HR BESTIES - Bringing Your True Self to Work

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

Today’s agenda:  Motion lotion Cringe corporate speak: Move the needle Hot topic: Personal lives at work Investing the time to know your employees Feeling safe to share (or not share!) Questions/Comments  Your To-Do List: Grab merch, submit Questions & Comments, and make sure that you’re the first to know about our In-Person Meetings (events!) at https://www.hrbesties.com. Follow your Besties across the socials and check out our resumes here: https://www.hrbesties.com/about.  We look forward to seeing you in our next meeting - don’t worry, we’ll have a hard stop! Yours in Business + Bullsh*t,  Leigh, Jamie & Ashley Follow Bestie Leigh! https://www.tiktok.com/@hrmanifesto https://www.instagram.com/hrmanifesto https://www.hrmanifesto.com Follow Bestie Ashley! https://www.tiktok.com/@managermethod  https://www.instagram.com/managermethod https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyherd/ https://managermethod.com Follow Bestie Jamie! https://www.millennialmisery.com/ Humorous Resources: Instagram • YouTube • Threads • Facebook • X Millennial Misery: Instagram • Threads • Facebook • X Horrendous HR: Instagram • Threads • Facebook Tune in to “HR Besties,” a business, work and management podcast hosted by Leigh Elena Henderson (HRManifesto), Ashley Herd (ManagerMethod) and Jamie Jackson (Humorous_Resources), where we navigate the labyrinth of corporate culture, from cringe corporate speak to toxic leadership. Whether you’re in Human Resources or not, corporate or small business, we offer sneak peeks into surviving work, hiring strategies, and making the employee experience better for all. Tune in for real talk on employee engagement, green flags in the workplace, and how to turn red flags into real change. Don't miss our chats about leadership, career coaching, and takes from work travel and watercooler gossip. Get new episodes every Wednesday and Friday, follow us on socials for the latest updates, and join us at our virtual happy hours to share your HR stories. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know what workplaces rarely have on-site HR, but are probably the ones that most need HR? Restaurants. Oh, absolutely. People always say that, right? There's no HR in restaurants, but there should be. Yeah, God. I started out, and I mean from quick service restaurants, which some people call fast food

in the industry, we call it quick service, to like the fine dining. Oh yeah. There is some, I guarantee you your finest meal, if you could see a peek behind that into the dish washing station, into the line, the language. I mean, I think- It's delicious. Oh my God.

Like the biggest education- Yeah, I'm like, man, the language is fine. I was like, oh, I had. I mean, I I grew up every year growing up, except for when I worked in a restaurant, when I grew about 10 years in two months, meaning that I learned. I went from 17 year old, 16 year old Ashley, innocent AF to still innocent, but have heard like the gas. I worked at an Italian restaurant in Louisville

and it was the most fun workplace because it was one of those situations that like all my friends and I worked there. And also we worked with them, like the crew that was like in their 20s had worked in restaurants for a while. And then we had some of the lifers that like, you know, like that. And then the restaurant owner and the language, like, you know, like a customer complain about, this is why I would never complain in a restaurant. Because I'd be like, excuse me. The woman at table four, you know, she had, fuck her, if you get the fuck out of here, she could suck my, you know.

She said it was undercooked, undercooked, her motherfucker. And you're just like, I think that- I will translate that for her. Yes. And I remember, and also I was like 17 and I, but this job, I was making so much money because it was in cash. I wanted to save for spring break. I didn't want to get in trouble. So I certainly didn't tell my parents what it was going to be.

Of course not. In fact, until later. My parents were like, what? It was like, I remember they'd like run out once we ran out of like a cheesecake. And so we ran out of the strawberry sauce for the top. And he was like, you know, the owner was like, yo, good the fuck, I'll get my motion lotion, fuck up, put it on the,

and I have no idea what he's talking about. I'm like, okay, and I'm like, I'm just a little innocent 17 year old. Anyway, here comes this jar of stuff, dee dee dee dee, on there to this day, to this day. He put his lube on there? He put his strawberry lube on there? From the back office, you know, whatever it was, I just remember being like,

what in the actual... Once we ran out of lasagna, go to the Kroger, go to the Kroger, get some Stouffer's. No, literally, I had to do that. I saw, we sold, you know, we had no doubt, we sold $3.99, you know, lasagna for $32.99, you know, well, this is the 90s. I thought it was, Stouffer's is the 90s. Suppose like $17. But like every ounce of that. So anyway, but like the things that go on,

like the complaint mechanism, you know when you're getting those hotline complaints, like if you get one hotline complaint from a restaurant, you know it is like Pandora's box that's like... Oh, my gosh. Looking to get up because when someone finally is the canary in the mine squealing, it is, there's a lot of shit that goes down in restaurants.

Well, I mean, have you all seen the movie Waiting? Oh, yeah. No. Oh, you should go. It's very accurate. Old Ryan Reynolds. Classic. Watch it on the plane. OK. It's so good. But it is so true. Like it is. It's almost not even exaggerated. And you know what's funny, too, though, is like, there's so much drugs.

All the drugs. Well, I learned that. there's so much drugs. All the drugs. Well I learned that. There were all the drugs. I didn't partake in the drugs. I didn't either when I worked at the restaurant. It was like probably 95% of the staff was fucked up. Growing their own weed in their closets. We're drunk too because they had free access to alcohol. Yeah, like I was drinking in a restaurant job.

We would just put the margaritas in the styrofoam cups, you know, behind the hostess stand there. And there's the 40-year-old bartender creeping that out to teenage hostesses. Exactly, I was about to say, they don't care. You're 17, who cares? Our owner would like some. Exactly, anything goes. You're the same age. You're all the same age in a restaurant, I swear.

No one ever trained me on alcohol service. I was 17 when I worked there. In Kentucky, he would say, tell people you're 20 in a day, because that's how old you had to be. Oh my gosh. And I was like, I was about 12. And so, and I was literally like,

I just turned 20, you know, whatever. A few days ago, you know, da, da, da. But same, I mean, I would like feel like my peers were all 37, and I'd never been around this, likeda-da. But same, I mean, I would feel like my peers were all 737, and I'd never been around this, like Lizzie. But I was such a loser. I would buy beer from the restaurant owner, or he'd be like, pay me instead of wait.

Can you work an extra hour? I'll give you a couple beer, you know, a couple beer. Okay, but then I would get so nervous about drinking them. You're just supposed to steal it from the restaurant. I'm so confused. I'm like, wait, what? I would get so nervous. I would return them. And they've been sitting in a jeep back for like a week.

And I'd be like, what the fuck are you giving me back? And I'd be like, I'll just take the money instead. He's like, I'm not fucking giving you any money. I'll give you some dessert. And I'd be like, oh yeah, that's also fine. Yeah, give me some of your motion lotion. Give me a squirt. I distinctly remember going in the day that they were going to the restaurant.

I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused.

I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused. I was like, oh, I'm so confused. Yeah, give me some of your emotional lotion. Give me a squirt. I distinctly remember going in the day that the New York Times or whoever had done the expose on Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. And there he was sitting in the back office. It's like, oh my God. Oh yeah. Oh God, yeah.

But he had his feet up on the desk reading the newspaper, which seems surprising given everything else that's going on. I mean, his commentary on that whole thing of like, who wants to be my Lewinsky tonight? Oh my God. You're like, with my friends. But what we've talked about is work besties. We would just be like, just ignore him, ignore him. But the HR support is needed. That's not okay. It totally not existent, yeah.

Oh, that was one of my funnest jobs though. Working at the Chewies. Props. Shout out to Chewies. Okay. Love Chewies out of Austin. Oh gosh. Prime Day is coming July 16th and 17th. With epic deals exclusively for Prime members,

you'll feel like a winner. Behind door number three is Amazing Deals! Shop deals on electronics, home, and more this Prime Day. Thank you so much for joining us, besties. We appreciate your time. We are so glad you could fit us in to your busy workday schedule here. fit us into your busy workday schedule here.

We got a busy one for you. Let me take a quick rundown of the agenda. So we enjoyed a little hot goss from the water cooler with Ashley there. We're going to transition, of course, into our cringe corporate speak to officially kick off this meeting. And Jamie is going to provide that for us. So thank you in advance, Jamie. And then we will transition to our meeting hot topic, which today it is all about bringing our personal lives to work. What does that mean? Should we do it? All of the above, right?

So we'll turn that inside out a little bit for you. And then as always, we will conclude and wrap up our meeting with some questions and comments. So Jamie, what do you got for us today? So today it is Move the Needle. So I know I have not personally used this, but I've definitely been in the space where it is used. I have not personally used this, but I've definitely been in the space where it is used. Ashley just used it a second ago. She did. Sorry. So it's okay. We're all recovering corporate, I don't know what, corporate girlies maybe? Professionals. Yeah. Oh, girlies.

I'll go for that. Or in my case, corporate sati. Exactly. So Ashley, how do you interpret move the needle? Another way to say it that is I think slightly less sybil-lattically. Sybil-lattical. Sybil-lattical. Sybil-lattically. Sybil-lattically. Sybil-lattically.

Sybil-lattically. Sybil-lattically. Sybil-lattically. Sybil-lattically. Sybil-lattically. Sybil-lattically. Less syllables I think overall. Is that a word for real?

Syllable. I'm not sure someone will tell us. I don't know. I love it. Say it again for real. Don't say this in a meeting because then you're going to get the same reaction. Syllabal-lattically? Okay.

I mean, I make up words all the time. You say something confidently because the lead right now, she has a trust that I know what I'm talking about. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. But syllable-lattically, I don't think it's... Love it. Whatever. Anyway. But now it's a word now. I'm not going to self-deprecate. I'm going to use I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but syllabalatically, I don't think it's love it. Whatever. Anyway, I'm not going to be very confident. So I'm not going to tag you though.

Excuse me. Webster's dictionary. Say it again. Syllabalatically. Silla. Okay. Syllabalatically. So you could say I'm a slut for a syllable though. Y'all know that. Oh shit. It's the same number. Make a difference, which should be different. It should be three, but I'm from Kentucky, so it's two syllables. Difference. Difference. Yeah. Make a difference. Move the needle. Basically, it's the idea of, if you're going to spend time on something, it's not really going to, no one's going to give a

shit. And so it's not going to make that much of a difference. So you generally hear it if it's not going to move the needle. So it's telling someone you're going to put your idea in the parking lot. Like you're going to forget it. I'm trying to say that in a slightly polite way. See, I always hear it positive. Yeah. Same. Trying to move the needle. Yeah, we got to move the needle. Yeah, we're trying to move the needle. No, that's fair. Oh yeah. Like maybe we're making a difference. So we're moving that needle. Okay, that's true. That is true.

We got to move the needle on the. I just, I'm always getting, now you can hear the thing. I'm always getting shut down. I, Shut down by ideas or shit. Well, that isn't going to move the needle, Ashley. Syllable-atically. We're going to make this podcast a record-breaking podcast by using strong words like syllable-atically. It's not going to move the needle.

Yes, I love that. Oh, I can't believe you did that. Moving the needle up the charts. That's right. Okay. But you know what? I just had kind of an epiphany. I think that move the needle and one of y'all will fact check me or someone will DM me. I don't know. But does it literally mean of a record?

Like think of it moving the needle of a record on a record player to the next song. Like you're progressing. I don't know. I think that doesn't seem legitimate. Someone Google that. I have Jamie's phone. It ain't the space needle. Yeah. I think he's just thinking if. I have Jamie's phone. I'm gonna steal Jamie's phone. I think he's just thinking if it's like the temperature or like the decibels of volume.

See, we don't even know. We don't even know what we're saying. I said decibels, but I meant decibels. See, we don't even know. We're just saying all this shit in our lives and we don't even know what it means. That's right. I know. But when you think about it, we're saying all this shit, power of language, it may have a racist origin, it may have a sexist origin. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So the phrase moving the needle dates from the Industrial Revolution.

In Britain, it was first used to measure the speed of a steam engine. I'm flapping this with a gauge on the train's dashboard. And then the 1980s, it took on in the form of key performance indicators. So it was brought into corporate speed. Oh, I thought you were going to say record because of the 80s. I was like, oh yeah, see what... But no, so it's like the train, so it is kind of like that speeding up. Yeah, okay.

Oh, okay. Well, there, okay. Now let me move the needle. For some reason, that's what I'm envisioning too. Yeah. So let's try to sneak that in. Let's try to move the needle. Let's try to move the needle on. Move in the needle. Isn't that great? Oh gosh. Well, transitioning to our hot topic. That's a wonderful

pivot point. Let's move the needle forward. And today we are talking about all things bringing our personal lives to work. What does that mean to you, Jamie? Bringing your personal life to work. Well, I think I think it can be good. I like to be authentic. So I've I know I've said it probably a million times, but I have a I am 100% me 100% of the time. Like you're not going to catch me with this fake professional persona like I'm me. And I'm authentic, but being personable, like that's how I take it personally. Now, granted, sometimes I am with my clout presence, I do have to tone it down. Like, you know, I can't be in a termination meeting telling my little jokey jokes, but that's, you know, I do like to share about my children or my husband or,

you know, I like bringing some sort of personal level and I like learning about the employees, like personal lives outside of work. But when does it cross the line? Yes. I mean, it can, and it can cross the line. I mean, you can look at, like, you can hear people right now that'll be like, you talk about your kids and husband. Like, and I know we like, you know, we talk about things amongst each other with personal lives. You won't hear us on this podcast talking about that much of things because we try to keep the focus. And so we bring our personalities into it. But I mean, I listen to podcasts sometimes and they're going on for 15 minutes about like the things they did that weekend.

And it's like, you know, like they're no one fucking cares. I am honestly, I'm sometimes kind of like, no one fucking cares. 100 percent. Let's move the noodle on this content. And so it's the same of like, if you're in that, just being where I think it can cross the line in large part is if you stop and think like, I talk a lot about myself, but I don't know things about other people. And that's where I think leaders can get tripped up is they think that everyone

cares about them, but they don't take that time and get invested. And sometimes it's because you haven't had those conversations so it can feel awkward. That's why I would say it's never too late to change the way that you work in any semblance. But as a leader, stopping and saying to people, even acknowledging that, saying, there's questions that I realize, I'm embarrassed. I should know this about you. Tell me these things. And so sometimes it's also like, people don't want to hear it. People don't want to hear about your kid's soccer game. They're really not, not to the level that some people go into it. Oh yeah. Like to extensive levels. Like if you're parents on the same thing, fair, but like a lot of times people will just be like, this means I'm going to have to stay late to work on shit. And I don't want to hear about that.

But, but I might actually ask you like, Hey, did little Johnny win? No, you might. I would be like that. That's where like the EQ comes in. Some people have a hard, very hard time telling, especially if you're neurodivergent. You can't read people's signals. So sometimes it's just so in that semblance, literally sometimes it can be thinking about from a time perspective.

Okay, I'm going to talk about this for a minute and a half, generally about my personal life, and then I'm gonna ask them, and I'm gonna have that time component. So that can be a way if candidly, you realize you have a hard time reading that, but then there's other people that they don't wanna share.

And so that's why I say with a team, just saying as someone starts saying, you may hear some members of our team, they'll talk about things, please don't feel like you ever are, you're welcome to share. Because one thing I don't like, and I'll stop in a team, just saying as someone starts, saying, you may hear some members of our team, they'll talk about things, please don't feel like you ever are, you're welcome to share. Because one thing I don't like, and I'll stop in a second, it's like, when people are like, well, people ask me for time off, I tell people, stop, don't tell me what you're doing on your time off.

And I'm like, okay, well, that's also like, you know, there's some people that want to talk, like do want to talk about things they do in personal. So it's just about finding your people that want to talk about those things. Lee. Huh? Lee. Oh, Mike. Oh, your people that want to know about those things. Huh? Lee. Oh, my god. What am I want to say about this? I'm like, I'm on my internal jet.

I know. Yeah. So you're like, literally, you're like, ding, hi, Lee. Well, I'm in my mind, I'm thinking about later when I'm going to go to the lab, and how I'm going to spell that and these things. And do Lee and Jamie want to know about me? What? So I'm spiraling right now. So I'm going to spiral like I always ask for permission to like, may I please tell you about myself? How do you do that? Kind of like so, for instance, if I'm talking to someone like, I'm thinking specifically like with my team, if I'm like, oh,

do you have anything fun going on this week? You do not have to share a fear. Yeah. Like I've always done that with people, even with like people in like the office, like if I'm just walking around and someone's like, Oh, I went to, you know, beer fest this weekend. I'm like, Oh my God, was that fun? I'm like, you don't actually, you know, and I think you're, did you get arrested? You don't have to tell me. I think that's because I'm HR and I don't want, I want people to feel safe, but I also don't want them to feel like, to wonder why. Yeah. So I do. I almost ask like permission, like, but please feel like you don't have to answer me or if this is so that's, I don't know. I almost ask like permission like, but please feel like you don't have to answer me or if this is so that's, I don't know. I guess I've been uber conscious of that.

Not even realize that. Well, you do. I do think we've said that in HR. Do you think you have to think about that? Because people are like asking permission almost like if you don't want to share this, this is okay. Yeah, I do love that. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I think that that's a thing. Yeah, it should be a thing. Yeah. Right. You know, Yeah. I mean, yeah, I think that that's a thing. Yeah. That should be a thing, right?

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to save 50% on your first six bottles plus free shipping. Try firstleaf.com slash hrbesties. You know, for me with this one, you know, bringing personal lives to work, I do truly believe that we bring our whole selves with us wherever we go, right? And we are all very unique individuals. But the best workplaces for me are those that create safe spaces where people can truly

be themselves, right? Like, you know, out in the open. Because think about workplaces where you didn't feel the fit like it felt it physically probably working there It was the ones where you had to mute yourself in some way You had to do the copy paste thing literally been told tone it down literally have been told mute myself Right and what I have learned and why I am probably completely unemployable at this point. Oh my god bitch can't keep a job What really why I had to work for myself at this point is because at this age especially, what a privileged thing to say, but it's like I love being me and I really want to be here

all the time. I want to be her all the time. But what I've noticed and recognized, especially in a corporate culture, we're talking more professional culture here. I can probably be the fuck out of me in a restaurant. Right, right, right, right. But in a more corporate culture where being different is sometimes bad, just facts, right?

We all have our language and our cultures and they want people to fit in and stay in line and all of this. Sticking out gets you a lot of hate. It gets you a lot of haters in the workplace that intentionally sabotage you I mean just real talk, right? And so as much as I love to be myself it makes other people feel bad about themselves watching somebody else be themselves

Three shits to the wind. Yeah, I just made up that adage I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like to say, like, I've been very pleasantly surprised. And part of this was, I think, being illegal in particular, where, like, you think, I have found myself. Yeah. And like, I've just, I've felt very fortunate to be in situations where I felt like I could

be myself and have laughs at work. And even some of those environments where, like, you wouldn't think so. And I'm thinking assistants, bosses all over the place, where we've had like so many laughs at work and things. And I am like a probably clown. I mean, I have to work my ass off. But it's, but I felt like I can see situations and I, and I've had those situations where I felt like I couldn't be myself. And that it's like, you feel like I say, like as a manager of letting your team feel like,

like be a pair of like comfy joggers to your team. But don't be a tight, but like there's been an environment, there's been environments where I felt like I was wearing tight jeans, tight, just the dryer jeans, the non-sitting jeans. And then so, but one thing I'll say is the bringing your personal life, the flip side is being super mindful that a lot of people don't feel comfortable with personal lives and certain things. You'll have employees that won't celebrate birthdays. Absolutely. And even in like, we're in like this private HR department, sometimes people say, this

person doesn't want their birthday. What the fuck is that? And you're like, well, there's religions that they don't. Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate birthdays. And there's other people that don't want their personal information. Exactly. I saw one recently that was something that was like, oh, this person on my team, we're doing marketing videos. They don't want to be in them. Is that a sign they're looking for another job? They just don't want to be on camera. It's the same thing. And I'll get it Then people are like, and I'll get it frequently, like, oh, someone's taking medical leave.

What should I say to the team? And I generally say to someone, ask that person. And say to that person, people are going to ask and say, I'm happy to say, this is private information. I said, but what is your level of comfort? And I just said, my number one advice to people frequently is ask the person that they're comfortable and be comfortable telling people like that's private. And so I can't, I'm not going to share that, you know, this, but a lot of times people will just follow someone's lead and asking them because that's the flip side of that is where people,

you know, may not feel as comfortable or they might, but just asking them before you say things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of times too with leaves, because pretty much in every job that I've ever worked at, I actually am a leave expert. But she talks about that shit. She's like, she won't see rushing off her shoulder. But the danger is when we get the DMs from people, they're like, great, can you advise me on this?

No, I'm not going to send them to Jamie. I'm not advising you on it. I don't know shit about that. Jamie is the lead expert. She's an expert. She's not your expert. Okay. Jamie, I need to take a seat. Anyway, all I was saying to that was a lot of times there are people that are very comfortable with sharing their business and they'll be like, oh, too comfortable.

Yeah, too comfortable. Too comfortable. And there's some that are not, but in, in to echo the birthday thing is I asked that in pre-onboarding, I say, do you want your birthday celebrated? I ask, um, if they have any dietary restrictions, any allergies, um, I asked if even if their anniversary date with the company, would they want that celebrated? Like I ask all those things because I will then

make sure that moving forward, we don't recognize birthdays, or even that we sign a release for our marketing, that they're able to not be included on any kind of video or photos. So just being aware of other people's needs and wants. And sometimes that private group that we're in on Facebook, Ashley and I are constantly tagging each other. I don't make a face without tagging Cheenie.

Like, she's my like, my like twink and join. I'm shocked. And he's like, no, thank you. A little. I'm not on the Facebook. Almost a little disappointed too, when sometimes I see things in there, because it's an HR professional group, because I'm like, come on, y'all. I'm glad they're asking the question, but then you're also like, why are you asking

the question? Yes, appreciate that they're at least reaching out and asking the question, but at the same time it's almost a little disappointing because I'm like, come on guys, like, yes, it's normal. It's just, if someone doesn't want to, it's okay. Yeah, it's going to be okay. Yeah. I really struggle. A lot of times people don't want personal information because of that lack of trust,

because they've been in situations where they shared things and then they were laid off suddenly and you're like, I can't, I can't do that. And so, but there's other times of like, you know, I've done this with my parents in the last January had had cancer surgery. My dad was like, not telling anybody, like not telling. And I was like, how do you like, my mom was like, well, you know, open. My dad finally, finally did. But like there's like, you know, there's just, it's just kind of a different personality. I remember like I hadn't posted anything about it till like, you know, I did.

And yeah, but, but, but the flip side of that is like my, my mom worked, so we were, she lives in Louisville, but she worked in Frankfurt. basically it's like an hour long drive. So many of her colleagues, because I was home for a lot of that, they came, they did meal train, came and supported her, came and like I went to her retirement in December, I went to my dad's recently. And like it's really hard because of that person, I get why people don't want to share that. But also some of those people you surround yourself with, sometimes having that silver lining of people that you can trust and like,

you know, you go through the ups and downs, they're there to celebrate thing, but they're also, you go through the shit, they're there showing up with that meal or that level of support or that text. And those are people like I, and we've talked about this with work besties, still having those text groups of, you got to be mindful of who you share, but as leaders, as HR, one of the privileges you have is to build those levels of trust and to really create that environment where people feel safe sharing whatever they feel comfortable with. And I think you do that by being a good support. I think you kind of, what's it, put your money where your mouth is.

I know I'm trying to think of a phrase. I do really suck at adages. I get them all mixed up all the time. Like how I did earlier, three shits to the wind. But you know, I think that you model that behavior, create that safe space. Jamie gave such a lovely example of being, oh, so what did you do this weekend? Oh, but you don't have to, don't feel any pressure. I'm just genuinely interested in you. Jamie me. But you don't have to, you know, you don't have to, I mean, don't feel any pressure. I'm just genuinely interested in you. Jamie, me, she needs it.

But you don't have to, you know, you don't have to share or whatever, but, you know, just being approachable in that way and creating safe spaces, you know, that allow the people the opportunity, give them at least the recognition that they can share if they like without forcing it or being like injured, you know, if someone doesn't want to, you know, play the same way that they do, you know, I think that's great because you do have all types, because again, whatever's happening out there is what's happening in your workplace, all different types of people. And so they're not going to share. That's what your customer base is. And that's okay. Right. That's not being,

you know, you have that this one didn't, didn't want to participate in our team building activity. You know what? Like, or even like the outside events from work. Like I've heard that so many times. I'm like, okay, well, so and so is a single dad or a single mother. And they have to go like, yeah, we get that. We get that coming up because we'll say like, offering those opportunities, I do think matters.

But then people are like, but it cannot be held against you if you don't participate. And people have seen it is because you see that that situation. Yeah, those things have got to be optional. Now I'm curious, have you all ever seen where people bring, you know, their personal lives into work or, or maybe not, but other people find their personal lives and bring the other people's personal lives into work? You know what I mean? Like people finding my show socials and I didn't, you know, I wasn't really sharing that, but that's fine. But have you seen a little like, you know, interesting things, criminal activities, behaviors, social stuff, accounts,

OnlyFans, I mean, you name it. I always get asked if I've had that, but no, not personally. Yeah. I mean, like personally, I've had my TikTok sent like to my own boss. Now, luckily I had already told my own boss, you know, what I do. Surprise, surprise. Yeah. Like, you know, they're doing it maliciously. Oh yeah. They're trying to stick it.

But what are these going to happen? They're going to get ahead by fucking up your work life. Yeah, they're doing it maliciously, but I've already disclosed it was on my resume, or whatever it wasn't. You know what I mean? I'm right at humor. It wasn't on my resume. I have many followers.

I have gathered a very strong following. Chief meme officer is on my resume with my work life. I have many followers. I have gathered a very strong following. Chief meme officer is on my resume with my work life. I have many followers. I have gathered a very strong following. Chief meme officer is on my resume with my work life. I have many followers. I have gathered a very strong following. Chief meme officer is on my resume with my LLC now. Now.

Doesn't really say how many followers I have, but anyway. It's not a bullet. Yeah, no. It's just a little... A quantifiable bullet on your resume. But I have had that happen and I've had people, same thing with me, And I always say, okay, well, they're not disparaging the company. They are not wearing something with their company's logo. I don't care if they did it during work time because we're flexible.

Is their work still getting done? Was their last performance review five stars or whatever? You caught whatever. Like, I know you caught someone doing something. Yeah, right. You know, I really don't think I don't either. And even even though like drugs, it's I people putting their drugs out on look at my supply. I have had people who want to meet me in the cafeteria. I don't know. My mind was like drugs in my butt.

I don't know why. I don't know why. I'm the mule. I'm you and I'm going on a quick job. I'm using my PTO. If anyone wants me to bring something back, no luggage, just me. Got to fit. No, I just like.

She's like, oh God. Excuse me. Because I'm trying to make a point. I know. Make the point. Cause it will be a good one. No, but like someone had a profile picture with like a cloud of smoke and they were like, Oh, they're smoking weed.

I'm like, I, maybe their house is on fire, bitch. You should have called the police. Uncaring, uncaring. What kind of co-worker is that? Rude. They send it like anonymously to me. I'm the best. And I'm like, I don't care.

They're not coming to work fucked up. They're getting their work done. They do that. They love the anonymous. I'm going to send it to Jamie, Detective Jackson. Do you know how many times? All the mug shots I've received. Oh my God.

Like from anonymous emails. Like whatever. Like fucking get a hobby. It is not stalking your coworkers, social media, like, you know, fucking life. Like, for real, it is. I mean, it's it's funny because like they say HR is a narc. Who's the narc bitch? I never give a shit. I never give a shit.

Just always your boss that comes to me complaining. Just don't come to work. Yeah, it's you. I never give a shit. I never give a shit. Just always your boss that comes to me complaining. Why are you fired? I don't care. I'm never looking. I do not care. Because that's more work for me. But the problem is people are like when a chart gets notified at times we have this obligation to try to do something about it. And then you're like, I mean you don't want to. Gosh, stop obliging me to do my job. It's so rude. I'll have a quick story about only fans. Oh, okay. And so this happens. Yeah, I just feel like this fits right now. But I had a manager approach me and say, so and so is on only fans. And I looked him dead in the eyes. I said, how the fuck do you know that? Amazing.

Oh, man. I love that. Sir, how do you know that? Short and sweet, look at that. And he said, well, well, well. Turn your ass around, get out of my office. Yeah, he was like, well, so and so told me. And she told her that she has.

And I was like. She probably give her a raise then. And I said. She's having to, you know. Because she's giving other people a raise. No, I said, okay. I said, I said, have you seen any of it? And he was like, oh, no, you got to wait for it. Was there a free plan? I don't know. Is it free plan? I know if I don't, I honestly don't know. I'm looking at Katie. I know you did. I'm sorry. I do. I did not dive that deep because once again, I don't give a shit. Literally do not.

I do. I do. I did not dive that deep because once again, I don't give a shit. Literally do not care. And I was a little bitchy, but I looked him dead in the face and I said, I know how much we pay her. So, cause I do. And it wasn't a lot. I said, I do. Like I'm still working there. I was like, I know how much we pay her. And as long as she's not wearing our, our like swag, our merch or have our name tag company thongs. Yeah. Company thongs. I was like, I do not care because I see how much we

pay her. I literally said to him, I said, bitch can get her bag like this like eight in my office. That's a well, I like that. But do you do y'all see how I am at work? Like this is how I am. I because and and I tell you what he shut up real quick and walked out. But and I never told that girl that like I never why you know what I mean, you know, but right.

But there's some people in HR and that's that's where you got to be in HR with confidentiality. Sometimes you shut down that conversation and you don't need to go tell that person those things. No, no, no, no. Yeah. I was never, I don't want to do is go to that person and be like, people are talking about your only thing. And then that person's like goes around and yeah. And so that's why HR can be difficult because sometimes you shut that down.

You be, you be the friend to that person. You adjust, you know, you right size everybody's expectations about what they need to know about that. Yeah. And you keep that to yourself and it can be hard to do that. Yeah. Yeah. You know, just know like on things like that though, if you were to have gone to her, she'd

probably be in to say, oh, you know, people have seen your content. She'd probably say good. Yeah. I mean, because people found your TikTok, Lee. Yeah. Good. Okay. Good. Fantastic.

Yeah. Oh, fantastic. That's kind of the point. I know, but that is the point, right? Yeah. You know what I mean? You're like, that's a good reach. Fantastic. That'd be crazy though, if like her boss is subscribing or something.

Like, you know, that's just interesting. My mom was there. Lawyer Ashley has definitely made me, I won't talk in the third person. It's just me. You're only fans? Well, no. You're talking about your own page. I'm going to read babysitter's club books. I'm going to start with super specials.

Well, that's the premium content. Those are long. Oh, yeah. Those are longer. But I'll read the graphic novels first. But when people on social media are complaining about things in the US in particular, there's protections around that. And that's, let me tell you what's a real fun conversation for me to explain to people section seven of the National Labor Relations Act, where two or more, I'm like, well, if that person did it, somebody else liked their post. But just my rule of, not well, my guiding line.

I won't say rule of thumb because that's not, that has some, some origins. That's not a good thing to say. Yeah, don't say rule of thumb. So no, don't say that. But, but- Allegedly. The general is, you know, when people complain on social media, people have a lot more legal, legal, I say people have a lot more legal rights.

And if I'm talking to you, you don't want to have this conversation with me. I don't want to have this conversation with you about the legal rights and, you know, to talk about terms and conditions of employment, but just know you'll sound like an even bigger asshole if, um, if, if you're, you know, someone's griping about you or we'll see now where people are like, Oh, they liked one of like your, your all's posts about like workplaces company. We've had that when people are like, we've literally had that. People liked it and then someone prints it out and brings it to their boss and just, please, that's so weird.

Yeah. People meet people. And to that point, I think we will transition to some questions and comments. I have a comment and this is me getting on a soapbox but I feel like it kind of fits our topic today which is like dress codes. So I have always had a huge issue with with dress codes because I think they're sexist and I think they're actually sometimes can be rather racist and I've always had an issue with them but I think dress code is your authentic self,

you know? And so things I can think of off the top of my head were like, for instance, cleavage. Like yes, there does need to be some level of professionalism, sure, but there are women with much bigger, larger chests than mine. And sometimes- She went from breast to chest real quick, like, no, we. Like, we got to be professional. This is like, you know, they're not gonna, they're not going to be able to find t-shirts or whatever. It's readily. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And like, um,

the, the, the boss that, um, asked me to get her coffee on their first day, she used to come in my cube and stand directly behind me. And I would literally be wearing a shirt, maybe like a little bit, like probably on my collarbone. And she'd be like, well, I can see your cleavage. I'm like, bitch, you're looking down my fucking shirt. Literally, I couldn't say that to her. By the third time, I was like, well, you're, I was like, no one comes. No, because in the key, I was mostly servicing the field. So no one was ever in our corporate office to come up behind me and look down my shirt. I mean, she, it was, I don't have big boobs anyway. So that I hate, you know, nails when nails are an issue that pisses me off.

Professional hairstyle, natural hair. Professional hairstyle. Yeah. Those, like I said, I'll get on the soapbox. One, I'm HR. I'm not the fucking fashion police. If they can do their job, do their job correctly, efficiently, I don't give a shit. Yeah. What they fucking wear, what their nails look like, what their hair looks like. I understand that we might have a dress code, but if they're within the dress, like not a dress code, I'm sorry, a uniform.

Right. And sometimes, like for instance, I remember the same company actually that I had the bitch boss, the coffee, we had a center in Florida, it was our billing office, and our CFO was hell bent on getting the women to wear specific footwear, like heels. Oh, God.

Did he have a fetish? In like South Florida. Oh. Well, no. I like when women just wear this, the shoe. Let me just show you this. Well, he was a silver spoon baby. So like he had a very, like a picture perfect idea of what, and I remember like having to

point blank, I was real catty, but I literally brought up our billing office and what they made. And I said, where? And you want to make this effective Monday. So that means they have to spend the weekend on a not even a pay cycle weekend buying all new clothes, all new shoes, because you don't want to allow them

to wear sandals in South Florida. I said, flip-flops fine. We'll say no flip-flops, but sandals? But this is the shit coming from executives and I have to execute. And I am fighting for as much as I can. And I did finally get him to agree. And he was hell bent on also not having women wear leggings

in the spilling office, which- I've had the legging- I also do not give a shit about leggings. But I'm like, where do you expect them to go get five days a week worth of dress pants for the seventeen dollars an hour that you're paying them in Florida to? Yeah. That's seriously. No, I know. I was.

Yeah. And I'm like, people are generally sitting in their cubes or things like that. Maybe going up and going to the bathroom, like, well, that's distracting. Well, like, oh, and it was, I think there was like maybe two men in that whole fucking office. It's like a control thing. I hate.

Like no golf shirts, right? Yeah. Oh yeah. I do not like dress codes. I mean, I understand that sometimes there needs to be some sort of guideline, but like I said, I do not want to be the fashion police. Sorry, that was no. Yeah, no. Blazing on that. But yeah, I don't disagree. So I do have a comment,

not a question, if I may. I think it's relevant to this conversation, which is good. I'm relevant for once. So that's nice. I just wanted to point that out. But I had a follower slide into my DMs. Are you only supposed to say that if it's sexual? Probably. I don't know. Someone DMed me because the slide is kind of like it's it's suggested. Anyway, yeah. Okay. Sorry about that. I got I got on a tangent. You need lube for sliding. Yeah, the motion motion. But anyways, so a follower DMed me. And she shared with me, and I may have shared this with y'all. I didn't share it with all of y'all, all y'all, the besties. But she shared with me that she was called into the HR office,

and they had evidence of her liking one of my videos and the video was of me pretending to be a boss. Was I pretending to be a boss? No, I was an employee pretending to talk to my boss about their policy and position on remote work and I was not happy with it, I think is what it was. And the HR person said, hey, we've gotten a complaint that you liked HR manifesto's video, and it's about remote work. And so you're obviously very angry at your boss is what this tells us because you liked it.

And she was like in shock. I was like, oh my God, like bless your heart. You're risking it all to follow me. I was like, I appreciate you so much. That was fucking appalling. Appalling, embarrassing. And I was like, girl, that's a parade of red flags. That kind of control. Yeah, get the fuck out there. Brush up your resume and ski. Literally, I was like, and then what did you do? Please tell me.

Yeah, right. She blocked everyone from her office, anyone she could think of that was watching her, following her. But that is gross. If you are wasting your time doing that, get yourself a real job. You have way too much time on your hands. I hope that HR person doesn't listen to this podcast. I'd be shocked if they did. That is a gross overreach. That is disgusting. It can be a hard position when you're in HR and the leader is there somebody's like, we heard about this because there's a flurry of things in HR. You got to find a way to have your to bring that common sense in.

That is one of the best characteristics of being able to let coach insane. Like, okay, in this situation, like what insane, how is that going to sound if we talk to someone and say, we saw that you liked a post. Yes. They threatened her employment. Exactly. For liking a video on the Internet. It could have even been an accident.

You know what I'm saying? Like someone just like prove that what? What? Now you're mad at your boss. I can envision being in front of like a mock jury and something. And this being the kid, this was the reason for that. Trust me, those people will be like, they will be doling out your dollars to pay that person.

I mean, so, but in a car. I also like the, the, the video of the wiener dog. Like what does that mean? My boss is a dick. I mean, you know what I mean? Like, oh, like what is that? Like you're really, I mean, come on, you know what I mean? This is so, ain't that deep?

Okay. Like maybe she just liked my eyelashes. Fuck. You know, I like? This is so, ain't that deep? Okay. Like maybe she just liked my eyelashes. Fuck, you know, and liked the video. Anyway, so thank you for risking it all following me. Like really, thank you so much. You know, we're all, if you're liking me, you may lose your job. You know what I'm saying? I can't even.

I shouldn't probably put that out there, but thank you for following me if you're listening. Question or comment, Ashley? Last, well, I just ran out of comment. We'll bookend it. As I started with the restaurants, one of the nice things about working in a restaurant at times is having to wear those god-awful black, no-slip shoes. Oh, gosh. But the nice thing about them is- They support your feet, though. They do. And generally, there are a lot of shoe stores and big box stores will support the restaurant industry. So oftentimes you can get those for less than $20, which is good.

Or ideally, the employer provides those. But sometimes it's nice to not have to choose something else going to work. And so having a nice pair of comfy, no-slip shoes can be better than trying to figure out what kind of sandal am I going to wear and is that going to end me up in HR's office today. But I've had those shoes and they're beautiful. They're orthopedic-ish. Yeah, I like a good, I have to admit, I like a good orthopedic shoe or bad orthopedic shoe, just an orthopedic shoe.

Thank you for bringing your true self to this meeting with that. I realize you're bringing your personal lives here to the workplace. I have a like for that. So there you go. Look at us. It's inclusivity in action. Yeah. That's as Lee would not agree with me on the style aspect of it.

She's very fashion on the foot. But a good comfy shoe is nice. Yeah. Well, I like a comfy shoe. I do like a comfy shoe. But on that note, thank you both for being so you, especially in this meeting. And if you are listening, we hope you have the opportunity to be you wherever you choose to be.

So we are thankful for all y'all, as I would say all Texan and shit. But thank you so much for listening besties. Enjoy the rest of your day.