I Don't Know About That - ATM Episode: 7 - It's hard to do cocaine in zero gravity

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

At this moment is back! Jim and Amos tackle the recent Blue Origin trip, bring back the dire wolf, Argentinian food, US kids making iPads, and Jim talks about how he got his recent head injury. SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: https://www.jimjefferies.comIG: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferiesFB: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferiesTwitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgillFB: https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's back baby. The ATM podcast with me, Jim Jefferies. Here I am with Amos Gill. How you doing Gill, you all right? On this Easter. Easter week we have risen. We have come back for Easter. Why is Easter so late?

What is with Easter? Always moving around the calendar. Just give it a date that we can all rely on. It's always because of the Friday. It has to be a good Friday. Seems give it a date that we can all rely on. It's always, it's because of the Friday. It has to be a good Friday. Seems like it's late this year. It doesn't, well, you know, but Jesus's birthday is more of a thing with 25.

He gets a, he gets a big birthday celebration, Jesus, every year, every year. But I wouldn't mind just one date. Well, yeah, you've got to get the eggs on a Sunday, but why is it so late this year? What's happened? Mate, this is not the way I thought we'd start. I've got no idea why it's late.

I don't know. As a Catholic myself, I know very little about it. It was quite shameful. My kids already had an Easter egg hunt with his kids from preschool, so I think I'm home and clear. I don't have to do it. I don't mind Easter because you just get an egg. Look, we're-

Home decor, shit. What? You don't like the decor? No, not your house. I just mean for what is an extremely important thing in the Christian world. You know, there's no wreath. There's no sort of tree like thing. Yeah, you get to think you get to dress in pastels. That's what I mean. There's nothing.

There's the meal. What's the meal? This Sunday, I'm going to this Sunday. I'm going to Chicago with my girlfriend's family. And you don't go, oh, it's going to be a, it's going to be a what? What do you have? Being a Catholic, do you not eat meat on Good Friday? Oh, it depends if I'm around the right relatives. Cause that's, there's some old relatives that's really stick to it.

Be one of the only days I never liked fish growing up. And so you would get like some fish fingers. Okay. Well you growing up was every Friday, no meat? No. Cause that's why the fillet of fish was invented. You know that right? The fillet of fish was invented because McDonald's wasn't selling enough burgers because on Friday because the Catholics wouldn't eat meat. And you being a Catholic and also one of those extreme Catholics, Eastern European

Catholic, you would have been molested and you would have loved it. You would have just been happy to be chosen. It depends. It depends how high ranking the priest was. A bishop. I'm a lucky boy. All right. So you've been off in... We can start again. What's wrong with this? This is good.

This is good. This is good. People want to know where we've been. You've been in Perth and Adelaide. Yeah, I've done nothing. I've been in Melbourne doing a game show and Argentina doing a game show. I can't say what the game show is in Argentina yet because they haven't released the press statement on the... I've been telling everyone about it. You can tell people. I've told people about it but I can't

officially tell people about it you know what I mean. What is fun it is for American television because I kept telling everyone we can't do the podcast Jim's doing a TV show in Argentina and they were like fuck he's fallen off. Still doesn't mean I haven't. But it is for American TV and it's a big lavish game show. You can picture the type of thing. We're outdoors. In the forests? I'm saying too much.

They call them jungles down there. It's near the Amazon. I was in a place, I was in a little place called I Aguazu and Aguazu is on the Aguazu Falls, which is like one of the Seven Wonders of the World and people, you should see it. Just stop there for a second. I hear Seven Wonders of the World whipped around a lot. Do we have a set seven because everything's a fucking wonder of the world at this point. They have a set seven, yeah, they have a set seven. And is that one of them?

That is one of them. Jack, Google me the Seven Wonders of the World. Go off the top of your head. Ah, there'd be, there'd be the Iguazu Falls. There'd be, there's the chick that I shagged about 20 years ago that I still think of. She's still around and they've still held up. There'd be two, there'd be two more of the wonders. Yeah. Um, I reckon probably Uluru's got to be one.

Uluru over the Great Barrier Reef. Great Barrier Reef. We're not getting two. Why not? Why can't Australia have two? Please. I would put Margot Robbie in as one. I'm looking that up right now.

The Seven Wonders of the World. I think it changes each year. Cause there's a time where people go, this is getting mid. Seven Wonders of the World. You've got the pyramids of geyser right the the the the the Coliseum the Great Pyramids the Great Wall of China looks not up there and also not only is it not up there but they're bloody put up nine of them all right I think it's bullshit this whole Wonders of the World thing. Seven official Wonders of the World a list of ancient

and modern wonders. Okay we got... Anyway look I'll tell you what the Iguazu falls you gotta see him you gotta see him they put Niagara to shame it looks like you're in Wakanda. I'm sorry to live fact check the wonders of the world claim but there you go. Jack sent a message over there that ping. There seems to be different sections. There's seven wonders of the ancient world, there's seven new things that people built and then there's... Seven natural wonders. Am I in the seven natural wonders? It's not even in that. Everyone was telling me while I was there. Are you ready? Victoria Falls. Where's that?

That's in Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe, yeah, that's a good one. Paricton Volcano. Okay, the point is it's some very nice waterfalls that people should visit. So you've already been paid off by the Argentinian Tourism Commission. Oh, bloody. I tell you what, the food in Aguazú was just the worst food I've ever eaten in my life. Like it was just, everyone who goes, I go to Argentina, the food's goinguazu was just the worst food I've ever eaten in my life. Like it was just, everybody goes, I go to Argentina,

the food's going to be amazing. Oh, there's steaks. First of all, you can't hang a whole country's cuisine on a steak. And then they go, oh, and chimichurri. It's just a sauce, man. It's just like, I don't know, a pesto or whatever, a paste or whatever you want to call it. But it's not enough to go, oh, our country's got great food.

The food was flavorless. It wasn't seasoned. It was always just overcooked steak with. Because you were probably in the Nazi war criminal section of Argentina. I was going to be in the you want to be in the Italian Spanish. Guarzu is where Brazil, Argentina and Paraguay all meet at these falls. Right. So there's we could see I could see from my hotel window. It's in the world's most 25 most beautiful intersections on the planet.

A few hundred meters away, I could see Brazil, right? I could see Brazil anyway. So the food was dire. I go in the end, I was so done with just the crap. The epinators are all right. Yeah, but you're working on a TV show, so you're just eating staff catering. So you can't criticize. No, no, no. I went out to all the restaurants.

I had time off. I wasn't just there all day. I explored and the food in a guazu is not good right now. Maybe in Buenos Aires, it's all right. But in a guazu, they're fucking phoning it in, bro. Man, if I told you, if you landed in Shepperton or in a view, if I told you that if you landed in Shepperton, or if you went to Piringa, South Australia, and judged Australian cuisine on a couple of local taverns. I tell you what, mate, you go into a local tavern

and you get some pub grub from one of those places, be all right, you go into any bakery in any shit town in Australia, and you'll get yourself a good pie on a Lamington, I can assure you of that, right? Even if I go to a shit little town in America, middle middle America at least I'll be able to get some fast food that I'll be able to recognize and they had nothing man they just had the same touristy traps restaurants and there was one stage I went is that a sandals resort and didn't like the all-impulsive package

one time I go off to the hard rock cafe and the guy doesn't speak English. First of all, what's all that about? Give it a go, give it a go. It's a good language. Anyway, so then no one's spoke English. I go into the Hard Rock Cafe and I just want to order like a hamburger and just like that. The food was not great. It was substandard Hard Rock Cafe food. And I've eaten a lot of Hard Rock Cafes around the world. I work for the Hard Rock Cafe a lot. But the the Iguazu ones are good. And then the guy goes, we have included tip.

I don't know. He's Eastern European, I guess. He goes, we have included tip. And I was like, no worries. He charged me 50 bucks American on like an eight dollar meal tip. And it's like. And God bless him for doing that because the Hard Rock Cafe has infiltrated that nation in a trade war and sucked out their local restaurant economy

and may he take that back by getting rich Westerners like you going down there who is like, I don't want chimichurri, I wanna fucking, I hope you got the messy burger at least. There was a messy burger. I know I've had it. The messy burger at the Hard Rock Cafe. I've seen that.

There's a messy chicken and a messy beef. Yes. And here's the thing, here's the thing, like the Hard Rock was okay, but I had a hamburger in another place and even in the photo, you know, you know when they have photos of their food, how dare they? They, this is how they built the burger. Frozen patty that was like a hockey park, right? And then, and then tomato was the next ingredient on. Yeah. Then lettuce and then cheese was put on top of the lettuce and the tomato with the beef down there. Now, look, I know it's an impoverished country. I know not everyone's a bloody chef, but come on, my 12 year old can do that.

My 12 year old cooks a banger of a... If my son Hank moved to Argentina, he would be the greatest chef in Iguazu. Well, why didn't you start a foundation? People would travel from all around to be ripped off. You could be like Princess Diana over there and it's just video footage of you putting cheese on top of the patty, being melted, blowing their fucking minds. Why would you put the cheese? And then there's no sauce. No sauce.

You're meant to be at a churrasco on the street eating some beautiful Argentinian beef. I had so much Argentinian beef. These are my... I was there for three weeks. I was there for three weeks. You're the guy that goes to Prague and you're like, the five guys here is shit. No, no, no, no, no. I had Sorrentino's. They love, they love, hummus, hummus, hummus, hummus.

Like the ham, everything's ham flavoured. And no one loves a cracker more than the Argentinians. Well, what do you mean by cracker? I just mean a slave owner from back in the day. What do you think I meant, right? No one likes a Ritz cracker or a saltine more than the Argentinians. My dressing room and my hotel room.

I think you're in a FEMA camp. I'm telling you, it was piled with crackers. I would take, I've got photos. Sounds like heaven. You've never seen so many crackers in all your life. Anyway, so I was there for three weeks. The three weeks before that, I was in Australia. So I was in Australia doing a game show.

And then I found out I got the other game show while I was out there. So I didn't really, you know, and in Australia, I was having a wonderful time. I was just eating prawns and bread and mayonnaise, right? The fact that I haven't got scurvy is beyond me. This is like a really low class version of Meghan Markle's TV show where she just talks

about what she ate and how to prepare it well. No, okay, when I went, I'm gonna start from the beginning of me too. Charles, what else you've been eating? I'm gonna start from the beginning, because we've got a lot of catch up to do. I'm gonna start from the beginning of me too. So I have to fly, the first time I have to fly

from fucking, here we are, which country we in? America. In America, yeah. I have to fly down to Melbourne. I was on an American Airlines flight. The airline couldn't have been nicer. The staff were all lovely. There was a woman who was on the flight

who was wearing a Matildas track suit. The Matildas are the female soccer team. Was she, was she staff? She was, she was staff player management, something like that. She was a more mature lady. When I say more mature, she was in a 40. She wasn't in football years anymore. Right.

Um, maybe in her fifties, uh, look like she could have been an athlete back in the day. Uh, when you go off in a long flight like that, you're flying for a long time, you're leaving at night, but you're flying into the sun and all this type of stuff, right? You shut your blinds. Now more modern airplanes, they just go dark for you. They don't even ask.

The people on top, on the speaker went, can everyone shut their blinds so we can all have a good night's rest? She wouldn't do it. I've got video footage of her. She wouldn't do it. I've never been angry of her. Right? She wouldn't do it. I've never been angry yet. It's been seven weeks.

I haven't calmed down. So you're telling me she opened at mid-flight and there was a bright... She had it open the whole time. Okay. She's got anxiety and she wants to see if there's issues with the plane. And she was just on her phone the whole time. And I was sitting so close that I could see her phone.

Everything that's on her phone started like this. The most Karen-esque text you were. All of her messages started with, it was my understanding. Right? You know? That's a shocker. As per my last email. Yeah, as per my last email. It was my understanding that when we blah, blah, blah, that you were da-da-da-da-da, right? It was her understanding. Anyway, so anyway so so I went I took his annex or whatever I had a little nap and I woke up and the someone's just blaring in my face and I get the edge to us okay can you just ask her to because it was the only window on the whole plane the only window I said can you can

you go ask her to take it out and the lady goes I've asked her before but I agree with you it is time right and so she goes over there and she goes, hello, look, we've had another complaint. So this happened while I was sleeping. We goes, we've had another complaint. If you could please just shut your windows that everyone can get asleep. You're the only window that's left on in the cabin. And she goes, I'm doing work. She says it loudly enough.

So the people who would complain, right? And so the lady, she comes back over to my, she walks like the 10 meters to my chair and goes like this, goes, I have asked her again, she's a very unpleasant person. Anyway, I've got some video of her with a thing. It just sounds to me though. I've got a good picture of her as well. I'm gonna check out before I put it up, I'm gonna check out the legality because you know how everyone always shows people I'm playing I feel this person needs to be named in shame. Let's not be doing that We don't need an Australian white man coming after a Matildas person. Haven't you seen the news?

I can't get fired. I can't get fired from a podcast. I would not touch. This is why she wore the women's I'm not going after a player. I'm not going after it because of the sport. There's a thing in sport called etiquette. There's a thing in life called etiquette. Right? All I hear, Jim, is a young woman, which you've already called old, which I thought was ageist. I'll show you.

She's trying to spread light into the world. She's a fucking... And isn't that a great metaphor for the world? She's a terrible human being. Jim Jefferies, the misogynist, is literally trying to turn the lights out on a female soccer coach. Jim Jefferieseries the misogynist is literally trying to turn the lights out. Jim Jefferies. On a female soccer coach. Jim Jefferies the misogynist wasn't being misogynistic about this particular thing. She just wanted to let her light into the world. I've got to go back. I'll show you this fucking. Look, the only light and then, hold on. Yeah, we see it there. Look at that. Yeah. Yeah. So there you are, living in the darkness, a creature.

She's even put her blind halfway down so it doesn't appear in her eyes. So it's just shining on her phone. Yeah. Right? Look, she's better looking than you made it sound. I said she was like a woman who could possibly still have played sport.

She might be the captain. Here we go. Look, there's, here we go. You can't be filming the captain. Here we go. Look, here we go. You can't be filming like this. Here's footage. The rest of the plane, we're all on board. I think, to be honest with you, you can't post that because you just can't be filming people out in public. Why not? People do it to me all the time. So this happened to me on the plane. All the time this happens to me. Everywhere I go, whenever I would try to make a complaint, there's her text messages.

I got right in. You can't be doing this. I got right in on them. But also what work does she have to do really? There she is, there she is. Yeah, okay. So what's her text messages all about? I told you everything starts with,

it was my understanding. She's a fucking, I tell you what, if I could just have the power just point at her and just to give her gout in every one of her joints, I would. What a horrible fucking human being. That is, it is terrible. And I on the way over here,

I like to open the window occasionally, have a look to see if we're going anything. And you've got to get it straight back down. No, straight back down. It's a dark, and that's why I think maybe the automated cabin is the way to go. The ones now, the modern planes darken it themselves. They darken the whole thing and you can still see out, like you can sort of see it through sunglasses.

Yeah, but at this point I understand why she's got the window open because if you've been watching the news, it feels like the engine could fall off at any moment. An hour later, the sun had just gone down naturally. And guess what? She kept working on her phone. It didn't stop her. It turns out the phone's fucking backlit. Anyway, so I land in Australia, furious, already in a bad mood. Yes, Jack? What do you think about people with the reading light?

The reading light, the reading light, that's contained into your area. It's not a beam that can shoot across the carriage into something. I do think there's a time when everyone should just go to the dark, but you've got TV screens and stuff like that. But the window open... I love the reading light because God you feel... You feel like such an intellectual and you're like lit up, you know? Everyone's watching the TV and you're under the reading light like this. Oh, you're watching a movie. Techno feudalism.

Oh, yeah. I was reading techno feudalism by Yanis Varoufakis. Is that one of your mind-calf books that you have? This is a very, this is a fine great communist who I enjoy the work of. Alright here we go. We're just shining a light on me there. So I go off, I go to Australia for a bit, I go do the TV show in Australia. They worked me hard but it was alright, I was happy to have the work and then after that I went off to Argentina and while I was doing this we tried to podcast we really did ladies and gentlemen we did our very best to try and podcast but but what happened was the internet is appalling in Australia Australia needs to sort that out like hotel internet is the the the internet I had on the airplane

coming over to America was stronger than the internet in the hotel room. It was a bad time because we were embroiled in a scandal with the YMCA creators, the rich people. And the podcast ended and I had a lot of people messaging me like, wow they did it. They did it, they shut you down, you guys caved, you little bitches. What happened was Victor Willis and his wife Karen, who he's never written a song about, they told me to stop talking about it. And then they said on a podcast with Harvey Levin that I've already apologized. I never did anything.

I said, I wouldn't mention it anymore if they didn't mention it anymore, but here I am. Now using it as a walk-on song. Yeah, I use Mucho Man as a walk-o song. So I expect to be billed for that. I mean, this guy drives a Tesla and he walks onto the village people. How things have changed six months ago I was I was the left-wing nut village people listening to Tesla

driver. This guy's driving around in a Tesla listening to the village people and I'm reading Greek communism. It's been a weird shift. So, so Victor, Victor did a podcast with Harvey Levin, who's the lead guy from TMZ. And he said, uh, and then Harvey went through the lyrics and went, come on, what about this lyric? What about that lyric? What about this lyric? And then what did he say? Jackie said, ah, there was some innuendo. He goes, ah, yeah, some things were double on tons, like double things. There's meant different things. And so that's all we were ever saying, except for I truly believe the YMCA

is about bumming in the showers. But that's your interpretation. But that's my interpretation. Artistic interpretation. Artistic interpretation. Yeah, so that's buried. We didn't get sued. I have been to the showers at the YMCA recently

and that's all I saw. And they were playing the song. So I don't wanna, I can tell you what I saw. I wasn't as angry with them as I was with the woman who was in the airplane wearing the Matilda's outfit. I'm coming to get you. If I could find out, I could put the photo up. We're gonna uncover who this lady is.

I'll tell you what about the Matilda's jersey though. If you wanna be a real piece of shit, if you wear women's sports merch, you get a real halo around you. Particularly if you're a man, you can be such a pig and they're like, but he's supporting women's sports. He must be a good guy. That's my new costume. I reckon you should, because we all know that the people who are bloody

terrible sexual deviants in the comedy community are always the guys that are allies. If you want to commit a sexual assault do it in a Matilda's jersey they won't see you coming. Yeah those blokes are always just like hey yeah oh no I'm a feminist. Any guy who says he's a, hey, yeah, oh no, I'm a feminist. It's a really weird- Any guy who says he's a fucking feminist, fucking watch out for that cunt. Watch out for him.

This is a real dangerous one for hardcore lefties is a man wearing a Matilda's jersey is both being nationalistic, but also sexually progressive. So they don't really know how to handle you. Cause they're like, on the one hand, I hate you being too jingoistic about Australia But on the other hand you're supporting women and another big problem is when you see a man wearing a Matilda's Jersey You can't be sure that it's a man. Oh, yeah could be a lesbian could be so or just a manly looking heterosexual

You gotta listen you gotta keep the windows down. We want a dark tube. Yeah, okay in turbulence windows are allowed to come up that's why I had to see what I don't know you for some reason being able to see you're impending doom calms people down oh no I love a bit of turbulence we were opening up the blinds when you hear a noise that we were at the land in Nashville and they took back off again the other day and we landed in Memphis anyway so so you were living in Australia you did you had a wonderful run doing Perth a wonderful run doing Adelaide and you became a publican. Amos Gill bought a pub or rented a pub.

Not even a pub. It was an old bike store that I turned into a comedy club as a pop-up for two months. Yeah. Old bike store that he turned in and he had a bar and I ring him up and I said, how's things going? He was two days into being a publican, right? Not a Republican. He's been doing that for years. Right, two days into being a publican and he was straight into the complaining.

He was just like this, oh, the kids today, they just don't drink like they used to. It's bloody hard to make a business with these young fucking generation and how they don't touch the booze. Tell me what happened. No, because there is a stat that Gen Z is gonna drink 80% less than any other generation.

Yeah, fuck that generation. Now, our business of comedy really does rely, you realize that you're just a peddler of poison. Unless, if you don't drink booze, the tickets are going to be exponentially higher. And anytime there was a young comedian that I'd booked to put their show on, I'd do like $150 behind the bar and it would be bottles of water and popcorn. Right. And it was hard not to hate those comedians because I was like the venue is cheap and then the people would come by the bar and if you had an older audience like Steve Hughes, comedian we love, his audience was

doing Two Grand Bundy and Jack Daniels because they were getting drunk and they were ready to hear how it is. They needed to get a little bit moist in the throat with some alcohol so they could hear about... No, they were out to have a good night. Yes. See, because the generations are different. This young generation, they think that they're better than the Generation X because they

drink less, but the true reason they drink less is several reasons because they have dating apps they can just go on. But another big reason is that they all have cameras on their phones. So they have never experienced a life where you can get wasted and then the next day, just be okay with it. Yeah.

Right? Because now being wasted is a black mark on you, where it used to be like- So you're saying that if people do anti-social behavior, it sucks now because people are there to take a photo of it exactly like that It's trying to set a little trap for you And I still haven't released the photos if I was doing on a plane would be fucking out what I had you there A little bit. No, I'm a modern fella. I don't drink now either

I don't drink now either. I don't drink and I videotape Karen's. I'm fucking I'm a generation alpha or whatever it is. I'm not the Karen. I am not the Karen. The Karen is the person who refuses to let everyone else sleep and if I am the Karen then I'm proud to be a Karen. Because he was tired. He was tired and he needed to sleep. I didn't get a flat I didn't buy a flat bed will someone else put it for me Channel 7 didn't buy a flat bed for me so that I'd be irritated by Matilda I'll tell you that for sure. Hey let me tell you something bitch why don't you just put on if you're in first class they give you an eye mask but no he's got sensitive skin and it

rubs up against it so he needs everything. I've heard the eye mask theory I've heard the eye mask theory I don't like having an eye mask on why doesn't she fucking put it on? What do you mean? I want an oculus. She should have put her oculus on the futuristic eye mask. I'm telling you when everybody else in the plane has the window shut you just do it and also she's on a phone she can still see it mate don't do it. She had the blind halfway down so the sun wouldn't get into her eyes, so she just had it on her lap. She just wanted a bit of sun on her lap. Just quickly, what was she... She is as selfish a human being that you could make. But she was having a very difficult time researching what trans players she could sign to the Matildas.

That's the work that she was doing. She's like, that's how we win the World Cup, we need to transition more professional... It was my understanding that his dick has been locked off. It was my understanding that his hormones met the legal requirement according to WADA. I've thought this about the trans thing and I'll get in trouble for this, but my trans. Two dudes talking trans. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Let's go. Come on. What are we doing? The podcast is back, folks. OK, what I feel about the trans sports thing.

And I did a thing on the Jim Jeffries Show about the sports thing, and I don't have a problem with trans people if you want to do the thing. What I am confused about, okay, so if you transition from female to male, you can play all the sport you want. I don't give a shit. I don't even need testing. I don't need a panel. I don't need anything. You're good to go. And there is like, there's a trans boxer or UFC fighter or something who actually won fights who started off as a female I'm alright with that if you go female the male that's alright but then there is another argument they're being pumped full of testosterone or something is that a

performance-enhancing drug whatever now the other way the other way if you're a woman if you're a man who becomes a woman I'll refer to you as a woman if that's what you've chosen to be in your life, who am I to judge her? And life comes with a few, you've decided to do something therefore you give up some things in life. It's like if you decide to have a child or whatever, you give up part of your social life, if you decide to do a certain career, our career is chosen, we've chosen to give up our weekends, right? There's things you give up with because of the things I said.

I can never really be Prime Minister of Australia. Right. They'll never vote. There's enough footage. Oh, maybe, maybe. Times are changing. I could be president of America, but I just wasn't born here. So so there's certain things. But with the sport, like you wanted to cut your dick off. And I'm all for it. If you wanted to cut your dick off, that's fine.

But why do you really feel the need? You have to play sport now. Well, these are people that have found enjoyment in sport and they want to carry on with it. Yes. But here's the thing. We shouldn't be competing. Most, most women don't want to play sport.

Most of them don't. Wow. No, come on, dude. You might see some rugby players. I'm telling you, this is there. There's a shift in the podcast. I'm for women's sport. I'm for them sitting on a plane in light.

I'm for women's sport. I'm for women's sport. I'm just saying that that maybe 20 times further away to the left, 20 times more men want to play sport than women, right? 20 times more men want to play sport than women. Right. Of course. Probably 20 times, maybe more. I think I'm, right? 20 times more men want to play sport than women, right? Yeah, of course. Probably 20 times, maybe more. I think I'm being conservative that.

I'd be 20 to one, right? If I had a daughter, man, I'd be putting them in sport as well. It's great, it's exercise, it's good to be healthy. Not to have a stuffy. But with your genetics, it's a waste of time. My son's a good athlete, mate. Depends who I leave my dick in.

You got to put, the mother was a pure tall Dutch dog. I think she did a lot of the heavy lifting. All of it. My next son's got no chance. The next son I had with a short Indian woman and I don't know if you know a lot about India but they're good at cricket. Yeah and he can't do that here. His son is so good at sports he threw a ball at your head. That's a good transition. That's another transition. We still got to get back to that. No, but let me tell you something about the trends in sports. You got to think if you did do it for a competitive advantage, we are like, I'm not going to make it as a man.

And so I'm going to move and become a professional athlete as a woman. Imagine going through all of that and not making it. I just think that's got to be a real toughie. If you transition and then you want to keep playing sports and it's very very important to you I don't feel like you've truly transitioned enough. There's a controversy. You're like give get take more oxygen and go shopping. Because a real woman doesn't want to play rugby. Well I know there are some of them. Ah geez what else you've been up to? The real trans issue is this one. What? Because I'm bored. Well, I know there are some of them. Ah, geez. What else you been up to?

The real trans issue is this one. What? Because I'm bored of trans. I think, I'll tell you this. The counterculture has become the culture. You know, the right now is the dominant force and I'm, you know, I'm over it all to be honest. And so I'm thinking about what's next. You're going left, eh? What's next? And it's all about transhumanism. Transgender, we've had this war forever. The my kids of the future or Jack's.

Yeah, right. Whenever that is. Jack has as much chance as a trans woman. And I gave up on that midway through that. Is. And let me ask you a question on this. Have you been following much of the transhumanism? I don't follow it, man. No. Do you know what I even mean?

No, I don't know what you mean. The future is... I've always thought they were human. No, let's say that Charlie, because he's the right age. Yeah, okay. Let's say that in his school, some of the other wealthy parents, were like, we're going to put brain chips in our kids because it'll make them better at mathematics and other intelligence-based factors which will help them in the job market and boost their IQ. And so we're all gonna put these brain chips in

the head of our kids and that'll make them the new sort of like essentially Android human beings with supercomputers for brains. Would you do it for Charlie and make him a transhumanist child or would you go no no no he's fine as he is? Because that's the real trans argument moving forward is are you going to be completely biological or you're gonna be a synthetic android? I believe that he would have that's a decision that he would have to make when he comes of age as a child I would not be playing around with his brain with a chip. Yeah and if he was older and he said I want to get this implant thing and that's his life. But he comes up to you and he's like I suck at

maths and I'm a laughing stock and all the other kids are so good and they've got like... But they're taking steroids, they're equivalent of taking steroids in sports. Yeah but they're getting all the jobs and they're getting all the social cachet and they're working at Goldman at the age of 13. They're managing hedge funds. Do you honestly think there won't be AI money managers that would just be looking at the markets and figuring out when to buy and sell like that? It's going to become ridiculous. Which brings us to tariffs, right?

You love it. You love, yeah, because we're talking about money, talking about money, right? You love Trump. You love Trump. I don't know if I say I love Trump. You would have voted for Trump, correct? Potentially. Yes, potentially. OK. OK. Let me be more clear. Over Harris. No, let me let me be more clear.

You don't think that Harris should be allowed to play sport? You said that she should be able to play sport. I said she... Let me let me tell you more the point with Trump. Yeah. I believe the entire neoliberal world that we live in is a joke. And the sooner a lot of it begins to collapse, the better. Now, Donald Trump is more fun on the way down. But the way that things were, this is why I've always been angry,

the way that things have been doesn't work for most people. We've reached the end of this post whatever Cold War era that we're in. There's rampant inequality in the world. People are sick, they're homeless, we've got automation coming in, jobs basically, jobs were moved over to China, they got rich and then they pumped the US dollars back into the American economy through Wall Street and buying up property and it doesn't serve like 90% of people. It's been bad for a long time, and people go, Trump is bad. No, no, no, Trump is what happens

when a system comes to the end. We can't just keep it that something had to happen. And Bernie Sanders reared his head up and he got fucked over by the Democratic Party. I agree with that. I agree that Bernie Sanders should have been the person who went forward rather than Hillary. There was two options for populism. It was Bernie and Trump, which, and it's not even about Donald Trump.

It's more like Steve Bannon, nationalism and... I just want to talk tariffs. Yeah, sure. We can talk about Trump all day. But this is all linked to tariffs as well. I know it's all linked to tariffs in China and all that. But I rang you up when I lost... I've got less money now, here we are in April, right? I have less money now than when I started the year and I've been working every fucking day, right?

And like, because the stock market is fake. The stock market's not fake. It's fake. It's like people are going, we're in a major panic. Just because you don't have any money in the stock market doesn't mean it's fake. Yes, I listen. People with money in it. He called me and he's like, I lost a million dollars and I'm like, I'm $10 down

because I had a wing stop sandwich. I didn't lose a million. When you're broke like me, you gotta revel in times like this because I don't know anybody shooting fentanyl under a bridge who gave a fuck about how the stock market was doing. But then you rang me up the next day and you went,

got all your money back? No, I didn't. I got half of it back. Yeah. Well, I've got money in gold, so I feel fine about that. That's good times for me because I. What are you an old bloke who watches fucking Fox News? Who? Hey, in recessions, gold always hold its price. Now you can. I always like gold seems to be working, but gold's a weird investment

because no investment that advertisers is good. If it if it if an investment goes buy us, we're a good investment. No, good investments don't need. The whole stock market has its own TV channels and apps dedicated to advertising it. Give us your money. No, it's to go into the stock market, but individual stocks is a different thing. The thing with the stock market is, and speaking from a more left-wing perspective, what always annoys me about Donald Trump is the people that hate Donald Trump now

about tariffs would have been the same lefties who in the, what, when the original world trade organization deals went through in the 90s, were like, hey, you know, you're sacrificing working jobs in America for slave labor. All right. And now all of a sudden, we're like, Nike's price is down. Nike abused children in factories and paid them $0.50 an hour or something. And all of a sudden, we go, hey, you've

got to bring those jobs back here. And the same left-wing people are like, but we like the abuse of poor people in foreign countries. So I can buy 11 pairs of shoes a year. You're not a left-wing person, right? Well I probably economically am, yes. I'm culturally conservative and I've always been very economically... See I'm economically right-wing and culturally conservative. Yes, that is our difference. I think that you should have a family and

stop jerking off to vicious amounts of pornography but also... Hey, that's a personal attack! Get the money out of the stock exchange. Most of its fake government money that they don't even have. We're in trillions of dollars of debt. All right. So do you like the tariffs? Look, I think that I think it's been handled in a sloppy way. It was like it was reciprocal. Then it's a flat as an as an Australian.

Like Australia shouldn't have been tariffed. Australia shouldn't have been tariffed. We buy more of the Americans than they buy off us. Yeah, and their beef is shit. We have a surplus, not even the beef. The beef is the final thing. But we have a surplus with them, right? They buy, we buy way more of their shit.

And then everyone brought up the beef example. Oh Australia, we bought, they buy $26 billion worth of Australian beef and we buy zero American beef well, but we buy other shit from America Not only that we're forced to buy these nuclear submarines that are probably going to be So we're one of I think three countries that have nuclear submarines, right? Yeah So so we're one of three countries that nuclear submarines. We have them. Why do we have them because we're near China We're a great ally of America. We haven't missed the war with America ever. We are the only

nation to not and New Zealand, the only nation to not miss a war with America in the last 200 years. And how fucking dare they try to fucking tariff the Australians and shove the Australian dollar into the fucking ground because America first. And let's talk about bullshit. I'll tell you who's put America first. Australia has every fucking time. Well, we have every fucking time. This is the thing with we're leaving.

We are a vassal state of the United States. What does vassal mean? What's he saying now? What's vassal? Vassal state means we have no real sovereignty as Australians. We have to do the bidding of what the United States says. We go to all the conflict. We don't have to do the bidding of what the United States says we go to all the conflict we don't have to do the bidding when it comes to tariffs fucking have a go because you're still gonna want our beef you still gonna want our gold you still gonna want our uranium you still gonna want our oil

yeah they had to but why pick a fight with a friend it's like being at school and picking on the guy that always had your fucking back and pushing him because I like this is... Yeah, I'm not saying I like this, but the point is with the initial tariff, they were going, these tariffed an island of penguins and three people live there, remember? Because he did the tariffs everywhere. Yeah. Was the problem with that is, and I know this through my girlfriend's family. She owns three penguins. She's a penguin importer, exporter, and it's really through my girlfriend's family. She owns three penguins.

She's a penguin importer exporter and it's really hurt the waterline. It's a very black and white job. No but the problem with that is is that what China does and I know this for a lot of manufacturing businesses okay China gets tariffed and then what they do is they send the equipment to a country that doesn't have a tariff and say it was assembled there and then that's how they dodge the tariffs so you need a tariff and say it was assembled there. And then that's how they dodge the tariffs. So you need a tariff everywhere so that that way China can't get around it by using various little states and suppose the little islands that they do it.

So that's a tariff. That's the way that they bust tariffs. OK, so this thing is exempt from tariffs. It is now because the CEO, Tim Cook, went and had a little visit with Donald. Of course, of course. So this is this is the thing we always joke about. The iPhones, the iPads, we always joke about Asian kids making our phones on a bloody chain, getting a bowl of rice every fucking day.

This was the quintessential thing that should have been, that should be being made in America, that's being made overseas where there is child labor and we all wanted a reasonable price. Cause this thing's like what? 1300 bucks these days, 1400 bucks. Less than if it's a lower model. Right.

But you know what I mean? It's over a thousand bucks, right? So let's say it's a thousand bucks. So you want to pay 25% on top of this. You want to buy $1,250 and then he just took that away, which is good for us the consumer, but that doesn't fix this whole problem. But I believe Apple, see he extracted things from that. I believe Apple have and I might be wrong here, but I know Nvidia opened up a chip factory somewhere in the Midwest and Apple has committed to opening up.

Okay, which leads me to ask the next question. Who do you trust more as an employee, a Midwest American or a 12 year old Asian? Well, no, I've been preaching this a long time and I think it's far more ethical that we get American kids in sweatshops. Let's bring those jobs home. I don't want American kids in sweatshops. I think Hank needs to be taught the value

of a hard day's work, your son. My son goes to private school. He'd be middle management in one of those sweatshops. I want you to walk into his bedroom over here and go, Hank, 30 more devices before you get to play with yours. Dad, I want an iPad. Make one then. Well, this is the whole thing.

Do they still teach, do they still teach wood shop and auto mechanic stuff? And what they still teach metalwork? auto mechanic stuff and what they still take metal work? I've got a brother who's my school. My school, I still did wood shop and I told her stuff. You got to stop doing it. You like what's your class building phones? Yeah, coding, coding and well, they do coding, but actually like soldering,

we can work soldering and putting chips in things. Look, here's a broader point. Like just stop for a second. I did. I'm gonna lay down and look up. All right. Together my thoughts. It's funny when you lay down now,

you're still the same height. We just need to stop purchasing. What I'm confused about is I've been indoctrinated my entire life in two philosophies. One, consumerism. Buy, buy, buy, buy. The whole world advertising. Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy.

And then on my more left wing side was, hey, too much waste pollution. We've got plastics in the ocean. And now I'm watching my left wing friends give up those points to go like, but you're stopping how much stuff we can buy. Hey, no, that's not what's happening. It is not what's happening. People haven't stopped giving a fuck about the environment because of the tariffs. But I need to buy more buying stuff.

This when you feel it in America more than anywhere. All the conversations are about the stock exchange. How much things are going to cost other than necessities of food and basic clothing, we're done. What about eggs? And maybe this is the commie inside me. Eggs are very expensive. Eggs are expensive. Eggs are expensive. Your orange man made the eggs very expensive.

I'd love you to tell me how this works. I just figure that's what happened. Yeah? Tell me how it didn't work. I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty of egg prices. I'm saying, do you think we purchased too much? It was definitely Trump with the eggs. Well, I'd say it's the cost of energy

to get the eggs from farms to table. It seems to be costing a lot of money because we're not burning enough goddamn coal. Oh, you're saying it's because we don't have enough coal. When he brings in the coal miners and they fucking stand there, what is with coal miners and chinbeads? No mustache.

They've just got the chinbead, all of them. Like, is that just so that they can see another coal miner from across the room and go coal miner, coal miner? And they're all in there. They all met up with Trump and they're all wearing their hard hats. Are they all just bald blokes with chinbeads? I'm sorry that they're all fans of Abe Lincoln and they go for that style of. No, they haven't gotten the beard around the shoulder.

They've just gone that they just go the tuft. The tuft, maybe the sole patch that goes all the way down. I was just, you know, look, and that's the coal miner look. But like, let's just stop. Is it so that people don't think they're actual miners? Do you think we buy too much? I'm a miner. They go grow a bit of facial hair so that people won't think you're actual miners. Do you think we buy too much? I'm a miner. They grow a bit of facial hair so that people won't think you're a child.

Let me give you a stat. Yeah, here we go. Last year in the United States, we had more people going to Europe for vacation and more people visiting food banks. How do we like are things good? Wait, wait. Did Donald Trump break the economy or is it really, really bad? Wait a minute. What's wrong with people going to Europe?

I don't understand what's wrong with it. We have more European vacations than ever. Okay. Record European vacation. Okay. And record visits to the food bank. So it seems like there are people who are doing extremely well. Yeah.

And people who can't feed their family. You can't go because more people. Okay. That's a good thing about America, because for the longest time, America was this country where not enough people had their passports and they only holidayed within their own country. By the way I just flew to Norfolk and back and the price of the ticket was more expensive than me going to fucking London or going to France right? Traveling around America is exorbitantly expensive to get to any

little tiny place right? You've done it right where where where European travel now with the planes and the fuel and stuff are cheaper than ever do long haul trips listen you're gonna get stabbed in the street by a boat person in Europe stay at home support America this is my pledge I like them going to Europe it makes them more worldly if people become more worldly they understand the world. If people actually meet people from other countries they don't fear these people in the same way. You don't need to go to Florence and look at the statue of David. We've seen it before, he's got a little cock. You don't need to go to the gallery at the Academy. What are you talking about?

Detroit. His cock's like this big. It's a massive statue. Maybe in proportion to the rest of his body. But he has, I would like to have that cock. Well, baby, I got a dick like the statue of David. Not proportionality. I mean, literally. Now, listen, this summer is going to be, people got to tighten the belt. You know, think about this. We shut down the economy for how long with COVID and then the stock market bounced back. Because it was fake money. We just print money that we don't have and then we funnel it back. This is such a conversation of a bloke who doesn't have any money in the stock

market. People lost their fucking their retirement, mate. They lost their retirement. They haven't lost their retirement. They were saving. The S&P 500 is down to levels of like 2021. Yeah, that's four years loss. Four years loss every seven years in the stock market. If the stock market is doing what it's doing, it's meant to double your money

every seven years. But that's the problem with the Western world doubling from what? OK, why? In the last production in the last 15 years, it has not doubled in the last 15 years. Right. It slowed down a massive amount. Right. We've had COVID had two lots of trumps. Now we've got the fucking tariffs. But this idea of, oh, it's fake money, it's fake money. That is such a hippie bit of fucking bullshit.

When you've got old people who are fucking, they're relying on that money to live. It's not fake to them. Well, that's not a great, it's not an ideal system, is it? What would you rather them do? Put it in the banks that give you zero interest by property they can't afford. Many people just have one hundred thousand dollars in the stock market.

Right. That's the whole thing. Then you take it down and all of a sudden they wake up next morning and said seventy thousand. And then they're like, oh, that's why I also don't worry about it, Gareth. It's fucking fake money. Well, that's why I don't endorse, you know, destroying an American business like Tesla just because you don't like the guy who owns it. That's tied up with a lot of people's 401k.

I'm with ya, right? I'm with ya, I'm with ya. Because I'm financially a fucking Republican, right? I'm with ya. Don't fuck around with Tesla. I own a Tesla, people get into me for having a Tesla, the lease hasn't run out, right? I won't get another one. I'm not a big fan of Elon at the moment.

But I've enjoyed the car, it's actually my third Tesla I've been a repeat buyer of the Tesla I don't agree with people going in and putting swastikas on the side of cars I don't believe in people throwing rocks through Tesla dealerships in the same way I don't agree with people storming the fucking capital I think the extreme people on the left are extreme fuckwits and the extreme people on the right are extreme fuckwits and most of us are in the middle just trying to fucking get through life. Yes, but we live in an unfortunately radicalized centrist fiction. My god, you've been hanging out with Steve Hughes far too much. That sentence could have fallen out of Steve Hughes's mouth.

Someone Google Steve Hughes, even the rhythm that you just went, a friction of a establishment, the establishment of the friction of the times that we have. I've had enough of all political parties and people saying, Oh God, there's Donald Trump's done this to the economy or Joe Biden's done this to the economy. The entire economy, since we got off the gold standard in what 1970 with Richard Nixon or 71, it's just fake money that benefits nobody. And everyone goes, the economy is good. You know what the economy is?

When I drive home and I turn left to the CVS, employee vista, there used to be three homeless people and now there's 15. That's the economy to me. It's funny because the Australian dollar dropped below 60 cents, It's back up now. It dropped below 60 cents for the first time in about a decade or something. And you know, even back before, back during the Bush administration was one to one.

So it's really had a big tumble. A lot of people's money. And my father, I said, oh, how are you going? He goes, oh, the bloody government's fucked over here. They fucked the Australian dollar. And then my father loves Trump, right? And he can't see that having to do with the tariffs in America. He thinks everything that Trump does is great.

He thinks it's his local government. He thinks the local Australian government is why the Australian dollar is so bad. And it just doesn't get me started on the Australian fucking government. Yeah, but it also it also it's the same price as the New Zealand dollar. And it's the same price as the Canadian dollar right how is it that all three of these governments have fucked up at the same time could it be what Trump did with the tariffs is really what actually happened to the Australian dollar but my father doesn't see that. But the Australian dollar has been bad for a very long time.

So is those other monies. It all it all decides on what wars are going on what fucking what America's up to what Europe is up to and then it all trickles down to Australia the idea that the Australian politician has gone oh fucking we're shelling less we're selling less sheepskin and we're getting rid of coal miners and Now all of a sudden the dollars worth less because of that it isn't the case But that's what Australians there a lot of Australians, especially my fathers, they believe it's all got to do with that fucking Albanese and how he fucked the country. Well, we're in a grance. It's not about which leader's in really. That's such a fictional

change. Really, you know what a leader is? A leader's like a dealer at the casino. You might seem like that's the person dealing you cards, but it's actually the system Alright Steve It's the system and you go. Oh, we got a new dealer. I'm on a hot run It's got nothing to do with who the dealer is the cards are stacked against you man Yanis Varifukas out now and that's why is that why no one bought any drinks at your pub The fucking system and the kids. I just genuinely believe and I say this to myself there is we've run consumerism we've given it a great run

and it hasn't made people happy and we buy useless shit and you think back to like my grandparents have the same possessions they had for like 40 years and they worked. I agree with this my father has the same microwave that he's had for 30 years. Yeah, it's everything is What's that word they call it planned pregnancy? Obsolescence. Yeah. Yeah, everything is breaks and you get another one breaks get another one breaks get another one That's what I'm saying. And this is also also I look that's what the economy is If you've seen me change fashion in the last 20 years, it's been very subtle. Is the, I, I keep black t-shirts for decades. Uh, if it were, if it works, I wear it, you know what I mean?

I don't do fast fashion. These things that is disposable at the core of it, right? Financially, I consider myself a plugin, but I am an environmentalist. I do believe in if I have solar panels in my house, I drive an electric car. I fucking recycle. I do what I can. I do my bit. I don't go out of my way.

I'm not fucking cleaning off penguins when there's an oil spill, but I believe in the I believe in Global warming and all the stuff that you may not believe in right look I think the only way to fix everything is people need to buy less You know, it's interesting isn't it when you go everyone goes overseas. We'll have too much money Everyone goes over everyone goes overseas. overseas and goes to like Thailand. What covers your fridge? Magnets. Yeah, how many you got? How many magnets do I have? Oh, I've got about 50 magnets. You're fucking the landfill that you don't.

Every time he leaves the town, he buys another magnet. I have bits of cardboard that are covered in plastic containers. I understand the frivolous of this. What I'm saying is you go to Thailand, you go to Vietnam, you go to places where people have nothing and does it, how much does it ultimately affect their happiness? Not that much. We have gotten used to living with crap that we get used to immediately and it breaks and we buy more and we buy more and people's rates of depression. You're not doing that in Iguazu, I'll tell you that much. They're not even taking antidepressants in Iguazu. No, okay, so they're not taking what, what, what did you say? I'm just saying like what's the use of antidepressants in... Well they stop

you being depressed. In Da Nang. No, what I'm saying, what are they doing in Da Nang or in... Stop thinking about the war. They're not taking... We are medicated. We're obese. I love the medications. We're sore. I'm all for... We're in a rat race. Okay, here's what we're talking.

So I have arthritis in my hand. My hand cramps up like this in the morning. I've got to stretch my fingers out. And I have a bit in this shoulder here. So if I roll over in the middle of the night and say, while I was in Argentina and Australia, both conditions went away. I wasn't eating that much differently. There's something in the middle of the night and say, while I was in Argentina and Australia, both conditions went away. I wasn't eating that much differently.

There's something in the food in America, because I came back and I've been back now for about a week and it's back. It's back with a vengeance. My hips, my knees, my hands, my gout, everything in this country is sore. I'm tired. I shit weird. I got fucking fishes back of my anus Yeah, you know, it's not there's something in the food and I can't put my finger on it I was just telling that seed oil. I was just telling it that guy at Taco Bell the other day

I said man things aren't going good I did eat Taco Bell yesterday and I'm like this fuck this country See what happens just go back through the Taco Bell window and go hey man. I just I was here yesterday now I'm like this, fuck this country. See what happens, just go back through the Taco Bell window and go, hey man, I was here yesterday, now my joints hurt. I don't know, what do I get? They're like, we'll give you a free chalupa. It's also now, I don't know if I have any more corn syrup might be my thing, I don't know, but I'm trying to like,

I still gonna drink the occasional soda, but I'm only doing it like Mexican Coke, that's my health kick. Yeah, you can eat bad in Australia and you don't get know, you don't feel it but you certainly as I said to you before you don't go Oh, it hurts when I write you get fat, but you don't feel your joints hurting I don't know what the difference is, but something's going on. Well that goes back to my other point. Okay, which is Okay, you don't like RFK Okay, you think think... I agree with 50% of RFK. I'm not even here

to talk about it, I don't give a fuck about it. Does it work? Is this is the current system working? No. I think everybody in the middle, everyone in the middle agrees take the unnecessary chemicals out of food. We don't need red color dyes, we don't need red color dyes, we don't need blue color dyes, we don't need any color dyes. I don't give a fuck if all the food is a brown color, if it tastes the same. We don't need any coloring. Yeah but you know why we need the coloring? Why we need the food? Red velvet cake. Because it helps the stock price my friend, because it's cheaper and it all goes back to the inevitable desire. No, it's because you can't make red velvet cake without color dye.

If you don't, try making red fucking velvet cake with a few beats. You can't do it. You can't do it. It doesn't get you. OK, so I'm with you on that. Yeah, but people like it, though. You know, it's chocolate cake. Yeah. No one ever knows that you can't do it's chocolate cake. This is anyway. So so so I believe taking the chemicals out, but I wouldn't be born if not for actually I would cause my mum did have polio bad example, but.

You know, polio vaccines. I like them. I like the COVID vaccine, which isn't a popular one. I'm a big fan of the COVID vaccine. I like vaccines. We're about to find out. We're about to find out why there are autistic people in this country. Why is a guy that speaks like that gets to tell me about being healthy?

Well, he has an unfortunate condition of spasmodic, whatever it's called. I'm not very sympathetic to it. He's out there wearing jeans. You can say what you want about Trump, right? And I know you say a lot of awful things are fair because you're really a secret liberal, right? But you know, I know you've got a persona. I'm not a liberal.

You got a persona. I wouldn't be a liberal either. I'm a borderline communist. Okay. I read one book I've changed. Okay. Okay. I will say this about Donald Trump and this is why he's been around in the

media for so long. He's an entertaining man. He's a charming man. Like Bill Ma just got, is into him now. Bill Ma went and had dinner with him and he's all trumped up at the moment. You know what I mean? Like he's a charming fella. I don't, you know, RFK it's like, I don't know.

It's unfortunate. The speech thing he's got or whatever. What happened to him there? What happened to him? There was some worm in his head or something. Well, that didn't hurt his throat. Oh, what happened there? He's a condition called spasmodic...

Some hooker-fought back? I don't know what it is. Back off! It's some stress thing on your vocal cords. But he seems like an otherwise healthy guy. He just doesn't feel healthy to be telling me, don't eat chemicals in food because they will make you feel... it's like he's got a turd that's just

poking out at all times. A lot of your fans, they're the ones that really despise me from some podcast episode where I said something about RFK. They still go back to that all the time. You lost me when you said you liked RFK. It's like well well, you can finally put a face to who's behind the Department of Health. I agree with half of what RFK says I agree with, and the other half I think is madness. I think him, he's not a doctor.

I don't wanna hear about what your opinions on autism is. All this like, it's an epidemic. Of course there's a lot of people with autism, but also we weren't fucking diagnosing it fucking 30 years ago. Well, I can attest to that because I went to the Museum of American Innovation Of course there's a lot of people with autism, but also we weren't fucking diagnosing it fucking 30 years ago. Well I can attest to that because I went to the Museum of American Innovation in Detroit and there was about 50 men by the age of 75 patting trains and I thought they probably

didn't get a diagnosis back in the day. All those guys that are into trains, none. I collect sports cards, it's plentiful with these people. You go to a show, you mean, but that's a 1986 floor. You know what I mean? Like, I get it. Autism, fun one, isn't it? Because you can have a little bit or you can have a lot. I would have thought...

Like candy. Let's get a division of people with autism finding out what gave them autism. If anyone's more suited to focus on one topic and come up with an answer, that's what I thought it would be. Oh yeah, try to focus all their attention. That's a nice circle. Like everyone, let's get on the autism train and watch them all go train. No, listen, the food is bad and... What are you talking about now? I'm saying the status quo of the system before it was bad it hurts people and it hurts people because it benefits the big companies which is like a few major corps that own all of these shit food. Listen here's one that Jack would know Dave's hot chicken starts great.

Dave's hot chicken you fucked this Dave you fucked this. I championed you I told people who came to the country you want good hot chicken, go to Dave's. It's as good as Nashville. You fucking made your product shit. You stopped putting effort in. It doesn't even feel like it's breaded or crumbed anymore. It's got like a crunchy fucking like batter around the fucking chicken and then no no Dave's hot chicken no no no I'm not having that. See that passion you feel about Dave's hot chicken. No, no, no, I'm not having that. See that passion you feel about Dave's hot chicken. I think that's how I feel about getting one bad injection.

I don't like I don't like when companies start out good and then they just start to phone it in because they go, oh, we'll expand. And you can save a buck. You can save it back there. It's the fucking McDonald's making their milkshakes out of powder. You know, I mean, eventually they went back to the actual stuff because it's like people don't want it. Well, hold on McDonald's making their milkshakes out of powder. You know what I mean? Eventually they went back to the actual stuff because it's like people don't want it. Well, hold on.

Well, they don't do that anymore. They have a machine that just goes gloom like that. When I worked at McDonald's back in the 90s, we just had like a, it wasn't a powdered stuff. We had like in the freezers, in the fridge, we had just it looked like a bag of cream and we poured it in the back and it sort of like a slurpy machine, froze it up for like a thing

and then you popped it out of the machine. But it was like a bag of stuff, it wasn't powder. And now, like I tell you the best milkshakes are it, you're fucking, you get a cookie and cream from Chick-Fil-A, they'll hand spun it for you, or Shake Shack, they do a good effort as well. Now let's move on because I don't know why my joints hurt I had one of them at the airport the other day. I had a cookie and cream milkshake I was stuck in the airport I was a bit high and I was like I'm gonna have a

cookie and cream milkshake. So yes tariffs who knows I don't have any economic theory and understandings. This is what I'm saying in my stand-up at the moment I hope that in four years time we can Who knows? I don't have any economic theory understandings. This is what I'm saying in my standup at the moment. I hope that in four years time, we can all look back on this and I can be say, I was wrong. Donald Trump is a genius and I'm a fucking idiot. But in reality, I think that Donald Trump is a fucking idiot and I'm a fucking idiot. Finally something we can get on the same page. Yeah. I don't think at any time I've become any more intelligent during the whole process

and I haven't read up more. So don't take any information from me. Take it from my communist friend. Yeah. Let's rise up to take the lamb back. Now I want to talk about a couple of other things that are everywhere this week which is the dire wolf. Do you know what the dire wolf is? You've told me about this. It's a wolf that's been brought back to life but that's all I know. Okay I'm gonna play you some audio. Here we go. So Jack is this gonna be okay? Howl of a dire wolf hasn't been heard on planet earth for more than 10,000 years. 10,000 years!

That's because the species is extinct. Or was. Colossal Biosciences is a Dallas based company that's using genetic engineering to de-extinct long gone species. We gotta take the chemicals out of the fowl. And this is the first time Colossal's dire wolf pups who are now six months old. So basically Jurassic Park is real. Okay, this is my problem here with this, right?

These wolves just look like dogs that I've seen before. Bring me back a fucking wooly mammoth. Uh, any dinosaur. You gotta think the dodo is stiff. The dodo? Uh, the dodo is real stiff. The Tasmanian tiger. The Tasmanian tiger, they have them in alcohol like stillborn Tasmanian tigers. They have all the DNA in the world for one of them. By the way I played one in the movie. But the

Tasmanian tiger, that one's good to go. But this, I've seen that these look like though, it looks like Dogecoin. These cunts. It is just a bit's a big and they used existing wolf And then they spliced in DNA they found from an inner ear in a skull That was preserved and the tooth Okay, and then they spliced that DNA into make what is the dire wolf? I'm all for it, but give us as I said a woolly mammoth We've got we father like they've got woolly mamm stuff. Give us like one of those great big fucking sharks. I'll tell you what pisses me off.

What? I found out that I can't get my girlfriend pregnant and they're bringing back fucking die walls. Why? Why? We'll just, you know, use the front hole. That'll be the big change. All the people I know that have fertility issues, it's a real rub in the face to be

like people are making animals here that have been extinct for 10,000 years and I can't even produce a fucking child with regular sperm from today. Because you're a comedian, you're used to coming in the back door of the club. Right, I'm going to take... Not for me, I never had anal. Can you really not have kids? I did a test when I was back in Australia and I decided to get everything done at once. Which was sperm, shit, blood and urine.

Just gave him his underwear. The classic bit. And they told me I have uric acid levels from bad food here in America. Yeah, that'll happen. But they also said my sperm is too viscous. The semen is too viscous. My sperm are alive but trapped in gunk. So I got such sticky and thick jizz. Yeah, well, no, I got a lumpy ass jizz me, but I say your sperm works, but it's

it's just like, what is it? It can't get out. It's hiding away. Yeah. In the fluid. It just can't break out of it. It must be hard for you. It has to listen to you all day. It's probably just put some earmuffs on. Doesn't know when it's meant to leave the fucking, doesn't know when it's meant to leave the stroke.

Are you saying much like me, my sperm is trapped in an echo chamber? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your sperm's just talking to other sperm like we can produce billions of babies. Billions, but I don't know, not with this food. Is it even worth going out? We're just causing more consumption that's useless. I'm not even leaving the semen. Yeah, someone's just swimming around a testicle like this going,

how does a testicle have gout? Yeah, so at this point, you've got more chance of bringing a fucking dire wolf back from 10,000 years of extinction. Not just the dire wolf. When they first cloned, what did they first clone? A sheep. A sheep. Can we go with some more dynamic animals, please? Well, I would imagine they don't.

Sheeps look the same, right? So they cloned an animal. They all look the bloody same, right? Do you think they did that to minimise people going, that one, that the head's a bit different? Well, now they have like, there's there's a guy I saw in 60 Minutes who has he does polo, right? And all the horses on his team are the same horse.

He had his favourite horse. right. And all the horses on his team are the same horse. He had his favorite horse. He cloned all the horses. So now the entire team is the same horse and he's like a rich, like Argentinian bloke with like, Oh, no, no, he's not a TV South American guy. He's just like, Hey, I could do the, my favorite horse. So bubba bubba bubba. Like that. He, this guy would be smashing horses.

Pussy as well. And so you, are you for it or against it? I think it's a bit weird when people like I think Barbara Streisand cloned one of her dogs because another dog was a favorite dog. So she cloned a dog. I don't think people should be gods. Like 20. Yeah, but then. Yeah, that's the weird thing.

Humans, can we clone humans? What would it mean to a person who lost a child to be able to get the same child back? Now, it'll never be the same child because it won't have the same lived-in effects. It won't have the same memories. But I can see why people would want it. I can see the pain. This is rescue dog culture to the next level. We're rescuing animals from the Ice Age. He's a

rescue. We found him in the Labrador Tar Pit. We found him in a Tar Pit and we brought him back with science. Are they all gonna be from the same dog? The same tooth? I guess so. That's like... So it's just gonna be inbred wolves. Well they had to splice the DNA. What's their meat like? What do they taste like? Well I've been long about this. You know how they've got lab-made meat now? Well once they nail this, if it's not bad for you, if they can make it clean and we all become vegan, because they reckon that if we all become vegans the environment improves, whatever reason. There's something to do with cow shit and stuff like that. I don't know right? There's a theory that the world improves

if we all become vegan right? I don't know enough about it. My wife could come and tell you about it very quickly But if they could make lab mate made me to a very Ken to a very high standard that isn't filled with shit Isn't filled with shit. No, so it's let's say it's yeah, it's cloned. You're essentially cloning The cells that make us a fillet. My issue with it is, is they're doing it right now with steak. I think if I wanted to get good investment into lab-made meat, I'd do an extinction or endangered species line. So you'd get like lab-made whale. Well that's where you go to Bill's Billtong. Do you need whale? We have it for you. Crane in one of our labs with a Japanese guy.

This is Shinto. Hello Shinto, how are you? What have you made for us? Don't do the voice, please don't do the voice. Nooo! I would never do that. No, no, no, you'll get in trouble for that. I have to clean my throat. Alright, I knew what you were revving up for. I was getting ready to read the script. I knew what you were revving up for. What's the name of these dogs again? Because we could put them in the next Piltong.

Romulus and Remus. Romulus and Remus. There was Romulus, there was Remus, there's no more Remus. It's like, Harrow, Remus. You really want to do this right now? Oh sure. We brought back from the depths of the Ice Age for you two wonderful dogs Romulus and Remus. Hello Romulus, hello Remus they have a lovely gamey taste and their fur could be used for a hat. They've been dead for 10,000 years and now they've

been killed after 10 minutes back on the planet Unfortunate you were born in a lab in South Africa and we love to eat meat My wife is a vegan, but she likes the clothing. So she's wearing a jacket I've got other things I want to talk about. All right, so Romulus and Remus. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway Speaking of how long were you going for Jake? We're a little over an hour. Yeah we've got lots to cut out. No we've got one bit to cut out, this is all good. I don't know what I'm talking about though you know. Women in space. No no so this is I'll give you an intro. Okay next one I want to discuss so you and I were in the

bachelorette capital of the world. Nashville. Nashville, Tennessee where it's just a lot of drunk women and it did sound somewhat being on the streets of Nashville on Broadway like women in space. Have a listen to this bachelorette party that went wild, upper, in the sky. It is the highest high and it is surrender to the unknown. Oh, wait, hold on. Let me do that again. Wait a minute. Here's my cut in that, Jack. Here's a cut.

Listen to these women in space. Got it. One, two, three. Taking up space. Now that sounds like the fucking pedal bar in Nashville. There was a porn, back in the day when porn had good quality, right? When we had nice footage of that, Sylvia Saint, it was one of my favorites in the early 2000s.

Sylvia Saint did a, um, she did a space, uh, porno. You know how you can do the plane and the plane drops and then you get like 15 seconds of weightlessness as the plane drops And that's how people sort of do it She got the first cum shot in space, right? Sylvia's saying you can probably Google it right and I remember thinking because then all the sperm just started floating away, and you know, that's what we wanted, right? But if you only get like 20 seconds as it drops like that guy must

have been just masturbating furiously right I didn't do it we're gonna have to take another pass sorry everyone sorry it's very expensive in here, the stunt cock. I just thought about my auntie, I don't know why she came into my head. We're gonna have to start again. Oh, I'll get it, I'll get it. Well, isn't that just the way it goes, folks? I'm trying to talk about women's first

all female flight in space. I just saw a whole lot of female weightlessness women, because she's weightless when the sperm hits her, Sylvia's sane as well. And that brought back a memory. You will notice all the windows open so they're at it again. What how they open the windows? No they're just they're just in a reinforced thick glass. Right but do they just have the window open? They can't they'll be sucked out. No no no, no, it's not open.

I'm saying there's no blind. Oh, there's no blinds. Right, right, right. I have to tell you, look at the moon. That's amazing. Wow, look at the blue line. Oh my gosh. Oh my god.

So this is Jeff Bezos' company who was sent into space. Can this also prove to people that the world's round? Is this enough information, or do they think that these women are in on this as well? For the flat earth? Yes, the earth is round and women are annoying at all altitude. And Gayle King, I don't want to be crass but while she was in space who got to lick Oprah's pussy? Oh, my son's just arrived. He had some ideas. Cause Oprah's just made weight watchers go bankrupt. She sold up all her stock.

She should be done for insider trading, I reckon. Well, I mean, Ozempic killed weight watchers, didn't it? Yeah, but she sold up her stock and then she quit becoming the spokesperson. Once Oprah quit being the spokesperson, then that's the end of it. Another American business goes down because of Big Pharma. Big boy Cha Cha!

Hello. Big floor or lava? The floor's lava. Not yet, but in a few years. Yeah. If anyone says his way. ExxonMobil would like to make that a reality. So who's Lauren Sanchez?

Lauren Sanchez is the girlfriend. Okay. So there's Katy Perry. Yeah. Such a weird mix. Lauren Sanchez, Gayle King, and then they had like an engineer, Kerryann Flynn, who's a filmmaker. Rocket science.

I want to take that back. Gayle was once nice about me on a news story when the Brad Pitt thing happened. So why am I picking on Gale for? Anyone can lick Oprah's pussy. It doesn't have to be her. Civil rights activist Amanda Nguyen, Aisha Bow, rocket scientist, Keri-Ann Flynn and Ms. Sanchez. Would you do it?

Not with that group. Oh, I would. I'd go up in seconds. I would. If you told me I have to do it now, I'd put the suit on. I'd walk out there and I'd go do it? Not with that group. Oh, I would. I'd go up in seconds. If you told me I have to do it now, I'd put the suit on, I'd walk out there and I'd go do it. I have no, I have no, I would do it. Well you can. Let's see, because this is an advertisement. I'm not paying for it.

You wouldn't pay for it? How much does it have to be? Not with the tariffs. He hasn't tariffed space yet. Any parts bought in from China? Let's have a look. Well, this is that's how much to these aliens. They're coming in here. They're buying all the land Katy Perry and Blue Origin also now celebrities are upset now I'm gonna read you the critique and tell me if you agree with them. Okay. Okay, cuz my girlfriend said to me

Oh my god, they're all coming after Katy Perry for doing this. And then she kissed the ground and everyone got angry at her. Oh, Emily Radabikowski. I would like to see those two things in, with no gravity. I like them with gravity. You ready? You care about Mother Earth and it's about Mother Earth and you're going up in a spaceship that is built and paid for by a company that's single-handedly destroying the planet. Look at the state of the world and think about how... Oh, she wasn't up there?

No, she was... she's critiqued. She's come out hard along with a lot of other celebrities like Olivia Munn who was saying this is a waste of resources. Oh, I take it back with Emily. Emily is a good girl. I just think when I see this, I hate that critique where they go, there's so many other things going on in the world. Oh, I hate... Well, people go, there's so many other things going on in the world. Oh, I hate, I hate what about ism. Uh, and what about this and what about that? We've got the war in Gaza and all this type of stuff and people going up into space.

When I was growing up, one of the most important things was we would, we would have a TV wheeled in to the room to watch a space launch. Space was the final fund, the final frontier. And we took it seriously. And I miss NASA as it was when I was a child. I miss having astronauts, right? I want us to go back to the moon and wander around with a high definition camera and make it no fucking argument, whether we've been to the moon or not.

Shut up all those cats. It's funny that you say this Jim because there is already a new conspiracy theory this has five and a half million views and it is titled definitive proof the blue origin mission was faked okay have a listen to some of this good evening everyone already on the amount amount amount just already voiced Katy Perry to space hoax aside of all the other proofs of this hoax. I just wanna show you this really, really quick one

that happened during the live footage of the opening of the hatch. Check this out. You saw her get so emotional in her pre-flight interview. Is she still, is that still the weighing emotion or is she still just, oh my God. I'd like to quickly weigh in. The last time the moon landing was faked, it was because America was competing with

an emerging superpower, the Soviet Union. And so they decided to fake a moon landing to show that they were a superior power. And now here we are again, fighting Russia and China. It wasn't faked. Russia and China. We went to the moon. China's now about to take over. We have moon rocks. We went there. So now I've become a real truther on this. Katy Perry faked her space trip to show China that we're ahead of them. Once again the deep state

doing its thing. Why did they pick Katy Perry? I do not know. She hasn't been that relevant. I'll give you one hot tip. The best publicist in the world is Katy Perry's right now. Taylor Swift must be thinking what the fuck? Katy Perry is a judge on American Idol and I gotta tell you when I watch American Idol with her, I get the sense she's not super nice. I just get that sort of vibe that she's, I don't know. But you know maybe I'm wrong. Maybe if I met her, I'd think, whenever I meet people, I always run over by them.

I'm very easy to win over. Just, I find that with people who don't like me, as soon as they meet you and they talk to you, same with Donald Trump and what's his name? Yeah, Bill Ma. Bill Ma. When you come face to face with people, you quite like them, but I don't, I get the social ick off Katy Perry. Really? just got a bad vibe. I get a bad vibe.

Yeah. Team Russell. Come on now. Come on. Let's find out why this was fake. Actually she starts laughing about it as you can see right here, because like I said, it's all staged. It has to be look like it's open from the outside. And we're now just awaiting the opening of the hatch. What are they saying? So what happened was is they, Bezos opened up the landing port and then he closed it again. Then they stopped and then 10 minutes later they brought the cameras in and then they were like

I'm now gonna un-open. It's like that doesn't mean it's staged It just means that they wanted to get the shot right because he's just spent god knows how much money to get this Yeah, no, no, it happened. It happened. But this just shows the internet right now We've got four to five million people on this video alone who are like they've done it again America and this is a thought this is more fun to think didn't happen million people on this video alone who are like they've done it again. And this is a foot, this is more fun to think didn't happen. Uh, I've, I've enjoyed, I enjoy conspiracy theory. I enjoy watching them at the end of the day, you have to deep program and go, no, no, no, these things, I'm not saying everything in the world happened.

I'm not saying, you know, I'm a believer that, that, uh, there was people who knew about Pearl Harbor before Pearl Harbor happened. You know what I mean? Like I'm not, but it did happen just, just because little things happen on the way. Yes. Was it allowed to happen? Um, okay.

So I mean, it's weird because they try and put this forward as this great family, but they weren't driving the ship. Yeah. Also, also pays us his wife, man. It's like,'s like she's really pretty but the work I don't know. It's like you're the richest man Well zero gravity definitely had an effect on the Botox No, that's mean spirited stuff man Well, you got a thing one day when Bezos if she threatens to take his money He's gonna keep sending her up there and blow one of those rockets up

Yeah, I see the real kids I see his ex-wife is one of the few people in the world who could afford to go on this thing. She didn't go up. I'm surprised he didn't go. Honey, I want you to lead us on a mission to be the first woman alone in space. I think I'm all for the billionaires in space. I think space is very important. I think us going up and actually doing exploring is what the mankind or there's a lot of the human race is a better term the human race is meant to do we're meant to explore there's a lot of and the fact that he sent a whole heap of women up because the first time he went up this with his brother and

some other person. William Shatner. Yeah I think listen if you're critical of billionaires going to space you shouldn't have taken their island away from them we closed down Epstein's Island and now they have to go somewhere else to have fun. So where do you expect them to go? Yeah. That's the new Epstein's Island. I've got a new idea for a space trafficking station. I've already got a new idea for a sitcom.

Space hookers. If you're a rich guy and you want a dirty boys trip away where you want to have fun with a few prostitutes, you can't be doing it on planet Earth, everyone's got camera phones. You go up to the space station, you bring a few girls on there, you disable the Hubble telescope because that's evidence, and then you just get to it and then you discard the prostitute out of the fucking back window and no one hears you scream up there. Now this is this is just for the billionaires this isn't Amos's fantasy. I want to be quite clear we don't condone these type of activities we're

just saying they could be done. Yeah we used to plant a flag into Mars and now you plant a four legs of a glass coffee table that the boys are going to do lines of. Fuck some hawkers up there. That's the true final frontier. No, I've done cocaine. I can tell you about cocaine. It wouldn't do well in zero gravity.

It's not a zero gravity drug. Imagine being just stuck with that. Just trying to make lines NASA would have to come up with some way to just the way they well I could do it I could do it but not with a paper straw okay so I just thought I look like a nightmare now ladies and gentlemen I think we can wrap it up now we're not Okay, so I just thought it looked like a nightmare. Now ladies and gentlemen, I think we can wrap it up. No, we're not done yet.

We're not done yet? Alright. A lot of stuff needs to be cut. So I need to do one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no then out there. Oh yeah. Also ladies and gentlemen with this podcast we endeavour to do it every week. We will try our darnest to do every week. We've got a good audience of people coming and listening into the podcast. We were actually building each week. We were getting bigger and bigger and then we had to fucking take it away. So if you like this content two blokes slightly disagreeing on some pretty basic arse things and some why you know, we're gonna do it as much as we can. This is the last step. Why? Who knows? I've got a bad feeling out there about my drive home. I saw three car accidents on the way up here,

put me in a bad mood. You reckon your gout's giving you a lead foot? Oh, it could do. I am serious. I can't move my legs. I've got a fucking straight leg. This is how fat I've gotten in America. And my joints are bad. No, no, your joints are bad. You got fat in Australia owning a pub. Can I tell you? You got fat because you were drinking 10 pints a day. Owning a pub. I had, you are right, I had about 10 pints a day and never drunk. Because you just get in there, you go, I'll have an opening pint.

Then you go, I'll have one because a friend came in mm-hmm then you have a couple more and it's enough through like 12 hours where you never feel really drunk and then I we had an exclusive contract with Smith's crisps I had about three packets of cheese and onion a day. It was my whole diet. Smith's crisps salt and vinegar are my favourite of all the Crisps. Oh, fucking ripping chip. And America does not do chips the same way or Crisps. No, they don't do as good.

They don't do as good. But we don't want to get in. Look, America, you do a lot of things better than everyone else, but Crisps aren't your thing. Well, anything to say before we go? Look, I should point out that I'm going to be doing shows. Oh, I've got shows. I've got shows. I've got, we had to going to be doing shows. Oh, I got shows. I got shows. I've got, um, we had to reschedule because of the TV work I was doing.

We had to reschedule the, the, the shows in Chicago, um, for me recording the special I'm prime for this special. I'm ready to go. Jack, what are the dates in Chicago? I can tell you. You got a Jim Jeffries.com for you. Jim Jeffries needs 15th, 16th. 15th and 16th. Two shows on the 16th. One warm up show on the 15th.

The show records will be on the 16th. One of the shows is sold out. The other two still have tickets. I'm also going to be in Las Vegas. Tell me the details of that, Jack. Just stop. You're going to be in Durham too, that same weekend on the 18th. I'm in Durham on the 18th. And then when am I going to- May 2nd and 3rd. May 2nd and 3rd at the Palazzo. Palazzo.

Palazzo, Palazzo, a new theatre because we're no longer at the Mirage, new theatre, new fresh take, we're ready to go Vegas. How do you feel as a Sabre person gambling? I like gambling. I don't gamble, I never gamble drunk. You didn't? No.

That's not true. Oh, I did. Oh no, no, I did. I did, I used to, no, but I've never, I never laid a big bet drunk. Right. I've never let, I've never let a, yeah, no, I've done way.

Yeah, of course I've never gambled drunk. Where did that come from? That was just an out and out lie. That's just you thinking the format of this podcast is to disagree with me the entire time. No, no, no, no. I never made a huge bet on any. I don't make huge bets, but I like, look, I just put $300 on the Clippers to win it all. You can quote me on that. Quote me on that. $12,000 return.

$12,900 return. And I did it before they got into the playoffs. I am hot on this team. Go Clips, go. If you want to see me do stand up, I am in Tacoma, Spokane on the 29th, 30th, 31st of May. When you're in Spokane, you're gonna go on that little gondola again, under the bridge and turn around.

Yeah, I'm gonna do it without you this time because you added negativity talking shit about it I'm gonna go there with a fresh mind. Get a new fridge magnet? I have I got two from Spokane, my girlfriend's giving me a ban Are you not allowed to buy extra Spokanes? No more Spokanes. I'm also gonna be in Toronto on the 23rd 24th They nearly sold out, but look we're back, hopefully we keep going. We're gonna do our dandas. You know it's just it's difficult because Jim is successful and I am mentally ill. And you're busy. And that causes issues. Trying to be successful. Yeah. I don't even have kids or anything and even today I was like, I don't think I've got the energy for the podcast. I don't think you have the energy to be a father. You know you have to chase after

them and get baseballs to the head. I'll tell you what happened with the baseball to the head quickly before I go, cause you'll see on my Instagram, there's a picture of me with a baseball to the head. I've got a bit of a black eye. I'd had a sleeping tablet and I'd had weed on the flight and I hadn't seen my son for seven weeks. And I got home and I was just like this.

And my son literally said to me, hey dad, I've been working on my curve ball. Like how American is this? This is a 90s movie. Yeah, hey dad, I've been working on my curve ball. Like how American is this? This is a nineties movie. Yeah. Hey dad, I've been working on my curve ball. And I said, all right, mate. I said, how about we go out and play catch?

And I was still a bit groggy and there was shadows in front of me. There was a shadow and then the rest was lit up. Right. And I said, throw us in a heater. And the first one he threw went about two meters above my head. And it was a bad, he was his first warm up one that went wild like that. And I remember thinking, hey, I didn't see that very well. Huh.

All right, this one straight down the pike. I don't think I moved my glove. Boom off my head. And then it rolled forward like five feet, like a bunt. It was like the perfect bunt. And I just felt that, but this is the thing with your kids right you you want to impress them as much as they want to impress you so I stood up like this

this time try to get it into me glove and he's like dad you're bleeding and I was fucking can cast as all balls I saw the picture now it looks so bad yeah like really bad to the point where it looks so bad. Yeah. Like really bad to the point where it did seem like you maybe had been involved in an altercation on the flight home. No, no, no. It was, you can see, you can see the scratch

is the stitches of the ball. Yeah. The ball stitches that the actual. Listen, I believe you, but there was talk behind your back that you might've had issues on the journey home. Really? That you maybe got into a fistfight with someone who said these rumors Yeah, it was a Matilda shirt wearing woman. Oh, yeah that fucking woman bloody shut your blind or I'll shut it for you You know you said close the blind that it turns out it was a trans athlete who beat the fuck out of you to death

Well, this is the thing. Look, I'm all for trans athletes. We don't need to go back to this. We're trying to end. Alright. So you must be proud of your son though because it was such a bad scar I felt proud of Hank knowing that he can throw the ball well. Dude he's playing some good-ass baseball at the moment. He's playing some good-ass baseball. Jim just watches when we're on tour. He just watches and this is amazing about modern tech for all the ills of tech. You just watches when we're on tour he just watches and this is amazing about modern tech for all the ills of tech you just watch your son's baseball games live. Yeah that's not just what I do but when he's baseball games are on. I'm saying like you a lot of people would think when you're away from your kids you'd be like

oh I don't have to go and watch them fucking play sports but you watch it live. I love it I love it yeah. Yeah. I like it. Also now he's 12. They can play. They can turn double plays. The kids are pitching fast. Kids are hitting home runs. This is because you were a spanner at sports and you feel proud that your son's good. That's got part of it, but also also parenting and to any parent that is

listening, which is a lot of it, a lot of you, um you there's so few moments of the so there's less wins than there are losses you know in the sense that when they graduate that's good you know I mean wow they graduate you get to watch them but you had to sit through the exams and the exams were so painful and the studying and the hard work so when you see hard work pay off for them it fills your heart man because sometimes they put in the hard work and So when you see hard work pay off for him, it fills your heart, man. Because sometimes they put in the hard work and they learn a valuable life lesson that it doesn't always work out, but you like seeing them succeed. So yeah, it is, it is good.

I like watching my kids baseball team more than the Dodgers. Of course. You know what I mean? So also, I mean, you could show how your tiny moonlights and our team, you get to sit closer to him. Not many people know that. What's the six foot four Japanese fella doing up here? He's gambling on it. It's his only place he gets away with it now. Jim also was so desperate for his son to do well in the fantasy basketball league he created. He sacrificed his own win this week. I sacrificed my own win because I wanted to try to make him get third and if I

shut my fat mouth I would have won but I still tied. I lost $200 because I tried to make my son help win but yeah. You'll understand one day. Wait your wait your sperm sucks. Alright everyone. My sperm does. My sperm's fine. I'd like you to be accurate in your attack. Your semen's too viscous. My semen's super lumpy and right up until I got a vasectomy I could wink at someone and they'd get pregnant. So I don't know what's wrong with your sperm. Come here I'm going to frost you. No mine you can roll in your fingers like this into a ball and flick it.

Yeah my semen is like a cinnamon, it's like a cinnabon topping. Oh I have clear, mine doesn't even stain my clothes. I have no problems just jizzing on a shirt. And what a wonderful note. Alright ladies and gentlemen, it was a pleasure having you all and that's what was happening at this moment. You