HR BESTIES - HR Besties Happy Hour - Unless They Are Crowning in the Conference Room…

Episode Date: October 4, 2024

Welcome back to another Happy Hour, Besties! We’re sure as hell glad it’s Friday. In this Happy Hour: Happy Q4 or 4Q Social breaks Don't assume... like, ever Cringe comments courtesy of LinkedIn Your To-Do List: Grab merch, submit Questions & Comments, and make sure that you’re the first to know about our In-Person Meetings (events!) at https://www.hrbesties.com. Follow your Besties across the socials and check out our resumes here: https://www.hrbesties.com/about.  We look forward to seeing you in our next meeting - don’t worry, we’ll have a hard stop! Yours in Business + Bullsh*t,  Leigh, Jamie & Ashley Follow Bestie Leigh! https://www.tiktok.com/@hrmanifesto https://www.instagram.com/hrmanifesto https://www.hrmanifesto.com Follow Bestie Ashley! https://www.tiktok.com/@managermethod  https://www.instagram.com/managermethod https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyherd/ https://managermethod.com Follow Bestie Jamie! https://www.millennialmisery.com/ Humorous Resources: Instagram • YouTube • Threads • Facebook • X Millennial Misery: Instagram • Threads • Facebook • X Horrendous HR: Instagram • Threads • Facebook Tune in to “HR Besties,” a business, work and management podcast hosted by Leigh Elena Henderson (HRManifesto), Ashley Herd (ManagerMethod) and Jamie Jackson (Humorous_Resources), where we navigate the labyrinth of corporate culture, from cringe corporate speak to toxic leadership. Whether you’re in Human Resources or not, corporate or small business, we offer sneak peeks into surviving work, hiring strategies, and making the employee experience better for all. Tune in for real talk on employee engagement, green flags in the workplace, and how to turn red flags into real change. Don't miss our chats about leadership, career coaching, and takes from work travel and watercooler gossip. Get new episodes every Wednesday and Friday, follow us on socials for the latest updates, and join us at our virtual happy hours to share your HR stories. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Happy Friday, besties. It's October. Oh, gosh. I can't believe it. I know. Spooky season is upon us. I love it. Happy Q4 to all who celebrate.

Now, let me ask you this. When I worked in my corporate sales job from 20 years ago that we've heard about a little bit, we called it Q4, but lately I hear a lot of people calling it 4Q. What do you all call it? Really? Q4? Both. 4Q, mostly probably, but either works.

We always said Q4. I remember when I heard 4Q, it's like you hear those terms and all of a sudden you doubt everything you ever knew. So happy 4QR, 4Q, you know, it's like you hear those terms and all of a sudden you doubt everything you ever knew. So happy 4QR, 4Q, Q4. Or Q4. QR codes? Yeah, happy 4Q, Q4. Happy time to get all that revenue that in February like this, we'll get this in Q4

and you're like, oh shit, it's here. Oh, I know. Tomato, tomato, Q4, 4Q, right? It's just personal preference. Yeah. Oh, but we did it. Whatever your boss says, just say. Exactly. That's exactly the right thing to do. What the hell is going on? We made it through another week.

Recovering from Vegas? Anything up? Definitely. You know, I stayed over the weekend. Yeah, you crazy son of a bitch. I know. I stayed over the weekend. So I think I had nearly two full weeks in Vegas. My skin, dry as the Mojave Desert that surrounds Vegas. Yes, for real. Oh man, because you know, I'm from a wet place, San Antonio. It is humid. And so I'm used to that moisture. So everything's recovering about me, especially my introversion and all

of that. But I had a really good weekend. Did a few bucket lists kind of Vegas things. I was behaved. I did not get arrested. So that was good. Well, there's a big line between behaving and getting arrested. And I hope you lived in that nice gray or maybe sequined area that Vegas can hold. Exactly. Exactly. But no, it was good. It was good. But yeah, still on recovery. You all too, still recovering from the Vegas? I think I'm okay. I think. I took a nice detox though from social media this weekend, which

is the first time in four years that I've even had my pages that I've like not posted for a full 48 hours. And that was, it was pretty incredible, like not being on. But I also feel so out of touch with everything that's going on because I get so much information from social media. That sounds really sad and pathetic, but- That's where you get your news. Yeah, kind of. I mean, I watched the news, but you know, it's so like a lot of the flooding in like Asheville, North Carolina, like I knew about it from the news, but it's different when you see videos from people posting it. So I'm, you know, I'm

almost being it's just, it was, it was a nice to have that little 48 hours of not posting and not thinking about posting. But like I said, I just feel out of touch now. I can't believe you've never taken a break from social. No, I'm chronically online. It's not cute. Oh my God. I mean, I have taken weeks off.

Yeah. Like weeks off, you know, to where people are like, are you okay? I should tell people beforehand. I guess I will the next time I do a little hiatus. But it helps. And they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. You kind of rediscover your social accounts. Were you happy to get back to them or back on them? Yes, for sure. For sure. I was ready ready to post and I had like funny memes that I thought of and that I whipped up real quick. But like, yeah, it was a weird, it was definitely a weird feeling though. Just, I don't know, because I, you know, you just like you, for

instance, Lee, you send me silly things. You know, your algorithm is trash, a trash can, and you send funny stuff. And so, like, I miss even, like, things like that, like, silly videos. Yeah, you're wondering, what's Lee's algorithm up to today? What trash has washed up upon shore, right? Yeah, what's the trash can going to bring me today? It's like when you've been out of town a couple weeks during garbage day and so you have a whole stack stacked up and say you had that awaiting you. Junk mail. You're going through the junk mail. Yeah, exactly. Did I get a check? Did I get a check from Nana? No, but it's political season.

You've got a million ads. Okay, here we are. Well, I think it's, I think it's, I'm so happy and I noticed that you were offline. I thought that's probably a good thing to take a break. And I was excited to see you back online. But I do think there's a lot of algorithms with, or not algorithms, a lot of, what is that, allegories? Allegories with work? Yeah, like similarities with work.

If you've been in one of those roles where you're like, always on, always on, always on. And then you go to a job that has absolute boundaries and you're like, always on, always on, always on. And then you go to a job that has absolute boundaries, and you're almost looking around. What in the Wizard of Oz is this? Yeah. And so if you're a manager in HR or whatever you're doing, if you have sway over your team and your team

tends to work constantly, even if it's just saying, gosh, I realize we're constantly always on, why don't we just try this weekend? Just take a break, just take a break. Again, be mindful if you're in, if you have people on call, things like that, like a healthcare emergency. But if you say that to your team,

it can be a way to ease it in because a lot of people are like, oh, I just do it, it's fine out of habit. But then when you have the flip side and have that break, it allows people to actually recharge in the way that we all claim that we do on LinkedIn. But you don't unless you have the support to do it. Yeah. And I think leaders should be the ones to model that too.

And stick by that. If they're saying we're taking 48 hours of true off time, then OK, leader, you have to be the one to stick by that too. And not be like sending things, being like, but don't worry about it till Monday. Because people are like, well, I'm going to worry about it from Saturday at 2.13 p.m. through absolutely Saturday night at 1.14 a.m. when I can't sleep about this. And so I appreciate you telling me I don't need to, but my brain doesn't hear that. Exactly. Like actions speak so much louder than words, don't they? I mean, they really, really do. So I love that, Jamie, like totally model that behavior. Oh, and whether you're

a an actual like leader on paper or not, right, you can still be a leader within your teams for your peers and create those healthy boundaries, take those breaks. Good for you, Jamie, because I cannot believe you haven't taken a break in four years. I'm over here like, break, break, break, break, break, you know? But for mental health, oh my gosh, it's a lot. Yes. Yeah. Well, and I think, you know, I post memes. Like, let's, you know, it's not like that.

It's not that serious. And so, and I know that like I bring joy, not necessarily me, but like my page and some things that I post can bring people joy. So I, there's some weird guilt, I feel, if I'm not. To happiness. Yeah, like, because it's not, you know, when I'm obviously you guys are producing like content that's helpful and you have to sit down and film and usually I'm literally putting some text over a photo.

You know what I mean? So for me, I just feel like there's no break to be had, I guess. But it was nice and I do want to make sure that I'm doing that more often just to have that time with my family, I think. Oh yeah, you need to. Good for you. See, setting the example, setting the example, whether you're an influencer, content creator like Jamie or not, we all need breaks. It's just from the constant bombardment of the social shit and just sitting there on your phone. I mean, you know, all of that, you know, like, we all need those breaks.

Oh, gosh. I agree. But I like seeing and I like seeing, you know, don't undercut yourself. You bring a lot of joy to a lot of people, including now that you've started to put yourself more into videos on Chief Meme Officer. I love seeing that because I know that you've been doing memes and it can be hard. I know how hard it is to start hitting. I know how hard it is to start hitting. I know how hard it feels for me. And so I know what it can be like. But putting your face

out there, I love seeing, I love when Jamie is posting more on her. So give Jamie some love. Building the brand, building the brand. Building it. Yep. Go follow her, Chief Meme Officer. Yep. I'm trying. I'm trying. chief meme officer. Yep, I'm trying, I'm trying. After decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists,

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was a heat advisory while we were there. I went outside once, I think. Same. Same. Same. It was literally just to get fresh air. Like, I came down from lunch and lunch had just stopped being served. So I was like, oh, I got to go to the food court. So I'm like, I'm going to take matters into my own hands and walk across the valet, hopefully not get hit by a car because that is the way it would end by me trying to get us at 30 seconds of fresh air and went to my first employer subway and had delicious, delicious sub sitting there.

Hashtag conference life, you know, gotta love it. Conference life. Yeah. I'm glad you guys look good because I'm not looking my best these days according to my tennis opponent earlier in the week. This makes me want to drive down to Atlanta just so you know. And punch someone in the crotch. Saw the video, saw the video.

If you haven't yet, go check out this video everybody, manager methods. So if you saw my video this week on Tuesday, Tuesday, I think Monday, gosh, the days blend together, but look back. And it was a video on not asking or assuming that women are pregnant. And in the video, I say not doing that at work or in life. And it was like some things inspired by real life. And so on Sunday, I was playing tennis. For those familiar with

Atlanta. Atlanta has this crazy doubles league called Alta. And I did not play tennis growing up, but I started playing 20 years ago. And so I was playing a doubles match with my partner and I had been serving and was hitting and all of a sudden this, my opponents, one of them was yelling like, let, let. Major position means like the ball's coming in the court. And she's like, don't move, like crazy. And I was like, oh, so thankfully I listened as opposed to sometimes, you know, people will say that and you start moving. But so I looked down and there's like a ball at my feet. I'm like, oh, and the woman's opponent partner was like, oh, gosh, like that was

so loud. And she's like, well, she's pregnant, pointing to me. And I, like, it took a second. And I look at her and I just stared. And I go, I'm sorry. And a partner looks and points to me, she goes, are you pregnant? And I go, I'm not pregnant. No. And then the person that had said it was, she saw that moment that we've all seen at times when someone says something they shouldn't.

And rather than say, this is my thing, if you do say something like that, recognize, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Like, it's going to be awkward no matter what, but own it as opposed to what she did. And starts pointing vaguely at the other court. And she's like, no, I meant her, the other two people on my team, neither of whom are pregnant on the other court. And vaguely, like someone's name start with a B.

Oh, she just had a little freak out. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, she had a freak out. Totally, and again, like I've had those times when you spell out, like you say something you shouldn't, you're like, oh my God, spiraling, what do I do? She just started speaking in tongues. Told her to speak in tongues.

And I was like, no, I'm not pregnant, and I'm not an idiot, I know what you said. And she's like, just like, ugh. And I was just like, and like, it's so awkward. So awkward. But also I'm like, I mean, I probably gained like five pounds in part because I probably haven't been prioritizing my exercise like I need to, especially because I'm running this marathon in March.

But I felt so upset because it's so embarrassing. Like, that's happened two other times, both of which times at least I have like a six month old. But like, you know, my kids are 10 and 13. And so I was so, so my, luckily my partner, she's like five, 10, she was a fitness model. Like she's like, she was like to me, she's like, let's fuck them up. She's like, she's like, we are taking this. She's like, she's like, what do you mean? She was, she was like a combination of Jamie and Lee in that time. And so she was like, she's like, what do you mean? She was, she was like a combination of Jamie and Lee in that time. And so she was like, wow, what the fuck do you want me to do? And I'm like laughing and she's like, and she's like, I'm sorry.

I was like, oh my God, I was like, I think I've made videos about this. I tried to look later and I couldn't find one. So that's why I made one earlier in the week. But she's like, no ma'am, Paige, girlfriend Paige. She was like, unless you see that see that baby crowning, crowning in the second, you do not acknowledge, you do not guess, you do not assume. And I was like, totally. So Paige gets credit for the line in my video.

Unless they're crowning in the conference room. So anyway, note, and some people are like, oh, when men say this, no, three times in my life, and I can tell you the time second place this happened, every time it was females. So just don't please ever do that. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Well, and you know, as you're talking,

I'm remembering all the times that it's been said to me too. And I remember as being as young as 16, working at TCBY and like having a lady say something to me. And we had like, first of all, we had extra large shirts and I definitely wasn't an extra large. And we had to wear khaki shorts. And so I was like, my stomach wasn't like protruding. Like I just, I remember being so hurt by that, but like here we are, I'm what, 42? And that was when I was like 16, maybe 17. And yeah, and I'm like, still remember that bitch.

It stays with you. And like, I'd like to say I didn't care. But like also when it's one thing if someone says that and you're like, what are you talking about? But of course, in my mind, I'm like, God, I have those five pounds to lose. So the haunch and we lost the match was also which also. I was going to ask, I was hoping you got three justice. No. So I finished. I called Dan, my husband, and I'm crying because I'm like, well,

it's just it's like right your most insecurities. And someone just, she fucked up. She said something she shouldn't. But like, please do not say that. Just don't unless the person says, I'm pregnant. Oh, gosh. Don't ever assume. Yeah. And then like, I'm pregnant. Oh, gosh. Don't ever assume, yeah. Yeah, and then like, oh my god.

We have got to stop making comments on people's bodies. And honestly, mostly it's females, right? It's women. I mean, look what you shared, Jamie, that stuck with you for however long, if I could do math, right? But I'm in HR. That's a long, long time, you know? And same with me, right? I think of all the times That's a long, long time, you know? And same with me, right?

I think of all the times people have made some comment on something, you know, and just you don't forget it, you know? So, Ashley, you don't think she did that to get to you mentally? Like it was literally just a slip like that? Like, or do you think they were fucking with you? Were you ahead at the time? Well, so we had lost, we lost the first set. We got our asses handed to us. We were up in the second set and we did end up winning a tiebreaker, so we were up. People in tennis are crazy.

I understand pickleball can be kind of the same and I guess life can be the same and people have angles. If she had done that on purpose, then I will drive back over to Marietta and show up at their tennis court and wait, I don't know when they practice, then I would really, I would have gone crazy. I have to, I will assume good intent and thought that she honestly just thought I was pregnant and not. But so, like that would be next level.

And it's not, it is not beneath. And so like, hopefully we get some, well well hopefully we don't get comments of people but I guarantee you people will say of like things like that like in sports or at work when people will make that savage comment. Psychological warfare for sure that's where my mind went. I was like oh yeah that to get you off your game. That's a very good point though I didn't even think about that. Like somebody else said that they're like oh she's just trying to she's just trying to mess with you. And I was like, no, I mean, but anyway, it didn't. And I was like, I mean, and I'm like, I'm mouth it like, I don't like drama. I don't like drama ever. I certainly don't like drama on the tennis court.

But I was like, mouth. Like, this is some altiship right here. I'm like, this is such some out and trying to pretend like you didn't just say it. I'm like, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr. Because all I wanted to do was leave. I want to leave and get in my car and cry by myself and not have to sit here face to face and pretend like I'm happy or just not feeling anger and embarrassment. But it's the other.

And so a lot of the comments you've seen, things like that that of people that are women that might be of childbearing age, the comments that you get there of people like, are you going to be trying? That's so weird. Yeah, that's so weird. Are you doing it? Yeah, that's so weird. Yeah, are you doing it? Are you having protection? It's weird. But I've had that question asked to me, are you planning on having kids near? Because if you weren't, you'd weird. Like, but I've had that question asked to me, like, are you planning on having kids near? Because if you weren't, you'd be like the first, you'd be the, like, when I started as a new associate in a law firm, so I was like, I don't know, 26, let's say, one of the assistants had said, like, well, I guarantee you're going to pump out that baby as soon

as you're eligible for a maternity leave. If you don't, you'd be the first. And I was like, what the fuck? What? first and I was like, what the fuck? I'll tell you a story. We had someone on our team recently come back from maternity leave and I was talking about how I would love to hold the baby and smell the baby. And my boss looks at me dead in the eyes and she said, don't get any ideas. Bitch. I just am talking about how I want to hold the baby. And I'm like, you're like, why? Like, you know, it's not like we're getting it in the US, like our global audiences are like,

Oh, my God, I know. Canadian colleagues and they're like, I'll see in a year, I'll see in two years, all that. It's not like you're getting anything. They're like, I'll see you in about five and a half minutes after you have that baby. So literally six to eight weeks. No paid leaves in the US. A lot of people don't know that I was on business travel last year and share that at a dinner party. No paid maternity leaves. They're like, what? I was like, yeah, it's like us in two other countries, Pakistan and Syria or something. I mean, like literally, you know, so they were like, what,

you don't get paid, what, you know, and so then I'd explain, And so then I'd explain how, whoo, so just, gosh. Yeah, just don't fucking assume people. with no preset spending limit. More cash on hand to grow your business with up to 55 interest-free days. And the ability to reach further with access to over 1,400 airport lounges worldwide. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit amex.ca slash business platinum.

Well, damn, Ashley, I'm sorry, but I think she was trying to, I think she was trying to mess with you. I really do. Personally, I think she's that that sinister. You went up ahead a little bit on the set. That's why I asked what the status was. You had that tiebreaker and then it was going into something pretty dramatic, especially with her partner coming in like that. You know what I'm saying? To me, that was planned. So I really don't think you look pregnant personally. Not that it's any of my business and you didn't ask me. And I know you didn't. I know you didn't. Okay? I know you didn't.

So don't give them that mental space because they were doing that to mess with you. And then they won. Look, bitches. I know. And now they jumped over us in the place as well, the standings too. Gosh. So they never apologized, right? No, never. Of course not. See, that's why it was on purpose. Yeah. See, I would be mortified.

Yes. That was not on purpose. Yeah. I would have apologized 413 times. And I would have been like, I'm just going to give up. My partner would have killed me because I would have been like, I got a forfeit. I'm so sorry. The least I can do is give you the point. I'm so sorry. Oh my God.

I've had that. That's so awful. Nobody should ever say that. I'd still be talking about it. I'd be standing there to this day. That's what tells me it's on purpose. Think about it. You know what I'm saying?

I know. My other opponent on the other court was like, my other like another teammate on the other court later was like, what was happening during the match? Did somebody say pregnant? And I was like, oh my gosh, mortified. Sure did. At me. She's like, what the? Oh. So just when you escape, like I've seen, I've seen, I've seen people, I know, crying on the tennis court. I've said, I've said it to partners before, like in mixed doubles, I had a match this summer and I said to someone who was a man, I said, who was like my partner, but he was rude and rude.

And every time I'd hit, like if he missed a shot, he'd be like, Oh, I need you to get that. Finally, I was like, listen, I do not play this game to feel worse about myself. It is a weekend. Like, but it's like that, just. God, have you all ever faux pod like that? I did it once, okay? I did it once, but I didn't say, are you pregnant?

I said, congrats. On what? And they said, they looked at me kind of confused on what? I was like, does everything going on in your life. So I smoothed it out. But I'll tell you what, I mean, I would have bet money in Vegas. That's what I mean. I would have bet money in Vegas.

It was perfectly, I mean, it was six months pregnant. Look, I mean, it was perfect. Perfect. The weight distribution. I mean, perfect. I mean, I would have bet money, you know? And so I just said congrats. And they're like, on what?

On everything going on in your life, girl. It is so great to see you. They're listening now and they're going to be like, I knew it. 20 years ago. 20 years ago. 20 years ago. Heather. Was it Heather that never gave you the response back to the interview?

Oh, I know. The response from the interview? See, I'd go up to her and fight with her. I'd go, are you pregnant? She's like 60. I don't know. Jamie, have you thought about anything like that? I mean, not that I can remember off the top of my head.

Yeah, you'd remember. Yeah, not that I can remember. I mean, I've embarrassed myself for sure, but not that I've... Not on the pregnancy thing. Yeah, not on, at least not on the pregnant thing, I don't think. Oh my gosh. No, not on that. And partially, partially is because, maybe not partially, I mean, I definitely have had the experience myself. Like I was like 32, I think the first time someone said that to me. But just take this lesson. If you've never had this experience, you take it as a lesson from your Friday happy hour to please not do that at work or life.

Yeah. And it wasn't a stranger thing. I mean, I'm trying to over here justify it. I was young, okay? It wasn't someone I went to high school with, but anyways. Oh, man. I just said congrats. You mentioned walking up some someone at the grocery store.

Congrats. Congrats. Congrats on everything. I probably, people would go on LinkedIn and they'd be like, I was at the grocery store and someone just came up to me and said, congrats on everything in life. And that spurred on my success. Yeah. Well, we hadn't seen each other since high, you know, it was kind of, it made sense.

Whatever. But you know, I was weird then. I'm still weird. So fuck. She's probably like this fucking weird bitch. She's still weird, you know, since high school. It made sense. I was weird then. I'm still weird. So fuck. She's probably like this fucking weird bitch. She's still weird since high school. But you know what this makes me think of? And I laugh. I mean, a couple of times I've cried laughing every time it comes up, but it's that meme of Paris Hilton that's kissing That random woman like in a village. Pregnant. You know, because she thought she was pregnant. Like what? Was that real?

I don't even know. I'm looking at Jamie like she knows the accuracy of every meme, you know. I'm pretty, yes. I'm like 99% sure that was real. And she really thought, yeah. Oh, so at least we didn't do that. Yeah, at least it wasn't photographed and created into a meme for years and years to come.

And you're being kissed. Congrats. On what? On everything. Your whole life. On everything. When you said faux pas, I was clenching my, you know, my. Your womb.

Obviously, my non-existent abs. It's like your pearls, your butthole. But yeah, so that's it. So that's, that's our weekend, weekend thing. So I'll be doing all the things. So you'll be in recovery for that for the next few years. I've been, yeah, I've been so gotten up. I go, I mean, I will. I'm going to, when I get into my shape shape that I aspire to be in, I'm going to show back up there. I'm going to email the out to coordinator, make sure we have another match scheduled. And it's going to be, Oh,

is your sister, wasn't your sister on this team? Your pregnant sister? Here I am. She did it on purpose. But like, if life gives you lemonade, make content. That's what I say now, so. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Exactly. Yeah, you had the last word, so that's nice. You've taught lessons.

Someone's gonna stop themselves here after listening to this. But I got, I posted it on LinkedIn as well. Now videos on LinkedIn, like as of the last few weeks, like videos are going kind of wild on LinkedIn. And so you start getting some comments, usually I'll get comments from the same like 10 people who I'm like, oh, like I love my LinkedIn, LinkedIn besties. I just got a comment before our happy hour that I'd seen. It was like, so now we is a man. It was like, so now we can't celebrate the life achievements of anyone at work.

This is why I'll never work in a company that has an HR department. Oh, get fucked, Glenn. I'll put it on our HR besties. Look at me going to your LinkedIn right now. How did he get to that point mentally? That is so bizarre, you know? Well, especially on LinkedIn when you people put things on their own name, maybe real, maybe fake.

I know, that is fascinating, you know? But that's what we're dealing with. That is why we have HR, because of that man right there, actually, just FYI, you know what I mean? Oh, man, they say it takes all types, but does it really? You know what I mean? I don't know. No, I think some types could remove themselves

from the workforce and just take a break. And I think we would not actually date HR as much as we would. So, anyway. Could be excluded. Yeah. We might not be required at that point if people actually use their brains. Oh my gosh.

Well, congrats on that note just on everything going on in life, you know. Congrats, congrats.