How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze LIVE! (w/ Adam Pally)

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

Go Ninja! Go Ninja! Go!!! Adam Pally joins Paul, Jason, and June to discuss Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze LIVE from Irving Plaza in New York City. They cover the horrific amount of pizza, why these are the most charmless turtles imaginable, April O’Neil’s strange relationship with the turtles, and more. Plus, we hear from Vanilla Ice himself on how Ninja Rap was born. (Originally released 06/26/2015) HDTGM is going on tour this August! Tix on sale at hdtgm.comFor more Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/c/PaulScheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: https://discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (https://www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: listen.earwolf.com/deepdiveSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

It's the rare case of a sequel that takes everything that you love about the first film and completely disregards an abandoned. We saw Teenage Mutant Intertural 2, Secret of the Oos, so you know what that means. Remembers! I hope to blow off steam just to suck a push to online for Timothy Green Shot the native first Demi, can we stand a lot? They call it in the badass and he's on the line Cranking eight minutes cause they cool his life Cause a bad champ, Bonnie looking kind Night falling through the inletable

Jason is getting late Junior's making sure all the monkey shots get in pain They judge a bunch of movies while they making the great Here's a real question for you how to just get made. Hello, people of us! And hello, people of New York City! We are so excited to be here at Irving Plaza tonight, a very important movie.

Before we start the show, I have a long question for you. Let me hear you say, go ninja go ninja go! Go ninja go ninja go! Louder! Go ninja go ninja go! All right, you guys are ready. All right, we're good. We're ready.

We could do it all night. As the song does it for four minutes. It's a really well executed song. So many layers about ninjas and going. I would like to bring out to the stage right now. One of my co-hosts, please welcome Jason man Zookas how dare you New York what's up Jacks how's everybody doing good

I hope I like I said earlier, I hope that you guys say Zooks and not Boo. Because if it's Boo, I will straight up punch you in the goddamn tits. I would like it to be 75-25. 75 Zooks, 25 Booz. 25 people who are like, not a fan. But that keeps a good energy going. Not a fan. I'm here for Paul and June, not the other guy.

And I want him to know it, so I will boo. Oh no, some people are saying zooks, so my boo's are drowned out. So hard. Well, let's see how they feel about my next co-host. Please welcome June Dan Rifle. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. There's some nice jumes in there. I think they were jumes. I think you should take comfort that they are probably most likely jumes. If you paid the ticket price, you're probably saying jumes. Oh, no. I bet a bunch of emails went around that's like, guys, we have to buy tickets to the show,

we have to wait in line in the rain so we can tell them we do not care for their antics. Because these movies are great. I've been on my treadmill. I've been so mad. I need to say it in person and be important. These are important. This is an audience full of people that write second opinions. Five stars.

Five stars. If you know one thing about this show, it's that we don't repeat our guests unless they are really, really good. We love our next guest. You know him from Happy Endings, you know him from the Mindy Project. Please welcome Adam Paley! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Boo! Yeah! Boo! Can't confuse that shit for a boo! That's some fucking excitement for me! Welcome! Welcome! Two teenage mutant individuals. for me. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Teenage Mutant Architectural School. Oh, this was a tough one. I have a lot to say, but I also want to,

and I don't mean to call you out on this one, I told you that we were doing this, you had an interesting response to it. I said, I know it word for word, it's my son's favorite movie. Oh, God. Really? Yep, I've watched this movie about a thousand times. Oh, that would make me hate my child. Oh, I do. I do. That's like for real. That would make me be like, you know what? I'm fucking done with you, bro. Well, okay.

Your taste is already garbage. Here's the thing I will say about this movie. I don't know the lore and the history. Oh, well, you don't. But I do know this. But you're not an expert on this. I would like to be a YouTuber. Not.

I will say this. Well, are you an expert on turtles? Let me say this much. I'm not an expert on them. What I know this much is true. I do not like these turtles. Much is true. This much is true. No, man. Much is true. It's much just true.

No, this is a real secret of the booze. Wait a second. So you do not like these turtles. I found them charmless. I found them. I agree. Yeah, I will. I will say the one thing I want to get out of the way

right at the top is anyone is going to complain like, what's a kid's movie? OK, I will. I will say the one thing I want to get out of the way right at the top is Anyone is gonna complain like what's a kids movie? Okay, hold on It's also the worst kids movie. It's like it's not like it's not good the kids shouldn't watch it I will say this you are a bad parent for letting your son watch this Fair enough. Only negative life lessons can be learned from this movie. Totally, but you know what, for those two hours that he's watching this, he's not bothering me, so. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a movie that doesn't even respect itself because it's an hour and like 25 minutes. Yeah. It couldn't even creep out the extra five. This, well, it's also, I watch this on the plane. I watch both of these movies, Hercules in New York,

and this movie on the plane yesterday from LA and legitimately hope to the plane would crash. I was praying for a 9-11 scenario. Hang on New York. Hang on New York. Hang on New York. Stay with me. Stay with me. United 93.

You know, it was an inside job, guys. Watch the documentaries on YouTube. Loose change, guys. Loose change. Let's roll. Ooh. We're coming out hot. Straight out of lose change. Let's roll. Ha ha ha. Ooh, we're coming out hot. Straight out of the gate. Nine, eleven.

There is, well, you know what? Turtles comes out hot because the first shot of turtles besides the opening montage of ridiculously cheesy pizza being cheesy. So cheesy. So cheesy that pizza is a glory shot of the twin towers. Yep. Just staring at you, begging to be taken down by a plan.

It is widely known that the reason Al Qaeda planned the attack on the towers was because of this movie. They were like, we were fetishizing those towers too much. Hear me out, guys. Hear me out, guys. Hear me out. They're mad at that bebop and rock steady weren't in it. Um, OK. So talking about that opening, I've never

been more grossed out by pizza. Like, I started and going, oh, I would like a sight of pizza. And then I was like, oh, I never want to eat pizza again. It's disgusting to watch people. And you'll, I don't know if you remember just before this show, I was eating pizza. And we're all upstairs. No big deal.

We get it. You eat pizza. Oh, we get it. You can handle lactose. What? I was uncomfortable being with a group of my peers eating pizza because I felt like this is a disgusting act. Yes. There's one graceful way to do this.

I'm going to find a private spot and eat three-flighted. And shame me. And now I'm sitting here digesting. Yeah. That's what's happening. I saw that private spotter here as it was just the corner. June. It's big in the wall. Very much like the Blair Witch Project.

June, it faces into a corner and it's your pizza. The one that we all took off, right? In a shame corner. The one that particularly grossed me out was the one where the couple was kissing real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they ate the pizza. But there were so many that grossed me

because like the actors doing it, they were really running out of variations on how to eat pizza. Like a couple that were like shaking the slice, like oh, I can't fit it, you know. That'll be my pizza guy, I'll be the guy that can't fit it. I can't, like, oh, I can't fit it. That'll be my pizza guy. I'll be the guy that can't fit it. I can't, like, what do you do it?

The guy was like, oh, I'ma be real cheesy guy. I'ma be the guy that takes a bite, really draws it out. By the way, it appears to me that that opening montage of people eating pizza was the only two hours that they shot in actually New York City. Yeah. That was about it. 100%.

This movie is so on like a scrim that New York City I feel like is blowing back and forth. It's like a big matte painting in the background. And we're introduced right away to the biggest asshole this kid, Kino, who I guess you're supposed to like, you're supposed to like him. And the first thing is like, these girls, like he's like, hey ladies, you want to go on a date or whatever? Yeah. And the girls are like, not with you, nerd. All right, that's endearing. Now he's picked on whatever. But he goes, well, I have a dream of, oh, she was like,

in your dreams, he goes, yeah, my dreams, you'll be thinner. Oh. And by the way, she was not overweight. No. Also, what a weird, trippy dream. Can you imagine explaining that to your friend? I'd be like, dude, I had trippy dream. Can you imagine explaining that to your friend? I'd be like, dude, I had the weirdest dream. Do you remember, I don't know if you remember this,

there was that woman. Yeah. That woman that I talked to, and she was like, in your dreams, you remember there? Well, it was her face on a thinner body, who was like, so weird. She looked good. I need to find an Italian person in some cardio.

Well, he also was super creepy It's a weird, like, you look good. I need to find a television and some cardio. Well, he also was super creepy when he showed up to April O'Neill's apartment. Yeah. That's weird. He was like, I was supposed to deliver some pizza to the guy across the street, across the hall, but he's not there and just walks into her apartment.

Like, so I'm gonna walk in here. I figured you'd want this pizza and maybe like my action, right? I mean, I want to talk about April O'Neal eventually, too, because I think that she has boundary issues. Oh, for sure. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Yes. Front row agrees.

Well, also, what was the voice that Kino had on? Like, was the director telling him, like, more wheezing, more like, more like, inquisitive wheezing, you know what I mean? Like, why can't I do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything, yeah. Well, no one was there. So I came here.

It's like, it's like you're squeezing a dog toy, but only can speak at the very last point of breath. Like, he. Guys, very severe asthma. Best he could do. Kino, when they found out the director was like, you can't say more than three words that we've got. Fucking dammit.

All right, all right. By the way, Kino was a stunt double in the first movie. Really? He was brought in as a turtle. And then they took him out of the shell not unlike the live musical stage show which we'll talk about turtles out of our shell but just to give a little bit of background for those of you who don't know the first turtles movie is darker it's cooler I would say, I love the guys that are like,

Yup. The guys that are like, I will defend that movie. I am a grown man. And I will tell you what's what. That guy gets it. The girl next to him is like, I live in shame.

Yeah. The girl next to him is like, May I see him? May I watch the turtles? Welcome to my healthscape. Yeah. And the whole reason with Michael Bay, Michael Bay doesn't get it. They were like, got it.

You don't understand. You have to go back to the comics to really understand what I mean, in the dark fucked up world. Yeah, in the Goanjo, I was not a joke man. Please meet my lovely girlfriend. But so, and just to put it some context, I think, June, you probably would want to know this as well, is the filmmakers were under a tremendous amount of pressure to take out any violence or bad characteristics of the characters. So they basically white, the movie was enormously successful. then the parents count to like it's too violent

They shouldn't use their weapons. They're ninjas So that's why in this movie they don't use their swords ever ever They never they're wearing them. They never use them. Yeah They also rarely use their own shells What yeah, and you They use like a high, like a... They also rarely use their own shells. But... What? Yeah? And... And...

And... And accept to dance. Yeah. Wait, so that would be... Well, you know what a turtle shell is for. So you're saying that the shell should have been used more as a shield? Yeah, or if you want to hide, just... Oh!

...in my shell. Yeah, they've not... It's not a great hiding spot because... Or if you want to hide, just curl up in my shell. Yeah, they've not popped out of there. It's not a great hiding spot because you're still left with this giant shell in the middle of the room. But they kept saying they were looking for a new home. I was like, you guys, you. You are home.

Oh, you're there. You're there. You're all right. You were all right. Guys, guys, if you lived here, you'd be home. The thankfully, for them, they were constantly up against an army of other ninjas who also didn't have weapons. And God. And I couldn't figure out the best word for it,

but I guess flinch fighting because everyone's like, jittering, I got, hey, we're gonna make me throw a punch. But not yet, there's a lot of dancing around, not even like, just a lot of dancing. There is a lot of dancing. Everything is dancing. Everything is like some choreographed movement that is not quite fighting is more dancing

than fighting. It's very bizarre. This movie also was a pioneer of sorts to something. It was not. It was. Respectfully disagree. It was. It was a pioneer in this type of kid show that is now really prevalent, which is like, like, groaning fight shows,

like where there's just like a lot of, like, mighty more than power-angers or something, there's like, there's not a lot of stuff going on, but there's a bunch of like, ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah guys like, oh, this sounds like porn. I mean, that's what it is. But now all these like, kids shows that don't do violence, they're just these like, grunt fighting shows, where like people are like, oh, here comes a kick. Oh, the kick!

And they always seem to be out, like, they're outnumbered in the beginning, and it's not a problem. And then, like, I comes a kick, oh, the kick! And they always seem to be out, like they're outnumbered in the beginning, and it's not a problem. Then the same amount of people seem to show up later in the movie, and it's a gigantic problem. Yeah.

It's insurmountable. Yeah. Let me ask you a question. What, I don't know anything about these guys. Sure. You don't know an expert. I don't know an expert. You want us to go through the specific personalities? No, that's fine. But I want to know, I don't know anything about these guys. You're not an expert. Not an expert. You want us to go through the specific personalities?

No, that's fine. But I want to know. Could you break down what their personalities are? By the way, also, I have a very fraught relationship with the turtles. Fraught? Yes, because of my last name. Fraught.

No, I'm not kidding you. I was made fun of my sisters were made fun of, because we were coming of age while we were, yeah, I get weird to go. I get it. So I've always had a bit of a, hey Raphael, what are you one of the ninja turtles? That's it.

Hey, Raphael, let's watch you eat pizza. Yeah. What are you going to do, save us? It just felt terrible to be a girl. We're still in a terrible. It felt this felt horrible. We're still in a terrible. It still feels terrible.

They hired my glandulo. It's feeling worse or worse. Hey, we're still in a terrible, but seriously, will you go to the spring dance? I'm going to go to the spring dance. By the way, this is a question I wanted. want to question my question though is that I was saying I I really did sort of disconnect from the turtles I never I was just like I hate fucking turtles like I hate them I knew that they were like a boy thing and I felt like they weren't for me and what about a pro nil?

That's your window I didn't know I did not know anything about them what makes them mutant no I know the ooze does but what about them is mute well okay they're what do you let me ask hang on hang on what do you think what do you think? It's a magnet, this is me. What do you think makes the mutant? What about them? It's different than a regular turtle. Let's dig into this.

What do you think? Question. Let's dig in. Let's unpack it. Let's unpack it. What do you think about the ooze makes the mutant? Look, here's where I had an issue. When I see those creatures, I don't... To me, it looks like there's a bunch of grown men wearing Halloween costumes. Of turtles. Like, I didn't see that.

Well, what about splinter? Well, I don't know what splinter is. Splinter is a rat. Now, do you think that splinter is a rat is like the turtles? Yes. He was infected by the same moves. Yeah, OK. I know that.

Except splinters, or who has made him speak in a stereotypically racist Asian accent. Well, is that part of his mutation? Yeah. That he also became stereotypically Asian? Yeah. No, but his mutation is he also became stereotypically Asian. Yeah. His mutation is he became Mike Myers, playing Judge Edo. Splinter.

Splinter, that's, you guys are being a little racist because Splinter is obviously an Asian rat. Yeah, he is an Asian rat. He's a sharp pay rat. I guess that I'm saying though, is Splinter is just a rat. Yeah, correct. No, no, no. He is a mutant rat. He's a mutant rat.

No, he was in the ooze, yeah. But it's mostly rat. You look at him and you just see a rat. Wait, Julie, when you think the turtles are. Dude, dude, dude, dude. You're just thinking. He's this tall. He's this tall. He walks. He talks. And he fights. He shoots a bow and arrow. And he makes funnies. He makes funnies. By the way, I want to call into, I want to talk about this funny, but go ahead. He shoots a bow and arrow. And he makes funnies. He makes funnies. By the way, I want to call into,

I want to talk about this funny, but go ahead. To me, he looks like a rat. If I see him, I think that's a rat. When I see the turtles, I don't know what to think. I'm looking at them and I'm like, what are they? I really don't, I don't see turtle. I don't see person. I don't, I don't, that's why I'm asking about the mutation.

Like, I don't know what they, let's figure it out. Well, we don't think that they got infected by the use. How about this, you saw the dog, I see this much, okay. I get that they're teenagers, like they're teenage. Yeah, yeah. What they had to say, that energy is very apparent

in this movie especially. Yeah, they're energy that energy is very apparent in this movie especially Yeah, so annoying they're bouncing off the wall. It's not featured in the movie But in the comic books a lot of it deals with their pubes coming Which are hidden behind their turtle shell. Yeah, they can't get it because the pubes are so overgrown This is what I'm trying to say. Because they're teenagers. I really do want to articulate this. I feel like there's nothing turtle-like about them. So you want, besides their every physical attribute. Besides, besides looking exactly like turtle. They don't like turtle.

They don't like turtle. You're saying there's nothing to. I got to, I kind of, I got to. I don't look like turtles. Like turtles. You're amazing. There's nothing to. I got to, I kind of, I got to. I don't look like turtles. No, I don't. I agree with you. And I think Rafael doesn't sound like a turtle. He sounds like an animated germ.

Well, let's, let's, as we are talking about, he's like, oh, no, the pizza. The character distinctions of this... I'll just move you, all right. He's like, I'll just move you, all right. He's like, I'll just move you, all right. I wish one of the turtles had DICE's voice. Oh my God. Victory, DICKERY SHELL!

I was banging this rabbit called Michelle! Two shells Let's not a strong rhyme before we get into the personalities of turtles Let's just get into the people behind the turtles as 60 minutes explores The actors in the turtle suit Don't you wet with sweat Once we sweat them up about 70 pounds explain that to me Once we sweat a month, we're about 70 pounds. Explain that to me once we sweat a month.

In other words, once you're perspiring up at the costume absorbs, it's like a big sponge, you're wearing a body sponge, is basically what they're doing. You must get drenched in that costume. What does that feel like? Well, I don't know if you've ever held a Nerf football after like, it's been outside the backyard. It's pretty spongy and very heavy.

Yeah, but it's exactly like that. I mean, you just completely self the constant. Throughout the day, things, because of the physical stress that you're under, and your limited vision and limited breathing. Limited breathing? Yeah, we have a very small area where the oxygen that we breathe in comes in right through where we see as well. And unfortunately, there's not a good system of getting a carbon dioxide. That's so weird.

So we tend to breathe in a lot of our own carbon dioxide after a while, which sometimes you give very sleepy. You start to get a little irritable. These are desksuits. I don't weigh 70 pounds of human sweat full of carbon dioxide that makes the actor is sleepy Nothing worse than the man putting his hands in the turtles mouth Just so the man inside can breathe

You know that actor is like oh can you get the can you get the first ID over here real quick? You get Ronnie over here real quick. Ronnie. I'm dying. I'm dying I'm dying, I'm dying. These seem like nightmares. I have read another thing that between the first movie and the second movie, I guess in the first movie, they had all the animatronics in their shells. But the Henson Company figured out this time how to put all the animatronics in their heads.

So the heads were extremely heavy. So there's gyros and gears going off. So where the way this person was. in their heads so that heads were extremely heavy. So there's gyros and gears going off. So where the way was this person before? So these people were breaking their ankles during the movie. Really? Yeah, because they're just in a robot costume

full of sweat and carbon dioxide. And who is doing the voices of the turtles? Well, originally it was Cory Feldman in the first one, but he didn't come back. I love how the turtle voice is always stay exactly the same no matter what the medium or how it changes. They always, Leonardo always has this like brash, like kind of crackly hero kid voice. You know what I mean?

Yeah. It's like, I'm a leader. Holy and hard, oh. And then like Don Tell is kind of smart one. He's like nerdy and like it just always is the same thing. I accepted this one. Michelangelo is literally unhinged. He's like a, he said, he's crazy.

Fucking crazy. Like, blah, blah, blah, he's crazy. Fucking crazy. Like, oh, brah, brah, brah. Like every sentence is like, oh, brah, brah, brah, brah. Like, how did that happen? Yeah, how did? Well, yeah, I don't, I guess, to June's point, I don't understand how the mutation made them

into surfer bros. Just one of them, really. Just one. Just one. Yeah. It made them all have very distinct specific personalities. Yeah. They're very hard to distinguish.

And this one I feel. I agree. Yeah, this they bleed into each other. Yeah. Let's talk a little bit about April O'Neill. Because April O'Neill, we're introduced to her coming on from the supermarket buying a buying a baguette. Like, everyone ever in a movie.

You're going into the supermarket. Last thing. I got to buy that baguette. Last thing New Yorker just walking home with a super market baguette. But gotta get that baguette, making that French toast. That is a theme. There's a lot of like French and Europe jokes in this movie.

Like, there's that dungeon like, I don't know, I don't know this big, but it's like Europe. It was like, by the way, that's not a dungeon. It's a fucking subway. Yeah. You fucking dummy. Dumb buck.

There's another one that I'm forgetting too, that comes out of left field. That's like this weird. I wrote that, and a lot of these jokes felt like a 60 year old writer going, yeah, the kids are like a Ralph Nader joke. Yeah. The Ralph Nader are like a Ralph Nader joke. Yeah. The Ralph Nader joke, the Ralph Nader joke makes no sense.

No. It blew my mind. It blew my mind. They're in a net and someone's like, and Michael Angel is like, yeah, bro, this is net was made by Ralph Nader. Yeah. No, this net is really strong.

Strong, yeah. I need to write Ralph Nader a letter, or something like that. Because I think Ralph Nader at one point, and again, this movie is 91, and I think Ralph Nader in the 80s did a show where the people would write in and be like, hey, I bought a new one.

No, he had a wrong thing where he was like seat belts need to be stronger, which I'm assuming that's what this is trading on. Well, I also like a movie for children that has Joan Rivers Can we talk too soon? What about what about what about two bow guard impressions? Yep, too Not one and just in case you miss it. There's one if they there's a fedora In the next year just to really drive it home. Oh, yeah great one, there's a fedora in another box. Yeah, just to really drive it home.

Oh, yeah. Great. Well, I always have parents. Listen else, uh, what? I'll buy it in a loony tunes because they were made years ago. This movie was made in 91. Like, no one is like, oh, yeah, that's a contemporary reference. Well, then, then, kids must be watching it being like,

oh, they're making fun of those Bugs Bunny cartoons. figure, but then she's also like a sexualized figure. And she's also. And she's also. And she's also signing an awful lot of paperwork in this movie. She's just always signing. Extras are walking by, and she's signing papers for them, and signing papers for them. It's crazy the amount of paperwork she's signing. And she does very long news reports.

I'm like, oh, this is a pre-tapese. Oh, no, we're live. Yeah. And I'm here with the head of the IGN company. And he's also having a meeting. Where's the producer? Get that guy close to the camera. Let's get this going.

Like, she's so latched. She's also super inappropriate on the air. Like, at the end, she's like in a personal message. And right away, I'm like, no newscasters can do that. No, no, no, you can't use this Private message across the airway. No, no, no this time is not for you She's like I just like to thank four people and then she names the turtles of the casual viewer of the news Yeah, must be like what the fuck is happening?

She's thinking for Renaissance artists What the fuck is happening? She's thanking four Renaissance artists. Yeah. She's like, I just want to give a shout out. Yeah. On the news. Yeah. Me and other news, two planes have hit the world trades center.

Like, can you? Too soon? Too soon? Come on. We waited a good 10 minutes from the first time we did those jobs. You guys were 30 blocks away. My favorite moment with April O'Neill

is when the turtles are, I guess, kicked out of her house. I don't know. They go to find their own house. They leave so it's to not endanger her. OK. The real estate search is a real departure in this movie. Right. When they head down to the sewer, she stands, it's raining out,

and she's holding an umbrella. And she stands, I guess, to make sure that nobody sees these turtles. These mutants. Yeah, I think she's turtles. Turtle. And so she's holding the umbrella and the sewer holes there. And one by one by one and slowly.

So slowly. So slowly. So entering to the middle of the road and greet her, some have a full conversation with her. Yeah. And then head down. So slow like this. So I'm turning to the middle of the road and greet her. So I'm gonna have a full conversation with her. Yeah. And then head down and it's such an odd parade. And it's so slow.

Well, they are so slow movies. In for ages. By the way, and for ninjas. And but, but much like turtles. Well, they are turtles. Much like turtles. It's a three-pronged deal, June. You know, because they're teenageed.

So they're a little rambunctious, but they're mutants. So they're also not fully comfortable. They're bodies, but they are turtles. You know, so they also move slower. You could also argue that the teenage, you're not comfortable because of puberty, too. So they're going on with those turtles. Because they don't get in boners at in our plastic times. They're like, oh, I turtles. Because they don't... Oh, can they're getting boners at an oblast in time?

They're like, oh, I want to fight these ninjas, but I've got a boner. Uh-oh. How did this hurt me? How did this hurt me? June, what I had an issue with was that, why did they send April out to lift a very heavy subway grate when they are clearly stronger? Ninja Tur. And more depth, like, why couldn't they just say,

a good-bye to her in the house? It was raining out to me if I were her. There's no way you get me out in the weather like that. There's no way. Do you think the conversation was like, are you gonna come see Khabarovs? What do we are doing? No, it's raining and he's like, come on.

We've been living here for like six weeks. Come on, say, think about it. What's weird is they appear to need a pro-neil to say all clear, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, they are ninjas. Well, they operate in the shadows. They are silent.

They are not. They are never hidden. No, they make a shitload of noise. So much noise. And they are not. They are, they are never hidden. No. They make a shitload of noise. So much noise. And they are slow. They are, they, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are, they are of these guys, they're giving ninjas a bad name. We are ninjas. By the way, we are ninjas. I didn't realize that the foot was a very Oliver twist situation where they're calling the city for martial arts runaways.

Yeah. Do you think I'm gonna ask a stupid question and one of you fucking dildos is gonna know the answer? Are they called the foot because the ninjas in the Marvel Universe are called the hand? Thank you, nerds. I didn't quite, did you get this, do you like, Geno's plan is I'm gonna go infiltrate the foot

because I'm really good at martial arts. And then I'll report back to you. But the plan really falls apart when he brings the turtle with him. Yeah. Like, in broad daylight. So broad daylight. So broad daylight.

I'm even fighting. He's waiting. He's waiting. And you're like, all right, hey, we're going to go and do our little tournament to find out who can be a villain. And he's a good. And he's like, one second.

And he runs over here. And he's like, hey, so I think like, one sec. And he runs over here and he's like, hey, so I think the plans are working. It's going great. It's going really great, right? I'm a grown man-sized turtle. Yeah. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back here.

Well, all these other guys are right there. You think they can see me? You want to follow me? Follow me, yeah, come on. Yeah, but then... But then... Oh. Ah.

This is a great part. This is a great part of that, too, when he comes back. When Kino walks back to part, there's this great part of that too when he comes back when Kino walks back to Rafael who's sitting to see T'Way and Rafael goes, what happened? You know, didn't you see it? Why are you trailing me if you're not paying attention? What were you doing? This was before cell phones. He wasn't playing any crush. Yeah, he wasn't like, oh, sorry.

I wrote in my notes at one point, splinter is the most lifelike character in this movie. And that is a completely robotic character. Let's take a look at splinter. Talking about the rules of what's good about Earth Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to a teenage minds, but they could never understand their world can never be ours. Oh, not even pizza? Pizza's okay.

Ha, man, you're not a heart attack. And for Peth, for Pelley, this makes him think of his son. Yeah, man. Now, does your kid want to eat pizza all the time? Yeah. And you know what? As long as he's not asking me to cook for him, I'll give a shit.

He cares about his address. Easiest way out. That's my book. I'm'm parenting. I do think that the, I think this is, I'm gonna take a gander at the plot of the movie. I think that you feel like the stories that they are unhappy and dissatisfied

with their origin story once they find it out. And like set out to find a more interesting They don't ever get to what the ooze is the moon is built as the secret of the OOOS but I actually It is learned But once once that basic premise like was set up I thought that's a really that's interesting to me What one wanting to Truly uncover your own origin story? Because I believe. I'm not wanting to wanting for it to be more exciting. I thought that was interesting.

Yeah, that's a struggle we can all relate with. Yeah, feeling like they don't have a great story to tell. Yeah, they're actually kind of cool. That was a cool idea, but then it was just discarded. Well, I don't know that that's the actual plot of the movie. To think of a better or a true story. What is the plot of the movie? I think it is to uncover their actual origin story. But what Splinter says to them is that basically

it was an accident. The reason why they were mutated, it was just by pure chance. And that is dissatisfying. And they'd set out to find a better answer. I'm gonna go- I'm gonna go toe to toe with you here and say, I don't even think that there was that much thought into the plot because I'm literally thinking like,

what is the plot of this movie? I don't know. I know that splinter is come back because his hand is better. Five times. Is that a hand? They're not gonna get enough of that gag. No, I know that splinter is come back. No, shredder. A shredder. Five times. Is that a hand? They're not going to get enough of that gag.

Gush. Hand up. Now. I'm correct. Shredder's body after his defeat at the end of, I'm assuming, the first movie, is dumped in a junkyard full of ninjas, question mark. Am I right?

Well, it seems like he's stuck in the garbage. Where they like, or then like his hand comes out and then they're like, and over. And it's where all the, the foot is meeting. Yeah. And then he's just like, I'm here now. And they're like, oh shit, you're back. We'll show a clip of how Shredder speaks.

This is when he mutates his own animals, which we can get into in a second, but here we go. Come forward! Move, snapping to the incredible. Yes, come forward. But that means you will. When it's over, you will call me Master. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no tree. My son will scream to me, oftentimes, do babies!

Yeah. Because it is so funny. It is the funniest moment in the movie, by far. It is genuinely funny. I love that moment. I loved it. By the way, by far. Well, it is genuinely funny. I love that moment. I loved it. By the way, just so you know that these characters are supposed to be these characters, Toka and Razor,

were created from the movie, although Bebop and Rock Steady were from the cartoon. And they were like badass bounty hunters, but they wanted to tone down those characters and replace them with these atrociously frightening ones. Like those characters are fucking scary. And their babies. Which is even weirder,

because they are babies forced into combat. I really struggled with that. This is like, move. It's like the season of the movie about child soldiers. This is present, this is basically present. It's an allegory for child soldiers. June, what's going to do in the Tentry? June's having a hard time with us.

It was horrible, I felt terrible with this. For those babies. When the babies started really fighting, I almost cried. I was so horrible. It's horrible. Super violent. Well, had we never saw them transition, which I'm glad about, believe you me.

But I don't know how they became that violent and what happened. Well, here's my thought on this, too, which leads to the biggest question I have about the whole movie. Shredder seems to be a badass, whose only move is to stand around and watch fights. Yep.

He never participates at all. He's like Don King. He's kind of the fight promoter of ninjas. Why would ninjas the fight and then watches? And even his number two henchmen also stands around. The two bad guys in this movie don't fight. They just let babies who are ill equipped to fight fight for them which is a bad plan. Well and that's why they lose. They're structure like on a very like structural process level. Like on a very structural process level, what they're doing doesn't work,

but they haven't learned the flaws of the first movie, have not created any kind of second movie drive to be like, wait, I should fight. Yeah, maybe I should work on my own skills as a cryover. Well, there is the moment at the end. It takes them till the end and when he takes the ooze. But then, even then, he doesn't really want to fight.

He just wants to knock down a pier. Yep. And on himself. On himself. To his own destruction. Yeah. The power. The turtle even said, I think Michael Angelic

goes, whoa, dude, you're going to hurt yourself. Yeah. What's crazy is, so afraid of violence is this movie, the villain has to defeat himself. That's fucking nuts. First, the villain is knocked out cold by a pretty wicked guitar sting. No, a keytar. A keytar.

Really got hit hard with that keytar. No one else. Yeah, it's just him, because he was standing so close to the... That was true. I don't know if pilots would have rocked me up there when I was 13. Kind of like back to the future when Martin gets hit with the bass. But here, I'll show you him getting the key-tar hit here. This is more visual obviously, but

It's gonna fast through to the girl in the red dress gets a lot of action. We're gonna get to the ninja. We'll cover her with this. Oh, my God. Oh, you're a mosquito. I'm not going to get you. Can't, Mikey. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. For those of you obviously, you're listening, you cannot see what happened. They play a few chords on a guitar. It is so forceful that the speaker itself shoots out

of the speaker, and that's coming, I would say, for this movie, at least 60 to 70 miles an hour. Jay hit him in that chest, and then push him out a wall in a window. Oh, for everyone's head. He's like, he's 10, hit him in that chest. Yeah. And then push him out a wall and a window. Oh, for everyone's heads. He's like, he's 10, 15 feet in the air. He's also wearing 70 pounds of metal. Oh, more easy, more easy.

You could argue, you could throw the entire speaker at him and he wouldn't be like, OK, he would be fine. If this speaker put out that loud sound, every human non-mutant in the club would be fine. If this speaker put out that loud sound, every human non-mutant in the club would be dead. All I wish I would just cut back and everyone is bleeding out of the ear. Yes, and it's like why did this happen? The turtles have made me deaf.

Well, that's what you get for going to one of those dock clubs. Which is also connected to a sewer? I get that, though. I thought they were a sewer. And then they were on a dock. That makes sense because Vanilla Ice is their friend of the show. Vanilla Ice is not the secret guest. I've heard a few people bring that up.

It's unhappening. Sorry. I gotta take Umbridge with Vanilla Ice in this movie. Dolores? A little bit. I gotta take Umbridge with Vanilla Ice in this movie. Dolores Umbridge a little bit. I gotta take Dolores Umbridge. Yeah. With, so Vanilla Ice is a world famous plagiarizer for Ice Ice Baby, right?

So this is his number two biggest hit. Is going to enjoy. Going to enjoy. So I'm a diehard New York Nick fan. And in the late 80s and early 90s when you went to a Nick game I'm talking to you guys I know you're from New York I know this. They played a song that went go New York go New York go. This motherfucker plagiarized both his hips.

Adam, I think you're gonna think differently when you hear Ise explain how he came up with this song. Take a listen to this old clip. Go n'ja go n'ja go. Go n'ja go n'ja go. Go n'ja go n'ja go. Go go go go. They sent me a script and everything.

Tell me what was going on in the movie and what was going to be happening. They told me all about this whole scene. It's exactly like they had it wrote down and everything. And told me to write and make it ice. So I did. Hived it up, put the funky beach behind it, and made it ice. And they told me to keep it clean, you know

For the kids and everything which is me anyway, so Not cool I love his fascination of how a script or yeah, they wrote it all down They kind of showed me the whole thing and then I got there and it was exactly how it was written I was shocked. That blew my mind. They were really thorough, like they taught about everything. I remember on my movie, we had a script, we didn't say any of that shit.

I just did motorcycle tricks. Well, speaking of the rap before he watched the rap, are we to believe that he's improvising that ramp and on the spot, he sees these turtles, he's up on stage doing great shows, sold out crowd and the sewer club dock station, and he's like, oh shit, some turtles, they've got some crazy knit, hold on, guys, follow me,

follow me, I gotta wrap, it's only got only three words. Follow me. I got a rap. It's all really got only true work. That's not really how it happened. Okay, tell me, Jim. He looked scared of the turtles at first. Yeah, right. He backs everybody up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up.

He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. He backs everyone up. Yeah, and it's only when the turtles start dancing themselves and seem to be getting a good

response from the crowd. If he realizes, my take on it was he felt he was being upstaged by the turtles. A little bit. At his own show and was like, I gotta get in on this. This part also has one of my favorite tropes of all bad movies, which is the ponytailed record executive. Sure. I didn't think he was a record executive? Sure.

I didn't think he was a record executive. I thought he was a stage manager. I thought he was a record executive because they say, I think he's a club promoter. He's a club promoter, but there's two. Call the police. Yeah, but you know the other one has a ponytail too. He's littler.

It's got a littler ponytail. That's how you know the hierarchy of power. Once the ponytail grows out, then you get to run the club kid. But until then, shut up and do the dishes. By the way, I would love to see that movie. Oh, my God. That movie that is all about ponytail length. It's like so, like, roadhouse serious.

Once you grow that ponytail, like, like Sam Elliott. Once you grow that ponytail, then you got a kid. It starts with like a long shot of some guy just like, eh. Eh. What does he say at the end though that he says like they come back and he goes like, I call the police and he's like, what are you doing?

They like it. They like it. A sign of a good club promoter. Hey look, we're gonna go with it. We're gonna run with this. Here is the Ninja Wrap. You'll get to see everything that we just discussed. Get in!

There's ice. Look at those cascades! I love this place! I'm gonna just pause it for one second and say so the band is like oh shit We should put a funky beat to this fight because the band is starting the band is starting a little bit. Now keep in mind, mutant turtles are fighting a mutant dog and a mutant snapping turtle. And one of the turtles who clearly has a sword on his back took someone's tie to use as a weapon.

And none of, and vanilla ice and his guys aren't making no effort to be like, hey everybody, we should get outta here. Hey, this is dangerous, let's all get outta here. The Rolling Stones took more care at Ultima. Yes. Ah. Tussu. Tussu.

Tussu. So, Cantor Fitzgerald took more care during 9-11. No. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you! Fuck yourself. So, the music starts, Iced Tea is already bopping his head, because the band is started. Here we go. Yo, it's the cream machine Gonna rock the town without you and see Have you ever seen a turtle get down? Go into go into go into go into go

Go into go into go into go Go into go into go into go Go into go into go into go Go into go into go into go into go Go into go into go into go into go Go into go into go into go Right into go into go No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, He's terrible. On a level that is unparalleled. The circle kind of continues here because the band starts, he starts rapping.

The turtles say, whoa, he's rapping, that's a great song. We gotta stop our fighting. And do a choreographed dance. They're all insane. I'm sort of wondering like how I even knows their ninjas. That's what I'm saying. wondering how I even knows their ninjas. That's what I'm saying. He's taking it in too quickly.

Yeah. They've done nothing ninja-like. It's a push a table. Yeah, but if you asked I see be like, well, it was written down in the script. It was written down. In the script. So when I read it first, I was like,

they might be ninjas and then when I got there and they gave me the script again, I read it again and it was they were nin might be ninjas, and then when I got there and they gave me the script again, I read it again, and it was, they were ninjas. Well, I think, maybe what happened is, he knew the title of the movie. Ah. Right, he had seen the first one. Yeah.

And he had seen the first news, he knew they were ninjas. He knew they were ninjas. I also don't like how thrusty that dance number is. Yeah. Because if you look at it, I didn't like it at all. Just jet-naught as junk. What's he doing? And I don't like how thrusty that dance number is. Yeah. Because if you look at it, I didn't like it at all. Just jet-naught is just. What's he doing? And I don't know.

Jet-naught is just. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Imagine if people imagine it at home. I know. I know dancer. You're not.

I don't claim to be a dancer. You're not a dancer. I'm not a dancer. But I will say that those moves looked extremely rudimentary. Not good at all. Borderline line dancing. I mean, basically the choreographer was like, okay, Ice, you're gonna shake your head

back and then put your hand to the right. And he was like, if you write it down, I could do that. But I disagree. I do think I said some good moves. Why? I think you were talking about it. I think it's not about vanilla ice this whole thing. It's not, his dance moves are not about. They are elementary, but it's in the, it's like a very

stepping. I can't believe you're doing that. I think it's the biggest thing that. I like June's dancing there. Never have the people listening to this podcast been like, what are they doing? More so than now. I will say Adam, I don't think you could do those,

I'm so sorry to do this to you. I don't think you could do those moves like I just was doing. Oh, I will play. I will play. I will play. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait I'll hit it! Wait, wait, wait. I want to, let me give you the backing track. Let me give you the backing track.

And it's like these, it's just like these. It's just like jumping back and forth. I don't know. Are we gonna have it? Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. I think there would be a look like ice doing them.

Yeah, I look a million times better. It's the cream machine. Gonna rock that. Well, I was gonna do it in the back and track, but it took some time. It doesn't matter. They just saw it for real. And it was great.

And basically, just, I mean, and we've all seen this happen, you know, when a club kind of has a great night, the Daily News slaps the headline on the paper the next day. Ninja Rap is born with all the Ninja Turtles on the front. And you know, because you know, whatever happens in the clubs, kind of gets, you know, it gets the front page treatment if it's big. Oh yeah. The Daily News has their finger on the pulse of new rap music.

By the way, the top story is Doc demolished. That's gonna be the top. We don't need to get into a major landmark getting demolished. Let's get into the Ninja Rap. Also, where's the fucking pun? The Daily News. That would be the Daily News. Where's like God damn pun.

I guess Ninja Rap born, foot dead. I would, I would have the daily news. We're like, God damn pun. I guess so. Ninja rap born, foot dead. I would, I would have done with that. I could have. Well, let's get into the audience here, because obviously there's things that maybe we didn't get a chance to bring up. All right. If you were underneath that thing, you

got to stand in the line and I'll come to you. All right. Well, you have papers out. You have papers out. Titled notes, and you have your cell phone out. Oh, boy. Oh, it just says notes. He basically has notes, and it just says notes, notes, notes, notes, notes, notes, notes, notes, notes, notes, notes, notes, notes. But it's got it on his phone.

But this is, all right. He brought his own props, prop comedy, in the house. I am going to say right now, you should sit down. We're gonna let you ask your question, is this going to be worth it? All right, I'm gonna put you really on the spot. What would your daily news headline be? Oh boy.

No, it's impossible. Really hard, it's really hard. That's a really hard one. That's a really hard one. I took four years of UCB and I can't do that. Okay. All right, here you go. What's your question?

First off, I saw this when I was seven years old in the theaters. I lost my shit for an interrap then and I lost my shit now and I was sitting here. I just wanted to say that the voice of splinter Who is taking care of four teenage boys who are not his own is Kevin clash the voice of Elmo Yes, that is right. Yes That is true a sobering fact that is true. That's super racist now. Oh, and he brought the DVD. Do you have a question you just want to show? Oh, you're here.

You are both shows. I've seen you rallying your fists multiple times. All right. Sweet shorts. By the way, they have anchors on them. By the way, if you come up with a daily news title, I'm gonna let you ask a question. But you...

If you're coming to the late show, where's the fucking pants? There's only one guy that's like, you know what? Respect yourself. Respect yourself. Yeah. I don't need to see your bare legs. You two, guy. I don't need to see your goddamn legs.

They are nice legs. All right, here we go. Your question. All right, oh, it's long. Compact that. OK. Compact that like pants to shorts. OK.

All right. So Ninja 1 movie ends with shredder compacted into. I gotta tell you gotta get to the point. You gotta get to the point. Here we go. Lift knowing it. So what New York City policeman leaves a criminal mess of mine from the first movie 10 minutes later?

Guy, I'm here, I'm here waiting, wait a minute, is that your girlfriend next to you, sitting next to you, are you with him? No, she says no. So I just want to make sure you're sitting alone. Okay, fair enough. Please continue talking about the Ninja Turtles. She says no. So I just want to make sure you're sitting alone. OK, fair enough. Please continue talking about the Ninja Turtles. Can I help break it down?

Because I think what you're saying is, they don't do a good job of disposing of the body. Even in this shredder. Oh, shredder. You have shredder. He falls off the dock and they're like, oh, he's dead. No one does any body check. True.

They don't put him away. I know I haven't seen the other ninja movies that came out after this Well, there's only one one before and one after and one after well, that's the Michael Bay one which reinvents it Sorry, sorry. Paul, get back up here, they're gonna kill you! Alright, that was this question, and it was great. Paul, hurry up, these white people are gonna kill you! I know. Alright, do you have a New York Post headline?

Yes, I do. Alright, nothing happens because Ninja's should be secret. Yes. Oh, good, alright, great. Your question, you have pages of notes. Nothing happens because ninjas should be secret. Yes. Ooh. Good. All right, great. Your question of pages of notes. All right, so if we decide that there is actually no story in this movie, could this actually be a story

about two single fathers trying to raise their children in New York City? Yeah. Wow. Like my two dads, old reference, Paul Ryzen. You're right. Shredder and splinter have a lot in common. They have these unruly ninja children.

I get that, that's good. This guy tweeted at our count and he said, how could, well, I'm gonna bring him up in a second. I said, he goes, how can I be guaranteed to be picked for the show? And I said, you have to make a sign. This is best question ever with an arrow pointing down to your head.

Now I was hoping it would be a big ass sign. Can I ask you a question? Can you look at the girl next to him? Oh, yeah, I see her. Powering. You mean like that, bridging? Covering her. Look, cover on camera.

Amazing. I didn't even know we had that technology. I didn't know we had that capability. This is like the video musical. I know. I want, listen, I know this guy has a question. I only want to talk to you. Why are you so afraid of this question?

I have so much anxiety. Now, can I ask you a personal question? Did you marry this gentleman? No. OK. What? Tough no. No, can I ask you a personal question? Did you marry this gentleman? No! Okay. What? Tough no. It is your relation status.

What is the status of this relationship? We're together. Oh, God. Got it. Got it. I'm owning up to him. She is owning up to him. Every dude in this audience, she's just like,

I'm my way to steal your girl. I have to say, you should be proud of him, because he didn't make a giant sign like I requested. You had a very small sign that just flashed me, that just his best question, and it points down. So you were convinced you had the best question. I'm not going to put you on the spot about the day I was sent.

I do. You have it? I hope he turns to her. Are you, are you married? I'm going gonna put you on the spot about the dance. I do. I'm not gonna put you on the spot about the dance. I do. I do. Do you have it? I hope he turns to her. Are you married? I'm gonna hold him.

I'm gonna hold him. I'm gonna hold him. I'm gonna hold him. I'm gonna hold him. I'm gonna hold him. She's giving Jason the grah. Oh my God, that's what it is. That's what it is.

That's what it is. That's what it is. Oh my God, that's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it isn't. Here we go.

He's like he can't live up to the question now. No. Did you not go? I'm gonna hold the mic. Have you ever seen this show? I got it. The man that voices Toka and Razor. And this means this.

Oh, I can't believe we're really doing this. Yes, go, go. We're getting into it. I love it. Yes. He has nine other, how did this get made credits to his name? List them. He is credited as the Anaconda in the movie Anaconda.

Great. What else? He's credited as Godzilla in Roland, Amrix, Godzilla. Keep going. He's LL Cool J's parrot in Super Mario Bros. Keep going! Goro and Shao Khan in Mortal Kombat. Ooh!

Bunny the dog and Hudson Hawk, which fuck yeah, bro. Bruce Willis shoots out of the window. Yep. And he's Asriel and the Smurfs, the movie that we do not speak of. Great! Wow! Great question.

Merry that dude. Merry that dude. Merry that. Merry that dude. Merry him. Merry him. Merry him. Merry him.

Merry him. Merry him. Do you have anything you want to say to your person in a relationship? No. All right. All right. I am gonna do something.

Oh, oh, bro, you are getting late tonight. You know, get it out. No, no. She's gonna be like, oh, remember when you said that thing about Yoshi? And oh, I want to give you my body! June, as a woman, if you are with a man who came up with a question like that, what would you- I feel like I am with a man.

I don't think it's good. Jooooood! Jooooood! I like that the fans here treat you like the running back of the green bay packers. I'm going to do something that I always wish that they would do, which is I'm going to take the person the way back of that line. You're going to gonna come up, you're gonna get the ass of a cushion. Yeah! There we go. Win one for the underdog, you better not.

From the back to the front, let's do it up, dude. Okay, handle bar mustache, okay. He's rocking the beer, too, it's just not solo. Okay, here we go, what's your question? I can't compete with any of that. I just wanna know, what is the deal with the Bart Simpson glass? That has to be...

Oh, yeah. I noticed that. Shot. Drink out of a Bart Simpson glass. I guess it's just to kind of be like, Hey, we're cool. We're contemporary. Yeah. No, but...

Tell a bugger. These people want to talk to them. They know why. Oh, yes. Okay. I'm going to go back to you. Okay. Come forward to me because we're getting it. Yeah. It's because they both share the catchphrase cowabunga Okay, okay, so they just they both share the catchphrase they both well, I guess they both use it and a Both they both popularized it in different arenas now. Let me ask you this because I feel like the nerds are gonna know who did it first?

Simpsons sim know who did it first. Simpson. Simpson did it. Simpson. Why are you yelling? I'm right next to you with a microphone. There's like, Simpson did it. The microphone is inch away from his name.

Simpson first. Here we go. What's your question? Oh, I love when they have paper. I know. All right. Uh, I gotta say this. Uh, April Niel goes, oh, what is Splinter doing on the roof?

Oh, that's right. Oh, I love it. This is a great line. I feel like only women agree with this. No, this line is amazing. And I wrote it down. Here we go. It got me.

It got me. So I will give you the April O'Neil line and you do this plenture line, okay, ready? Or do you want me to do, okay, here, you do the April O'Neil line, I'll do this plenture line. Ready? What's he doing on the roof? Coming. Oh yeah, to a conclusion.

Yeah. Oh, that was St. Andrew. Yeah, that was like a dream. Where am I? Where am I? Oh, that was St. Andrew. Thank you. Yeah, that was St. Ann. Yeah, that was like, where are my women out here? I need some women questions. Come here. Come on, all right.

You come over here. So excited. Oh, you got notes too. Okay. Here you go. What is your question? My question is, so clearly the overarching theme of this is environmentalism.

Clearly. And keep it clean, keep it green. If it were made today, what would the overarching, politically topical theme be? And who would the musical guest be? Who makes a teenage organ? Wait, an organ ninja organ. You know the teenage mutant ninja turtles too is currently being made right? The original second one got it all right well that I mean the musical guest it could be anywhere from

Igezelia To Taylor Swift. I think that's where we're probably Taylor Swift would never involve herself with You know, you know, never stupid garbage never involve herself. She would never involve herself with Ninja Turtles. You don't think that was stupid for such garbage. Never involve herself. She would never. Yeah. Everyone agree with that?

Taylor is classy. Yeah. She is. I tell you what, Feral would definitely write a song for. Oh yeah. Feral, Feral. Because it's pizza time. Pizza time. All right, good question. Oh, pizza time. Pizza time.

All right, question. And I think the theme would stay the same. Yes, environmentalism. Yeah, we haven't changed. We have a notice that the font for TGI. You guys, we can't, I'm sorry, go ahead. The font for that company just looked like it was made out of masking tape.

LAUGHTER Props weren't great. I do have a theory about the movie before I take another question about. I think they were trying to make this a movie about Kino because with five minutes left in the movie, he's inexplicably training with Splinter. He's like, I got to help my friends. It's like it's exactly the moment from Empire Strikes Back, but with no lead up. It really is this out of the blue. It's like, oh, that's happening.

And then he goes and helps his friends, and you prove to be successful. Why are Kino and splinter sitting out the fight? Splinter doesn't do splits. Yeah, he meditates on it. I guess so. That's a bummer though. Yeah, you want that Yoda moment

where he comes down and fights. Yeah. And kicks ass like Yoda does. All right, your question. Do you have a daily news headline? Okay, oh, why you do that? Daily news headline, the secret of the oops. Yeah!

Oh, great. I like it. All right. I would have taken the secret of the Jew. I would have taken the secret of the June. I would have taken the secret of the booze. All right, here we go. What's your question? OK, my question is, as an animal sympathizer,

where did they get the wolf in the snapping turtle in the middle of New York City, and then after they are returned to animal form, baby animal form, what happens to them? It wasn't an adult? It's a wolf. It's a wolf, okay. Yeah, June, speak to that.

I don't know. I was very disturbed by that story. What did you say? I was very upset by the way they treated animals in this movie. Because the first time it was an accident. Yeah. Now June, do you feel for animals in movies a lot? Do you feel bad for animals when they're in movies?

Do you think the snapping turtle got a good credit? I should hope so. I do find it odd that the original writer, I know that bebop, or whichever one was a snapping turtle, is a long time ago. But the idea to put a snapping turtle when the heroes are already turtles. I wonder that as well. It's so confusing.

It's like, he just seems to be more aggressive, but snapping turtles don't, like he had horns and stuff. If it wouldn't, he'd be an ally of the turtle. Yeah, like, and if anything, there's a billion animals. They could have picked anything. Yep. Well, like, bebop and rocksteady were like a warthog and a what? Right, yeah.

Those are intimidating. Also, what is this guy's point? What is Yoshi? A turtle, right? A dragon. Oh, he's a dragon. OK, forget it. Just, you know what nerds?

Relax. Hey, if you want him to shut up, just say 9-11. I asked this question on our last show. I'll ask it again. Who thinks they have the best question? A question we've not? This guy. All right, I appreciate, by the way, you not raising your hands.

I'm going to let you say it. I was like, fuck it, not man. That guy can't get you. Fuck it. Where'd he go? All right, sorry. You took his question. You got to let no, man. Fuck it, you did all. Where'd it go? All right, sorry, you took this question. You gotta let him punch you. What?

I have another one that. My backup follow up to that is if the trogo and razor or whatever can break metal and they can destroy an entire city block, how come they can't push down that cardboard thing they're stuck in? Good question. Good question.

Good question. They're just babies at that point. Sir, who had the best question? You said you had the bad... Wait, did you already ask a question or no? No, I haven't. You address the nicest you get to ask the question. Thank you.

Where's a blazer to how did this get made? He gets it, shorts. He gets it. I bet. I bet that he may even have it nearly in the future. This guy too. By the way, I've been looking at this guy's legs all night, not a fan. What is it about New York that like as soon as a drop it like turns above 60, some dudes just like, now it's shorts. You know what? From now on, bro, shorts and flip flops. I've been locked.

My Sequoia trunks have been locked up all winter. Soon as the kids 60, I'm gonna let these fuckers breathe. Yeah, bro. All right, here we go, dude. I'm gonna have some way feet, and I'm gonna get into bed. And I'm gonna go out in public. We're all the shorts you want, New York.

Do not wear those fucking sandals. Don't want to see sales. Guess what? I don't want to see New York. You're fucking feet. Never, never. I'm taking it further. I don't want to see the bottom of your body.

All right, here you go. What's your question? I mean, so both in this movie and the better movie, isn't it incredibly problematic that the turtles are attracted to female humans, like at like April O'Neill or the swimsuit model that's on the wall from Michelangelo. Like that seems really problematic and shouldn't that scientist go in?

Hey man, are you saying that they shouldn't be turned on by other species? They should only be turned on by other species. They should only be turned on. Man, what a heart. Hardcore. Wow, wow, wow. Drawing the lines, huh? What's the matter?

You never seen a dog get off on someone's leg? No, yeah, these turtles. Hey, guys, the guy's wearing a blazer. He's uptight. He can't handle inter interspecies relations. Ladies can take a turtle dick. Yep. How do you know that?

You know that. How do you know that, Paul? I've seen videos. Paul? Let's see your search history. Turtle dick, reporter. April O'Neal and Michael Angelo fanfic. I mean, that does bring up a good point that the turtles probably have the craziest

fuck-fick picks. There's definitely April O'Neill buccacchi picks. I'm certain based only on some of the insanity that has happened in this room tonight, that there is super fucked up teenage mutant and interturtles fan fiction. They're definitely. I'm certain there is. Yeah, like splinter is.

Yeah, splinter is. No, double teaming. It's all too, double teaming. I'm gonna go to this guy who has no chance that all to ask questions. He's in the second floor, not making any issue to get down, but he is raising his hand, sir. All right, I'm going to repeat your question.

You say it to me. OK, so one seat, that's where, that's where it's calling April O'Neill. He has a phone under his arm. Yes. Good point. Donna Tello calls April O' and you with an old school, not a telephone, but like a pay phone under his arm

that is not attached to anything. Well, it's when they're in the subway to the new house. So we're presuming that the phone lines are still working. Are we done taking questions? Those people can go away. Get out of here. Get out of here. Sit. Get out of here. Sit, go back to your seats.

You, animals. You filthy animals. I'm not going to be ready. Yeah. I'm going to be your pet, I'm going to explode again. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. What is it?

What is it? Engine math, I'm going to explode again. The headline was, I'm going to be it. No, let's not honor this. Let's not honor this. Let's not honor this. Yeah, I'm not gonna repeat it. We hate you. We hate you.

I don't understand why that would've been coming to play. Hey everybody, that guy caused 9-11. We hate you, thank you for coming to our podcast. Obviously we hadn't opinion about this movie, but there are other people out there that might disagree with us. We hate you. Thank you for coming to our podcast. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha from Amazon, here we go. For the first time ever, a five-star review comes in the form of an emoji. It is just simply a thumbs up and a pause. Five stars. My son wrote that review. Another one written by Michelle Edwardson. It was a very well written PG movie.

Five stars. From Andrea Taylor, and this is the best, Andrea Taylor quotes, spiritual encourager. With that's her profile name? Yep. Spiritual encourager. Jun, you're in touch with all of this stuff. What does that mean?

No idea. My goddaughter found an educational and a kept her attention. How so? Better than some of that other foolishness on the TV. Five stars. Now I have a godfather, and if I'm being watched by him, some shit went down. Some effect that he's saying that it kept the god's

daughter's attention. But that's what you're doing with your son. Yeah, but... That's your directly related. Yes, but I'm blood But I'm his only caretaker fair enough fair enough, but some shit has gone down Well, but I'm the most a person is Okay great movie however the script is a week at sometimes

However to however is back-to-back. The writer slash director scored an A-plus in my book when they cast Vanilla Ice as the dance club singer. Oh, come on. The Ice Man strapped a weak script to his back and carried the movie to an extraordinary success. Ha, what? How?

He's in one scene. The Ninja Wrap is definitely on par with MC Ambers. You can't touch this. And Sir Mixelots put him on the glass. By this movie. Written by Vanilla Ice. What is it that he wants them to put on the glass? Sir Mixelot.

Yeah, put it. Put, um, now put them on the glass. Anybody? Think it's ass. Here's what I will say before we use. But there is only, that's it. That's very few five-star reviews. Yeah, there were a lot of them were facetious.

Oh. Um. I want to... A lot of them were, how did this get made, fans? Hoping to be chosen in a future live episode. I felt like this is worthy to talk about and show. So this movie's for, um, launch this. And so this is the live stage show that followed this film called the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles out of her shell tour and just take a little listen and you'll watch with us here. 4, 2, 1, 2, 3! Come on everybody sing it with me out of my shell

We're coming out of my shell Once we can start you knew that we're starting We're learning the music we're finding the chord Yeah, okay, you can practice it, we're staying on the ground We're singing in the sewer, it's a wonderful sound I've been away because I'm out of your favorite character, you're gonna sing a song in a second Yeah, I was there, you're coming all the way to the shore That's the performing of Tom of radio to the musical. So that is, sorry, I thought Sponger did a song.

I missed that. Pizza Hut firmly involved. Oh, that is a turn. That's depressing. And they basically tore essentially around the fact that they don't have to wear their shells, because they're literally out of their shells. There are no shells. They're just wearing jean jackets and, uh, band-ass.

We wear jean vests. That was really, really upsetting. Really upsetting. Yeah, it's nuts. He has it on VHS, the man, yo. Not something you should brag about Ma'am in the Forth Row would you like to marry that guy?

I don't want to marry either of them Anything that we didn't bring up that we're worthy of mentioning How old is he? How old is he? You 17. You 17. Guys, this is your chance to take a picture. Well, you take a picture.

We will plug. Adam, what do people have to look forward to for you right now? They can follow you on Twitter. You follow me on Twitter at Adam Pally. And that's pretty great. That's good for me. June, would you like to? I'd love to plug a Netflix series that I'm on called Grayson Frankie, which is streaming right now.

You can follow June on Twitter at Miss June Diane. Jason, when the people can follow you on Twitter, right? Yeah, sure, obviously, you can follow me on my Twitter. And you're pretty active on there, right? Very active on Twitter. And you're also right now you're doing some paroscoping? Yup, I'm Miracading, my fucking face off. I'm paroscoping, and I'm on Snapchat.

And you're on Snapchat, right? So if you want to see a picture of my dick, just hit me up on Snapchat. Cheers. I would, anything else, do you like to promote? Besides all your social media? No, not really. I would like to promote my new web series,

Sheer R.L., which is, thank you. Recreations of TRL with people like Terry Cruz playing Diddy, Casey Wilson playing Selene Dion, Randall Park and Joe LaTrullio as Eminem and Mark Wahlberg. So definitely check that out on Buh on YouTube. It's easy to find. And you can follow our show at HDGM on Twitter. And if you have any problems with this show and any corrections and omissions and you're listening, you didn't get a chance to get up here today.

You can leave it on the forum and we read it in the mini episode, yes. And we should say, at this table out here are under cover posters. Yes. Go and buy one, buy two, buy three look at. These people have them. Don't want to bring them back to the play.

Don't want to carry them home. They're very happy. So buy them all please. Big thanks to Nick Kylie.. They're very heavy. Please play them all please. A big thanks to Nick Kylie. It does all the returns. Avril Hallyu, he goes it all the time. Dog up in the boot.

Everybody here at Irving Plaza. Thank you guys so much. Thank you to York. We proud, babe. There you go. Thank you. Good night. I'm back.

You're the Annaviel. Jason Madzogas. Give it up for all of them during a purchase stage. We're nervous. How is this going to be? you