HR BESTIES - Imposter Syndrome

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Today’s agenda:  Please, keep your junk at home Cringe corporate speak: Right Size Hot topic: Imposter Phenomenon What causes this feeling? Focusing on the facts Strategies to lift yourself and others up Questions/Comments  Your To-Do List: Grab merch, submit Questions & Comments, and make sure that you’re the first to know about our In-Person Meetings (events!) at https://www.hrbesties.com. Follow your Besties across the socials and check out our resumes here: https://www.hrbesties.com/about.  We look forward to seeing you in our next meeting - don’t worry, we’ll have a hard stop! Yours in Business + Bullsh*t,  Leigh, Jamie & Ashley Follow Bestie Leigh! https://www.tiktok.com/@hrmanifesto https://www.instagram.com/hrmanifesto https://www.hrmanifesto.com Follow Bestie Ashley! https://www.tiktok.com/@managermethod  https://www.instagram.com/managermethod https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyherd/ https://managermethod.com Follow Bestie Jamie! https://www.millennialmisery.com/ Humorous Resources: Instagram • YouTube • Threads • Facebook • X Millennial Misery: Instagram • Threads • Facebook • X Horrendous HR: Instagram • Threads • Facebook Tune in to “HR Besties,” a business, work and management podcast hosted by Leigh Elena Henderson (HRManifesto), Ashley Herd (ManagerMethod) and Jamie Jackson (Humorous_Resources), where we navigate the labyrinth of corporate culture, from cringe corporate speak to toxic leadership. Whether you’re in Human Resources or not, corporate or small business, we offer sneak peeks into surviving work, hiring strategies, and making the employee experience better for all. Tune in for real talk on employee engagement, green flags in the workplace, and how to turn red flags into real change. Don't miss our chats about leadership, career coaching, and takes from work travel and watercooler gossip. Get new episodes every Wednesday and Friday, follow us on socials for the latest updates, and join us at our virtual happy hours to share your HR stories. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Old Red. Old Red. You ever work with somebody nicknamed Old Red before? Let me tell you about Old Red. Well, one day, Old Red, he made a little boo-boo in the office, not as in a doo-doo boo-boo, but he made a little mistake. And what Old Red did was he accidentally uploaded some personal photos to a very public work drive. And he didn't realize that he had done that, who did pretty much the rest of the office. One person finds that out. They tell somebody. It comes to HR.

And so we call Red in. We say, hey, did you upload some photos onto the shared drive, right, into a shared folder? And he says, no, no, can't say I did. Nope, didn't do that. Are you sure? No, no, I don't think I did. That's when you turn the monitor around. Is this you? It's a big flaming red bush and a penis. Fire crotch! It's a fire crotch. It's official. Oh my God.

Like why do you think he's called Old Red? There's no other redhead in this office, sir. Is this not your work? It literally says uploaded by Old Red. For real. The metadata will get you over time. Yes, the metadata. So you just kind of flip it around.

He uploaded a dick pic? A whole bunch of them. Yeah. So his personal collection, I think, just accidentally ended up in a shared drive. How did he respond? Please, please. Oh, he turned red. He turned red everywhere. Yeah. Up and down the curtains, everything turned red. You know what I mean? So, uh, yeah, he was, he was pretty red there. Uh, a bit embarrassed, right? But was just, you know, they just kind of hang their head instantly. They're thinking, right? That's typically the first response anyway that I've seen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's just, you know, they just kind of hang their head instantly. They're thinking, right? That's typically the first response anyway that I've seen.

Yeah, look at it. Yeah. Yeah. He's just like, ah, how am I going to explain this? Yeah. And it's like, ah, well today's your last day. Okay. It really is.

You know? And so, you know, we do frown upon uploading pictures, generals. That's not what we hired you for. Not official work business here, but I know it's your business. You got a lot of business going on. Small business. I know you run a small LLC, but that's okay.

You're a sole proprietorship. I get it. We all got to start somewhere, I guess. We all got to make a buck. Small business Saturday, okay. But yeah, so anyway, that's how we got the nickname, Bold Red. But yeah. That's like getting you're on your way out. Yeah, exactly. You know, and so forever he lives this old

red in our hearts and our minds because we can't wash our minds. Yeah, yeah. Let me ask you this. First of all, when you were saying we I was wondering why did you have more than one person? I the answers that, based on the nature of the conversation. But, I mean, was it a mistake? Is there a world that you can envision that the employer would not end his employment because it was an innocent mistake? Maybe he wouldn't want to work there anymore.

Not with that. Okay. Like that's hard to walk back from, and especially in that workplace, you know? Yeah, yeah. We ain't walking that back. You know, you can't like, un-erect that. You know what I'm saying?

You just can't. I know. I know. But you got to be careful. You do. There's some things you can't, you know, and Norwood, he probably would have done quit. I mean, you know what I mean? Like there's some things you can't like, I'll never forget, had another employer, just a

quickie. Just a quickie. But somebody on a global call, they were in Asia and they're going into kind of US meetings at let's say midnight or so, right off hours, where you've done that with Australia, you're kind of catching it. Anyway, this guy accidentally got into the call

but his camera turned on, he was laying naked in his bed. And people started dinging him, ah da da da da da, you, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da really would fall off the face of the earth. Could you imagine? Yeah. Nope. Oh my god, just lounging naked on a call in the whole global community. Usually, even if it was late, that's not going to happen for me. But yeah, like, wow. You're not just lounging naked on the bed on a phone call. You really can't. You can't really.

Because you can never be too careful. You know what I mean with the video calls? I'm always triple checking checking continuously throughout the meeting. Am I still on? After listening to this, I'm even more so. Oh yeah. And even the little laptop cover thing. Not only do I have it closed on the laptop, but then I have the one that I got from that random conference

that's covering my laptop and I'm like obsessively checking it. Checking it, making sure just in case. Close it harder. Yeah, exactly. To move around. Nope. Exactly.

So, you know, kind of just a little advice from the water cooler is don't upload your junk. No. Okay. I've looked up to him enough. She saw enough of it. Exactly. You don't need to see any of that. I've seen what I him and... She saw enough of it. And you don't need to see any of that. I've seen what I need to see and that's about it.

He didn't need to see it. Yeah, yeah. Well, man, I've seen a lot of junk in HR. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's true. Literally and figuratively. Yeah. Just a lot of junk. gas pump? Get up to 7 cents per liter in value every time you fill up at Petro Canada gas station. When you link an eligible RBC card to your Petro points

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speak and today's cringe corporate speak is brought to us by Ashley. So thank you in advance for covering that portion of the meeting Ashley. And then we will transition into our hot topic of this meeting which is all about imposter syndrome. Oh, imposter syndrome. So what is it we're going to learn about that and what do we do about it or don't? You know all the myths, all the things, right? Imposter syndrome. And then, of course, as we usually do, we will end the meeting with some questions and comments. All right, Ashley, take it away. Okay. So my cringe corporate speak for today is right size. Oh, if it's the intro story. It's the wrong size. And where you tend to hear right size is in a layoff announcement.

And an organization, again, never, we've talked about this in our layoff, so they never want to call the layoff. So sometimes they will call it a right size. And that feels very, very wrong to really everybody, the people who have been laid off and the people who are staying who were like, well, now I feel especially guilty that I'm right and they're not. And so it's a very callous way of saying, you know, our numbers were off and we're going to make decisions and people are going to lose their jobs.

Well, we'll call it right size. So have you all heard this? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yep. And that's exactly it too, right? It's what you said. Like, oh, we were so wrong before.

We fucked up, but we can't say we fucked up by getting too fat and inflating numbers or having duplicitous work or just managing things like shit. Yeah, exactly. So now we're going to right size. Like it really puts lipstick on the pig to use a previous corporate speak that we've covered and just kind of, oh, now, you know, just absolves the sins. It's all fine here. We have to do it. We really have to.

It's not our choice. Exactly. Yeah, I've heard it in that very sense of like a layoff. Yeah, just... Now we're right. Now things are good. Just calm. Because we got rid of all those people. I've heard it in that very sense of like a layoff. Yeah. Just, yep. Now we're right. Now things are good. Just call it a layoff.

Just call it a layoff. I'd say this is it. You recognize this. It's, but don't make people- So we were wrong size, but we're right. Don't make people feel forced up on the way out. That's it. That's the thing.

So yes, right size. If we can just do away with that term entirely, we'd at least move the needle slightly in our corporate world. What about fun size? I am fun sized. Yeah, we size that, because if I'm short. Yeah, because I'm short.

Oh, y'all call yourselves fun sized. Oh, that's cute. Like I can just pop you in my mouth. Yeah. Oh, that's cute. Put you in my pocket. Yeah, that's right. Here we are.

Fun size. That's it. So I'm king pocket. Yeah, that's right. Here we are. Just like a candy bar. Fun size. So I'm king size. What the hell am I? Queen size. This big old thing. Queen size. Queen size. Queen size. Oh damn. Okay. Oh gosh. Me and my queen size self, I guess, will transition us to the main topic of our

meeting, which is all things imposter syndrome. We get a lot of questions on this, don't we? And this is always a hot topic on the socials as well. But what is it? So Ashley, our resident imposter syndrome expert. So imposter syndrome, the term was created in the seventies by two female PhDs who actually did the most of their teaching studies in Atlanta, where I'm from at Georgia State University. Oh State University. But they actually do not like the term imposter syndrome. They call it imposter phenomenon because they said syndrome makes it sound like a sickness, like something's wrong with you. But they said phenomenon because it appears and it tends to appear more the more successful that you are. And so when you hear imposter syndrome, just know that the people who are created, they say imposter phenomenon.

So it's not something, there's not something wrong with you, it's something that happens to you. And so the idea of it though, is that you feel like you don't deserve what's happened to you. It is this self doubt, everyone else is out to get you or assuming the worst and bad things are gonna happen. And they actually saw it come from two places,

in childhood, like most of, I'm sure Lee, like you know from all of your psychology studies, but they said it comes from two places. One is if people were children and you had like an older sibling who was more like smarter than you, athletic, and your parents always praised that sibling. And so you always felt like you weren't enough.

The flip side was whether you were an only child or had siblings, but your parents heaped praise on you and you're amazing, you're the best, and then you went into the world or had disappointment and the world kicked your ass and you thought, well, now wait, what my parents said to me, I can't trust that because I'm not as great as I thought I was because the good things aren't happening to me or bad things are happening to me and I didn't think that was going to be the case. So they root some of that in childhood but overall it's this idea that when you get success you feel like it's not something that you deserve and that everyone's going to figure it out and the bad things

are going to happen to you once that does. So the question is do you all feel this way ever? I mean definitely on a daily basis. And I think that would be surprising to people listening because I think there are people that would listen and think, oh, we have this podcast, you have 87 gazillion followers on social media, you have these things. So why would you ever feel inadequate or whatever? And I did have an older sibling, but he was never in the house with me.

So I grew up more like an only child. I was just so listening to that. I was like kind of reflecting and I'm like, I don't, not that my parents didn't praise me or anything, but I definitely think I struggle, you know, like I'm not worthy or a lot of times like I've been stopping myself recently, but oh, I'm lucky. But really, I've worked my ass off for everything that I've, or where I am today. And sometimes I don't even give myself credit for all the work that I've done to be where I am.

And I just, I say, well, it's luck. Maybe 5% luck, maybe. Well, what's that. Yeah. Maybe 5% luck. Maybe. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Well, what's that adage, right? Yeah. Oh, it's crazy. The more successful I am, the luckier I am. Yeah.

I seem to be, or whatever it is, right? Yeah. I suck at adages, you know? But, you know, I feel like maybe I was feeling imposter phenomenon maybe earlier in my career. Okay. But it's rare that I feel that lately. It really is. As I continue to evolve as a professional and a person and have, I don't know, just with such intent moved in a certain direction, like chasing joy, you know, I've chasing joy and all of this. I'm finally in a spot where I don't feel like I'm having to fake anything, right?

Like I don't feel like an imposter or a fish out of water or like I don't belong because I've created like this own space for myself, especially now that I'm like a business owner and, you know, I'm not in corporate anymore, so I don't have all of that bullshit to worry about. But yeah, I just feel as though as I have, I don't know, just become more me over time. I just don't really give a shit. You all know that about me. I don't give a shit about what really people say so much or do.

And so I don't have kind of that pressure of, you know, am I fulfilling something? Am I undeserving? Undeserving to who? I don't, you know, I don't know, right? It's just, but I feel like, you know, probably earlier in my career, especially, you know, nobody looked like me ever that I worked with. And so there was this sense of I don't belong anywhere. I'm undeserving to be here because I don't fit here. There's no Hispanic females. There's no females. There's no this. There's

no that. I'm surrounded by, you know, white men in all these boardrooms. And, you know, so I had very few mentors, very. So shout out for representation, I'll tell you what, you know, because the second I finally could see like female executives and whatnot, oh, I can be that too, right? I mean, it's so powerful. So I was probably feeling, I know that I was feeling odd, but I've always felt odd because I've been 5'11 since like fifth grade with, you know, big ass feet, big, big head disease. I mean, you know what I'm just being odd, uncanny, you know, so. Feel, feel better. Yeah. So I don't know. Like it's weird. Maybe I was always an imposter and then I'd like

flip to where, you know what, I'm going to create my own space. So now I'm not impostering shit. I'm just going to be weird over here. I don't know. You know, I'm kind of just like ranting. I'm thinking right out loud. Well, that's what this know. I'm kind of just ranting. I'm thinking out loud. Well, that's what this is. I mean, it's not bad. It's a conversation and we don't, we're talking like we have talked about, we're not scripted. Yeah, we don't script shit. We're talking. And so I think there's a lot of it out there and I do think it's a lot of looking in its perspective. Wait, do people look the way I do? If I have tattoos, do I

see people with tattoos? The way I speak tattoos, do I see people with tattoos, the way I speak, where do I fit in? Or this person sounds or seems so intelligent. And so I think there's a lot of like that doubting and questioning and you can have it no matter, I think your levels of success. Like now, you know, we have this podcast. So I talked recently to, I've given talks

on imposter syndrome and I talk about this, like we're in this podcast. And we will say to people you know, especially as we do things out we have collective you know, at this point, we're going to have 4 million followers on social media. That's crazy. Well, if you want to look down percentages, I mean, I did, I should like, my percentage of it is like a little thimble compared to Lee and Jamie. And so I could very easily look around and say, well, I don't belong here, because I don't have the numbers, the statistics, and you can look at that in the workplace. I don't have the years of experience that somebody else has,

but your qualities, wherever it is, I mean, you know, in this, it's taken me time to get through that and realize like, oh, I have a perspective, I have a perspective to bring and it's different. And like, you're not, you know, I assume people aren't listening. Well, I guarantee you people are gonna listen to this podcast

and be like, who's that? You know, look at our data and be like, and're not, you know, I assume people aren't listening. Well, I guarantee you people are going to listen to this podcast and be like, who's that? You know, look, look at our data and be like, leave a comment. Someone's going to leave a comment. It's going to get like 23 likes to be like loser and all. And then the best part is other people, other people, Jamie will come after you. But it's savage. But it was interesting because when I was, I was speaking and there was an engineering

professor who's now very experienced in her career, and she shared something with me, and I asked her, I said, would you feel comfortable sharing this in front of the audience? And she said, sure. She said, the first, when she got out of grad school, the first class she was gonna speak, she's like, the thing that was really preoccupying my mind

is what do I wear to teach this class? Because she's like, I never had had a female engineering professor. And she's like, and I don't, we're gonna be, do I dress, like, do I dress in a suit? But we're kind of going to be hands on. Do I dress for a function? And she's like, this totally, she's like,

this is literally spiraling what I was thinking about. And she's like, now I look around and I'm so happy to see more representation in that area. But I think a lot of people feel really alone. And so if you're listening to this and you think, and you think of something and your thoughts to yourself are, this is so stupid, I think about this, this is so dumb, you beat yourself up for this. No, each of us have had these circumstances and the most successful

people you know, male and female, they have situations where they fixate on something inside themselves. And that is normal and that is common, but what that is not is necessary. And you are your unique self, whatever your years of experience, whatever your approaches, you are needed and your voice is valued in your workplace and in your life. And so owning that. So some of the question is I've gotten off in our,

okay, people have it, so what do you do? Yeah, what do you do about it? So Jamie, what do you do to combat imposter syndrome? It can feel like a battle. I use that word intentionally. It can feel like a fight, but what do you do? So I think you need to focus on the facts. So what are the facts?

How did you get to where you are? What have you done? You know, like, so your accolades. And I said it in, I don't know what season or on an episode, but, you know, keep that why I am the shit folder, your kudos folder of the accolades that you've received from other, your peers, your coworkers, your boss. And look back at that.

Use that as your opportunity to almost hype yourself up. Yeah. Do you ever wish that you had an HR legal bestie in your pocket? 650 is just that. Your trusted, always available ally for your employment law questions, minus the hefty price tag of a lawyer. Compliance may not be your favorite chore in HR, but it's important. And it's hard.

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Is that uncomfortable though for me to ask you that and you to think about like list off the qualities of yourself that are like award-winning and good? Does it feel- I mean, of course for me. Yes. Okay. So Lee, so Lee if to win an award, like a big award, what would she be getting honored for? Is it work related or just like generally? Sure. Generally, whichever one. But can you think about things you think Jamie would get awarded for?

Yeah. I mean, literally of just being like top employee, like competent, kind, supportive, like all the things. Like the rock star employ. I feel like your eyes are watering. They are. They are. How do you, like how, your cup right now, how is, how is, how does it feel?

Well, good, of course. I mean, y'all haven't actually worked with me though. Yes, we have. That's not true. That's not true. We have a business. What the fuck is this? I'm literally like, I'm writing this off.

Don't say that online. I like, I like, I like run, I like run to go fill a glass of water. And Jamie's like, I built this color guard. Don't say that online. I like Ryan to go fill a glass of water and Jamie's like, I built this color-coded spreadsheet showing all of our different cultures. Oh my God. Okay. But you threw that. Okay. Yeah. Being clutch in all things. If Lee were to win some award, what would she get generally? Being a fucking badass. That's funny because in my mind I was gonna be a badass bitch.

Okay, so you know, so you feel compelled. But how does it feel to hear Jamie, and feel free to go on, but the things, what are things that you feel about Lee that you're like, you are so good for? And maybe it feels kind of weird to be on the spot for me to be like, tell her good things. No, well, and I actually said of weird to be on the spot for me to be like, tell her good things. No.

Well, and I actually said this before we jumped on the podcast, but you're incredibly intelligent. You're confident. You are very personable. You're very loving. And, you know, obviously I've gotten the opportunity to get to know you over the last little over a year, I think, when we started texting about this podcast, we started talking because she's missing. Like if someone cries, I cry. I know.

I'm a highly sensitive person. You know, God, look at us being all fucking. I know. But we're also a little buzzed. I mean, like I could go on and on. Right. Oh, thank you. Lee is a badass bitch. She's got your back.

She's going to hype you up. She's incredibly empathetic and she's a hard worker. I bring this up as an example, not just like, you guys, we got a lot of great people in this room. But it's really is to say like, there are, and people have varying ways, like one of these non-toxic traits is a level of genuine confidence. And that's not to say there's not, there's not situations where you also haven't, haven't had sensitive situations and we've been like, we got you.

But, but, but, you. Especially unknown situations. But people have varying levels. And one of the things that you can do, and you don't have to have, you don't have to be a top leader, it doesn't matter what your role is, but is to know in the workplace, every single person there is going through some shit. And it is, it doesn't have to be a corny exercise of get your team in a room and be like, tell me what you like about this. But think about, think about this and whether you use chat GPT and are like, tell me ways I can do but like for people to hear good things about themselves at work, there are people that go their entire careers with without hearing this level of appreciation. But sometimes it can just

feel so good to hear people tell you what they genuinely see in you that you may not realize that other people see. So putting that lens on can be the best gift you give for someone in their entire career. So that's why I did that trust exercise. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I mean, I think you're spot on. I think we really focus a lot. We work collective is what I mean, societal. We love to just stay in that negative space, that development space, that feedback space, the constructive feedback space, right? It's very rare we come over here, probably literally 10% of the time, the appreciation space, the recognition space, the validation space, when really we'd get so more out of

ourselves and people, if that was expanded, if it was opposite, 90-10, you know what I mean? It really would like, oh, just the difference, oh, like that would make, right? It would really uplift and empower so many people. And some of this is talking to your team. I mean, one of the things, and this isn't just your junior people coming out of some entry-level program, but this is people and just saying strategies of thinking about how to lift yourself up and lifting each other and having those mantras.

Those are really important, or having pretend conversations. That's one of the strategies that I've seen I talk about. It's like, okay, give that. What if something were to go wrong? And you start playing it out in your head. Well, okay, then you realize people probably aren't all going to hate me. Because also one thing that's really important people don't realize is whenever you're doing something, if you're giving a presentation,

the people that matter, that truly matter, they want to see you succeed. They're not looking to root you on. They're not expecting for you to fuck up that presentation. They want to see you succeed. And so even if it takes a bit for you to feel comfortable just knowing and keeping true to that. And if those people aren't and those people are rooting

for your demise, that's a situation that's not good for you. But the right situations, people want you to, and they'll give you feedback and things like that, but they'll also, you know, they want to see you do well. That's why everyone needs a work bestie. Like, to hype you up. A gut-check person. Yeah, to hype you up, but also, like, be like, girl, you know, whatever, reel it in or...

Reel it in. You're off the rails. Yeah. But I do like that where you said, hey, just check the facts. Yeah. Like really check that, remind yourself. Yeah, remind yourself. Go to that Cuda folder.

Because we do, you know, sometimes start overthinking and overanalyzing. You really get into your mind sometimes, you know, and tear yourself down. I literally have a file called Why I Am the Shit. Like, that is, it's on my work computer. So, sorry, not sorry. And I just have, like, whether it was a chat that I snipped and I've put it, it's just an evolving Word document or things that I've, like, remembered that I snipped and I've put it. It's just an evolving work document or things that I've remembered that I did. I had a member of my team was asked to do something

that was like a month long project for a different team. And of course I encouraged her to do it and she did it, but I quietly did all her work while she was devoted to this team and I didn't say a word. I didn't, you know, and everyone was singing her praises and I was, I, of course, I'm like fucking jazz that my girl, you know, got to do this incredible project and she's finally being recognized even though I'd been screaming it from the rooftops for the last year. But I did want to make sure though that in my notes that I remembered,

even though I don't need anyone else to know that, that I took care of her job quietly so she could succeed. That sounds so silly. It sounds very like, I don't know, I'm hyping myself up, but I just needed it for myself. I didn't need anyone else to know that now that I'm telling the fucking world on a podcast. But it was something for me to remember so I could go back in my folder and go, hey, remember those three months that you did two people's jobs? Yeah. Oh, God. You know? Just things like that. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I love that. See, I think sometimes I'm looking at imposter syndrome or phenomenon, imposter phenomenon. It's just hard for me to say. It is. It's so hard. It's more syllable-adical. It is. It's monomona. Yeah, I can say monomomona.

But imposter monomomona, I think the core of it is this feeling that you're undeserving, right? Yeah. And people say, like, fake it till you make it with it, right? Like, you're just going to fake it till you make it. And I have really lived that, you know, in my career, just faking it till I make it. And, you know, something that's helped me kind of break through imposter phenomena, phenomenon, is the recognition that no one knows what the hell they're doing they we really don't and I know this for a fact

because I've supported like I've said before CEO the biggest guy it's all been a guy I've always supported the biggest guy. And they would turn to me and say, what the fuck do we do next? To me, of all people. And so that's when it's like, okay, well, I'm going to be this rock for this person. And I'm going to be that support. And that's part of my role is to help coach them through that and lead them through that. But here it is the billionaire leader asking someone, someone like me, air quotes, right? And so, you know, I always remember things like that. When I start creeping into an imposter syndrome place,

instantly I know, oh, no one knows fuck. No one knows shit about fuck. No one knows anything. And then that, it's like a, I get a real quick realization. And it's like, that's how I check myself. Remember how all those men had no clue what they were doing? And you got them out of that mess and kept them away from whatever legal trouble

or say the business literally, but got no recognition from it. Like all of those things, you know, I just kind of easily recall. And that's why I like think about us, but you know what I mean? Like, I remember that, you know, and I just remember how we are all just creating this as we go. Yeah. There's no playbook, there's no script. And that always like brings me so much peace. Just, you know, remembering that like none of us know.

And it's OK. And I don't know. And that's all right. I'm going to fake it till I make it. I'm just going to figure it out is what it is. You know what I mean? Everything is figure it out-able. And so, that's my little tip. You know what I mean? Just remember that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

Like, literally, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. People will DM me, well, how do you have this account? How did you become an executive? How did you do this? You know what? I just kept showing the fuck up. I promise you, I kept showing the fuck up. I kept asking a lot of questions. I kept listening more than anything. I did my own research. Blood, sweat and tears did. I had late nights and early mornings. I rolled my sleeves up and I just had a supportive community around me.

That's it. I surrounded myself with positive people. I mean, but I just kept showing the fuck up. You know what I mean? But I didn't know shit. No one knows shit in the beginning. It is okay to not know a thing. It's not okay to not do nothing about it. You know what I mean? Literally just take that messy action, right? Shout out to Kat Horton. You know, miss Excel. Just start doing. Show up, press play, go. Start doing. We all start somewhere. You know, feel and do what feels authentic to you play, go. Start doing. That's right. We all start somewhere. Yeah. Feel and do what feels authentic to you.

Do not try to copy anybody else. Yes. Or copy the way they talk or they act or their career. Absolutely. Absolutely. Lean into your career quilt. Yeah, I love that. That's really great advice, Ashley.

You know what I mean? Yeah, you don't have to copy paste anything. You really don't. No, please don't. Yeah. It's boring. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't serve anybody. You'll

never be as successful as the person you're copying. And you're going to look back and have regrets and think, well, why didn't I try something different? Yes. Yeah. It's your journey. Own it. Try yourself on, right? I love that. At Best Western, when you stay three nights this summer, you earn 10,000 bonus points. And while you're reliving your summer childhood road trip memories, they're creating new ones. So check into any one of our more than 2,300 hotels and make more memories to look back

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Let's go ahead and transition into questions and comments. What do we got? Ladies, any questions and comments? Well, I thought you and I could do the exercise for Ashley. I love that. Okay, fine. Because I feel, yeah, we need to. Do you want to make Ashley cry now?

Yeah, we need to have a moment. Weepy Wendy here. Yeah, Weepy Wendy. We need to have a moment. So if you were receiving an award, I would probably, I think your award would be, God, I was thinking about this before I asked this, but like, I really, you, I want to list off adjectives first. So you're incredibly thoughtful. You're very empathetic. You bring a positivity that I think is so necessary into situations and also fucking incredibly talented, but also incredibly intelligent.

And so a lot of times I sit here and I am in awe of both of you. And I- It's a bunch of dorks with mics. Really, I'm a nerd, dude. I'm such a nerd. So I really like, you are, you're the it girl, right? Like you have it all. And I think that's your superpower. Yeah, I think your superpower honestly is your extraversion.

It really is, right? I mean, the way you network and connect with people. When I think of Ashley, I just think extreme extrovert. We joke how she's like the mayor of Dunwoody, where she lives. Everybody just knows it, but there's so much power in that because it is all about who you know. But the thing is, is that she doesn't exploit that power or use it for evil. She gives back to it as well. Right? So, you know,

it's like she does things for others too, and helps connect other people, help share the wealth with other people. You know what I mean? Like it's very like communal in that extraversion because typically when you have a powerhouse networker, you know, they're just giving to themselves, right? You know, they're just giving to themselves, right? They're just eating through people, but that's not the case at all. Yeah. And Ashley. And I don't know that I've ever seen that in somebody.

And Ashley is the reason why all three of us are in this room. She brought all three of us together and the reason we have a successful podcast and we've built an incredible community of besties. But I think her prize honestly would be a newsletter master. Oh, God. Yes. I'm sorry. I'm so legit impressed.

I'll text her, holy shit, that newsletter was by what the, how did you write that? Write me one? Oh my gosh, the writing. And also her manager method newsletters as well. No, they're all fire. She's just a great writer. She wants to be a playwright. Yeah. It's brilliant shit. You know what I mean? I didn't make her cry. No, you didn't. No, I was thinking thoughts inside my head to keep myself. It's Margaret Thatcher on a cold day. Machine Gun Joe, please.

Thank you all. I appreciate that. It to hear. But I trust me. I have it all. But I, okay. I will give a shout out to the actual, in my term, mayor of Dunwoody. Lynn Deutsch, who is my favorite political figure of all time. I have to say she's the mayor of my town, but she is a phenomenal communicator like you've never seen. She posts about different events and I joke that I went over to a musical about Dunwoody and have a song called, at Mayor Lynn Deutsch. People tag her and the shit on Facebook constantly. I'm friends with Mayor Deutsch and I will-

Can I play her in the musical? You can. but constantly. And I'm friends with Mayor Deutsch and I will, we're going to do some videos together. Can I play her in the musical? You can, you can. But she's such, she's such a wonderful leader. Cause she just, people, I mean, Tagger, she comments, she just keeps up with this stuff. But that's it. That's her number one thing is the communication. She's a fantastic communicator and I think every leader could. And she just kind of does it in like your medium, small medium, I don't know, town.

And I just, everyone knows, my kids laugh because I'm obsessed with her leadership and I talk about it as an example. And so I'm a big fan of that level of leadership and it's just easy, just communicate. Someone sent her this clip. I will, I will, I'll show her. She's like, please.

I know exactly. With muffins. We've got this into this together. You're like, smell it. Maybe I'll get a Duff Woody shirt. Ooh, a Duff Woody shirt. Oh gosh. Oh, it's my turn. All right. Well, not a question,

but a quick comment. You know, this is being filmed right now in San Antonio. Shout out to San Antonio. Yes. Ashley and I already want to move here. I know. Sorry Mayor Dorch, just as I say that, I love it. Shout out to Mayor Ron. I love to get Mayor Ron.

Amazing. I love him. Amazing. It is an amazing city. And I feel privileged to live here. Why am I crying? So stupid. Oh, it's not. Oh my God. It's not stupid.

Am I dreaming a bottle? We've seen a peek into how meaningful this city is. But it's the community. Yeah. Yeah. It's incredible. But to share this community with you all, my HR besties community is such a gift for me.

Yeah. It's been an incredible weekend. It's shit. Like, you all cry because I feel like this is our last episode. That's why I'm crying too. Okay. I know. Love.

We talked about this, but if you're just listening, so yeah, we don't live in the same city. Jamie's in Nashville. I'm in Atlanta. She's in San Antonio. And being here, there's something, this is why I said there's something to be said at work when you feel comfortable in showing things yourself. And so Jamie and I both said, we've known we've gotten together, we text literally easy, I need to get hold of that plan based on this.

But coming here and seeing her town and like, or city maybe, I don't know. It's a city. The community and seeing this, you just see it and like Lee is a San Antonio personified, the level of community and care. And it's really been wonderful to be here and spending time together. Like earlier we were gonna report episodes and then like that live band for a church service

literally was on the adjoining wall. And we were like, oh, we pulled an audible and went and like hung out for two hours, like walking around. Started drinking. So we had a little puns too, okay? Just a little puns. It's just, you know, I love these women so much.

It is a privilege to be here, but it really is a privilege to be here and see this layer of you. Yeah, yeah, I mean, we adore it. Like San Antonio is one of those places, people ask where I'm from, people will go around the room, you know, introducing themselves. I say San Antonio is one of those places people ask where I'm from. People go around the room, you know, introducing themselves. I say San Antonio, people, oh, San Antonio. I just love it.

I've never had anyone be like, fuck that town. Like, you know, but other cities, every other city gets that, you know, but there's something special here. And it is very, it is very communal. And we do take pride in our in our pride in our town and we do love it. So I love it. Born and raised here, it's a very precious place that we all hold dear. So it's nice to share it.

Yeah, thank you. It is very nice to share it. So thank you so much for coming. Thank you for inviting us and hosting us this weekend. Yes. And if you haven't, then please come and visit us. Seriously, we have so many recommendations. I'll include some of those in our newsletter this week and some of these that we highly

recommend. But also thank you all for listening, whether in your car, whether in your listening team, just letting us come in and sharing this. It means so much to us to share this. And if you feel like you are part of our community and so everyone that's listening, this is why we do it. We keep showing up. So thank you. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. We appreciate you very much. In our matching jammies. Oh yeah, we're wearing matching jammies.

We are wearing our matching jammies. Lee's worst nightmare has come true. Our dreams. Yes. So great. Oh gosh. But no, we thank you. Wonderful words, Ashley, to close out this meeting. Thank you so much for joining us, besties, and we will see you next meeting.