for an live-action animated
movie about a Jack who escapes with the cards.
I am going into that. Any final thoughts? Any final thoughts?
I'm finally I'm free from the 52. Oh. So. So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So. So. So. So. So. in a bar, he is one of the most sought after people in town gets drunk in a bar and starts
talking on television.
Why?
Don't know.
Never puts on a costume.
Okay.
Also, when there is put on the hobo costume.
Sort of.
When, when, when Renny Rusa takes him to the other guy's kind of safe house? Are there giant feet sculptures in the house?
I wrote that down.
I couldn't make heads or tails out of that at all.
I was like, very ornate safe house.
Is this art?
Is this what?
I couldn't figure the giant feet sculpture.
I keep my grandma smiling is what the guy says to him when he dies.
I wrote down hard cut to Einstein's face on the wall.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I felt like that Einstein face, it was like intelligence is an important imagination
is.
And I felt like that was the director going, see?
Like, that makes up for any of that shit.
It doesn't make sense, but I came up with that,
and I should be getting something for that.
We have not given an appropriate shout out
to David Johansson, who I only wanna hear
give that position.
All right, kid, here's the deal, you're free, Jacka.
Then take your body and then we go out. All right.
Like one of my character from Scrooge.
Absolute favorite people, New York dolls, all of it.
So great, great to see him.
I feel like I'm louder than I was before and I'm not sure why.
Why is Anthony Hopkins dressed in a Mark Twain costume at the end?
Yep.
That's a question.
I also like the casual skyping of Anthony Hopkins.
When he's in the car, he's like kind of looking out the window.
I was like, oh, hi.
I want to say this.
And then he's like, OK, great.
Back out the window.
Wait, why do I have this written down?
Some of my notes read like a haiku.
Why are they saran wrapping him and also what the fuck?
They put, oh, after they were trying to lumbatimize him,
they put a whole thing of saran wrap on top of him.
That's how that scene ended.
I don't remember that either.
Oh yeah, I do remember that saran wrap thing.
Yeah, they're trying to keep him contained or something. I don't know. Yeah, like hold him. That's how that scene ended. I don't remember that either. Oh yeah, do you remember that saran wrap thing? Yeah, they're like trying to keep them contained or something?
I don't know.
Yeah, like hold them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Susan Saran wrap.
Oh, here is um...
What did you just say?
All right, we have to...
What did you just say?
I didn't say anything.
We got to wrap up the show, but um...
What did you just say?
Say heard me.
Oh.
April Halley found... April Halley, who cuts all of our video clips.
She noticed something that they take the James Brown scream from her.
Yes, I noticed that too.
So here it is, kind of cut in and full. Wow! Wow! I'm being good!
I'm being good!
I'm being good!
I'm being good!
So, that's a treat.
The existence of a champagne truck continues to confound me.
And that visual alone, I mean, Mick Jagger must like,
this must haunt him.
He did so few movies.
He did so few things, and this is one of them.
All right, so we watch these movies for the reason
of doing this podcast.
They're fun, bad movies.
But would you recommend this?
And apparently, we hate ourselves. Would you recommend it? And apparently we hate ourselves.
Would you recommend this movie for this purpose?
To enjoy this movie on this level.
Is it fun, bad?
Is it interesting to watch Phoebe?
What do you think?
Fun, bad, absolutely.
Because I need to talk to someone about this.
This is fucking ruined my day.
It ruined my entire day.
So I got to bitch about it with someone.
Yeah. And I think that's the appropriate response.
Jessica, what do you think?
This was bad, bad, and I feel like this however long it was was like in our 45.
Barefoot Contessa episodes I could have walked back to back and learned real skills about
a ticket pacata and instead I'd watch this piece of shit.
Can I ask a question?
Can I ask you a real question?
Is she barefoot?
Never.
Never.
So that the show from its title is a lie.
That's right.
She's wearing shoes.
Always, always.
You never see her feet.
You never do don't want to see her feet.
Then I'm not gonna watch it.
I only wanna watch ladies cook while barefoot.
Ugh.
You have one of those foot sculptures at home in your house.
Yeah, you know what I do.
Jason?
I'm pretty much no on this.
You know what, it would be yes if Emilio Estevez
was more charismatic.
If it wasn't Emilio Estevez, did somebody just have a proc?
Is Emilio Estevez here?
There is something like, I think that Bruce Willis
perfected that like every guy, action-er of guy.
If not his Emilelios fault he was
script is back
let me be very clear this is
a bismill move his
fault it would be more fun
if Nicholas cage was in this
part it would be more it
would be more fun if Kurt
Russell was it would just be more fun
that's all I mean.
He is kind of negative energy,
and so it feels more draggy than I want it to.
That's kind of what I mean.
I don't think that would make it a good movie,
it would just make it more fun to watch.
I'm in the agreement of that, I feel like it was,
it's, there's interesting things in it,
but not, it's not to be yet,
unless you're doing it for this purpose
Not to be watched
The tagline of this movie was time flies but to survive in the year
2009 or 2009
No, I need to move a lot faster
That is little says that is very clumsy the other one, don't let the future pass you by.
No, no, no.
Those are bad.
Just to put it in perspective, this movie came out in 1992.
The top three movies were Aladdin, Home Alone 2,
and Batman Returns.
This came in 71st out of all the movies.
It was beaten by a lawnmower man, sleepwalkers,
stopper my mom will shoot, and toys.
Do you think in this movie, in the future now,
do you consider Emilio Estevez and Arunegruzo
to be like peers?
Like now that they are together, are they the same age?
I know they're not, but like.
They're gonna live as that.
I think they're gonna have trouble that 18 year age difference is
it's not gonna work out.
Real problem for that.
Where are they gonna live?
How are they gonna live in that antique car?
Yeah.
Who's gonna drive, drive, drive, and nipple each other's ears until they eat each other?
I don't care for that either.
Nipple, like the least sexual thing, nibble my ear.
Eww.
Ears are almost as gross as feet.
Not except for a barefoot contestant.
Phoebe, what do you want to plug?
You have so much cool stuff going on.
You're currently on tour right now.
Yes, I'm going to stand up tour with Elana Glazer.
It's a lot fun.
Give it a new show coming out to HBO.
Yeah, we're joining Jessica Wins and I are doing
for Tudop Queen's HBO Specials that come out next year.
And yeah, that's it.
It's great.
And your book is fantastic.
If you have not read her book, it's amazing.
I actually just want it to a friend.
Because I did it so good.
Oh, thanks Paul.
A problem.
And then Jessica, what do you want to plug?
We got Wamp It Up coming back.
All right.
November 25th, I think.
And the last season of playing house
was something I'm really proud of.
And so you can get that on iTunes or Amazon.
I'm not really sure how to get it.
I couldn't find it.
But good luck.
I'm sure you can buy it on iTunes.
I think you can.
Yeah, but go buy it on iTunes.
All right.
Go buy it on iTunes.
All right, go do it.
And Jason, I voice a character on the TV show Big Mouth
that is on Netflix currently, if you can imagine a world in which
I play a 13 year old boy who fucks his pillow, then get on board for the show.
And I play your brother, he's totally cool.
That's true.
Yeah, that's about it.
And I'll plug a movie that Jason Junini I are all in it's called the disaster artists
Tommy was though and it's all about the making of the room and
Interesting fact about it is that our podcast of the room with Greg Sisterra was used as research in writing the script of the actual
Thank you all so much for coming.
We love you, New York.
How did this get me?
Thank you.
I love you.
Hear us.