I Don't Know About That - Alcohol (No Expert)

Episode Date: July 14, 2020

In this episode the team drinks alcohol. Follow Us: Jim Jefferies Website: www.jimjefferies.com Jim Jefferies Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies/?hl=en Jim Jefferies Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies/ Jim Jefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies   Forrest Shaw Website: www.forrestshaw.net Forrest Shaw Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrestshaw/ Forrest Shaw Twitter: https://twitter.com/forrestshaw Kelly Blackheart Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellyblackheart/   Jack Hackett Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Jack_hackett/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Probably not. I'm done. Alright. Hey! Welcome to I Don't Know About That with Jim Jefferies. I'm Jim Jefferies. I'm here with Kelly, Jack, and Forrest. I'm drunk, and for a very special reason.

Now, normally on the show, normally on the show... You're already wrong. We're not supposed to be talking about this yet. No, no, I'm talking about it. Okay. Okay. Normally on the show, I don't know what the subject's going to be. We don't have a specialist today because we decide to make this alcohol this uh episode we decided to make this episode alcohol right yeah and we don't need a

specialist for that because i'm already a specialist now i don't really drink that much very often anymore but i i basically i quit it for a couple of years uh a while ago and then i took it back up on the j Jefferies show podcast. There's documented footage. There's documented footage of that. And I stopped for another while ago and I'm mostly a weed guy now. But you're not the expert today. No, I'm not. You're going to try and tell us everything

you know. We're going to get an alcohol expert, but we didn't have time to get one. I also love that the plan was to get drunk during the podcast and we're all already a little bit drunk. I'm sober. I thought long and hard about this because there's no was to get drunk during the podcast and we're all already a little bit off. No, because I thought long and hard about this because there's no point in getting drunk during the podcast and then being drunk after the podcast. No one's going to be entertained by that.

That's a good point. Right. So I had a few drinks, five, before we came onto the podcast so that I'm already drunk so it's more entertaining. Now, we're not going to be drunk on other podcasts, but you wait for that cocaine episode. It's going to be a doozy. It's just all of us pitching business ideas.

I tell you what Kelly always gives me a five or a six on confidence. I'm going to get a 12. I'm going to get a 12 on that one. So what we're going to do is we're going to do the history of alcohol and how alcohol was invented, et cetera. Before we do that, let's talk about the week that was. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Forrest is going to get bad comments about this. I told you before we started. I'm about to talk about this. No, no. Last week on the podcast, there were some mistakes, and people have written to us, and they're very upset about the mistakes that have happened. Forrest now, who's sober, by the way, and very aggressive, is going to pipe in and tell us what the mistakes were.

Forrest, platform. First of all, I've had some beer out of this beach ball. But they weren't mistakes that people wrote in to us. What it is is I've tried to on the podcast. I've done this probably sinceics or the post office was made sure i go back and ask the questions that i asked you so that the listeners can be along with us back you know know what we're talking about have some um you know some like clarity yeah there you go can't think um and i missed i didn't get to some of the answers or kevin didn't get to some of the answers

last week so i just wanted people to know that because people do write to us like even though you have google and you can look it up yeah but um lunar rocks sounds like this is such a like a buzzkill after the beginning lunar rocks last week we brought back uh my favorite band lunar rocks check them out 2200 samples weighing 842 pounds was how many pounds of lunar rocks that we bring back. How far away is the moon? I think you said 120,000 miles, Jim. It is 238,900, so pretty close. Not bad.

We'll give it to him. We'll give it to him. And the name or the type of the rocket that was used for the Apollo missions was Saturn V. Saturn V. Not the Eagle. You said the Eagle. And also, I've since found out that I said that the Australian guys who ran the satellite lost the spaceship. My knowledge on that was from a fictional movie.

Kevin wrote in to us and he said, while there were difficulties due to high winds with them, and there was an actual dish down there that was used to broadcast it, the whole losing the thing was not true. No, it was not true. It was from a movie called the dish which i highly recommend um so good that you might quote it as fact it turns out that's not a fact but the ewoks did defeat the empire whoa that's a that's a fact not all movies are fake so so also my special has just come out um i would like to thank everyone who's uh written me messages. I think it may be my best received special. I don't know how it rated

because Netflix doesn't really tell you, but for comments and everything, I obviously have my fair share of people who don't like it. The classic ones of this are, he was better when he was drunk. Well, you'll enjoy this then.

It would be weird if anyone ever released a special and everybody agreed with it. No, no, no. It's part of the territory. And the professional reviews have been mixed. But I... Look, you've gotten good and bad professional reviews. I know my comedy.

I know my comedy. I will tell you with my heart of hearts, this is number two or three out of my eight specials. Number two or three. I'm not going to say it's number one because i know what number one is it's alcoholic cost and people always say it's bad but it's not it's alcoholic cost my least watched one but this one is i'm very very proud of this one and i think it's uh i won't say return to form as such but i think it's a poignant special where i just tell one story and then i deviate off now i'm amazed by the people who wrote to me, wrote comments that were along this line.

Oh, he couldn't stick to his story. This isn't completely planned. He kept on forgetting where he was up to. No, that was planned. I knew where I was up to. The other good one is like, I saw him on his last tour and it was the same material this is it this is it someone made a comment the other day on twitter with included me and ronnie chang now i have a lot of time for ronnie chang i think he's extraordinary he's

fucking hysterical he also started his comedy career in australia so i have a lot of time for ronnie i think he's very good and someone said i went and saw jim jeffries and saw Jim Jefferies and Ronnie Chang and then I saw their specials. It was the same material. All right, you thicky. Right? You don't understand, right? We do the tour. We do the tour, right? And then we record the special.

We don't record the special, then do the tour, and we don't make the comedy up as we go. So if you go and see the next tour, it'll be new material, right? And then I'll record it again. So pick one or the other. Either watch the special or watch the tour. Or you can watch both and understand what's happening. By the way, I don't know if there's many people in the world

that have seen this special more than me. Maybe Whitehead or Amos or or martindale like the opener is like maybe but i still watched it and enjoyed it yeah i thought it was fucking hilarious it looks different there's a different set listen if you want comedians to wing it watch podcasts yeah there's not gonna happen also it's shorter than the live show so it is different oh it's short it's short people go why don't you that joke in? You have to keep it to an hour. I kept it to an hour and five minutes just because I didn't want to take... There was a Michael Jackson joke that was much more extended

that everyone wanted to hear. There was stuff about Hank going to school that people wanted to hear. I did many of those jokes on a Canadian TV show, so I thought they were retired. Now, I've retired all these jokes. Now, being a comic who's done the Edinburgh Festival I think 10 times I'm pretty used to reviews and I don't take professional reviewers very seriously because you know it's all subjective isn't it you know it doesn't matter if one person likes you one

person doesn't like you whenever you do comedy I believe that the best thing to do is every comic should be their favorite comedian i think i'm the best comic in the world and now i know i'm not right i think i am because i'm doing the exact show that i want to see and that's what comics should be doing you should be doing something that you think would entertain you and hopefully other people watch that special and then they enjoy it now so we we've had good reviews from professional reviewers bad reviews and and all that type of stuff and everything in between but there was one that forrest sent me that we thought we we have to speak out about we have to talk about one review now i've never done

this in my whole career but this review was written by such a moron who put so little effort into it and was so judgmental we are about to review our review i want everybody to know this is a real review this is i know you think we're making this up this is a real person it is from the arkansas democrat gazette yes and that's it's a rag where you should be proud of your journalistic skill i think i think it's the actual it's probably one of the better papers in arkansas i would think but this is just happens to be proud of your journalistic skill. No, I think it's the actual. It's probably one of the better papers in Arkansas, I would think. But this just happens to be somebody. Yeah, but one of the better papers in Arkansas is one of the worst in the country, probably.

We might have some listeners. And it's by. I didn't know they had the technology in Arkansas to be able to download this right away. It's by a journalist. I'm using air quotes here. A journalist named Courtney Lanning. And the title is Ozzy Confuses Rants for Comedy in New Special. I have done that.

So she's correct about that. Yeah. So here is one of the first lines. And keeping in mind, Jim's special is called Intolerant. Yeah. Just remember that. Intolerant. It's called Jim Jeffries Intolerable right off the bat.

Jim Jeffries Intolerable, right off the bat. Jim Jefferies Intolerable. She gets it wrong, which turned out to be a more fitting name than I think this comedian intended. Okay, okay. A little of his material was tolerable. It's like, wow. First of all, you called the special intolerable. It's called intolerant.

Yeah, yeah. Right? That's like going to see The Avengers and writing a review that goes along lines of this. I watched The Averages. It was pretty average. And it was average. It's funny that this comedian named his special One Star because that's just

what it was. One Star. What? What are the odds? So, right. You don't even need to read anything further in the article with the fact that she already has, like, got the name of the special wrong, and she's supposed to be a journalist. It's in print. You'd think she could read. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all over the place, so. And then

she goes, you may recall I reviewed another Aussie comedian a few weeks back. It was Hannah Gadsby's Douglas, who you always get compared to, and she freaking slayed, which is fine. But then this next line was really condescending and funny. And what I wish more than anything after watching Jim Jeffries perform tonight was that I could just sit him down in the same room as her and say, hey, Hannah, this guy has potential to be funny, but he's just misfiring a lot.

Can you give him a few pointers? Yeah, that's what I wish for you, this journalist, that I could make my son sit in a room with you and tell a few pointers yeah that's that's what i wish for you this journalist that i can make my son sit in a room with you and tell you how to spell intolerance um and then she even says i laughed a few times you know so it's not like she wasn't saying she didn't like it she's even said i love the anecdotal humor about your father voting on same-sex marriage all those stories were an a plus um but then he got but then he went into a rant about how millennials are the worst and hey as a millennial gal I can't disagree. But then has about

three or four paragraphs where she disagrees. You can't disagree? Yeah then she goes on to say like but and then she also has a line in here too which she goes what bothered me was in his comedy special that was over an hour long

this comedian would routinely interrupt his stories he just keeps going on tangents I went on Netflix and was making it up to the guy which were funny she says you were funny but to go off on five minute tangents, which weren't funny, Jim.

She went on about what was the bit she went on about the trans people? Yeah. She said that I lifted a trans joke. I didn't say it. It was after his transgender bit where he discussed how millennials wouldn't they become the old bigots that I realized I'd heard this before. Where? In an episode of the simpsons

homer's dad said she doesn't even know homer's dad's name he's a fucking idiot there's no research at all she's like yeah the old guy yeah the old bloke of the simpsons grandpa something smithers yeah homer's dad said quote i used to be with it then they changed what it was now what i'm with isn't it and what's it seems weird and scary to me it'll happen to you so i love how she's acting like the simpsons hasn't predicted everything that's just what's happening word word for word i had a few other people but it's like i'm watching your special when i read that i had a few other people bother me about like i did a a bit about peanut allergies on an airplane and then i had some people write to me and just go rick is your face blah blah blah and then i I had a few other people bother me about, like, I did a bit about peanut allergies on an airplane,

and then I had some people write to me and just go, Ricky Gervais, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then my heart sank. Because sometimes when you do comedy, you can do a joke, and you might have heard another person's joke, and it seeps into your routine or whatever like that, right? And so I went, oh, fuck, is this a Ricky Gervais joke? So I had to, on the night of my special, watch three hours of fucking Ricky Gervais,

which who I like, right? Who I like. And I watched it. And then he said, peanut allergies on planes. And my heart sunk. And I went, ah, fuck. Why didn't anyone tell me that I had the same joke as Ricky Gervais? Because it's a pretty, let's be honest.

Peanuts on planes. It's a fairly old trope of the old stand-up comedian, right? Other people can talk about it. There's about 500 Vagra jokes. There's different takes. Not that you would do a Vagra. And then I watched it, and I watched it,

and not one single line was the fucking same. It's like, how stupid do you think is a comic? You go, I'll nick that bit for Ricky Gervais, the biggest comic in the world. Yeah, I love the idea that you would record it on a Netflix special knowing that it was somebody else's. Just fuck off, everybody. Come on. So here, as it goes on a Netflix special, knowing that it was somebody else's. Just fuck off.

Come on. So here, as it goes on. And after I remembered that scene from The Simpsons, I realized that Jim Jefferies reminded me of. Oh, I realized what Jim Jefferies reminded me of in his standup special. He reminded me of a drunk man ranting at the bar who thinks he's funnier than he actually is. It's pretty close.

That's what this podcast is. Yeah, that's the premise of this whole podcast. Here's a paragraph I really love. Full disclaimer, I know stand-up comedy is hard. I've done a couple of five-minute sets. That's what she wrote. Oh, no. This is where we lose it.

You've done a couple of five-minute sets. I've written a couple of columns. That's right. I used to have a column in a magazine in Britain. I've probably been paid more as a journalist than her. I'll tell you what I always did. I got the title of the project right.

And she goes, I wasn't perfect and Jim Jefferies is definitely more skilled than I am. That's a nice caveat. Thanks for throwing him a bone. Thank you, Arkansas. Here's another term she doesn't know from her two stand-up sets. He has great timing, and his motions are hilarious. What does that even mean?

My motions are hilarious. Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she goes, that's hilarious. As I said, the potential to be funny is clearly there, which is so condescending. I want 10 specials. I don't know if you know this about me. I'm close to retirement. I think about it on a daily basis. COVID has taught me that I'm okay with this.

I'm just reaching my potential. This sucks dicks. Wait till you get funny, then retire. The man. It's very, very flippant when she goes, the man and this guy. The man just needs to cut out about 89% of his rants and stick to anecdotes. I don't know where 89, like she got a calculator out. Also, she clearly doesn't know that his brand is rants.

Like every time you do a rant, people are like, more, more more of that all right my next version is going to be called 11 funny that actually would be fucking hilarious that sounds pretty good yeah um let's see here uh um oh wait a lot of dead air I'm gonna write a review about Forrest reads very slowly he should meet up with another reader and give him advice I know because I wanted to get to the highlight okay at one point in the special

Jeffries just seemed to have a need to waste five minutes of his stand up complaining about people who have complained about some of his past jokes hey we're doing that again it came off as evidence of Jeffries about people who have complained about some of his past jokes. Hey, we're doing that again. Bit of a trend. It came off as evidence of Jeffrey's having thin skin. When you need to take five minutes of your special to rant about people

who have ranted about you, it seems petty. You have to have the last word. Let's see if we can have the last word and you don't need it either. I would bet right now that you have a very thin skin and you are going to do a retort to this podcast take the bait don't take the bait or sit back in fucking arkansas

um acknowledging problematic humor before committing problematic humor isn't brilliant writing jim that just makes you an edgelord oof jeffries went from joking about michael dressing having sex with children to making fun of a woman with parkinson's disease jesus christ man burn some puppies on stage and see if it makes the audience laugh went from joking about Michael Jackson having sex with children to making fun of a woman with Parkinson's disease. Jesus Christ, man. Burn some puppies on stage and see if it makes the audience laugh. I would if I could. But those fucking Peter people.

I had a puppy jacket for a while. I never heard the end of it. Okay, so and then the stand-up. This is the end of it, by the way. There's some other stuff. It's in the Arkansas. No, no, and then the stand-up, this is the end of it, by the way. There's some other stuff. It's in the Arkansas. No, no, no, no, no.

The last one, we got to, there's a very important thing at the end. At the very end, she doubles down again on her ignorance, I would say. The stand-up special really shouldn't have been called Intolerable, wasn't. It should have been titled The Things That Annoy Me Tour.

What? It's not even a tour. This is the thing. I hate when people do that. what do you think stand-up comedy is built on things we like yeah do you do you want to watch a tour of going i love my wife nothing's wrong my kids are great and i went on a great holiday yeah special yeah and then four and a half seconds here's the last thing after the special concluded i wanted to pull jim jeffries aside while standing six feet away she's responsible and ask who hurt you okay if you want to pull me aside and ask me who hurt me you don't have the time that's gonna take fucking weeks to go through all that so as of today there are still zero comments on this article

so now now now getting a lot of traction. I know what we're doing talking about this seems petty. And there's been worse reviews. It's funny. There has been worse reviews of this special. Worse reviews of people who really, really hated it. She at times says that she actually enjoyed it, which I appreciate. That's fine.

She says, I'm funny. And there's been people who have hated my special way more but I have never in my life seen worse writing yeah than this person the people at the Arkansas Democrat fucking okay fuck you people you have no job you work at the fucking Arkansas nothing gazette but who are you hiring just a homeless homeless person? Yeah. Well, so that's good. So make sure you watch Jim Jefferies' Intolerable special on Netflix. Just search intolerable and you'll find it. Intolerable.

Yeah. All right. All right. So alcohol. Let's get to the podcast here. All right. I feel so petty after all that. Why?

It wasn't like, it just has to be pointed out. Once in a while, you have to point something out. The fact that she even said the name of your special again at the end, and that means nobody read it there. Everyone's like, she handed it in, and she was like, yeah, yeah, it looks good to me. There's no proofreading going on there. The only reason I see this is because my PR is nice enough

to send me all my reviews. They send them all to you and they're like here you go here's all the reviews of your show and then it's basically like something to work on all right so let's get going i'm sweating i'm not gonna be sweating now as we said we're doing something on alcohol we're already drunk there's no judging a book by its cover we know what we don't we have no specialists we're going to do the history of alcohol how it's made what it does Kelly

and I have looked up stuff and that's we're not going to just win it no no I'm just saying but also yeah when you guys want to write in and tell us we're wrong about shit we probably know so leave us alone so we're going to do alcohol or is the lady from Arkansas calls it alcohol

um so Jim is gonna tell us everything he knows about alcohol I'll prod you along with some questions and then we're gonna grade you one through ten we'll grade you on accuracy I've got all the answers here at least but I think they are Kelly on confidence i'll do etc okay so if you get 21 through 30 uh you'll be you don't know me you don't know 11 through 20 11 through 20 what are you looking at fuck face and zero through 10 i'm gonna throw up so uh those are your categories so the middle one zero through 10 is i didn't know that was your sister there's a lot of different ones that could be but um so let's just start uh uh with when and where was alcohol discovered uh i'm gonna say and i i promise even though i knew about this

yesterday i haven't looked up anything but i will say that alcohol was like with cheese a mistake. I believe that someone left something to ferment for too long and then they drank it and then they were wasted and then they were like, oh, you know what I could do with these juniper berries, right? I'm going to say it was probably the Egyptians always did everything. So I'm going to say it was Egyptians. I'm going to say because Jesus had wine at the Last Supper,

I want to say 2000 BC was when alcohol was invented by accident or whatever. And it probably wasn't, it was probably a potato or a fucking berry or some honey or something like that. Because the only reason I say honey is because we did bees, and I know that bees are very old. Did you not look this up no i didn't i swear to god we'll go back and go over the answers but i'm like reading i'm like what the fuck i swear to god i've been studying for this my whole life yeah um uh can you drink isopropyl

alcohol i don't know what that is i i've i've a profan isopropyl alcohol i don't know what that is i'm gonna say no what about ethyl alcohol oh shit i'm gonna say ethyl is the type of alcohol we drink now i'm gonna say yes we can drink ethyl we can't drink i have a profan no ibuprofen uh okay um why does alcohol make you drunk um it i don't i really don't know why but it's a depressant and it would uh it would dull the brain the the what's the thing the synapses these things the things that spike jack help me out hippoc here. The hippocampus. The hippocampus in your brain. Jack just came up with the first word he could relate to. The census. It dulls the census.

So you've got different types of drugs. You've got uppers and downers. How does it make you drunk? Uppers and downers. So uppers speed up things. Your ecstasy, your speed, your MDMA, they speed things up. They speed the brain cells up

and alcohol slows it down and that's why you can't drive an alcohol but you can drive like a motherfucker on coke okay you were doing you were doing well yeah uh why do you get hung over um because your brain is dried out like a raisin it's not enough it's not enough water so your brain your brain is sits in a body of water and then when you're drunk your alcohol dries you out and it takes away all the water and your brain becomes like a raisin yeah it's you're i mean you know i don't think you're exactly right but you're pretty close actually and at least sounds good you know like this is one of those if you're in a bar, you would believe them.

Yeah, it's a pruned up brain. Blood alcohol content. Let's talk about that. What does that mean? Okay, so that's the amount of alcohol that's in your blood. And that's content at the time. That's content. So it's 0.05. Wait, so that that's the amount of alcohol in

your blood yeah so 0.05 is drunk and upwards right that's what you can drive and i'm gonna give you i'm gonna give you 0.06 or 0.07 here in america and in australia in australia it's 0.05 in britain it's 0.05 so you can have two drinks in the uk and you can have three to four here in america 0.05 which is weird because the age of consent is lower and all that stuff and then you're all liberal about alcohol well done america um okay so the so you say how many drinks is it till you get um a blood alcohol of like 0.05 so so you're allowed you're allowed two drinks in the first hour and one drink every hour after that now i'll tell you i'll tell you a fun story tell you a fun story in australia when you say light

beer that means low alcohol beer right so it'd be 0.2 percent alcohol now normal beer is 0.4 0.49 going up to a stellar right so 0.2 is a what they call a light beer now a light beer in america means low carb like a bud light or whatever light and still light is a is a low carb beer like low calorie low calorie beer but you don't have light beer you don't have half alcohol beer here you probably do but it's not popular in australia it's very popular you're like in zero you know but that's zero that's that's zero alcohol right so in australia you'd have the two taps you'd have the two he's dry two he's dry light fosters in yeah so so when i moved to america because you can drink about eight light beers and still drive there's no problem because it's 0.2 right so what happened was when i moved to

america i would go to the comedy store and have about nine bud lights thinking i was fine and then i'd drive home oh no i didn't i didn't know i didn't know no one told me your special fucking graphs that you have now we have it people listen to this show in australia and you'll know this light beer means low alcohol over here it just means low carb okay so percentages yeah um if your blood alcohol content is a concentration sorry i said content earlier so i didn't mess up so concentration is 0.02 percent this is the lowest level of intoxication so you said 0.05 yeah britain and then 0.08 is the u.s yeah so what

happens now these are like i'm going to give you other percentages what happens like what for before i do that what are some side effects from the increased uh blood alcohol concentration um maybe i've got a list of one two three four five i've got eight here. Give me four. More confidence. Being able to. I love how that's like a side effect. You said that very confidently. Yeah. Being able to pull women. Pull women.

Yeah. Pull women is one of the side effects. Or pull men. Can we go either way? Wake up in the morning and not knowing who that woman is. That's another side effect. These sound more like benefits than side effects. Side effects is you slur your speech.

Slurred. Slur your speech. You become more forgetful. You could black out. I won't remember this podcast. Are you staggering? People become more attractive. You become more attractive. These are not side effects.

Side effects to your body. That happens. Damage to the liver. Have you ever heard of medicine? If you have high cholesterol, take this medicine. You're going to be really confident afterwards. You may become more attractive. You might pull some pussy.

Please talk to your doctor before you pull some pussy. Please talk to your doctor. I got malaria and had a threesome. Okay, let's move on. So percentages. All right, so 0.08 we said is America. That's the legal limit. I'll tell you what, though. Threesomes is a side effect.

No one's ever had one of them sober. No one's convinced two people to have sex with them and all get along sober. Okay. Side effect. Three Sims. Three Sims. So once your blood alcohol concentration reaches 0.15%, what would be some things that would happen then?

You'd lose your driver's license. Yeah. What if you were just walking around? Oh, if you're just walking around, the cops will get upset with you. What do you mean if you're just walking around? You might shit yourself. All right, let's move on.

Okay, so at what percentage, like 0.08 is the legal limit, at what percentage do blackouts usually occur eight is the legal limit at what percentage do blackouts usually occur all right 9 p.m and then at what percent it'll be 9 p.m at what percentage should you worry about dying um that'd be 11 p.m i think i think if you have i always feel like i black out a half a bottle of vodka we're back to eating on the podcast by the way i'm sure everybody's i black out everybody loves it i black out half a bottle of vodka so i'm gonna say you'll die

at a full bottle of vodka a liter of vodka will kill you oh no i've done okay but that's not blood alcohol concentration not every time 0.08% is legal limit for driving. When would you die? What's the percent? Point what? What's the driving? 0.08. I think you'd die at three.

Okay. No, no, no, no. It's 0.08. No, because it's got to go to 100, isn't it? 0.3? No, that would be less. Don't be silly, Jack. What? No, it doesn't go to go to 100, isn't it? 0.3? No, that would be less. Don't be silly, Jack. What?

No, it doesn't go to 100. Your blood will never be 100% alcohol. You'll definitely be dead then. Yeah, so I'm going to go- This is a fraction of a percent. I'm going to go 3. 3%? 0.3.

0.3%. Okay, 0.3%. Not 0.8. Okay. 0.3%. Does food affect how quickly you get drunk? Like, if you eat more food, does- Oh, no.

I've been 0.3, because they used to have breathalyzers in the bars in Australia which were meant to be there for you to breathe into to fucking like whether you could drive or not and then everyone took the situation a bit silly and we all had competitions and I got to 3

so I'm going to say Well you're a different breed though, you've been training for this I'm going to say 10 10, you're a different breed, though. You've been training for this. I'm going to say 10. 10. 10%. Yeah, 10%. Okay. We'll kill you.

You're all over the place. All right, so here's some... Can I have a beer, Jack? Here's some things that may or may not be true about drinking. If you eat food before you drink, it will lessen the effects of alcohol. Yeah, I believe that's a fact because whenever I have an empty stomach, I get drunk faster. Okay.

What about bubbly alcohol? Some of those people drink champagne or something. They reckon champagne goes to your head a lot quicker and you'll get drunker if you drink it with a straw. Okay. And do women get drunker faster than men? Yes, they do because their body mass is smaller. Okay.

You crushed that section. Okay. How many that section. Okay. How many people die of alcohol-related deaths per year in the US and then in the world? 330 million Americans. Like we're talking about long-term alcoholism or just a big stream? Alcohol-related deaths.

So that could be anything from health issues, driving, you know, drunk drivers. I'm going to say 2 million people a year in America. 2 million? No. Okay. You could tell by my voice you were wrong. What about world deaths? What? Okay, but if you said what to that,

I'm going to say 2.1 million worldwide. 2.1 million. Oh, that's only 100,000 diamonds. We have a problem in the US. Does alcohol have any health benefits i wish it did yeah because wouldn't it be good to have like because weed god bless it you can say it's medical medical marijuana heroin can be medical no doctor has ever written down uh should I have a few more drinks?

Right? So I'm going to say no, but then there's the things where they believe that red wine has oxidants in it, but I don't believe that's the alcohol that's helping you. I believe it's other things in the grapes. So I'm going to say no with a caveat that there is grapes. There's fruit juice. Okay.

Let's talk about different types daily drink is fruit juice. Let's talk about different types of alcohol now. Rum. What is rum made from? And where is it primarily made? Like, what region of the world is it? Rum is a sugar-based. Oh, hold on. I've got to finish this pretzel stick.

Stop eating pretzels. Remember we made you stop eating on the podcast? You would eat, like, burgers? Yeah, this is like a palate cleanser for when you're doing the taste test. You gave me a bucket of pretzels. Remember we made you stop eating on the podcast because you would eat like burgers? Yeah, this is like a palate cleanser for when you're doing the taste test. You gave me a bucket of pretzels. What do you think was going to happen? I know, but you can't be like...

Like, this is going to be a great podcast. This is on you, Forrest. To be fair, this is... I know, but I didn't say eat them while you're talking on the podcast. What were they for then? Don't be talking while you're eating them. It's disgusting.

No one wants to hear it. So rum is rum because they make Bundaberg rum in Australia. And Bundaberg is a Queensland town where they grow a lot of sugar cane. It's a sugar cane based product. And they make a lot of rum in the West Indies and stuff like that. I'm going to say it's a strictly sugar-based dark liquor. Okay. What about tequila?

What is tequila made from? Where is it? Tequila is made by the agave plant, which is a cactus. It's basically cactus juice, and it's from Mexico. Mexico. Okay. And is there a specific area in Mexico it's made? The middle.

Again, not technically wrong. And is there a specific area in Mexico it's made? The middle. Again, not technically wrong. And mezcal? It's also made in Mexico. What is it made from? It's made from the same cactus plant, but it's a bit more smoky. It's if you are. Now perfect. Great podcast.

It's if you put all the cactus leaves under a blanket with a bit of fire. That's how you get mezcal. Under a blanket. Okay. Seems safe. Doesn't seem like there's any fire hazard there at all. No, it's like when you put pigs on the ground in Honolulu. What?

Are you talking about pigs in a blanket at breakfast? No, when you cook a pig under the ground. Oh, pork. No, not pork. Yeah, that's what pig is. No, but when you make a pig, a suckling pig, and they make a fire pit and they bury it to cook it, right, in a luau, that's what they do with the cactuses.

Vodka. What is vodka made from? Vodka is made from the Russians, and it is just, and it is just... It's made from Russians. It's made out of several things, but prominently, vodka is made out of the potato. Okay. And gin? Gin is vodka that has juniper berries added to it.

Okay. All right. How about whiskey? What's the difference between whiskey, bourbon, and scotch? Remember the scotch tasting we had at work? Why did you use that voice? Whiskey involves barley. That's beer, isn't it? Whiskey involves...

No, I'm going to still say barley. Now, scotch comes from Scotland. Bourbon is a sweet version of whiskey. Whiskey is American. Scotch is British. And bourbon, like Jim Beam and then like the hybrid, which is Jack Daniels, is a sweeter version. It has more sugars added to it to make those two drinks. Where's that from, bourbon?

Bourbon is from Tennessee. Tennessee. Yeah, Jim Beam. Jack Daniels from Tennessee. drinks where's that from bourbon uh bourbon is from tennessee tennessee yeah jim beam uh jack daniels from tennessee from lynchburg tennessee is jack daniels and then a liqueur or a cordial what is that liqueur is a spirit that has been flavored with things okay to make it more fancy. It's for the lady folk. All right. Lady folk. All right. That's the exact definition.

How many different types of wines are there? Like there's five basic kinds of wines. Can you name any of them? White wine. Nice. Do you want the things in between? I said five different kinds, so you figure it out. Red wine. White wine. Yeah. Dessert wine. Uh-huh. in between i said five different kinds so you figured red wine white wine yeah dessert wine

like that pinkish sort of one the rose wine rose wine and then i'm gonna say uh a dark and stormy type of wine like a brown a brown. Stormy Daniels. Got it. And then how many different brands, like how many different brands of wine are there and how many different vineyards? Let's say, yeah. Let's say how many different brands? I'm going to say there's over two and a half thousand brands of wine. Now, if you come in with 80,000, I'm still correct. Okay.

There's over, yeah, over two and a. Okay. There's over 2,500. 2,500 different types of wine. When I say brand, I mean like there would be a vineyard, but they might have eight different kinds of wine. Yeah, no, no. I'm going to say 2,500 different brands. That's it? Okay.

Fuck. Damn it. And then how many vineyards do you think? Times that by eight. Okay. This is a great podcast, Burping and Eating. And then what are the four main ingredients of beer? Water.

Yeah. Barley. Love and passion. Okay. Water and barley. And that's what Bud Light is made of. I think it's water, bud. There'd be some type of yeast in there. I'm going to say yeast, water, barley, and hops.

Hops. What's the malt? Shut up, Jack. I think that's good. I think we can stop here. I think I did all right. You did okay. You did really good, actually.

I think I'm going to give you like an eight or a nine. It's almost like you know this shit. Somehow you know it. When you were like working as a bartender, did you like read stuff? I used to be a bartender, and I used to actually order in drinks and stuff like that. And at one stage for about a week of my life, I brewed beer in my bathtub. And I've tried other different spirits and that. But I swear to God, I didn't read up on anything.

Wait, you brewed it in your bathtub? I did some distilling stuff in my house. In your bathtub? I had a distilling machine. You weren't in prison. No, I had like a barrel, but then I would cap them and put all the bottles in my bathtub, and then some of them would explode.

And then I thought I could just buy beer at a reasonable price. When you're 18, you think, oh, this is a good idea. Of course, you didn't want to ask them about Prohibition at all. Oh, yeah. What's up with prohibition thanks prohibition was they tried to ban alcohol here in america for a very little while and that was actually the rise of the mafia in chicago because they were moving alcohol in al capone al capone started giving everyone alcohol and the mafia actually rose to higher levels than it would have if they didn't have prohibition. So there's two amendments in the constitution,

one that's for prohibition and then one that's actually taking prohibition out. So this is the only country with prohibition? I'm sure. Well, no, no, you've got Saudi Arabia, which has no alcohol. got saudi arabia which has no alcohol you got arab countries that has no alcohol but i would say this is only and i i hate to say is that the only first world country not that you other countries aren't first world but come on what about australia has ever been prohibition no no prohibition in australia never no sure yeah okay i'm sure i'm fucking sure i'll tell you what i'm fucking sure and i know you're

a little smarmy you don't know me uh because it says right here that the australian capital territory then the federal capitol was the first jurisdiction australia to have prohibition laws in 1911 king of mali you're taking thatidazy. You're taking that off the fucking, you're taking that off the internet. Yeah. Just trust Jim. My special's called intolerant, not intolerable.

You can't believe what you read. Okay. So I'm still going to give you an eight on this for accuracy. And then Kelly, what about for confidence? I would go confidence in eight as well. Yeah. Et cetera. I'm going confidence in eight as well. Yeah. Et cetera.

I'm going to give you a nine. Wow. Because he's been drinking a lot. The highest score we've ever had. So you know what that means? You scored a, what is it, 2016 plus nine, 25. You don't know me. That's you.

I should be drunk for every podcast. This is when the truth comes out i've been holding back on those other ones i'll tell you about fucking bees if you want to know about fucking bees i did get to use my bee knowledge yesterday whitney cummings was posting on her instagram stories about bees she's like can bees even be trained and i texted her i was like actually they can be trained to sniff drugs and bombs she's like what yeah so i felt really good yeah hey whitney thanks for listening to our podcast um so the first question was when and where was alcohol the first discovered now there's like when you try to look this up it's like all over the map

it's like it's like because there's like they're always like oh they found traces of something in a pot or something things can ferment by accident. You can leave orange juice in the fridge for too long. No, so you're 100% right. So it wasn't that somebody picked up something that was fermented and drank it, but it was like animals, besides humans, have been eating fermented fruits for years, like just fruits that would fall on the ground and ferment. If you have a fruit tree or something and it falls down, it starts to ferment.

Like, you know, animals, like wild animals would eat that and get drunk you know and same thing with humans so that's been going on forever um but then uh so when you said egypt like i mean this is just something that i have that that you know there was like i said there was a whole bunch of different things and i'm not an expert let's just make that clear but fermented beverages existed in the early egyptian civilization and there's evidence of an early alcoholic drink in China around 7,000 B.C. Oh, it was 5,000 B.C.? No, but Egypt, it says, between 3,000 and 2,000 B.C. And they said they would probably use honey.

Hey! I said the honey! Yeah, yeah. But also in Greece, 2700 B.C., it was one of the first alcoholic beverages to gain popularity it was mead that you always read about

that like in Beowulf and shit it's always in like an old like Lynx type of video game I don't know if it's Beowulf actually

I said Beowulf honestly I wasn't going to question that at all it sounded completely accurate so I wasn't too 2000 it was a fair answer yeah Greek

Greek literature is full of warnings against excessive drinking. And then the medieval Arabs used the distillation process extensively, and there's evidence that they distilled alcohol. So they might have been the first ones. And then maybe in Italy in the 12th century where distillation became a thing and in China in the 12th century. So, you know, they didn't have the internet back then.

They didn't have phones and stuff like that and documentary so it's kind of like who did what first but i'll tell you what you needed alcohol with the egyptians because you couldn't fuck a bird who was wearing one of those headdresses with the little pointy beard things on top of it i don't think that was the women that's when they were dead they put them in those i'll tell you this yeah and you couldn't fuck that without alcohol. We talked about this before. There was no sexy post office worker for Halloween. We did have some.

Oh, yeah, not for Halloween, correct. No sexy Egyptians. No, there totally are sexy Egyptians for Halloween costumes. Sexy Egyptian Halloween. Are you fucking kidding me? Maybe back when the Bengals were around singing their song. Hold on. Sexy Egyptian Halloween. Are you fucking kidding me? Maybe back when the bangles were around singing their song. Sexy Egyptian. Yeah.

While you're looking that up, I'll just say that distillation probably occurred in the 12th century and 14th century, 13th century. It's all different countries. China, the Middle East, Italy, Germany, all these areas like we're starting to distill alcohol, which is closer to like what we have now when areas, like, we're starting to distill alcohol, which is closer to, like, what we have now when it's, like, so you're not just drinking a 55-day-old glass of nasty grapes or something.

Who was the first person to figure out, oh, this is all right. Okay, you proved me wrong. They're sexy Egyptians. Who was the first person to figure out the effects of alcohol, like it would make you drunk and all that type of stuff? Well, immediately, as soon as they did it. That's why people were like, somebody was really hungry, ate a rotten apple on the ground or something,

and they were like, this makes me feel good. And then they had to convince somebody else, like, hey, try this rotten apple. Imagine being the first person that does that, though, and then wanting to do it. I would immediately assume that i was about to die if i didn't know the effects of alcohol and that's not what the first person to go this rotten apple saved my marriage now i can fuck my wife

my marriage has been ruined by all these rotten apples it goes both ways alcohol it gives with one hand and it takes with the other. Okay, so now I want to make it very clear. Do not drink isopropyl alcohol. Isopropyl alcohol is what would be in your medicine cabinet in your bathroom, that clear alcohol. So you were right about that. Yeah, you don't drink it.

It's for medicinal uses for cleaning wounds, things like that, antiseptic. I do believe that people have tried to drink it that are alcoholics because... I've tried. Oh, you have? I tried to like pure alcohol. No, no, no. The stuff in your cabinet? The stuff that they put like...

The hydrogen peroxide? Yeah, the stuff that they put like animals in to keep them like... That's formaldehyde. Yeah, I've tried that. No, don't do that. I tried like pure alcohol, like rubbing alcohol when I was a kid. No, but formaldehyde is terrible. You might be dead if you try to drink it. The stuff that you rub on a cut.

That's isopropyl alcohol. Yeah, I've tried that with me mates just to see. How much? A little sip, like half a. You could die from that. We didn't. Okay. Well, I would just say don't pass.

Did you get drunk? Quarter of a shot. No, no. Just stupid behavior. Okay. So ethyl alcohol, you were exactly correct on that. That is the stuff that we drink, not ibuprofen, as you said. So everything that's on this table right here is ethyl alcohol,

you know, in different versions. Now, they've got to give it a new name, like Cindy alcohol, because ethyl sounds like an old woman. You don't want to drink from her. Oh, there's Agnes alcohol. Oh, Mavis alcohol has come in. Ethyl's come to the party. sounds like an old woman you don't want to drink from her oh there's agnes alcohol oh mavis alcohol has come in who wants ethel's come to the party oh she's gonna fucking knit us a quilt yeah okay so why do you get hung over so there's a bunch of different like you can go into a lot of details

on why you get hung over when you know but the main thing is is that um the uh oh wait this is the hung over i'm sorry what makes you drunkover. I'm sorry. What makes you drunk? That's what I was like. What makes you drunk? You said dulls the brain, hippocampus, uppers, downers. This is where you lost a point. It dries your brain out like a prune. No, your alcohol,

your body sees alcohol as a poison. It can't store it. I'm reading this. It wants to break it down and get rid of it. This is where your liver comes in. The liver converts alcohol into a number of different chemicals to allow it wants to break it down and get rid of it so this is where your liver comes in the liver converts alcohol into a number of different chemicals to allow your body to break it down and get rid of it enzymes do this so uh the liver uses these enzymes um and called alcohol dehydrogenase this can't ruin my buzz to convert to alcohol basically though um it when you when your body will process this, but if you drink too much, that's when you keep drinking, your body can't process it fast enough.

And then what happens is that it just runs through your blood, like horses through your blood, like that with the blood alcohol concentration. I had enlarged liver for a small amount of my life. I had enlarged liver because I was drinking too much. And this is like 14 years ago or something. I was at the Edinburgh Festival and I drank like 14 years ago or something i was at the edinburgh festival i drank solidly for a month and i went to the doctor i do a routine on this where the doctor pulls me in i was starting to yellow my skin and the doctor goes oh you have

an enlarged liver and i said well that's good because i drink a shitload of alcohol that'll come in handy supposedly celery juice that's what my roommate is drinking celery juice right now it helps your liver yeah i had half a liver at one point half a liver yeah where did you where'd you loan it out it was in a freezer it was an ex-boyfriend well it's because i overdosed on pills and so it destroyed half my liver but now look at me i'm fine did it grow back like is it like my grow back did it uh it's like regenerated everything's back to normal except she used to be called brian yes yeah so you have a liver and a half a dick with the hangover well you got one more than me with the hangover you were right you get dehydrated is one of the

reasons there's a couple other reasons that you get a hangover but i'm um you know your brain isn't really floating in water but i'm gonna give to give it to you. But, yeah, dehydration is what you're doing. I never got a hangover until I was 30, and now they're horrendous. And that's why I hardly drink anymore. I hardly drink anymore. Yeah, I remember college. We used to black out, like, every night, never have a hangover, never have an issue. And now I'm like, oh, man, if I have four glasses of wine today, tomorrow is going to be brutal.

So it is. I hate being old. And I didn't mention this. It is true that if you drink a clear liquid versus like a darker liquid, you get less of a hangover because there's something called Cogner's or Cogner's. I don't know. I could challenge that.

Is there a problem with mixing drinks? Cause I've always been a mixing drink person. Don't mix your drinks. Cause what I do is I start out with beers. I get full. And then I go, give me the vodka. And then I get onto the vodka. And then it get onto the vodka and then it's like Forrest.

Forrest is like, when me and Forrest first met, we weren't good people. And Forrest introduced me to tequila on a big level. Because Forrest is tequila man. Yeah. Like if he had a superhero thing, it would have a tea on his fucking chest. I can drink a lot of tequila. He drinks a lot of tequila. And Forrest, I used to go, what do you want to drink and forrest was like tequila on ice

and that's what the kid that's what forrest would drink all the time the first first i think it was the first night i ever met you it was miami improv and we were with al jackson it was me you and al jackson on the same show jackson. And you had just done your special. Al had done warm-up. But randomly, we all worked together. And then we went to this bar. It was on Bar Rescue. It was called the Sand Bar.

I don't know what it's called now. Shout out to Katie Dirt. Yeah, yeah. We went over there. And there was two funny things that happened. We ended up drinking a lot. Al Jackson had been in West Virginia for a week or something. And he was used to West Virginia drink prices for for some reason and now we're in miami and like we ordered like like three shots

and three beers and it was like it wasn't even that bad it was like 24 or something i think i was praying for it he complained he started yelling at the bartender it's like you kidding me like what the price and i'm like what are you talking about like that's a good price six drinks and then he realized he had been like it it was like Westford, just somewhere where drinks were like a dollar. And then, so this is the first night I'd ever met Jim, and I already knew your tell of how when you drank too much and you might get sick, is you'd start spitting, but like dry spitting.

So I was just talking to you, and you were like, anyways, dad, and then you were like, pfft. I get a lot of bile. My stomach, I get a lot of bile yeah my stomach does it i get a lot of bile and it's spinning up to the edge yeah but i didn't even know you were just like in the middle of carter you're like and then you're like i'll be right back and then you went to the mouth in 1999 i went to oktoberfest in germany and i drank so much and i was month uh october and i was fucking hammered i was drinking beer after beer after beer after beer a bit and i was talking to a girl and i was about to close

the deal and this is how drunk i was i i knew i drank too much so i lent off to my left she was standing to my right left to my left vomited under the table thought i'd pulled it off thought i'd pulled it off went back and continued the conversation like, and so you're American. Do you have a mint? There's just like a dribble coming down your face. Oh, gross. Anyway, we had sex and that's how Hank was born.

Sweet. You should record that. Oh, was born. Sweet. You should record that. Oh, we did. Okay. So BAC, otherwise known as blood alcohol concentration. I said content. That's when your blood alcohol is content. It's content.

It's happy with who it is. I'm content at this level. This is how drunk I feel. It doesn't try to be anybody that it isn't. It's when your blood reds out. to try to be anybody that it isn't. It's when your blood reds out. So that's the metric used to measure the alcohol content in a person's bloodstream.

And yeah, you had it right. So after you, they say one drink per hour, which would be a 12 ounce beer, an eight ounce malt liquor, five ounces of wine or one and a half ounces of hard liquor. You're supposed to consume one an hour,

anything after that, you're probably getting intoxicated at a level that would be illegal to be operating your car. And here's a list of side effects. Surprisingly, most of yours aren't on here. Three seconds down there. Ladies and gentlemen, we have to do a pause right now because I have to have a piss.

Okay. We'll be back in a second and we're back from my piss while i was having the piss i had to think to myself and i want to get this point across very quickly before we carry on i've never trusted a person who didn't drink i don't mind if you're an alcoholic who's given it up but every time donald trump does not drink now you could have drank and then now you yeah you can you can be a drunk and give drinking who's given it up, but every time... Donald Trump... Does not drink. Never has. So you could have drank, and then now you... Yeah, you can be a drunk and give drinking up,

but if you're one of these cunts who have never had a drink, I don't fucking trust you. Every single... I'm not going to name names, but every single Me Too rapey comic that I've ever met hasn't drunk. They're always never a drinker. They're always showing up to party.

What are you doing out? Why are you out? That's Donald Trump, always at the Miss American contest, not fucking drinking. You know who else wasn't a drinker? Who wants to enjoy anyone's company without a fucking drink? What type of psychopath wants to enjoy a conversation with a stranger if you're

not drunk that's my question adolf hitler adolf hitler was never had a drink never drank never had a drink church churchill drunk every day exactly yeah all these people who are fucking miserable it's like just have a drink but you'll loosen up man yeah no i need to get trumped i have a lot of love for drinkers i have a lot of love for previous alcoholics or alcoholics but i don't trust i've never trusted a person who's never had a drink in their life they're always sneaky little fucks you gotta try it and they're just pretentious like sushi they're always pretentious and it's just while i'm at it well and it's different now it's different now because the. But back fucking 15 years ago when you met a cunt who said,

I don't have a TV. Oh. Oh. No. I don't. You're truly one of the worst people out there. I like to sit at home and I don't have a television. I had a cunt of a friend like that.

I had to tell him about 9-11. I had to fucking, I had to ring the fucker up and tell him about 9-11 because he didn't have a fucking tv tv is the greatest invention that our people have ever invented i don't care if you want to include water in that list yep or other inventions but tv's number one i bet those people aren't feeling so smug now that coronavirus happens anybody who calls tv the idiot box or say you're rotting your brain with your TV. TV has made me money, has made me friends, has fucking made me successful. I will not hear a bad word about TV or alcohol. My two best friends.

The two of them together have got me through a lot of hard times. I'm a big fan of both of them. Now, I won't always speak highly of cocaine. I think cocaine has a lot of hard times. I'm a big fan of both of them. Now, I won't always speak highly of cocaine. I think cocaine has a lot of downside. Yeah. But TV and alcohol, winners. Carry on, Forrest. It's just like you're special.

You're ranting. Okay, side effects. With increased blood alcohol concentration, slowed reflexes and reaction time, slurred speech, memory trouble, blackouts and memory loss, nausea and vomiting. You forgot that one.

Oh, yeah. Loss of physical coordination, passing out, and blood pressure, heartbeat, breathing changes. So there you go. 0.2%. 0.02% is the lowest level of blood alcohol concentration. 0.05% is when you start to become your behavior becomes exaggerated you were right though you said you were right and then you were wrong you first you

said 0.3 percent um would be when you die and then you said 10 you did a fake out on me i went 0.3 you went i know but i always answer this i I go, okay, I'm writing notes down. And sometimes you like take my little grunts. I would hate to date you. I would hate for you to date me too. You've got to learn his grunts. But it would be an awkward thing like, I love you, Forrest. Really? Okay.

Prove it. I don't know. We can ask Bianca. I think I'm i'm pretty her name is bianca stop calling her bianca it's bianca i know i'm doing a dickhead i'm drunk uh you you crush this section does food affect how quickly you get drunk and what about bubbly alcohol so it's like yeah you're eating a large meal before you drink slows down the effects of alcohols because you eat combined alcohol and food stays longer in the stomach

like the alcohol doesn't go straight to your bloodstream. And then fizzy alcohol will make you feel the effects of alcohol more quickly as the bubbles increase the pressure in your stomach, forcing alcohol into your bloodstream faster. So a mixed drink with the mixer as a carbonated beverage will actually get into your bloodstream faster than

a straight shot. Oh no! the mixer as a carbonated beverage will actually get into your bloodstream faster than a straight shot. Oh, no. Kelly coming with the facts. Facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts. Kelly's got them. Facts. Do women get drunker faster than men? I thought that was actually a myth,

but I read many different articles that said it is true, and this is because men tend to have more muscle tissue than women, and then muscle has more water than fat, so alcohol will be diluted more in a person with more muscle tissue. And also, women are also thought to have less of the enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase, if I'm saying it right, which breaks down alcohol. So they don't have enough. That's why you get drunk, the way we talked about earlier,

and you don't have enough of this enzyme, or when it's overworked, then the alcohol's just going. And it's not just alcohol that makes women get angrier than men quicker. And I'm going to stop this conversation. All right. I was shooting daggers at you with my eyes. I know. Kelly got upset with me.

I was very upset. Calm down, Brian. Okay. I'm surprised you remember my past name. Thank you. It feels like I'm respected. Give me another beer. Give me another beer.

Give me another beer. Give me another beer. Give me another beer. Give me another beer. Give me another beer. Give me another beer. Give me another beer. Give me another beer.

Give me another beer. Give me another beer. Give me another beer. Give me another beer. You said there was 2 million alcohol-related deaths a year in the U.S.? Yeah. And then you said there's 2.1 million in the year in the u.s yeah and then you said there's 2.1 million in the whole world i got i got i got one of a lot of damage i got i got one

of them right um no you got both of them wrong um as they admitted that 88 000 people die annually from alcohol related deaths in the u.s which is less than the coronavirus yep and that's the only ones that are reported. Topical. So it is the third leading preventable cause of death in the United States. I want to say we recorded this four months ago. We don't know the stats. Alcohol is the third leading preventable cause of death in the United States. The first is tobacco, and the second is poor diet and physical inactivity.

And I've nailed all of them. And the world... You hit the trifecta of preventable deaths. If you add lobster rolls into those stats, I'm fucked. Yeah. In the world, there are 3.3 million deaths. All right. So it says 5.9% of all deaths are believed to be due to alcohol each year in the world.

So I guess that's like accidents. That counts like drunk driving accidents. Yeah, but I think that's a shady statistic because it could be alcoholism could lead to diabetes, could lead to all this, could lead to several things that kill you later on in life. Like no one ever went, oh, he died of blah, blah, blah. Thank God the alcohol saved him. So you're saying that the number is estimated to be low? I don't know.

Well, here's the next question. Does alcohol have any health benefits? You said no grapes. That's basically, I'm cliff noting what you said. Lutenants. Antioxidants. There are some health benefits. I really like this.

I'm just going to read exactly what this says because it's very funny. It says, drinking small quantities of alcohol alcohol less than one drink per day for women and two drinks per day for men is associated with a decreased risk of heart disease stroke diabetes and early death drinking more than this amount however increases the risk of heart disease diabetes high blood pressure one drink a day but it's like it's right it's like of course it's like this thing that people enjoy doing. They're like, drink two and you'll be good. If you drink three, you're fucked.

Let's be honest, though, for the health benefits. Let's be honest. The world's population is 7 billion people. It would be about 4 billion without alcohol. Like, alcohol is doing a lot of heavy lifting on people having sex. I don't know. Mormons have a lot of kids. They don't drink.

Yeah, but they're bored because they don't drink they don't have the good kids john lennon was never produced because his parents were sober you know what i mean like like the fun fucking rock and roll kids were all come from now you asked me when we knew we were going to do this you asked me to look this up about which countries drink the most this is hard to actually nail down i didn't even ask you this question okay oh ask me now ask me now well there's not there's the stats are all over the place is the problem right so um i have something that's like from 2016 that has alcohol consumption liters per year per you know per capita and it says ages 15 plus for all of these okay no more okay so i started drinking i've had problems with the drink and all that so i started drinking at 14 right when i started

drinking heavy drinking right heavy drinking it was parties at 14 and it's funny because my mother was super strict with me as a child and you know i'll tell you a funny story about my mom just a quick one right so my mother if you watch the special passed away a bit over a year ago right uh my mother okay so what happened was whenever i someone said something nasty there was there was a comment that was so nasty about me on the internet it was literally like i hope your child dies like it was that level of you're a piece of shit i hope your child dies and i thought well obviously i going to block this human being. And then the comment had one like on it.

And I thought, well, I'm going to block that as well. Right? And the one like was my mother. My mother thought she saw the comment and she thought, I'll flag that. All the nasty comments about me had a heart from my mother underneath. I thought, these people must have felt very empowered going oh she fucking hates him too oh even his mother like now now so my mother passed away you know god rest her soul or whatever super being you believe in

right now now my mother passed away she has a instagram account that she's sitting there dormant and facebook oh i thought you meant the Facebook page. Oh no, the Facebook page is another one. I'll tell you that story later. So my mother has an Instagram account. Now, in the last week my mother has started liking my photos again. It's been

very fucking creepy. Oh no. Because my father's inherited her phone and then he's gotten onto the account. He's had my niece show him how to use the account. And so my mom started liking my photos again. And then you get a little bit of hope, like, oh, maybe everything's okay. Now, I really think it's because my dad wants to perv on Instagram models,

and he doesn't know how to work the internet, and this is the closest he can get to porn. I'm just liking your photos. And then he'll search boobs. So that entire account will just be him and Brad Pitt's jacket. So my dad started like, now the Facebook story is funny because what happened, and tell me if I should stop talking because I'm drunk, but what happened was my mother typed

into Facebook fans of Jim Jefferies. Now this account still exists if you want to log on and you want to join in, right? My mother went fans of Jim Jefferies. Now, this account still exists if you want to log on and you want to join in, right? My mother went fans of Jim Jefferies because she was constantly looking at my career online, which is very sweet, right? And she thought she was hitting a join button,

but she hit a create button. So she created her own page, which was called fans of Jim Jefferies. And then she got lost within the page on facebook where she started typing like is anyone here i don't know how to get out that is my favorite when when older people join a group like the podcast group for instance and they're like can you please like delete me from this group i'm like delete your fucking side and i i have a lot of fun just letting them.

Yeah. They can't, they can't help the old people. They'll be dead soon. Yeah. That's a good point. Um, and so the top countries,

is that funny? So I know that you're listening to me right now being insecure. Was that, was that, was that funny? Yeah. Thanks. Thanks,

Jack. I pay you, Jack. The other people that I pay in this Jack. I pay you, Jack. The other people I don't pay in this room. Jack just turned 25, everyone. Jack just turned 25. And his shirt turned 70. Jack, stand up in front of the camera

so people can see you. For those of you listening at home, Jack is wearing, I don't know, something from the Gabriel Iglesias collection, I'm pretty sure. Oh, we love Gabriel Iglesias. I like him too, but it's like... This is the Jimmy Buffet collection. Jack got that shirt because he ate a fucking 20 pound steak

at Margaritaville. Yep. That was the first stop when we went to Vegas for your last show. Jack's like, can we do lunch at Margaritaville? I'm like, fucking hell. I drank Kelly and Justin Martindale at Margaritaville? I'm like, fucking hell. It's funny because my father is trying to set Jack up with my niece. In Australia?

Yeah, Sammy. He's a lovely girl. She's great. She's a very sweet girl. She's studying to be a nurse. And my dad went, I've got a good fella for you in America. I've got a good bloke. comes from coca-cola money he wears a shirt like jimmy buffett like no one's business you could do a lot worse than this fella i love that those are the two selling points coke money jimmy buffett shirts now what's going to

happen jack is you're going to find out very soon that my mom's going to start liking your photo. So I've got a bunch of different lists here and stuff. I can just go based on what was from the World Health Organization. Ooh, controversial. 2016, total alcohol consumption per capita, age 15 plus. I'm going to say Britain's number one. They call it binge Britain. Britain binge drinks worse than any country I've ever lived in. i've lived in australia this is per capita i believe

australia drinks more than america i believe britain drinks more than australia i think it goes britain australia canada america germany that's my order so i got a couple different lists here but i'll read off this one it says world health organization uh data from 2016 ages 15 plus um for developed nations number one is a czech republic 14.1 liters per year per person consumed this is per capita um and then australia is number two yeah baby yeah then portugal slovakia hungary then the uk finland france poland luxembourg new zealand ireland and so on the u.s is down less than 24 it's not i i can't believe that australia beats the uk i think if australia legalizes per capita though i think if australia legalizes weed then our stats will drop but at the moment we're okay part of the reason why australia

is so high is because a gram of cocaine costs 350 dollars we're over here i've been told it costs it costs it costs 50 dollars right so so you know what i mean like australia because we're so far away we can only have legal drugs and the most legal drug of them all is alcohol so and who drinks the least i'm gonna say the japanese no this is easy you should have gotten this it's all the countries where it's oh saudi arabia libya pakistan kuwait yemen saudi arabia bangladesh comoros like all the countries where it would be illegal and they even still says 0.1 percent and what am i saying what am i saying what am i saying? What am I saying? What am I saying?

People who don't drink. Women have no rights in those countries. Right? Women have no rights. Maybe if they involved a bit of alcohol, things could free up a bit. Okay. Okay.

Put it out there. Fact. So what we're going to start doing now is we're going to start drinking some more. We're going to charge them. We got a list here of all these different. I must be drunk. I just said Kelly bear.

At least it wasn't Brian. I've never had a nickname for you. Hey, Kelly bear. Jim, you have this piece of paper, this piece of paper. Okay. So these are all of the liquors and beers and wine, everything that's on this table in front of you in these mini solo cups. Okay, so we have about 20, 30 different things to drink. Now, what I want to do is I'm going to...

I forgot we were doing this. I'm going to... I want to see if you can... And we'll talk about your answers to all the different liquors as we're doing them, but I want to see if you can tell what you're drinking just without us telling you what it is. So I'm going to say a number to Jack,

and you're going to have to set the... All right, I'm going to pull my earphones off and plug my ears so that Jack can set down the microphone. No, no, no. You're going to turn down your headphones. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

No, no, this is just the type of alcohol. I don't have to tell... Oh, yeah. You're taking the headphones off. All right, Jack, get him... The first one we're going to do is number seven. Number seven. You're not listening, Jim?

This is Bacardi. Number seven. Am I allowed to know the top of alcohol? Both whispering, Gilly. Am I allowed to know the top of alcohol? No, you got to tell us what type of alcohol it is. Yep. That's it is. Yeah. It's good.

That's tequila. Okay. That is rum. That was wrong? Yeah, rum. Yeah, rum and rum. That was Bacardi rum. Oh, yeah.

You were right about rum. Rum is sugar-based. It's a sugar cane. West Indies, it is very popular in the West Indies because there's a lot of sugar cane grown there and sugar cane. That's white rum. That's Bacardi. Yeah, we just said that. Did you drink the whole thing, by the way?

I did drink the whole thing. He took a shot of it. Next! The next one is number six. Are his headphones down? Yeah, yeah. Sailor Jerry rum. You gotta say the type rum

what do you got there that was um oh crushy oh god yeah what kind of alcohol was that that was a whiskey based alcohol i'm gonna say i'm gonna say that was that was uh bourbon that was rum again that was that was uh what's a sailor jerry one of your best problems sailor jerry okay uh it declines already do you think you're gonna get any of these right no are you okay i'm okay okay okay what we're gonna do now we're gonna try different uh vodkas do you would you say vodka is your favorite liquor vodka is the the drinker champions well wait is it your favorite liquor vodka well he's a champion vodka is the one that i buy the most yeah okay because it's easiest to mix in with other things but do you think you could

tell the difference between a good and a bad vodka? I do. Okay. Would you consider... Okay, here's the type of vodkas that we have. We have Belvedere, Elk Rider, Smirnoff, Ciroc, Platinum 7X, Wheatley's Tito's. What's Wheatley? What's Platinum 7X? We don't know these.

Platinum 7X, that's seven times it's a good vodka. What would you say is a good one here? Belvedere is a good one? On that list, I'm going to say Belvedere, Cirox, okay. Tito's is a good. Tito's, you know what I'll tell you wrong with Tito's? They're always bigging themselves up. They go, handmade vodka.

They're always bigging themselves up. They go, handmade vodka. They're all handmade. Stop telling me there's a special machine that gets the potatoes out of the ground and fucking does it. They're all handmade. I think there are machines that do it. I would guess that there are machines. Farming equipment that'll do that. Jim, so do you think you could tell the difference between Tito's and Wheatley? Yeah, I do.

Okay. Okay. First, okay, so the numbers we need are 21 and 22. All right. All right. Let's do 21 first. Wait, wait, wait. Can you hear us, Jim?

I got it now. Okay. All right. You whisper. You're better at whispering. 21 is Wheatley. It's like ASMR. You know, like when those people like that you can listen to them brush their hair.

You can say it afterwards. I can name myself. The people at home want to know what we're doing. We can also force Luis to throw... Well, I guess if you're only listening, you can't say it. I'll tell you what. We got to do one. Yeah, but 21 first.

I have a lot of opinions on wine. We only have one wine. And another thing. You don't know me you know the problem with wine is I'm not a wine drinker it's like these people who buy

expensive wine women drink more wine than men I don't know if that's a stat but I feel like it's a thing but men are always the ones sniffing the cork and all that type of stuff fuck off you condescending little fuck. Women do it so they can sleep with people like me. And men do it just to be dickheads.

All right, so drink the one in your left hand first. 21. So this is either going to be Wheatley or Tito's. Try that. And then try number 22. It's either Wheatley or Tito's. And is this vodka? Don't fucking.

All right. There you go. And that's 22. Which one is Tito's? 21 or 22? 21 is the better one. Yep. And so that's Tito's?

Yeah. That is wrong. That is Wheatley. That's a brand we've never heard of. Well, I guess we're not going to have Tito's as a sponsor. But Wheatley, give us a call. Wheatley, we love you. You're fucking kidding.

Jack, Jack, now you have to do it. Sit here. Come and sit here. Why does he have to sit there? Come on, sit on my lap. Sit on my lap. Now, Jack, Jack, it's your birthday. You taste them. I'm not going to tell you.'s your birthday. You taste them.

I'm not going to tell you. Close your eyes. Corona. You tell me which one's better. Now, taste that one. Don't open your eyes. All right. You remember what that one is?

I got it. Now, taste that one. Which one is better? Just pick one. Second one. That's Tito's. Jack's got a better palate than you. More refined.

Jack's got a more refined palate. Tito's will give you my email. Okay. Tequila. Tito's is our unsolicited sponsor. Do you want to go tequila or whiskey gin next? Which one do you want? I don't give a fuck.

Okay, we'll go whiskey. This will bring us to what is the difference between whiskey, bourbon, and scotch. So we're going to get the two whiskeys out there right there. We've got, if you can hold up those bottles too, we've got Jack Daniels. I've already embarrassed myself. And we've got Evan, what's the other one called? Evan Williams. They look the exact same.

They clearly were like Evan Williams. They're not even trying. Evan Williams was like, yeah, hey, what are you talking about? We're not the same bottle. One's intolerable, one's intolerant. They're not even trying. Evan Williams was like, yeah, hey, what are you talking about? We're not the same bottle like this Jonah Jetson. One's intolerable, one's intolerant. You've drank plenty of Jack Daniels before. I don't know if you've had Evan Williams before.

Jack Daniels is my jam, man. We're going to need number 14 and 10. Okay. And while we're doing that. I'll know this. I've drank enough Jack Daniels to have enough. Okay. So which one did you drink first? What number?

Number 14. Okay. Then give it another sip of number 10 there. I don't. What? We should have brought a blood alcohol. Oh, we should have brought a blood alcohol oh we should have brought a breathalyzer number 14 went down easier yeah i don't know if that means it's right we're gonna say number 14 is jack daniels that's correct you got one right now blow in the jack's face and i'll tell you how drunk you are no i'm kidding don't do that um okay so that you so when you are. No, I'm kidding. Don't do that. Coronavirus. Can I have a joke, please?

Okay, so when you were talking about whiskey, scotch, and bourbon, you said whiskey is made with barley and it's American. Scotch is from Scotland. You didn't tell me it was made from bourbon. It's sweet whiskey with sugar and Tennessee. Yeah, and that was correct, right? No. You had them mixed up.

So the whiskey is... So here you go. Bourbon whiskey or bourbon is primarily made from corn mash. Produced in the United States. Because we make good corn. It's sweeter because we use corn syrup. That's the American way. It must be made from grain mash that is at least 51% corn

and aged in new charred oak containers. There's no minimum age for bourbon whiskey to be aged, but any variety aged less than four years must have the age stated on the label. Jack, I just want to hold off somewhere. For all the people out here who think I'm a pussy, Jack just offered me water, and what did I... I gave you go-fuck-yourself eyes, didn't I? Yeah.

Go-fuck-yourself, Jack. I? Yeah. Go fuck yourself, Jack. I'm not going to fucking drink your water. He's worried about the puddle that your brain's in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's trying to come up right now. It's dehydrated. It's turning into a raisin. Just pour it on his head.

I don't cross my legs this way because it feels good on my vagina, Jack. You have a vagina? That's a joke. Ah, okay. Shut up. Yeah, that was a joke too. Scotch whiskey is made from barley though so you got that and it's made it is malted barley and it can only bear the name if it's produced in scotland but whiskey but scotch and bourbon are both whiskeys so whiskey is kind of

like the whole realm of that interesting all right let's try beer now. Let's go. I don't, I don't be. Okay. So you said beer. There's, there's a Guinness. I love a bit of Guinness. You said you got that right with the beer.

You, you, you, you pulled it out of your ass. You said water and bar hops, but then you threw in barley and yeast. Yeah. Crush that one.

Yeah. Crushed it. And you also put love and passion, which probably true unless you're making it. I'm some of them not key. Yeah. Yeah. crushed it. And you also put love and passion, which is probably true. Unless you're making it into a bathtub. On some of them, not Keystone. Yeah, yeah. So there's different types of beers. There's like a lager, a pilsner, an IPA, a scout.

Hey, just to all my fans, I want you to know that these are regular-sized bottles, but I'm a giant. I literally said that yesterday at BevMo. I go, let's get the little bottles, and Jim can talk about how he's a giant. There's very few joys in this life than holding a little tiny bottle and acting like you're a giant. Okay, so there's crappy beer. There's IPA, just like regular, which is an India pale ale, and then there's a lager and a stout we have here.

Do you think you can tell the difference between them? Yeah. Okay, give him number 30 first. Tell me if this is college beer, as we're calling it, IPA, lager, or stout. That's like an IPA. That is not. That is Stone Tropic of Thunder.

No, but it's like a boutique beer. Yeah. It's like a boutique-y beer. You mean like a craft? A craft beer. Yeah, but still. Three out of the four of them are craft beers. IPA, lager, and stout are all craft beers. That one's still. Three out of the four of them are craft beers. IPA Lager and Stout are all craft beers.

That one's got a little bit of thick. No, I know beers. That's like a fancy, fancy like, oh, this one comes from blah, blah, blah. You've got to try this out. From the traffic of the- Every time you're in fucking Milwaukee, they give you a shit beer. And then they fucking give me the regular beer. Okay, give them a number 32.

32. No, not 32. Yeah, yeah yeah 32 is what we're gonna go 32 yeah 32 jack the numbers the numbers are written on it yeah you wrote them you wrote the numbers what kind of beer is this that's a fucking still vodka no we'll see what it is we stopped whispering at home what is he has his headphones that's a white claw that's not a beer it's like fucking sugar water it's a cherry white claw it's a white claw you got that one right you finished that we tried to throw that the the okay um what other beer give him the 29 and see if you can tell what this is is this an ipa or a stout i'll make it easy these

have a strong plastic aftertaste to them based on the shot glasses. That's an IPA. All right. You got that one. All right. All right. Now, tequila. You said you got that right, too.

Give me the stout. I want a bit of stout. Yeah. You want stout? Okay. This is Yeti Imperial Stout. I want a bit of stout. Okay.

Tequila, you said, comes from the agave plant, which is correct. Mezcal is also made from agave You said middle of Mexico I mean Jalisco Sort of yeah Jalisco is the state that all tequila has to be produced in For an order to be called tequila

I don't know about that No it's true Mezcal can actually be produced in other regions of Mexico And still be called mezcal But it's still specific to certain regions And you are right it has a smokier flavor I do not like mezcal for some reason when i drink it my taste buds perceive it as like a medical taste like how i how i envision like plastic band-aids would taste that's what

mezcal tastes like to me that's what they're going to give you when you give birth i am not going to be giving birth okay so one and two are tequilas. One of these is... If I have enough of these shots, Kelly. One of these... Kelly Bear. One of these is... Kelly Bear. Come here, Kelly Bear.

Let me put a baby inside you. Funny because it's true one of these two is a good tequila and one is a shitty one so drink number one first what do you think about that tell them what that is Kelly

number one yeah you didn't hear that you didn't hear okay and then number two number two is Jose Cuervo Gold

yummy do you guys like this I'm gonna say they're both they're both fine yeah I'm gonna say number one was the better tequila

yes that's Casamigos which is definitely a better tequila it was a lot smoother the other one had more of a kick of it but number one

was a better tequila so do you know who owns. The other one had more of a kick of it, but number one was a better tequila. So do you know who owns Casamigos or is one of the owners? George Clooney. There you go, which leads me to our next thing. We have a list of celebrities that there's a lot of celebrities that have ownership or branding of liquors. Too many celebrities. Way too many.

Pitbull has a vodka. It's called Volley 305. It's a vodka made in Miami, so it can't be good at all. At this stage, I would like to advertise, give me that one vodka! We should make that. You could make it. New merch idea.

There's no problem with making that. There's a problem. We don't have a distillery. Other than that, we've got to... We can't buy tiny bottles and sell them on the internet. So pit bulls, pit bulls, vodka is called Voli 305. And it's said to be still 17 times and filtered through a freeze filter,

a gravity filter, a coconut filter, and maybe a filter. Oh, this is a joke made of reflective sunglasses. Yeah. He's from fucking Florida. He gets refined over bath salts.

Billy Bush has a whiskey. It's called Gravel in the Pussy. The least powerful member of the Bush family is co-founding the world's most incomprehensible whiskey company. It's called Sun Beach Whiskey. It's unaged, crystal clear whiskey. It's come in two

flavors, Island Coconut and Bonfire Cinnamon. Disgusting. Bonfire Cinnamon? Chaz Palmatieri has a vodka as well who's chas palmatieri yeah he's an actor he was in um a bronx tale he was like the gangster guy nope robert de niro has a vodka bill murray has a slovenian vodka um 50 cent as we know you know the the the the the one you like the crystal head vodka dan echoed dan echoed they have it ranked low in the list here they say that i love it i 50 cent as we know you know the one you like the crystal head vodka Dan Aykroyd they have it ranked low on the list here

I love it I love the bottle it's filtered through Herkimer diamonds why would that be good I don't know I'm telling you it's the best vodka I've ever had the number one ranked celebrity alcohol is Marilyn Manson's Absinthe.

Yeah. And we must try that. Couldn't find it yesterday. Couldn't find it at Bethmo. Shocking. But we're going to need to find that. It's called Mansinthe. And it's easy.

We can all drink it and try to suck our own dicks. I always like Jodi Arias vodka swimming pool. No, is's Casey Anthony. Fuck that joke up. I've been drinking. I have a list of the 10 most expensive liquors here. Feel free to grab another liquor and tell us what number

it is. Here's one. I got one for you. You got to talk into the microphone. Just don't eat into the microphone. Give him number 13. That was the one I was one for you. You got to talk into the microphone. Just don't eat into the microphone. Give him number... 13. Yeah, yeah, 13. That was the one.

Thank you. That was the one I was looking for. Now, this is... It's probably... Technically a liqueur, I think. Yeah, you probably actually would be good with a pretzel. Give it a sniff. Jim's sniffing it.

It's a smelly vodka. It's got a sweetness to it. Can you hear now? You can whisper it, Kali. This is called Screwball Peanut Butter Whiskey. You should do ASMR for real. Thank you. That's Southern Comfort.

No, it's a peanut butter whiskey called Screwball. It was the same shit. Southern Comfort, you are pretty close, though, because Southern Comfort does have a lot of fruits flavor and stuff like that alright so most expensive bottles of liquor

in the world what do you think the number one is how expensive is it and do you know what it's called it'd be a whiskey I'll give you a hint

it's a vodka it'd be a vodka and the most expensive vodka would be I don't know it'd be some pretentious cunt it'd be

it'd be $400,000 a bottle. It is $3.7 million a bottle. It is, it is. This is why billionaires shouldn't exist. It's encrusted with 3,000 diamonds on the bottle. It's like, just buy some jewelry. I know. Like, the thought that you would have this really expensive bottle in your house that you couldn't wear anywhere or do anything with, it like what the fuck are you doing so now and then they have another one there's a tequila three

and a half million that has diamonds so it's all these ones have fucking diamonds in it shit but there is a bottle of wine that's this is just a regular bottle of wine okay everyone you're one yeah piss break wait wait just guess the bottle of wine before your piss break hold on because we'll stop there. Get back on. Put the headphones on. Four million. No, no, no.

It's an 1811 Chateau de Wiquim. The slope. What is the price? Five million. He's a fucking sloth. Five million. He's a sloth. It's $130,000.

If you guys want to watch this extended footage, we'll put it on Patreon. This would be a good week to watch this on YouTube. Yes. 100% if you're listening to this episode, go watch this on YouTube. It's much better. By all means, subscribe to us on our audio. Actually, this would be a good time. Let's talk about that.

Oh, yeah. Okay. So, yeah. Here. We don't have any ads this week, but I keep forgetting to tell you this guys if you're already listening to our podcast great if you haven't subscribed and you're listening please subscribe go in and rate it write a comment you know get the name of the podcast wrong if you're going to write a wrong comment or something like that um you know we're always down for you to also our instagram page is idKAT. IDKAT Podcast.

IDKAT Podcast. We have clips from... Oh, sorry. I'm supposed to be looking in there. I was looking like... We have clips from each week on there. So subscribe to that. And then if you have any... Like a lot of times we'll share stories and stuff that people...

We've done that, right? Yeah. I don't know. I'm just talking on my ass. Yeah. If you post us on your social media, we'll share the stories of you listening. But also this week, we're going to do something different. So if you share a clip from this week's episode on your social media, tag us.

You'll be entered to win. Jim will sign one of these beach ball things. So three people. And he won't wash it. We'll send these out to three people. You can fucking sell it on eBay. Nobody gives a shit. There'll be a little bit of beer like that left in it too. We'll ship it. We'll put it in the box. A little bit of backwash. It's out to three people. You can fucking sell it on eBay. Nobody gives a shit. There'll be a little bit of beer like that left in it, too.

We'll ship it. We'll put it in the box. A little bit of backwash. It's going to be great. And we're going to slow. We're going to snail mail it. My old white head is going to be dirty. Can you text me?

No, we're still recording. We were like, we were like, we were, we were. My old white head is never going to be light. Okay. I was telling you to come here. We're still recording, Jim. Yeah. We were promoting stuff so

okay uh and he's back so let's give you one more liquor and then we'll start wrapping this up i think we're good here what what is he has he not oh here you go here's one you should enjoy uh number 26 give that to jim there jack number 26 this is a yeah you should get this one no problem no problems 26 yeah there you go this is one that uh you should definitely get sick off of you drink too much the bible nope gold schlager it's got cinnamon yeah but it's got the little gold flakes in there you didn't see see them? Ah. Ah. Quick, quick, Jack. Get him number 35.

Wash that down. Number 35 is one of our only wines that we have here. It's from a great vineyard called Barefoot. Now, if you know anything about Barefoot, what is it? About $3 a bottle? That was about $8. It's a white wine. I don't drink wine.

It's a white wine. Barefoot's a shitty wine, right?foot's definitely like the the value brand um but it also you remember the the awards forest oh yeah won 2016 at the indianapolis international wine festival so you know it's pretty good it's called barefoot yeah even even when you mix it with something it's pretty good. It's called Barefoot. Even when you mix it with something, it's just called Barefoot and Pregnant. All right. So grab a drink, whatever you want, Jim. We'll tell you what it is.

We're going to wrap this up. Just give me a fun one, Jake. They're all fun. Oh, wait. 15 is the Gold Bar. Give them that one. Oh, yeah. Gold Bar.

15, Gold Bar Whiskey. 25 is Old Smoky Moonshine. Did you know that was a moonshine? Guys, watch this episode on YouTube. Do not fuck this up. So I have a couple of fun facts, dinner party facts that I try to find. Oh, my God. Give it back to me, Jack.

I don't want it again. I'm done here. Here's the two Fifteen Yeah no the gold is The gold one is Yeah gold bar It looks like a gold bar

There it is right there You sure you want to have a barbecue At your house after this? Alright so our dinner party facts One of the facts that I thought was interesting Is during prohibition The US government poisoned alcohol To discourage alcoholism, killing as many as 10,000 people. Jim's dead.

Yeah. We may have poisoned Jim. What have we done to this beautiful home? Are you okay, Jim? You don't know me. Here's another dinner party fact. The melody that Francis Scott Key assigned to accompany the lyrics of the Star Spangled Banner was a popular English drinking song called To Ancrian in Heaven.

Did you know that? Yep. Oh, you did? Sure, sure. I sent that to you. You did? Yeah. It was in one of the things I sent.

Here's the drinking song. Sing along, Jim. It sounds like a... Drinking and fun. What are you doing? It's a drinking song. Wait, so what's based off of this? The Star Spangled Banner?

It doesn't even sound like the Star Spangled Banner. Listen to it. Listen. The stars were still there. That's how you got the national anthem. That's what he said. He took the same key. Yeah, there you go.

Hear it? Got drunk in the day. And we watched. Oh, I am so wasted. I don't care if my wife's home. You don't care if your wife's home? For the land of the wee. What's going on?

There you go. All right. I think that's it. I think we're good. We're a top 100 podcast. Number four in Australia. There you go. All right. I think that's it. I think we're good. We're a top 100 podcast. Number four in Australia. Number four in Australia.

Australia is the number one drinking nation in the world. If you don't make us number three, if you don't make us number three, I'll be very disappointed. The podcast you mean? Yeah. Because of the drinking episode. They're all drunk listening at home.

They're going, you knowralians are doing right now this is going ah fucking american pussies they don't know and jim's the only person who flies our flag or something there you go this is to prevent hangovers that should work am i am i going to drink this i think you drink it before you drink right no i think you drink it before you go to bed which will be 15 minutes from now for Jim. Their slogan is celebrate and feel great. I don't think you drink it. Do you drink it now? I would read the

directions. Maybe we shouldn't drink the whole bottle. Let's see. Oh, good. No directions. Perfect. I guess maybe just drink the whole bottle then. You think they should have directions Because people can drive on that There you go

I've lost me funny She was right Arkansas Gazette's right Intolerable Alright that's the podcast You want to say goodbye Jim Or I'm completely sober If you're at a party Oh, I'm completely sober.

If you're at a party. Don't tell them anything from this podcast. If you're at a party and someone disagrees with you and they make a good point, you just look at them and you say, well, I don't know about that. That's not even it. And you walk away. Good night, Australia. That's not it.

Actually, that's the best description he's done so far. You get your own podcast, partner. You're all fuck off. Hey, everybody. Jason Ellis here from the Jason Ellis Show podcast, reminding you that my podcast, new episodes every Wednesday, downloadable where all podcasts are available come see my friends Michael and Kevin as we talk to you about what's awesome what sucks

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