How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Mannequin Two: On the Move (w/ Steve Agee)
Episode Date: April 24, 2023Steve Agee (Peacemaker, Superstore) joins Paul, June, and Jason to get to the bottom of important questions that popped up while watching the 1991 rom-com fantasy Mannequin Two: On the Move. What’s ...the deal with department stores? Do mannequins have genitalia? And finally, where does the butt start? Plus, we hear the inception of a new Mannequin sequel that is done right. (Originally released 07/11/2016)  For more Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/c/PaulScheer Go to www.hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, and more.Follow Paul on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: https://discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (https://www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: listen.earwolf.com/deepdiveSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Art, as defined by Webster's dictionary, will never truly capture the moment when you see
and or experience something that moves you and makes you think.
Art is truly something that is indescribable. Rarely is there a shared experience or reference
point, the Mona Lisa, the David, American Gothic, and of course, the enchanted peasant girl.
We saw mannequin two on the move, so you know what that means.
Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? I'm your host, Paul Sheer, joined,
as always, by June Diane Rayfield. How are you, June? I'm good, Paul. How are you? Very good,
and glad to hear it. And Jason Manzukas, how are you, Jason? Paul, I love you with all of my heart.
Thank you, Jason. It is wonderful to see you. Great to see you as well, and we have a very
special guest today. He is a hilarious comedian and actor. You've seen him on the Sarah Silverman
show. You probably follow him on Twitter. Please welcome Steve Agee. Thanks, guys. Good to be here.
Great to be here. Very excited to have, you know, the last movie that we did on this show
also involved a department store. I was like, what's going on with department stores? Department
store magic. But that was a thing. Yes. Like department stores were huge. Huge, because they
were new at that time. Like departments, or the department store that we now know. Yeah, mall
department stores. Yeah, that mall department store was in like every early 90s movie. Well,
I feel like there's that other movie career opportunities where it was like the guy who
was like in a finally movie, right? Yeah, they're like, we should do that one next. But just like
people just hanging out in malls and like, what could you do in a big department store where
they were like boats and tents and clothes, you know, but it was like this movie posits like
department store as museum as well. Like there's also like a museum exhibit going on. We got to
get into all this show. I mean, there's there's a stage. There's a theater. There's a full theater
in a department store for a very, oh, yeah. And rehearsals. Oh, yeah. Before we even get
dance sequences. There's so many dance sequences. And I feel like they were like, how can we have
dance sequences, fashion montages, and mannequins all in one place. And somebody was like, set it
all in a giant department store. Well, here's the thing. It's a sequel. It's based on the
original, not based on the original. It's a sequel that is jumping off in the first movie,
which took place in a department store. But every natural place for mannequin to live.
I have no problem with that. Yes. But this movie didn't need the department store because
they never use her as a mannequin. Yes. She is not a mannequin. Well, let's go back. I
realized that last night. Look, let's go back to the beginning. Think about that. Let's go back
to the beginning. The movie starts in medieval times and it's medieval times. I was going to say,
yeah, buy medieval times at a restaurant. It's like, so Cal kids running around going like, hey,
dude, like no attempt at an accent, no attempt. They are the cleanest medieval times people I've
ever seen. Yeah. Yeah. Because usually those medieval times people are real dirty. Well,
just like, I mean, there's no, but there's just nothing about like they look cartoonish and so
colorful and even the bridge that they're on had like bricks that are like very 19th century.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, yeah, the sword fight is ridiculous. All of it is like laughable.
I think that even the wizard goes, Madam sweetie pie. But it's almost like it's almost like to the
degree of like Robin Hood men in tights or princess bride level, like winking at the audience, you
know, I would 100% agree. I feel like it really it does feel like an updated medieval time show.
It just is like with some better looking. She certainly didn't seem like a peasant girl.
Oh, no, no. I mean, her alpha was very nice in the beginning and she looked very clean,
like with running water and I mean, she's a middle-class peasant for sure. For sure. But
she's like a garbage person in the eyes of the queen. Sure. Here's my question. The girl she's
with in the very beginning of the movie, is that her daughter? What? No, sister. Oh, I didn't hear
that. Okay. I mean, I just assumed it was. Yeah, I didn't know who it was. It would be really weird
if she had a daughter and was like ready to ride off on the back of the students. This was medieval
time. It's not unthinkable. It would be amazing if this movie set up a world in which a single
mother rides off on the horse of a prince, leaving her 10 year old daughter behind to
dispense for her die of the plague. Even if it's her sister, she seemed to have a maternal relationship
with her. Well, they're just staring at the window. Yeah. Okay. Well, I was worried about that girl
and what happened to her. The window, the window, the glass window. That little girl died. Yeah,
you said that little girl for sure. She said it's so nonchalantly. She's like, nah, she's dead. Well,
she's definitely dead. I did want, well, they're all dead. Time, but she lived a long, healthy life.
We don't know. In that, you know, a thousand years ago. So she could have lived to the right
old age of 27, which was the life expectancy. Well, I was fascinated too by the fact that when
Christy Swanson, America's, the love of young boys' lives at that time, comes back to life a
thousand years later and never is like, oh no, what about my family? What about my sister?
Oh, she says it once. She does? Yes. She mentions it once, like, oh, I can't wait to see my family
again. And then it's like, never. You won't. She adapts so quickly. Just so if you have not seen
this movie, which I highly recommend that you do, the premise is that a queen puts a curse on a peasant
girl because her son, the prince, wants to marry her. He puts a necklace on. And this is where the
movie gets foggy for me in the sense that- Because this is the first scene and it's already getting
foggy. Yeah. It already is having some plot holes. So they put a necklace around her neck, royal jewels,
and then she freezes into a mannequin, not a stone statue. A wooden statue is basically what
they're saying. Yes. A wooden mannequin. And she, now if you take off the necklace, would she
always come to life? Or was it just in a thousand years if you took off the necklace, she would come
to life? I didn't understand the logic. That's never clear. Okay. So in my understanding of it,
the necklace was going to make her a mannequin. But to break that spell, she had to be with her
one true love. But also she had to be wearing the jewels. But also the true love had to come from
a foreign land. But also they think or something, there was like a bunch of caveats to it. But it
seems to me to be like wearing the necklace frozen, not wearing the necklace, not frozen.
Right. But then later on, they put the necklace on another, we'll get into this, they put a
character, he gets a necklace on, he freezes, but then later on when they want to put the necklace
on the bad guy, they need to like enchant him in some way to make him. Yeah. Well, she says the
same incantation that the queen says upon putting the necklace on her, but which is like a curse,
a thousand years. It seems to me though, that the true love aspect of it has nothing to do with it.
Because Hollywood, we know from the first movie of course, the necklace is put on him later in
the movie. And then he's hold on a second. You're telling me, because I don't remember one at all.
You're telling me Hollywood is in the first movie. He's the character. Yeah. Oh, okay. So, but he's
surprised that there's another. No, you can hear him say, oh, no, I've seen this before. He does.
But he says it one line and never does he get into it deeper than that. He says like, he goes,
he goes like, I wrote it down because it's like, he said it so nonchalantly. He said, it happened
once before. He goes, this is crazy. He goes, it happened once before. No explanation. And they
go off to her. But it didn't happen once before with a magical necklace and a curse. No, it happened
once before, like in a very different way. Her name is also Jesse. A thousand years ago,
a peasant girl is named Jesse with like a heart over the eye at the end. You know what I mean?
Like what, what the fuck world are we living in? She is a valley girl. I mean, she is. I love
her in this movie. She's great. I did too. I love that. You just crush on her. Love Kristie Swanson.
And she's beautiful. And she actually, I think, plays this character. So well. She's delightful.
She's just delightful to watch. I could watch her all day long. But my, my big problem with this
movie is the first mannequin was about a woman who is a mannequin who came to light. Why not make
the sequel about a male mannequin? Oh, male mannequin. Man mannequin. Man mannequin. No,
mannequin sounds too much like mannequin. Wait. And in, in, in mannequin one, yes,
is there, because I genuinely do not remember it at all. I don't either. I went a little back and
I, I've, is there a similar kind of curse? Yes. It's a little different though. Here's the thing,
a mannequin one. There is an Egyptian curse put on Kim Petrall. Yes. I remember it being Kim
Petrall. And what happens is a mannequin designer, Andrew McCarthy, who's amazing. Amazing. He speaks
to, but he's also amazing at his job. He's a very good mannequin, like designer. Like he is
the top tier guy. And he is, he talks to all of his creations. And then one time his creation talks
back. And that's like, like, so his, okay, his creation. But it's not fulfilling some destiny.
It's not like this movie where there's like a lot of like, weird, no, no, there's no one backstory.
There's no one after him in that movie. But here's the problem that I have just based on an American
should be great. But they go from New York City, like New York City. Yeah. And it's like, he is the
best fashion industry mannequin. Yeah. And he's like the best window designer. And it's for the
biggest store to Philadelphia. Yeah. Not even Philadelphia, Germantown. We are about to make
a lot of enemies. I was going to say, I apologize to anyone. I don't know where this is going, Paul,
but I do not share your sentiments. I'm going to really take down Philadelphia, Philadelphia.
You got Creed and that's all you got. Rocky and Creed and fuck you. But I feel like they chose
Germantown because the original princess was in Germany. I think you're right. But I think
it is such a downgrade to everything because it's like, why would you tour this mannequin
in Germantown? Oh man, we're going to get so many votes. And then, and then on top of this,
let me tell you Philadelphia. You don't deserve to have a touring production of a mannequin
from a different country show up in one of your store museums. South Street Home. They literally
say like, all the elite of Philadelphia will be there. Right. And Paul is saying, who's that?
Trash people? Wrong. There are no elites in Philadelphia. I'm saying there are seven to
ten elite people. I just want to say that Paul is speaking only for himself. I think Philadelphia
has wonderful elites. I think I would be proud. I would be proud if anything that I did was was
set there or went there, you know, Philadelphia. Now, while he's saying that Jason is just writing
on the table, Philadelphia sucks. And he threw an arrow through the Philadelphia Eagles head
from the from the crossbow that the count has in this movie, which he steals from a Jansport
display. I do not want to discuss. Oh, is it off limits? Yes. This is a topic that's off limits.
And I really beg. Can I guess what it is? Can I guess what it is? It's his hairy mole. Yes.
Oh, my God. Why? The end of the discussion. Okay. So we just said the main evil man has a
hairy mole. I would know it was the same guy from the cold open. I think so. Yeah. The mole hair
was like four inches long. I want to get into the bag. I looked. I first thought he was had a
monocle and it was like a fucking monocle. I just want to talk about I want to slam Philadelphia
one more time. Oh, wow. And just say this, what I think was such a downgrade, two parts. One,
Hollywood is in New York, killing it in New York. And then it seems that he's got downgraded to
Philadelphia, falling on hard times, moving out to LA. But it seemed like he's went from the heights
to the lows. You don't go from New York Philadelphia to the lows. You don't go quote unquote. You
don't go from New York to Philly is what you just said. I agree in the fashion world. He goes,
he has sacks with avenues. Once again, I will not back this. I don't agree with this. And then
I want to just say one more thing and he takes this fucking mannequin to show her main street.
And it's the dumpiest main street of all. It's like a Suvlaki stand. And it looks like a building.
So now you're taking on Suvlaki stands as well. You know what, pal? I was, I would sit idly by
while you trash Philadelphia, one of our great cities, the first American capital. To watch you
trash it, to then have you doubled out and trash the most delicious Greek food that has ever been
created is shameful, sir. Now make sure you guys get on the forums and write to Paul Shearer.
Are you from Philadelphia? No. Oh, okay. But there was something, there was something so
anticlimactic about going like, I want to show you my city. And it's really the least. I mean,
and they could have done it in downtown. Showed me a building. Now, Paul, correct me if I'm wrong.
You're from New York, right? Yeah, bro. New York all the way. Fuck you. Philly. We'll go. We'll eat
your cheese sticks and then we'll come home. You just can't deny though. I mean, New York City is
the greatest city on earth. Sure. Yeah. So I mean, you have a, I think you have a valid point.
Just keep it in the world. I feel like there's a tax burden. And this movie is not about fashion.
Sure it is. It's about a department store. Okay. This movie is not about even window displays.
No, no. This is not about mannequins. A mannequin doing what a mannequin should be doing. Right.
Selling clothing. Like that has nothing to do with this film. I mean, like that's kind of,
I mean, again, I don't want to speak for what is expected of mannequins because I think any
mannequin should be able or malekin should be able to do whatever they want. If their dreams
will allow it. But I get it. What you're saying is what they're doing is they're to sell clothes,
which is pretty reductive June. I think I don't know another use for a mannequin. Wow. I don't
really appealing to masturbation. I don't. I am shocked to hear that. How limiting you feel like
mannequins are. I do have an issue with the fact that they made this another woman because I felt
like, wow. Wow. It's, there's something so appealing about seeing a beautiful, still,
lifeless woman to men. Right. And I have a real issue with that. And the fact that they didn't
flip that for the sequel. It totally should have been a dude. Yeah. And I thought Chrissy
Swanson was great. I thought Kim Cattrall was amazing. And I love, I love watching that. Fine.
But to not, there's something so gross to me about like using this concept of a woman who's
still and silent and beautiful. Yeah. It's just an object to be looked at. There literally is no
connection between the main character and this girl. Like she comes to life. He like, he first,
he like kisses a mannequin. That's weird. Yeah. That was weird. Weird. Okay. You're a fucking pervert.
Yeah. He also saves her quote unquote life when the mannequin falls into the water. Well, that's
the, yeah, they don't need to happen. Jump into that water. No, didn't need to happen. He jumps
into water to save a mannequin and it makes no sense. We should float also. Oh yeah. It's solid.
It's just all a wood. Yeah. It's a heavy curse. But he kisses her and then she comes to life
and they really have no connection besides eating like shawarma and they go out on her mind. They
do because he's in her mind, but in his mind, like he has no connection to her. She wants
whizzle meat. By the way, is that what he calls his dick? The only moment in that movie of her like
adjusting to modern times is going, oh, so when the little man flashes green, you can walk? Oh,
yeah. There's no like, what the fuck is this? She's on board for it. She's in that car. She says,
I love cars. I love electricity. I love America. If you, if you jumped forward a thousand years,
those are the three highlights that you'd be like, I'm on board guys. Meanwhile, this guy takes out
a fucking fire extinguisher and shoots out a little like foam and she passes out. Like that was
the thing that pushed her over the edge. Not the electricity, not the fact that people smell good,
not the fact that like, not the fact that things are clean, a fire, a red fire extinguisher. I
would almost argue that would be maybe the closest thing to a medieval that looks like some sort of
contraption she would be familiar. Oh my gosh. And then she's a peasant. So everything should be
doubled. Like if you were just coming, food should be amazing. Food, everything should be, she should
be losing her mind because like the movie could be about her just experiencing the most simple of
things and having her mind completely blown. And she gets what they were going for, which I do think
she was great at was just that she's completely like a daft person, be it in medieval times or
in present day, that she's an innocent and wide-eyed and just, you know, in love. I didn't like the
way they kissed in medieval times. Like he kind of like, it's like meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. And she keeps going more, again, more. And I was like, what is this?
Yeah, the kissing was gross and there is like every time, I will say this, and I did find
their chemistry, Christie Swanson and the guy, to be light and charming and fine. Really? I thought, it was totally fine for me. I genuinely, I enjoyed this
movie. You like, I was good. Aji and I were talking about this before you guys got here. You gotta watch the first one. Totally enjoyed the movie. And I was like, I'm on board for it. Like this is not terrible. Neither of them is terrible.
They're both doing a great job. But every time she is a mannequin and he's just acting with the mannequin, it was the straight up creepiest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Like when he's looking like her at all, the mannequin. No. But the mannequin of Hollywood looked exactly like him. And the mannequin of Terry Kaiser, look at Terry Kaiser, we can have Bernice, he's the bad guy. And I'm surprised that they were actually able to finish shooting this movie because he ate the scenery so much. That guy, I mean, I kind of grew to love it. But he was in a way the most
moustache twirl, like literally most moustache twirly. He was actually ward hair twirly. But yeah, I mean, I think the movie is just, it's bizarre because it doesn't really follow. Like, it just kind of like runs a path and then it goes, well, we'll change it now. And it just, I think that's the craziest
thing about the movie. The chemistry is. Well, it's hard because the relationship between Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall was so amazing. Yes. And his reactions to her when she's a mannequin are so great. Like, that doesn't come across as creepy. And the first one is he's just so good and so lovable that like, watch, you know, this guy doesn't seem too freaked out that she even comes to life. Like, no one reacts really to anything at any given point. Like, they're so freaked out about this
mannequin falling in the water. Then he just takes it and is like, well, I guess we'll just bring it in my car back to the. But then when they're driving back, he's holding the mannequin like it's a person. Yeah, he's like cradled the mannequin is like cradled in his arms. And then he's like, people are like freaking out when they see him like in the diner with the
mannequin. There's like throngs of people outside the diner looking in at him standing with a, you know, a mannequin. This is a weird part of the movie because it becomes a little bit like Lars and the real girl. Like, he has had this
like amazing night where he like spent this night with this great mannequin and he wakes up in the morning and she's alive when she's alive. Yes. She comes the first time she comes to life. They have like an amazing night. He squeezes some oranges, puts it in the
microwave, it becomes orange juice. His mom. I want to talk about his mom for like 10 hours. Oh my God. The mom talk about why all of her like dating clients come over at 9 p.m. What or even later.
What was that about? Because they were coming home from the club. They were coming home from the club in which they had a full night like those two. That guy's doing his dating video profile. The guy that is his Jason, by the way, lead characters name is Jason, which is like
pretty rad. He was a pretty cool guy. Pretty much got it. But like Jason and the mannequin are sneaking in like after clubbing all night and his boss inexplicably is there because his mom is like a video dating
profile person and she's making his video profile like what are your interests. But yet he's being very like weird. I can't reveal what I do. He's like who I am. 1980s Newman. But it's also a Stuart Pankin classic character actor. But his whole thing was like, he was like, I work in a, you fucking manage them all. It's not like you're like Brad Pitt or something.
He's like, I work in a pet store. And by the way, in the beginning of the movie, he's the most evil, villainous character. And then turns out to be a huge buffoon. And so many holes in this movie by making either him just the main bad guy instead of Terry Kaiser or getting him out.
Yeah, the movie because you think when the count shows up that the state that those are the stakes that they have to somehow impress them. I mean, I don't even want to get into like why there's a show.
Yeah, why is the staff of a department store at an airport to meet a foreign dignitary? Why is that happening? And what is that? And by the way, why not just put this whole fucking thing in a museum? And it could be a mannequin, but in the museum instead of the fucking department
has been great. By the way, it's mannequin to it's about a fucking statue. Yeah, that's what we're doing. Don't worry about it. Just put by the way, because she's never used as a mannequin. No, they could have used any mannequin in that store.
And by the way, when they do reveal her as a mannequin in mannequin form, she comes out of a fucking spaceship, which is not even of the right ilk for her character because she is a peasant girl. Yeah, like that. It doesn't make any sense.
Okay, I have a lot. All easily fixable holes, too. It could have been a really good movie. It felt to me like there was, like I felt like they had a script. And they said, OK, Steve, here's the premise. You don't get to read the scenes that come before.
You just this is what you have to do in this gene. You have to accomplish this. Got it. And you write it. Then you give it to Jason. Jason, you're all like exquisite corpse. Yeah, it's exactly because it feels like we're using all the same characters.
But it doesn't seem like from scene to scene, like the mannequin comes home and she's like, look, your mom gave me this device to see everybody's lives.
It's days of our lives. And she's watching soap operas. But then her mom, when they put a mannequin from upstairs, mom's like, he's dating a mannequin. It's like, no, woman, you just let him in. You let this woman upstairs five minutes ago.
There's also a whole thing if he fucked it, too. Like a lot of the shower. Did you sleep with her? Who's in the bathroom? She says, who's in the bathroom? And he says, oh, it's a girl and blah, blah, blah.
But then she's like shocked to find him with a mannequin. She definitely heard someone in the bathroom. But I'm saying she saw her come up the stairs minutes before the cops come in at the end.
Well, I think, though, that I do think that the mannequin version of Kristie Swanson doesn't look that much like her. So I don't know that if I saw Kristie Swanson and I saw the mannequin version of her that I would necessarily think they were the same person.
So you think the mom also thinks that Kristie Swanson is upstairs?
Possibly.
Possibly.
They're having a threesome with a mannequin.
Oh, my God.
I don't know.
And then to get to the like, so there's so much confusion here. And then the main bad guys plan from what I can distill is to get enough money to go to Bermuda.
No, he's waiting for her to wake back up.
He's waiting for her to wake back up because he wants to marry her for some reason.
He's going to force himself.
How did he stay alive for a thousand years?
He's the great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great.
great grandson.
He says like, he does a big thing when he's talking to you.
Oh, I thought he was alive for a thousand years.
He's the grandson.
I was just saying it though.
Oh, that makes no sense.
I feel like Paul's screaming for like 20 minutes.
You know what, Paul got all fired up about Philadelphia.
Philadelphia.
He emailed me today and he was like, get ready.
I'm taking down Philly.
I'm gonna turn it up today.
I'm turning it.
I literally feel like you've been screaming for 20 minutes.
Okay, everybody.
I'm just baffled.
I'm baffled and I'm.
I am too.
I want to talk about, at some point,
I want to talk about all the horny secondary characters.
Well, and that's, by the way,
I think what they were going for with Gail and Andy.
Can we just figure out the plan though?
I just want to see.
Oh, oh, oh.
Also, we've moved on way far past this,
but did you notice in the beginning,
that cold open in medieval times,
the dwarf from Twin Peaks?
Yes, I did notice it.
Yep, yep, yep.
I also noticed an interesting camera move there.
I think no one taught them about like a dolly.
So someone just ran with a camera.
Well, they didn't have dollies in medieval times.
I think they were shooting it
with that technology available in the day.
Medieval times, Verite.
So I guess the Count's cover.
All natural lighting.
The Count's cover was that he was trying to like,
build up tourism for their German town,
or whatever that was.
The place that's covered in rain for a thousand years.
So that was his cover,
but what he was really going to do was wake up the mannequin.
I think he thinks the mannequin is going to wake up
because it's now a thousand years later.
So that's a thousand years later,
but I don't know why he's-
She needs to be on foreign,
she needs to be in like,
falling in love with someone foreign or something.
Which is why she's got to be a mannequin on the move.
Yes, so that's why he's brought her there.
Because his plan is,
I'll fall in love with her here and we'll go to Bermuda.
And then we'll go to Bermuda.
Yeah, Bermuda.
Bermuda, was he going to sell the diamonds to them?
Because all the three German-
Henry Stujans, yeah, they-
What were they, by the way?
Security?
They, I couldn't figure them out at all.
I actually have a clip of Ralph, Egon and Arnold,
who, in my mind, clearly all were dubbed.
They're American actors that they got in later.
And this is, they're kind of the main bad guys,
foils, they're big, dumb German guys.
They're comic relief.
They're comic relief.
In a movie, I would argue, full of comic relief.
Didn't need it, yeah.
Didn't need them.
We have an over,
we basically only have two characters
that are not comic relief.
Yep, and then everybody else.
And then like a dozen characters who are ludicrous.
Here are the German three Stujans.
What have you done with the enchanted prison girl?
You guys are not supposed to be back here.
I'm going to have to call security.
There she is.
That was a close one.
Not a word of this to the count.
We don't want to get him upset.
Here, here, here.
One of my favorite scenes of the movie
was when the female truck driver
ends up dancing in the street.
These German guys who are getting naked
and dancing in the middle of a highway.
They go, that's the best way to stop a garbage truck.
And then they pick them up in a dumpster
and then activate the dumpster
so it dumps them into the trash.
That's inexplicable,
but I really did want to watch a whole movie
about those two ladies.
One of them I think is like, they were awesome.
They were amazing.
One of them I think is drinking a glass of milk.
She had white stuff all over her.
Yeah.
Or I don't know if they were just saying
she's foaming at the mouth.
Oh, maybe.
But the two of them were looking at these guys.
They were like feasting their eyes
on these beef cakes in the street.
It's incredible.
I wrote all about it.
I was like, what is up with these?
Because they're two gross ladies in a trash truck
who look at these guys in the street
and it is so, like they are like Lenny and Squiggy.
Like, one of them is wearing a hard hat in the cart.
Why are you, well, I think.
But then I don't know.
So it's so funny what, you know, their reactions to them.
And then yeah, they pick them up
and dump them in the trash.
Well, like, are they going to use them later?
Take the metaphor.
Because later on, it seems like they just dropped them off.
It's like.
I think they only do drop them off.
I mean, maybe they fucked those guys.
I would hope they did.
I would probably.
I would love it if they just straight up.
But that's what I mean.
Everybody's horny in this movie.
Is that a pick?
Is that like, is June, when you, you know,
I know you only for a little time when you were single,
but would you like try to throw guys in the garbage can?
Like when you got really into a guy?
It's a classic move.
The, then the guys, then those three beef cakes
change into like.
Bermuda wear.
80s era workout gear.
See, I think this is what happened.
I think there was one scene
where they said they were,
they were planning on going to Bermuda
and they picked up their Bermuda clothes.
I think you're right.
Yeah, yeah.
They cut.
So inexplicably, they, well, we do know
they don't have clothes from the trash can,
but they arrive in the next scene in.
Day glow pink.
Bermuda with.
Yeah, it looks more like, one of them guys
is wearing like fingerless weightlifting gloves.
I'm trying to think of.
But I think they were ready for Bermuda.
Really?
Because there's so much time before they go to Bermuda.
I never get out of those clothes.
They're kind of dressed like Bruno was dressed
in the, and when he was like wearing a bathing suit,
it's like that long V.
Like it's like, it's all the way down
into tight, tight shorts.
They're wearing like spandex shorts,
like ripped up tank tops, weightlifting gloves.
It's like the let's get physical music video.
I couldn't figure out why they were wearing that.
They would, they would be wearing that
when they were like the counts security team
and the count would be dressed in like a suit
and like be with like three guys that looked like
they just walked out of gold's gym for like a workout.
What?
Oh boy.
The, I, well, and like,
and I would say that this movie,
so that's stereotyping Germans.
I think we would be remiss.
That's what though, even, it's just idiots.
I felt like it was like, oh, I definitely felt like
they were poking fun at,
because one of them's named Arnold.
Yeah.
Oh, okay, all right.
I feel like they were all trying to.
By the way, the whole,
the entire like meet cute of this movie,
the way that they come together and is so strange.
It's predicated upon this idea
that those German guys crashed their truck.
Yes.
It said, keep right.
One of them said, the sign said keep right.
The cops like, at the end of the bridge,
you fucking idiot.
Don't drive off the bridge.
Like as in Germany, I guess you can drive off bridges.
And two guys who happened to be working
at this department store.
See this accident and Jason jumps in.
I mean, it's.
No, no, no.
They were supposed to go,
Hollywood gets the cars like, the truck, it's crashed.
And then they jump in the car.
And his pink Cadillac, yeah.
So he drives over there
because he's already heard it's cracked.
Yes.
No, I didn't realize that.
A weird little connection is,
this is the same pink Cadillac used in the movie Mac and Me,
a movie that we discussed in this podcast as well.
Oh my God.
Same pink Cadillac, and I believe the same director.
Oh, oh wow, that's amazing.
Let's, let's, we should do a whole thing that is like,
if that car's been in any other movies,
we're going to do those movies.
We should do, we should be completist
with that pink Cadillac.
I would love to do that.
Wait, I also want to talk about how Hollywood,
how Misha Taylor also plays the bouncer at the night club.
Well, I want to talk about Misha Taylor in general,
as far as I think based on when I saw this
and where I was in my life, which was very young,
Misha Taylor may have been my first introduction
to someone who is gay, right?
Wait, do you think he's gay in this movie?
Hmm.
I was like, I'm like, I'm like, that's,
like he, he definitely, well, here.
He reminded me of Kimmy Schmidt's roommate.
Yeah.
Yeah, Pinot Noir.
Just the sound of his voice.
Take a listen too, this is a,
this is kind of how we first meet Hollywood Montrose.
Do you remember Ms. Diana Ross in the movie Mahogany?
Give me cheekbones, or give me that.
Makes everyone suck in their cheeks.
Montrose, I need to talk to you.
The wizard's not here, go away, go away.
This is a rehearsal for a mall show.
This is in like a 600 seat theater
that exists in a department store.
Sure, for all their live shows.
Okay, I know we're going back to the basic plot of the movie,
but why, okay, if we're saying the count,
I know we're going back to it,
but if we're saying the count wanted to bring her here
to break the spell, why does he need a show?
I think that's the pretense is that the show's on tour.
It's his excuse to get her out of the country to foreign land.
Now, why does this department store need this show?
Because all of Philadelphia's elite
needs to be entertained on such a high quality level.
By the way, he's the count, that's his fucking mannequin.
If he needs to get it on foreign soil,
No, it's the queens.
It's the queens mannequin.
That's why she's on the phone with him,
on the white courtesy phone,
and is like, I didn't want the peasant girl to go abroad,
I didn't want this, this is your thing.
But they literally made $52 last year in tourism.
Oh yeah.
Which by the way,
means that those four women that are touring the museum,
probably was the entire, the entire.
I did have a laugh when the queen said the weather's turned.
Yeah, turned nice here.
Turned nice, yeah.
I know it's storming out.
I wanted to talk about, is Hollywood offensive,
I guess, and that's like, cause now looking at it.
Oh, it's an insane, like caricature of a game.
I remember seeing the first mannequin
and thinking like, this is comedy.
That's what I think too, like we were.
I thought he was hilarious.
His glasses are so funny.
I loved him.
In this one, his glasses are made of scissors.
And his earrings were little scissors too.
And all of his jokes are like gay one-liners.
They're like all about like,
you know, a few good men in the Marine,
getting in a few good men or whatever.
Michelle Taylor's, I believe, famous for playing gay people.
Like design of women, he was a gay guy.
I looked it up last night, not gay, married, straight man.
And he, but like he'll, like yeah, he,
it's funny to think how far we've come.
This is now, like the first movie was 87, this is 91.
This is 91?
91.
Oh my God, I would have put this at 87.
Yeah.
That's shocking.
Yeah, so that's like.
Weirdly, the first one feels more present.
Yeah, present.
I would flip them around.
Well, I mean, like, and I will say just to speak
to what you're saying, Paul, like this is still an era
where like a lot of, this is, this is like, you know,
Langduck Dong in 16 Candles around this time.
This is still an era where there's a lot of minorities
are represented in ways that are gross.
What we would now look at is gross caricatures.
But then we were like, this is totally normal, right?
Yeah.
How did this get me?
How did this get me?
I have one question about the dance club sequence.
Okay.
Okay, when they're waiting to go online,
there are three men that walk into that club
who are all hunched over wearing white T-shirts.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
You don't?
No.
Oh my God.
Why?
Okay, because they're, oh God,
I wish we had a clip of this.
They're hunched over.
I mean, they're young guys, but are like completely like,
they're almost touching the ground with their hands.
And they, it looks like, oh, this is like a cool
late 80s, early 90s, like a hip hop style.
Then they go into the dance club
and they are slow dancing with women at one point.
And all three of them are still hunched over.
Like, I don't remember.
I don't know.
Fuck, I don't remember.
I'm going to pull it up, but I mean, it's going to be visual.
As many of my favorite moments in this movie
are incredibly visual.
Oh yeah.
Like when he gives CPR to the mannequin.
Oh, amazing.
I mean, there's so much.
We should just call her a doll
because she's really not a mannequin.
Yeah.
Oh, perfect.
Yeah.
Like, well, is she a doll?
I mean, I think she is.
I mean, she is a statue.
She is a statue.
We should also say that this movie
all takes place in arguably 72 hours.
This movie takes place in the time of that movie,
the Benghazi movie that Michael Bay made.
So it was going on in a simultaneous world as a Benghazi.
This is, this movie is also about Benghazi.
Yeah.
Well, first of all, I will say that Meshack Taylor
playing that guy as a bouncer was great.
I like that a lot.
I think he's a versatile guy.
Oh, no, as the bouncer, he's hilarious, you know, like that.
I feel like, and I bet that's all improvised.
Like him just like deciding who gets to go into the club and stuff.
I feel like everything that he did was kind of improvised.
Lots of pop culture stuff.
He's taught you like the Diana Ross stuff.
He's talking about pop culture constantly throughout the movie.
And, but, you know, that's why he brought, got so many dance breaks.
So many, so many, like in the nightclub dancing in the nightclub.
He's dancing like an insane person.
Yes. And she starts to dance like an insane person.
Budgets, too, by the way.
Sure. This movie was 13 million dollars.
Well, here's an interesting thing about this movie.
And, and it's, it's a very big package to unwrap.
But I will quickly talk about this.
The movie was produced by this place called Gladden Entertainment,
which is formed in 1984 by David Beagleman, right?
And he packaged the idea of, or he came up with the idea of a package deal.
And he basically embezzled all this money from all of his movies.
He eventually was caught and killed himself in a hotel room.
Oh, my God.
We the mannequin there?
Was there a mannequin?
There was a mannequin.
The LA Times or an article on it was one of the biggest business scandals ever
in Hollywood. He first he started off stealing money from Judy Garland
when he was her manager and he blackmailed Judy Garland from more money.
Then he would take inflated budgets and then pocket all that money.
And, and he.
So basically his whole company was liquidated
because he wasn't paying actors, residuals.
This guy's a really bad dude.
And, and so, and then his partner equally bad, this guy, Bruce McNeil.
He owned the LA Kings and they both he wrote a book called Fun While It Lasted,
My Rise and Fall in the Land of Fame and Fortune.
And he served 13 months in jail for embezzling over
two hundred and thirty six million dollars from several banks over a 10 year period.
Whoa. Oh, I can't.
Yeah. So I imagine a lot of that 13 million.
It had to because I was watching it going, where is that money?
It all takes place clearly in just like a studio that is, you know,
the first one was just like the first maybe six million.
Seven point nine million made six million on the opening weekend.
Beat over the top.
This movie came out made one point six million
many years later.
And Jesus.
And it was beaten by by a lot of things.
It came in one hundred and thirty third of all the movies released that year.
There were some good movies, I think.
Terminator two, Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, Beauty and the Beast.
The only movie that we've done that it's beaten is Cool as Ice.
Oh, wow.
So, yeah, so that was just to give you an idea.
And the movie was also written by five different people.
And in my research of those guys, one of the main writers said,
we subscribe to the twenty four second rule that we never spent
more than twenty four seconds figuring out the logic of this movie.
Whoa, that is evident.
And it shows you.
That's a crazy thing to openly admit.
He's like, yeah, we never we do like he's like, there's a lot of plot holes in it.
But we didn't spend more than twenty four seconds trying to justify anything.
Oh, no. And I feel like they genuinely did the other thing, which is when in doubt,
do a montage. Oh, when in doubt, to play a song and just do a montage.
She is like at some point she's like she wants to change her appearance.
Yes. And all it is is so a song starts up like she's like,
how can I change my appearance?
And then they're like, go for it, girl.
And then she's like, OK, and it's just her looking in the mirror
of trying on formal guns and hats.
Just by a lot of hats, a lot of hats.
I was like, formal gun, formal gun, formal gun, hat, hat, hat.
Well, this was an era of hats, though, on women.
Oh, maybe one. Yeah.
This was like blossom and like lots of hats on lots of ladies.
I just felt like I wanted to see a real dress up montage.
And it just felt like a hat montage or like like change your appearance
so that the people that are chasing you, she just basically is like,
I'm going to look I'm going to be black tie ready.
Well, they did run past her at one point towards the end of the montage.
They did. And I did really, I was aching for her to cut that hair.
I mean, that hair was come off that hair.
It was. But peasant chic.
It was horrible.
And I I think I do have something against women with hair
that's like really long like that. Oh, boy.
It's just. Yeah, there's now one of those to me.
What if a woman had hair that long and lived in Philadelphia?
But that was I feel like that woman would be like the number one
enemy of your household wanted her to cut that hair into like a really cool Bob.
Oh, like like Helen Slater in Helen Slater.
Helen Slater. Oh, and I give my brother back his bike.
What was that movie? Oh, my bodyguard.
No. Oh, love that movie, too.
No. Oh, it doesn't matter.
Oh, better off dead. Nope. No.
No. Fuck.
Well, June, while we're talking about hair,
someone did write in on the forums and they said they really wanted to hear
your opinion on man buns. That's Taylor and photo wanted to know
what you think about man buns in general or in this movie.
And just in general, I was a we were talking about here.
But yeah. But a hair buns.
Buns, though, is interesting because you don't like buns.
And they said move your buns in this movie. Yeah.
It's not that I don't like buns.
I just don't think they're I think movies portray them as like super sexy
to women and I don't think they are. But that's been well documented.
It's weird, though, that everybody makes fun of man buns.
But dudes keep wearing it.
I'm like, well, we're talking about different things, too.
We're talking about man buns being a hairstyle and buns of men being their butts.
So I don't mind man buns, but I really I prefer a low man bun.
I don't love like a high like a samurai. Got it.
Like where yours is. Yeah.
So you don't like a thing on the back.
You don't like a fat, Jew man bun.
You like that's not even a man bun. You like a ponytail.
No, I don't like a ponytail.
But I would I would prefer it in a I'd actually think I preferred in a bun.
Now that we're unpacking this, but low at the nape of the neck.
Tidy or messy, like a knot, not even a bun, though, right?
Yeah, like a little knot.
Yeah, loose, not too well groomed.
By the way, I don't like this, but at all.
But just if I had to choose, that's where I would place it.
Well, no, no, that's what we that's what people want to know.
We people want to know when we got the intro.
Here's another thing I want to run by you guys.
We talked a lot about this theater and what was the theater in the department?
Yes, what is going on in the theater?
What's going on there? Do you think?
I just like, what would you describe what they're doing?
Wait, in this in the case of this movie, what would you describe they're doing?
The actual show that they end up putting on.
Yeah, you call you call the show.
What would you call it?
I would call it the opening of the exhibit of the present girl.
What would you call it?
I guess I would call it an evening for the department store.
In which there will be entertainment.
Well, I think it's the shit you see at like fashion week
where they have the bring out the news style.
You're all wrong because then you missed the mini cues.
I'll tell you exactly what it is here if we just play this clip
because they say it a lot of times on the Huffman Koenig presentation.
Do you realize how important that presentation is?
The eyes of the entire city will be on that presentation.
I'm going to be some light into this presentation.
You say the presentation and my phony baloney job.
Count Pretzel, I think you'll be pleased at our handling of your presentation.
Let's get busy.
We have a presentation.
If someone has got to glitz up this presentation.
Count, we have presentations tomorrow afternoon.
All we have to do is wait till the presentation is over.
This is my story.
My presentation.
He's about to ruin my presentation.
Presentation?
So that is the super god of all the time that they said the presentation.
That is a meaningless word.
What do you think they didn't even understand what they were doing?
Presenting this doll.
Which is the least impressive doll.
It doesn't look like her.
It's not exciting.
They would basically be like if when like the King Tut exhibit
toward the country, it went to the Macy's and Nordstrom's.
Oh, we got to go to Nordstrom's this weekend.
They have King Tut.
And I got it and I have to get some and I have to get some briefs.
And I did not realize that part of like it's a one night only event.
And then when you see what it is, it's a full on singing and dancing.
It is a full stage show.
King Tut.
King Tut is in the Nordstrom's and except that I thought about this for a second.
And here's what I think.
I think part of the problem would be that we understand that mannequins
have no genitalia, so so dude mannequins would not have dicks.
No, but she was a present girl frozen.
So she has no vagina.
No, she's no she does because we saw her as a human being.
So you think if they took her clothes off while she was a mannequin,
she would still have a vagina.
Yes, yes, yes, she's frozen in.
She would be like they would be labia Majora, labia Menorra.
There would be a clitoral hood, a clitoris, a man, a quim.
She doesn't have a vagina.
She doesn't have nipples as a mannequin.
But as a human, she does.
Yes, no.
And that's what happens in that moment where the screen gets nipples.
No, okay.
Well, let me just keep a trap.
One point was also a human.
Yes, but she was, but she was like, but her thing is that she's a frozen human.
Kim Cattrall is she's a spirit.
Yeah, and this is what I mean, like, here's the thing.
Well, this is the poor trial.
He did make a vagina on her.
Do we know that make?
How do we know that dry hump her?
You got to get into McCarthy in here.
I want to call Kim Cattrall and be like, listen, you probably saw the mannequin
that was built to be you were their lips.
But I don't understand your point that you couldn't do it with a man
because he wouldn't have genitalia.
Well, I feel like there would, I guess I would have genitalia.
Yeah, I guess that it would be the same thing for this.
I guess in this, like the mannequins still have boobs.
There's still like an element of sexuality to them that is like
covetable, but male mannequins are just like handsome dolls in a weird way.
They're sexless, I feel like.
But maybe, yeah, maybe you haven't met the right mannequin or malekin.
By the way, I think we should put an undercover on the whole to get into malekin.
Malekin three.
The confusing part about that I'm manic him.
Manic.
He's a mannequin.
Manic him.
Manic him.
Because King Todd was very manic and they have to freeze him up.
Yeah.
Wait, no, I do want to ask about what goes on when you are frozen
because she seems to like just be frozen.
But then when Hollywood gets it, he's like, I was in Oz.
I saw Dorothy.
I saw everybody.
But I, is he living in an alternate hell zone?
Like when you're are frozen or the mannequin, like, or are you just like literally like
boom, boom, and like immediately because she seemed to have no.
She thought it had been 10 minutes.
Yeah.
And even 10 minutes.
I just saw you 15 minutes.
Yeah.
She should have just said, I just saw you seconds ago because.
Yeah.
Yes.
But yeah, because, but it seemed like, seemed like Hollywood was in a very weird.
He lived a whole life.
He entered the void.
He entered like, like he entered like an existential void that he did not understand when he,
that was the other things he put that he was able to put the necklace on himself.
Yes.
And turn himself into a mannequin.
Yeah.
Which was strange.
And then.
Oh, by the way, there's no way she has genitalia as a mannequin.
Okay.
Well.
No way, she doesn't have nipples.
She puts the necklace on and her nipples and vagina go away.
Smooth.
Just like other things go away.
Like what?
Like her.
Her.
She doesn't look exactly like herself.
Her skin's different.
Do you think there are organs inside of her?
Of course not.
Definitely not.
Frozen.
No.
So you think she's hollow.
She becomes a hollow thing.
Yes.
I agree with that.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah.
I mean made of wood.
She's made of wood.
Everything was wood.
I just pulled up a picture.
That's true.
I pulled up a picture.
Nipples aren't heavy, though.
I'm going to post this on our Ear Wolf boards.
I mean, that's a real question.
How heavy are nipples?
I mean, very, very heavy.
We really want to get a listener to stand on a scale and weigh herself.
I want to show her how many nipples.
By the way, they do make mannequins now that have nipples.
Yeah.
That's Chrissy Salsons.
And I don't like it.
Standing next to it.
So that's the difference.
Oh, wow.
There's like, they do look interesting.
I mean, what is for sale in that?
The picture.
Just the picture.
Yeah.
I wish you could buy the mannequin.
But yeah, the mannequin's not even very impressive either.
And it doesn't seem like, because at the end of the movie, when they, when, when weekend
at Bernie's guy is now the mannequin that's put together and oddly his ear.
That was upsetting when he like falls out of the balloon.
Yeah.
But well, they had to figure out a way to kill the bad guy without really killing him.
We have evidence.
We have, we have evidence from the movie that they are empty because when he falls to the
ground, he shatters.
He shatters and he is just like the, there is nothing inside.
Okay.
What I wish they had done with her too is given her a face like his face and expression sort
of look like him as does Hollywood's.
But with her, she as a mannequin has a very serious expression on her face.
Well, she just has a mannequins.
Yeah.
She looks like just a store mannequin where they look like frozen versions of themselves.
Yes.
Do you remember?
Which is different.
There was an episode of Seinfeld called the mannequin where there was an Elaine mannequin
that looked exactly like a.
Oh, yes.
And it really fucking looked like Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
I mean, but this is, we could talk for a long time about how advanced mannequin technology
has gotten.
I mean, if you go to Japan, you can get the best mannequins.
Absolutely.
Everything in there.
Genitals.
Yeah.
Oh, fully genital mannequins.
You're so mannequins.
Oh, we got to put some jennies on these mannies.
Well, that's always the interesting thing about the Ken.
That is the interesting thing about the Ken Barbie.
Is that the Ken Barbie always had underwear on?
Oh, really?
Really?
Oh, yeah.
And Barbie, as we know her, doesn't have any underwear.
Wait, that's crazy.
But that's how it should be.
Because she's nasty.
Yeah, because a guy's got special junk in there.
Wait, and you can just throw out there to-
She has no vagina, obviously, but there's nothing to-
Barbie doesn't.
But Ken, Ken, it doesn't have a-
I think he definitely does, because he's covering something up.
No, he's got flat.
He's flat and-
No, but I get what you're saying.
Flat, but they'll put underwear on.
It's intimating that he should be wearing underwear.
Is that right?
Can you look that up, Paul?
Ken underwear?
Ken underwear.
So will you just google Ken doll underwear please?
Yeah, I'm going to do it right now.
I didn't see if anybody on Etsy's making it.
Ken doll is wearing underwear.
He has a-
Really?
Well, he looks like he's sitting sold underwear.
Paul, I don't want you to-
No, not underwear you put on him.
Look at a naked Ken doll.
Look up naked Ken doll.
Here we go.
At some point, you're going to forget about this June.
You're going to look at his Google history and be like,
what are you up to?
Well, one time I was doing a bit with her.
We were on Amazon.
And I was like, looking for Father's Day gifts.
And we just typed in the most obscene thing to see what
popped up in Amazon.
And now all my suggestions on Amazon are like,
disgusting erotica or like, sex books.
Male anatomically correct-
Look under images.
Look under images.
This is amazing.
This is amazing.
All right, so I'm looking-
He's wearing underwear.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
He's not wearing physical underwear,
but his waist is designed as plastic underwear.
His underwear built into his body.
Oh, let me see.
He always has that on.
He always has briefs on.
So he's wearing-
So the doll is the mole.
It's like Sumo underwear.
This will also be on Twitter.
Okay, so that's interesting because that suggests
that there is a dick under there.
Absolutely.
But Barbie is without-
Look up Barbie.
Now, and will you also look up American Girl Doll bra?
Just look it up, just see.
Not because I'm looking for one, but I just want to know.
Barbie has no underwear.
Right, but also no genitalia.
She's just smooth.
I guess so, she's not tied to anything.
But she kind of has a little bit of a-
This is what we're into right now.
Look, guys.
Don't look.
That's a shadow, first of all.
That's a shadow.
But this is-
We have lost our minds.
We are just passing around a glitter.
Looking at naked dolls for sale on eBay.
Guys, what is happening?
There is a cleft there.
Yeah, I see it.
Nothing's there.
There is-
She's completely smooth.
There's a little camel tongue.
There's a cloven.
There's a little-
There's a suggestion of an opening.
There's a hint of-
Well, because her butt has to start.
Yeah.
Her butt has to start.
Where does that-
That brings up a good question.
Not in the front, dude.
That brings up a question.
Where does the butt start, Paul?
Well, I'm saying-
At the paint, dude.
Where does the butt start?
Dude, do me a favor.
Look up naked Barbie ass or butt.
Because-
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
All right.
So this is our-
This is the naked Barbie butt.
Right here.
And then there we go.
That's shit.
Yeah.
Okay.
So she's got-
That is genitals.
That's butt.
That's butt.
That's butt.
That's butt.
That's butt.
That's butt.
And it goes up.
That's butt.
That's a-
And it goes underneath.
You see, it goes in between-
I have a current one.
Oh my god.
What about that?
That's the same thing.
The Ken was an old one that had that underwear.
Yeah.
We're going to be putting on all of that.
Guys, what is this?
This is throw up.
Guys, I love that this is where this butt has gone.
You guys need a how did this get made t-shirt that's just a Barbie crotch.
Yep.
And it says where does the butt start?
How did this get made?
Where does the butt start?
Well, here's a comparison.
Where does the butt start?
Oh, this is interesting.
This is interesting.
90s Barbie has underwear.
Really?
No.
But 2000s Barbie doesn't.
What about earlier?
Well, that's the same as pubic hair.
That's not true, Paul.
That's the same as pubic hair because 90s Barbie had a landing strip and 2000s Barbie had
nothing.
Oh my gosh.
Oh boy.
This is pretty great.
I love it all.
Well, I think we talked about everything in this movie that, oh, I didn't want to say,
when the bad guy is now re-put back together.
I love it.
We're not going to recover from this.
We're never going to recover.
This is what these show is about.
We mentioned this horrible mole.
Did they have to?
Did you look for Barbie mole?
Barbie, hairy mole Barbie.
Medieval Barbie.
By the way, I bet you we could all pool together money and get that Terry Kaiser tummy.
Why doesn't Barbie have nipples?
Great question.
You know what I mean?
She has boobs.
Why does a Barbie have nipples?
There's so much to be said about Barbie.
Ken has nipples, right?
Does Ken have nipples?
Look up Ken doll nipples.
I'm looking at Ken doll nipples.
I don't think he does.
He has like pecs, but I don't think he has nipples.
No, but Ken has sexuality.
I'm listening.
Look up Ken doll sexuality.
How does Ken have sexuality?
Ken has sexuality because he's covering it.
There's a dick over there.
Barbie has nothing other than boobs in the shape of her.
Yes.
But she has no vagina.
She has no vagina and no nipples.
And no nipples.
So she can't have children.
Does she have a uterus? Does Barbie have a uterus?
I don't think so.
I don't either, frankly.
Because I've checked.
It's fascinating because...
Ken doll does not have nipples.
He has the definition.
He has everything but pecs, no nipples.
Yes.
Pecs, no nips.
And she has boobs, no nips.
So I guess that makes sense.
That adds up.
So we are in agreement that Christy Swanson,
even though she...
I don't think we are in agreement.
I think I'm agreeing with Jason that Christy Swanson
is the rare exception.
She's the mannequin with nips and an asshole and a vagina
because she's a frozen woman.
I agree.
Where does her butt start?
Where does her butt start?
Her butt starts in the front.
Oh, front butt?
Oh, are we talking about Christy Swanson's front butt?
It might be all butt from the front to the back.
She might just have a butt.
Search history is forever unclean.
And the only way that we can kind of recover from this
is to hear Meshack Taylor do something
that people might assume is rapping.
Take a listen.
Ugh.
Once upon a time,
a peasant girl was victim of a crime.
Was frozen ever since,
she dared to love the handsome prince.
Is that so wrong?
But alas, a thousand years had passed
since that spell from hell had been cast.
That is Hollywood now a part of the show.
Hollywood's job hard to pin down.
He is explaining to a bunch of onlookers
who don't give a shit about this mannequin.
Let me ask you this.
Yet they are applauding at the end
because a spaceship is coming down
to deliver her to a medieval themed stage.
Yes.
That's the other thing that makes no sense.
Nothing alien about this.
When there's not a presentation to do.
Yes.
What is Hollywood's job?
I would think designing a window display.
What if it was Hollywood?
He just like, I put this outfit on
and I kind of do this whole.
It's a paycheck, man.
I do this offensive stereotype.
I mean, I have to think that they're doing
a ton of presentations here.
Are they?
I don't know.
I mean, I still don't understand
what the department store even wanted.
Like what are they getting?
Although Tina Rama is coming to cover this event.
Tina Rama.
Tina Rama.
Tina Rama.
Do you understand what that means?
Tina Rama over here.
Oh my God.
Jack up the prices on all the jewelry.
And then we got that guy William Ragsdale to do it.
Yet a third character, a British guy.
They all were working it out.
Oh yeah.
Terry Kaiser's main thing was just to hit people in the face,
which I did kind of.
At a certain point, he gets into a full suit of armor.
Yes.
And I was like, where did this come from?
And she starts driving a car.
A go-kart.
A go-kart.
Very well.
And she's again, a peasant girl.
She drives the go-kart from like downtown Philly to Germantown.
To his house.
Yeah.
She drives a go-kart to the suburbs of Philadelphia.
To his house, which she somehow knows how to get to.
And they justify by saying, wow, she's got a great sense of direction.
She drives a go-kart through a plate glass window.
Under a truck.
Under a truck.
Under a truck.
It would shred her.
It would cut her to ribbons.
It would cut her genitals off.
It would suck skinner nipples.
Oh, guys.
Man alive.
And Andy and Gail finally get together because he like,
hairsprays the German guys.
Oh yeah.
And she like starts making out with him.
That's what I mean.
Like everybody is like.
Looking for love.
It's like, it's like the.
Even the girl, the perfume girl in the security guard.
That's Gail and Andy.
You know, that's.
It reminded me.
I didn't know their names.
I didn't know their names.
I dare you.
It reminded me of the horny friend from the horny friend from village people movie.
Her friend who was like always horny for all the village people.
It doesn't matter.
There's a village people movie.
Oh, it's amazing.
Can't stop the music.
You'll love it.
What? Here's what I thought the ending was going to be instead of putting the necklace
on Terry Kaiser, I thought they should have just killed them straight up.
They murder murder and murder that the, and this is this is my, this is my 80s male
chauvinist end of the movie that the necklace somehow falls into the hands of the security
guard.
And as that has a perfume, he puts it on her and then he gets to keep her.
That's that was.
That's not male chauvinist.
That is just creepy serial killer.
Oh yeah.
You know what it should be is the guy who loves the girl that the girl doesn't want to be with him
He should trap her with the necklace, but I thought that like it felt like that wouldn't have been out of the norm if he did
That they were gonna tie the necklace around each other's necks
And then grab hands and jump off
They're gonna kill themselves as mannequins they were gonna film it and Louise
Myself freeze-frame credits Wow, I would have liked that
Now that's from the first movie it was oh it was I was like oh they got starship to do the other best the best part of the
Movie in many ways is the song from the first movie Wow, okay?
That is a really wild ending you thought it was gonna be yeah
I was surprised
I thought they were just gonna straight up kill the bad guy and just sail away in the hot air balloon
Well, they do kind of what they do well
They kill the bad guy
It's a really disturbing end because in the garbage truck picks him up
They reveal that they have put him back together, but when they go back to Barbaria or every from the the tour guide goes
This is then and that's the story of the the whatever the count, but no one believes it
Well clear this just happened a couple weeks ago like it's probably in the news
You you woman who was the tour guide when you were showing the peasant girl earlier in the movie
Like the count was part of your country as of near weeks ago. Yeah, and you were giving the same be more as a known entity
You were giving the tour to the girl that the other the peasant girl
Yeah, I was actually here kind of freaked me out. It was like two months ago
Yes, she should have had like a little bit of an emotional moment. Well, that's it in that moment
I thought see in that moment. I thought we had jumped a thousand years ahead
I thought we were and I was like and I looked at the frame because I was like oh are we in the future now
What are they? How are they representing that and I was like? Oh, no, they're not dude. Malachan three is all Terry Kaiser
Yep, a thousand years in the future. Yeah, I love that future mall. It's it's 20 it's
29 by the way if these tour guys know this lore about these mannequins
Why don't they just fucking take the necklace off the mannequins and see for themselves? Yeah?
Yeah, I know yeah that now thought of a reason why Malachan is a bad is bad
It sounds it almost sounds like a male pelican
Not a male mannequin. Well, we could we could also mannequin is for men and women so we could keep it and a Kim mannequins
No wonder because mannequins
You know mannequin does imply that like the first mannequins were men. I
Don't I'm not sure. It's just a male world and we all have to accept it
Yeah, I mean I'm wonder what the etymology of the word is and I don't know that it's like man
I'm looking it up right now
Going to the definition a mannequin also called a mannequin a dummy a lay figure or a dress form is an articulated doll
Used by artists tailors dress makers and window dressers and others to display off fit clothing
It's life-sized dolls with simulated airways. Oh, they oh, it's also used for life-sized dolls with simulated airways
But genocilia anything about genocilia
They were using nuclear test
Does it say where the butts
Mannequin comes from the French word meaning mannequin
French word mannequin which was acquired which acquired the meaning an artist's jointed model which came from the Flemish word
Mannequin
Meaning little man figurine and it was used in United Kin United Kingdom. It referred to fashion models themselves
The meaning as a dummy dating from the start of World War two
Interesting guys. We really got to the bottom of it. We really did it and I'm just looking at mannequins with nipples right now
So anyway
Obviously we had an opinion about but there are other people out there who had a second opinion. It is now time for second opinions
All right, these are five-star reviews cold from Amazon they are weird, so let's get into it, okay
This is really interesting because these reviews are from an Amazon box set of mannequin two and mannequin one together
So you'll see a little bit of crossover here
This one is from Brenda hobby aka Taz Brita's
And this is written on August 19th 2014. So relatively new. I don't care for love stories
But you know how usually the first one is better than these second ones I made of hate
Well, these two are amazingly equal and they were so much more than a love story. Oh boy
They were clever. They were cunningly funny and they kept you drawn to the edge of your seat to see what can happen next
It was a damn goodbye and an awesome add to my DVD collection. Holy shit five stars
Five fucking stars stars. Nope
I get it. This one is one of my favorites of just all Amazon reviews. This is from Blonde Freddy written in
2012 I
Really like mannequin the best version is the second one
I have bought several movies kind of a lot of them and all are made with quality workmanship
The movies are perfect. No faults. Sound is awesome
Who would have thought Amazon comm would have great movies?
This is the place to buy a good movie or even rent one, too
I tell everyone to go to Amazon comm to buy all movies people always ask
Where's a good place to buy a good movie online? Easy answer Amazon comm of course
for Amazon
Sponsor this week five stars just because Amazon was good now. This is a thing that kind of came up a lot
Which was people did not like?
Kim Kutral they felt that she was too sexy and a lot of people like
Christie's wants and more because she was a little bit more genteel
But the rest are all written kind of like this
This is from get the dirt five stars get the dirt from Rebecca Durant
Okay, now bear with me on this. I
always think that Christie Swanson is a beautiful actress and in this movie her lover boyfriend
wants to treat her like a queen and
Also to fight for her honor so that is more like going after a
Man who has no knowledge to be a hitman to make things look like
Taking Christie hostage in his hot-air balloon and I think he's threatening the couple of love
Facing a fear and turning into stone in a magic spell
So he's taking a big dose of his medicine by kiddin in the napping the present princess
So that five star reviews
That's a five star that's a five and then that's followed by this one which is from Crazy Python also written in on
2012 first of all I didn't buy this DVD, but I will when I have the chance
Oh, we're having many financial problems here in Portugal. Oh, no, and while I don't want to start to go nuclear on the government
Nothing will ever change. Oh, boy, but I still love mannequin, too
I first saw them video five hundred years ago because of William Ragsdale Herman's head and Terry Kaiser
Let's face it
We can at Bernie's is a fantastic comedy and Herman's head was a very funny sitcom with both Hank Azaria and Yardley Smith from The Simpsons
Maybe shout will open their eyes and release this on DVD while we're still alive. Oh boy. Oh boy
But the story of mannequin to itself is quite amusing and entertaining
Who ever thought of finding a woman of their dreams in a magical place? I know I did so please don't care about
Professional film critics and their opinions. They're about as valid as yours by this DVD five stars
Don't care about their opinions, but they're as valid as yours. Yeah, so your opinion is equally invalid
There's I'm wondering now like they didn't even have the materials in medieval time to turn her into a
mannequin
Like she should have been stone
That's what I guess she would yeah or a really carved or a crude wood carving. Yes
She shouldn't have just turned into a modern-day mannequin. Yeah, no, she turned into a store mannequin
Which would not have existed in medieval times. No even remotely
But then you could argue that accents would probably be in medieval times, too
Let's go around the table. Would you recommend this movie June? Would you say watch this movie?
Actually, I didn't love watching this movie. Yeah, not a fan. Steve. Yeah, I totally recommend it
I I was telling Jason I had to go to Largo last night and I got halfway through the movie and my whole time at Largo
I was just going I can't wait to go back
It had huge holes. I hated the the German guys
so much but I
I thought it was kind of funny. I and I love Christy Swanson so much. Yeah, yeah
I would 100% watch this and I will I'm like I
Really I was gonna say I want to watch the first one because I know I saw it when it came out
But I have no reference points for it. I also highly recommend watching this movie. I enjoyed the hell out of it
I mean, it's crazy the music cues alone
I mean from if you're if you're my age if you're like in your 40s
If you were a teenager in the 80s the music cues alone are so satisfying
Oh, yeah for how like for the songs and the montages and just the ancillary kind of chase music like is so terrific
It's all sounds like like like forgotten oingo boingo song. It's so 80s even though it's in the 90s
Yeah, I will also say that that you can get both of these movies together in a great DVD combo pack
For almost three dollars. So unless you're in Portugal and don't make me go nuclear
I apologize to the people of Philadelphia. You have a great city, but you know, it doesn't hold a candle in New York suck it
All right, so Steve, do you have anything that you'd like to plug? Nope
You can just follow me on Instagram at Twitter at Steve A. G. You have amazing pictures on your
Instagram, I would highly recommend following you on that Jason anything you want to talk about no not really June anything you want to hit
watch the second season of Grayson Frankie on Netflix and
Lady Dynamites on Netflix to yay and and you can follow us on Twitter and on Facebook
That's where we announce everything about the show listen to our mini episodes because if you have a correction in omission
Something that we didn't talk about here. You'll have your chance to voice it
You can call us at 619 if you know where the butt starts if you know where the mannequin but starts, you know
You can do it. By the way, we could probably get the financing for Malik in three. Oh
I feel like we could probably get mannequin three Malik in
Financed and made oh
Easy not a bad idea. It's not who would we cast it would you cast as the Malik in
Chris Hemsworth of either John Hamm. Oh John Hamm would be great. Are you going a little bit older?
I think you got to go. Yeah, I would do like Liam Hemsworth James
Yeah, or like a
Zac Efron
Zac Efron like so it's Zac Efron's great. Yeah, okay, and then and Selena Gomez is she like the designer
Is it like something like that? Is it like?
Or is it something like Holly Hunter?
Wait guys guys guys guys it's Kim control
Reprising her part
Love yeah, and we get Christy Swanson in there. It's all three
Let's make this god damn
That's actually a great idea Zac Efron Christy Swanson
Kim control and in a clickably Holly Hunter for Paul
Holly Hunter just got at the Kim control because it's the same idea and we have and and and and we have to have
Unfortunately, Meshack Taylor passed away. We'd have to have Hollywood Sun. I believe in this movie
You have to find a young guy. You have to play that part guy from Kimmy Schmidt. Oh, yeah
That's a great idea. I was thinking go the opposite way make it like Hannibal Burris
I love it. All right. Well, thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you to everybody here at ear
Well, thank you to Averill Halley for playing together all those clips
Uh, Nate Kylie for doing all of our research on the movie producer that killed himself because of the financial downfall
Mursozites our big engineer Sam. I know I was gonna call you big
Everybody here at ear wolf July Diaz
Thank you so much for listening. Wow. What is happening? We are off the rails