I Don't Know About That - Bees with Ted McFall

Episode Date: June 23, 2020

In this episode, the team covers bees with the help of Beekeeper Ted McFall.   Thanks to our sponsors Raycon (code IDontKnow), OMAX Health (code Jim), Mack Weldon (code IDontKnow), and BlueChew (code... Jim).   Follow Us:   Jim Jefferies Website: www.jimjefferies.com Jim Jefferies Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies/?hl=en Jim Jefferies Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies/ Jim Jefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies Forrest Shaw Website: www.forrestshaw.net Forrest Shaw Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrestshaw/ Forrest Shaw Twitter: https://twitter.com/forrestshaw Kelly Blackheart Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellyblackheart/   Jack Hackett Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Jack_hackett/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:02:49 And it's actually just a short set. It's like a 20-something minute set. But it's really good. It's fun. I recorded it late last year. And it's going to be featured on SiriusXM's Raw Dog channel on June 24th at 2 p.m. and 10 p.m. They're going to play the whole album. That's Channel 99, the Raw Dog channel on June 24th at 2pm and 10pm they're going to play the whole album that's Channel 99 the Raw Dog channel on SiriusXM
Starting point is 00:03:08 I'll post a free link for people that don't have SiriusXM you can click on the link I'll put it on all my social media Forrest Shaw is my handle on everything and you can click that link and listen to SiriusXM for free then so I just want to give a shout out to Paul Ovcharski at Raw Dog he set this all up and then
Starting point is 00:03:24 my album will be available on all digital platforms June 26th, so everywhere that they have that you can listen to it. And my website will just be free streaming there too. But please listen to Raw Dog June 24th, 2 p.m. and 10 p.m. Yeah, that's it. And I have a comedy special coming out on Netflix July 7th. It's called Intolerant, and it debuts July 7th. And the easy way to remember it is it's three days after my auntie's birthday.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Oh, yeah. When is it? July 7th. Oh, when's your aunt's birthday? Fourth of July. I don't know any other way for people to remember that date. You should just say your aunt's birthday. The Human Anatomy.
Starting point is 00:04:03 DVD players. The lower intestine. DVD players. The lower intestine of a bull. Did you know that dogs can also be called canines? You could learn all of this on I Don't Know About That with Jim Jefferies. Hi, I'm Jim Jefferies. Welcome to I Don't Know About That. Hello, everyone. How are you all doing today? Kelly, Jack and Forrest, you all good? Yeah, I'm good. The human Welcome to I Don't Know About That. Hello, everyone. How are you all doing today? Kelly, Jack, and Forrest, you all good? Yeah, I'm good. The human anatomy?
Starting point is 00:04:28 The human anatomy. When you said you had some things picked out for the top, I wasn't expecting any of this. I don't think of the lower intestine of a bull. Yeah, I mean, amazing. A whole episode on the lower. Not the upper. That's a different episode. Oh, there's so much to know about the upper. Part two.
Starting point is 00:04:44 How does it work? Do they shit like we do? Because don't they have four stomachs? Not the upper. That's a different episode. Oh, there's so much to know about the upper. How does it work? Do they shit like we do? Because don't they have four stomachs? Fuck off, Jack. Bulls don't have four stomachs. Cows have two, right? Yeah, two.
Starting point is 00:04:57 You sure it's not four? No. I don't know about that. I learned that the cows have two stomachs because when David Brent goes for lunch with a woman, he says, ask me about anything. That's basically the concept of this show. Ask me about anything. He goes, cows have two stomachs.
Starting point is 00:05:11 So he said that's how I know that cows have two stomachs. I don't know the purpose behind the two stomachs. That could be an episode right there. Oh, yeah. Don't you have some announcements? I have some announcements. Never gets old. It looks like maybe in july i'll be performing in vegas at the mirage hotel unless it gets good because vegas is reopening so yeah so i don't
Starting point is 00:05:35 really you know i don't know vegas is the place that should reopen i feel like maybe a place where people sit at tables and hand each other money constantly over and over, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth with chips and everyone's drinking and stuff like that. Probably not the best. Yeah, the last time we went to Vegas, I was effectively dead for nine days. I think me and you both had COVID-19 when we were in Vegas.
Starting point is 00:05:58 I think I had it, but I can't prove that because the tests aren't very good. And you get tested now and they go like this, oh, well, we gave you a test, but you could have had it you might not have it you might have it again who knows yeah covid yeah like give me 125 we'll tell you zero information that you didn't have before you took this test did you do the antibody test yeah and i haven't gotten the results yet but they did a while ago uh last week but they send you an email going these tech tests aren't very
Starting point is 00:06:25 accurate so it could mean that you had it could mean that you didn't it's like what the fuck well sam morel put out a very good tweet today my friend sam morel the comedian he put out a very good tweet and the tweet was uh he said uh because the some of the covid tests take 10 days to get the results out and he said 10 days to get your results for COVID. That's like a pregnancy test that takes nine months. Accurate. At the end of 10 days, you're almost over it or you're dead. There are your two choices. Did you see the way that – I can't pull this up on the screen right now,
Starting point is 00:06:56 but that's what they're saying for blackjack tables, how you would play it now. They're going to install those. So it's like a sneeze guard at Sizzler. Yeah, yeahler yeah yeah yeah they're both like you have to go inside one of these things and you gamble and then also the dealer has that in front of them so that'll be good that'll be good yeah it probably better yeah i don't want to talk to people yeah i love being alone on the blackjack last time i was in the high rollers room i was betting a hundred dollars a hand on blackjack and you know so nothing crazy you know and the woman next to me was betting four or five grand a hand right
Starting point is 00:07:31 and you try to sleep with her no she's like an old boozy gambler like and it was all inheritance money you said you wanted a sugar mama that was your opportunity no but i actually i actually told her to stop gambling i said stop it please it. Please stop this. You can't do this anymore. Please. I couldn't watch it anymore. I had to tell her because it wasn't like she was playing five grand a hand and playing the cards properly. She was playing like a fucking maniac.
Starting point is 00:07:55 She was getting 20 and split those against like a 10. And it was like, what the fuck are you doing? And then she was hitting on 17 against the six. I'm not fucking kidding you. Right. What an idiot. No, but with five grand. And I'm like, you can't stop this.
Starting point is 00:08:16 You're just giving this casino money. If you want to throw it away, just give it to a charity or something. If you want to just literally just throw it. And I said, unless I go, you're going to be broke unless you have unlimited funds and she goes i do right and then now the mystery in my head is how did that woman get unlimited funds who was the bloke who married her what did she invent how on earth has that lady, old Smokey Joe, got unlimited funds? But good luck to you. And then when he went back to her room and you were fingering her,
Starting point is 00:08:50 you found out. I didn't. I didn't finger her because I don't believe in foreplay, Kelly. A real traditionalist. I don't have a gentle touch. I get straight in there. So that brings us to our guest. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:03 There you go. Good segue. I'm going to introduce our guest yeah yeah there you go good segue um i'm gonna introduce our guest today say hello to ted mcfall good day ted mcfall how are you mate i'm doing fine nice to meet you all right okay so here's a part of the show judging a book by its cover ted jim's gonna try and guess what you do he's only allowed to ask you yes or no questions he has never gotten this right he probably will never get it right, but I'm going to maybe add a couple hints today to see if. Now, Ted. Just ask him yes or no questions.
Starting point is 00:09:30 I'm looking at the room you're in right now. You either have the biggest room on earth with a regular-sized flag or a really small flag in a regular-sized room. So I don't know. I don't know. You might be 200 meters at the front of the room and that's way in the back and you're just got a warehouse but i'm not sure but you look like you got lots of books no books boxes and boxes probably filled
Starting point is 00:09:56 with and you look very orderly i think is are you in your garage or is this like a living room or what is this it's no it's a it's a barn it's a barn. It's a barn. You're in a barn. All right. Yes or no. I mean, I just feel like it's supposed to be yes or no, but I mean, he's never going to get them a yes or no. Okay, yes or no. He's never going to get them even a yes, though. Question one, are you in a barn?
Starting point is 00:10:17 All right, so you're in a barn. That means you don't live in LA or anything like that. You live out in the sticks a little bit. Not when I mean the sticks. I mean, like you live in a or anything like that. You live out in the sticks a little bit. Not when I'm in the sticks. I mean, like you live in a rural area. So you're going to, does your job involve animals? Kind of. All right.
Starting point is 00:10:38 All right. All right. All right. He deals with sexual predators. Okay. So kind of animals. Do you work at a university? No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Have you written books? No. Okay. So how are you a specialist in something? Yes. Do you do documentaries? Not yet. Not yet.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Okay. You don't have to have done those things to be an expert in something but how how do you pass on your information well we will say yeah jack says cows have four stomachs they do yeah but but no one but no okay he's maybe podcasting stuff um uh have you done a ted talk no okay i will give you one hit right now that might you know in the intros when you make ups you say like random things that you want to learn about you've said this before oh you're from cats the musical yeah i don't know we've done enough episodes now where i think you'd have to scour your brain yeah i don't i don't uh the cats for fishing both fly and boat no all right you're not gonna get it um
Starting point is 00:11:52 ted mcfall is an expert in bees ah bees you said that in the second episode i believe all right i know that bees are very important to the ecosystem of life. And if the bees die, we all fucking die, man. Hold on. I'm not sure. We'll get to that. But what a twist. So Tavik Falls here to talk to us about bees and murder hornets as well, because I'll tell you how little I know about murder hornets. That's the first time I've heard of them.
Starting point is 00:12:22 You've never heard of murder hornets? I've never heard of them. Oh, man. They're scary, man. They're scary. Is that what you call wasps? It's the first time I've heard of them. You've never heard of murder hornets? I've never heard of them. They're scary, man. Is that what you call wasps? No. A murder hornet. They're going to find out.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Why hasn't there been one NASCAR driver called the murder hornet? They're like new to the news. Where's the wrestler called the murder hornet? You're going to learn about it. It came like a month ago. Shut up. Oh, I haven't watched news for a month. Yeah, yeah. Here you go.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Ted McFall, bees. I'm going to put it right there, right there, so you know. Forrest spelled bees with two E. Yeah. What an idiot. So, Ted, tell us how you know about bees so that you can prove to Jim that you're an expert on bees. Are those boxes of bees behind you, Ted? Those are empty hives.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Yeah, those are additional boxes. That's true. Yeah, you should have recognized that. Give us a point. Yeah, Ted, introduce yourself. Tell us a little bit about yourself and how you come to know about bees and all that stuff. Yeah, so I'm from a beekeeping family. My father raised bees ever since I was a little boy
Starting point is 00:13:25 so I've been around it I was a helper for my for my father you know he always jokes that whenever we left to college that he lost all his all his free labor but he still bee keeps I bee keeps it's a family thing and and yeah that's what I I love doing and it's a fascinating fascinating endeavor and there's and you're also just currently getting your certificate. We didn't even know this was a thing. We talked yesterday, your certification from the University of Montana and as a master beekeeper. Correct. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I'm currently working on that. I've already been through the the lower certifications, those levels.
Starting point is 00:14:00 And yeah, hopefully, God willing, I'll finish the master certification at the end of the at the end of the uh the summer what is it yeah and the class are actually they're accredited through the uh university of montana i mean they're legit classes i'm a i'm a master beater got him didn't mean to interrupt that one that's when you need to drop right there okay so there's other levels before master beekeeper. That's what I was saying, right? Yes. Yes, definitely. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:30 All right. A little fun fact. I'm allergic to bees. Oh. That is fun. I've only been stung once in my life. I got stung once in my life when I was about seven. I had to be rushed up to the hospital.
Starting point is 00:14:41 I swelled up and was all sweaty and all that type of stuff. But I've been told, and I don't know if you know anything about this ted that i i may no longer be allergic to bees it may have worked its way out of my system as i've gotten older but not to test that out yeah well don't answer anything yet ted don't give him any information this is what he's trying to do fish for information and you're gonna give it to him we're gonna find out what he knows now um also that's not a fun fact that's just a a fact. It's not fun that you're alerted to these. Did you ever see that Michael J. Fox thing when he was walking down the red carpet in the E! News? He talked about it on Letterman
Starting point is 00:15:12 or something like that. The E! News was like, and here we go. Here's Sofia Vicarra. Fun fact, she comes from Colombia. And then like all that type of stuff, right? And then like, Michael J. Fox and his beautiful wife are walking down the red carpet. And then the little bludge at the thing beautiful wife are walking down the red carpet and then the little bludge at the thing.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Fun fact, he has Parkinson's. Definitely not a fun fact. All right. So here's what we're going to do. Ted, Jim's going to tell us everything he thinks he knows about bees. I'm going to prod him along with some questions because, you know, just so you know where to kind of go. And then when he's done with that, we're going to grade him on a scale of 1 to 10.
Starting point is 00:15:46 You're going to give him a scale on accuracy. And like I told you, you can be harsh if you don't think he did well. Just give him the appropriate score. Kelly's going to grade him on confidence, and I'm going to grade Jim on his new haircut. And before you go off, let's take a quick break. Hi, everyone. Whether you're working from home or working on your fitness,
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Starting point is 00:21:13 That's O-M-A-X health.com. Enter code JIM and get 20% off and site-wide. Yeah. What about emotional pain? If you can't touch it, you can't put it on it. All right. And we're back. We're back, right?
Starting point is 00:21:29 Yeah. All right. We're back. All right. We're here with Ted McFall. Bees. Bees. There you go.
Starting point is 00:21:35 We're going to grade you on accuracy, confidence, your new haircut, and you're going to get a scale of one to ten. All three of those. If you go 26 through 30 total, you're a queen bee. 20 to 25, unbelievable. Kelly wrote these. Nice. 13 through 19, bees' knees.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Yeah. I think that'd be a lot. 7 through 12, I'm sorry, 13 through 19, worker bee. I don't know, 7 through 12, worker bee. And then 0 through 6, you're a dead bee. Where's I believe? I believe. You can believe that you're gonna do well in these
Starting point is 00:22:06 facts yeah all right if i do well can i get a b okay so let's start with it and and some people have told me that like and we did this i think on the last episode a little bit better olympics i've kind of repeated the questions afterwards so we know what we're talking about instead of just being all jumbled up so i will go back and bring up the questions when we're going over them. All right, let's start with this. Where do bees come from? Bees, they live in hives. Bees come from the queen bee.
Starting point is 00:22:37 And the queen bee... Like what region of the world does most of them originate? They're indigenous around the world, bees, in every place. It's one of the few animals we have all across the world. That's how things pollinate from birds and bees. And that's probably how they created birds and bees fuck each other. If I'm led to believe anything that I've seen in sitcoms over the years where they talk about the birds and the bees. But bees, what happens is there's a queen bee.
Starting point is 00:23:03 She's in charge of everything right it's a very upside down society where the woman's in power and all the men are all the men are fluffing around trying to impress her now for lack of a better term they gang bang her all the different bees who gangs banger all the all the male what are they called. All the male bees. What are they called? Beakaki. Male bees. Just male bees. They beakaki. There's just honey all over the face. Just shot on the queen.
Starting point is 00:23:34 We can get into the bee porn business. Just shot onto the queen bee. So the male bees are just called male bees. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, they're male bees. They're just cool dudes. They're a bunch of princes if she's the
Starting point is 00:23:46 queen prince bees i'm gonna call them and are there other female bees besides the queen bee no just the one there's no there's no other female i don't know it seems to be okay so maybe okay so maybe there's like a queen bee and she has a few people underneath and maybe don't ever say maybe because your confidence score is going way down i I don't know a lot about bees. Anyway, so all the bees fuck each other, but for the most part, if you really want to get involved,
Starting point is 00:24:13 if you want to move up the ranks, you go after the queen. You give her a good seeing too. And that's why Beyonce calls herself Queen Bee because she gets banged by one of her... Because she's in charge. She's going to be furious.
Starting point is 00:24:32 She's the number one. She's the boss. That's why she's the Queen Bee, I think. And also her name starts with a B. Yeah, I think it's more the B. Okay. And what do bees eat? Pollen.
Starting point is 00:24:46 They collect pollen from the different flowers. They eat it too? Yeah, they do everything with it. That's like their main thing. They eat the pollen. Oh, no, they create the honey. No, they eat honey. They eat honey.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Eat honey? Yeah, they create the honey, then eat the honey. Wait, they create it first. They create it. And how do they create honey? By getting the pollen into the honeycomb then eat the honey. Wait, they create it first. They create it. And how do they create honey? By getting the pollen into the honeycomb and rubbing their feet together. It's like wine. I think you're nailing it.
Starting point is 00:25:11 You squish all the grapes. Yeah, hit it with a stick. I'm learning a lot. Anyway, so the bees, what they do is they all get together and they go, they make the honey. The sugars come out, and I assume it comes out of their ass somewhere or their feet, the honey. That's a wide range.
Starting point is 00:25:32 And the honey, they only need, like it's not bad for us to take it. See, vegans, this is where vegans lose me. The bees don't mind if we take their honey. I've heard, I know for a fact, that bees only need less than 10% of their honey. They mass produce. And so we take the other honey, and that's the honey that we eat. Okay, how much honey does one bee make in its entire life?
Starting point is 00:25:59 This is a honey bee, of course. A honey bee. It makes a quarter of a jar quarter of a jar of one of those honey bear containers no no no two two cups two cups of honey two cups in its whole life yeah depending on here's one for you depending on whether it's stung anyone or not because after it stings a person it dies okay i knew that for a fact give me what they want and all all like like for instance all honeybees have stingers oh not all of them some of them are born without stingers people aren't all the same either some some people are born without limbs are they less of a person to
Starting point is 00:26:39 you forest okay are they if you see someone with flaminamide, do you go, oh, that person's not a whole person? Well, they are to me, Forrest. They are to me. So some of them are deformed. How do bees communicate? How do they buzz? They buzz to each other. And that buzz is made by rubbing their feet together. Rubbing feet is the buzz. They buzz to each other. And that buzz is made by rubbing their feet together. Rubbing feet.
Starting point is 00:27:07 Yeah, there's a lot of foot rubbing in the insect world. Okay. Are they insects? I'm going to write that. Are they insects? Okay. I think they're fish. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:20 I mean, he did give you a clue, Ted. He did say sort of when you asked him if he worked with animals. But that wasn't true. Okay, well, we're all animals. So anyway, so are you saying insects aren't animals? They're living organisms, right? Keep going. So anyway, so the bees, we need them in the world
Starting point is 00:27:38 because if we don't have them, if they stop pollinating, all the plants will die and then we won't get anything to eat. And so that's how the world will end. What else would happen if all the plants will die, and then we won't get anything to eat. And so that's how the world will end. It's similar to what happened when I was at school. You know how they taught us how dinosaurs became extinct? Now we have the meteorite theory and the ice age and all that type of stuff. When I was at school, the theory was this. The theory was that the herbivores ate all the plants there's no more
Starting point is 00:28:07 plants left and then the carnivores ate all the herbivores and they just ran out of food that's what they taught in australia school how do they all go ran out of food that's better than creationism ran out of food was okay a couple more questions because it seems like you know sting from the police is not his original name okay his original name is gordon he was called sting because he wore a stripy jumper that was black and gold that made him look like a bee okay well whoa um b facts. How long does a bee live? And how many live in a hive? A bee will live for three weeks in a hive,
Starting point is 00:28:53 depending on the size of the hive. Like if you... Just give me like a range, anywhere from what to what? Anywhere from one, if there's been like... There's a honeybee, I'm sorry. A honeybee colony. Typically consists of anywhere from... Anywhere from one, if there's been like a holocaust someone sprayed in there right there might just be one bee just kicking about and then uh up to uh
Starting point is 00:29:14 800 000 800 000 okay it's a big and then last last couple questions here what is a murder hornet a murder hornet is uh it's a ride at uh it's a ride at six flags we want to ride the murder hornet yeah it hurts my neck do you know anything about murder hornets never heard of a murder how would a murder relate to a bee it's a male bee and it fucks the queen okay i think we're done um i don't i don't know anything about bees yeah well you know i know okay i know okay so i know that they sting and they die i know that i always have like four of them in my swimming pool that i have to scoop out i know that i always have four of them like why is that the pictures that i don't i don't see other other bugs don't get in there but bees fuck me it's funny because because I was at Scott's this weekend.
Starting point is 00:30:06 We were in the pool and he's like, what the fuck is with bees? Why are they always in the water? I keep trying to save this guy. It's like cicadas and shit and fucking daddy long legs and spider. You never see a spider floating around. Fucking bees can't get enough of swimming pools. Love swimming. I keep finding dead bees on my balcony.
Starting point is 00:30:24 I don't know what to do about that. Okay, well, that's not a swimming pools. Love swimming. I keep finding dead bees on my balcony. I don't know what to do about that. Okay, well, that's not a swimming pool. I've been trying. Psycho, stop collecting dead bees. I've been trying to send you a message, Jack. No, but my son swims around
Starting point is 00:30:35 and he sees a bee and he's like, oh, dad, there's a bee in the pool. The bee's very clearly dead. Yeah. It's a very clearly like drowned bee,
Starting point is 00:30:43 but like I have to go and scoop it out because I'm going to say, oh, no, dad, there's a bee. like drowned bee but like i have to go and scoop it out because my style oh no dad there's a bee well let's see how you did um ted thanks for being patient through this i could he was laughing so it's good but i think that he was making a lot of notes so i don't think that's good um on a scale of one to ten ten being the best rate jim's knowledge of bees be fair let me be honest. Well, since I'm being generous, I would probably give about a two.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Yeah! And that's generous? That's two. I can't believe you gave him a two. I'm looking at my notes. I didn't know everything and a lot about bees until we started looking at it, but two is very generous. You are a nice guy, Ted.
Starting point is 00:31:22 All right, Kelly, let's go. One to ten, confidence. Confidence real low today obviously he said um are bees insects so um and he said i know about bees because i always have four in my swimming pool so i'm going one on confidence one yeah that's that's also generous uh i am gaming you a scale of one to ten on your new haircut and that's pretty good i think it's what happened with my haircut was I tried to give myself a quarantine cut at home but I just started clipping
Starting point is 00:31:51 into it and then it just wasn't good it turned out I couldn't do it by myself around the back of me so I had to get Julia come over to fix it up and that's why my haircut's been improved but it was shocking when I first saw it I'm going to give you a 10 on your haircut but then I'm going gonna take off five points for bring up sting so you're gonna get five total in that category this score doesn't really mean anything i was telling jack a story the other day
Starting point is 00:32:12 just before we carry on about when you just took my points off okay so so what happened was when when i was in school they had they made you learn like a few languages and australians don't give zero fucks about learning other languages we're just so isolated and what are you gonna do they always teach you german italian and all this stuff and so i think it was a italian test on my italian test i got minus four minus four on an exam that's fucking remarkable um because i got one i got one uh mark for knowing what Bongiorno meant, right? Fucking nailed that to the wall, right? Knew exactly what that meant. And then I got five marks deducted for talking
Starting point is 00:32:52 and annoying people during the exam, right? Now, here's the kicker. I didn't come last. Tony Abdo annoyed people twice and got minus 10. That cunt didn't even get Bongiorno. Fucking Tony. Tony Abdo, if twice and got minus 10. That cunt didn't even get bongiardo. Fucking Tony. Tony Abdo, if you're out there. Tony Abdo.
Starting point is 00:33:09 He was like. Tony's got to be Italian, too. He didn't get bongiardo. I think Tony might have been Lebanese or something. Tony was our Nelson Muntz of the school. All right, Tony, if you're out there, please subscribe and rate the podcast. Appreciate it. You're a worker bee somehow. We've got to. Appreciate it. You're a worker bee somehow.
Starting point is 00:33:25 We've got to fix the scale. I'm a worker bee. You should be a dead bee. Zero through six is a dead bee. Ted was generous. If you should have given you a zero, you would be a dead bee. I should have given you a two, but it's okay. We'll move on.
Starting point is 00:33:35 No, my haircut. Save me. So we're going to talk to Ted now. Ted, thanks for being patient. Make it till you make it. Let's start off with where do bees come from? That was the first question I asked him. And he said they're from all around the world.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Is that correct? No. Well, originally they came from around the Asia area. And that was around 140 million years ago. And they evolved at the same time as plants. So it would make sense that the bees pollinate the plants. And so they evolved so long ago. And they're still pollinating to this day.
Starting point is 00:34:06 So they spread after that, but that's what I was trying to get. Yeah, but that means that we're everywhere with plants. We can't just go. I asked you, though, where did they come originally? They evolved from the Big Bang with the rest of us. What are you talking about? You got a tube. Be thankful you got a tube.
Starting point is 00:34:19 You wouldn't go, where do people evolve from? But Jim asked, are they insects? Let's ask that question. Yes, that is is correct they are insects yeah what a good question do insects have hearts i don't know they would they would have they have some i know when you step on them some type of ooze comes out of them they have they have some type of blood stream that comes out of them so i would say they're an animal. Yeah, well, it's not blood. It's a different type of hemolymph, a different type of a liquid that's inside them.
Starting point is 00:34:52 It's not blood. They're in the animal kingdom. Yeah. So I guess you'd be right on that. Yes. But anyways, so the queen bee, Jim says that they're in charge of everything and they just have sex with male bees and there are no other female bees Can we talk about the queen bee and like what other kind of bees are and and I maybe do that?
Starting point is 00:35:11 How many different types of bees are there? I know we're gonna talk about honeybee specifically today a lot. But like how many types of bees are there? I know there's an African bee. There was a problem with them We didn't have enough of them coming out there was we did the show, the African bees were coming and they were causing trouble. I got to stop talking. Yeah, yeah. So the Africanized bee, that's a type of a honeybee, actually. But there's thousands of different types of bees.
Starting point is 00:35:38 But when we're talking about the honeybee, that's the one that grows big colonies and can pollinate huge amounts of crops and plants. And so that's the one that gets everyone's attention is the honeybee because that's the big powerful one. But there's thousands of types of smaller, like little native sort of bees also. Okay, so the queen bee, there's no other female bees. That's what Jim said. Is that correct? No, the majority of the bees are females. jim said is that correct no no the majority of the bees are females so if you see one flying around almost all of them are females uh there
Starting point is 00:36:10 are a few drones uh those are the males they're a little bit bigger than the females but they don't mate with the the queen that's in the hive uh the the queen will mate one time after she hatches she will leave the colony fly miles and miles away to make sure that she doesn't accidentally mate with any of her siblings drones that she's related to and so she mates one time and then that's it for the life then she flies back to her hive and she lives the rest of her life in the hive and never leaves how do they how's my life ted can you look at a hive and just automatically spot who the queen is do you know know who it is right away? Yeah, she'll be a little bit bigger. She'll have a longer abdomen and a little flatter thorax.
Starting point is 00:36:51 She's easy to recognize. And how do they decide who the queen's going to be? Is it just like someone rises through the ranks, eats a bit more, gets a larger thorax, and then that's the job? Or are you born into it like the dalai lama yeah yeah you're they uh what they'll do is they'll take a young little larva that would have just been a regular worker and they will treat it differently and feed what's called royal jelly to that young one and and they just keep feeding royal jelly and pack it full of real
Starting point is 00:37:19 jelly and then she grows big strong and she turns into a queen and that royal jelly is actually a very strange substance. The bees actually squeeze it out of their head. I hear it's good for your skin. Yeah, I know. Some people eat it. I mean, it's kind of supposed to be super healthy. I know what I'm renaming something.
Starting point is 00:37:41 So wait, the males only drones are males and then the females are the worker bees? Is that how it works? Yeah, that's correct. The drones are the males, and they can't sting. They have no stinger. Really?
Starting point is 00:37:52 They don't do any work. Yeah, they don't do any work. All they do is lounge around in the hive all day and eat honey. So it's the opposite to our society. No. Canceled. Yeah, but the bad thing for the drones is come the winter time, the girls kick all the drones out. They kick out all the
Starting point is 00:38:08 boys and don't let them in. And so the boys end up freezing to death or starving to death outside the hive. So that happens once a year in Beaks where that happens once a month in the human world. Except it's a couch. Yeah, but the couch is outside. Alright.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Jim said Beyonce. I think we know that's a couch. Yeah, but the couch is outside. All right. Jim said Beyonce. I think we know that's not right. I think that's why she's called Queen B, because she's in charge, right? And it's a happy coincidence that her name is Beyonce. Jim also said they moved the ranks by giving the queen be a good sing to. Do bees fuck? Do they have sex, like Jim's saying, or is that? Yeah, so whenever the queen first hatches,
Starting point is 00:38:47 she flies away and she finds what's called a drone congregation area, which there's a lot of drones that are flying up in the air. So actually, that fellow that said he found dead bees on his balcony, there's a chance that somewhere up in the air above his house is a drone congregation area. Because what happens is after the male mates with the female, he'll fall dead. There's a drone congregation area. Because what happens is after the male mates with the female, he'll fall dead. There's a drone congregation area inside his house.
Starting point is 00:39:08 How embarrassing is it that bees are fucking more than you are? It's really upsetting. I've had people make out in my bathroom who aren't me. I know there's bees having sex up my house. God damn it. I'm cursed. Wait, wait. Let's go. The bees are mocking it. I'm cursed. Wait, wait. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:39:25 These guys are mocking you. I'm sorry, Ted. Let's go back a step here. You've had people make out in your bathroom who aren't you. Yeah. Is it like an en suite? Like in your bedroom? Yeah, in my bedroom.
Starting point is 00:39:38 What's going on there? We had a party and I kept opening the bathroom to people making out. I was like, what are you doing? I gotta go. Get out. Your life is like a bad egg. Yeah, it really is age why wouldn't they just do it out
Starting point is 00:39:46 in the living room I don't know people that's how that's how much people like you Jack as soon as people have any sexual tension
Starting point is 00:39:53 where they're like we might fuck don't do it in front of Jack don't make him feel bad in his own room it's not fair so they go into your room and they make out
Starting point is 00:40:03 were they fucking Jack were they fucking no they didn't go that far well to be fair they were fucking, Jack? No, they didn't go that far. Well, to be fair, they were going to go on the balcony, but they didn't want to disrupt the bees. It was a big congregation out there. Why would they be in a swimming pool? Since we were talking about the balcony. Is that a thing?
Starting point is 00:40:16 I think people seem to think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So actually, that's evidence that people might be urinating in that swimming pool. The bees love it. The bees are urinating in that swimming pool. The bees love it. The bees are urinating. Just fucking told on himself. There's like a hundred dead bees. I have a small son.
Starting point is 00:40:44 But I urinate on it. Wait, so they're attracted to urine? Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, they're attracted to water sources anyway. So it's possible they could just be going for it. But yeah, they particularly love pools that are peed in. I also found 10 in my underwear. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:41:11 I didn't think there would be an actual answer to that. I thought it would be like, oh, they're in pools. I love that. I thought the chlorine would kill that, though. Well, they kill the bees. My pool guy said that that was all right. You can do anything in there. The chlorine will...
Starting point is 00:41:24 Well, that's the thing. So, bees, their sense of smell is very... I mean, is amazing, right? That's the thing. Oh yeah, far more powerful than even dogs. Yeah, so you can't smell it, but a bee can smell it. I didn't even know they had noses. Is it true they can smell fear and stuff like that? Like the pheromones we give off when we're afraid, is that true or is that phony? I wouldn't say necessarily fear, but of course, people smell differently.
Starting point is 00:41:54 And so sometimes they will target one person more than another person. Yeah, and you mentioned in the call, there's that smell. Is it the smell they generate, the banana smell? Because I said we need to mention that. Yeah, so what? Can you speak now? Yeah, yeah. So when the bees feel like there's an emergency, they'll emit a pheromone and that pheromone, uh,
Starting point is 00:42:09 commonly smells like a banana. Some people say it smells like a sweet banana or a banana taffy. So if, uh, you know, if the bees are all over you getting, you know, attacking you, there's a good chance that you're going to smell like a, you're going to think you have a banana smell. And so that's why they say if you're going to mess with bees, don't eat a banana right before you work on your bees, because they're going to think that there's an emergency going on and
Starting point is 00:42:28 they're going to try to sting you. That's a catchy saying. Don't eat a banana before you work with the bees. Because they'll smell it and then they'll go after you. You know, like they say. You know what my mother always said. Don't eat a banana before you work with the bees.
Starting point is 00:42:44 Smell it. Because that Jim, I think I told you, Jim famously talked about, I think it was the last podcast. Yeah. My mother always said, don't eat a banana before you work with bees. Because Jim, I think I told you about Jim famously. He talked about it in the last podcast. He hates bananas. I hate bananas. And I'm allergic to bees. It's all coming together. That's another good reason not to eat bananas. And you pee in your pool.
Starting point is 00:42:58 There's little changes I could make to my life that would make it so much better. Stop pissing in the pool. I was going to mention, Jim, that every eight or or nine years the body's chemistry tends to change a little bit so there's a good chance you might not be allergic anymore or sometimes if someone is allergic uh you know or vice versa i think you can turn allergic or or become not allergic every eight or nine years that makes sense i used to be called susan yeah you can get i just got an allergy test you can just get just get an allergy i like i like the mystery a lot well you're peeing in your pool you're gonna have bees around you might as well
Starting point is 00:43:28 get the test there's a lot of people who use that pool all right um uh so jim said that bees eat pollen they collect pollen and then they make honey with it by coming out of their feet or their ass yeah then they eat the honey. And they eat the honey after that. So can we talk about pollen and what they do with them, then maybe get into the honey production and stuff like that? Yeah. So what happens is they pollinate plants and they're looking for either nectar or pollen. That's the two things they collect and that's the two things they eat.
Starting point is 00:44:00 The pollen is a protein. The nectar is the carbohydrate they need. they eat. The pollen is a protein. The nectar is the carbohydrate they need. And so what they do is whenever they're collecting pollen, they will go, whenever they leave the hive, let's say they find an apple tree. What they're interested in doing is just finding pollen off of apple trees. And so they will go from a male apple tree to a female apple tree and accidentally fertilize the female one. And they'll go back and forth amongst that type of plant, whatever they're after, and pollinate the plants. The male part of a plant is the anther, and the female part is the stigma. The bee will accidentally pollinate the plant by
Starting point is 00:44:42 making some of that pollen go into the an the the anther of a plant and do they eat the pollen they don't eat the right yeah yeah yeah they bring it back yeah they bring it back and they'll store it in the in the honeycomb and they'll feed it to the babies and they'll and they'll eat it later and then so really when the honey i'm sorry i didn't mean to go over the honey that's it how is that created like it's out their feet? Yeah, yeah. So like plants have pollen and they also have nectar. So what they will do is they will suck up some of the nectar from the plants. They'll bring it back to the hive. And then what they do is they have a stomach for that nectar.
Starting point is 00:45:21 We call it the honey crop. And then they will vomit up the nectar to another bee and another bee will take it and mix enzymes with it and then pass it to another bee. And so that's called a trophallaxis. So they basically have to add enzymes and spit it to another bee and they pass that around 10, 12 times. Is that the plot of Two Girls, One Cup? And they're referred to STBs. Wait, so that's how honey's made. It's bee vomit, basically.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Yeah, it is. And it's super clean. It's super healthy. They add these enzymes. And then when they put it in a cell, they have to fan it to dehydrate it. And when it's dehydrated, that's when they can finally cap it and it's finished.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Oh, so they fan it too? No, be honest with me, Ted. I date a vegan. I've recently given up pork myself because I – a couple of days in. But I – because pigs are very smart animals and they're treated very badly in farms and all that sort of stuff. Is there any harm done to a bee when you farm a bee? Is it cruel in any way to bee farm? No, actually, it's cruel to not take care of bees.
Starting point is 00:46:38 The problem is there's things called the varroa mite and other viruses and illnesses that will wipe out and kill entire colonies of feral bees. That's why you really don't just walk in the woods and see feral bees anymore because there's too many viruses and problems with them. And so a beekeeper can take care of them and treat their illnesses and keep them strong and healthy. So the best thing for a bee is winding up in a beekeeper's
Starting point is 00:46:58 apiary. Are you married, Ted? I am. Okay. Before you were married, did you find being a beekeeper got you stacks of pussy? Like, is there like, you know, like Farmers Only, those dating pages? Like, will you be mine, the app or something? Is there a thing like that? Will you be mine is what it's called?
Starting point is 00:47:19 Is there a community? What I mean is, is there a community of bee people do you go to bee conventions and then you're like oh there's suzy she takes care of bees good yeah no unfortunately there's not that uh there's not enough beekeepers there's not enough of us and uh and so yeah the whole social distancing thing right now is uh it's pretty common for beekeepers yeah yeah you already have the outfit ready to go don't you you? Like when they brought in quarantine, you went like, oh, if only I had the clothes. So, okay, how much honey can a bee make in its lifetime?
Starting point is 00:47:56 Jim said two cups, and then he said, oh, quarter of a jar, whatever that is. It's a big jar like this. It's one of those jars that you put a whole lot of Smarties in or M&Ms, and then people have to guess how many there are in there, and then they win the jar. A quarter of a big jar or... It's three cups.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Three cups? A quarter of a big jar or three cups. I'll go three cups. Three cups of honey per bee. Ted? No, the lifetime of work for a honeybee is actually only one twelfth of a teaspoon. Whoa. Geez, they're useless, aren't they?
Starting point is 00:48:34 Oh, I don't mind killing those things at all. No, but don't you like honey? Until they want it. Okay, so the honey. Okay, so I have had creamed honey. Why? So the honey, okay, so I have had creamed honey. Why?
Starting point is 00:48:47 Because people like honey in the same way that people like wine or different oils or whatever. I love honey. Yeah, I love honey. And then I always used to buy honey from the side of the road because this is a special honey from this district. Why do different honeys from different areas taste different? Is it the bees or is it something that you do to it? It's the nectar source.
Starting point is 00:49:04 So different areas areas bees are collecting different uh types of nectar and that's why it's a good idea to try to uh eat honey that's from your area because you're getting pollen and you're you're getting some health benefits from eating the the honey that is from that area also if you had allergies to certain pollens maybe if you ate honey from your area that might help i'm I'm not saying it would, but that's... My honey comes from Compton. Oh, does it? Okay. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:49:30 I buy whatever mass produced. Australia has very good honey. Well, New Zealand has the Manuka honey. And they say that when you're there, and that's like a thing that's been marketed as like, this is the most, has the most health benefits. But I'm not sure if that's accurate. Is creamed honey different? Creamed honey is not different creamed honey is just regular honey that's been crystallized into super small fine crystals and it makes it a creamy texture but it's just regular pure honey
Starting point is 00:49:53 and for forest questions manuka honey what's all that about uh that's i don't i don't want to make the manuka people angry but i mean a lot of it sounds good race doesn't it fucking manuka came over i thought it was a plan oh we're having a wonderful party and then the fucking manuka showed up yeah no no it's i mean a lot of that is just like a sales play i mean i don't want to make people stop eating manuka honey because honey does have a lot of health benefits and stuff. Well, I should say raw, unfiltered, unprocessed honey. If you buy just a regular jar from a store, a lot of times that's already been boiled and it's been filtered through paper. And so all the enzymes are dead. There's no more pollen in it.
Starting point is 00:50:38 You're not reaping a lot of the health benefits. Oh, really? I thought all honey was just in its natural state. So, okay, so rule of thumb, probably don't buy honey that's in a jar that's shaped like a bear. Yeah. That would be... Unless it's from a beekeeper. Like, if it's a local beekeeper, like, I sell honey that's in bears or jars and stuff like that. But it has to be from a local guy.
Starting point is 00:50:59 So in LA, I mean, I don't know what you could say, but in LA, do you know beekeepers in LA? Like, where you'd buy it? Whole Foods. But in L.A., I mean, I don't know if we could say it, but in L.A., do you know beekeepers in L.A.? Like where you'd buy it? No, well, I mean, anytime you see a guy on the side of the road, it's probably the raw stuff. You know, farmer's markets. Farmer's markets and stuff like that, too. Sometimes you get that honey that's like really like a dark brown. What's that stuff? It's like...
Starting point is 00:51:18 Yeah, yeah. It just depends on the nectar source. Some plants give off a very light colored honey. Some are a darker honey. It seems like most people prefer to buy the nectar source. Some plants give off a very light colored honey. Some are a darker honey. It seems like most people prefer to buy the lighter stuff, even though oftentimes the darker stuff might have more antioxidants. A lot of times
Starting point is 00:51:35 the darker stuff might be a little bit more healthy. It's all good for you. Is golden syrup related to honey? No, that's just shit, isn't it? No. Okay. I love that stuff. Jim said that they communicate by rubbing their feet together. To make a noise. By buzzing and they do that by rubbing their feet together.
Starting point is 00:51:52 How accurate is that? So that buzzing is from their wings. They flap their wings real fast. I thought you were going to guess that one. Sometimes if a bee flies into a lady's hair, you hear the bee buzzing real hard. And so they think that the bee is attacking them.
Starting point is 00:52:08 But actually, the bee is trying to fly away. And so they hear him. It sounds like it's very angry, but it's really just putting its wings in overdrive trying to escape. Do they more often fly into women's hair if the woman has a beehive hairstyle? If there's a lot of hairspray, yes. That's the hairspray. Okay, so that's my next question. How do you avoid getting stung if there's a lot of hairspray yes okay so that's that my next question how do you avoid getting stung because everyone this is the thing everybody fears bees because they're going to get stung so number one if they if they do sting you they die is that correct and number two how do you avoid getting stung and and why do we think i need a banana yeah yeah so so bees have a barbed stinger. So the stinger gets ripped out and they do die.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Do they enjoy the stinging? Is it like if I ejaculated and then went, oh, that was good, and then I just die? No, actually, they try their best to make sure that they don't sting. So they're very different than yellow jackets or other types of wasps because those will sting a lot quicker than a bee will. Bees try not to sting and unfortunately, people get stung by a
Starting point is 00:53:11 yellow jacket or some other type of wasp and they consider everything to be a bee. They'll say, oh no, a bee stung me. But really, it's one of those jerk yellow jackets. It's not a bee. Fucking yellow jackets. Fucking turncoats. Do they serve any purpose was wasps and those guys? Because I hate them.
Starting point is 00:53:27 Yeah, they do, unfortunately. I mean, they fight bees, and they try to... Bees and yellow jackets sometimes get in these little wars. But the yellow jackets... Sorry, what's a yellow jacket? I'm sorry. I lost it. I'm lost now.
Starting point is 00:53:42 It's another stripey, just a stripey wasp. Oh, but it's not a bee. It's kind of like the same size as a now. It's another stripy, just a stripy like a wasp. Oh, but it's not a bee. It's kind of like the same size as a bee. It has similar colors. So it's like sometimes people think there'd be that's what Ted was saying. Okay, just off point for a second. Too many insects.
Starting point is 00:53:56 The world, too many insects. We don't need them all. What do you need? This is the thing with fucking insects. When I was a kid, right, there was cockroaches, right? Cockroaches all over Sydney. They're still here.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Yeah, but in Sydney, we got tons of them. That's like a real problem in Sydney. Something to do with the water or whatever, the land or whatever. And so you'd open the kitchen door and they'd all scatter away in the middle of the night. And that was just standard. You'd find them in fucking crockery and all that stuff. They're all over the place in Sydney. Anyway, then I went back recently and I saw one of them
Starting point is 00:54:28 has just started flying. And I was like, when the fuck did they start flying? It's like they've picked up a new skill. How many times a year do you look at a bug and you go, that's a new one? I've lived on this planet for 43 years and every now and again I go, that's like a lady beetle that has longer legs. When did that one come along?
Starting point is 00:54:48 And then you go, those can't fly. Oh, that one can. Too many bugs. Too many of them. Well, they serve a purpose. You could come to my house as a bug exterminator and go, oh, you've got too many ratchet flies. And I go, oh, fuck, better get rid of those.
Starting point is 00:55:03 I don't know what a ratchet fly is. Did you make that up? Just made it up. Oh up oh yeah but you know what i mean like i said it you went oh fuck maybe i have a ratchet fly wasn't but um we're gonna take a quick break real quick and then we're gonna come back and we're gonna talk about murder hornets with ted mcfall hey what are you wearing what are you wearing i bet you it's shit because it's not mac weldon mac weldon is better than whatever you're wearing right now. Mack Weldon is a premier men's essential brand that delivers in smart design and premium fabrics.
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Starting point is 01:00:01 And we're back. Can you eat bees? What a good question, Forrest us that you asked in the break well i also wanted to find out uh how you avoid getting stung we didn't talk about that just so people can avoid that because people don't want that is there ways to do that uh yeah so i mean most of the time you're not going to get stung unless you're uh messing with the hive or you happen to step on one i mean they'll only uh they'll only sting you if they feel like they're being attacked okay so what about clothing or anything like that does that yeah yeah bees prefer uh lighter clothing so if i'm wearing like all black and i'm going into a beehive they're
Starting point is 01:00:35 gonna uh mistake me for a bear or instinctually they're gonna consider me a bear because that's that's like the enemy of bees is uh what is man what is it with bears and bees like like like is that just like honey no but is that like the main bit of their diet is honey or is that like them having fucking you know some whoppers at those movies you know what i mean like they like going oh yeah a bit of a treat over here or is that like a staple they have to have yeah well there's not enough bees for it to be a staple but bears love honey and they love the the larva the young uh the young juicy uh larva uh inside the hive so you just eat the whole comb the whole honeycomb i'll just eat it i love honeycomb have you ever had a violet crumble it's an australian dessert
Starting point is 01:01:21 where there's two of them there's the crunchy which is sort of a synthetic like honeycomb and then the violet crumble a synthetic like honeycomb. And then the violet crumble is just standard honeycomb covered in chocolate. And it's a delicious treat. That's like in its raw form made by, I want to say that one's from Nestle. And I've gone off. But anyway, I love to eat honeycomb. Now, when you have honeycomb in a thing, what is honeycomb? Is that just like a dead hive?
Starting point is 01:01:46 Does that make sense? Like a dried out hive? Is that what honeycomb is a thing what is honeycomb is that just like a dead hive does that make sense like a dried out hive is that what honeycomb is no no they have to make the honeycomb so they have a place to store uh pollen store honey and also that's where they uh lay brood now it's kind of interesting the way that they make uh honeycomb they get the wax from uh from squeezing it out of glands on their stomach i had a cyst once yeah i could have made some gym comb um all right so let's talk about murderhorns jim knows nothing about murderhornets um uh probably because he didn't go on social media that much which is a good thing but uh murderhornets what i guess they started earlier this year, it became a big thing. I remember just hearing about murder hornets. And it's if you can talk a little bit about what a murder hornet is. Yeah. So last year, right across the border here, I'm here in Washington state, the Pacific Northwest, right across from Canada.
Starting point is 01:02:37 We can hear Jim drinking, so sorry. Yeah. OK, sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. No, they found a couple Asian giant hornet nests on the other side in Canada here. And then they also discovered Asian giant hornet close by here on U.S. soil this past December. And in November, I had one of my hives that was totally slaughtered in an inexplicable way until we figured out that the Asian giant hornets were present here. In an inexplicable way until we figured out that the Asian giant hornets were present here And so basically the Asian giant hornets they showed up to one of my bee colonies and they decapitated all my bees Thousands of bees what yeah, they decapitated them the job. Yeah, I think the giant Asian ones Yeah, they're also called murder hornets is the name that we've given but they're Is upside down the women are in charge. The Asians are giants.
Starting point is 01:03:27 It's the opposite world, bees. That's how big a murder hornet is right there. Oh, yeah, yeah. They're no good. Murder hornets. And they flew over from Asia. Okay, so tell me more about murder hornets. Yeah, well, they're not sure exactly how they got here. They either came here like on a cargo ship on accident
Starting point is 01:03:49 or possibly someone smuggled them here. Because in parts of Asia, there's some areas that people like to try to eat them. There's different recipes and stuff for the Asian giant hornets since they're such a big, meaty creature. There's a TV show where people try to get into the Australian customs. You've seen that one? Uh-uh. It's people trying to get through customs in Australia
Starting point is 01:04:13 and them going through bags, because Australia has a very delicate ecosystem. So we've had the cane toad and all these things that have fucked up the ecosystem. So we're very particular about animals and different foods that can be brought in. And I tell you what, the Asians, they try to get a few foods through. There's always like, we found a snake in your bag
Starting point is 01:04:34 and that's not indigenous to Australia. And we were wondering where you had that snake and the Asian bloke's always like this, what, a snake you say? I reckon they were smuggled in i reckon they were smuggled in because you know look the wet markets they like eating everything that's not a bad thing to say is it there's a lot of weird things being eaten it's fine there's a picture of all your bees that were decapitated too that's terrible all right let's see this wow it just looks like a picture of all your bees that were decapitated, too. That's terrible. All right, let's see these. Wow, it just looks like a bunch of dead bees. They lost their heads.
Starting point is 01:05:07 It's a whole lot of dead bees. So do they do that for any reason, or are they just dickheads, murder hornets? Yeah, no, what they do is they'll spit on a hive, and then that'll alert their... Spit? Disrespectful? Spit on it? You spit on me. And then that alerts the other Asian giant hornets on what the target is.
Starting point is 01:05:27 When they spit on the hive, do some of the more adventurous bees get off on it? Yeah. So, yeah. That's when they show up and they just start beheading bees. And all it takes is
Starting point is 01:05:41 very few Asian giant hornets, only like five or ten of them, to show up and slaughter an entire colony of 60,000 bees and so how attached are you to be like? I mean, I'm assuming you take care of them. So this is really sad. Oh, yeah, totally totally Have you ever had a bit how many bees have you owned in your life? Oh Millions means have you ever had one that was really special that you'd like to tell us about Well,, sometimes we have queens. We name the queens.
Starting point is 01:06:08 We don't name just the regular workers. Give me some queen names that you've got. I've got a few good queen names. My queen name would be Estad. You're talking about as a drag queen. Yeah, the drag queen bees. Is there any drag queen bees? Yeah, the queen bees. So what's there any drag queen bees? Yeah. The queen bees.
Starting point is 01:06:25 Okay. But like, like, so what's some of your queen names that you've had? Well, our, our favorite one, the one that we're using for grafting this year,
Starting point is 01:06:32 which is producing more Queens. Her name is a queen. Elizabeth. That's a bit of, let's see what you did. That's a bit of fun. And, and so do we have to do, That's a bit of fun. Let's see what you did there. That's a bit of fun. That's a bit of fun. And so do we have to... Hey, wait a minute.
Starting point is 01:06:50 You've been taking care of bees for fucking 30 years and that's the first time you came up with that thing? You went through... Like Queen Elizabeth has been around forever and you looked at all the queen bees and we'll go, we'll call that one Sarah. I can't think of a pun for that one um do we have to worry about murder hornets humans uh yes well so so the big threat
Starting point is 01:07:15 uh for the united states right now and actually for all of north america is uh is if this asian giant hornet gets out um so we know that uh there are at least a couple of colonies here in the Pacific Northwest that are here. And so the trick is going to be to find them before they throw off more queens and they spread. If it spreads, then we're going to have colony loss. We're going to have bee loss throughout the entire of North America. So the Department of Agriculture is taking it very seriously and they're sending trappers up here. And everyone's trying real hard to eradicate the Asian giant hornet. They don't target people.
Starting point is 01:07:54 I mean, they will sting people if you happen to come too close to one of their nests. They're ground-dwelling. So if you're walking in the woods and you happen to come too close to one of their nests and they attack you, you're going to find yourself in big trouble. Will they decapitate us? Now, was I right in saying that if the bees die, we die? That's what I've heard. Like the bees are very important for human life. Yeah, so supposedly Albert Einstein said humans will die four years after the bees die.
Starting point is 01:08:27 That's probably not true because we could sustain ourselves on things like corn and certain things that don't have to be pollinated. It's going to be a very limited diet. A lot of the things that keep us healthy, we rely for bees. I mean, like berries, we need bees. Nuts, lots of vegetables and things. I mean, we're going to lose a lot. Actually, even meat and livestock. Bees pollinate clover. They pollinate alfalfa, which the livestock eat.
Starting point is 01:08:46 So bees are super duper important for our society. But what you're saying is we'll still have corn. Everything will be fine. Everything will be corn based. The American diet will not change. Alright. Alright, so there's a couple
Starting point is 01:09:02 little facts here I want to just go through and then we're going to get to our dinner party fact at the end here. Wouldn't Albert Einstein be an annoying cunt to have at a party? Like, he'd just be hanging out, and I believe that four years later after the bees, we're going to die. Why does he talk like that? Because he's smart. And then he's German, wasn't he?
Starting point is 01:09:25 And he goes, and then someone would come in, and they'd go, what's your name? And he'd go, hi, my name's Adam. And he goes, Atom. I have something to tell you. No, Adam. Ah, the Atom. And then he'd waffle on for fucking ever.
Starting point is 01:09:37 What a pain in the ass that guy was. Have you seen the picture of me sticking my tongue out? Quite humorous. Fucking Einstein. All right, these are bee facts that I got from the internet. They may or may not be right, so if they're wrong, you can correct me, but I'm going to ask you a question. I'll correct her.
Starting point is 01:09:55 Okay, how many flowers must honeybees gather nectar from to make one pound of honey? Oh, one pound. They only make a quarter of a teaspoon in their whole lifetime. A twelfth of a teaspoon? A twelfth of a teaspoon. That is a quarter. Okay.
Starting point is 01:10:12 No, it's not. It's not even close. It's a twelfth. It's not a quarter. I think you'll find if a teaspoon is 48 and they're getting 12 of it, that would be a quarter. A quarter of what what i don't know i'm making it anyway so so uh um okay so so okay so how much how much one pound of honey how many
Starting point is 01:10:34 flowers do they have to get net gather nectar from oh uh a thousand it says two million flowers i don't know if you know this off the top of your head, but yeah, that's 2 million. Well, that's ridiculous. This is what I've always thought about the world, right? We're destroying it. Fine, right? We need trees to get oxygen and all that type of stuff. We need flowers to get the honey to feed the livestock with the alfalfa and thus forth so we can have meat, right? Now we need 2 million flowers pollinated so as to get a little a
Starting point is 01:11:07 jar of fucking honey right this is what i don't get world's designed badly fucking design badly when i was a kid they kept on going oh we need more trees we're out of trees everywhere i go everywhere i go there's fucking trees everywhere you can't fucking you can't this part of this world you can't walk around too many fucking trees it's a bad design each city needs should have like four trees and we should build
Starting point is 01:11:31 around that and that should be all the oxygen too many trees too many trees too much water on the earth and not enough land
Starting point is 01:11:37 for all the people you should write a letter to management you should opposite it should be the amount of water should be the amount of land
Starting point is 01:11:44 and then the amount of land should be the amount of water. Yeah. Right? That would be better. We could fit more people in, less trees. They're getting in the way. When I was a kid, they used to go, every day the Amazon loses a football field's worth of trees
Starting point is 01:12:00 or every minute or every hour. They used to give this statistic. I'm calling bullshit because the Amazon's still there. They must be out of it by now. That was 40 years ago they were telling me that. And every day we're losing a football field. I know it's big. It's huge.
Starting point is 01:12:17 Can't be that fucking big. Every fucking day. Are you sure you're not a conspiracy theorist? You have all the makings. I just think the trees have come back. Okay. I feel like we've lost a bit of it. Next question.
Starting point is 01:12:29 Next honey question. How long does honey stay good? How long will it last? I think honey lasts a very long time. How long? I think it's a thing that you don't even have to refrigerate real honey. A couple of years. All right.
Starting point is 01:12:43 Ted, I think you told me it never goes bad, correct? Is that? Correct. Correct. It'll never spoil. So long as it's like sealed and not exposed to oxygen and moisture in the air, it's good forever. Because then they find something like a tomb in Egypt and then somebody like melted it and ate it or something. Is that right?
Starting point is 01:13:02 Absolutely. Yep. Yeah. Out of the tomb of King Tut. That's right. A lot of tombs had the had honey that's still totally edible king tut honey man it is surprising to me that people like go explore things and they're like oh let me just taste this it's been in a pyramid for how many thousands or whatever years and it's like let's melt this and see what this tastes like put it on a taco
Starting point is 01:13:24 yeah i never saw that that in indiana jones yeah indiana jones and the adventure of the honey okay a couple more questions here um how so they make the buzz sound by their wings we determine that how fast how many times per minute do their wings beat how many times a minute do their wings beat yeah i'm just counting it. Are we doing this for me to do a minute? I get what I'll do is ten seconds. I'll do ten seconds. I'm basically. OK. Ten thousand.
Starting point is 01:14:00 That's pretty close. 11,400. Is that guys? Is that the right now? It's Adam again pulling this up there and it's. 11,400. Is that the right number? Again, I'm pulling this off the internet. 11,400. That's pretty good. You're a good counter. I'm good with me maths. Okay. And then here, your last one.
Starting point is 01:14:16 Once a bee finds a good source of nectar, how does it tell the other bees about it? They don't. It keeps it to itself. You're right. Very selfish. That's why they only make one sloth a season. They walk in and go, oh, gosh.
Starting point is 01:14:33 And then they go back to the hive like this. Are you finding your neck there today? No. I'll have to go out and look for it for about six hours tomorrow. And I'll be doing that by myself i won't need anyone i'm onto a few good leads um this we did talk about but this and here it says honeybees communicate with one another by dancing and when they tell someone when they want to tell their bees about the nectar it's a waggle dance is that right ted yeah that's right it's like a little shake and uh and
Starting point is 01:15:02 they they tell the bees like what direction to go and how far to go. Yeah. And they communicate all that in a pitch black, pitch black hive. You put your stinger in, you put your stinger in, you put your stinger in and you waggle it about. All right. OK, Ted, thank you for all the information. But before we leave with you, we want to have what we call a dinner party fact and this is something that we can give our listeners at home uh or in their car wherever they're uh so that they can uh pretend to know that they know a lot about bees so something obscure or it's just a quick thing please write to us if this case is anyone fucking do this at
Starting point is 01:15:41 the moment is anyone at home you better at home fucking in like mid-stroke and then I did the hokey pokey waggle thing and you stopped for a little bit to have a little chuckle and then you went back to it? Someone must have sex to podcast. So just a fact, any fact that you have about bees that you think people won't know about that is interesting that they can use at a bar or dinner party or something like that just impress other people i would say uh bees can be used to
Starting point is 01:16:11 detect explosives and uh bodies and uh narcotics so maybe that's why all the dead bees are in your pool too i think we have a new tv show bee. What does a homeless woman use for a vibrator? You've heard that joke? A whole lot of bees in a Coke bottle. Jesus Christ. That's a rough one. They can use them to detect drugs and explosives. How do you wrangle a bee to do that?
Starting point is 01:16:39 How does that... How long does a bee live? We never answered that question. How long does a bee live? We never answered that question. How long does a bee live? In the summertime, around six weeks. In the wintertime, it can be up to six months. Right, right. So in summertime, there's a five-week-old bee
Starting point is 01:16:54 looking for a bomb, going, oh, I'm too old for this shit. Where's the coke at? So yeah, if you train bees in the last six weeks, what's the benefit of training a bee yeah yeah that's why that's why it hasn't been uh you know we're not using it yet i guess because uh yeah i mean you train a dog and you have them for many years a bee is laying back good for a matter of weeks plus you can't uh so so what they were doing is they were putting bees in like a straw
Starting point is 01:17:21 and they would uh expose them to a smell and then, uh, feed them afterwards with sugar water. So, um, the thing is, uh, they would bring them, you could bring them around in the straw and if they would smell it in the air, they would stick out their proboscis, which is a, like a tongue. And, uh, so, cause they were ready to, uh, ready to take the sugar water. And, um, and so you can train the bees to do that, but I mean, like you said, it's a very limited amount of time for the bees life so you train them and you only get a few weeks out of them I just looked it up it's called hymenoptera training
Starting point is 01:17:52 so I guess the bees hymenoptera and then they're called sniffer bees or sniffer wasps fucking narcs yeah man what do you bring the bees yeah no i was gonna say yes so it was one of my uh professors there at the university of montana uh uh dr jerry bromancheck that was one of the pioneers in that but he did it he was doing it
Starting point is 01:18:16 by uh by releasing the bees yeah like so he would train them in the hive what to smell for and then he would release them and they would fly around outside and so that uh they found that they could uh the bees would would uh hover around areas where uh so if they were trying to teach them to find a body they would hover around the area like where the body was buried in the ground and so uh yeah or they also found uh like meth houses and stuff like that oh cool that's it so you just follow the bees to fun you'd also bring them to a party what do you got bees nothing i'm just gonna set them in your them to a party. What do you got, bees? Nothing. I'm just going to set them in your bedroom, see where the weed is.
Starting point is 01:18:52 Do you still use that metal thing with the handle where you go poof, poof, poof? Is it just smoke? I don't know, Ted. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just smoke. You can use any type of a straw or a burlap. You can put anything in there. Yeah, but the smoke hides the pheromone.
Starting point is 01:19:03 So you know how we were talking about that banana smell or the emergency pheromone? Well, you puff that smoke around, and then they don't realize that there's a problem. That calms everyone down, and they don't smell the alarm pheromone. What's the deal with carpenter bees? Yeah, so that's one of the type of native bees.
Starting point is 01:19:21 They don't make honey, so no one really raises those. What's the deal with that? What's the deal with carpenter bees? They don't make honey, so no one really raises those. What's the deal with that? What's the deal with carpenter bees? They don't make honey. They don't build tables. What are they? Well, there you go. There's drug-sniffing bees.
Starting point is 01:19:35 That's your dinner party fact. Ted, thank you very much for being on I Don't Know About That podcast. Ted, do you ship your honey, or can you only purchase it when you're at your APA? We generally just sell it locally here.
Starting point is 01:19:51 Kelly's trying to get some free honey. I would buy it, but he said it comes in a bear jar. I have an idea for you. Ship station. If you want to ship your honey at a very low price and get competitive rates shipstation.com make ship happen one of our sponsors ted so um also also do you have harry balls there man scape man scape i don't know what you're thinking but I don't get erections what's the point just leave it hairy
Starting point is 01:20:26 I've got blue chew take a blue chew manscape and then ship it to somewhere hopefully those match up with this episode and cryo freeze if you hurt yourself okay was that right
Starting point is 01:20:44 yeah it was right that's the first time I said it right Ted you can stick around for this if you hurt yourself yeah okay was that right yeah that's the first time I said it right so what we're gonna do Ted you can stick around for this if you want we have one more segment called if you want to listen
Starting point is 01:20:51 to this podcast later rake on earbuds I could not suggest a better earbud but thank you for being here is there anything a modium
Starting point is 01:21:01 I mean a lot of times we have fantastic stuff a lot of times we have. Fantastic stuff. A lot of times we have people that have written a book. Cousin's main lobster. They don't pay me any money. I just, wonderful product.
Starting point is 01:21:13 A lot of times people have something they want to promote, but I mean, I don't know if you want to promote anything or if you want to just tell people anything about bees or you want to say goodbye in a certain way, but that's, yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, I really don't have anything to promote, but I mean, I am appreciative of you guys putting the story out on the bees because bees are detrimental to our survival and to our way of life, and so a lot of people don't pay attention to them or don't notice
Starting point is 01:21:40 them, but if they're not here anymore, we would definitely notice them. Don't you mean they're vital to our survival? You said detrimental. Oh, yeah yeah i'm sorry my bad yeah all right yeah yeah it would be detrimental to our survival if anything happened to that for a second there i was like wait a second i thought ted was just gonna like just lose like i've been keeping this secret for years they're useless the honey is just syrup that we make out of a jar it's mostly made of corn. To answer the question, I think everybody's been wondering, is that a tiny flag in a giant room or is it a regular-sized flag?
Starting point is 01:22:13 Yeah, that's actually just a tiny flag. My daughter stuck that up there. She must be tall. Is your daughter 16 foot tall? How did she do that? There's a couch underneath it. Yeah, it's just the angle does your dad ever get into you like like because he he's been beekeeping for so long when you started beekeeping did he
Starting point is 01:22:30 ever walk around and tut like it's not how you're fucking beekeeping all the time you call that beekeeping back in my day yeah no no he still does that yeah yeah what did you call elizabeth's fucking stupid we used to call them one two and three uh ted actually stick around because we're gonna get a picture with you and jim with him on the zoom but with you on the zoom um but so our last segment is i do know about that and this is the part where we asked jim three questions about a subject he says he does know about to see if he in fact does know about it and i know you're gonna think this is a repeat but we've never actually recorded this but we asked different questions this time so today's today is pinball pinball yeah there has to be a trick so here's your three questions jim says he
Starting point is 01:23:20 knows a lot about pinball what is the only League Baseball team to appear as a title to a pinball machine? Oh, that'd be the Yankees. Here's a hint. I'm raising my eyebrows. No, it's not the Yankees. Kelly and the Gangbangs? Yeah. It's the Chicago Cubs.
Starting point is 01:23:40 Chicago Cubs. It's called the Chicago Cubs triple play. Oh, wow. And that was like you could just never win you didn't win the world series
Starting point is 01:23:48 yeah no but when the pinball machine came out there's no way of winning you'll get close the whole time and get frustrated
Starting point is 01:23:52 that was the only way that the Chicago Cubs did win it was through the pinball yeah yeah there was like there was a bit of ivy at the back of the pinball machine
Starting point is 01:23:58 where the ball just got stuck what pinball machine was featured in the TV series Happy Days oh fuck I don't know we already asked you other questions yeah uh what pinball machine and fonzie would hit it and go yo i was talking to a friend about this fonzie's the least cool person in in
Starting point is 01:24:18 tv history how they sold that man is cool is beyond me. He lived in a studio apartment above a residential home in Milwaukee. He was about 30 years old. He hung out with teenagers and tried to bang 15-year-olds, and his office was a toilet. And we were like, I would love to be that man. He had a cool catchphrase. He hanged out in a milk bar could you imagine a guy in his 30 with a leather jacket hanging out a milk bar going up to the jukebox
Starting point is 01:24:49 and going and like someone's oh this thing won't work hey i'll make it work hey and you'd go uh kids just step step away don't don't hang out with that guy. He's fucking nuts. Oh, I'm going to ride my motorcycle around the car park and jump over things. Whee! So the answer is it was a... The name of the pinball machine. Okay. I'm trying to think of the era.
Starting point is 01:25:14 It would have been one of the ones with the card game ones. So I'm going to say it would be like Blackjack or something like that. Nippet. Nippet. What the hell is Nippet? Never heard of it. Never heard of it. And then this last one is a variation. Maybe it used to be in a bar called the bud nip it in the bud you see yep yep uh nip it i don't know it says nip it was i don't know
Starting point is 01:25:40 it's from the 1950s it was probably a lynching theme type of thing. I'm sure Nippet wasn't the most wholesome. Okay. And the last question is, this is a variation on one. So what are the three highest, not just the highest, production games in modern pinball history? Okay. So the number one is The Addams Family.
Starting point is 01:25:58 Correct. Number two, I'm going to go Mars Attacks. No. The number two and three are almost the same thing Adam's Family I don't know but number two and three are almost the exact same names
Starting point is 01:26:13 except for one word They are the exact same names except for one word Twilight Zone No Medieval Madness No It's 8 Ball
Starting point is 01:26:22 and 8 Ball Deluxe Oh, I don't know Yeah, I don't even know what that is Why would there be two 8 Balls? I don't know yeah I don't know what that is why would there be two 8 balls I don't know because one's deluxe one's like number two
Starting point is 01:26:29 I was looking at because I'm getting a new pinball machine at the moment I was looking at this store and one of them had lethal weapon 3
Starting point is 01:26:34 yeah why don't you just make a lethal weapon machine and lethal weapon 3 I think that you knew a lot about pinball we just had to
Starting point is 01:26:41 throw some yeah but that's you'd have to yeah you didn't know what the first one with the flippers was i know you know that yeah yeah i know all that what is it the first one with the flippers was um was umpty dumpty that's correct okay we'll get the flippers were facing the opposite we'll give you two out of three all right that's the show for today i don't know about that podcast please follow
Starting point is 01:26:59 um us on instagram at IDKAT podcast. Come and see me in Vegas. If I'm going to do a show because the ticket, these shows originally were almost sold out. Yeah. And then they got canceled
Starting point is 01:27:14 and the shows all got refunded. And now the ticket sales are, I'm not going to lie to you, they're moving slowly. Yeah. Because of the COVID because people think, and I don't know,
Starting point is 01:27:23 I don't know how many people are going to allow into the theater. There might be a reduced number and I don't know how many people they're going to allow into the theater. There might be a reduced number. I don't know what it is. But I plan on being there and telling jokes to somebody, maybe that lady at the blackjack table. Just be us backstage. Also, go to Jim's website, jimjeffries.com,
Starting point is 01:27:39 for all that information. And for the podcast, you can subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify. Also, YouTube. Look for us on YouTube. Please watch us there. And the podcast, you can subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, also YouTube. Look for us on YouTube. Please watch us there. And the podcast is growing. I feel like Bees will be a huge hit. Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 01:27:53 I love this episode. It will be a rating success. People will be like, finally. Yeah. Finally, someone's talking about it. We did Cheese, too. Cheese was a success. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:02 People love Cheese. Next week is Trees. We're only doing rhyming podcasts from now love cheese next week is trees um we're only doing only doing rhyming podcast next next week is sandals with our expert joe all right all right ladies and gentlemen thank you for listening to the podcast uh if you're at a party someone says something that you don't know the answer to this is how you win the fight you go well i don't know about that and you walk away good night australia all right hey everybody jason ellis here from the jason ellis show podcast reminding you that my podcast new episodes every wed, downloadable where
Starting point is 01:28:46 all podcasts are available. Come see my friends, Michael and Kevin, as we talk to you about what's awesome, what sucks, fitness, fighting, parenting, life, spin kicks, LGBTQ community, how to defend yourself against a shark if it attacks you out of nowhere, and much, much more. So come join us.

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