How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow LIVE!

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Joe Mande (Hacks) and Tawny Newsome (Star Trek: Lower Decks) join Paul and Jason to break down the 2004 sci-fi adventure film Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, and Angelina Jolie. LIVE from Largo in LA, they talk about the awful blue screen effects, the bird planes, reanimating Laurence Olivier, Gwyneth Paltrow getting punched, and more. Plus, Joe Mande tells us about the time he got kicked out of an Uber because he didn't like the Johnny Depp movie Transcendence. (Originally Released 05/24/2018) Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, and more.Pre-Order Paul’s book about his childhood, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, wherever books are soldFor extra Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerHDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

Sky Captain, Sky Captain, come in! We're being attacked by too much CGI! It's all over the place and it's closing in fast! Help us before we all die of boredom! We saw Sky Captain in the world of tomorrow! You know what that means. Oh, how it's gone! Oh, how it's gone!

We made! How did Schwarzenegger grow a baby in his belly Rock a ron stone vest while ripping Justin to Kelly Or maybe see a burlesque show with Nick Crow And take a boat with speed to hitting cruise control J-Man, Big Paul, and the beautiful June Gonna take you from the goob all the way to the room Rander games and Street Fighter help to blow off steam

Just a sucker punch the odd life of Timothy Green Shocknado to Burdemicemic how we stayin alive they call it in the badass and he's on the line Cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice cause the bad Jim Barney looking kind and nice Paul and June getting literal Jason is getting laid June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid they judge a bunch of movies while they making the grade here's a real question for you how did this get made? Hello people of Earth! And hello people of Largo! We are so excited to be here tonight to be talking to you about Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.

If you've watched this movie, I apologize. I managed to avoid it until just this week, and boy, oh, boy, it's rough. But good thing we have an all-star panel tonight to help us dissect this blue screen masterpiece. Let me bring out my co-host, Jason Manzoukas! Welcome! What's up, jerks!

How we doing, everybody? What's up, LA? We're here to talk about a terrible monster. We're here to talk about a terrible monster. We're here to talk about a terrible monster. We're here to talk about a terrible monster. We're here to talk about a terrible monster. We're here to talk about a terrible monster. We're here to talk about a terrible monster. Sharks! How we doing everybody? What's up LA?

We're here to talk about a terrible movie. I'll ask this of every- A movie that is 90% real time navigation. A lot of maps, a lot of charts, a lot of compasses. And none of it was there. All of maps, a lot of charts, a lot of compasses. And none of it was there. All of it. Pointless. A movie in which Gwyneth Paltrow gets punched into unconsciousness. Sky Captain and the Turd of Tomorrow.

It is a problematic movie indeed for many a reason, but here's a question that I will- I did not enjoy this. Well, here's a question I will ask of everyone that comes out here. How long did it take you to get through this hour and 40 minute movie? I watched this movie today, okay?

And it was awful. It was awful. My first note is, I'm six minutes in and I'm already exhausted. Next note, wow, comma, this is awful. Next note, this must have been torture to make. Next note, this looks awful. Next note, I hate this boring movie. Next note, this looks awful. Next note, I hate this boring movie. Next note, how is it possible Giovanni Robisi

is still doing this map shit? This was happening all day for me. I watched this movie, I started the movie at 8 p.m. I finished it at 12.45 at night because I stopped it for breaks and I rewound it a numerous amount of times where I found that I just stopped paying attention. I finished this movie, I finished this movie

and was, I'm gonna be honest, furious. I was furious, but thankfully I realized I had enough time before I had to come here. Boom, Den of Thieves on iTunes, fucking killing it. Gerard Butler, the salve to all my woes. I was gonna think that that would be a good movie for this podcast. It is.

Great. Actually, no, it's not, cause it's fucking rad. If you are casting Den of Thieves 2, put me in that shit. I am excited for that now. All right, well, to break this movie down a little bit further,

we have a How Did This Get Made All Star. We haven't seen this person since Arnold Schwarzenegger was chasing after his very exciting Turbo Man toy. It was episode 28, an episode called Jingle All the Way. You know this guy from his hilarious Netflix special, Joe Mandi's award-winning comedy special, which is now also streaming. You don't have to watch it, you can listen to it, or wherever you listen to streaming comedy or anything like that. Please welcome Joe Mandy!

Woo, woo! Woo! Woo! Yeah. Welcome, Joe. Hello. Hello. This movie falls in the category of movies

that I feel guilty asking people to watch when they come do the podcast. No, no, no. I have a high tolerance for this kind of stuff do the podcast. No, no, no. I have a high tolerance for this kind of stuff. I loved it. I actually loved it. So you, did you digest it in one sitting?

Well, I'll be honest. I rented it last night and I got high. And then it's funny that you had the six minute mark because after six minutes I stopped just like, I've read more in these six minutes than I have a book this year. There's so much reading involved that I was like, I'm too high to watch this movie right now.

I gotta sleep this off. And it's also in soft focus too, so it also makes the reading challenging. The whole movie is shot, it was at the time, I think, very innovative to capture this look, but it's really just an Instagram filter. Like, they just shot the whole movie with, like, Valencia or whatever.

Willow. It also feels like they wanted to make the movie black and white, but someone was like, guys, guys, sepia. Sepia, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sepia. Please, please, you gotta, don't make it black and white. It won't work.

You know what sells tickets? Brown. Yeah. A real gauzy brown. Oh, you need that dirty yellow. Come on. Oof, my goof. It's straight up no good.

And I believe... There's lots of live action people running in front of animated backdrops, like it's a fucking banana splits goddamn nonsense, where they're like, what was the banana splits? Like, Tom Sawyer and, wait, how old is everybody here? I always- Does everybody know what I'm talking about?

Vis-a-vis banana squids. Right? Wasn't it Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn but it was all animated backgrounds? Yeah. Alright, thank you. Uh, it's rough. It is rough. And I'm gonna blow your mind on the sunset.

Yes, this was innovative. But it was also- No it wasn't! The amount of blue screen was innovative at the time. But Sin City came out the same year. They did it way better the same time. So it wasn't like, this wasn't like 1987. Like, you know, it was like, yeah.

It wasn't 1987. It was not. Was it 86? Yes. Yeah. Also here tonight to discuss the film, she is on two great podcasts, one called Yo Is This Racist?

and Super Group, you know her from shows like Bagillion Dollar Properties. Please welcome Tawny Newsome. Woo! Who pooped air. Woo! Welcome Tawny. Oh my God. Here Tawny. Oh, my God.

Here we go. Oh, boy. Now, Tawny, I know that you... Thank you. You also had issues with watching this in one sitting. How long did it take you to get through this? Three goddamn days. Uh, I rented this shit on Tuesday and was like, I can't do this to myself.

I don't need to go through this in one sitting. I'll watch it tomorrow. Got busy with life shit, didn't watch it tomorrow, watched it tomorrow's tomorrow. And if you're familiar with Murphy's Law, the simplest answer, no, it's more like iTunes Law of Rentals, which is when you wait 72 hours, you have to pay for this garbage movie again.

That's why I just buy now, because I never can watch it anymore. I can't buy it. Jude Law is gonna get a check in a couple months and be like, why did everybody, why did a whole mess of people rent this shit movie? I'm like horny young Dumbledore, what's up? I hope, I pray to God for my teenage self,

I pray to God Jude uses that money to stay bathing in yogurt and children's blood that keeps him looking so goddamn beautiful. But it was so bad, I was so mad to fork over that money again, only to find out I only had like 20 minutes left of it. And I was like, I could have predicted the ending of this. But the last 20 minutes, they do reveal the entire plot that we are kept in the dark for. We don't know exactly what's going on.

But we've seen the Wizard of Oz before, so we know what's going to happen. Well I just want to start off with this as my opening salvo here. Why does anyone assume we want this? I feel like there's this thing of like, oh, it's like the 1940s cereal. Now we like it when it's like Indiana Jones because it's like, it is like a cereal, but it's updated to a movie that people watch. But it's not like, we don't want a 1940s cereal.

Like, I don't think, right? It's... Is it just people want a lot of Tweed on white people? 1940s cereal, like, I don't think, right? It's... Is it just people want a lot of tweed on white people? Or a lot of people are like, you know what we don't have enough of in movies? Dirigibles. But it's this, I think it's this weird thing again that comes back into band. It's like, I feel like somebody is a fan of it and convinces other people, like,

you know what everyone wants to hear about? Vinyl. We'll make a whole series called Vinyl. I feel about the aesthetic, I feel about the aesthetic of this movie the way I feel also about like, steampunk. I'm like, I think this is a great big bag of no thanks. Yeah. I don't want this, I didn't ask for this, so get it out of my movies.

I'm looking at you, Peter Jackson, London on wheels or whatever this movie is that's coming out. I don't get it. No thanks. Like who made the, like, but didn't like the Farrelly brothers like remake the three stooges

and just like made three stooges? No, we are past it. It's okay to be past it. We don't have to go back to it. Yeah, this whole movie felt like it was, what are those called in video games, like cut scenes? Yes, yes. It was like a whole movie of a cut scene

for the video game version of The Rocketeer. I've also, yes. What the fuck am I watching? I've also seen cutscenes that had better acting in them than this movie. And better written dialogue. I would argue this is like a video game cutscene of like an old game, like Wing Commander or something like that.

Like it's not even a new game. I also find this to be a very rude reconciliation of Gwyneth and Jude since the talented Mr. Ripley. Like, how dare this be the next time we see them together. By the way. It should have been epic, fuck you. I feel like this is a snake oil salesman to kind of get this movie because Gwyneth Paltrow

signed on without a script, did not know what she was doing. She saw like a screen saver that that guy made. Oh those toasters have wings I'm in. She saw a moving Magic Eye poster and was like I want to be a map. You're telling me this movie has blimps and maps? I'm in. She's been looking for a good blimp and map project. Blimps, maps and robots? I'm in. Yeah. She's been looking for a good blimp and map project. Ooh, blimps, maps, and robots? Yes, please. This movie is trash.

It did make me, like, long for the Star Wars prequels. I was like, yeah. Give me something. Give me something tactile. Everything felt, like, gauzy. It was like, what are we doing? And like, this is like, I pull this one still, just be like, like that's it. Like Angelina Jolie just blew, there's nothing there.

Just nothing. She worked on this movie for 14 minutes of one day. And was probably paid $7 million to do it. God bless, I hope she'll, I hope. She's paid seven million dollars. God bless, I hope she, I hope. She's paid seven million maps. All the maps you can carry. CGI maps, now you should have asked. In which maps are currency?

The movie shot in 29 days, Angelina Jolie shot for three of the 29 days. Wait, if it shot for 29 days, how is that possible? Because the movie itself is 32 days long. Wow. Yes, that's crazy. 29 days, I will say, is an incredibly short amount. Like, a 29-day shoot is like a indie movie. Yes.

Like, that's crazy that they did that, and then somebody basically took an amount of time to paint nonsense pictures behind them. Yeah. Apparently the director shot the entire movie with stand-ins, then showed them their scenes, and they just duplicated the moves of the stand-ins and then that's how they were able to get it done so quickly. And these three A-list actors looked at this trash and said, yes, yes, I want to be in this adult highlights magazine.

Well, I don't want to be in this adult highlights magazine. Well... Ha-ha-ha! I don't want to spoil anything. There are four A-list actors, one of whom is a dead man. Oh, yeah! Yes! It's like... Like, so much more... Like, people got so mad about the hologram Tupac, this is so much more awful to do to a person's legacy.

So unfair. Laurence Olivier was culled together by used footage and only was in the movie because Jude Law was like, I've always wanted to act with Lawrence Olivier. And the director's like, you got it, bud. Here he is right here. Nothing's there. We'll put it in post.

Don't worry about it. Yeah, we'll just like max Headroom, the greatest actor of all there. We'll put it in post. Don't worry about it. Yeah, we'll just like Max Headroom, the greatest actor of all time. It'll be fine. I wrote Max Headroom down in my thing as well. It is egregious what they do in this movie. It's awful. To Giovanni Ribisi.

Yes. Giovanni Ribisi, was his gum CGI? No, he has gum in every movie he does. It's in his writer at this point. Why is he so, he apparently is one of the probably smartest people on the planet according to the movie, but he treats Jude Law like Jude Law is the boss. Like apparently Giavanni Ribisi should be the boss.

He can like, he's important. He can like, he's important. He can like understand what's up. Also it felt like in the first draft of the movie Giovanni Robisi's character is a smart dog because every time he does something Jude Law goes, good boy. He calls him good boy the entire time. You're a good boy. And he's like, thanks, Cap. And I'm like, I don't like this relationship at all. I gotta see what the age difference is because it doesn't seem like they're that great, like, difference.

They're not, they're like the same. Two years? No way, oh yeah, you can't be- You'd never know it, Jude could be 65 goddamn years old. And still be young Dumbledore. What is Gwyneth Paltrow? Is she a reporter or a photographer?

Wait, you're asking what is Gwyneth Paltrow? I mean, what is her role? A photographer? She's like a whole bunch of goop in a really shiny package. Woo! Nailed it. But I was confused about her role. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. as well. Like the dumbest character, so one-dimensional, unbelievable. The worst character arc I've ever seen maybe is like this reporter is very concerned she's gonna run out of photos. That's like if you had a character arc

that was like this hostess isn't sure if all her guests like their bread mayonnaise on both sides. Or this woman doesn't want to wash her car she's worried it's gonna rain and that's kind of what drives her. or this woman doesn't want to wash her car. She's worried it's going to rain and that's kind of what drives her. Or this woman doesn't want to take off her mascara because her friends might text and they might still go out but then they're not texting. So she's just watching Netflix in her mascara. Like it's not a character trait.

Yeah. So bad. How about, how about when Gwyneth Paltrow in the back of the plane pulls out a journal from one of the scientists and just basically reads exposition about the bad guy. She's then just looking at photos and just inferring things. And it is exposition written as if it's from an exposition description. Not like you would enter in your journal.

She pulled out the script of the movie and just started reading the stage director. It's like he apparently was, you know, like... While looking at a photo. Yeah, he was apparently disgraced from this, but wanted to... I was like, what the fuck is happening? And it talks to my biggest problem with this movie, which is no one reacts to any environment that they're in. She's in a fucking plane.

It's like, well, so anyway. A plane that can fly from the United States to Nepal so easily. And become a submarine too. Oh, that's right. They're driving down, they have a chase scene in New York City that is like a car chase with airplanes flying so low.

Take a left at the drug store. It's like, okay. Well, it's also every woman's experience talking to her Lyft or Uber driver just being like, no, trust me, I know these streets. No, trust me, turn left. No, please turn left. And they're like, well, I don't know, the GPS set. And you're like,

no, I fucking live here, just turn left. And she doesn't know because she messes up the directions. Like she messes up. You think- Right, she's dumb. Yeah. She never gets-

She's a dumb broad. That's her character. She's an award winning journalist, but her whole character is like, I need to get pictures of this. Why would anyone trust my writing? Yeah. And Michael, her publisher, Michael Gambon,

is like, where are you? What are you doing? I'm nervous. She also, I mean, I know this is a nitpicky note, but she has essentially what would be like an automatic camera. Like there's no zooming in features on that camera. She's always like,

only thing I picture is this giant robot. It would be a shitty picture. It would be a nondescript picture. Yeah, it's not even a good camera. That's my issue. That's my issue. For you, for you you were like, oh, if she'd only had a Leica,

then I would buy into this movie more. And I'm not saying it because Leica's the sponsor of the show and has a great digital camera. But Leica, please send me a camera. Please. Send us cameras, Leica. I'd also just like to mention that the very first frame of this film is a, is an image of the Hindenburg, which is a giant bloated thing known to be a famous disaster. Like it's like that's how you're starting this $700 million movie. And the words Hindenburg. Yeah, there it is.

Take a look. This is how we open up the movie. Symbol of the movie. And... Hindenburg three. Right. So you meant to believe that like, oh, they really worked out the kinks.

Yeah. Well, yes. I mean, this is very strange. It's an alternate universe where like it's 19 late 30s. But like the Nazis. Future past. The Nazis. The camera is never not moving.

The whole movie is like. Dutch angle. Because the plot doesn't. Dutch angle nonsense. There are moments in this movie where text is all over the screen, like when they're typing at the office, like. Yes, that's what I'm talking about. We have to read all this shit.

All right, sure, I'm getting this. Inamberg 3, New York Docs. Maiden voyage, airship, US backs, police seek. Scientist. Polly Perkins. Oh, Polly Perkins, she wrote that. Professor Orhay. Oh, OK, Chronicle.

Organs, chocolatier. That must be where she, oh, Metro. Polly Garter. She works in the Metro division. Oh, okay, Chronicle. Or it's chocolatier. That must be where she, oh, Metro. She works in the Metro division. She starts typing and then words has come flying in. Yeah, they're. Okay, fuck. Conservative. Color-based.

Scientist. Scientology. Okay. Meek Mill. Missing. Missing. All right. So much text. So much text.

Too much text. It's very important to the movie. I like when the guy on the Hindenburg is like, oh, I'm going to tell you this super secret thing, and then they turn back and he's gone. He's still on the blimp somewhere, I promise. But they also make it like he's gone, and then they do another shot where you see him

walking off the blimp. So it seemed like... Now, it's weird, because I was like, is that scientist missing? I hope that comes back. I hope there's text about that at some point. I'd like to know what happened with that scientist. Gosh, I hope he's not missing.

Also, I got to say, I thought that the... It was pretty anticlimactic docking with the Empire State Building. No one seemed excited about it. It was the first time that, if that was front page news, you would think people were like, hey, or there'd be some level of excitement. He walks off as if he was like the last person out

of seeing like a matinee of a quiet place, like in the middle of the week. Like, well, all right, that was good. I enjoyed it. That was fun. Yeah. Oh God, this movie. I just really have like verbs and adjectives here, I'm like bird planes, robot planes, backseat driving, Sala.

Can I talk about the first shot of Jude Law? Oh yeah. Because I looked at my notes and I remembered I wanted to bring this up. Jude Law, the first shot of Jude Law is not Jude Law. It's like, it proved to me that it's him. He is so covered. He's got like a high collar fur bomber jacket situation. He's got like goggles on. He's got a hat. His eyes are just Cate Blanchett. Like it is, it is not Jude Law. I think it's Cate Blanchett. I think she was the stand-in.

I love it. Yeah and I think she shot this movie before Jude Law. So you think it's Cate Blanchett? I think it's Cate Blanchett. I think she was the stand-in. She was the stand-in. I love it. Yeah. And I think she shot this movie before Jude Law stepped in and went, yeah, I can one-up old Katie. If you look at that shot, it's not him. Well, Skyca- I'm kind of confused about what a Sky Captain is and what their job is, because at one point they're like, robots are attacking the city.

Sky Captain will figure it out. It's like, really? Okay, is that his job? He seems to be some sort of superhero, so much so that when the bird planes attack the base that he's at, they don't scramble any- By the way, the stupidest thing, bird planes. That's what they are.

That's what they fucking are. Planes are birds. It's like that's what they- They don't need to have wings that flap. Yeah. Flap, no. But they basically only scramble him to get out there and fight them. They have so many planes on the ground, none of which do they launch into the air to fight these bird planes.

They just get him out there so he can take them all down. And I don't even understand now that I've seen the whole movie what the bird planes or the robot planes even were doing. I don't think they know that I've seen the whole movie what the bird planes or the robot planes even were doing. I don't think they know. They were stealing the generators. They were stealing minerals or whatever. But, but to, and were they putting that in the Noah's Ark? They were stealing a precious tiny elephant.

Oh, I did like the tiny elephant. Yeah, that was cute. You're right. Oh, I loved the tiny elephant. Yeah, that was cute. You're right. Oh, I loved the tiny elephant. Tiny elephant is the best part. But it did lead me to believe that Jude Law had superhero powers, because they did only scramble him out there. I was sitting there thinking, well, this motherfucker is Superman or some shit.

Well, just like somebody, they have so much exposition in this movie. Go, sky captains are? And it's like, tell us, let someone know. Is he just a part of the Air Force? Is he a superhero? What's the deal? Because Angelina Jolie seemingly is cool. Nick Fury.

Well, she's a sky pirate. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Angelina Jolie is a Nick Fury character. She has an eye patch, and she is in a floating hover thing. Like an aircraft carrier. In the sky. That's just Nick Fury. But British.

But British, yes. The title of this movie actually, now that you bring it up, What's a Sky Captain, it seems like it's that thing where a movie is released in Thailand or something, and they can't accurately describe it. And so it's like, it's like, initially it's called like airplane pilot and the future.

And it's like, sky captain, that's close enough. The world of tomorrow. And are we meant to believe that the world of tomorrow is the world that they go to, like the Shangri-La world in Nepal? I think they said it's what will happen with the space Noah's Ark. Right, because the space Noah's Ark will blow up.

Oh, I miss that. The Ark is the world of tomorrow. I miss that entirely. Where is that thing going? Where is it going? Where is it going? Mars? Mars is a new planet, right?

Yeah, they didn't specify what planet. I mean, here's the basic, I mean, if you want to understand the whole movie, here it is, Good Boy Dex, he explains the whole thing right here. This comes in the very last 10 minutes of the movie. Good Boy Dex. Thanks, guy.

Who are they? They're unit 11. Oh, it's left of them. They were brought here to finish what they started 30 years ago. Finish what? Tell them. Oh, keep watching. Watching this mix reminds me, Jude Law is an idiot. Jude Law's character in this movie has been given all of the information he needs to know

who these men are, what's going on, and what's happening. So either they are so uncomfortable with where they are in the movie that they're like, the audience won't know what's happening, we have to explain it to them, or he's a fucking moron. His character is like, I've not been listening to anyone. I've just been thinking about maps. I'm all about the maps. I'm all about fuel and maps.

That's my gig, baby. Everything else, I don't care about at all. Can I? Until I get to punch Gwyneth Paltrow. What is this role? This is crazy. I will just say this, which is interesting. The two filmmakers, the way, so go initially. There was two?

Two. Initially, Cary and his brother Kevin had nothing more than just a vague idea of this guy who flew a plane. And then, and then he made the movie. And then we would talk about all the stuff that we like, like Indiana Jones. And that was, that's his, that was the creative process. Also, also this is the other thing that really bummed me out.

Carey, the director of the film, had never been to New York City when he made the film. Kind of a bummer. It's like that, it feels like the movie takes place, like, yeah, I got it from pictures, I got it. The big set piece of my whole movie, man, I got it. I can see him being like, you know what? I'd never been to 1942 either.

And I nailed that. And I fucking crushed it. Nailed that. Where's the lie? Oh my gosh. And apparently they were really bummed out because the entire movie was shot on blue screen screen but there's one scene that they actually shot in a real location because they ran out of time.

Yes, the office, Polly's editor's office. So it's the only scene in the entire movie shot. You can't do that on a blue screen. You can't put a desk in front of a blue screen. It's like they ran out of time. Michael Gambon was like, I need a real room or I'm gonna freak out. I certainly most won't do this shit. Put me in a real room.

I am the second Dumbledore. One of two Dumbledores in this movie, guys. Oh, you didn't think I would notice there's two goddamn Dumbledores in this movie? Because there is. Two fucking Dumbledores. Do you want to hear the rest of the plot of the movie? It's just a little bit more to hear the rest of it. Masterpiece, seeds of a technological utopia. He smuggles them off this island, and only Todenkov would never leave without them. But now that he has them again, there is nothing left to keep him here.

Then let him go. Let him go where he can't harm anyone. No, no, no, no. That ship must never leave this Earth. Why? What haven't you told us? When the rocket reaches 100 kilometers at the edge of space, Earth will be incinerated. How do we stop it? Only Tobaccon can stop it now, but we've never been allowed near him. He's too well guarded even to be seen. Where is he?

We're on our way, Cap. Good boy, Dex. So that seems, that seems, is bookended by good boy Dex. Yeah. That is so much exposition, and I, like, that is, no, we don't know that. As the movie goer, like, you don't know any of that information. No.

That the world is gonna blow up, that their plan is for the world of tomorrow, that it's Adam and Eve. Everything is laid out, like, real last minute. Even, I still don't know what the Adam and Eve thing is. Because they... They were in the vials, Joe. But yeah.

The whole movie, she's handed to whip it. And then she's like keeping them safe. And at the end it's like, yeah, it's full of sperm and eggs or whatever. I don't know what's inside. It's the birth of civilization. It's Adam and Eve. But yeah, but it's tiny people shrunk down like the elephants.

It would need a catalyst of some kind to, like, you can't just shoot sperm up in space and be like, don't worry about it. It'll get done. It'll figure it out. Shit will figure out. Pussy. And then they'll breed. They'll breed, they'll be cool.

Yeah, it seems odd. It seems like it should have been planted in something. Or inhaled. This, oh my gosh. Can we talk about the character that's clearly, as I said, their inspiration was Indiana Jones, the Sala character, like the guy who's their buddy who they wind up naked in bed with at one point. Yeah. Oh, the cool wake up where it's just like Gwyneth Paltrow being like was I raped? Is that what happened here? Like she just looks

around like what happened? Well she's like very concerned that Jude Law has raped her like we're naked and then they like zoom out and the three of them and she's like not concerned about him. She's like I'm fine if he did it. Yeah she's like I'm cool with Kaji but I don't like it if Jude Law is here. Right, because he was mean to me once. Because there's also flower petals on the bed? Why? Why? Why was it romantic?

Yeah, they really, uh... It's like a jerk-off massage parlor. So you mean a massage parlor? Yeah. Like a nice one. So this guy, this Sala guy, which I think has the best line in the entire movie, you know, they get him to work for him for Vienna sausages.

That should go to Dex for being a good boy. Yeah. That should be his treat. He may have stole them from Dex. Here we go. Are are the maps I needed. Yeah, they're inside. Can you get a little something for me? Of course.

Three cases, just like you asked. Vienna sausages. My God, it's been so long. Kaji, how's your Tibetan? Wien chong, you're awesome. So when he asked them, when he asked them if he could speak the language, when he says, can you speak the language, he goes, to be like, yes I do, he says, when cold nipples hard.

So the answer is no. Yeah. Well, most of my, like, most of my understanding of other languages is how to convey the state of my nipples. Vis-a-vis the temperature that we find ourselves at. With zero prepositions. It's like, do you speak the language? When rug stand, here I do.

Gwyneth Paltrow really should burn every copy of this movie. I mean, better than this. The light, I can't understand any light source in this movie. I know, I was about to say that you said. Where, where is the, what, what are we,

is this the sun? That's doing, what is going on? Only, only like crescent moons of people's faces are illuminated. The shoot was 29 days. Everyone was performing their lines into the ether while someone stood next to them with a flashlight. Like...

LAUGHTER And every angle that anyone was photographed at or filmed at looks like they're the other face in a velvet painting, you know? You have the one that's looking at you and then the one above you that's just like straight up 45 degree angle profile. That's the dead twin. That's the dead twin. That's the one that was absorbed.

I'm alive. My twin is dead. Apparently Angelina Jolie did a lot of work on this movie, like as far as researching her character, she spent... Yeah, I read this. This is insane. What? What? Yeah, she spent... In preparation for her role, Angelina Jolie met and interviewed dozens of

British World War two veterans and pilots untrue And adopted them you mentioned those You're mine now Here's a little taste of Angelina Jolie, her first entrance. Oh, by the way, just one quick thing. You can see it here in the audience. All the extras were also never on set. He shot the extras without them being there. So you see her walking through, but really what it is...

So that's... She's the only live person there. Yes, as this shows. So, um, because... So that she didn't have to be near, like, civilians? No, no. It was simply because the director felt like he could manipulate them better by shooting them all against a blue screen and then putting them in the way he wanted.

So he basically was like, I could never create a formation of four men standing. So let me do that in post and I can worry about this. Which again, I just think every scene feels like nobody and nothing is there. Joseph Sullivan. I was sure you'd be dead by now. It's good to see you too, Frankie. This had better be important. Or one of us is in trouble.

It's important. What was that? Gwyneth Paltrow also pregnant throughout this entire- You be nice. Commander Cook, we Polly Perkins. Polly Perkins, I've heard so much about you. It's a pleasure to finally meet the competition.

Can you pause? It's been a long time. Polly and Angelina? Yes. If you can? Absolutely. Did they have to put her eyebrow above the eye patch? Right? That's not her eyebrow, right?

They put that there, I think. It almost looks like the eye patch is inserted inside her eye socket. It seems as though that eyebrow is for the eye patch itself, not for her eyeball. It's the past future, Jason. That's how they do it. I've got a lot of questions about this eyebrow. I want to look at it. It's also, it's the sexiest eye patch I've ever seen. It's like the slinkiest, it's like the thong of eye patches. It's like, do you wanna show,

do you wanna have a missing eye, but do you also wanna look like a slut? Please. Slim this out. Oh yeah, everybody knows it's like nothing but an eye pussy underneath that patch. Just barely covering that eye. Yeah. Well, that's the thing is like,

this becomes a sort of love triangle where Gwyneth Paltrow gets kind of jealous of Angelina Jolie for some kind of tryst that they clearly had in Nanjing. And it's like, well, is that how she lost her eye? Like, do they're like some kind of like sexual mishap? Like... I'm... I'm missing some... Was there some kind of sexual mishap?

Like, they don't explain it. All we know is that they were in Nanjing. I'm so impressed you remembered Nanjing, first of all. Thank you. For three months of Jude Law's relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow, he was cheating on her with Angelina Jolie. But then Gwyneth Paltrow did something super psycho, too, which was like, sabotage his plane. Downed his plane so he became like a POW.

Because, so there's blame on both sides here. Now when he doesn't like help her get down the plane, it just makes her slide down the wing. You're like, I get it. I love the message of this movie is like, this man was a cheating dog, but this woman tried to kill him. Women, you know, and it's like, uh. a cheating dog, but this woman tried to kill him women

You know it's like So she should be here they should both just hit each other The dynamite locker scene oh yeah, oh that rule cool that rule cool there is a like they get trapped in a, in a, like, safe, and they turn around and there's a wily coyote-level wall of dynamite. Like as if it just got mailed from Acme itself. Even did that effect of, like, boxes of dynamite and then it then it like tilted up to see that it went on forever? Because by the way, even two boxes of dynamite

would kill them fine. You don't even need 15, 35 boxes of dynamite. They're dead. But no, yeah, that was so stupid. The movie is stupid. Like, and it's like, and I don't wanna be like, oh, the CGI sucks. Like, take that all out of the equation.

Let's just go plot. Yeah, the thing is, like, if they wanted to do an Indiana, like, Indiana Jones is capable. You know what I mean? Like, he is an adventurer, an archeologist. We understand his profession. Yes. And...

He's not a sky captain. Jude, yeah, Jude Law in this movie is like, what if a cartoon character came to life and was the star of the movie? You know what I mean? Like it's that, like he's that thin. Well I would argue his plane is more interesting than him. His plane does more cool things than Jude Law does.

Jude Law doesn't have any power or skill. The villain is more interesting than Jude Law is, and he died 20 years ago. Well, I don't... What's better than a villain that is already deceased? What are we doing? To what end? What is this movie?

Why did this happen to us? What is this movie? Why did this happen to us? Is this a crime? Can we sue? If so, who? Tell me! I would like to sue them for the fact that I had to watch this movie. You know, I was thinking about this. So the whole thing about this movie was there was a short. A six minute short that looked just like the film. Wait, this movie was six minutes long? This felt like an hour and a half. Why didn't you let us watch that one?

I know, we should. It was somewhere between six minutes and 32 days. So this is by the way, I'm just going to scrub through it. I passed away during this movie. So this movie is my Jacobs Ladder scenario. That's what I guess that's what I assume I deserve. So basically like you look at this movie, the short film, it looks just like, you know, it looks just like the movie

and they do the whole thing in six minutes. Cool. And or seven. Yeah. Right. And so someone said, let's just like the movie and they do the whole thing in six minutes. Cool! By the way, cool! Yeah, right? And so someone said let's make that a movie and I thought oh this is like the pixels of 19... Yes, it's proto pixels. Yeah, right, because people saw pixels like that's really cool. They're like let's make it a movie. No! Let's not! Wait, was pixels a short? Yeah, like a really cool looking short and they're like let's now have like, Josh Gad fuck Pac-Man. Like, I mean, that became like...

No, it's Qbert. I believe it's Qbert. Qbert, Qbert, yeah, you're right. Sorry. Pac-Man would never. I only say that because like, Qbert's like begging for it. Qbert also has a really cool eyebrow over his nose. Yeah, no, it's a bizarre thing. You feel like people got so excited about this technology that they just forgot to ask every other question

you would ask on any other movie. Like, why are there killer robots but Giovanni Ribisi still has to use a paper compass? Like, what is this technology world that both can exist? robots but Giovanni Ribisi still has to use a paper compass. Like what is this technology world that both can exist? And why do you need maps when the ground you're flying over is a map? Like they're flying over the earth and it's like oh well it says right there it's the East China Sea I guess we're going in the right direction.

There are so many scenes where they're just like in the back like figuring it out. You know what I'm like, shouldn't somebody be flying? Shouldn't something be happening? I don't know. There's a scene that actually, and you can tell that I was high when I was watching it because I stopped the movie because it didn't make sense in my head, but like, Gwyneth Paltrow has been, is jealous. She's just a jealous woman for about, I would say, 35 minutes of the movie. When she does some of her classic harumphs.

Yes, so many harumphs. They get to like the Skull Island or wherever the fuck they are. Yeah, his monster. They park their seaplane. She's still fuming that Jude Law has, is like wants to fuck that pirate or whatever. And then she gets out of the plane and then she looks down and his,

the like number on the tail of his airplane is like lowercase H dash 11 dash lowercase O lowercasecase D, I believe. And then she looks down and the reflection in the water, when she looks down, it says the word Holly, like her Polly, her name. And then she smiles because she's like, oh, he loves me, that's a sign that he named his plane that,

so if in the water it's reflected, that's my name. And then I was like, that can't, that's not. It's not. Then I like wrote it out. I paused the movie and wrote down H-O-11. And it spells yalop. So that means that for him to prove that he loves her secretly, even subconsciously, she would have needed to see the water reflection and then look at that in a mirror.

That's true love. I should earn money for that. Like I should be paid for, like, fuck you. I can't believe I put that much mental energy To find a hole that's like an in a movie quest. Yeah But that that should go to the Harvard of fuck this movie, but this is like the But that's the anger level that you get with this movie because it's like why well it is it's it's it's Infuriating to you. It's like, or at least to me, it was like,

it could just, I don't know, it could have been better, it could have been simpler, it could have been a million things, but it's like, it just gets worse and worse and worse. I'm okay for that first sequence, I thought, all right, this is actually not that bad. And then it just like, no, it is, and it will get worse. We will show you, like, we will make you upset.

You mean the first six minutes? You're like, I can't wait to read this movie. Yeah. I love books. I was like, all right, cool, robots in the street, I'm down, I'll watch this. Gwyneth Paltrow, I don't understand why you're not running away from these robots,

but you're just standing under toe at any given point and you have a million buildings to run into. It's fine. I do like that everyone is slightly looking at the wrong eye line. Yeah. The whole time everyone's kind of looking at the different thing. How tall are these robots? It keeps it exciting. I also love the underwater explosions. That made me really extremely angry because I was like okay maybe this movie isn't for me. Maybe it's just for like sci-fi people

who are willing to like take some but sci-fi people know that you cannot have fire sustained underwater. And they have the, you know, they're flying or they're swimming or whatever the fuck these sub planes do. And when they hit a rock, suddenly there's like a big explosion as though it's out in space. Fire doesn't work underwater. It made me so mad for people that are smarter than me

that know why fire doesn't work underwater. Well, at least Gwyneth Paltrow's character at the end here also gets a little bit like, she finally, you know, she finally wins because she gets that great shot. Well, throughout the movie, she's about to take a picture. She's about to get a picture of like a dragon and she's like no I can't I only have two pictures. Use it on the dragon. I would use it on the dragon Yeah, or the future Noah's Ark. Yeah use it once or the Lucy Lucy Arnaz What you might call it like, you know machine conveyor Conveyor belt. You know what I'm trying to say?

Conveyor belt. Thank you. I call that a Lucy Arnaz. I feel you. I do too. It's a perfect... It's era appropriate for the movie. By the way, Lucy Arnaz is a great...

She's not often referred to as Lucy Arnaz. You know. It's good. Thank you for referring to her as Lucy Arnaz. You're welcome, you guys. Desi's wife. But like, so... So...

The Desi Junior's mom. Of Desi. So, but you know, see, this person has been maligned and she's kind of been treated badly the entire movie. She has her final shot. She's gonna take it of this great thing and then she's like, no, I'm gonna take it as sky captain. And then she takes it and then he goes, lens caps on.

And that's how the movie ends. Wait, who just gasped? Somebody in the audience just gasped like, oh no! Don't gasp for Gwyneth Paltrow's camera work in this terrible movie. Yeah, did you gasp because wewyneth Paltrow's camera work in this terrible movie. Yeah, did you gasp because we spoiled this trash film for you? Oh no, you mean she took it?

Oh no. By the way, I did- She is funny because she's stupid. Well that's like, I was like, you don't give her anything. No. Like, you don't go like, oh, at least you got that picture. Nope.

No, she got one thing. She got punched in the face. Got punched in the face. This character whose driving force has been what pictures are good gets punched in the face, gets a man who doesn't even love her because he can't reflection, reverse spell her name. Right. Then at the end, she takes a picture

of the inside of a lens cap. And he just, the last word of the film is lens cap. It's like, it's like the, it's like toe pick, you know? It's just like lens cap. Well it's like The Aristocrats or something. That's it. It's just like lens cap.

Also, Sky Captain is the least compelling character of all the heroes. Every, she should be, everybody should be into the scientists or Dex or anybody. Sky Captain is like a moron who just flies. But they both are. She gives up her picture for a picture of him. She could take a picture of him any fucking day of the week. Like, but like.

She took a picture of the ground at one point. Yeah. And he laughed at her face and called her stupid. Can I say something? This is what I'm gonna say. I think Totenkopf is right. Let's fucking blow up this world. Let's start fresh.

With tiny animals. I agree with you. I was thinking the same thing. So it was like, just disarm the part where the world explodes. Like, go ahead, fucking make a new life with small elephants or whatever. Like, who cares? Great! Let's do it!

Tiny animals, human beings, start from scratch. I get it. Thanos was right. Oh, my goodness. Well, let's see what you have to say audience. We're gonna come out here for another chance of correction and omission. All right, you sir, come over here. Come down to the aisles.

Come out to the aisles if you're deep in the aisles so I can get to you. All right, sir, your title for this film and your question. Sky Captor, the best movie I've fucking made. Alright, great. This is the director of Sky Captor in the World tomorrow. And your question. Two observations. When, what's her name, Gwyneth Paltrow, when she gets off the phone in the phone booth, she runs away from the robots and the cop says, stop, come back.

Yes. And then, oh, what was my other one? Oh yeah, so Sky Captain is known for having milk of magnesium, which is supposed to settle your stomach, but also it relieves constipation. So for a 19-hour plane trip from New York City to Nepal using modern-day speeds and technology, he would be shitting himself so hard the entire time.

I love that that guy just was like, I was gonna say that, nevermind. Yeah. That was great. Yeah, so by the way, if your question is based on milk of magnesium and diarrhea, you can sit down. We got it. Wow, the entire audience just sat. Oh yeah, no. of magnesium and diarrhea, you can sit down. We got it. It's been-

Wow, the entire audience just sat. Oh yeah, no. What a lot of people don't realize is that this movie is scat porn. All right, sir, your title of the film and your question. Actually, the tagline. Okay, great. The sky's the limit, but not for my patients.

Great. We've pointed out... And you're a doctor in this scenario right? Good job Paul. Solid. We've pointed out that Polly Perkins is not very smart yet she knows Morse code and she can read German inexplicably to hit an eject button of the rocket where it collapses out from underneath Well, we don't know that it might just be a German word that if you look hard enough it turns into it's a magic eye Magic eye painting you look at it hard enough. That was the dumbest thing too. It's like Do we the audience not like, like, I mean,

why couldn't you just communicate that without the word changing into eject? Oh, that was lame. I do wanna know, that milk of Magnesia was clearly real. Everything in this movie was smoke and mirrors and bullshit and finger painting, but that milk of Magnesia turned my stomach in a way that only true, sloggy, milky fucking stomach shit can.

Just a viscous. A thick, viscous, white liquid. Well, you imagine the prop master probably spent the most time on it because he had like four things to get. Map, compass, milk of magnesium, eye patch. All right, your name of the film and your question. Fuzzy robots and the A-list celebrities.

Nice. I was curious, have anyone else noticed that lobotomized Gwyneth Paltrow kept falling? And if that brought you any joy, then it brought me. You know, it makes her relatable. Anything to knock her off her high horse. you any joy that it brought me. You know, it makes her relatable. Anything to knock her off her high. She's too dumb to walk. I loved, I noticed that too, and I loved that when she fell, her arms always went up in

a way that was like, I'm falling but I'm also a beautiful bird. I'm falling but maybe I'm about to take off. Your title and your question. My title is a sky captain in the world of gaslighting. And my question is if anyone can explain the assassin robot lady. Yes. assassin robot lady. Yes, Bae Ling plays the assassin robot lady who, again. Wait, Bae Ling from Crank Two? Of course.

I didn't realize that's who it was. Yeah, she does like slow motion parkour. Which is also just climbing. Yeah, but like in a very like, like, like as if she's floating. She also likes... I thought she was a witch or a ghost when I first saw her. Because the movie does have a lot of crazy things in it, but...

Because she does like kind of fly, or I guess that's slow motion parkour, but... I don't know. But she is a robot. She's a robot. I thought that... I sort of concluded that she had absorbed Lawrence Olivier's consciousness. Well because they say when his Max Headroom head goes away and they see his dead body, they were like, he's become this spaceship, it's the wires and the... You mean when they're all in the wizard's throne room?

Yes. It's like Dorothy and the Scarecrow, Nips and Russell and all them standing there. What was that Johnny Depp movie? Transference. Yeah, he uploaded his transcendence. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Transcendence, this is a tangent.

I have a low score on Uber because I saw Transcendence. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Transcendence, this is a tangent. I have a low score on Uber because I saw Transcendence and then got into a fight with my Uber driver who liked Transcendence. I was like, are you fucking dumb? That movie's terrible. And then he was like, I'm not driving you and he pulled me over. What?

It was crazy. It was truly crazy. And how did you get into Transcendence with the Uber driver? Why are you talking to your Uber driver? What's wrong? Are you lonely? No, I won't, yes.

I went to Transcendence by myself. I had eaten an edible, and then I called an Uber and I was just like equally mad about that movie and then the guy was like, you see a movie? I was like, yeah, fucking sucked and he was like, what is it? Transcendence. Oh, I like that movie and then for like, I mean, it's on me for like three minutes I was like, are you dumb? And then I listed all the reasons why Transcendence was bad and then he was like very mad I love that you didn't wait until you got home

Like the move is wait till you get home open the door and be like hey just for the record you're a moron Yeah, well then he would have known where you lived so you probably were better off dropped off on the side of the room Yeah, all right worth it. I Can't use uber now now so I guess I'm like an activist or whatever. Okay sir, your title and your question. Title is Sky Captain and the briefcase of exposition and my question is where in the hell is his base? It's in some weird alpine island that's a ten minute drive from Manhattan?

It's in White Plains. Yeah. Yeah, Chappaqua, I think. SUNY New Paltz. Yeah, that is an odd thing. And he's... I mean, maybe I'm being too weird. Like the fact that he is British, right? But they don't, it's like, is he a part of like a UN force?

Is he, I don't know. I have questions about sky captains. I do, I don't know. Is he British or does he just talk through a permanent smirk? By the way, he could be British or also have a 1940s accent too. That's another thing. Transatlantic.

Yeah. Sir, your title, your question. Title is Milk, Milk, Lemonade, Around the Corner, This Film. I like it. Because it's a piece of shit. My question is, it's not really a question. When they're showing like all the, when they're showing all the like sentinel attacks. We're about to get a statement everyone.

In like all the different countries and stuff. They show a Japanese newspaper and you can see Godzilla fighting the sentinel things. So like how is that not a big story? Like Godzilla exists. Right. I have an update for you. That's a question But it is a question I did notice similarly There's a scene in New York when the robots are happening where King Kong is on you can see King Kong

So it's like well. I mean I feel like Polly should be also writing about that. That's a big news story too, that King Kong is also in New York. How are we so unaware of the event in the world? It literally is a movie where they were like, we could do anything in CG, and they're like, and we will. Like, they're like, with reckless abandon, small elephants, Godzilla, dinosaurs, flying planes,

robot planes, airships, it's like, it's too much shit. It's like, it's like the equivalent of Spencer's gifts. You know, it's like, I got it. All right, it's too- Well, it's what happens when you drink too much milk of magnesium. Yeah. Yeah, except no edible underwear, which is what they used to have at Spencer's Gifts

when I was a kid. Your title of the movie and your question. So my title is Sky Captain and the World of PS2 Graphics. And my question is, can any New York beat cop call in Sky Captain? Because it seems like just some random patrolman gets on the horn and calls in like heavy air support. Again, yes. Yeah. To answer your question, yes.

He's also available for birthday parties. But not bar mitzvahs. Alright, so your title, your question. Armitzvahs. All right. So your title, your question. Sky Captain and the Misogynists of Today. Ooh. Topical. Time's up.

Time is up. So when they're in Shangri-La and they interview the sole survivor of the experiments and they get the info and they say, what can we do for you? And he leans out and he says, kill me. And they just do the experiments? And they get the info and they say, what can we do for you? And he leans out and he says, kill me. And they just do the cut? Are we supposed to assume that Jude Law

is an angel of death and kills that guy? He killed that cloud faced man. That man had a face made of clouds. Yeah, I think he would have to. He's a, he agreed. That made me so happy. There's a writer on Good Place named Dylan Morgan who always pitches that inanimate objects

and mutant beings gain sentience and then say the words kill me. And so like I rewound that and just sent him that scene. Cause I was like, this is your favorite movie. This is what you always pitch. It's happened. This is real. The first sketch show I ever did at UCB in 1999

in New York, Dylan Morgan wrote. Okay, we all have resumes. I once worked at a Hollywood video. And I watched Empire Records every day. Yeah! Dylan wrote that. Fuck, I love Dylan. Your title and your question. Pressure's on.

My title is Any Reason to Punch Gwyneth Paltrow. My question is, you mentioned that the actors in the scenery never match up, and the most obvious example of that to me was when they're having a very intense conversation near the beginning of the movie with the Wizard of Oz playing in the background, loudly standing talking, and it's in a theater where people are trying to watch a movie. They all just. Radio City Music Hall, as a matter of fact.

Stand up and walk out like there wasn't a loud conversation right in front of them. They are in the top of the balcony blocking seemingly everyone's view because the movie is packed. It's not an empty theater. Yeah, that is an odd, I noticed that too. Again, one of the problems of not having extras there the day of the shoot and also not thinking about

anything that you make in the movie. All right, let's go through speed round, question. I was just a little confused how this movie fits into history, because they reference World War I, which means World War II must have happened, I just want to or is happening so I just want to know why isn't sky captain fighting Hitler he's too good he's too good for Hitler like save him for the robot maybe in this future this future past Hitler was a good guy and you know switched it around. Maybe America wasn't. Wait, Sheer, you just said Hitler is a good guy?

Hitler was a good guy? I just want to make sure we got the quote right. I said in the future past, maybe Hitler. Hitler is a good guy. Did we get it clean? Can you say it again? Can we just... Can we get it clean?

Can somebody just pull that audio and make a theme song out of it? It's a ringtone. Send that shit to Breitbart right now. Hitler is a good guy. Hitler is a good guy. Hitler is a good guy. Hitler is a good guy. Wow, interesting. Okay. Never knew that's where we were. Got it. Maga. My title is Sky Captain, just look it up on Wikipedia. And my, it's more of a comment,

but Reddit has a strange love for this movie, and if you're a fan, the top three recommendations are Sucker Punch, The Shadow, and The Phantom. Whoa! Whoa! Are those just three things that happened to Gwyneth Paltrow in this movie? Ha ha ha ha! Oh my god! We basically, I guess Reddit, that is three films that we have done on this show, so

that Reddit community not listening, not listeners of this show at all. Some interesting facts about this movie, it has 71% on Rotten Tomatoes. How? Really? How? Roger Ebert gave it four stars. It came out in 2004. So in 2004, the number three movies were Shrek 2, Spider-Man 2, and The Passion of the Christ.

Scores all done by Smash Mouth. Hey now, you're God's son. You're on the cross. Yeah. Hey now, you're God's son. You're the chosen one. Bleed. Bleed.

Yeah, because the... Yeah, because you stabbed in the side. All that blood is wine. Okay, so ranked 70th. Did you. All that blood is wine. Okay, so... Um... Ranked seventy... Did you say, all the blood is wine? Yeah. All that blood is wine. And the crown is thorns.

Ranked... it came in 77th of all the movies made in 2004. And I will just say again... I hope there were only 77 movies made in that year. Yeah, well I can't find anything that we've done in the show that it's beat. But I'll say like the CGI in Spider-Man 2 is pretty good. Like so again, this is not a movie that is like, wow, it was mind blowing how they were able to do that.

Like they were doing it successfully. Can I just tell you my quickly quickly my favorite piece of trivia about this movie is that the kiss where Gwyneth Paltrow gets punched into unconsciousness was nominated for best kiss at the MTV movie. Whoa, did not know that. Did it win? Did not get lost to the kiss in the notebook. Which was also a great kiss. Yeah. Just because she never remembers it. So both of these women.

But she's got that Alzheimer's guys. Both of these women got kissed but didn't get to remember it. Yeah, into oblivion. The budget of this movie was 70 million dollars. Worth every penny. And opening weekend it cracked in with 15.5. It made a total here in America of 37 and then a worldwide finishing gross of 57.9. That's, I'm actually shocked that it made that much.

I think because of the stars, they suckered him in. And here are some of the tagline. Anyone want to guess at a tagline of the movie? How about, sky captain, the world of tomorrow? Why not? It's a movie, question mark. This one is, the world will tremble this September. No.

11th. Oh! will tremble this September. No. 11th. Oh. 2004. Yeah. It was just a, it was just a bad day to release the movie. 2004. When this movie came out. I like that three years later they were like,

we can use this for marketing. You guys didn't like my September 11th turn? Okay, cool, got it, message received. I was once at some MTV event and Jamie Foxx was performing and his album was coming out on September 11th and he was like, Jamie Foxx y'all, 9-11 y'all, Jamie Foxx y'all, 9-11 y'all, Jamie Foxx y'all, and he comes in saying that, not realizing that that's probably not what you want to be yelling on a stage.

Wow. Only a couple years later. Oof. That, I always remember that, 9-11 y'all. I do want that ringtone though. Jamie Foxx y'all, 9-11 y'all. I do want that ringtone though. Jamie Foxx y'all, nine-eleven y'all. And then the other tagline. I'm just gonna sign it to Jamie Foxx when he calls.

Without warning, without mercy. That's another tagline of this movie. Without warning, without mercy? That is terrifying. That's not some shit Truman said. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't like, reek of like, oh, that sounds fun. Okay, Casey Affleck was supposed to play Dex.

That's interesting, little side note there. And then- The actor or someone's dog, they named Casey Affleck as a joke. I will say... It's a Rottweiler named Casey Affleck. Alright, so obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions.

Was it great or was it shit? I just can't make sense of it. But maybe if some internet dick tells me how to think, I can make my pick second opinions. Bunkers. Yeah, give it up. Sing your name one more time. Patrick.

Give it up for Patrick. Patrick is walking away. Great work, Patrick. Patrick is walking away with an IMAX poster, a mini IMAX poster of Star Wars, The Last Jedi from our friends at IMAX. Mini posters for very big movies. I'm just saying, if you're in a band,

why not write a second opinion song, come up here and promote it at the pod. I'm looking at you, Brian, from Silver Sun Pickups in the audience. All right, here we go. So, a lot of positive reviews of this movie. Lot of positive reviews here. And they all have a couple of, like a couple of themes.

We'll get into them here. So, okay, this one is by Gary. And it just said, Gary. It says all in caps and it says, I had this movie years ago on video tape, but who even has a video tape player these days? I love to watch movies while I eat my lunch during the week on my Kindle Fire.

And I could hardly remember watching this film, so I snagged it using my Amazon Prime account. This film was one of the first to make use of green screen technology and I really enjoyed it while eating my Italian sandwich to which I am addicted. This film is worth a download if you like the 40s and giant flying robots and bat shaped wing flapping airplanes and excitement. Five stars, this movie looked great, and I liked the retro feel. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. That's like a call for help. You know what I mean? It's like. The all caps really puts it over the edge. Every one of the five star second opinions

is doubles as a suicide note. Yeah. But like, I've never heard so many brands name checked in a suicide note. It's like, my Amazon Kindle, my Amazon Prime account, my Fire, et cetera, my Italian sandwich from Subway. Where was that Italian sandwich from? Firehouse Subs, I hope.

Sign Jeff Bezos, I mean Gary. Jeff Bezos does this thing, apparently, which I thought, I heard heard read this thing the other day like he was saying that there's a lot of complaints about customer service and they don't pick up early enough. And so he had this big board meeting where they're like, no, no, customer service picks up right away. And he called customer service and everyone waited while he got through to customer service.

It was like four minutes. And the way that people described the meeting was it was the most uncomfortable time, just like watching him on hold music and him just staring at everybody. And then when they go, I don't know if I may help you, he was like, no, click, and he's hung up. Just to prove his point.

But it was like a button he pressed that like a cleaver went down and killed that person. They were immediately replaced by a robot. This one is titled Better Than Disney Princesses. And it, I would pronounce the name but I can't. It says, this has been my son's favorite movie from ages three to seven. It's awesome. My only complaint is it's impossible to find themed merchandise to decorate his room.

Five stars. Wow. Wait, wait, wait. So the title is... Better than Disney Princesses. Yeah. What is he implying? That his son, he doesn't want to buy his son Disney Princess stuff for his room?

I would say that there's such a surplus of Disney Princess merchandise to decorate bedrooms with. He's like, better than the Disney Princesses. Where the fuck is the Sky Captain aisle? Why can't I get all this fucking frozen shit? Why can't I get Sky Captain sheets? Why can't I get Sky Captain pajamas? Real question. Why can't I get Sky Captain pajamas? Uh, uh, my... Real question.

My son is just... Why can't I? My kid loves Laurence Olivier and only wants a Sky Captain... Where the fuck can I buy child-sized Tesla coils for my son's bedroom? Instead, he's just swimming in candlestick from Beauty and the Beast bed sheets.

He's so mad. Oh, my gosh, is that map on your wall from Sky Captain? Instead he's just swimming in candlestick from Beauty and the Beast's bedsheets. He's so mad. Oh my gosh, is that map on your wall from Sky Captain? I love your bed, but they do have a lot of bathroom theming. Milk of Magnesia you can get, it's really great. Oh, and you know that like tourism to Nepal just skyrocketed after this movie. Those are some solid reviews and they really do,

they really go show you everything. Any final thoughts, any final thoughts, anything we didn't cover? I did not care for this. I wish I hadn't seen it. I hate this movie. Joe, you say... I wrote so few notes. It's like a real marker of a really terrible movie.

When I look at the notes, and I'm like, oh, I barely wrote anything because it held my attention so little. You know, it was such a difficult watch that I had to den of thieves myself afterwards. Just to be like, oh right, this is what a great movie is? I mean, I wrote a lot of shit down. Yeah. I mean, I wrote a lot, but Joe, you say you have a high tolerance for these movies. Yeah.

And where does it fall on like, what is a movie, just because I'm curious, like that was the hardest for you to get through? Or you passed that? I can pretty much endure any. This was hard. I actually like, I like walked my dogs and stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. No, it was, this took all day. Okay. Yeah. It took me all night to watch it. Yeah. And it was the only movie that I've watched in recent memory where I was watching it, giving it attention, and then realizing like,

10 minutes later, oh, I've checked out. But I'm still watching it. It's like sometimes when you're reading a book and you start thinking about something but you keep on flipping pages like that, and I was like, oh, gotta go back. I rewound it a few times. I rewound When a few times. I rewound when cold nipples hard.

Because I was like, what's happening? What did he say? Did I miss it? Like, yeah, it really, I guess also trying to make sense of it. Yeah, it was hard, but anything else you wanna add? Anything? Tawny, what about you?

Like. I guess, yeah, I was tuning out too. Like, within the first seven minutes, there have been two characters that are old, white, bespectacled men with thick accents. And I'm just like, I'm a limited person. I cannot keep track. All these men look alike to me, and I can't.

It was like one Doc Brown, two Doc Brown. You know? And it just, it made me instantly like, I don't care, I don't just it made me instantly like I don't care. I don't care. I was like I don't care about their journey. I don't want to know what they're going through. The number of civilian casualties in this movie must be in the tens of thousands. Truly. You know like between the the attack on Manhattan, between the bombing, then the bird planes that attack. They kill a ton of people. There's like a lot of...

And then according to those newspaper articles, it was also Tokyo and Berlin. Yeah. This could be like a Thanos level event. But Godzilla seems to be working on the side of good, like Hitler, right? Yeah. Yeah. He's a line. Godzilla and King Kong are both pretty cool, I guess?

Yeah. You know what? This movie kind of proves that like, just cause you like, you really like movies doesn't mean you have to make one. Like this whole movie was like proof, like I like, I like movies. Look, here's Wizard of Oz, here's King Kong.

Sure. It's like, you just... Just watch them. Just don't, yeah. Or sometimes, how about sometimes a short is enough. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, yeah, you did it, man. You did, congrats. Congratulations.

Great, six minutes, that's your limit as an artist. That's all you gotta do. Yes. It's fine. Six minutes, you know, that's pretty great. You know? So we all agree that at six minutes, we're all on board with this movie. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

This movie felt like six hours. Yeah, this movie felt like a miniseries. I've been told six minutes is fine. So, let's just keep it at that. I was told it's it six minutes until Dougie Fresh is on. Who remembers Dougie Fresh? He was one of those guys with Tom Sawyer. I'm making all 1970s references. I know, I said Nipsey Russell earlier, like a real young, cool kid. We're doing great. I thought you said Nipsey Hussle. I thought you were cool.

So we're going down the line and just saying that none of us recommend that you watch this. And we apologize if you did. I'm gonna be honest. If you watch this movie for this episode, I'm sorry. Yeah. Fair warning. Like, you should not have, and episode, I'm sorry. Yeah. Fair warning. Like you should not have, and I wish I could have been able to tell you ahead of time.

But we didn't know. Paul did tell us. Paul, you did apologize in your email to me, booking me. You said, I'm so sorry for this one. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was like, I had already seen it at that point and I knew what you were out in store for.

How dare you? I know. It was a tough one. I feel bad. I feel bad doing it. But we got this great piece of podcast history now in the books locked and loaded. And by the way, content. By the way, we just found out this episode got a castee. Yes! Castee, one of the prestigious podcasting awards. It's one of the best, you know, and... And here's Joe Rogan to give it to us. Ladies and gentlemen.

All right, so he's actually in the deprivation tank as he's giving us. He's gonna kiss you and then punch you in the face. All right, so Tony, what do you wanna plug? he's giving us. He's gonna kiss you and then punch you with the face. All right, so Tani, what do you want to plug? What do you want to talk about? Yeah, thank you for mentioning. I'm the new co-host for Yo Is This Racist? So if you have racism questions but you also want to laugh, that's a bad tagline, but listen to that. Then I have a new podcast coming out on Stitcher Premium

with my co-host Alex Kleiner, it's called The Supergroup. If you like music and comedy, but not necessarily together, please listen to that. And if, yeah, if you run a television network, fucking put me on it, because I'm sick of just doing podcasts. Joe, what do you got? You can watch my Netflix special. You can listen to it. You can watch The Good Place, a show I write for. You can... One of the best shows on TV.

Oh, this would be great, actually, for this show. I feel like your fan base could help me with this. My Wikipedia page is being held hostage by a lunatic. So if you want to, like, correct some of those errors, I don't know who it is. It might be that Uber driver, actually. is being held hostage by a lunatic. So if you want to like correct some of those errors, I don't know who it is, it might be that Uber driver actually. But, uh. So you are saying, because we have wreaked havoc

with people's Wikipedia, our fans have, you want us to do that to you, but correctly. No, no, no, we want to free his page. His page is being held hostage. You can see it, look on Wikipedia. It page. His page is being held hostage. You can see it, look on Wikipedia, and it's being held hostage. I'm just saying, do the opposite of- You're saying do a good thing.

I'm saying be altruistic. Yes, okay, good, good. Unless you didn't like my jokes, then yeah, go crazy. I don't really- No, no, no, no, no, you don't want to get them backed in there, yeah. Free, yeah, we need to free Joe from this cave of a... Or just open it up. You can wreak havoc just like, I just want this one person to not have so much control.

So fucking go nuts, just open up the world a little. Stellar skateboard this. Yeah. I just, I resent that one person has control over my life. Okay, well while we're getting the fans to do shit for us, I recently discovered I have a WikiFeet page, like fuck that entirely first of all, but secondly, like one of the pictures is of my Chinese friend Jessica.

So can we talk to the feet people community about how not all brown people look alike? Well, we're laying it down. We're laying it down, yes. WikiFeet does not have the highest level of like... What's WikiFeet? Like you don't know. But for those who may not know...

Oh, here we go, WikiFeet. Ew, I don't like feet. Feet of the day. And people rank, they rank celebrities and lowly podcasters' feet. That reminds me, I want a WikiFeet page, so if you could... Jason, what do you want to promote? Oh, nothing. No, no, I don't want to promote anything.

Where are we right now? We're, you know... In a general month, where are we, do you think? May-June? May-June? Yeah, no, I'm good. 9-Eleven. Jamie Foxx. If it's 9-Eleven, I will promote 9-Eleven. You can also follow us. We have a brand new website at HDTGMinfo.com. So it's our initials, how did this get made, info.com. And that has all of our tour dates, the movies that are playing when we are doing

those tour dates, ticket information, frequently asked questions, all that stuff in one space, HDTGMinfo.com. And also, check out a new podcast that I'm doing with Amy Nicholson from the Canon called Unspooled where we watch good movies. The converse of this show, we're going to watch the top 100 movies on the AFI list and it's been super fun because those movies are enjoyable in so many ways.

Good acting, good set design, everything. And it actually makes this show more painful. So I feel like I'm going deeper. I'm testing myself on a level that I didn't even know existed anymore. It's like French connection, then Sky Captain. And it battles out at my soul. So you can subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

That is all. A big thank you to Avril Halle for pulling these clips, because she had to watch the movie multiple times to pull these clips. Nate Kiley, who did all of our research. Everybody here at Largo, thank you so much for coming out. We'll give you a chance to take a picture in one second.

Bye bye everybody, good night. How did this could be? Here it comes!