How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: The Knight Before Christmas (w/ Jessica St. Clair)

Episode Date: December 23, 2024

Grab your Old Crones and Crones In Training because Paul, June, Jason and Jessica St. Clair (The Deep Dive) break down the Netflix Christmas classic, The Knight Before Christmas, starring Vanessa Hudgens. They explore the Netflix Christmas Cinematic Universe, Incognito Mode, and the source of Jessica’s ‘tech issues’ is revealed. (Originally Released 12/23/2021) Tix for our Spring 2025 tour in Austin, Denver, Seattle, Boise, San Fran, Portland, & Los Angeles are on sale now at hdtgm.com.Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of TraumaFor extra content on Matinee Monday movies, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerTalk bad movies on the HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul’s movie recs on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out new HDTGM movie merch over at teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmPaul and Rob Huebel stream live on Twitch every Thursday 8-10pm EST: www.twitch.tv/friendzoneLike good movies too? Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastWhere to find Paul, June, & Jason:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on social mediaGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm.

Siri, what lit AF Christmas movie did we just watch? You saw A Night Before Christmas, so you know what that means. Now it's time for How Did This Get Paid? Gonna have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be a hater, cause you know you're one that had a discorpate. Let's blow in the mediocrity of subpar art, perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made?

Yes! Hello, people of virtual Earth, and welcome to a How Did This Get Made? live show coming at you wherever you are, in your living rooms, in your houses, in your ears. We are so excited that you have stayed up late with us, or you're at the right time. I don't know where you are, but we so excited that you have stayed up late with us or you're at the right time. I don't know where you are, but we are excited that you are here because we are talking about a Netflix film that really made some people very angry at us. And other people said,

I don't know how you could talk badly about this movie. It made me cry. It is the 2019 film A Night Before Christmas starring Vanessa Hudgens and this is part of the, we'll get into this, part of the Netflix CCMU, the Christmas cinematic universe. I guess the M is not necessary. Anyway, what do you need to know about this? Well, it's kind of like Elf. It's kind of like Splash. A knight from medieval times comes to Ohio to woo a college teacher who looks like a high school student and you know what? Good things happen. It all has to happen around Christmas. There's a lot of questions about why any of this stuff happens.

We're gonna get into it all. And we have an amazing panel because when we do Christmas movies, we actually bring on one of our favorite extra special guests. We'll bring her out in a second, but please welcome my cohost, Mr. Jason Manzoukas. Boom!

What's up jerks? Ha ha! Jason, Jason, Jason. Boy, we really did it, didn't we? We really, we really did it. We, we really have really plumbed the depths of where these Christmas movies have gone. Here's what I'm going to say. I have, I'm coming in hot with the hottest of takes. Paul?

Yes. Audience? I love this movie. Wow. I loved this movie. Kaboom! Huge reveal! Right out of the gate, he is just laying down

Just takes. Hard-told facts. I've got takes for days, guys. I've got notes. I've got takes for days. Vanessa Hudgens, yes. British guy, why not? But guys, let them fuck.

Please let them fuck. Why are we letting any of these people fuck? I'm genuinely nervous. new Christmas movies are so Puritanical it's wired. I know I What if you what if all of this buildup all of this story all of this mystery and it's like bad sex What do you do? It's over, baby It looks see you later and meanwhile if it's bad sex, this motherfucker's trapped in the in 500 years or whatever.

When is he from? I don't like 1300. I think this guy's fucked. This guy's stone cold. By the way, this guy doesn't have a Social Security number. How does he survive? All these characters are coming here spending money willy nilly. I'm going to say something to you, Jason, that I thought was interesting about this as well.

Isn't this the not having sex is not part of the buildup of Christmas. Like what's in the box? What am I going to get for Christmas? It's the excitement of opening. Are you saying what's in the box? Like seven? Like, like the box. Do you think the end of seven that Gwyneth Paltrow's head in the box is a Christmas present? It's romantic, right? You might want to look into that. You should rewatch that movie. Do you think the end of Seven, that Gwyneth Paltrow's head in the box is a Christmas present? Yeah, it's romantic, right?

I thought it was a... You might want to look into that. You should re-watch that movie. I thought Kevin Spacey was Secret Santa and that was his gift to Brad Pitt's character. Also, I don't mean to correct you straight out of the gate, Paul, but there is absolutely no way that Vanessa Hudgens is a college professor, which is what you said earlier. Sorry, you know, she's a high school. Those kids are kids.

Those are little kids. I thought she was a college, but you're right. You know, the campus looks so advanced that I assume this. So we'll get into all that. But please welcome a co-host who's going to have so much to say that I know is going to be against what Jason has already stated about this film. Please welcome June Diane Rayfield.

Welcome June. Hi, hi everyone. Hi Jason, hi Paul. Hello June. You know, I'm shocked at what I've heard so far. I've heard this movie as Paul knows, under the best circumstances. What is that?

Tuck away in my sauna bed. Sweating my little A off losing water away. Oh, losing water weight by the minute and feeling great. And I you know that honestly, it's the best watching movies that way is the best for me because I can't like look at my phone a lot of times I get really distracted during movies. I have to think to myself like to and watch, watch the scenes, but it's hard. But by the way, I see you nary with,

never with a phone out when you were watching like a documentary or anything like that. If someone's been murdered and you're watching like, yeah, that phone is off to the side. Yes, but when we're watching the How This Could Be movies, my mind tends to wander. You are deep in the TikToks. Yes, being in the sauna bed, I have to lie with both hands trapped

like a little burrito. I've never seen her. This sounds awful. I don't wanna see it. I've never seen her in, and I respect my wife too much to see her in the sauna bed. Thank you. I wanna bring in someone who probably can help us And I respect my wife too much to see her in the sauna bed. Thank you.

I want to bring in someone who probably can help us find what is right about this, because she's a person who enjoys a coconut from one of those roadside coconut stands. She's a person who likes to eat the clams that are closed. She's a person who's an expert on Christmas movies and a hater of trashcan fires. Please welcome Jessica Sinclair. Where is she? Hello. There she is.

There she is. It's Madison. Madison, back in the luxury. Cans. Cans. Yeah. Now, just a bone to pick. I actually charged up my wireless headphones

and then were called by Paul. I couldn't use them. Hold on now. You all can, but I have to wear these. I was by Paul. I couldn't use them. Oh, hold on. Now it was only told to wear these. I was only telling you you couldn't wear them because we were doing your microphone in it. So it sounded like you were talking into a tin can. What's the difference? Jessica, we're a few months into this quarantine. If you haven't figured that out by now, I don't know what to tell you.

We were in the tech for 30 minutes. You could have figured it out by now. I don't know what to tell you. We were in the tech for 30 minutes. You could have figured it out. What is going on? I'm trying to heat up one of my new hot tools. You're the one that said- But now it's ruined. You're the one that said, I look best in cans.

I'm wearing the cans. You said the cans are part of me and I am the part of the can. God damn it. You said, I am cans. Hear me roar. Couple things, couple things. I have heard you talk about that same passenger

Jason who went into the bathroom without her shoes on socks on like multiple times. So we need to recycle. We got to get a new story like they air filter now. Like they filter the air so it's new on these planes. I need a new story. You know what? I'm not telling stories for you. You're my friend. There's thousands of stories.

I heard it on the air. I heard it on the air. And the other thing, if anything's going to touch that ground, honestly, I'd prefer it was feet because I feel like that skin is really rough and like not absorbed a lot through your feet. You're not like getting pretty much like skin socks. That's right. So now you guys are advocating

instead of wearing socks into the bathroom, just wear bare feet. Just put on your skin socks. Put on your skin socks. That's gonna be one of our promos. I would have asked for two plastic bags. I would have tied them around my feet and I would have gone into the bathroom like that.

All I'm telling you is I don't want you talking about this on a first date. If you ever see another human being again, because it's not a good story. I wanted to I want to talk. I want to talk about a couple of things here, because last week, some people said, hey, are they ever going to talk about the movie? Well, what I was going to say, Paul, I'm sorry to interrupt. What I was going to say is I watched this movie and in the best conditions possible for me. I'm alone and sweating profusely and I didn't enjoy it

at all. I thought it was really quite terrible. And I loved every single minute every single second of it. And I knew that Jason was gonna love it. Sometimes we're on opposite sides. But sometimes we intersect. Wow. Don't think that ham gesture ever again. Sometimes I care and I are just scissoring ourselves into loving a romance.

I will say I had some problem. I had, I have, listen, I've got notes. I've got lots of notes. Of course I have notes. As a woman, I found- Mr. Wipe-Eyed, good found I found the night to be so unappealing Curls were too defined So June you didn't like the curls I will

There was something about his look that felt very present. I don't like when it looks like a man is like one color, you know, where you cannot see any definition. And I just I didn't do it for me. I thought Vanessa, Hodgkin's was, Hudgins, Hudgins was wonderful. It was one likeons was wonderful. Like she was a discover. I mean, I loved her in Spring Breakers. I've never seen the high school musical.

Great. Like on all, I also feel like she brings an energy that is like a little bit more like she, like we talked about how these movies are a little bit puritanical. Like I feel like she's down to bone, right? Like there's an energy. When she gives him that like sideways look

when he's like fresh from the shower, she's like hungry for it. You know, which is why I was like, let's go there. Let's let them go there. They won't, not in a Christmas movie. Is she currently, because I didn't have time, because I finished it right before we get on, is she currently in a relationship

and was she actually boning that guy? Because I thought their chemistry was off the charts. Well, let me tell you what Nate Kiley found this out. And I thought this was a great little factoid. Nate Kiley does so much hard work when we have to sign him movies that no one is talking about, like this one. And he found out, he goes,

the studio, Netflix, wanted to really get their chemistry going. So they they booked them a trip for a week away together where they could actually bond. But at the last minute, Vanessa Hudgens couldn't make it. So he just went by himself. Why aren't we getting those type of roles where they're going to pay June and I to go away and try to like get into a tech avail. First of all, this is for this is for the Netflix people or the lifetime people or the Hallmark people, whoever's watching and whoever's going to finance the four of us into one of these. and whoever's gonna finance the four of us into one of these movies,

send us somewhere. Send me away. Send me away. We're gonna find, We're gonna dig into these characters. Yes. Just so you know, I mentioned this in the beginning of the show, Netflix has a Christmas cinematic universe.

All their Christmas movies exist in the same world. So for example, when the knight is watching TV, he is watching a Netflix movie. And then- I was gonna ask that with Kristen Davis. Kristen Davis. Yes. And then when Vanessa Hudgens-

Very weird. When Vanessa Hudgens talks about this ornament that her parents gave her, that is from another Vanessa Hudgens Christmas movie. Okay, but wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. That doesn't make sense. So they don't exist in the same universe. Vanessa Hudgens' character movie. Okay, but wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. That doesn't make sense. So they don't exist in the same universe. Vanessa Hudgens' character

can't find Kristin Davis' character. They just live in a world in which Lifetime movies, or Netflix or Lifetime movies exist. Well, but here, yes and no. Is this quantum physics? It's not like she's two towns over from Kristin Davis, right? Well, so Kristin Davis- can I just say that Christmas

Village looked a lot like the Christmas Village that Melissa Joan Hart went to as well. But it looked better. That's not better. But by the way, better hair and makeup. I mean, better sure. Personally, I liked it probably more because it looked better. It was obviously like dressed better, like it had a little bit. And and I will say I thought she was dynamite. But even love the sister, love the love the sister, love the sister,

love the sister, love those hoops. Who? But here's one. Is there faith? Is this underwritten by, is this a faith-based movie? It's not. She does a lot of movies. The other movie that she's famously in is a movie where she

plays dual roles. And they actually now just did a sequel to it where she plays three roles. I've seen it. What? There you go. Yeah. She basically works like there's a queen in a foreign country. That's where the ornament is from. And, and then there's like, like, I guess, like she works in the department store and they look alike and they go and they switch boyfriend. That's why when they are decorating the tree, the sister goes, it's from Belle Groviere or whatever. And I thought to myself, that's where That's why when they are decorating the tree,

the sister goes, it's from Belgrovia or whatever. And I thought to myself, that's where she lived. That's where the princess is in her other movie. Oh wow. As we were talking about this, why does the knight go from Norwich, England to Ohio? Like, and why is he completely, he is from the 1300s and is unfazed by time travel.

Oh, this dude is like, oh, I guess I'm here now. The crone sent me here. By the way, if you're drinking at home, if they hear the drinking games, the number of times we say crone or crone, the crone is talked about. I think you have to drink. Old crone.

When he is just grabbing older women and screaming crone in their face, really very funny. By the way, he also can read, which maybe I'm being a little bit, Wow, that's really taking it to the history books, Paul. I just don't feel like a knight is like able to read a regular diner menu. No, the monks were doing the writing.

Monks are doing the writing. Knights are not out there like looking at menus. Like, and I feel like he was. The problem I had with him, but the problem I had with him as a knight is like for me, there's, there's like a very like sexy British man, but then there's a British man that's too British. And he tipped over into too British. You think he's hashtag too British?

He was just too British for me. He didn't look dirty enough to me. He's like, everything in the symbol. Everything in the movie is. Well he should have been proper. I'm like, go have a cup of tea for me. Well, he should have been, please, don't start with tea. Cause I'm about to brew him.

I'm about to brew him. Jason, I want to let you know that there's been a lot of response about the tea and many a woman, many a woman has said they would love to be in bed drinking tea with you. There's a lot of librarians who listen to the show. A lot of women love your tea drinking. I hope they know he's going to be sipping some tea while he's taking a drop

in a big deuce while you're sitting on that. Why not? Okay, I want this on record. I do not eat or drink in the bathroom. I know you don't bring or drink in the bathroom. I will bring- I know you don't bring stuff up to the room. So many rules. Are you ready for those rules, Littany?

I'm gonna take one true. Are you ready for those rules, ladies? Put that to the, are you ready for some football song? Are you ready for some rules? I will say that the highest donation that we got, we actually, all four of us and more, played a charity, a game of Among Us, which was complete chaos and so much fun. And the highest donation was $1,500.

And it was from a woman who said that she wanted to drink tea with you. So that's it. So these people have a lot of money and a good taste. I love these librarians have that disposable income to just throw around. Speaking of civil servants and income, so she's a teacher at a high school. Yeah, she's a teacher at like a local high school. Not a college as Paul said. It was not a community college.

By the way, she looks like she could also be in high school. Like she looks no different than the high school musical. I had a moment. I saw it. I don't know if I let these people age. I had a moment where I was like, I can't believe that Vanessa Hudgens, who I conceive of as from, like, the Disney high school era, is now old enough to be one of the teachers.

But of course she is, because I'm 48. So 1,000 years have passed. By the way, she also, like, has, like, too many deep conversations with these kids. I mean, that first conversation, can I play that clip? Because it's such a crazy clip. I think it's I think it's clip two. Yeah, this is clip two where she by the way, she's 32 years old.

Hudgens, 32. I want to know what you look great. Thirty she's basically right. And I have to say, I'm always very sure. I'm going to what you look great. 30. She's great. And I have to say, on her back. Wow. She's awesome. Our birthday is 1214.

Just a couple of days ago. So she just happy birthday Vanessa Hudgens. We're sad. Aries together. Imagine it up. Sag it up. Okay, here we go. This is a deep, this is a deep conversation. We can talk about it.

Oh, here we go. Take a, take a look. Grayson broke up with me. I thought he was my one true love, my prince. But instead he turned out just to be a frog. There seems to almost be an epidemic of those types around here lately. You know, we all grow up fantasizing about being a princess and finding true love with a knight in shining armor and living in a dream.

Pause for one second. This is what this thing is. When we watch this, June turned to me and said, I didn't, never did. Never, not a once. What's amazing is she right here, and then maybe five minutes later, the the night both tell other characters the exact plot of this movie as if the audience is not able to follow it.

By the way, also people in the chat right now are like talk about the wig. I feel upset about that because it's a child but that wig is so disturbing. But I feel bad. I don't know, they did her dirty and I don't know. And it's actually not acceptable. Guys, I need everybody to stop for one second. If you look behind Vanessa Hudgens' shoulder

at the date that is on the blackboard. 2019? December 18th, 2019. Oh my god, it's one year ago today. Your birthday, this conversation was happening last year. Is this a candy man? On my birthday? What is happening? Are you gonna be transported back to 1333?

Am I gonna be magically transported into this movie to fall in love with Vanessa Hudgens? I mean, yes, please. Where's the Crone? Crone! Well, I want to talk about something that happened last night while we were watching the movie. And as I said, I watched most of it in a sauna bed, but I watched the first 15 minutes. No more. You watch, there's 40 minutes left and you say, I gotta go. I gotta go.

I gotta take this to the sweats. Sweat this one out. I gotta sweat this movie out of my pores. I really did, I did detox this movie. So I like look over at Paul, I just happened to look over and I said something and he was Googling it. And I see that he has Safari on his phone in incognito mode.

Ooh. Interesting. A lot of secrets with him. Incognito mode. And did you, did you pretend? What was it? All right, look, all right. You know what?

Sometimes I go on bagel and locks dot com, which is a really great and you mean when coffee meets bagel? What were you looking at? I didn't I didn't. OK, I don't even know your password to your phone. I mean, I guess I do, but I don't really. You can look at anything in my incognito mode.

I don't know why. You know, I think you can't because it disappears. You can say that after the fact. Oh, isn't that, isn't that the, you seem like you're willing to share, but of course, oh, but it's impossible. Maybe I was looking at miracle grow

and the other kind of. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Interesting. It is interesting, go. Mm-hmm. Here we go. Interesting. It is interesting, Jessica, and I just want it known. You were so upset that I had incognito mode on. I didn't even know. I've never heard of incognito mode.

Is that why you went to the con? By the way, what do you mean, you never heard of it? You literally looked over at my phone, you said, why is it on incognito mode? I didn't even know, it was so like. When a woman has almost been murdered by their own husband you have to get to know the ways that you would hide things here's the thing that's the first thing that the the private investigator or security

expert is going to tell you is clock everything he's doing on his phone and computer because that is gonna be the trail. Oh, so I should have said that. Yeah, that is gonna be the trail of how to, by the way, look around June for other phones. Oh, wow. Don't look in the toilet. Don't look in the toilet or his phone, baby. Don't look in the toilet. That's where he's hiding stuff in the toilet

because he knows you guys don't do bathroom stuff. But by the way, here's the thing that Juno is gonna say, like we'll joke around and Juno like, oh, I don't have a time to have an affair. I'm just too busy. Like that, there are only reasons he's too tired to have an affair. So that is-

I wish I had a little more energy. You know? We're trapped inside the home. I was saying that like, you can rest, you can go to sleep at night and rest your head because I just don't have the energy. Wow. Well, that you might frankly, people are making a movie about you two. What are these two falling in love? You might just be dehydrated. I might be.

I mean, listen, you you have a legitimate glow about you, but you you might be very severely dehydrated from the thought of it. Can I talk about this? Like, Vanessa Hudgens is a high school teacher who lives in off. I was gonna say, I think Max she's making I don't know $36,000 a year., $36,000 a year? Her parents are dead, guys. They left it to her. Her parents are dead, both of them died. That's her parents' house?

Yes! Okay, but what did they do? Can I ask you guys a question? Did anybody else notice that every single building in small town Ohio has castle-like stonework inside the house. Her house. Yeah. Every doorway has stone, archwork source. Look at that's her home. Wow. It's like straight up.

Adam family shit. They're trying to connect. I think they're trying to connect his castle in England to here. By the way, pause, what's that frame on the fridge? Just a still life? But by the way, this is the guest house. The guest house has two fucking doors. And the guest house is decorated for Christmas like hardcore.

Can I just say, I did like the costumes in this movie and I really loved Emanuel Chiqui. Chiqui, Chiqui, Chiqui, Chiqui. I loved Chiqui. I loved her costumes. Loved her look. I loved those bangs. We have some of the costumes.

With the exception, well, even whatever. I thought everybody's costumes frankly, were heads and shoulders above last week's, all of last week's outfits. Well, I mean Netflix brings things. Everybody seems, Why everybody seems cares, right? Everybody seemed like they were living in the real world,

I guess is more what it seemed like. Everybody seemed like they were dressed for reality, not like some weird thing, you know? It felt like these people had been lit and showed up onto a set as opposed to a home video shot. You know, even when we're going up. Probably Amazon is paying for it. Amazon probably is like, hey, we'll give you more lights

if you just give us a couple more beauty shots of that Alexa, which the Alexa makes, the Alexa is like the fourth character in this movie. I mean, after manual, by the way, there was a fake Alexa in last week's movie. So like another, that's another trope now that we're seeing in all of these, like there, there's so much overlap because this, this movie also has small town bakery inside of the movie. You're right. Now let's look at some of these outfits here. I wanted to, we have a bunch of outfits. You guys can stop as we go, but this is like, oh guys, we can keep those.

Okay, I want to talk about the outfits for one second. Did anyone else know that Vanessa had seven coats? She definitely wore a different coat once a day. Every day. And I thought that the fur one was very medieval inspired. Thought was going into these things. Do you know what I'm saying? They're doing extra thought.

But I was like, a woman doesn't have that many coats to be rotating in and out. That's true. I mean, how many winter coats do you have? Even when you lived in New York, I maybe, maybe had two. Maybe two.

Here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. I'm not gonna begrudge her her coats. She's working hard for a living. Maybe she maybe the she's there's a Burlington Coat Factory and she got them at a good deal. I don't know. But like Ohio, Ohio, most women in Ohio have four to nine coats.

That is a that is a fact. You can look up in a farmer's almanac. Four to nine coats. They were two. I don't begrudge her. This is the Gilmore Girls of it all, right? Lorelei had no fewer than 41 coats. And I didn't begrudge her that because they were giving me a fantasy.

And that's what I want when I tune into a film like this. And that was what was delivered. The rule on Gilmore Girls, I know this, was the rule on Gilmore Girls, I know this, was the rule on Gilmore Girls was Lorelei has in her closet as many coats as Amy Sherman Palladino has hats. I have a lot. That's a lot.

A lot. By the end of the show, Lorelei had 4,000 coats. By the way, people in the chat are wondering, is this a crossover between Gilmore Girls? There was a lot of shared universe between this and Gilmore Girls Jason people were This felt very similar to last week the small townie elements felt very stars hollow So, you know, yeah, did you see this question on the screen? Or is this this movie mostly takes place in Bracebridge, Ohio

Any connection or correlation between this and Gilmore Girls is great Bracebridge Diner. Where's the Bracebridge, Ohio. Any connection or correlation between this and Gilmore Girls' Bracebridge Diner? Where's the Bracebridge Diner in in that's not Luke's obviously. I don't know what that might be a place that they order from but we never go to although I'm not sure. It happened in season two episode 10. Wow I gotta go I'm gonna dive in again. I didn't know that. So I mean, I'm legit curious. I did notice in this episode, this episode, Jesus, this, what are these things that we're watching, this movie and the last one that redheads seem to show up and, and you know, they show up and every time they show up on screen, I'm like, uh-oh. We get it.

In the lexicon of these movies, a redhead is dangerous. Trouble. Trouble. Redhead. And by the way, I will say that this redhead was a kindly redhead because when she does approach him at like that Christmas Eve dinner, she's a kindly redhead because she goes, approach him at like that Christmas Eve dinner, she's a kindly redhead because she goes, she really throws out the sex at him.

And when he feels like, hey, look, I got it taken. She's like, you know what? I know, but that's so funny because to me, to me, when I think of redheads, Jessica Zinclair, you'll appreciate this. I think of Anna Green Gables. You know, to me, a redhead is a woman who's been like, I mean, unless you're thinking about Jessica Rabbit, right?

Isn't she a redhead? Yeah, she's very, very sexy. I feel like they're my hover hand on her. The what? My hover hand on Jessica Rabbit. I don't know what three of those words are. Oh, I think I don't even know three of those words are. Oh, my God. My hub. Are we about to Are you about to go in? All right. So I just because you brought it up, I gotta see if I

can pull it up. But so when I went to pull it up, we're live. Please, when I went when I went to, Jessica Rabbit? Well, you know what? Now I don't even know if I'll be able to find it, but when I went to Orlando, Florida, to MGM Studios before it changed over to Hollywood Studios, they had a whole Roger Rabbit like area and they had like a standee with Jessica Rabbit. And I am there with my white socks pulled up

almost to my knees, my white pants, my Batman shirt. And, and I have my arm around the standee of Jessica Rabbit. But I have a hover hand because I don't want to touch her bottom. I don't want to put my hand too much around her waist and being respectful. I touch her bottom. God, that's the dirtiest thing you've ever said. Oh, my God. God, there it is. There it is. There I love. God, help us.

There it is. I do love you. Look at how respectful you're being. I do love this man. You're being so respectful of a standee. I do love this man. You look like you were about to hit the tennis courts in your tennis whites. What is this outfit?

Too cute. This is me and my dad just hanging out in Orlando, just doing it up. Oh, God. I love your dad so much. That is phenomenal. Can we talk a little bit about the crone and her hair? Because her hairstyle is a beachy wave when we encounter in the 1300s. Like literally, I would try to achieve that.

The crone has not been out in the jungle. Yeah, the crone has not been in the wilderness for too long. She looks great. She's wearing like a tablecloth. I would have put her in animal skins if it was me, if I was going to go period. Yes. And then, but I feel like the actress and June, tell me what you think. I feel like the actress who they cast was much like you and I, total bitchy, like I'm going to wear this hair. Like I am the Crone, but I'm going to look good. Yes, but crones can look good. And having to have that conversation with hair and makeup and wardrobe, and that's a tough conversation

to have. Here's what I'll say, though. Here's what I'll say. I feel like both the crone and the night, the crone and the night in olden times when we see them in olden time. They are just simply as we said earlier, too clean looking. That's a bit more rugged. When he lives in the forest, he should be covered in mud. And so

should he. You know, that's the problem with this whole movie. Everything looks like no one has ever lived in touch. And like, when they take out Vanessa Hudgens, his car, like when the night drives it, that car is okay. commercial that super for the other half of that movie. When she lets him drive, she is tacitly agreeing to be an accessory, an accessory to vehicular homicide. Yes. She does not know how to drive. I want to take it. She's, she's got a lot of issues, but she's hot for him. I want to just do a little compilation that Averyl,

our producer Averyl cut together of the old crone. Take a look at the old crone, the old crone talks. So get ready to drink because we're going to get a lot of old crones here. Crone. Begging your pop. Old crone. Begging your pop. You just look so sad. Buddy, can you maybe stop calling my wife an old crone? Can you stop calling my wife and old Chrome? Can you stop calling my wife? It is this movie had like actual funny jokes in it. I will say this movie had actual man.

Maybe it is maybe it is the juxtaposition of last week to this week just made me like this one more. But this this one had jokes that for me worked. And so like this runner of Crone, also Paul, do you have, and I don't know if you do, any of, there are multiple scenes in which the Knight and Vanessa Hudgens have some sort of interaction or whatever.

And the actual Crone is like in the background. Oh yeah. Just in the background checking it out. Just in the background, checking it out. Like straight into limbs, like. Oh, old, I bet. No, I was like. Look, I would have cast you, Jason. If you wanted to get a crone,

I would have cast you, like just covered in, in like a bear suit, you know what I mean? Lucas for crone. Let's do this. By the way, here's what I felt bad about. Here to take roles away from old women. That's what I'm here for. The woman who had to play not the old Krone

is the one I feel the worst for because I felt like she really got done dirty. Because she let herself, that's the point. She had under eye bags. Those can be concealed, but you gotta push it. The chat, the chat. You have to say, like, you have to be willing to say to hair and makeup and wardrobe,

like do you want the director to come down and hear from me? Do you want me to go out there unhappy? I'm gonna have to be on screen. You can say, I'm gonna act like an old crone. I'm gonna act it, I don't need to look like it. Yes, trust in my acting, okay? I don't need my wardrobe to be crone. I'm gonna act it. I don't need to look like it. Yes. My acting. Okay. I can bring my crony. Can we just show I know we've been very respectful of the makeup. But can we talk about this fucking Santa? Santa's the worst. The

worst. Where the curly hair is a problem. This hair here. As far as I'm concerned, Santa does not have curls, not my Santa. Here's my theory. Not my Santa. Never my Santa. Here's my theory. He was probably told to keep it down,

but he inched it up as fast as to give himself a fringe. Surrey with the fringe on top. He just f**ked up to the point where he couldn't. Cause that looks like it's all him. Why would you just put a little bit of bangs? Why have bangs? Why are you trying to be a sexy Santa when this is not about sexy Santa? It's about sexy nights.

Also, do you know how many people look like Santas in this world? It's got to be easy. They're everywhere. They're everywhere. You know, hanging out at that Village 24-7, like at one point he has a conversation with Vanessa Hudgens or the Knight, and then he's like he's like I gotta go Hey kids, where your list? It's like he's like a wandering Santa like what is that? Here's what I would have been into instead of him being like hey Will you stop calling my wife a crone if he would be like hey, I'm about to go to the crone zone

Percolating that one. Hey, what do we say? What do you say? We one? By the way. I've been percolating that one. You take this. Hey, what do we say? What do you say we take this to the crone zone? Can I ask the women? That's my next relationship. My next relationship just begins with that sentence. Go ahead, Paul. Let me ask the women a question here.

You're one year closer to the crone zone today, Jason. That's so true. I have noticed a couple of things here in these Christmas movies. And I would say a great Christmas movie like Elf has a similar thing. And I want to ask you both, and I'm very serious about this, do women want to fuck a complete child dummy? Like because I feel like, because it's like, look, an elf, like... Is that why you were searching in incognito mode? Yes. No, because it's like look an elf like is that when you were searching in incognito mode yes

no because it's like there's something funny it's like you have like you have uh zoe de chanel like women want to fuck small boy but it's like it's a weird it's a weird thing it's a weird thing remember big remember yes that's i'm saying it's a weird there's a weird thing where it's like women want a man who is me is definitely attractive, but they will like but his mind is childish elf. Big cracker. It's like why women were like Beatlemania was based on the premise of like these are safe boys that almost look like girls and so they're safe to us and so we can sort of

like young young teens can girls can explore their sexuality in the same with that's like the teeny bopper the original Justin Bieber. Yes, grown women I cannot I cannot claim. I cannot claim these women who who are you as future crones. I'm a crone in training. Have CITs. I would say crone in training might be the shirt. That's the shirt. Not crone in training.

Crone in training. Crone. I would say that we just do a series of crone based shirts. And then they would tell out. That part of him is not attractive to me, but what is and what consistently got me going on the downstairs. Oh, you're a grown ass crone.

But what did he do for me was anytime he was protecting her valor and for you know, for her honor. And he was like, I'm going to kill that guy. Like the fact that he was going to, like, put a sword through that piece of shit, who, by the way, seems to be stalking her everywhere she is. He's there. The X. Once again, once again, a grown man is allowed to wander a small town with a deadly weapon and be like, threaten people with it.

Threaten, he holds that sword to a man's throat and says, should I kill him? And people are like, no, you shouldn't, but you can keep the sword. Like this is a, to them, this is a mentally ill person. That cop should be arrested for public endangerment. Letting this guy leave with a sword? I know that we talked about this earlier,

but the idea that like, well, that was her parents' house. Or her dad was a cop in a small town, so he could afford a giant house. Also, like this cop was like, she's like, he's like, well, I mean, it's Ohio real estate. I guess Ohio real estate. So she says, I did look at Austin real estate one time in incognito and I was like, wow.

How can you move me to Austin with somebody incognito and I was like, wow. Somebody else. Wait, I'm sorry. Wait, somebody else. That's who we can I watch. I will not rest until June. I love my life. I love my wife and I'm so sad that she passed so young. This is weird. I just Googled that. And Austin real estate is a porn that's his name. Hmm. Yeah. Huh.

Only fans account that has only one subscriber. Honestly, I don't know. I don't know what you're doing. You know, and I'm fine for all of it to stay in Cognito. Like the last thing I want is for it to actually come to light. Like I keep it in Cognito. It's okay. How did this get me? How did this get me? All right, let me ask you this.

The Christmas tree lot, can anyone explain how the Christmas tree lot works? Is it a lot or is it a place where they've planted trees? People bring their own axes. Right. Okay. There are kids running around. People are chopping their own trees down

in the town inside the town. It feels like so they're just there's an area of town where they have like a forest of trees that every year can be cut into Christmas. It made zero sense. Yeah, my dad used to plant Christmas trees in our backyard. Oh, great. We do take years and years. Oh, yeah, to get to a certain height. Of course. That's why there are Christmas tree farms literally. Right, of course. So but all of those Christmas trees were full grown and seem to be in the spot that was like, Oh, this is where we sell them. It's almost like a place where the parking lot

where you go to buy to get a tree during Christmas. And it seemed like everyone was given an ax and no, it was like, it felt like a little bit of a novelty place. Like we'll give you the ax, you could go do it, but you don't have to actually go into the forest to do it. And like that one guy, like it felt like a little bit like you pay actually even more money to cut down a tree, but you're not really doing anything, I feel like that's okay. So that

should have been what it was. What it should have been is that the night misunderstood thought he was gonna have to cut the dress, took his sword out and started chopping at it. And Vanessa Hudgens should have been like, Oh, no, no, no, all we need to do is pick it out. It's already been cut down. Yeah, because he put it on the problem of the car without any problem. But that's not hot. He wax it and it goes down and then the other guy is like, Oh, I see how to do it. You got to do that. And then you are like, wait a minute. So by the logic of this, these are actual real trees that everybody in town. Yeah, so right. Yeah. After Christmas in the town center is just a barren area of stumps. And then they start planting again.

Yeah, that didn't make any sense. But they have to plant them years ahead of time, June. According to you, that's how you do it in Ohio. I don't know. By the way, look, they look, they fly planes low in Ohio, because at one point when they do that insert shot of like a plane overhead, you know how loud it would have been in that area of the plane flew overhead that low in Ohio like when he first cuts to

Somebody in the chat saying that he used miracle grow Will say another like last week another movie in which What's that? Oh, I thought you were gonna say the woman falls asleep and gets put to bed. Yeah, but yes, related to that, another story in which a young woman immediately brings a,

Stranger. What should appear to her, a stranger having a mental illness episode to live inside her house with her? Yeah, the cop is like, the cop that we would wait till he gets his memory back and she's like, I'll take him until he gets home. I'll just take him to my house.

Wait, make sure he has his sword. Does he still have his broadsword? Great, he can come to my house. What? It's sending a message that we should be concerned about to young women for sure for Crohn's sending the right message. You got to take whatever they

up on your door and your chrome and you gotta open the door up and let him in. and you gotta open the door up and let him in. And then watch the part where I do. Here's my pitch. Lifetime or Netflix or whoever, let us make a holiday movie about crones. What's the name of the crone zone? It's called the crone zone or it's called,

I don't know what it is yet. We haven't yet. The crones, which crones? They are suffering from crones disease. Oh, that's when it becomes fatter. Can I ask you both? Well, I know June's answer on this one, but just Dan. Don't speak for her.

Don't speak for her. I'm not speaking for her. I'm thinking, has Dan ever put you to bed? Has he ever carried you to bed? Never. First of all, it's a grown person. When I try to take my seven-year-old from my bed to hers, I, as a grown person, when I try to take my seven year old from my bed to hers, I can barely hold her.

So I mean, I don't know if you're very- I'm always asking Paul to pick me up because I do- I'd put you to bed. I'd put you to bed. I've always- You have? In what sense? I've put her to bed, I've helped her undress

and get her to bed and get her tucked in and everything. I have to hold me. Yeah, he has, he has. He hasn't lifted me up like a baby and brought me over. Wait, are you a cat? Are you, is it like when you fall asleep in the car, he comes around and picks you out of there and without waking you brings you into-

When we got married, when we got married I carried her over the threshold. Come on guys, I do it. That makes no sense, that's appropriate. That's like a tradition. Yes. Yes. And I did one time lock Paul out of our home and I found him unfortunately, that's so terrible.

I wish it was in the Pacifica though. I wish I had some more trouble. I had a panic attack. I woke up and it was seven in the morning, eight in the morning before before we had kids and he hadn't called, he hadn't texted. I did call him. I couldn't find my phone and I was panicked. I'm like, Paul, Paul, Paul, where is he? And there was a three bedroom apartment.

I can't find him. I can't find him. And then I see a series of texts that have come in and phone calls. And the last text said, I'm in the car. And I was sleeping in the outside and I Jason, I run outside to the driveway and you know, the Prius has that like slanted back. And I see that call share is so sleeping, sleeping, huddled up with like a blanket,

like a beach blanket and he's like sleeping on a cooler and a sweatshirt over him. And that is a tight space. And to see him try to curl up like that. I may do, I may do in the moment. And I wish it was in the Pacifica because I would have so much more room. I will tell you. I mean, I would love it if somebody would do fan art of just that image.

I will beautiful fan art like really classy. Yeah. Yeah. I say that because I'm a very, very heavy sleeper. So you yelled at me this week about being a drug addict. You woke up, I came into the room and you're like, it's like being married being a drug addict. You woke up, I came into the room and you're like, it's like being married to a drug addict. Cause I was like going to bed at like 2 30 in the morning. You would have been very late. You go into incognito mode and I don't know what you're doing, okay?

I have a player, we're in the playoffs. It's no big deal. I just like most people, don't most couples like go to bed together like Books side by side and no that's not true. Is it? I don't know. I don't I don't know every night We go to bed sometimes together never make people are trying to carve out Not Jason of course because he's in a fortress of solitude, but you're trying to carve out a tiny- I'm not doing it on purpose.

Aren't you though? What do you mean? Don't you feel like you need an hour or two by yourself? I mean, I'm waking up very- no, no, Paul. Yes, no, absolutely. Absolutely. Only time you're alone. Yeah, I do feel like at night, there is a nice moment when the kids are asleep and I would love to be with my wife

But I also just want to have like a moment where I'm no one is asking anything of me And I can just really be zoning out and I'm normally folding laundry while I'm doing that, but that's okay That that's holding is that what you call incognito mold folding Your eyes at that June like you rolled rather like I do I like I like the part of your self alone time is also making sure that I just know I'm doing chores most of it. Most of it I'm like pretty much. And I appreciate it. What if folding towels and stuff was just you were doing it in virtual reality in a game. You were just like, you're doing it in a game called chores.

But when he- Well, there is a compulsion to doing laundry. Like we've gone away on vacation and like day one before we've arrived, he's like, should we put a load in? Wait, and then like- No. No.

I do, I do like to look, if we have a laundry machine there, why not put it in and get it clean and ready to go? Okay, so I'm with Paul on this one because that means, what that means is I can bring fewer things and wash them while I'm there. I want them to relax. Listen, vacation for me is incognito mode. I want to divorce myself from chores and let someone else do it all. Like I don't want any of it. And

Paul's immediately like doing loads. I guys I think we need to stop using low doing loads. Do you want that shirt cleaned? I'm like, I'm wearing it. No, that don't say that. I don't do that. I don't do that. Hang on. That's he's just trying to he's just trying to take you to the Crohn's. Yeah, get that. I'm gonna get you out of that shirt. So, I don't I don't understand. I don't understand exactly what the curse is because the curse is

lifted when he kisses her but not falls in love, I don't know. But I wanted to show this kiss. This is slide number 11, because I wanna look at Vanessa Hudgens hand. This is sent to us by one of our listeners. Take a look at this, where her hand is here. Huh. No.

It looks like a Dr. Pimple Popper or something. It's getting in there. It's a little bizarre. I wonder if she's gonna, it's a weird. She's hanging on. She's hanging on to the chain mail and I think she's doesn't know where else to put the finger. Can I ask a question?

Is her nail polished metallic? Yeah, it looks like it. Yeah. And that's in the least detail. That's it. Somebody. That's such a nice detail. They're tying them together, just like the stonework in all the houses in the castle. Yes, I have tried that.

They're tying together. But Huggins is also like, as a person, always at Coachella. Like I feel like I'm always seeing pictures of her in like string shirts. And like in Isabel Marambo. Yeah. Like she's always like, Coach Ellis, I feel like those nails may have been a laptop.

Sure. For a second. Can we go back? Yeah, let's go back to pictures on there. June, to your point from earlier and also to our Santa point, this guy's bangs, this is, this should not be happening. Like his hair should not be peeking out of his chain mail. This is just the same way that Santa's wig shouldn't not be peeking out of his chainmail. Just the same way that Santa's wig shouldn't have been peeking out of. Guys, no peeking. How many times do I have to say it?

Of course, saying a wispy bang. It's a wispy bang. We don't like a wispy bang. And let's go to our audience here. Let's see what the chat has to say. All right. Steve Schappi writes, wouldn't it make more sense if Vanessa Hudgens was a history teacher instead of a science teacher. Yes. Because there was one line where she said something like, oh, hold on, the king was blah, blah, blah in the 1300s of like, just fish n' scow like in-cog-kino food and like Google that shit, you know? Why wouldn't they make it a change? Because there's nothing that she does that's any bit about science. She doesn't have to help them get back. She's not doc-rowing it.

And it could have been something that really brought them together. They could have had shared, like if she knew about specifically his era or even his, like the, the, the, the, the, his period of, of like knighthood, you know, it would be, that would be, that would have given them a connection that frankly, the movie, I mean mean the only connection the movie gives them is she hits him with her car and then is kind of like dreamy over him. Can we talk, we haven't even mentioned the dad with four kids.

Oh my God. Whose wife just passed away. By the way, that's like the opposite of the Sarah, the Melissa Joan Hart movie, where is the mother of five kids. Yes. No, I don't know if she was, was she a single mother? She was single, yeah.

She was single too. She was a redhead, so. And she was a redhead. Well, if you wanna know, it was Megan Merry Christmas and it was a sister of Turkey Sub, which is a reference to on the line. Yeah, it was. I actually loved the relationship between Hudson and Sager.

Yeah, they were great. I loved it. It was like, I felt that they had something, the two actresses, and there was a natural chemistry between the two of them, and the sister wasn't, I mean, I was upset I wasn't offered the role, didn't get a chance to audition, show what I might do, but, you know,

so that was hurtful. I will say that the sister I did read for the Chrome. Is where I play, yeah. I did read for the Chrome. I will say that the sister of the school I did read for the crown. is where I play. Yeah. I did read for the crown. I will say that the sister losing her daughter. The sister losing the daughter in the forest, which

I just remember right now, and then the husband coming home. I didn't like the husband for her. I didn't think it was a crown. I thought it was a mom. Me too. He was absent. And I liked it. I liked it better.

His daughter almost died, and he was absent. So that was the only time I was attracted to the night was when he was telling that little girl to snail over. I do like men save children. Let me ask you a question. I felt like I felt like that in the movie, they did that scene in a way, almost as if it was a public service announcement about what to do if you got yourself. Will you ever forget it, Jason? Will you ever forget it?

It was so step by step, though. That's why, OK, a number of times I wrote down, is this a faith-based movie? Because I feel like in certain instances, like the man with the dead wife and the four children, they really dug into like weird stories or things that to me felt like, or educational. Well, when they gave the when they gave the single dad those

gifts, that was a very religious moments, the town chipped in and we honor you, you know, yeah, it was inappropriate to have to have him publicly like receive that. Like don't let him all of it. I would have had him wrapped up and put it under their tree as if he did it. Yeah, absolutely. Let them experience that in private.

Like the pageantry of it, I'm like, you all really revealed yourselves and what your charity is all about. It felt like they were patting themselves on the back rather than why not let him have this with his children? Oh my God, this man's wife has died and he has to have four kids on his own. He's got two jobs.

There's a scene in which Vanessa Hudgens and her sister and maybe the knight are all talking about that guy, Dave, I think is his name, where for like a minute and a half they're talking about, and you know what, he still finds time to volunteer because it's important for him to show what service, that service is important. And I was like, who is this for? What is this for?

I thought we were supposed to come, I mean, I don't know. Wasn't there a movie about being like, yeah, he kept on trying to figure out how to fulfill his quest. But I guess to me, what I think is more to the point is like a Christmas movie needs to check certain boxes. Like you did an act of service and we're showing like home alone even has these things where like we're showing community, we're showing family, we're showing this.

Like, so you need to like kind of hit these like hallmarks. It was weird though. There, there were jumps the movie makes where sometimes I'm like, what the fuck is going on here? Because she says the reason why they have that event is because her parents who are both deceased. That's sometimes why I hate saying both of my parents are deceased because it feels like such a movie moment like both really? Wow.

And so soon one after the other, like it just, it feels insane. But, and it felt insane in this movie, but her parents who are both deceased have had this Christmas party for people who didn't have anywhere to go on Christmas. Like, okay, well that's something where I thought we were gonna replicate.

No, what we're now doing is hosting with the same spirit, an event where everyone can come and we sell tickets. And then the proceeds and profits from the tickets go to families, not who are alone, but in need. It was such a strange journey to get there. It also was, it also came up and maybe it was forgive me if it was mentioned earlier and I just didn't clock it. But it's a minute 47 that she says I might need your help pulling off this

holiday feast. And I was like, what holiday feast? Oh, yeah. This is what we're driving. By the way, this movie, they do a lot of weird stuff. Like there's a moment to where I mean, I had an issue with this, where they're decorating the tree on Christmas Eve. But yet she has a whole nother house that's fully decorated. Like she like saved the tree until I just I don't understand that. That conceit that you would you would decorate the tree the night before.

Martin Morrow Lee from recipe., oh, this is Lee. Oh, wow. From Recipe for Seduction. Wow. Thank you, Martin. Huge reveal, huge reveal. We'll talk about Recipe for Seduction in a little bit. Cole came from the year 1334, but liked oranges.

How was this possible if oranges weren't introduced to Europe until the 16th century? Because everybody was getting a scurvy. That's why they were all getting the scurvy. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. That's what critical high people are bringing to these movies. And I really appreciate that. That's what I really appreciate. That's what I kind of wanted a recipe for seduction. Next question.

What do we got here? Oh yeah. Oh, go ahead. Oh, Nancy, do you agree with the film's 70% rotten tomato score? Sure, I want that. 70 is not bad. 70 is not bad. I think it's so good. I think that's good.

That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If we're rating it on a scale of Christmas movie, I mean like holiday TV movies, like what we're talking about, then 70%, yes, 100%. But it to like, comparing it to like real

regular movies. No, you know, like, then of course not. Right. But like, in its category, this is certainly better than holiday and handcuffs and the thing. Oh, yeah. The least Navi dad, Melissa Joan Hart's new movie. Oh, well, I can't speak to that because I haven't seen it yet. It is a movie that was shot in COVID protocols. Snow Dad is better than No Dad.

But listen, guys, let's remember that this movie to me, I don't know, maybe I just, again, maybe it was just because last week was a rougher slog. This one went down like a cold, like I'm sorry, a hot glass of hot cocoa. Me too! Which this guy was- I wish I was with Kate Mason while we were watching that. I really do. Oh my God. Wouldn't that have been a dream?

It would have been a dream, but then it would have meant that I would have had to have tell you where I live, which I'd rather not. Next question. I don't know where it lives. Balcony Monster 2020 Baby writes, where did the dog come from? Great question.

Great question. This dog just straight up appears. I also think this falls into the category of the niece, not even having a name just referred to as niece. There are a couple of, uh, magic. Never get a puppy. You never get a puppy. I learned the hard way.

By the way, that's you've changed. You've changed your he says that. By the way, that's, you've changed, you've changed your opinion on that, by the way, June. With your coffee bean down, sir. Never get a puppy. Nope. I mean, I guess puppies, certain puppies do need somewhere to go, but unless you really feel like you can handle it, it's too hard.

You can't handle it. You can't handle it. It almost broke me. I think that one of the other things this movie doesn't figure out is that is this the magical element of the movie. Like clearly the night and the crone and the magic of Christmas gave the niece the puppy, but they don't give you any in a movie that is full of inexplicable rules. They don't give you any and they don't they don't line it a movie that is full of inexplicable rules, they don't give you any, and they don't line it up enough that you're like, oh, that's cool.

I still think the biggest problem, the biggest problem that they had was they had the title, A Night Before Christmas, and they did no, they did no, they had no journey to be like, how do we get this guy from Norwich, England, to the States? Like there's no logic.

It's not hard either. Like Outlander again, as I told you, Piledrive, et cetera. Oh, you should read it. You told me to do a number of times. You should read it, my friend. In Coggenito? No, well, yes, by yourself, I'm sure. Sweating it out. Sweat it out and read that.

But they touch, she touches a stone, like a mega, like one of those monoliths, and then it just transforms Rebecca. It's not that hard to come up with a reason that there's a tear in the time-space continuum. But just give me a reason, give me where it is. Yeah, but he's also like, he also is like, well, I guess I'm here, cool, is like, well, I guess I'm here.

Cool. What are we doing? I guess I'll try and drive that car. I'll wear these clothes. I'll do this. I'll do that. Yes, I'm sure an American person in Norwich, England, like, like there's no way like you didn't need to like, you know, you didn't need to get in that. Yeah. Yeah. That's like holiday. Love that movie. Love that movie.

What is it? Holiday. Holiday. What is the movie? Isn't there a movie where? Isn't there a movie where Meg Ryan, where Hugh, Hugh? No, where somebody is a knight from olden days and comes and finds Meg Ryan? Yes. Yes. Oh, yes. That's Jackman, right? And it's called Jackman.

That's what it is. Yes, it was. Isn't that this movie, but not Christmas? Yes, but they deal a lot more with his confusion. One of the things that isn't that fun is to watch someone for, for an hour and a half, be like, Oh, it's happening to me. Like you want to like quickly get to like, and I'm in your house and I'm dealing with the Alexa. Yes. And I'm in a towel and I'm getting the vote out for Georgia. I'm just doing it. I'm just in the mix. Maybe maybe that's our movie.

Our movie is our movie is by time travel. Yeah. People who are constantly moving through time but are completely unfazed by it. June has left the picture. Kate and Leeda told me. I say something was that she really. Yeah, she really. I wonder where she's going. Our last question here, our last question,

Krista writes, my question is, do we think it's okay that one, they put that child in that wig, and two, that her teacher was deeply invested in her teenage love life? Because by the way, she really comes into it and then the end scene, which we also have too, that's the other video that we have,

video number seven where she kind of wraps it up for her. Here we go. Oh, he's getting a sleepy time. You will never believe what happened. Grayson is begging me to take him back. Right? I told him to forget it because true love only exists in fairy tales.

And from now on, I'm only focusing on my goals. Paige, I was wrong. Well. But, but you said. No, it's not about your goals, that's good. But about true love. It does exist. Really?

No, it may not come around that often, but when it does, you'll recognize it. When someone loves you completely for who you are, and you want what's best for them too, even... ...even if it means it's not with you. Oh, sorry. That's okay. Okay. Okay, lady. She's like, okay. Yeah, you just had a future crown and crown training. Like,

that's when you're like, Oh, fuck, guys. I saw Mrs. Mrs. Hudgins out the other night. And she said some fucked up shit. She's crazy. Guys, no joke. I had this is not that funny. But I'm just remembering that my junior year soccer teacher, my teacher called me into his off his know he was a coach. And he he was like what are you doing messing around with that guy like wow you think you know isn't there someone better and i was like huh interesting i had a similar jessica that's just like a buried memory just came back to me. Wow. Unearthed by Vanessa Hudgens. Anyway.

I had a similar thing where a teacher brought me in. A teacher brought me into the room, and she said to me, she's like, you know that kid, David? She's like, he's a real bully. And if he ever does anything again, I think it would be fine if you just punch them. And, and, and I, and she gave me permission to fight this kid, this kid in sixth grade. So the next time he did something, I was like,

no, my teacher said I could do it. And I was like, bam. And yeah, it was a pretty, I was like, no, my teacher said I could do it. And I was like, bam. And yeah, it was a pretty, yeah, I really. What did you, did you go to the teacher afterwards and be like, I did what you said? I did say to my parents that the teacher did give me the okay. But they didn't really hold water because the parents did try to sue us.

They did? Yeah. Oh my God. This is another chapter in the harrowing childhood. Yeah, that was a real, that was a, yeah. You need to do your own Angela's Ashes, but it takes really quite a setting. Oh my God.

That's incredible. That scene made me think, clearly it made all of us think. And I really credit, hats off to Vanessa Hudgens and her performance. She is easy on screen and I'm excited to see where her career goes. But I will say like it made me think actually, what if I had when our children are teenagers

and Jessica you have a daughter, but like I don't know that I'll be telling them like, oh yeah, I think I will be downplaying love and, you know, falling in love at that age because I was at that age at that age because maybe by a fucking diamond ring for a girl dating in sixth grade. I mean, like a fake diamond ring. Unlike Jason's story about going to the bathroom in the airplane, I want to hear that story over and over and over. Oh, over and over and over.

My mom was like, if you like her, buy her an ice ring. And I went to Macy's and then I said, yeah, oh yeah. We went to Macy's with my mom. That is bananas. I didn't even know what I was doing. Now I think about it. I'm like, mom, what were you thinking? But I mean, it's a question.

Can I ask you a question? Did you get married in high school? No, sixth grade, Jason. You have another name? You have a second wife? Sixth grade. Sixth grade, I'm sorry. Junior high school. Is that junior high school? No, sixth grade. Sixth grade. I'm sorry. Junior high school. Is that junior high school for you? It was I mean, I guess yeah, my god. I mean, I'm so embarrassed by it. Now that I think about it, I gave a girl like a fake

diamond ring. She's dead now. No, I just joking. I just joking. No, I just joke. I just joking. Is it a cold case? I mean, I think we I think we might have a suspect. Jesus Christ, she's in your attic. People are asking the chat, is that the girl that I that I kiss at the musical? Yes, it was the girl I kissed the musical. You've read. So what age were you when you had your first girlfriend, Paul?

Like fifth or sixth grade. I wish. Oh, no way. I was begging for someone to give it to me. No one would. Jesus Christ. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. We have a lot of opinions here,

but there are people out there with a different opinion. It's now time for a second opinion. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. This movie fucking sucked, but five stars second opinions yes great grouping of things um there are no there are no Amazon reviews for this movie. These are from IMDB, but they are, they're 10 star reviews. Nate Kiley did all the research here, put these together, 10 stars. This is written by DGKT for, it was wonderful.

I love it so much. It was wonderful. It was really interesting and dreamy. It could be longer though. I wish they would make a sequel. And then this one from Joey Amore 10 stars goes better than a Hallmark Suite film with a few flaws. Excellent fun movie fairly accurate in the middle of the text. Don't let the naysayers turn you from watching

it. I highly recommend 10 stars. Yep. Whoa! Right there. This is another one from Perry. Perry writes, can't believe the negativity. This is a great movie. Josh Whitehouse is fantastic. Extremely likable and very funny.

I love that in this time travel movie, the driving force isn't how confused and freaked out the traveler is over and over again. Cole is clearly a renaissance man looking for his mission as a knight. He keenly observes everything and learns quickly from his observations. It's clear he doesn't spend too much time questioning what he doesn't know or understand and is open to the fact that just because something can't be logically explained doesn't mean it's not possible. Instead he focuses on the moment and what matters and being kind and compassionate and level-headed. I also like that Brooke is accepting and accommodating. Vanessa did a great

job too. 10 stars. I agree with every single one of these reviews. These are great. And then this is this is from Ewok. Ewok writes, honestly, the main draw for this film. to be the fact that I am from Norwich in England. It's a bit more than a castle and a barn now, but all in all, I enjoyed the film. Ten stars. Cute. From modern day Norwich. And then this one, this is from Elmo. Elmo Blade. Elmo Blade writes, what a wonderful movie that was made.

I watch a lot of movies, especially a lot of medieval movies. There's a lot of Christmas movies out there, but none like this one. And they made a wonderful Christmas movie by adding a medieval night. I wish they would make a second one where she goes to the castle and then they make a series.

If y'all watch it and like the medieval stuff, you'll be happy and you'll feel the same way that I did. 10 stars, a must watch. I love it all. Let's, we have one more thing to talk about, which is the the KFC movie, but anything that we missed, anything that we want to chat about here before we get into whether or not we would recommend this movie. Yeah. I had a couple of lines that I wrote down just because I was like, there was a lot of stuff in here that I was, oh, the kissing was very chaste.

I loved when he was just riding around the woods screaming crone, crone, crone. I thought his name was problematic. Sir Cole just ended up with a circle. And that was a rough way. no one like said it out loud until it was too late, I felt like. I loved when she said, you're telling me that single-handedly stopping a thief isn't quest worthy?

This is again, I wanna congratulate Vanessa Hudgens for selling lines that are so tough. These are tough. she essentially is the, the Netflix Christmas cinematic universe. She is it. She's constantly having to give exposition. She's constantly trying to sell lines. She handles it beautifully.

She's doing an incredible job. Sorry, there was a bunch of stuff that I was just like, oh, all the stuff about mead, which is an alcoholic drink, but then in the real world, again, in the movie last week, there is no alcohol in the lives of people in these movies. They're not allowed to drink alcohol or have sex.

No, but no adults can do either of those, which I thought was weird. One thing I found extremely disturbing was when. Jessica no. Wow. Jessica no. Jessica no. Jessica no.

What a great way to get her out. What a great way. Wow. Wow. Wow. I had honestly just found the right level for her. Like after Jason finished, I was like, Oh, Jessica's starting and I just found like

just the right level that was right. Yes. But right for everyone else. Do you think that you did not have her computer plugged in like that? Definitely. It's just died. She was riding on like 8%. What do you like? What's the likelihood she's still talking at her computer right now? Oh, yeah. She does not know that she's off.

She's talking to a black mirror. She's like right in there. I started following Vanessa Hudgens on Instagram after this because I'm like, she's up to some fun stuff. No, not incognito. I showed you the video of her covered in blood, like licking her fingers and stuff. She's like, yeah, doing some crazy shit. Yeah, I liked that. I liked that. She had an ex boyfriend. I liked that, I liked that she had an ex boyfriend. I liked that all of the dynamics worked better for me

than the dynamics. Again, I keep comparing it to last week's movie, but they just worked, it made more sense, this movie. And now that being said, what didn't make sense is like, Emanuel Cherokee's daughter comes very close to dying. Like they're supposed to go out and have a sword fight and instead they walk all the way down to the river and are standing on top of it.

Why did she go out there? She didn't see that type of kid. Yeah, it's like her friends convinced her. Like she said, my friends went all out here and we got lost. We went too far up. Hey, welcome back. Welcome back. What happened?

What happened? I really want to know. Was it? Well, so I assumed that you just ran out of battery. It wasn't. Yeah. Is it ever? It wasn't plugged in.

I'm sorry. You were so happy. You texted me this week and you're like, I found the plug to my computer. I want to read the text Paul that came in from Jessica. That's because I was actually like, it really made me read the text fall that came in from Jessica. I was actually like, it really made me do those. Put those cans back on. Get settled.

Did do the wrong thing. I like received a text from Jessica this week that actually like it concerned me because I was like, oh, did she think we were upset with her? like it concerned me because I was like, oh, did she think we were upset with her? I really was worried. And then this, okay, wait, so let me find the text. Paul, do you have it with you? I have everything off. I mean, like I told you, you don't know. Thank you. The timing couldn't have been better. The timing was incredible. The cans aren't plugged into anything. The cans aren't plugged into anything. Can you hear us? No. You can't hear us.

Why are you saying how long? She just wrote. She wrote. Wait, wait, wait. I think I got it, Paul. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Okay. Okay. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, okay. Oh. I hate myself so much. Okay, so, so Paul and I get a text from Jessica and what's playing right now? I don't know, June, what's on their computer. I don't know, do you hear something? Like, June's computer is, everything's open for you. Oh my God god it's me. What is that? Do you hear those bird noises? Probably YouTube. Just close YouTube. Does anyone hear those bird noises or it's just me?

I love that you're like planning Jessica and then you're also doing Jessica. I'm sorry. So Jessica wrote, is it okay to say this Jessica? Sure, I'm losing my mind. Yesterday at 1.07 PM, Paul and I get a text. Now we had also done, as Paul mentioned, a live charity show, me, Jessica, Jason, Casey, Danielle, a bunch of different people. And there were also like everybody was on and Jessica wasn't on yet.

And there was some concern. I sent my obligatory, like we're all here text. I sent a text to you too. We all sent a text. Yeah, and then I get, so, like, we're all here text. I sent a text to you too. We all sent a text. Yeah, and then I get, so the next day we get a text from Jess yesterday, guys, to me and Paul, I just want to say thank you so much for including me in these fun Zoom shows.

And an apology for being late to tech of each one. I'm a hot mess. Upon reflection, I think I've been in resistance to anything that has to do with organization during this pandemic. And I've decided to get my shit together. So I just wanted to say sorry, I love you. I found the cord to my computer

and downloaded Google Chrome. Love you. I found the cord to my computer and downloaded Google Chrome. Love you. Oh, I know, but then- Can I say something? Can I say something? I think the t-shirt- Because all the things he had me order don't fit into my computer.

That's your computer, June. It's the same one. I bought the same one you had. Okay, first of all, my husband- My husband was trying to help you, Jessica, okay? And getting you set up. I think the t-shirt for this show, the t-shirt for this show,

one of the t-shirts for this show should just be a transcription of Jessica's text. Just text of what you just read. And I think people, I would like audience members to send us dramatic readings of Jessica St. Claire's text to the girl. I would love to feel terribly because people like really need to understand that Paul and I didn't

say we didn't say boo. I was just like, I love I love Jessica. She can come. We were so happy to have you here always like I accept you. Everything about you. And with that, I ask you all, would you recommend this movie? Jess, it goes to you first. Would you recommend this movie? What were you gonna say before you?

And didn't you see, didn't you see just last question, Jessica, didn't you see like, oh, I'm at 8%, I'm at 7% like. I don't like it. I chew in the moment. She doesn't even know where the plug is. Didn't a window come up that says you're running out of battery?

No, you know why guys? She's a true artist. I live in a moment, just like that actor who plays the knight who's giving you eyes and Vanessa Hudgens taking it minute to minute and moment to moment. That's right. You're on the work.

Okay, I'm here with you. I'm not checking my phone, okay? The question is this, would you recommend this movie? No. Jessica Sinclair. Okay, June, no. Jessica. 100% yes.

Yes! Just like I would recommend Emily in Paris. Emily in Paris. That's what it's supposed to be pronounced as. It's supposed to rhyme. Emily in Paris. Please, please don't ever do that again. Emily and party.

Oh, please. June, June, we know how you feel about men. We know how you feel about men drinking tea. How do you feel about men speaking in accentuated French accent? I loved that. I loved every second of it. I love my love. No, I say yes, I recommend this movie, especially if you're searching for a holiday movie

of right now, blah, blah, blah. I mean, listen, I would go with some of the others. I would go with your- Nick Nuts. Love that movie. Nick Nuts, like you said, very controversial. Very controversial. Not Nick Nuts. No matter. Um, what do you think?

Um, Clea and Mary Holland's movie, uh, Oh, The Happiest Season, which is really fun. Which I really love. Holiday, the holiday. I would watch those first, but I will say, this movie, totally worthwhile watching. It makes me want to get into the Netflix

Christmas world. I'm like, this is kind of a, this is like maybe a competition lifetime in a good way. Put us in the Netflix world. We're ready. We're ready. June's already in it. June's in it. So is Jessy.

I mean, I'm not in the Christmas Netflix world. No, no. I'm not in the Christmas Netflix world. Are you telling me June, that Vanessa Hudgens character didn't watch Grace and Frankie? I dare say she did. Oh my God, you're absolutely right. You're absolutely're absolutely right yeah I mean they're already watching Netflix on

this thing I would recommend it I really like it I like Vanessa Hudgens I loved her in spring breakers I've seen High School Musical she's 32 so I feel okay saying that I think that she is you know she's doing a great job she's doing a great great job you said spring breakers a couple different times which you did believe it are you said it I was doing I just thought maybe there was a definitely You said Spring Breakers a couple different times, which you didn't believe. I didn't. June said it. Yeah, it was June. I just thought maybe there was an image.

Definitely has some incognito feelings for Vanessa Hudgens. I saw, I'm positive about it and it's okay. I've, listen, I've got enough confidence in myself. It's fine. You should, you're a beautiful woman. You're a beautiful woman. I do.

You are three times Vanessa Hudgens. Listen, I'm almost crone, but. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! incognito searching to his heart's delight because he knows you're trapped in a sauna.

I am trapped. Now the best, see, here's the tough thing. Actually the best way to get in your sauna bed is to have someone else put you in, like kind of put you to bed. No, I understand. Christmas style, yeah. I'll do that, I'll do that for your birthday.

For your birthday, I'll tuck you in. That is weird, I think. I think that's weird. As I drink my tea, I will say adult putting you. That is weird. I think that's weird. As I drink my tea, I will say adult putting adults to bed is weird. Do you remember what you did to me? I don't think I've told the story before on this. When we were flying to Los Angeles,

there was a Lifetime movie called, May I Take Your Order? About a person who was abducting women from who were like doing the, may I take your order? That he would like take them and then, and then do bad things to them. And Jason said, I don't think you can handle this movie. I would not suggest you watch it.

And I said, don't fucking tell me what to do. Like I'm a big girl. I'm gonna watch this movie. So we went- By the way, by the way, first, first insinuation that you might not be a big girl is when you refer to yourself as a big girl. I'm a big girl.

And then this is how truly psychotic he is. Then we went to the place we were sitting. I was right. You shouldn't have watched that movie. Waited until I fell asleep in the other room. He kept himself up. Then he crawled into the room. What the fuck is wrong with you, Jason?

Crawled into the room. It's so good. And whispered in my ear as I was in a deep sleep, may I take your order? Which I fucking almost had a heart attack. Do you know how psychotic that is? That's really disturbed and demented. Here's what I'll say, same thing, Claire. You have told that story multiple times, including on this podcast.

So you were shaming me earlier. You were shaming me earlier for repeatedly telling stories, and here you are repeating a same story. But I will say, that story is 100% true. I tried to be a good friend to you on the plane and said, don't watch this movie, you're gonna be scared. And then I was like, if you're gonna- If you're gonna make sure that you're scared.

Yeah, listen, I'm here to help. Look, I've done that too. I mean, look, I had to promise my wife that I wouldn't put her on scare tactics in our wedding vows. So I understand not trying to scare a person that is close to you. Holy shit.

Oh my God. This has been a fucking delight. We have two things to hit, which is, all right, let's talk about this Kentucky Fried Chicken movie. I have a crown headache. Like I have like a crown headache. So before we play this clip, so I'll actually pull out the clip for one second. So the Kentucky Fried Chicken movie, a recipe for seduction.

I know only a few of us have seen it. And it's a 15 minute mini movie that is essentially like a hidden ad for Kentucky Fried Chicken, right? That's, you know, it's like in the style of a lifetime movie. And I know that everyone was like, you gotta do it. You gotta do it. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

Because they thought it was real, then it wasn't real, and it's only 15 minutes. Thoughts, anyone wanna talk about? I can jump in first and say, I thought it was fine. It was neither ridiculous to the point where I wanted it to be, nor was it as serious to be dissected. That's kind of where I felt about it.

It was neither here nor there. I don't like it when people who aren't actually funny try to do funny things. Yeah, I just feel like you gotta commit one way or the other. Like when Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig did that Lifetime movie, it was so fucked. It was so perfect. I wanna rewatch that.

That was so fucking perfect. And they played that so beautifully, the two of them. Because this thing was like branded content, it was neither nor. They just, neither could they make, go after hard jokes and kind of do a send up of a lifetime movie. Yeah.

Nor, nor was it like what you're saying, Paul, nor did it take itself serious enough that it would be fun for us to dig into. It was really- I said that to the women in the Ann Taylor Loft suit blazers coming up with the idea. Now that being said, all I watched was the trailer. So Ann, my computer ran out of power.

I will say this, I will say this, that everyone in the film is fun and fine. Everyone's doing a great job. It just sort of is like, the best part is what we have right here, which is our producer, Avery Halley, cut together this montage of the amount of times they said Harland, which is Harland Sanders

in a 15 minute movie. And it's shocking. Here we go. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland.

Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Yes, Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Harland. Yes, Harland. That is the, that is a lot of Harland's for only 15 minutes of content. That is, yeah, so that's that. You know, you can watch it. It's on YouTube. God bless. And I just want to go around the horn and give everyone a chance to talk about what they want people to know about. And I just wanna go around the horn and give everyone a chance to talk about what they want people to know about. And I'm just gonna lead off with one thing

that's not for me, but our engineer Devin, who is just one of the best. He has this 52 track album. It's a charity box set that he wrote and recorded from 2003 to 2018. It's available for 15 bucks on Bandcamp. And every penny goes to Girls Rock Chicago and She Rock in Minnesota,

Rock Camp non-profit supporting girls, women, trans, non-binary musicians with equipment, resources, and opportunities to make their own music. You can check it out on Bandcamp. If you don't wanna spend that 15, you can also check it out on Spotify, which is also there, but it's called The Beginner's Guide to Birds. It's a 52-track charity album.

So definitely, I just wanna plug that and go check that out. It's great, it's really, really good and Devon is supporting some awesome, awesome organizations there. But now I'll go around to all of you. Gosh, well, Devon, that sounds incredible. And yeah, I hope everybody checks that out.

And just a special shout out to all of our listeners who are quarantining alone and following the rules and doing the right thing to keep us all safe and handling the holidays alone in their houses and apartments. It's so hard. It's just so hard. And yeah, just a special shout out to everybody who's staying at home for the next, you know, for the next month or so. Jess, you wanna give some tech? And happy birthday Jason.

Oh, thank you. You know, today I did something that made me feel happy, which is an emotion that we don't feel as much these days. This organization, Baby to Baby and Baby and then the number two baby does all this incredible stuff. But one thing you do is like adopt. You can adopt a family or a kid who, you know, wouldn't get presents from Santa and you get their profile,

you go out and you go nuts and buy them all the things that they want, you know. And I gotta tell you, it was like supermarket sweep. I'm buying for a 12 year old boy and he was just like, I remembered like, oh, that's what makes us feel better in times of, you know, strife. It's to help other people. I haven't done enough of that.

So anyway, if you guys were thinking of something you wanted to do, they need diapers and all sorts of things. And yeah, just go on their website, Baby2Baby. But I'm telling you, it's a rush, it's a rush. And to that end, I'll say, you know, thank you to all of the people on the front lines working in hospitals, working in putting your lives

in service of helping sick people get through this. This is absolutely a terrifying time. We are experiencing an unprecedented amount of loss and grief in this country and around the world. And so thank you to all of you people, everybody who are genuinely selflessly putting yourselves out there. I just want to say thank you again for everyone tuning in. This has been such a fun thing for us. I know that seeing your reactions online have been, I don't know, there's an energy here that I never thought that we'd actually be able to get,

and I'm so happy that we are able to get that and share this in. And if you missed the first week show, or you wanna tell other people about it, we're gonna actually open up and extend the videos for about a week as a little bit of a Christmas special. You can kind of go and revisit these episodes if you've not seen the video versions of them, because as you know, they as a little bit of a Christmas special. You can kind of go and revisit these episodes if you've not seen the video versions of them

because as you know, they are a little bit longer and a little bit different than our audio episodes. And I also wanna say that yes, in addition to Feeding America, I belong, or not belong, but I support this organization called DonorsChoose. And DonorsChoose supports classrooms all across the country and it really helps teachers. They basically, any teacher anywhere in the country, you can put in the zip code that you want, they'll say like, hey, I need this for my classroom. And you can go and support that. And I have an ongoing donation there. And it's really kind of what Jessica was saying, you can really support certain classes and help them achieve a goal or play a part in the goal. And it's it's a great organization. I want wanna give a huge, huge shout out to Cody Fisher,

who is our producer here, who does so much work for this show. It's not technically her job and I appreciate her and I appreciate all the work that she does all year long. And I say the same thing to Molly, who is my amazing assistant, MVP, helps me get through the entire thing and is just absolutely wonderful. A big

shout out to our producer, April Halley, who pulls these films and these clips and makes these trailers and works her ass off to to supply us with such great stuff. Nate Kiley does all this amazing research. Of course, the ghost of Craig T. Nelson who designed all these amazing posters that you saw on Instagram and Kyle Waldron as well. And finally, I know we already talked about Devin, but Devin who doesn't even work so much in so many ways on all your favorite shows and he is just A plus in my book. People, we love you. Thank you for being here. Happy, happy birthday, Jason. Thank you. And good night. Thank you for being here. Bye for now.