How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Look Who's Talking Now (w/ Conan O'Brien)
Episode Date: November 27, 2023Conan O’Brien (Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend) joins Paul, June, and Jason to discuss the 1993 romantic comedy and the final installment in the series, Look Who’s Talking Now starring John Travolt...a and Kirstie Alley. They talk about the sentient Danny DeVito sperm, the talking dogs not moving the movie’s plot, the daughter’s home made Charles Barkley doll, and wolves. (Originally Released 11/22/2018) For more Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerGo to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, and more! Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledCheck out The Jane Club over at janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter
Transcript
Discussion (0)
After watching this movie, I don't know if the title is an invitation or a threat.
We saw Lukus talking now, so you know what that means.
Critique, stuff bar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question.
How did this get made?
Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made.
We are in studio, old theme song, and two classic hosts.
Please welcome Jason Manzook, it's how are you, Jason?
Paul, when you told me I had to watch this movie,
and after having just watched Look Who's Talking to.
Yes.
I was depressed.
I was depressed to find out I had to watch another one
of these and it's animals talking.
Right, I don't like it.
Look, the audience called for it after Look Who's Talking.
And we've listened to the audience now.
We do.
I mean, when they want us to finish up this trilogy,
we have to do it.
Please welcome my other co-host,
June Dayan, Rachel, how are you June?
I'm good, how are you Paul?
I'm very well.
June, your thoughts on this movie right out of the gate.
Oh man, so I felt such little connection to the children,
the babies when they were talking.
I felt even less to the dogs.
Really?
Yeah.
I liked the dogs better than the baby.
Wow.
I've got a lot to get into it after we introduce our guests.
Yes.
So our guest today really is one of my favorite people.
He's a writer, he's a producer, he's worked on Saturday Night Live, he's worked on the
Simpsons and probably most notably has been on TV as one of the best late night talk show hosts in the game.
He's the longest running talk show host on television and he has a brand new podcast
coming out here on earwulf called Conan O'Brien.
Need the friend.
Please welcome Conan O'Brien.
Thank you for having me.
I was told I'm doing a podcast now because I was told there weren't many.
And there's a desk.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, out that there is more than three. I really thought I was getting in at the very beginning.
No, no, no, this is a point where basically you could every person has a podcast that can
be just for them. If you have a phone, you have a podcast.
Yes. Okay, so I was misled. I was also told that this will be a cash cow for me in my podcast.
Oh, yeah, I was told that. Oh, that. Yeah, I mean, that mean that's I mean if you're expecting to get paid in
Bonobos pants and stamps.com stamps. Yeah, so that how then you're gonna be drowning in that
Order pants my friend. Yeah, I'm happy. You're gonna be sleeping a night on a Casper mattress and thinking lucky stars You're gonna be traveling with a way suitcases. Yeah, you're gonna have a room full of small boxes that contain large mattresses that are inexplicable.
All right, I'm down for all of it.
I'm excited and fancy socks.
I can't wait.
I can't wait.
You know, my podcast is out there now.
Yes.
And so I'm not familiar with technology,
but I guess you just swipe up.
Yeah.
And then my podcast, it just starts.
Well, I mean, yeah, well, yeah, you could,
yeah, you could swipe up like this. Or just look for Conan O'Brien, and each of your friends. Yeah, then my podcast to just I mean yeah, well yeah, you would you could yeah, you could swipe up like or just look for Conan O'Brien
And he's a friend yeah, which is on any of your podcasting apps. I suspect I don't know
I thought it was just a swipe or else isn't there an app where you can just think of what you want about this how about this
Hey Siri because a lot of people are gonna be listening. Hey Siri. So I'm activating people's series right now download Conan O'Brien
Needs a friend podcast. And subscribe.
And I'll help you out right here and I'll go,
Hey Alexa, download and subscribe
to Conan O'Brien needs a friend podcast.
It's fantastic.
I didn't know these things even existed.
Well, we're at it though.
Hey Alexa, buy the house on Blu-ray DVD.
One click purchase.
Sorry.
Just like you make sure.
And this shows up on the radio.
It's available. Our show is available. 96. Sorry. Just like you mentioned. And this shows up on the radio.
It's available. Our show is available. 96.9.
Our show is that traffic looking pretty rough out there on the 101 hot takes in the afternoon with coated up right needs of red. We are the only zoom exclusive podcast.
So you can only get us on a zoom, which means you have to find a zoom but then once you have it
Yeah, you're in your own baby Conan
So we have watched Lucas talking to which was the sequel to Lucas talking so we have kind of dipped our
Toe into this universe so we brought you in here to kind of wrap up the trilogy. Okay, let me tell you my first
Impression. Yeah, I have not watched the first movie, Lucas Talking,
or Lucas Talking, too.
Two.
T-O-O, by the way.
T-O-O, I have not watched either one of those.
So this experience to me, it's as if you two,
you three were inoculated.
You gradually got to dip your toes in
and adjust to a universe where babies talk
and shouldn't talk and are sentient.
And then, so for you, this was not shocking,
this third movie.
To me, having not seen the first two,
but it was shocking, but I understand your point,
absolutely.
My point is that I went in cold. I went in cold, not having seen the first two. It was shocking, but I understand your point, absolutely. My point is that I went in cold.
Yeah.
I went in cold, not having seen the other two
and needed medical attention after.
Yeah.
So this is a very...
I did some responsibility there.
That must have been hard.
Yeah.
Thank you for honoring my feelings.
Absolutely.
I will tell you one thing.
If you were to think that these movies would kind of heighten each other, they don't,
they throw out the core conceit of the Likus talking movies because in the first two,
it's about the baby's talking.
And now these dogs talk in this, but the dogs don't seem to really play an integral
role in the family dynamic.
They have been so strange.
So, yes, I would say from the poster, you would think the dogs are the main characters in the movie.
Yeah.
And driving the plot, they are not in this film.
No, this is still another movie about the marital,
like horrific marital strife between the characters
of John Travolta and Kirstie Alley,
who once again, seem on the precipice of divorce
for the third time in six years.
I do believe that this is like if Arthur Miller came to Hollywood,
they're like, you have to do a talking baby movie
because it feels like this couple is,
yes, they're not well.
Yeah, they're going that.
Well, and in the movie's defense,
what I think works about Luke who's talking now
is that you found something that works.
I don't think something works with a movie.
I think Travolta and Kirstie Alley
have phenomenal chemistry.
They do.
There is a Ross, there is a Ross sexual chemistry.
There is exexuality happening between
and two of us.
There's like, yeah, just for that as well, Jim.
Yeah.
There's something going on.
They love each other.
They love working together.
You can tell.
Yes. They love dancing together. I was gonna say that dance sequence really hit that.
We have in time with our lives.
It seems like they're having so much fun that people are like, don't even worry about the script or the jokes.
It's just gonna ride on your own charisma. And I think that is where the movie is
hitting into a rough patch. Because it...
For a plot, we found this problem too.
You can't really go, well, what's the first act
of this movie, what's the problem?
Let's start once again with a sexy.
Right.
It starts once again with a sexy and the animated sequence
of the eggs chasing after, I mean, the sperm chasing after
are getting to an egg, right?
Yes, yes.
Now in this movie, is that dog sperm and a dog?
Yes, yes it is.
And now I want to jump in here.
In the first movie, it was human's thing.
Of course.
Yes, well, first of all, I don't want to get too much into it, but it works pretty much the
same with any man.
I know, I know, I know, okay.
Children going in, so.
Yeah, I would love it if you could explain this thing.
And you would be talking about this kind of stuff on your podcast.
Yes, yes, listen, it's not a big leap.
Jason to say that, yes, that is dog sperm going to a dog egg.
But the thing that blows my mind and I'm assuming that it happens in the first movie is that
the sperm is completely sentient.
Yes.
The sperm as it's headed towards the egg is Danny DeVito saying, get out of my way, you
guys.
I'm headed to that egg.
Get out of my way, you guys. I'm headed to that egg. Get out of my way. Now, this is a weird thought,
but the sperm has the complete personality already
before it's even hit the egg,
which is basically the filmmakers telling us
that even before it has fertilized the egg,
the sperm, the male contribution,
contains everything that is necessary.
That is a...
The egg doesn't speak. The egg doesn't speak. The male contribution contains everything that is necessary. Correct. That is a war.
The egg doesn't speak.
The egg doesn't speak.
This is totally, totally offensive, I think, in this era of me too.
What is an egg supply if the sperm is already like, let me get in there.
Yeah, I'm dating the fetal.
I got to get over there and fertilize so I can become what I already am.
I need to be there.
There's no, yeah, there's no youthful,
like, heir to that sperm either.
It is fully formed as like an older man.
It's so like all women have like,
you know, are made up majority Danny DeVito.
And I didn't.
Yes.
Yes.
And that's the thing is like for men,
you can produce an unlimited number of Danny DeVito's,
but for a woman, you are born with all of the Danny DeVito's and your body that you'll ever have.
And once a month, you'll slough off a Danny DeVito into a pad or a diva cup.
And last but not least, I say this is why so many women choose to freeze their Danny
DeVito.
And I think that's important.
And if you're listening, that's a responsible step to take.
If you're in your mid 30s, freeze your Danny DeVito.
Yes.
And you know why he's them?
Do you take the edge off your Danny DeVito?
Does your Danny DeVito come out of that freezing process
maybe a little bit more?
No.
No, you don't.
You try taking the edge off Danny DeVito.
He's a street-wise sperm
who's been around the block a few times.
I mean, so that's, that's the really good point.
Because then that dog is born and is just, again,
just any to veto.
There's no other personality.
No.
Yeah.
But the rules of time in this movie
are really concerning because he's a puppy.
He's a puppy and all right, there's so many things.
They break all the rules.
Yeah, they break all the rules because he says things like he's born and he immediately knows
Hey, what's that guy doing over there with that sandwich? Oh, but then he says and what are these two things on my face that I can see with?
Yes, wait a minute. You know a sandwich is but you don't know what your own eyes are. Yeah, this happens all the time in the ones with the babies too
Because they will frequently be well did you they the other thing is like, he's in the house with the poodle,
the Diane Keaton poodle.
And she, at some point, like in the third act,
they go on a date and she says,
what's your name?
And they live in the same house.
Yeah.
And that-
I did think it was funny when he said,
his name was no.
Yeah, she said no, that's just what they say to you.
But like the idea that they are so stupid in some ways,
do you have not picked up on the fact
that they call him rocks?
That's his name.
But she's just like, dude, dude, they will fully withhold
information or give information as if it's just like
for the gag, which is more often than not,
not funny even remotely.
There's also clearly what bothered me is,
I don't know who you're here as dogs.
I've always had dogs.
Dogs have a lot of personality.
These filmmakers went out of their way
to capture these dogs' faces when they weren't emoting
in any possible way.
Literally, like they held up two photographs
of two dogs and just laid ADR tracks under.
I've seen people's Instagram profiles
where their dogs are more emotive than this movie.
At one point, they freeze.
We get you looking a lot of dog Instagrams.
You do, I love it.
No, but there was a one point where they freeze in the doglet
because they can't even keep the dogs still,
but there's nothing about these dogs that are impressive.
And I put it in a little more.
Okay, so I think that was a problem in casting.
Okay. Because I do think the dogs they, and I love dogs too.
I actually hear that dog sub with one of the producers.
I don't think you'll ever get a poodle
that's gonna deliver.
Wow, wow, wow.
Listen, I need to say this.
Hard anti-poodle.
You don't know that you're ever gonna get a poodle.
You're gonna get, you're gonna get so many emails.
I know, I can already see the message.
You're seeing what's lighting up fire.
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be you in a supermarket
anytime in the near future.
You're seeing poodle.
Lady with a four poodles come at you.
You're seeing poodles can't act.
There's always something about a poodles face
that's hard to connect to.
Like, my body doesn't wanna go too up to you.
I agree with you.
Thank you.
But the Danny DeVito dog, there are gazillion other dogs
that could have played that role.
Yeah, the mut.
Yeah, the mut with like a friendly face, that dog.
No, he looked so mutt dog like that.
He didn't seem to be special.
He, look, it's a movie dog.
Get me a movie dog.
I wanna get me a Benji or something.
No, no, they took a dog.
I think as they were writing a script,
a dog wandered by and they said that's the dog.
That's it. That's it.
Rather than looking for the dog.
Yes.
And they also, you know, they didn't.
There'll be a scene where one of the dogs has to be saying something really emotional.
And they literally just took some b-roll of the dog, just with its tongue out,
looking sideways, thinking about lunch.
Yeah.
And they will put that over the dog and it takes you completely out of the movie.
And that's stupid because I was never going to say.
I was just going to say,
No.
You were in the enough.
But I took me completely out of the movie up until then.
I'm on board.
The thing that took me out of the movie was when Danny DeVito's Dog goes over to bite the shoe
He is think well because he's always thinking. It's like what's in the dog's head
But as he's thinking he's also making chewing noises. He's like hmm. This is a good shoe
No, I'm yum yum, but if you're thinking this is a good shoe you wouldn't be making a dog
Yum yum. Well, I do that
That's my
intermonologue when I'm eating and I first movie, what I think is the clever
conceit is you're hearing a baby's thoughts. The second movie, the babies are telepathically
communicating. Oh yeah. Because they're not speaking. And now the dogs also without any movement
are telepathically communicating. And that, I think, takes me out of the whole thing. And all the dogs, all animals talk.
We live now in a world in which everything has sentience
and the ability to talk to each other.
I really, at a certain point, was like,
is there gonna come a point where the babies can hear the dogs?
Like that's where I started to get, yeah.
But also, why not, why aren't we hearing,
there's other creatures?
Why aren't we hearing, when they're in a pond? Why aren't we hearing, there's other creatures. Why aren't we hearing, when they're in a park?
Why aren't we hearing squirrels saying,
you know, look over there, there's those dogs.
I tell you, that looks like Danny DeVito.
Why aren't we hearing cloud saying, I'm a cloud.
I mean, it's just, like, people who play house,
everything should be a lot of the poffly voices.
These are the kind of voices that you're doing
on Conan O'Brien needs a friend, right, the podcast?
It's mostly character.
It's, I mean, yes, and.
Yes, sorry, yes, and there'll be more of that.
What is this gonna be?
What is this gonna be?
I love dogs.
I also love children.
Oh, wow.
Wow, it's a big thing.
There was something off about the little girl.
The girl, oh, yes, the girl.
I cannot, I've been waiting for someone to bring this up.
Something's very wrong with her.
I think you said it's very wrong.
Yes.
And I'll tell you this one.
She's being left alone a lot.
Yes.
She's in like, in danger.
They are in that Peter Pan.
They are terrible parents.
Terror.
Time and time again. When they're on the tarmac of an airport,
a functioning airport,
the kids run in two different directions
and they don't move their head.
Like my kid,
like these are kids who were left in an apartment on fire.
That's the second one.
By the other,
you just lost me.
You just lost me.
These kids have gone through more traumatic events
in these five years.
Well, and by the way, for her,
it's catching up with her.
Like, she is not a well child.
She has a sexual awakening
watching Charles Berkeley
by basketball, which I felt also comfortable watching.
Can we talk about the doll?
She has a Charles Berkeley doll,
which clearly she didn't purchase.
She made it herself.
Who would now win a, well, you don't.
Why do you say that?
Because that was not, that was commercially available.
Charles Barkley doll.
Are you saying that because you would have had it if it had been?
It's like I think we all would have had it.
It's a Charles Barkley like raggedy and an Andy.
Like that's what it looks like.
It's not like, it's not like an action figure.
It's like a comfy soft, yeah.
I'll put it out there in the universe.
If anyone can find the store that sold,
the Charles Barkley Raggedy,
Raggedy Andy doll,
that wears a sun's jersey,
I'm buying you a beer
and I'm delivering it to you in person.
It didn't ever exist.
So this girl had that made or made it herself.
And, and they're also concerned that she, to in person, it didn't ever exist. So this girl had that maid or made it herself.
And they're also concerned that she,
not only they can, well this is what they say.
They say when they're talking about her
being afraid of watching basketball,
they're like, here, this is a little clip.
Uh,
snap that out of her money.
What you worried about that take yet?
It's good.
It's good.
Would a passer to Julie?
Up she goes.
She scores a 100 million points.
Well, that's all girls I'm obsessed with ponies and mermaids.
Not big sweaty men making thumbs up.
We'd be worried.
Should be angry.
Yes.
Oh, it's the sun's high here.
Where the mavericks I'd be worried.
So there's a couple of things here.
Like why would they be worried that she's, I guess she's off of fulfilling gender norms?
No, they should be worried
because there's something off about her.
There's just something off about her.
They should be very worried.
When they show her staring, first of all,
she sits very close to the TV and she's unattended
and she watches TV for a long period of time
and then she fantasizes about Charles Barkley
and it's her expression.
Yes.
Yes.
This is what you've been trying to get to is,
I mean, her expression is disturbance.
It's uncomfortable to watch.
And I've looked at her now.
She's a normal, healthy actress.
And I wanted to make sure that we were gonna be-
A normal, healthy actress.
I was gonna say, I just like,
I'm looking at her, I wanted to make sure
I wanted to see where it all went to
because she's staring at that TV like the scene
in poltergeist, something that's possessed her.
Yeah, and it looks and I think she...
Okay, the expression in her eyes, Paul,
is like she's gone away.
Yes.
Like she is not there.
There's what's supposed to be happening
behind a child's eyes is not present in her eyes.
Well, it's almost as if they shot her thinking they might still use Rosie O'Donnell's voice.
Actually, Rose Embar.
Oh.
To add her thoughts in.
Yeah, that's interesting.
So that it's just like, she does appear to be a blank slate to just put jokes into,
but maybe they just didn't do that or I don't know what.
But because I agree, there's just long periods where
in the previous movie, she would just be jokes would just be flying fast about what she's
watching on TV, about what the thing is.
No, but I can fly jumping up on the bookcases and so forth.
Okay, when she gets up on the way, it was in the background.
In the background of Chris Diallys.
I don't know how to talk about it.
Just like this in the, also Chris Di does not have the reaction of, no, if one of
your children at that age climbs and they're 15 feet in the air and they leap and you
happen to turn just in time and catch them and save them from being paralyzed for life
or dead, you don't recover that quickly.
No. Dad, you don't recover that quickly. Christy always catches her and goes, whoa!
What's up with you, fly girl,
as opposed to shrieking, oh my God,
you almost died, you're crying.
You're crying!
Honey, what were you doing?
Flying.
Flying, how do you can't fly?
But those people care.
What, that is, make believe any remember, Flying, how do you can't fly? But those people can. What?
That is make believe,
I don't even remember when we had our discussion
about make believe.
But the best of all, man, is make believe,
and they can fly.
Oh, and he said what you like the most,
you think they can fly?
They can't fly either,
but they can jump really, really high.
But this is like, and I mean this,
in the second movie, the children are in an apartment
that is engulfed in flames.
All right.
If you're gonna talk about another movie, I'm going.
You know what?
Oh, whoa, whoa.
We're gonna post pause on this right now.
We're gonna watch the other movie.
I hate watching.
I hate great, hold on.
We're gonna pause and I'm gonna see both other movies.
Hold on.
Okay, we're back.
We're back.
Though you, yeah, the flames, we're back. We're back. Though you, yeah, got the flames, man.
Crazy.
Those are flames.
These children need to be removed from this household.
Well, I mean, first of all, both, well, look,
the dad is making a very big wage being a private pilot
to a CEO.
This is a storyline that we are following from each movie.
He is a cab driver and a pilot. And now he's full on just pilot.
He's tough to go back and forth.
The reason they drive a cab is because in the original movie,
he's just a cabbie.
And she gives birth in the back seat of his cab.
Because she was having an affair with George Segal
who does make a very brief cameo appearance him.
It wasn't him.
It wasn't him.
It wasn't him.
No, that was George Segal.
It was. Yeah, that was George Segal. That was George Segal. That was him. Oh, okay him. It wasn't him. No, that was George. It was.
That was George.
Yeah, that was George.
Anything like him.
That was George Segal.
Oh, okay.
I think it's Segal.
Segal.
You're thinking of Segal.
I'm thinking of Stephen Segal.
I thought it was Stephen Segal.
I thought it was the play, the Segal.
But why would he even agree to appear in such a limited thing?
All right, well, you love my character as the flandering accountant in the movie one.
Why is Diane Keaton in this movie?
Like, what's going on?
The second movie was the other question.
I'll just recognize her voice.
The other question.
They have Diane Keaton.
Yeah.
They get George Segal.
Yeah.
Segal.
Segal.
I'm sorry, George.
It's, they get George Segal.
There are really no cameos for a movie
that should be chock full of cameos.
Olympiode to go.
They couldn't.
They got Olympiode to caucus,
but you look at all these other roles
and even the voice over roles,
how easy is it to get anybody?
They couldn't get anyone to do it.
Well, the first movie, huge hit,
Ellen expected, the second movie, huge flop.
And then they go, let's double down again
This is 1993 this is a year before Pulp fiction comes out. So either
He's shooting that right after this or John Travolta shot right before like this is a weird
Moment in time because it seems like they just really want to do this movie together and be these characters and yeah
That fun. I mean
movie together and be these characters and have that fun. I mean, not if they can. That's how finance. Oh, no, you know, you don't think they want to work
for fun. Travolta does donate his own planes to these movies. That is a true fact.
I have another question. Travolta always in the cockpit alone. That's a violation of
FAA regulations. For small private turn. Yes, He seems to fly those planes completely on his own.
Yes, there need to be two pilots.
Because he's a hero.
They need to be two pilots.
You never see another pilot.
And also, they need to rest in between.
That is a law.
He is constantly the premises.
He's being forced to fly non-stop alone.
Now I'm in Paris.
Now I'm in Boston.
Just for private, like a business client,
like it's not like he is being,
he's not like he's a pilot who is jumping around
for all these different flights.
No, it is one person he's flying everywhere constantly,
who's sexually obsessed with him.
And by the way, do you get that?
Do you get like why she would be so into him?
Is he displayed any characteristics that would connect the two of them?
They set up also that she's on the cover of Fortune 500.
Fortune 500.
Yeah.
And so, and she's this very attractive, very sexy woman who's a mogul.
And her only option for a man, her only option is the former cab driver with the corny jokes.
Father of two, who's life is falling apart constantly.
I think this is though,
that classic late 80s, early 90s representation
of a woman in a leadership position, right?
Where she's sex crazed,
wants to, doesn't care about family life, doesn't. That's a lost family life Doesn't yeah, like a real big man on Christmas Eve. Yeah, yeah, she her office is linchian in and like
Oh, no, yeah, she's where is that her office was
Like a mausoleum. Yeah, office is like Jared Leto's house in Blade Runner 249.
They go to such lengths to avoid of emotion or any personal connection.
They don't ever seem to be having fun together.
All the fun they're having is off screen, which is another weird thing because she's like,
oh, she's joking with me because she bought me this jacket.
She told me about this restaurant.
And then that makes Kristi Alley so furious,
but doesn't seem like John Travolta ever is queued in.
Like, John Travolta's character seems
like the dumbest person of all time.
Yeah, he doesn't see us in no way.
Yeah, until they get to the cabin that like,
uh-oh, wait, are you trying to do something?
Wait, I'm manning.
Exactly.
And then quickly turns on her.
And it's like, I'm so embarrassed.
I shouldn't have,
I would don't know why I would think that.
But then just sees the phone unplugged
and immediately puts it all together
and is like, you're a terrible person.
My dog's gonna pee on you
and one of the most disturbing scenes in the whole movie,
just seeing, I thought that was erotic.
When the dog pee's on the mean woman,
she's sitting there and laughing.
Yeah, that's a thing for me.
I'm gonna send you some videos, just click on them.
Oh, I have them.
And just click on them.
No, no, no, no, you cannot show me any dog peeing.
Believe me.
Sex video that I have not seen.
I've got some real juicy stuff.
By the way, why didn't she move?
When the dog is peeing on her leg, she stands there
and takes it.
She's into it.
She's, you know, and also, it's this sort of like
that old classic Vodvilian bit where you and I are feuding and I take your tie and I take out the
Sisters and what I've always wondered about that and I cut it and you stand there as I do it rather than moving back
Right, she's standing there doing a slow burn as the dogs urine
Just essentially rolling down her leg. Am I going to a dark place here?
Not at all. Let's move more live on this place.
It's a movie that just aggressively doesn't make sense
at every step of the way.
I know it's a small detail, but I hate movies where it's
like it's Christmas Eve, but yet that company's having
a full blown office party on Christmas Eve.
I get a Christmas party at an office.
I don't get the Christmas Eve party there.
I also feel dumb. Things are said, I'm making him party at an office. I don't get like the Christmas Eve party there. I also feel like dumb things are said like,
I'm making him a clam souffle.
Yeah, that's like, I flow right that down too.
No one's ever made a clam souffle and no one ever will.
Oh, it's the God.
If I ever am lucky enough in my life
to find a woman to marry me
and she makes me a clam souffle,
I will straight dump her in that very moment, and I will not ever look back.
I will light a small fire in our home,
and I will walk in your way.
It sounds like a new window, doesn't it?
Yeah, it doesn't.
It sounds like, you know, like,
hey, if you're good, you're gonna get yourself
a clam souffle, and it doesn't mean anything
that would think it means.
Yum, yum, yum, clam souffle.
Again, I feel that this home movie is done in ADR,
like they just like, they get in there, and they're like, just record a bunch. Again, I feel that this home movie is done in ADR. Like they just like, get in there
and they're like, just record a bunch of lines.
We'll make it all work later on.
There's another thing too, which is,
it mourned the zone of Kirstie Allie
as terrible, terrible mom.
And I don't know if you go in order
if we're jumping around.
No, please.
She thinks that her husband is cheating on her
and is in a cabin up in the woods.
So she grabs her children and her two dogs.
Yeah. From their safe home.
Home. From their safe home and racism.
On Christmas Eve and races up into what we've been told
is a snow storm that's so crippling, nothing can move.
Yeah. And goes racing.
And then in fact, does spin out,
roll down a hill and crash into a tree.
Yes, yeah.
In like the woods, child services would be,
would remove the children's truck.
It is a literal death sentence where they find themselves.
In the woods, down an embankment, crash against a tree,
and she's in there with the kids like opening presence. And I wrote down, I was like, oh, in this mint, crash against a tree, and she's in there with the kids like opening presents.
And I wrote down, I was like, oh, in this moment,
she's decided we're gonna die here.
I'm just gonna let them open their presents.
They were opening presents.
They were opening presents.
Yeah, because she was dressing them.
Yeah, in like, she was like, really dark.
It was, and I was like, oh, she's just decided
this is where we're gonna die.
It's like in Titanic, with the kids.
Yeah, in the mom is like playing with the kids in the bed.
Exactly.
Yeah.
I don't know.
She is saying this is it.
Yeah.
It's been a great run.
She is waiting for death.
We're it not literally for the dogs
interceding in their situation.
Kirstie Allie was prepared to just sit.
Freeze to death.
To freeze to death in Blizzard in a 1980s taxi with her two children.
Now, I think this is a good time to discuss the wolves.
Yes, because the wolves are disturbing in the...
What do we think?
I mean, look, let's just play a clip of the wolves' voices just to get out.
The wolves are like a gang of evil wolves.
Correct.
We're meant to.
Yeah, this is... Take a listen to... We can... Yeah, here we go.
M-Miles on wheels.
Mommy's on another doggy.
That's no dog, kid.
Hey there, mama. On you way to grandma's house.
So the wolves know about fairy tales
So the wolves know enough to know that like
Lord to grandma's house means that's wool where wolves eat you know sure well read
Yeah, that's true
Actually went to college with some wolves and the wolves are speaking to her as if she can hear it
Not gonna like look at this stupid here, yeah, and look their voices are
you can hear it, not gonna look at this stupid hearing. And look, their voices are,
they're definitely making a choice about the voices,
but I don't know which stereotype I should be offended.
It's kind of like writing the border
of a couple different stereotypes.
It's like, what is this voice of,
hey, they're mama, I don't know what is going on.
I don't double down on that when War will show up.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
And it's, yeah, it's, I found that again, again, I was enthralled and then that took me
out.
Oh, it's an interesting choice.
These wolves are, I mean, by the way, then they show you a full on dog and wolf fight
in this movie.
Like, I think that dog died.
I think the real dog there was vicious.
I've never seen, like there's no CGI there.
That is a...
That happened and that was troubling because it's like, for this movie and I think I hope
both dogs were safe and that someone, a representative from whatever was on the hands.
I think great care was taken through everything in this movie.
Even if those dogs had to fight,
like the fact that those dogs,
two dogs fought physically for this film.
Here's, here's, we have to,
and that's the climax for the children's film
to watch a dog in a wolf's house.
That's the thing is,
this is not a children's film.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
It's not a children's film.
It's an erotic thriller for a dog.
It starts with sperm shooting into an egg.
They debunk Santa 15 times.
Oh yeah, you're right.
Immediately.
This movie is filled with sexual innuendo.
Yes, this is not a film.
This is not a film.
It's PG 13, but everything about it
would make you think this is a children's film.
When Kierstie Ali has her kids in the back of that cab.
And the dog rocks is fighting,
well, you can see,
but we think it's perhaps to the death with that wolf.
Yes.
She has her kids in the window watching,
going, come on, rocks, come on.
You know, you should shield your children's eyes
from watching their dog be murdered.
I just want to go back if it's not a kids movie.
So this isn't a movie for adults So this is a movie for adults.
This is a movie for no one.
Yeah, because this is a movie that has ingeniously,
it's as if you asked a computer, make a movie that no
demographic could watch.
And the computer would a really good computer.
I mean, the best in the world.
The smartest.
The smartest.
The smartest.
And it works for a year.
It would come up with this movie because it is enticing children, but also saying no.
I mean, even if you're a sports fan, it's not a movie for dogs.
And if you're a sports fan, one of the reasons that she wants to fly is because she's
watched Charles Barkley fly by jumping some high.
He is, if you know anything about basketball, the most earthbound NBA star of all time.
So no, he is not, he's not Michael Jordan, he's the antithesis of Michael Jordan.
They went down a list and Charles Barkley was like, yeah, I'll do it.
I think they shot it without his knowledge.
What I just want to talk about the timeline in the film.
She gets fired pretty early in the movie, Christie Alley.
And then she gets a job as an elf in a department store.
Right. At the same time, the dog is being adopted by this biker gang.
It does a very dangerous sleep off the back of a biker thing.
And then the dog is full grown. Full grown. Full grown now.
And Christmas is still we're we're still heading towards Christmas.
I mean, the month of December is five years long.
Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
It makes no sense.
It's like, wait, the kids don't, the kids don't eat.
It doesn't, a year hasn't passed, right?
Well, it seems like a lot of time.
I mean, the dogs are aging rapidly.
So we're just basically saying this whole movie takes place
during December.
I think, and I think in two months.
Yeah, and also you brought up a few things we need to address right away.
You brought up that Kirstie Alley is fired and they have established that she is very high
up in the company.
Yes.
And a top accountant and it is tax season, which they keep saying.
Right.
You know, it's the end of the year.
She is highly qualified and she became too expensive
for this company.
Her only recourse is to work as an elf immediately.
Immediately.
Immediately.
She said that she's done every job
that she could possibly do.
Really?
She has, and what you don't know Conan,
is that her entire family is accountants,
her both of her parents and her brother.
So you're saying she has no recourse,
she has nobody to reach out to,
to be like, hey, can I pick up some,
it's tax season.
Or as the movie taught us from frame one,
the female supplies the egg,
which has nothing in it, no personality,
and no ability.
And we see now that it's true,
Kristie Ali had attained this position,
but the minute it's taken from her,
by a male dominated society,
she has to become an elf in a mall.
She has to enter into, like,
perhaps the greatest patriarchy of all,
the North Pole Santa's workshop.
I'm not gonna go down that road.
That's, you lit, no, this and that.
That's what I'm talking about.
You wanna talk about topple the patriarchy?
Let's start with the big man at the top Santa Claus.
And you know, Mrs. Claus, she pulls the strings.
And then of course, John Travolta, who knows not much about his wife,
just assumes that he's having an affair with the mall Santa like that's his...
Oh, in their fantasy sequence?
The fantasy sequence in the movie.
The dream sequences are awesome.
So basically, both Kierste Alley and John Travolta are having nightmares about their partners
cheating on them. But then we're watching that in split screen and then it goes to like a quarter
screen where we're seeing them sleeping on their dreams above them and then their dreams intersect.
Yes, they step through. I think it was Christy, John Travolta, I think steps through the
line separating their dream sequences.
Yes.
So he's with her, which means, I don't know what it means.
So they're having a joint dream like the matrix.
They're having like a shared lucid dream, which is impossible.
I'm going to say this.
The third Matrix movie makes more sense to me.
Yes.
Then this child's tale about talking dogs.
I agree.
The rave in that movie now makes complete sense in the face of this.
How did this get me?
How did this get me?
I mean, again, this should be a very simple movie.
They should have just changed directions.
Why have two dogs?
They just over-complicated every element of this movie.
I would have preferred a movie.
What was that Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson movie about?
Marley, I was great.
Yeah, that was a great movie.
That was that movie.
I loved it.
I would have preferred a movie about...
You know Marley and me, Marley thought his name was No.
You didn't really.
Also, he was played by Danny DeVito.
But that's a dog I can make you answer.
He did all the dialogue and we're not gonna use it,
but we use it to inform, like, yeah.
But why not?
Danny DeVito was on set as the dog.
Like Scarlett Johansson and her.
Yeah.
But why not write a movie where this family is feeling
the pressures of their finances and you know
we're down to one income and we are under a lot of stress. It's Christmas time. Do we have
the money to give our kids the Christmas they want and then have a dog enter the situation
to kind of bring them all back together. And also uproot things too, which is not bad.
Yes, it's caused total chaos and then like re-center everybody
and remind them of their core values.
That is not what happens in this movie.
And you can still have the dog talking.
I think you just got the job for the rewrite.
Did I really?
Yeah, for the reboot.
Wow, is it on deadline or should I just now?
It's not.
It's not a real line.
It's breaking right now.
They're only going to reboot the third one,
not any of the other two. It's like right now that they're only going to reboot the third one not any of the other two
It's like a new Halloween. There's gonna be a sequel but the only this movie
But it is it could be such a simple movie and it's so but I think we know from this series
They don't do things simply these guys they get in a room. Who are days well payo and they're like let's do this no no amie heckling
wrote the first movie so look who's talking her characters are what she gets
a credit for this
i'm sorry so amie heckling had nothing to do with no just a lot better
the writer director of the first movie first movie makes you know a hundred
million dollars this one more i thought yeah this one the writer is of blind date
overboard lover boy
Okay, pay it forward the new freaky Friday and the new hairspray so that person's written a lot
But it is it feels like I mean the I don't know
It's confounding to me. It's confounding.
Oh, yeah.
There's a strange also way in which they are,
they allow the family to truly be broken down on gender lines.
Yeah.
The Travolta almost never interacts with the daughter
and Kirstie and I almost never interact with Mikey.
When she does the sun recoils.
Like, no, no, we don't.
And Travolta calls, he's like,
let me talk to Mikey.
Yeah. It's like, we need to have a business talker.
I'm like, what?
He's not interested in talking to Julie.
I don't think he's overcompensating
for not being Mikey's biological father.
Okay, that's the truth.
So yeah.
I did find that out.
Because when she does do that drop,
he goes, well, you had an affair with him.
But you can't call someone on their affair
that they had not in your relationship.
But he just was a cab driver who picked her up.
You have a once in a cheater, babe.
All right.
That's true.
No, I, I, I, wow.
Do you really lay down there long?
Wow.
Wow.
You know what?
It's, we should all listen to that's, and the way you set it.
Oh, it's, uh way you said it uh...
it's uh...
you know i don't make the rules that's just
uh...
but here's the other thing to we talk about her being trapped in the middle of the
woods
this is nineteen ninety three there are cell phones
i know i did not understand why after flying that executive his CEO to her airport why he had to personally drive her to that driver there because
when he was a driver right there was a driver so why didn't he get back in the car and just go why didn't he just stay at the airport
I have another question yeah he she had to get to that cabin and he had to flyer in this
He she had to get to that cabin and he had to fly her in this
Seven yeah Kristie Ali jumps in a car with the kids and is there in an hour. Yeah, yeah, what do you understand?
Where is this place? Did she did one of them go through did the car that Kristie always in go through a wormhole?
Yeah, get there faster than what you missed in the first two movies is there are portals
Yeah, there are portals in this
missed in the first two movies is there are portals. There are portals in this. Also, this is a full side by movie. This is, yeah, this is, that girl is alien. Also, one of the best
moments in the movie is the entire family, Kristie Alley and the children, we'll not
be entirely. Kristie Alley and children are saved by rocks. Rocks single-handedly goes
out and he attacks, he fights off this wolf and saves their lives and
gets an entry to himself.
At the end when they're on the cabin and he's injured rocks is there.
She, Christi Alley only says we can keep the dog because he sits.
He sits when he's told to sit.
That's the deciding factor.
Not that he saves children at the drop of a hat
Not that not that he did what she would be incapable of doing she was saving her children
She got back in there. Yeah, but all of that wasn't enough
No, she was worried about them shoes. Yeah, I mean look. That's what she likes. She likes those shoes
I they there was the end of the end of the movie is here are two people both unemployed. Yeah
With a wrecked car and they're spending Christmas in a ranger station. This is not a happy ending
This is like I do think she also emotionally abused these kids
She keeps on telling them that it's Christmas even that Santa's gonna come deliver presents there.
How?
Yeah, he'll be there.
Well, I mean, I think that she was gonna have those presents.
But where were the presents?
In the camp.
Yeah, they had them in the camp.
Yeah.
So she, but she can get back to that camp.
Oh, you mean at the end of the movie,
in the Rangers cabin, you mean?
Yes, the Rangers cabin.
I think she was just going to,
she was planning to just give them Rangers gear.
Yeah, you know.
To steal stuff from the shelf.
Just wrap it up.
Look at this, a kerosene lamp.
You always wanted a kerosene lamp.
Oh, yeah, I guarantee you.
Kirstie Alley and John Travolta are gonna kill that Ranger
and they're gonna just leave in that situation.
By the way, where was that Ranger?
John Travolta enters in with oddly placed snow
on the one lapel of the jacket.
Yes, like spray paint.
Yeah.
And then the Ranger is never seen again.
No, he goes, wait, look at this.
And then he goes on the radio and pulls out
like sleigh bells at the very end.
Which is also odd because is the ranger in on creating
a Santa myth or a Santa real?
This movie positive, this movie where Santa is real at the end, too?
You know what's going gonna be the next movie
starts with Santa's sperm. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I love these presents, but what's this white thing hanging from my chin?
The plans for the first person have been, I have to, I'm just a stickler, but there's
one line that really stuck with me that goes way back to the beginning, which is when
John Travolta goes in and sees rocks for the first time, rocks is about to be put down,
rocks is about to be euthanized and killed.
And there, this guy, this caricature of a mean person who works,
is leading rocks by, he has like a new surround his neck
and he's leading him into this room where they,
where they kill dogs.
And the boy says, oh my God, that's the dog I want,
that's the dog I want.
And John Travolta says, we wanna get that dog.
And the guy says, no, this dog is scheduled to be destroyed.
This is right.
And I loved, I loved for that moment that
any person with common sense is like,
well yeah, if you want it, take the,
he's, his joy isn't killing the dogs,
it would be the last resort.
Yeah.
It's like to kill the dog.
But I just thought there's that line.
It's just like, no, this dog is to be destroyed.
I would love it if they just in the background you saw a dog in a room just be
Exploded like if they just like put half a stick of dynamite down the dogs through
This is the walls are just
But what skin is it off this guy to give this man
You don't like this guy should be like great. I don't have to do this thing right now. No, no, no
He was pissed because he's got a he's got a quota he's got a blow up 35
dogs an hour if my boss comes back and I have exploded the right
work it's my ass on the line again not to be the logic police in this movie but
the dog only first see him is eating liver in like the prison
side of the pound.
And they are all the other dogs like, oh, he's eating liver.
That means he's going to be killed.
But they're acting like prisoners that are there for like the long term.
Yeah.
And he's like going right to death.
He's on the throne.
But those dogs would also eventually they will be exploded as well.
Yeah.
Everyone's getting excited.
Are you aware that there was a German like separate
and it speaks like Colonel Clayton?
I've had a German accent.
He's like, how was just following all of this?
And then what kid is supposed to enjoy
a Nazi prison guard joke?
And then of course the two hours,
I was like, hey man, you want to love it?
You want to get it?
It's like, oh man, the stereotype factory
in there with the binoculars.
Oh, and the Scottish Terriers, like,
oh, be caution, be call, you know.
Um, everybody, every accent gets represented.
My favorite thing was when Kirstie Alley is fired
from the IRS or whatever the tax agency
she's working for is she, and she's so nervous.
That's when she's, that's the scene in which she says
she's gonna, she's gonna make him a clam souffle
because she knows he's not gonna get souffle because she knows he's not gonna
get the job because she knows he's gonna blow it at the job interview that he's at.
She's fired.
And her instinct is to go collect her kids and go to his job interview and almost ruin
it.
Which is still happening.
Question by the way, how would he, how would you even found that out?
Okay, I'm fired and freaked out.
Let me call where my husband is going to get a drink.
Okay, he's either.
No, no, they actually went to the airport
to look at the plane.
Okay, what airport?
Okay, white planes?
Okay, great, I'm on my way.
What?
Why?
Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.
It doesn't seem she cares for the welfare of her children.
No.
I mean, now they really do need this job.
They either onto the tarmac of a working airport because she's like,
we're here now, I got fired.
And there's like a heavy metal band on wrestling in the background.
They both make insane choices.
So when she's getting him dressed for that interview and he's like,
going back and forth on what terrible outfit to wear,
why wouldn't he just wear his pilot stripes? Yeah.
This pilot uniform.
Yeah, yeah, it's good.
Why is he arriving for this interview in this insane suit?
I also just find it weird that you would have a sit-down interview with a pilot like that
you'd be like, all right, so tell me what, what, what, what, like, she's looking over
his reference.
He's like, oh, you flew for this person.
But also.
It does seem like a very, it seems.
No. It seems super casual because he'd be like, she was like, some people recommended you and he's like, oh, you flew for this person. And it seems like a very, it seems. It seems super casual,
because he'd be like,
she was like some people recommended you.
And he's like, oh, really?
I have no idea who.
And can I see?
She shows, and he's like, oh, Mike,
Mike's a great guy.
I was like, these are like CEOs or something
that are like, he's reliable.
And it's all because he's like a charming guy
who like tells funny jokes.
I guess to me, if I were to hire a private jet,
the only questions I'm asking are,
have you crashed any planes?
What is your flight record?
That's all I need to know.
And have you cheated on anyone?
Yeah, of course.
That's all I need to know.
Because I'm a, I read, run a Fortune 500 company,
I look like a model, I'm 30,
and I just can't see the new guy.
And by the way, is she that bad?
I said to Jim before she gets to the cabin,
before she really turns evil, is she that bad?
I mean, is she exhibiting anything that is not just a nice
boss?
She's totally fine.
She's totally giving him opportunities.
She's like, you know, she's calculating.
Sure.
She's really calculating.
When she gives them the dog, it's definitely a fuck you.
Also, that is the biggest, I mean, you were not supposed to show up at someone's house
and give them a dog.
That's a huge no-no.
And then they start bringing in the dog's wardrobe.
And do we ever see the dog wearing any of that?
No, but Kirstie Ali starts to wear a piece of the wardrobe when she feels like maybe
this is something that would fit me.
Well, she has such low self esteem.
That's where we, that's someone who goes from running a large company to being a mall
elf, tries, sees dogs clothing and says, I wonder if that'll fit me.
Mike, here's the thing.
But also not even low self esteem, weird body body image to body dysmorphia to be like
Like to try to like to try it. This is what I deserve
It was nice outfit. It wasn't nice outfit
My thing was I would like I would have loved if this movie came full circle and
Kirstie Alley we end with Travolta doing whatever history and Kirstie Alley is now the cab driver
We have access to a city of New York City. We're still in New York City. We're still in New York City. We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City.
We're still in New York City. We're still in New York City. We're still in New York City. We're still in New York City. We're still in New York City. Yeah, the one that would be very happy to get that cat back on the road. Apparently, the senior pizza is a reference to an earlier film that the writers wrote that
starred Kirstie Alley.
Oh, fine.
Oh, one other thing, when they meet at the restaurant, the fancy restaurant that John
Travolta did.
The friends won't appear.
Lelya's all, they misspell it.
It's misspelled on the menu.
They call it layoson.
Amazing.
That's the menu. They call it Layoson. Amazing. That's the best.
Well obviously we had an opinion about this movie but there are people out there
with a different opinion and it is now time for second opinions. movie was a piece of shit yet this person recommends it
tell me what is the message
maybe that art is subjective
i need a second opinion
that of course is john lajoua with his second opinion song
let's get into it these are five star reviews called from amazon these are people that love the movie so much that not only do
the think it's great but they wrote a five star review on amazon dot com this first one
is by joanne edwards oh wait a second we just got some breaking news here
i don't know that it's not it right jason just googled charles barkley doll
uh... that is not the same it's not the Googled Charles Barkley-Dal.
That is not the same. It's not the same, but it's not the same.
It's close.
No, it's not close and it's, yeah.
No, go find.
The biggest difference is that this dial
that Jason pulled up is a bendy toy.
The dial that's featured in the movie is a soft toy.
Also, the face of the doll in the movie is crazy looking.
Yes, the doll in the movie is crap.
Ponding, yes.
Ponding.
I'm just gonna pull it up for all of us to just look at one more time.
There is the face of the doll.
You can all see it.
Yeah, I know, that's very scary.
Yeah, that is a scary.
Clearly, they don't have a doll for him, but they needed to give her some representation.
So in the movie, I'm sure the the the the prop people like will make one
and that's what they came up with but uh... that is a terrifying but we're also
new york it should have been a neck but whatever uh...
alright so joanne edwards rights this is only in two thousand fourteen
our dog ollie
love this movie that's a title
totally cute movie perfect for kids, adults, and dogs.
Our Border Terrier watches TV,
and this movie is one of his favorites.
We just wish they included more Border Terriers in the film,
but it's fun to watch for all of us five-stop.
Well, the key to that is my dog liked it.
Yeah, sure. So, to me, that invalidates everything else, which is she likes her dog to enjoy television.
This is a movie that her dog tolerated.
She is grating on this insane curve.
That person's children should be taken away from her.
Well, I feel like we did find one person that, you know,
logic and jokes go out the window for dogs.
They just are, you know, enough, enough, uh,
their real only complaint is not enough casting choices
that reflect themselves.
Yes, exactly.
They won't represent them.
The Border Colle just wants more Border Colle's.
Otherwise, the movie is flawless.
Yeah.
This is a thing.
Listen, you can't be what you can't see.
This is going to be kind of a recurring theme
in these reviews about dogs.
This is from Scorpio 51 back in 2009,
and it goes simply like this.
But by the way, a lot of these are written around Christmas time.
I don't know what.
Maybe it is a Christmas movie.
Is this going to be the debate?
It's a lot of drinking at Christmas. And you you get sentimental and then you write a five-star
review that you never intended to write. Like all I was thinking like TBS has run out of
all their Christmas movies. Like I think look is talking now is a Christmas. Put it on
31 days of Christmas. We got it. We filled it. We filled the slots. We did it. We win again.
Scorpio 51 writes, I love this show. Well, yeah, yeah, it's a great family,
it's a great family show and it is so cute.
I can sincerely recommend this if you like shows
with animals in them.
Wow.
That's awesome.
Invalidate.
Wow.
Because they say show.
I wish there was more than three two hour episodes.
It's a good show.
Did they just think of the show because they're watching it on their TV
or all movies shows?
2001 is a great show.
All right, this is from a non-named reviewer.
Why is everyone giving one star for this movie?
I rented this movie and it was great.
So yesterday I went to the movie trading company
and they have this movie.
The movie trading company. I don't know. So I tell my mom that I want to buy this movie and what do you think?
My mom bought the movie for me. This movie is so much better than Lukus talking and Lukus talking too.
So don't buy those movies first. You rent those movies first. Because if you buy the first one, then you're going to think that this movie was a waste of money,
which it's not.
And then you're going to put one star on this movie.
And I don't like that.
And this is a must see and a must buy.
And I mean that five stars.
Guess what?
Signed Danny DeVito.
I like that Danny DeVito's mom lit him by the movie.
I just like that.
89 year old Italian mom.
That was written in 2005,
and that child is grown up now
and has some very strong attachment to it.
It looks like just a couple facts about this movie.
It was, like we said, made 93,
the year before Pulp Fiction comes out
in the tagline of the movie.
Anyone want to take a guess?
Anyone want to take a guess on the tagline of the movie.
I'm not going to take a guess on the tagline of the movie.
So it's dogs talking.
No, I mean, their bark is worse than their bite or something.
That's great.
I would argue anything with a pun with a dog would be good.
Yeah, finding their spot.
The tagline is, the world's favorite family is back.
Oh, God.
The world's favorite family.
What?
The world's favorite family. By the way, until I, until this movie, I don't think we've
known Travolta's last name. Yeah. You're, or Bikio. Yeah.
What I like, they're not a favorite family. If we don't know what their last name is.
It's not, and by the way, that that's, focus is the film and the, it's like we're watching
this family. I don't know. it's not like the wrist walled is like really tuning into the mac and it
may again
these people are unmitigated failures as human beings parents
husband and wife it's a disaster the budget was twenty two million dollars the
opening weekend was four million it made a total of ten million dollars
the first or the top three movies of 93 are Jurassic Park, Mrs. Dow fire in the fugitive,
and it came in the 100th and 9th movie of the year.
It was beaten by Demolition Man, it's a primary brothers, which we did in the show, and this
movie beat Surfing Injust, Mr. Nanny, and Airborne.
So it's a real big year for us.
Just one little fact about the film,
there was plans for a fourth installment of the franchise.
They were gonna do a spin-off with either Mike
or Julie's characters now as adults,
and then they would have their own children
with their own celebrity voices.
Oh, God.
The little boy who played Mikey
would go on to start another Travolta movie phenomenon.
And for those of you Star Trek fans out there,
I particularly liked it when Kirstie Ellie said
that she was part Vulcan,
which is a reference to her character from Star Trek 2,
which she did not reprise in Star Trek 3.
I don't know for other.
Wow.
She played Lieutenant Savick.
Oh boy, we're really starting off.
It's a better thing to do.
It's a really good thing to do it.
Much better than Kim Kertral,
she got the full Vulcan.
You should have quit while you were behind.
Welcome back to Hot Takes of the Polish Year.
Conan, you were here because you have a brand new podcast
dropping this week.
Yeah.
This is a really cool concept.
I remember when you would do these like long form interviews
that you could watch online.
And I always call those serious gibber jabber
and that was mostly with authors and historians.
Yeah.
I like to read.
And so I would just, I'd read a book.
I'd really love it.
And so I'd call it the author.
And we had to talk to him for an hour and a half.
And it was, you know, fun.
It was great.
And so now you're kind of going into this a little bit
in your new podcast.
Also a little bit about it.
Yeah, it's a pretty, it's a conceit.
It's called Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
And the idea is just basically me talking to a lot of
celebrities that I've interviewed over the years
in the talk show format and wondering,
why did it never go beyond that?
You know, why did it not?
And it's actually something that I've thought about
because a lot of the social cues are the same.
They come out, they talk to me, they lock eyes,
they laugh at what I say, I laugh at what they say.
I think we made a connection and then they get an SUV
and I'm told to never contact them again.
So it starts off with that and then we just talk about whatever
and my assistant, Sona, is there my trustee
assistant who has no respect for me or for her job or my job. And it's, so it's a lot of,
I've been shocked at how much fun it is. I mean, it's after all these years of obeying
very strict time cues and making sure that I take care of the gas and that I make sure that everything is just right,
it's nice to go off the rails and let it all hang out.
It's kind of fun.
I love doing these podcasts.
And I think we all do just like to be able to just go off
in any different direction.
It's like, I think that's the most fun.
You get to see people in a very different way.
Because after, I feel like in five minutes or seven minutes,
whatever, everyone has to stay on target a little bit.
So you were talking to great people like Wilferro
and Juan de Psyx and Mark Marin and Ron Funches
and Dex Shepard, Nick Offerman, Megamalli, Bill Burr.
So you have a really great diverse group of people.
Yeah, that's gonna be the first initial lineup.
But I think you've all experienced the same thing here,
which is everyone here is performed
in front of audiences and I love audiences,
but it's a double-edged sword.
Audiences can lead you sometimes, they're giving you,
if they're not giving you anything,
they can sometimes lead you to try harder to
score. That can be a problem, which is fine in a certain venue, but when we're here and
we're just talking amongst ourselves, it's such a nice break.
And so I love it as a counterpoint. I really do love it as a counterpoint to. Well, you are allowed, like, true moments of discovery
and, like, revelatory conversations that, like, can meander
into stuff that you just otherwise, an audience
wouldn't kind of allow for, or you can just kind of build
off of stuff that you wouldn't otherwise, because it's
quiet or whatever. Like, those kind of long-form shows
in a studio are captivating to watch.
I've to listen to, I think, you know.
I also think there's a connection
that people are making.
For example, with your show,
they really get to know you.
And they really get to pick up on your different personalities
and your opinions.
And they get involved in a way that I think
is quite different from if they see you on a television show,
lit a certain way, moving it along, getting to the plug,
making sure that everything is,
and not to put that for my down,
because I absolutely love it, but.
There's an intimacy to this that just doesn't exist, I think, on.
You know, there's an intimacy to radio to everything.
There's something about people having to imagine what's going on, not being able to see it,
not being able to passively watch an interview, but to let it live in their minds eye a little
bit, you know, and that's a lot that I think that's right.
And because we don't wear clothes here, but people are always surprised, but I didn't know.
But you're so much comfortable,
you're more comfortable because you're in your own skin,
literally.
I will say one thing too,
maybe I'm being too bold and sane,
but you also get to pick who you want to have.
You don't have to fill those slots,
so you can basically just have your...
Well, that's a mistake.
Every guest I've talked to,
and there's three a night for 25 years,
has been someone I desperately wanted to talk to,
and who was a person here of mine. So I don't know where you're coming.
Oh, yeah, sorry, I'll dig that back. The show is coming out. Every dropping every Monday,
it started this week. So we're so excited to tune in. I will be there to tune in and listen
and picturing all you and your guest naked. Conan O'Brien needs a friend, a new podcast
here on the Earwolf Network. Or wherever you listen to podcasts. and picturing all you and your guest naked. Conan O'Brien needs a friend, a new podcast here
on the Earwolf Network, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Can I just thank you guys for having me?
I know.
No, no.
No, I didn't mean sincerely.
Oh, good.
I mentioned that kind of show busy way.
Yeah, of course.
Hey, thank you so much.
Let's show that.
This was such a good, you should.
Blessing.
We are so blessed.
No, we are so blessed.
We really connected.
We are so blessed to have you here.
Jason, you want to plug anything?
I would like to plug a movie called The Long Dumb Road
that is, I believe, out right now,
in all likelihood, in New York and LA.
It's also available on demand.
It is myself and Tony Revallori on a, like,
it's like a funny road trip kind of planes trains
and automobiles kind of movie. If you want to see me be silly on theori on a like, it's like a funny road trip kind of plane strains and automobiles kind of movie.
If you wanna see me be silly on the star of a movie,
the long-dumbed road everybody, check it out.
June.
Yeah, the fourth season of Grayson Franky is out right now
to Canwatch and then the next one is coming out in January.
And for me, you can be listening to Unspooled,
a show I do with Amy Nicholson.
We did the first 25 films of the AFI list
and it's just getting so much fun every single episode.
Actually, Conan O'Brien was on one of our earlier episodes
as we talked about, Duck Soup.
And a big thank you to everybody here
who helps put this show together.
First of all, Avril Halley for pulling all of our clips,
Cody for pulling the show together,
Devon for
being in the booth, everybody at Team Coco for getting Conan in here, and all of you for
listening.
Oh, and I forgot someone else to think.
The good old Nate Kylie, who is putting together all of our research and Kyle Waldron,
who's creating some of our favorite kind of, how did this get made, Photoshop's.
Thank you everybody, Adir Wolf, find we'll see you next week and
you