How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Street Fighter (w/ John Gemberling)
Episode Date: January 22, 2024Finally a movie stayed true to its video game adaptation by having no plot. John Gemberling joins Paul, June, and Jason to figure out who is a native of Shadaloo, why Jean-Claude Van Damme pretends to... be dead for a really long time, and what the hell was the reason for Van Damme to play a home video tape while driving a boat. They’ll also share their favorite lines, explore all the shoehorned elements of the video game, and explain to June what “street fighting” really means. (Originally Released 04/16/2013) UPCOMING TOUR DATES IN: San Francisco, San Diego, the UK, & Ireland! Go to hdtgm.com for tix and info.Pre-Order Paul’s book about his childhood, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, wherever books are soldFor extra Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerHDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Finally, a video game adaptation that stays true to the video game, which means it has absolutely no plot.
We saw Street Fighter, so you know what that means.
Now it's time for
How to Discarpe
Gonna have a good time celebrating failure
Not just the hate of
Could you though you wonder
How to discarpe
Let's all win the mediocrity of subpar art
Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question,
how did this get made?
Hello people of Earth and welcome to another episode
of How Did This Get Made?
I am Paul Shear joined as always by my two co-hosts.
Please welcome June Diane Raefiel.
How are you June?
Good, how are you?
Very good and also Jason Manzuggis.
How are you Jason?
Paul, pretty good.
Thank you.
We're very special guests on the show today,
super funny guy, you will see him
in the upcoming new season of She-Heart, She-Holler.
Please welcome John Gemberling.
Hi, thank you.
I'm very excited to have you on the show.
Very excited to be here.
This movie, I never saw this movie, Street Fighter,
the Jean-Claude Van Damme classic,
with Ralph Julia, who is dying of horrible stomach cancer
throughout this film.
Is this his final movie?
Final movie.
That is depressing.
Yeah.
It's really sad.
But gives a good performance.
Did you see at the end of the movie,
it says for Raoul Viacundios?
Viacundios, yeah.
It's what comes up like directly after the last shot. She would have credit. Viacundios. Via Cundios, yeah. It's what comes up like directly after the last shot.
Jesus, cool.
Via Cundios.
I will say in doing some research for this movie,
you know, I was like looking around online,
there's a lot of like making of Street Fighter the movie,
and you know, they have like, there's a big fight scene,
obviously, between John Claude Van Damme and Raul Julia,
the fight that everyone's been wanting to see,
these two people face off.
These two titans of physical...
Not since Ben Gazera and Patrick Swayze
has there been a fight scene
that you really gotta get in the mix of.
But they had all these fight scenes
and you see like John Claude and his outfit
and Raul Julia is in a beautiful bathrobe
with like a neckerchief like, and it's like he's rehearsing these fight scenes in a necker a beautiful bathrobe with like a neckerchief, like, and it's like
he's rehearsing these fight scenes in a neckerchief in a bathrobe.
I was like, classy motherfucker.
Like, I just love it.
Wait, but is that his rehearsal outfit?
It was his rehearsal outfit.
That's a civilian clothes.
It was not his character's clothes, because they are not the same thing.
But it wasn't the wardrobe from his, like, seduction scene?
No, it was in the final scene. So it was like, it was a white bathrobe with this like beautiful folded over.
He's a classy, classy guy.
This movie, man.
I couldn't figure this thing out at all.
I mean.
Could not make heads or tails of.
I didn't understand who was who.
I didn't understand.
Did you guys play the video game?
No.
I mean, I played it in the arcade, but I didn't like, I mean, does it follow anything? I mean, I didn't play the video game. No, I mean I played it in the arcade
But I didn't like I mean does it follow anything? I mean I didn't think that
Video game where two people just fight it's like a button smasher, right? Yeah, there's not like a
It's cuz you've played the video game. Yeah, I play video game is a street fighter. Well, they're all street
Yeah, they're all street fighters all even though
Who is a street fighter?
So who is such an association?
But Jean-Claude Van Damme is not a street fighter.
Oh, well, yeah.
And you two guys, that's what I'm saying.
In the movie version of it, who are we to look to
to say like this is a street fighter? Oh, the boxer like in the cage fighting ring the guy with the the guy with the spikes on his thing
Yeah, Vega, okay, but the Jean-Claude van Damme character our hero is not a street fighter. I guess no
No
But he's capable of it. He's capable of hand-to-hand combat
But now he also in the video games? That character? Yes.
Gile.
And he is, I think he's in the Air Force though.
He's not in the AN.
Well, the AN, which is clearly the United Nations
did not want their name on this.
They're like, the Allied Nations, the Allied Nations.
And they couldn't be in the Air Force either.
Yeah, we're not getting behind.
And Van Damme, isn't he a colonel?
He's a colonel.
Yes.
Would a colonel be like running an entire operation in that country?
No, he seems to be the most important military figure in the world
And by the way, I was kind of shocked at one point in the movie because I did not get that he was a this whole
AN thing but at a certain point he takes off the jacket and you reveal like this big American flag on his bicep
Like oh, you're American like you're fighting in his allied nations. Like, you don't have to be American.
You could be a French foreign legion.
You could be anything.
You don't have to be an American.
Such a weird choice.
And being that he is himself not American,
and cannot speak with an American accent.
So weird.
And the sentiment is like, it's America versus shadow.
Yeah, this like Indonesian country where the main the main plan I guess is
that Ralph Julia I want someone to take a stab at this is what I'm just gonna sit
back and listen to this so Ralph Julia captured like about 60 tourists and I
thought they were see I thought they were AN workers they were AN workers okay
so he got like some workers
and then he's holding them hostage for $20 billion.
Which is a comical amount.
So that he can build, what was it, like his own?
Bisonopolis. Bisonopolis, thank you.
Right, a fake city in this, architecturally,
that's designed to look like his logo.
And where one of the main features is the food court
that the major food chains can buy into.
Yes, which he was very concerned
because they're all gonna wanna get in there.
They're all gonna wanna get in.
And so what does he want to happen there?
In Bisonopolis?
I don't know.
Yeah, the Bisonopolis doesn't seem like,
it seems like that's a very benign goal.
It doesn't seem like he's gonna launch terror attacks.
It seems like he'd like to build a giant mall.
Well, he wanted the packs by Sony or whatever,
whatever Desperate wants to conquer so much
that they can bring peace.
Yes, exactly.
Oh, I did not get that.
Yeah.
So, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm sorry, you have to say that again a little bit.
Say that again, John.
So, he's actually fighting for good?
Well, you know that despotic thing of like,
you know, I'm gonna take over everything
so then I can bring peace,
so then I'll rule everything and then it'll be peaceful.
I do know that thing.
I do know it.
I do know it.
That's what he said, but he's got to be,
you know, he's a megalomaniac.
Right, so yes. Okay, so that's the idea that we're not,
you know, he's saying that, but we might suspect otherwise.
We might suspect, yeah, I mean.
He's like a mass murderer.
He's like Edie Amoon.
Yeah.
He's a so-called cuckoo banana person,
which by the way, by the way though.
One of the themes of the movie, this started to interrupt but this is why I
bring it up is because I did feel that
there was a theme emerging of like the
lines between good and evil are not as
distinct as we think they are
Wait a second, what?
I think that was one of the themes of the movie
I don't know, I think it's pretty clear who's good and who's bad
No it's not, he's actually one of our street fighters
Zangief Zangief was too stupid to understand
even how to do a thumbs up properly.
Right, but also.
Oh wait, that's what it was?
Cause he did his side thumbs up and then they turn it.
By the way, that's how you do it.
He's amazing and he delivers on every level.
Oh wait, Zangief is in Wreck-It Ralph.
Oh yes, yes.
That's where I know that character from. His other acting job in Wreck-It Ralph. Oh yes, yes. That's where I know that character from.
His other acting job in Wreck-It Ralph.
I'm just kidding, the cartoon character.
The other, one of the other guys,
again I don't know who they were,
I don't know how they relate to the story.
What did they wear?
Okay, so they were the guys, the Asian guy and his buddy.
Okay, the kung fu, the gi wearing guy.
The other same, the same Ken and Raiu.
Okay, so one of the guys. Who by the way I thought had a very sexualized relationship.
Really? I thought there was a little connection between like...
You're always looking for gay stuff in the movie.
Hey, look, I like it. I like these guys really getting together. I thought that
they played off that a little bit, but go ahead, I will get back to that.
I didn't see that, but Ken did say that he didn't know which way he was going to go if
he was going to be a good guy or a bad guy.
And then when the monster was being created, he was supposed to be created for evil, but
then there was a moment of like, well, how does he know what's evil and what's good?
So anyway, I did think that that was one of the themes.
So there's a blurring line of who's good and who's evil for the very stupid
for the genetically enhanced.
Yeah.
Well, I felt like they were creating the monster, which is just the incredible Hulk.
Oh, by the way, why does he need to be green?
Why does he need to be like, black guy is green, black guy in the game is green and has a red
hair.
Oh, all right. But I mean, but I love that all of our indignation
is instantly, I'm so by the way, so glad you know all of this.
Because if you didn't, we would just be here being like,
why is he green and the message boards would just be like,
have you not seen the movie?
How do you not play the game?
How do you not know who Ryu is?
Are you fucking kidding me?
But see, it doesn't totally justify it
because I feel like if we're gonna see the scene
in which he becomes that character,
then I do wanna understand a little bit.
I know his muscles are expanding,
but I don't still understand why.
He's green.
He became green, yeah.
We became green with all the anger.
Well, clear that they were pumping
some sort of chemical in his body
as they had these
Comically large bags. It was like enhanced DNA like the way that you would kind of put like like water in a bag at a hospital or something Like a sailing drip sailing drip and it like like but he as he was expanding
He was also being brainwashed by these images like clockwork are in style and I love by the way that there was a
Totally pre-prepared pre-edited good imagery
Right?
To be piped in
Okay, but here's what that was. Here's what the good imagery was. Wait a second
The good imagery is an imagery
A wedding, a black wedding
A black wedding
There's two weddings. First a regular wedding with white people, then a black wedding
And then Martin Luther King Jr. doing the I Have a Dream speech
Yup, wait but then there's wait
And dolphins Dolph, that, fuck. And dolphins.
Dolphins, that was it.
I was like dolphins.
Yes.
What is this now?
That represents all that is good.
A African American wedding, I have a dream and dolphins.
And then that will-
And a white wedding.
And a white wedding.
And that will just even you out.
That will take the edge off the violence in Vietnam,
Hitler references and that shit when they showed
the good stuff, it, my mind exploded
when it was white wedding followed by black wedding.
I was like, you don't think that is the good stuff?
I genuinely was like, why are we letting them marry?
Wait, what? No I really was like this is the craziest package of happy things to show people. White wedding, black
wedding, Martin Luther King, dolphins. It felt like the guy who had to edit it had to
do it very quickly. He was like I don't know how to work final cut. This'll do. These three
things are fine. He was already in the stock images folder for wedding. Oh my god. I'll see you both of these
Basically, there's three days until bison is going to
take over the world and
So who's asking for the $20 billion the a and from London, right? I thought the a and
Well, the end the a AN has agreed to pay it,
so I guess it's their authorization.
Oh, okay, sure.
But the guy has a British accent,
which is why I think it's a little confusing.
Because didn't he say the British pound was gonna go up?
Like Bison's also created his fake money
from Bison.
Oh, right, right.
His next plan is to kidnap the queen
and force them to adjust the monetary rate so that his
his bison credit is five times worth and five times more than the pen.
I got confused. That's the sequel.
That's over here.
Which by the way is set up in a brilliant post credit sequence.
I didn't watch it.
Oh well in the end of the movie, the whole cast of Spoiler Alert blows up
that Bison lives in and then all of a sudden
his body is rebooting online.
It's like, Commander Bison, what would you like to do?
And it's like, world domination, replay.
And he's gonna, you know.
See, I thought that the sequel,
not having seen any of the sequels,
was gonna be the monster character?
Blanca.
Yes.
Coming back to like an incredible Hulk style.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well that was strange.
How much do we jump around?
Oh we know, we know, yeah, we could,
you all, I feel like this movie,
Oh, I, yeah.
Yeah, we could jump around, yeah.
I literally don't know what the fuck is happening.
You could get in wherever you can. Yeah, jump wherever you want. Well that was strange that the Indian guy D. Yeah, yeah. I literally don't know what the fuck is happening. You could get in wherever you can.
Yeah, jump wherever you can.
Well, that was strange that the Indian guy Dossim
and Blanca just decided essentially.
Did you guys remember these names?
Because they're here in each realm.
There's a pair of videos.
Okay, fine.
Yeah.
I didn't know what was happening.
They decided to die or they decided,
they're like, we're staying,
but they were staying in a place that was blowing up.
I thought they were saying like,
we can't go with you and live your life.
I have a plan, we're gonna go and do our thing,
figure out our lives and we'll get back to you.
It seemed like they were saying we're staying.
No, it's a suicide mission.
Oh wow.
The blood that was churly.
Yeah.
Which it took me a little beat to figure that out.
I did not get that.
I couldn't figure that out at all. And that's not a truest thing that happened in the video game, but that's not Giles friend
Well, just even before that happens
I have to remind us of the moment where Jean-Claude
Sees Blanca for the first time and within seconds decides to kill him
Yeah, because this is a child. This is a movie for children PG-13. Oh, okay, then that's a little no
No, but I mean that's still by the way when John when he
He basically is like I'm gonna put you out of your misery by putting a bullet in your head
I'm staring at me Blanca can still speak. Yeah, I'm still reason yes. Yeah
Recognizes him. I mean none of this is adding up to mercy kill time. He's a little bit Deformed hey not yet, right not yet by the way the way that Charlie is chosen to
Become blonde oh my god. This is so crazy like basically like like like John
Claude Van Damme takes over the control of like a newscast and he's gonna yeah
He's young at bison like hey bison you know like what I mean for you and he does
Look out like a wrestling kind of slam
where you like put your elbow like into the palm of your,
like get your palm of your hand like,
ugh, I'll give you a little of that.
Like, you're like, like, all right, like,
it was all because of the,
he became like a wrestling ad.
Then in the middle of this like threatening bicep,
he's like, and Charlie, I'm coming for you, man.
Don't worry about it, I'm gonna get you back.
Like, why would you reveal anything that you knew? why would you reveal that in for me he's the worst
soldier and you're putting the hostage out way more and by the way it just
happens that Charlie happened to be standing right there on the as they were
kind of like checking out the terror and his name is Carlos oh Carlos right no
Carlos they called him Carlos but I think Charlie is his nickname yeah and so that was the thing he's like Charlie would cut with Charlie don't worry
We're gonna come and get you Charlie and then then then roll Julia walks up to him and takes on his dog tag
Right and goes Carlos whatever
Charlie
No, that's not right at all. His name is Carlos.
I love this movie.
I love this movie.
By the way, more than ever, this is a movie
that introduces a shitload of characters so quickly.
Oh, what, what?
Okay, and then they're all lying about what they're doing.
Like a lot of them are like, you don't know.
Well, they're all secret street fighters.
That's the thing, right?
Well, some are arms dealers. I the thing right there. All arms dealers.
I mean, Raiyou and Ken are arms dealers.
But there's two fighters.
Oh, yeah, I guess I'm going to ask a really dumb question.
But yes, I was going to say, I just like that there, by the way,
Ken and Raiyou's thing is that they deal toy guns.
Like that's their plan.
And then it's all guns.
Yeah.
Like, but that's their plan.
Like that's their scheme. They're the greedies, the laver looking guns that that they're tennis ball guns. Yeah, but that's their plan. That's their scheme.
They're the greedy, elaborate looking guns that...
The barrels are the size of tennis balls.
Yeah. To me, it's like just create a realistic looking gun.
You don't have to provide the tennis ball for the...
Or you don't have any guns at all. If the plan is go to the pier and get our guns.
Yeah.
Just have nothing there. I mean, just be lying.
Yeah, why do you have to go... Yeah, why do you have to manufacture the fake guns?
And then they were holding them at gunpoint
and they were like afraid, like they were really
having guns pointed at them.
Well, those tennis balls come out pretty quick.
Quick question.
And I may be revealing too much about myself,
but what exactly, and I know you,
I think you answered it a couple of minutes ago,
but what exactly is a street fighter?
Okay, so like like there's a what?
It's like underground fighting.
It's like underground fighting.
It's like underground fighting.
It's like underground fighting.
It's like underground fighting.
It's like underground fighting.
It's like exactly as a street fighter.
Like did you ever see Bloodsport?
That's like a legitimate sort of underground fighting.
Van Damme was also in that. It's like fight club but? That's like a legitimate sort of underground fight
Fight club, but like it's like fight club underground fighting. It's like yeah, it's like dog fighting with humans
So when they're in the cage that is street fighting I mean, I could be on a street fighting, but I mean yeah street fighting is like sort of like what remember when we saw the
Mike Tyson show he said that he would do street fighting.
Like he would beat up like 30 year old men in the street.
Like when people get paying money.
Great.
So was the woman, the Asian woman.
Chun-Li.
Chun-Li.
Now is she a street fighter?
Yes, I just want to get a real handle on.
In video games, they're all street fighters.
Right.
Well, in video video game you would argue
There's no other plot besides the fact that you pick a character and then you fight with them and then accept that there is an expanded
Universe I mean there are cartoons of this that's come out over the years
So I actually looked up shadow Lou and it's not a country in the game. It's bison's
Organization oh, so I don't know why they called it the country shadow Lou. Oh, okay. So this is just more of a so that's his or that's his evil
Yeah, that's what it is is I mean the game is a fighting game
And if they just populate it with all these characters who have different fighting styles, you know, so there are
Like that too. There's a boxer. There's a there's kung fu guys
Ninja like Chun Lee's do cool thing There's a boxer, there's kung fu guys, there's a ninja.
Like Chun Li used to do a cool thing with her leg.
I guess here's my problem.
She had a speed kick.
Yeah.
Jon, here's my problem with it though.
Those types of fighting though, would they normally be found on the street?
No, see this is what I'm talking about.
Well, in the game, most of the locations are outdoors.
Some of them are streets.
I know in the game, but I guess what I'm saying is... Most of the locations are outdoors. Some of them are streets.
I know in the game, but I guess what I'm saying is...
The movie is not trying to document
an actual thing that exists.
The movie is trying to approximate a video game.
The movie is also...
Then I'm asking about the video game.
The movie is also not good.
It's not a good representation of Street Fighter.
Oh, it's not?
It's as if... I'm Street Fighter. Oh, it's not? It's as if.
I'm just kidding.
They took the characters, and they basically took
the characters and populated the world
in a very different way.
It's as if the writer of the movie was like,
you guys, and somebody handed him a list of,
here are the characters in this movie,
here's what they look like,
and you're just allowed to just put them
in whatever roles you want.
Yeah, just because I have some,
my questions were like,
well I see a guy in boxing
gloves.
Well, that seems like that's for the indoors and up
on the streets.
Like, I'm genuinely, but whatever.
I'll spend some time on this.
We're talking about Balrog, right?
Yeah, Balrog.
His level in the video game is actually, it's on the red
carpet, I think, outside of a boxing match on the street.
So he does fight on the street in the game.
Now, I will say that Steven DeSousa,
the writer-director of this movie,
did not want to make a generic martial arts movie
after the disaster of Super Mario Brothers.
And he described the film as a cross between
Star Wars, James Bond, and a war film.
And he didn't want to shoehorn in.
Wait, Star Wars and a war film?
Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, of course
Because there's no similarities there and he didn't want to shoe in shoe horn in elements of the games
So he so but I would argue. Sorry. He said he did not want to shoehorn in elements of the game
Yes, he said he avoided the supernatural
John well, I just... John.
Yeah, I would say that they are incredibly shoehorned at certain points.
All the characters are shoehorned.
An oil drum says Capcom on the top at one point.
Yes, the magic act part, yeah.
Signature moves and phrases are essentially shoehorned in there.
Well, yeah, it's incredibly shoehorned.
The whole movie, I mean.
Yeah, it is incredibly shoe-worn. The whole movie, I mean, yeah, it is incredibly shoe-worn.
I would argue also, like Chun-Li is our way in.
I mean, she's the news, she's the fearless reporter
who we find out has just got an injured reporting
because she needed to do research on Bison.
To get close, to get to him so she could kill him.
Yes.
Because he killed her father.
And she gives a very dramatic monologue
about how Bison came into her town.
And that.
Oh, this is actually, I liked this.
This is a great interaction.
A very long monologue.
And,
and you know, she killed her father and family
and everybody in her village.
And, you know, and does anyone remember the exact quote?
Because I remember.
Well, she says something along the lines of like,
you remember like it.
He says what was the day that you will never forget
or something like that.
The most important day of your life.
For the worst day of your life.
To me.
The day that Bison came into your life.
He says something along the lines of like,
what was the worst day of your life?
Was Tuesday for me.
Was a Tuesday.
Pretty great line.
Like, because she can't believe, she's telling him, you killed my father.
Do you remember?
And he basically is like, I have no recollection of the story you're telling me.
Oh, here it is.
Here it is.
It goes, you and your bullies were driven back by farmers with pitchforks.
My father saved his village at the cost of his own life.
You had him shot as you ran away, a hero at a thousand paces.
And then Bison says, I'm sorry, I don't remember any of it.
Then Chun-Li says, you don't remember?
Then Bison says, for you, the day Bison graced your village
was the most important day of your life.
But for me, it was a Tuesday.
So he remembers what day it was.
Yes, yeah.
Was that true to the game? Did he kill him on a Tuesday. So he remembers what day it was. Yes, yeah. Was that true to the game?
Did he kill him on a Tuesday?
I don't know.
All the street fights took place on a Tuesday in the game.
Yes, of course, yeah.
Well, I loved that character for a couple of reasons.
Chun-Li, when she goes undercover,
it's in the middle of the day
and she puts on an all black ninja suit, but it's in the middle of the day and she puts on an all-black like a ninja suit
But it's in the middle of the day
And
She is and she's trying to follow a homing beacon and she follows the homing beacon to another homing beacon
There is a line there is there's literally a line
There's a prison break and the prisoners get on a truck and they drive out of the city. Yes
They do their prison break in the middle of the base,
which was a weird thing.
Like, why don't you wait until the truck gets out of the prison base?
And why were they transporting Sagat with all of his men?
Yes.
All together.
Well, that was because to get a prison break to happen, that was on purpose.
Right.
Because that's the fake.
That's the John Claude Van Damme shooting scene.
That's the fake out so that they can get their guys, their spies in, anyway, whatever.
Prison break, okay so.
But was John Claude Van Damme expecting them
to break out of the prison or did he just want them
to think that, okay, I agree.
What he wanted was for them, yeah, what he wanted was for.
No, I know that but I thought he just wanted
to ingratiate those two with the iPad guy.
He did but.
I didn't know that they had to break out of the prison.
Yes, because basically then, he's got guys
within the working organization, not just in with them in prison. And it would lead them to b prison. Yes, because basically then, he's got guys within the working organization,
not just in with them in prison.
And it would lead them to bison.
Yeah, which they do.
Which is a great plot point,
but here's where I'm confused.
I just want to say this one line.
So, what's her name?
Chun-Li?
Chun-Li.
It throws a homing beacon on the thing.
And then she says to her guys,
okay, well, we gotta find them
because we're probably not the only
people who put a homing beacon on that truck.
And I was like, what?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You're probably not?
What the fuck are you talking about?
You're 100% the only person who threw a homing beacon
onto that truck.
That was not a normal thing.
Well, Ken and Raiu had a homing beacon also.
Ken and Raiu did it too.
Yeah, because they used to track where.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
I see what you're saying.
They're like, we're getting interference.
Is it the wind or whatever?
They're like, no, it's too constant.
It must be another homing beacon.
We're probably not the only people that put a homing beacon
on that truck.
I don't know.
That just made me laugh.
Well, but by the way, there is no reason.
That image on Corbin did.
There's no reason why they should know it because to the world,
it was a prison break. So why would someone else be putting a beacon on that truck?
Like why?
I think she put it together that it was.
Oh, it was.
Well, but now here's my, this is where I'm confused because when she does follow that
homing beacon, she, like we said, John Claude Van Damme fakes his death. She's like sneaking around in this room,
and there's John Claude Van Damme.
The morgue.
The morgue, yes.
Okay, how do you know it's the morgue?
Oh, because there's a different color.
There's a skeleton.
And there's also a body part.
And body parts in different colors of water.
It is like the most lame,
like the props for this were preposterous.
It's the first time I noticed set design go, that was bad.
It looks like it's like a science class.
And it is a morgue.
A laboratory.
There was a guy actually dissecting a frog.
Yeah, exactly.
But so she goes into the morgue where it's a very sparse morgue,
only where one body is there.
And there's John Claude Van Damme's body.
And then he pops up and
says hey I'm not dead I wore this comical blood pack thing which by the
way so was he just waiting in the morgue under a blanket he got shot yes then
we have this then she throws a homing beacon yes then we have the scene where
they are in the van determining that there's another homing being in which
she's turning into a ninja yeah she hops out she does a crawl through you know
I think there was another scene in there it's been like probably an hour.
Oh at the least.
And he is just lying on the slab the whole time.
By the way we didn't even when he does when John Claude does get shot the medical team runs over to him
and immediately like a guy puts on like a little briefcase that has a big cross on it and then another guy
Comes over the big tarp and just covers him like oh yeah, he's dead. There was no resuscitation
Nope, I mean so were they in on it? I don't know maybe but still there's also a million tourists for some reason taking pictures
Because he's also kind of a celebrity yeah, all right. Well. Yeah, cuz he does those WWF shout outs all the time to Bison. Well, that's what was unclear, is how they were acting as if this was a global crisis.
Yeah.
But really, it feels like just a local.
Very local.
Warlord thing.
Like, yeah, like it's something to have in like Myanmar or something.
Yeah.
It's a very small.
So, now, what was the relationship between-
But wait, oh, so he's- I think someone's talking about him being in the- so he's in there,
like, so he's 40 minutes, easily 40 minutes passes. And he's just lying there?
Yeah, still like a corpse.
He's in his role as a corpse.
Well, and the homing beacon thing led them there.
Sorry.
So his homing beacon thing,
he's like put my homing beacon
on hand in the morgue next to me.
No, that's that big machine
with the rotating satellite dish that says homing beacon.
I was like, is this for fucking real?
What the fuck is this nonsense?
And here's the thing, the minute he's, so he basically has faked his own death and set
up this whole thing to ingratiate his spies with the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, the minute he gets brought back in, he should be up and in motion.
He should be where are they going, what's going on, let's follow the signal. He is lying under a sheet in the morgue pretending to be in an empty room.
In an empty room. He's in an empty room. He doesn't have to act for anybody.
He's in an empty room. He's going full GDL, Daniel Day Lewis on it.
He's going full method. If she had not shown up, what would he have done?
Well, his cohorts, Kylie Minogue and the gang,
do show up.
That was Kylie Minogue?
Yes.
Oh, I didn't know.
Yeah, they show up a couple of seconds after,
what's her name?
Chun-Li.
Chun-Li, so I think, I hope, I hope,
that he was waiting for them to get up.
But nobody seems surprised that he's like,
the guard that shows up.
We never see the moment,
and that's the weird thing about the movie
is that we never see that moment of like,
people in the streets or anyone realizing,
or his own army realizing like,
he's alive.
Yeah, when he's back in action, nope,
doesn't matter, like nobody's like,
nobody's phased.
Oh, I just got a question too.
What, what were they trying to stop like what like the
Did it there was never a threat like he didn't say I'm gonna launch missiles. Nope. I'm gonna blow something up
Like he's gonna kill the hostage the hostage, but but but that's it like I mean
the worst case scenario you didn't eat any worst case scenario you've got
60 dead UN workers and a and a dictator in charge of a small country.
But it's not great.
I mean, I don't think they should have gone in there.
But it just seems like this guy is like, where this guy is in a fucking palace?
Are we talking about a wreck?
Yeah.
Guys, are we talking about a wreck?
I mean, it's not great.
This is clearly an allegory for the first Gulf War.
I, one thing about this movie that I kept on thinking was, this movie is racist.
I just can't understand where they're, what country they're making, like what they're
saying.
I was like, it's definitely stereotypical, but I just don't understand what country
they're being stereotypical of.
Well, Shadaloo, but who were the, who were the, who were the, Shadalooians?
Shadalooians.
That, that, you're absolutely right.
That's a big flaw in the movie is that we don't know
who we're supposed to be caring about.
Like who are we protecting?
We don't know any of the hostages aside from.
Charlie.
Charlie.
And we barely know it.
Well, by the way, when they're escaping,
they look like tourists.
That's why I said they were tourists.
They're like wearing like,
they have a comical cameras and like feather hats.
So we have no, as audience members,
we have no like interest, we have no interest,
and that's why I think you think that saving 60 hostages
is not a big deal, but in fact it is,
but it's because we don't know these people.
I mean, it feels like a Thailand-like country,
but I wanna bring up this specific,
when Balrog and E Honda are getting essentially tortured.
How could you remember the American's American, so they're gay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all this.
First of all, can you help those of us who?
E Honda's the sumo wrestler and the boxer.
Sumo wrestler who in the game is Japanese
for some reason and this is Hawaiian.
And every time he's there.
This Hawaiian music.
Well, every time he gets whipped,
he's calm and like a,
it's a little Hawaiian.
They whip him like it's a scene from Passion of the Christ.
Oh yeah.
And then later on in the movie when he takes off his shirt,
you see those whip marks on his back.
But the guy who's whipping him is a fat white guy,
or European, like white guy.
Yeah, he's very Nordic looking.
And when he starts whipping him,
he says this is how we treat foreigners in shadow loo.
So he's a native of shadow loo.
Okay, wait a second.
I couldn't tell who the natives of Shadalu were at all.
You see, I almost thought that Shadalu was this,
like almost like the way that Dr. Doom and...
Lab area?
Yeah, like that's like,
kind of thought this was his land
and he was just kind of building this new mall
and he needed some money to build a new mall
in a place that he already owned
and it was a place where expats could come in
and do whatever, like in my mind,
that's the kind of what he...
Really? That's how I put it together
sounds like a dream
uh
I couldn't figure out I couldn't try food court that made it really hard because nobody had a country of origin that made sense for what they were doing
No, you know because Jean-Claude van Damme is an American military leader
Yes, no
Raoul Julia is an American leader,
dictator of a foreign country?
That doesn't make sense to me.
His Jamaican...
Because he's also kind of not,
he doesn't seem ultimately foreign either.
Like...
Wait a second, you're saying Raul Julia was American?
No, but he's, I mean, he didn't have an accent really.
I mean, that's, I'm not saying he was American,
but he was not like foreign.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
In any way. He was not a native of shadow. I don't know
I don't know shadow. I think he was he was a shadow. I think he was a shadow. You see ah boy
Alright, I think he was too, but you're right. It's then is his Jamaican right-hand man shadow. You know
He's definitely making because he wants to get back to Jamaica. Oh, oh, oh, sorry fuck that
I don't get this movie at all my favorite to my favorite lines are when
When John Claude Van Damme says to a press conference the war is canceled. Oh, yes
He says oh the war is cancer. I have this clip if you want to hear
This is an amazing clip here. Go the war is I just received new orders. It's a little long superior say
The war is cancelled
We can all go home
I'm keeping it long because it's getting paid off for his crimes and our friends will have died here
We'll have died
For nothing this character is American.
But we can all go home.
The good recurring theme.
Meanwhile, ideals like peace, freedom and justice, they get packed up.
But we can all go home.
You bring it back.
You're coming to the best part.
I'm not going home
I'm gonna get on my boat and I'm going up river and I'm going to kick that son of a bitch
Bison's ass so hard that the next bison want to be
He's gonna feel it No, who wants to go home?
And who wants to go with me?
and who wants to go with me. Yeah.
Now that is the rousing, that is the patent moment of this movie.
Beautifully scripted speech.
I actually like that speech and I thought I was delivered well.
It's not the worst speech.
I don't think it's the worst speech.
I didn't think he delivered it poorly.
I don't think so either.
I like it.
I just do like that he breaks out and Jason disagreeing.
Guys, did you, what the fuck are you talking
about
John is holding onto his head faster now. Oh my god. He, I think that the, that was a terribly written speech
delivered like garbage.
That was shamefuck.
What just happened was a war crime.
And while he's delivering the speech,
we're panning around the soldiers
and they're nodding knowingly and it's like as if we like love these characters it's like this is
what this guy is like we don't know these people this whole movie treats all the
characters like they're classics that we love just because they're two-dimensional
video game characters well I will say I didn't feel this speech was a stirring
when I watched it maybe because it was because of all the cutaways to the extras, but listening to it meant...
What are you doing?
I did like it better.
Thank you, John.
There is a rhythm to it that I like.
I will just...
Can we play the scene where it's the one...
We're gonna play...
This is a scene where someone questions John Claude Van Damme about his his decision here
This is the next scene right after that. Here we go
Colonel yes a
Single boat against everything he's got the pilot would have to be out of his mind luckily
Tyson has driven me crazy
So I'm gonna do it be like, I'm not even gonna be like, I'm not even gonna be like,
I'm not even gonna be like,
I'm not even gonna be like,
I'm not even gonna be like,
I'm not even gonna be like,
I'm not even gonna be like,
I'm not even gonna be like,
I'm not even gonna be like,
I'm not even gonna be like,
I'm not even gonna be like,
I'm not even gonna be like, I'm not even gonna be like, Guys guys guys synchronize your watches so everybody just come on their own
Guys you got a I just we're talking about the writing you know what this guy wrote this is Steven de Souza
He wrote diehard. No. Yes. No, he wrote 48 hours. You wrote commando. Oh
Jumping jack flash. I don't think you're right. No, no, no. Yes. And then it goes down now. But
now it goes downhill. Another 48 hours. Okay. Die Hard 2, Hudson Hawk, the Flintstones,
Beverly Hills Cop 3, Judge Dredd, Street Fighter, Lara Croft Tomb Raider, and then
that's, and then he kind of stopped after that. But there was a period where he was on fire. On fire.
And Die Hard is an amazing script.
I mean, just in terms of story, like, it's so, so good.
Basically, from 1990 forward, things go downhill
for Stephen DeSousa.
Wow.
Well, yeah.
Francis Ford Coppola did Jack, so.
True.
Just know. So ha ha ha. True.
Just know.
So it's possible.
Ha ha.
How did this come in?
How did this come in?
Can I bring up the boat ride?
Oh yes, please.
Van Dam's boat ride to the attack.
By the way, the boat ride had to be written in last minute
because the people of Thailand did not want an air attack.
He was supposed to fly in as an air force pilot,
but they needed to transform it to a boat
because Thailand's like, no, no, no,
you can't do stuff in the air.
Well, that's funny.
So that's why he wasn't in the air force in this.
Right.
So his stated plan is I'm gonna go up the East Bank
and cause a distraction while the whole force comes in.
Okay, see I didn't go ahead.
That's what he said in the briefing.
And then first, his tape, he puts a tape in.
What the fuck was this?
He puts a whole movie tape in.
He puts like a beta tape.
He literally loads a beta tape into a video screen in his boat that I believe he is driving
Yo, he's definitely driving that boat and he watches
home movies in the boat
Charlie well is shooting it because it was like a
Seem where they're at a bar like it was not like a home video
I thought that they were like at an outside cafe
I thought that there were like at an outside cafe
And also I thought this is the video where we see who his loved one was that that bison
Because he says to Chun Lee this isn't about your vengeance and then in an aside. It's about mine We never learned what his vengeance. I believe it's Charlie. I think it is the video. It's just Charlie
I think it's a love story between him and Charlie.
Yeah, I agree because that is, I think you could look
at that early scene between him and Bison
when he's on the news, when he calls out Charlie
and say that, okay, he knew Bison had Charlie early on
and that was his motivation the entire time.
But him and, but they give the sense that he and Bison
have been locked
in like a hat field in McFoy kind of field.
Yeah.
Oh.
Right?
I mean they're always talking about meeting each other
on the battle field.
Yeah.
No, I feel like there's a lot of things that were.
Who fucking knows.
I also like the one point the bad guys are all talking though and something happens
And then the the guy gets up and just goes this conclave is over
Well, you could I was like that's amazing well, there's amazing line. There's a few amazing lines
This is what I wrote down on the repo man, and you're out of business great
Yep, that's not what the repo man does.
Yeah, that is not,
that is the repo man takes his property back from you.
By the way, when he,
I'm starting to go back to the tape again,
but when he puts in that tape,
you could actually argue that it shows his relationship
with Charlie is not strong at all,
because he's going to save Charlie
and a ton of other people.
He should just be able to go save him
and do that out of his love
and what's in his heart for this man.
He shouldn't have to watch a videotape
to sort of pump him up to keep on going.
Well yeah, his reasons for watching that tape
at that moment are very, I don't don't know, I don't know.
What are the reasons?
I think it's just to remind us what the stakes are for him.
It's about saving his best bro.
I just, I'm sorry to go back to another line,
but I just feel like it needs to be said.
Another character at one point goes,
I like my games live and in living color.
Yes, I got so.
Yeah, so again, not really like, it's another weird line.
Not a clever line.
I mean, the cleverest line in the movie, in my opinion,
was when Chung Lee spits and they say,
hey, you're gonna dehydrate yourself.
Yeah, I thought that was a good line.
That's also a great line when the big,
the big Ophi guy says when they're watching,
they're watching on TV.
Yeah.
The whole news team is about to attack them and that during the celebration, he's like,
change the channel.
Oh, yeah.
He delivers those lines so beautifully.
Well, basically Chun-Li's plan was to record a live newscast of her setting a bomb that
would be running into their village.
Now, meanwhile, if she did not alert them to this newscast.
It would have succeeded.
And they, yes, but instead she decided to out herself moments before the truck loaded with...
Wait, how about the craziness of that scene is that Bison has captured everybody,
everybody's been captured, it's like a big room and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
there's lots of hubbub hubbub and then there's a moment of quiet
and you can hear Chun-Li's voice being like,
this is Chun-Li, we're recording from blah blah blah
and they literally, everybody in the room stops,
goes over, opens a door to a different room
where there's a television on.
Well there's a lot, I mean there's a lot of
what the fuck is that about
Why is that delivery system? It was a delicate plan to just hope there was a long
Shit, that was so crazy. Well, I mean that scene that whole set that coming off of Chun Lee escapes from her ninja
Yes, when she finds John clout of the thing the very next scene she's in costume with her guys
They're all in costume, they've infiltrated Bison's place.
And you would not know it.
Like Jun and I did not know.
I, like Jun's like, oh, there's Chun-Li,
and I'm like, she was right.
They've got choreography.
Yeah, there's no way to, like, wait, how is she there?
They've got a performance that they've prepared.
Oh yeah, that's right.
I couldn't figure that out at all.
I think they must have deleted scenes.
I think they must have shot that and didn't include it.
This conclave is over!
Well then, I love that scene.
Seagat has brought, they brought the weapons, right?
I don't know where they got the weapons
because the other weapons shot tennis balls.
It's Seagat the eyepatch guy?
Yeah.
And they're all passing, they're all impressed with the,
they all pass around this one gun.
Every bad guy character.
Holes the gun, cocks it, slaps it, looks down the barrel.
Like they're caresses it.
They pass around this gun, determine it's great.
And then Bison leans over to Sagat and goes,
basically hey, instead of money,
you want part of the country?
Like why would he offer him a part of the country?
He's, they've got a deal for money.
Why'd you want to give him the country?
Why would you give him that much power?
Why would you, it was nonsense.
Yeah, I think he's full of a lot of false promises.
I mean, again, it just goes to the fact
that someone did not figure out
what were the stakes of the movie.
There was a lot, it was a lot of characters going in here.
There was gobbles here.
So many characters.
Sandra Van Oakley, right?
Oker, right?
That's a real person.
That's a real CNN correspondent who shot a cameo
for this movie on a view screen.
I was kind of bummed that there wasn't a real love story
in the movie between Van Damme and one of those ladies.
Well, I think Kylie Minogue was supposed to be that, right?
Well, it wasn't explored.
No, it's like Chun Lee at the end.
It's Chun Lee, because he says he'd like to like,
she's his type or something like that.
Wear this outfit when we do the interview.
Yeah, and there was something.
He walks around her and then delivers that line.
But Kylie Minogue, first of all,
why is she wearing a turtleneck under her uniform the entire time?
She's wearing a bright blue turtleneck under it.
But she starts to cry when she thinks...
Yeah.
I don't know video games, but is that stuff explored at all?
Yeah, in the video game.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
In the video game, there's a whole love level.
Okay, you guys are kidding me.
So, in the video game, he doesn a whole love level. Okay, you guys are kidding me. So in the video game, he doesn't have like a love interest.
Okay.
Giles, I would argue that Ken and Raiu are
the main characters of the video game universe than Giles.
That's what I would say too.
In my limited knowledge of just playing it
at video game places, when I was a kid.
I liked that game.
When you were a kid, as we've established in your 20s.
In the early 20s.
When you were a kid, seen this nice girls movie
and going to the arcade.
Exactly, that one.
I'm like that young, young 26,
at the videocage is button smashing.
Man, I'm just trying to think of,
I also thought there was very little fighting
in this movie.
Very little. Very little.
Very little, like right?
It's for a movie that is called Street Fighter
and you would want it,
I wanted to see a lot more one-on-one fights
and even like when,
oh now I'm forgetting his name,
the big fat guy.
E Honda.
E Honda attacks Zangief.
A lot of it was just a lot of like,
I'm gonna jump on you.
Like it wasn't even like fighting.
And like I mean, and finally like Raul Julia and jump on you. Like it wasn't even like fighting. It was like, I mean, finally like,
Ralph Julia and Guy will have a little bit of a fight, but.
And there's no, they don't have any of like the powers
that in the game, in the game, some of these people
have like secret moves that you can throw fireball, right?
Isn't that the game or is that the immortal costume?
No, no, that's true.
No, no, that's true.
Right, okay.
Raiu shoots fireballs at her, that's kind of, yeah.
They both do. Now, Lieutenant C shoots fireballs that right or that's yeah, they both do now
Lieutenant cammy that's kind of Kelly Manoke. She's not a character in the game cammy
DJ and
Teahawk the the other guy is always with them that at a certain point only to out that it's that character van Damels
Hey, Teahawk. Why are you wearing that bandana? Oh my god, which they do as an ADR line in a wide shot.
Cammie, T-Hawk, and DJ were not in the original, they were in Super Street Fighter II.
That's when they were introduced.
Got it.
So what was your overall takeaway, John?
I thought that it's a lot to have to do to write a movie about a video game and like
hold, you know, live up to all these specifics, right?
But I don't know why you have to deviate.
Like Bloodsport is a pretty good template for a movie like this.
It's essentially a movie about people that square off against each other
and it has subplots and stuff,
but it's done pretty well.
So it seems like an easier task to me to just go,
we'll have the characters,
it didn't even have the style of the game.
There was no kind of,
I kept thinking people were gonna come up
in like a facing each other
Yeah, two-shot like like the game and somebody was gonna go fight basically, you know Yeah, or at least open the movie like that like give you some give you give me a little bit of fighting
There's so much fucking guns in this movie and their boats and it's like it's it really is you're saying like this is popular
Right, we'll just yeah, these characters and dump them in here and we'll put a pole plot.
But isn't there like a call from Jean-Claude Van Damme
during the final showdown where he's like,
let's not use weapons, like let's just do it all?
Well, I actually have that clip.
You can hear why.
He gets very upset because apparently Bison
has a very impressive suit
that can resuscitate him from the dead.
Now, did he have electrical shooting powers
before he got electrocuted or was that just afterwards?
I also do want to say anytime anyone is pushed
into an electrical box or a pipe,
it explodes into sparks and steam.
It's like the worst.
They're all made out of balsa wood.
The poor doctor gets it the worst.
He's shoved into everything. That guy, every single thing he could be shoved into, he is.
What I really actually love about movies like this is like,
and I know it's like, well,
this is like a cheap thing to pick on,
but you know, so he's creating this super soldier, Bison.
And at the end of the movie, he's revealing his super soldier,
but he has built like this elevator system
to reveal it with these these spikes on either side.
Like, it's a really cool reveal,
but it would only really be used once.
There's no functioning to it,
and I understand about some movies, whatever,
but it does this crack me up.
It's like, okay, so in a couple days,
I'm gonna release this guy.
So first I want spears to come out of the ground.
It'll really make it look cool,
and then we'll build a special elevator, but I would want it.
And it's staged in the hostage pit.
It is called the hostage pit several times.
There are even no straight up snaps
the dude's neck in this movie, right?
Yeah, there's a bunch of neck snaps.
There was a lot of neck snapping, but no blood.
I think that's how they got away with no blood.
There was like snap neck, snap neck,
which is a violent act and a snap neck is a violent.
More violent than shooting.
I also love the moment where Bison has DJ check
his Swiss bank account.
Oh yeah.
Oh my God.
So there must have been a scene that we don't see
where Bison gives his Swiss bank account routing number
to the A.N.
Yeah.
And the account balance is zero.
Yeah, it is a zero. So he has no money in the account balance is zero. Yeah, it is a zero.
So he has no money in the account and is just waiting for it to say 20 billion.
A Swiss bank account is when you're keeping your money secret, right?
Yeah, yeah.
What's the point of having a Swiss bank account?
I guess you could, I think you can wire money into it without any problem.
But I don't know.
But why not cash? Why?
But by the way, yeah, why would you reveal that that's the account that you would, like
it would be, yeah, mom.
It is.
They would seize his, they would freeze that account.
Yeah.
And they could easily go, yeah, it's in there and then the minute he like, it was so funny
that thing, account balance zero.
Zero.
And they, it refreshes account balance zero.
Wait, oh, I forgot.
I mean, again, this movie was made in the, in the 90s, right?
It was made in 1994.
Even then, for that time, the graphics were so shitty,
and there's a part of the movie where they just put
computer graphics on the screen for a long time,
like longer than you think, or it's like,
you're just seeing like, Ryu and Ken captured,
and maps coming down.
It's like watching like,
it's like watching like 10 loading screens of a computer.
Again, not great for radio here,
but I will tell you that it's a hilarious scene
of just bad graphics that doesn't reveal anything.
What about the Ihan Da Zangief Godzilla
set up security camera footage?
And the Japanese people are watching.
Two Japanese characters, yeah.
The movie, by the way, is clearly in a foreign country.
You would argue that everyone there
speaking in language, it's not English. But then all of a sudden you run into these two Japanese people
They've you meet them for the first time they have a Japanese conversation turn on security camera
And then there's watching watch the security footage. This might be strategically important
These two large guys wrecking by synopsis is his new place like Godzilla. Did they add Godzilla sound effects in there as well?
Really breaking the reality.
How about when Raul Julia is trying to seduce Chun-Li and there's a painting of a clown on the wall?
That was him. That was him. That's his painting of him.
It's actually a cheat. It was actually the same painting that that was in John Wayne Gacy's house
It was like a nod to that. So that's how deep this movie went again levels levels and levels and levels
I can't handle this obviously we had opinions about this movie, but there are other people who I
Thought it was a lot better than us. These are five-star reviews cold from Amazon in a segment we call A Second Opinion. Maybe that art is subjective. I need a second opinion.
Albrek Clair writes, the climax is breathtaking and some parts are very, very funny.
Like the part when Bison's troops surround Gael high up on Bison's headquarters with
massive rifles and Gael responds by grinning with confidence and pulling out a pen knife.
Ha ha!
It's only then that the camera moves
and we see Giles troops are behind him
with even bigger guns.
To sum it up, Street Fighter has its funny sides,
ultra-violence, tactical espionage, and swear words.
10 out of 10 hits all the requirements. Oh my God, swear words. 10 out of 10 hits all the requirements.
Oh my God.
With the way, does anyone else feel like every,
all of the men had hair that had been dyed orange?
Yes.
That was like a very 90s, like early 90s thing
that was happening.
Like it was like they were.
Well, I mean, Gail has blonde hair,
so they had to do his hair like that.
But his hair can't be that color.
I mean, it looks like they were trying to get them blonde and they landed on this strange
color for both of them.
Well, the Gile character in the video game has very striking hair.
It's actually like very large.
It's like sort of large and flat on top and very blonde.
And I think they didn't actually go far enough
with Van Damme's hair.
The color of it is just not a color.
I guess what I'm saying is it just doesn't exist in nature.
Like both of them had very strangely colored hair.
They did, indeed.
We can take it up with their stylist.
I wanna read this other one here.
There's another review that these two are
some of my favorite reviews ever.
This is my favorite DVD. It deserves a hundred rewards and it I love this movie
so much I will never sell it for a million dollars and that's my opinion.
So don't ever disrespect it. Buy this movie for everyone who wants a good movie.
Five stars. Amazing. Followed up by this one. This first of all this movie is
excellent and don't ever and this means you Daniel a
McLean say that again
You're insulting the stars who are in this movie like John Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia Ming Yang Damien Chappy Kyle Monogh and West
Studio they did very well and
Don't underestimate a great movie you idiot
Five stars.
So that was a very personal Amazon review.
Some things that you guys should think about.
Fabio was considered for the role of Vega.
Amazing.
And this is the one thing that really jumped out at me.
The AN Forces radio DJ was played by Adrian Cronauer,
who was the actual DJ that they based Good Morning Vietnam on.
He says, Good Morning, Shadow Lou.
So it is not referencing Good Morning Vietnam.
It is actually the guy that they based
Good Morning Vietnam on to play that guy.
Well, how about the comical PA announcements
throughout the whole movie?
Yes, oh yeah, they were very,
they were like, don't what they they like don't
Drinking cronauer that's the guy is a funny guy. You gotta get the best
Not don't get Robin. What I bet you they went to Robin Williams to be Adrian cronauer and then they had to get there
But there was also a n-base announcements that was like, what do you do if a yeah a bison soldier throws a grenade at you
Yeah, a bison soldier throws a grenade at you and also like
Insurance announcements. Yeah
Anything that we miss anything anyone wants to bring up before movies terrible
Oh, well the movie starts with them tracing the phone call to Oh, right. They're trying to find television. Yes, they're trying to find for bison is a boat ride away
Yes, right. They're trying to find his On television. Yes. They're trying to find... Bison is a boat ride away.
Yes.
Right?
They're trying to find his base for most of the movie.
There's several times in the movie when they cut to a satellite in space, like seeing,
like everything going on, and they're tracing the fucking phone call in the beginning of
the movie, why can't they find this guy?
But he lives in a temple, like a beautifully ornate temple.
It is not hard to find them
That should not have been one of the things that happened in this movie. Oh boy. Oh boy. I recommend watching it
I actually enjoyed it. I feel like it's one of those movies that is like very watchably bad
It's on Netflix instant. It don't cost you nothing. Is it? Oh, no, no, it's not it's on it's like a two dollar
rental but ready for HD. Yeah, you got to get in
Um, you know, we have a sponsor shout out here this guy Mike Hanley donated over a hundred dollars
To the show. So thank you Mike and for you Mike
We're gonna play something that we only played on a mini episode and I've been meaning to play it on the actual show. This is a clip I
don't even know how you describe it but a musical interlude of the show. All
the literally's pulled together all the different quotes everything at all that
was actually made by... The supercut? Supercut and how did this get made supercut so
and enjoy that for those of you who have not heard it
I think you'll really like it
Hello people of earth hello people of earth hello people of earth and welcome to how did this get made I watched this movie at
10 o'clock this morning, huh?
And it literally blew my mind share literally puts makeup on Christina Aguilera and literally the image on the screen.
That movie should literally be called Wigs.
Every choice they make in the movie is literally,
they're literally, it literally,
Stanley Tucci would literally,
and it's an excuse for Cher to literally,
so even the explanation makes no sense.
It makes no sense.
It made no sense.
It made no sense.
Made no sense whatsoever. It makes no sense. No sense made no sense whatsoever
To deliver lines that make no
Literally as there's a guy who literally
Setting actually it was actually really upsetting. Oh, it's so upsetting That was so upsetting it's so upsetting this movie I found very upsetting so upsetting that scene
Upset me the title really upset me
That scene upset me. The title really upset me too.
She literally, her body is ripped apart by this deal.
Literally, she is whipped, literally ripped.
This movie instantly makes no sense.
The entire movie makes zero sense.
It kicks in here in the third act where it goes bonkers.
His performance is bonkers.
His team was bonkers.
All of the fucking crazy bonkers straight up. Crazo. Super Crazo bonkers his team was bonkers all of the fucking crazy bonkers straight up
craze out super crazo bonkers it is a bonkers insane world it's bonkers that
is bonkers she must be so bonkers I gotta upload this bonkers next level of
crazy horror movie literally literally says like it's literally they
were literally I literally I know people have been writing on the boards that I
say literally literally all the time it's literally that movie and I know I say
literally a lot guys you don't have to write about it makes no sense it made no
sense makes no sense this makes no sense that's literally literally they literally just in literally that whole sequence where she got into the cab
10 different ways was
Crazy that was the craziest thing I've ever seen. That's the craziest thing. That was crazy
Shit is crazy. It was crazy. I know is crazy. It's crazy crazy
Absolutely crazy. I was like this It's crazy. Absolutely crazy.
I was like, this is absolute insanity.
I was like, this movie is insanity.
Like, you're literally, I was like, this is absolutely insane.
Absolute insanity.
Absolute insanity.
That is insanity.
It's amazing.
This is amazing.
Oh my god.
Amazing scene.
That scene is amazing.
Oh, that's amazing. Amazing scene is amazing. That's amazing.
Amazing. Amazing performance.
It's amazing. Amazing.
Amazing. She was amazing. Amazing.
The rest of the police department is acting like dildos.
Everybody talks like a fucking dildo in this movie.
You've never been in battle, you dumb dildo.
None of this makes sense.
It makes no sense.
The helicopter scene is insane.
His mustache is insane.
His wig is out of control.
It's out of control.
This is bananas.
Which is bananas.
And it's literally-
That literally is literally a line.
It will literally forget how fucking insane this movie was.
This is fucking insane.
They literally-
That shot of all the- The car literally- When they were- they literally- It's mental. Fucking insane this movie was this is fucking insane. They literally
The car literally when they're like they literally it's mental
It's mental it was mental and then the whole reason
Mental man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh boy. Oh boy. Man. Oh man. Oh God Wow Wow Wow Oh, yeah, yeah, oh boy. Oh, man. Oh oh man. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy
Boy, oh boy. And I was like oh boy here. We go. Oh boy. Here we go. Oh boy. Here we go
Oh brother
Oh brother. Oh brother. It makes. Possibly me. It makes no sense.
It doesn't make sense.
Literally, it's like literally, literally, like literally,
it then makes no sense.
What the fuck is happening?
And I was like, what the fuck is happening?
What the fuck is happening?
What the fuck is happening?
I was like, what is happening right now?
And I was like, what is happening?
I was like, what is happening?
What is happening? I was like, what is happening? I'm dating. What is happening like what is happening? What is happening?
I was like what is happening?
What is happening?
What is happening?
What is going on?
What the fuck is going on?
What the fuck is going on?
What is going on?
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about? I gotta say talking about? What are you talking about?
I gotta say though that moment made me really bummed out.
That really bummed me out.
Who knows?
Who knows?
Who knows?
Who knows?
Who cares?
Who cares? Who knows?
Who knows?
Shut up dumb-d on it and then he literally
where he's like literally literally goes like this person is literally let's get
to the meat of this fucking movie literally how did it get made I literally
am like I don't know that of course, was the How'd This Get Made Supercut
made by Kevin Porter.
Thank you, Kevin, for all the time that it took you to make that.
Kevin also is behind the Aaron Sorkin Supercut.
If you haven't seen that, it's awesome.
It's pretty damn amazing.
So thank you, Kevin Porter.
All right, John, thank you so much for being with us.
Thank you for having me.
It was awesome.
I'm glad.
June, do you feel like you,
I would like you to, before we leave,
just explain your idea of what a street fighter is.
Yeah.
I think a street fighter is some,
I'm gonna say someone who,
okay, someone who fights in the street, outside.
Yep, I think that's probably pretty much.
So you think the movie is invalidated
by the indoor fighting?
Yeah, all the interior shots mean nothing to me.
Okay, that's a very strong point of view.
All right, that is all, as always.
John, what are you on Twitter?
How can they follow you?
Oh, God, I don't tweet much, I gotta say,
but it's at Gember Licking.
There it is.
You can follow me at Paul Shear.
At Miss June Dianne.
Not on Twitter, guys.
Definitely check out Burning Love Season Three right now
on burninglove.com.
My comic book, Alien Versus Parker,
is out in stores right now, issue two on Newsstands
or at Comacology, you can get it there.
Thank you guys for listening.
We'll see you next time, bye-bye.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.