I Don't Know About That - Birds
Episode Date: April 6, 2021In this episode, the team discusses birds with professional photographer and bird identification expert, Scott Whittle. Go to www.ScottWhittle.com to keep up with Scott or go to www.TerraListens.com t...o get updates on Project Terra.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
earth wind fire are they elements or a band or both you might find out and i don't know about
that with jim jeffries my voice is getting creepier and lower as we go along in episode 197 everyone we've done 197
and that's crazy i haven't been carrying count but we've done a lot of these we've talked about
almost everything you think we're out of subjects well we might be i don't know what the new subject
is going to be forest uh just told me before we got in the air that he i thought he had a heart
attack the other day do you want you want to open up about that?
Good segue.
Yeah.
No, first of all, I said my chest was hurting because we played golf,
and the day after I played golf, my chest hurts.
I'm like, well, I guess I'm having a heart attack all day again,
which I'm not.
But, you know, I'm older.
I'm out of shape.
I haven't taken care of my body throughout time.
So I periodically think I'm probably having a heart attack and I'm not at all.
And then I've had a couple panic attacks episodes over the years where I thought I was.
And that happened about maybe a month ago.
And I was like, oh, that was Bianca.
And I said, maybe we should call 911.
I think I'm having a heart attack.
And she's like, really?
That freaked her out.
And then they show up.
Fire rescue shows up. Yeah. By the then they show up. Fire rescue shows up.
Yeah.
By the time they showed up.
Forrest was up a tree.
By the time they showed up, like at least two or three minutes before they showed up, I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
I figure out what it is, but they're on the way.
And there comes the fire truck at 10 o'clock at night.
And a bunch of guys come in.
And then I'm just like, yeah, I'm feeling okay.
They hook up everything to you and you're just like, yeah, they're not
going to find everything. And then basically the guy's
like, you're doing great. I mean, you couldn't
be healthier. That's what the guy told me. I was like,
well, I wouldn't go that far.
But I'm
sure they know that I know that
I'm fine and they know what's going on, you know,
but they're just trying to be professional. I feel like you guys accidentally just called
fire people strippers and they're like, you're great. You're in going on, you know, but they're just trying to be professional. I feel like you guys accidentally just called fire, fire people strippers.
And they're like,
you're great.
You're,
you're in great shape.
All of a sudden they're taking their clothes off.
You couldn't be healthier.
I don't know if these people are professionals.
Yeah.
That's why I think they're strippers.
Yeah.
Like that's an American fire truck.
If ever I've heard one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had a doctor tell me that two years ago,
he goes,
I'm paper.
You look like you're 18 years old.
And I said,
well,
I'm person.
It looks like he ate a lot of mayonnaise.
Oh, I once had a doctor at the height of my substance abuse say to me after a physical,
whatever you're doing, keep doing it.
So what happens when fire rescue comes is like, well, we can take you to the hospital,
but that's like when the charges start, you know, kind of thing.
And I was like, no, I think think i'm okay would you never say if you
think you had a heart attack and they left and it was embarrassing well i live literally actually
had a heart attack i literally live next door to like there's like a bodega's corner store and
then there's like this taco kind of restaurant yeah Yeah, yeah. They come there. The crime scene, as we call it.
Yeah.
These fire guys come all the time to that taco place.
Because people are having heart attacks out there.
Yeah, they park the fire truck out front, and I can see it,
and then I can see the guys that I know, and I walk out,
and I'm just like, ugh.
And I'm sure they're like, there's the guy.
How you feeling, athlete?
It's, like, embarrassing.
I don't even leave the house when I see a firetruck.
So what do you got for us, Jack?
Comment world.
All right.
Comment world, it's comment world.
Jack, don't proofread in comment world.
Comment world, insults are hurled.
Whether at
Forrest or that other
girl. And jibble shit
on you if you're getting to me.
Let's all play nice.
Let's keep it PC.
Comment World.
Comment World.
My star's only
in Comment World.
Jeez, that was long.
Wait, there's a couple guys in there, huh?
That's a new one?
That's Kyle Mocha.
That's from the Presidents of the United States.
Remember that band that used to just sing about peaches
and think that was enough?
Yeah.
And what?
Ah, yeah, we'll go a lump.
She's in my head.
Yeah, and then we'll do another one about cats going meow.
And then we'll do a song about dune buggies.
Hell yeah.
They were good.
Yeah?
We listened to them all the time when we lived in Canada.
It felt like rebellion.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
What?
You lived in Canada?
Every time it's like peeling off an onion.
You already knew that.
You lived in Canada.
Yeah.
You would have done all right in Canada.
You would have been like the most cluey person there.
The most what person? No, I'm just teasing Canadians. We did have a lot of sex. You would have been like the most cluey person there. The most what person?
No, I'm just teasing Canadians.
We did have a lot of sex.
You had a lot of sex?
No, that's not what Jim was saying.
Oh, I know.
Like smartest person.
No, no, no.
I didn't know what that meant, but I was just transitioning.
I like Canadians.
You said cluey?
Yeah, cluey.
Never heard that.
Well, there you go.
You've learned one.
Give us a comment.
But what does that mean though?
Cluey just means smart.
It means you're on the ball.
That's true.
We have a five-star review titled,
Saved My Marriage.
My marriage is failing miserably,
but IDCAT keeps me going, so thanks.
For letting me leave to do the podcast once a week
is really helpful.
Wait a second.
They don't explain how it saved their marriage?
Marriage is falling apart,
but the podcast keeps it together.
I guess it keeps them happy.
That comment came from Japan.
Oh, really?
International.
This five-star review only says
binoculars.
From the UK, I guess they want us to do an episode
on binoculars.
Maybe they're like, I can see you.
Yeah, it could be creepier.
Yeah.
Easiest podcast
to listen to, Stone, because things are
always more funny, Stone. Five stars.
Yeah, we are good if you're Stone or Mushrooms.
We're a very good podcast.
Very good podcast
if you're on those tracks. If you're fucked up in any way,
this is a great podcast for you.
If you're not fucked up, go listen to a real
podcast
where comedians are talking to each other
about comedy all day.
It's all podcast.
Do you do comedy?
I do comedy as well.
How do you write your comedy?
The same way you write your comedy.
Do you ever have problems getting on stage?
Well, sometimes when I'm on stage, I think about it.
And then I have this other thing that happened to me whilst on stage,
podcasting.
Sounds fun.
This guy says, I love the show
and I've listened to every episode at least once.
Five stars.
I work on a farm
and I think y'all should do an episode on agriculture
or fruit production or chickens or big peepees, whatever.
It's a broad topic.
Fun fact, there's a fruit tree called the pawpaw
and it's native to Pennsylvania.
It tastes like a banana and mango mixed together, but also has big black seeds throughout the fruit i'm not sure what
the big black seeds have to do with anything but sounds like an interesting combo it could be a
fruit that grows really readily in australia that we eat on the regular pawpaw ointment is something
that we all put on our skin it's not rare to an australian at all it's like it's like going to an
american hey there's something called corn.
That was just like a fact.
That wasn't really a fun fact.
Yeah, he's a fun fact.
There's a plant.
Have you heard about the pineapple?
It's sweeter than it looks.
It looks aggressive, but it's a sweet fruit.
So we only get five-star reviews?
Yep.
Thanks, everybody.
That's pretty good.
Pretty much.
It's amazing.
That's good. Or at least Apple doesn't send us the non-five-star,? Yep. Thanks, everybody. That's pretty good. Pretty much. That's amazing. That's good.
Or at least Apple doesn't send us the non-five-stars,
so we might be blinded.
You don't get read out if you're not five-stars.
No, I get all of those emails that I forward to you.
I get every single review.
All right.
Help us out with a five-star review if you haven't.
It helps with the something or other.
Yeah, we learn from Mike.
It helps with the algorithm.
We're the 160th most popular podcast in the world.
That's pretty exciting.
Yeah, worldwide for all podcasts.
We're in the 1% finally.
Oh, yeah.
We're a 1%er.
We're a 1%er.
Can you imagine how shoddily put together those other shows are?
There's meant to be tens of thousands of podcasts,
and this one's in the top 1%.
Get the fuck out of here.
People loved Wayne's dinner party fact.
Everyone was saying it's the best one.
It's true.
At least the people who commented.
Someone said that flugelbinders are actually called aglets.
Yeah, that's probably right.
I looked it up.
It's in the dictionary.
All right.
Good, Jack.
Good.
This is what I pay him for.
Comment. All right. And that's all you got? No, I got more. Okay. it's in the dictionary alright good Jack good this is what I pay him for comment
alright
and that's all you got
no I got more
okay
you should probably
say them out loud then
well
you guys were still talking
maybe we cut you off
you were just in your head
going
this is a comment
this is also a good comment
that was good
I'm glad I saved this one
four stars
not reading that
someone says
you say
moon like mewn forest.
That I say moon like mewn?
Yeah, or he spelled it M-E-W-N is how you pronounce it.
Moon, moon.
I say moon.
Moon?
What episode was I saying moon?
I guess you said it on autism for some reason.
I don't know why you brought up the moon and autism.
I was going to say the moon landing.
Autism makes sense. I think it would have been moon landing or aliens.
Wait, in the autism episode, I was saying moon?
Yeah.
At the one minute and 17 second mark, you said moon.
I might have said moon, like just for fun.
No, no. I said moon.
Well, the person goes, there it is again.
Oh, I was saying moon, like moon.
On the autistic episode, you went,
I'm an autistic person who could count the moon really quickly. That's a moon. Ah, okay. same moon like Mew. On the autistic episode you went I'm an autistic person who could
count the moon
really quickly.
That's amazing.
There is like
one moon.
Someone says
I look like an
unsuccessful Dave Grohl.
Oh, that's not true.
You don't look like
Dave Grohl at all.
Yeah, I know.
If you looked like
Dave Grohl
you'd still just
look like Dave Grohl.
You'd still look like
an unsuccessful Dave Grohl.
You look like Dave Grohl's body double in like an action film like Dave Grohl. You look like an unsuccessful Dave Grohl. You look like Dave Grohl's
body double in an
action film, if Dave Grohl was ever in
an action film.
If you ordered Dave Grohl
off of Wish.
You look like
if Dave Grohl was in a Russian
doll, you're the shell above.
Everyone is coming more into the final human above. Everyone is like coming
more into the final human form.
You look like if you
bought like a skin of Dave Grohl and you
put it over someone else's body.
Like a person with a bigger, fatter
head's body. Okay, next.
You look like
Dave Grohl if someone had a Halloween
mask of Dave Grohl and they stretched it out.
Okay, next.
Hey, one time I was at a concert and I used the port-a-body after Dave Grohl and he had
taken a shit and that's what you look like.
Okay, next comment.
Why do all Australians sound like they're drunk?
Well, there's theories on this.
Part of it's because I have been drunk in situations
and then sometimes I show up sober to things
or like I'm sober now and people just go like,
I'll finish a show, I'll be stone sober.
Then afterwards there'll be a comment going,
he was so drunk up there.
And I'm just like, no, I don't know what it is.
It's a Cockney accent that's extremely working class
that's been put into a different country. I don't know.
And then also the alcohol.
Yeah. It's like G'day comes from good day.
Good day, young man. Good day, good day, good day.
And then we just got the criminals and moved them.
G'day, G'day.
So it is, yeah. Drunk Cockneys. That's the Australian G'day! So it is. Yeah, drunk cockneys.
That's the Australian accent.
We have some fact checking.
You look like if Dave Grohl was a virgin.
I'm just kidding.
I just wanted to go back to it.
No, I get that.
That was clear.
Some fact checking.
Wayne Gretzky didn't leave Edmonton.
He was traded.
Calm down, Dave.
It's just a joke.
He even cried during
his final press conference, someone said.
I did some research.
It was tears of happiness.
Tears of happiness.
On August 9th, 1988,
the Oilers, just two months,
actually, I'll leave that
at the end. They traded Gretzky,
Marty McSorley,
and Mike Krushelinski to the Kings
in exchange for Jimmy Carson and Martin Galinas,
who I think were their first round draft picks.
And so they did the trade, and everyone was like, this is crazy.
I can't believe they did this.
You're getting rid of some of the best players ever.
But then the Oilers won the Stanley Cup that year.
You look like if Dave Grohl spent too much time researching that.
Okay, well, okay.
Kelly, someone's really mad
because you scoffed
at someone being 5'5",
so they're asking
what's your deal
with short guys?
I scoffed at somebody
being 5'5"?
You look like Dave Grohl
if he was a candle
in Toppwood.
You don't actually look
like Dave Grohl at all.
That was my opening joke when we were in Phoenix.
What?
That you looked like Dave Grohl?
A little bit.
No, you don't.
I don't know if you guys listen to this.
Anyway, I'm 6'2", so 5'5 just seems very short to me.
I don't have a problem with people that are shorter.
You look like Dave Grohl if Dave Grohl's dad was trying to get a ring to Mordor.
All right, I don't have any more comments.
That's it for Comment World?
Comment World's over.
All right, well, I guess we'll just read some ads.
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All right.
Now let's welcome our guest to the show.
Please welcome Scott Whittle. G'day, let's welcome our guest to the show. Please welcome Scott Whittle.
G'day, Scott.
Thanks for being on the show.
Hi, Jim.
Thanks so much for having me, you guys.
That's okay.
We're now going to play.
Yes, no.
Yes, no.
Yes, no.
Yes, no.
Judging a book by its cover.
All right, so we're going to, I reckon I know what Scott does already.
Yeah, but you've got to ask him questions.
Okay.
He's an expert in cats.
He's got two cats behind him.
No.
Oh, well, that would be good.
I like cats.
We should do an episode on cats.
We'll write that down.
Look at age, you know.
Enjoy the cats.
You're not an expert on that, are you?
Let me think. Okay. Your room is very nondescript. Scott, you're not an expert on that um let me think okay your room is very nondescript
um scott do you you're american correct correct correct all right so he's not an expert on
australian history all right because i know that's going to come up one day and i've got to be ready
to go it could be american the person yeah they don't know anything about australia australia
american australian history goes yahoo serious, Paul Hogan the end.
I will go.
Okay.
Are you a lecturer?
I have given lectures, but I don't do it regularly.
Okay.
Is it about the human body?
No.
Oh, is it about the human mind?
No, not really.
Is it about an activity that humans do on the regular yes okay
all right right well sort yeah now that'll throw you though walking
the actual subject that we're gonna say is nothing isn't a human at all oh isn't a human at all it
might be a word that you call a human. Yeah. Oh. That's a good hint
actually. It's a real good hint.
So we're doing one on shit.
On little shit.
I've got a single hint in my picture
actually in my background.
Oh, here we go. Pillows.
Beds. Fat cats.
Oh.
The top 1%. The fat cats. Oh, the top 1%.
The fat cats.
That's not nice.
That's his cat.
No, he knows the cat.
I spoke before he came on.
I said, oh, you got a big cat there.
He goes, yeah, that's a big cat.
That's a big cat.
That cat looks like it's eating the other cats.
That one.
It's an animal, and it's like she said.
Cats could eat them. Birds. Yeah. Birds. We're about birds. Birds. I, I'm, it's an animal and it's like, like she said, cats could be,
could eat them.
Birds.
Yeah.
Birds. Birds.
Oh yeah.
I know a bit about birds,
man.
Not the girls.
Yeah.
I've met a few birds in me.
All right.
Scott Whittle is a bird expert and author as well as a professional photographer.
He lives and works in Cape May,
New Jersey.
One of the best birding hotspots in the United States.
He is the co-author of the critically acclaimed Warbler Guide and Warbler Guide app.
He is currently collaborating on Project Terra, which uses technology to bring people closer to nature while helping conserve wildlife.
You can find all this information and more at scottwiddle.com.
That's S-C-O-T-T-W-H-i-t-t-l-e.com and you can find the
warbler guide on amazon and scott why don't you tell us a little bit more about yourself or the
terror project or whatever you want to want to talk about sure i mean that sums it up pretty
well but i'm a i'm a bird identification expert i'm not an ornithologist but i know a lot about
birds and i teach people how to identify birds and teach people how to take pictures of birds.
And we're currently working actually on another guidebook for all the birds in North America.
So I write and work on apps.
And we also have this project that I'm working on called the Terra Project, which is a device
you put in your yard that lets you listen to your backyard, but it also records sounds that get uploaded to the internet.
And then those sounds get used to track bird migration.
Oh, wow. How can you be a cat lover and a bird lover? They're the enemy of each other.
I'm very, I'm a rare breed. I don't think they have to conflict, but some people do.
I had cats growing up and the cats used to bring in like native birds and just dump them on the end of my bed.
Just like, there you go.
Like I once had like a magpie just squawking at me and three in the morning.
And the cat was like, done it.
Nailed it.
Good day.
There are menace cats like to the birds.
Anyway, I'm not going to labor on about that.
That's fine.
Yeah, that's fine.
They're great when they're inside,
but they do do a little damage when they get outdoors.
I have a lot of opinions on birds and how they're meant to be kept
and all that type of stuff.
I'm a bit hippie about birds, man.
So that'll come out as the podcast goes along.
All right, we'll see.
So here's what we're going to do, Scott.
I'm going to ask Jim everything he thinks he knows about birds.
I'm going to ask him some questions as well and help prod him along.
And then after that, we'll come back to you
and we'll have you grade him 0 through 10 on how accurate he was about it,
10 being the best.
And then Kelly's going to grade him on confidence.
I'm going to grade him on et cetera.
We're going to tally those scores, 21 through 30, big bird.
You'll be a big bird.
11 through 20, you're a regular-sized bird.
Zero through 10, the dumbest bird I've ever met.
And let me tell you, I've met a ton of birds.
That's what you'll be.
I've met a lot of birds, man.
Okay.
First question, what is a bird?
Bird's a bird, man.
I knew you were going to answer it like that.
A bird's a flying animal.
Some characteristics of birds.
Not always flying.
There's flightless birds, such as the penguin and the emu and the ostrich.
Okay.
And what's the other one in New Zealand?
The kiwi is a flightless blind bird as well.
What are some of the characteristics of them?
For most of them, wings.
Wings is one of their big things.
Feathers is another big one
for the birds. A beak.
They all have beaks, mate. They all
fucking have beaks. You won't find one with a human
mouth.
That's a bird there. Beaks is one of their big
ones. They all have
eyes. Okay, now you're just...
But the Kiwi's blind.
The Kiwi's blind. Some of them are, you know.
Alright.
And I think the penguin's the only
one that can swim. There's other ones
that can dive into the water and grab a fish
and then fly back out and stuff like that.
For the most part, they're flying animals.
Okay. What percentage of
all vertebrates are birds?
Do you know what a vertebrate is? Birds are vertebrate as well.
So what percentage... Yeah, do you know what a vertebrate is? Birds are vertebrate as well. So what percentage?
Yeah, do you know what a vertebrate is?
Yeah, it's fucking birds and shit, man.
Do you know what it is?
Shut up, Farid.
You don't know me.
It means it has a spine.
Get your own podcast.
I'm just saying so you have the information to guess this.
It has a spine. It means it has a spine it means there's
a spine it's fine yeah we're one of those uh birds uh 20 20 of all vertebrates okay are birds related
to dinosaurs is that a myth uh no it's not the velociraptors and stuff uh have much more of a
bird-like skeletal uh type of way and the way that they move with their legs and everything is more
like a bird with their talons.
Okay, so yes.
Yeah, they do.
Yeah, they do.
They have talons.
Okay.
What is the earliest known bird?
His name was George.
I feel like we've talked about, well, it might not be the earliest. Okay, so I'm going to say the pterodactyl they're going to say is not a bird.
I'm going to say that is a bird.
Okay.
Oh, no, wait a minute.
There's pterodactyls and bats aren't birds, are they?
Bats aren't birds.
Never heard of a bird flu, have you?
Fucking bats.
There is a bird flu.
No, that was the joke.
That was the joke.
Of course, I know about the different flus. That's where joke. Of course, there's a swine. I know about the different flus.
That's where the movie, that's where the movie,
that's where Angry Birds comes from.
That's where they're killing the pigs with the swine flu
and the birds are coming in.
The earliest bird might have been mentioned
when Richard Dawkins was on the podcast.
Oh, it's a seagull.
It's a seagull, okay.
There was some like walking around with a chip.
Okay, okay. With some fries walking around with a chip. Okay.
With some fries.
How did birds develop wings?
They've got wings when they're born, man.
I thought you said a tits.
No.
All right, next question. Plastic surgery.
They get some bigger wings.
They develop them.
They've always got wings.
Okay, next question. This me get some bigger wings. They're developing. They've always got wings. Okay, next question.
We've got, how, this is a question for you.
How long would your wings need to be for you to be able to fly?
Oh, for me to be able to fly?
Okay, so your arm span is the exact same as your height.
So I think we'd have to be triple that.
So triple your height.
So 18 feet. 18 feet across? Across. Okay.
I don't know the answer to that, but we'll find out.
What is unique about bird bones?
They're crunchy. What do you mean I've eaten up
bird bones? They don't look that unique. They look like bird bones. Oh, they're hollow.
So they can fly. Okay hollow. So they can fly.
And so they can fly.
Do birds
have lungs like we do?
Not like ours. There's a lot smaller.
That's good.
Good work around.
Okay.
I'm going to go through some of these.
We'll just mention as we're talking
to you, Scott, because I don't feel like we have the fly with that one.
I was going to ask you what a cloaca is, but you're not going to know that.
It's a small town on the outskirts of L.A.
where people are like, it's just a small commute into my office.
I like it out here.
It's a bit more free.
Cloaca actually has been mentioned on the podcast before.
Yeah, we'll revisit all the questions I don't ask too,
but do all birds lay eggs?
Do all birds lay eggs?
That's an interesting question.
I'm going to say yes.
Yes, they do.
I don't think there's any birds that just vaginally give birth to anything.
I don't even know if they have vaginas.
What about the birds who don't want to have families and they keep getting
pressure from their parents to have children, mom.
They're unfertilized eggs.
They still lay eggs.
That's what I've always thought about chickens, right?
So chickens, we're eating their periods, right?
That's what they are.
They're just periods.
And then like when we cook chicken,
what's the best thing to have on a chicken salad sandwich? Mayonnaise.
And that's just made from egg yolk and oil. So when we kill them and
cook them, the last thing we do is rub them in their period. It's just such a real demoralizing
ending for the chicken. Why do birds migrate? Scott's looking
very confused. Why do birds migrate?
To take jobs off the other birds.
I knew it.
To go up there and not learn the language
and take all the jobs from the hardworking local birds.
What bird has the longest migration route?
Do you know?
Or how long is it?
I bet you their migration would have something to do
with the warmth and the cold and all that type of stuff
and having to get to different
temperatures so they can reproduce.
It would be a reproduction migrate.
Okay.
Do you, you might, you might not know the bird that has the longest migration route,
just the bird, but how long is it?
That would be.
You know, where to where, how long is it?
Yeah, there'd be a bird from the bottom of South America that goes all the way up to
Canada.
Okay.
And do you know why birds sing?
Because they're going to be a star someday.
No, why do we sing?
A bit of fun.
Probably there's some mating calls in there and stuff like that.
Mating calls?
Yeah, yeah.
Anything else?
Also like, danger, danger, don't come near me.
Or just like, have you heard this tune?
Zip-a-da-doo-dah. Okay. don't come near me. Or just like, have you heard this tune?
Okay.
How many songs does the average songbird know?
Oh,
well,
it depends on the songbird,
but I don't know if they know many of the modern songs,
but most of them know all the Beatles back catalog.
They love Beatles.
That's right.
They love the Beatles. And they go, that's right. They all love the Beatles.
And they go, you ever heard the song Blackbird?
How do birds sing?
Like how do they produce a sound and why can't we imitate them?
I just imitated them.
Piece of piss.
How do they produce the sound?
Out of their vocal box.
They would have vocal cords like the rest of us,
the larynx and everything.
They would have like a little thing,
and also a lot of it's whistling through the beak.
All right, a couple more questions,
and I'm going to ask you some fill in the blanks.
Can birds sleep in flight?
While they're flying, can they sleep?
Oh, they can have a short nap.
It's the same way that I can sleep whilst I'm driving for a short distance.
You can't do it for an hour or something.
You just put the Tesla in auto drive and then you have your little nap.
Okay.
And then do birds have penises?
Not all of them.
I would say half of them.
Half of them. What is the half of them. Half of them.
What is the fastest bird?
We've talked about this on the podcast.
Oh, that's the falcon in the Middle East, the racing falcon.
Fastest.
Remember there was one that's fast flying and then diving. There's one that dives faster than everyone else.
That one can go fuck itself.
That one's just full.
So the falcon is the fastest flying or diving?
It's the fastest diving.
What's the fastest flying?
That would be a hummingbird or something.
I don't fucking know.
Okay.
I like how the hummingbirds just hover in the one position.
It's like.
Yeah, they're almost bugs.
I love those things.
So tasty.
Here, I got three or four more questions,
and then we'll fill in the blanks.
And then how long do birds – how about this?
What's the smallest and largest bird?
The largest bird would be some type of like a – it would be an emu or an ostrich.
Okay.
I'm going to say an emu is bigger than an ostrich,
but that just might be Australian pride coming out here.
Yeah.
I might be wrong on that.
It might be the other way.
The smallest bird will be something like a hummingbird or something like that.
Okay.
And then how many birds survive their first year, like when they're born?
I'm going to say it's 60% mortality rate.
So 40% survive.
Okay.
And what birds are the smartest?
Oh,
see,
this might be a curve ball,
but you say,
you can say things like the parrots
because the parrots can talk to you
and all that type of stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
Parrots are up for a chat.
Parrots.
And do you,
they live to be like a hundred years old as well,
not 80 something years old. So you shouldn't buy a parrot if you don't and do you- They live to be like 100 years old as well, not 80-something years old.
So you shouldn't buy a parrot if you don't think you're going
to live that long.
Because I was just in Hawaii, I feel so bad because they have the ones
with the clipped wings and they put them in the cages and then they just
sort of sit there and then a guy brings them out.
When they clip the wings, I feel bad for the birds.
I feel bad.
What are you clipping when you clip the wings?
I think they clip like just the end of it.
They can fly but only a couple of meters.
They can't really get up there and go.
It's like if they cut your feet off, you could probably hobble around on your stumps a bit, but you wouldn't get a good run on.
Okay.
How far can owls turn their heads?
It's 180 degrees both ways.
They can't swing it all the way.
Let's say 170. They can't get it all the way. Let's say 170.
They can't get it all the way,
but they get pretty close to doing all 360 by going all the way around.
Okay.
We'll talk about owls a little bit.
And then flamingos.
You know what flamingos are?
Yeah.
Why are they that color?
Because they eat shrimp.
It's from their diet that they become pink.
You got a lot of them wrong, but I think that one's close.
I don't remember if that, but.
It's close.
That's the fucking right answer.
Do any birds fart?
Ooh.
Yeah.
The Falcons,
when it hits top speed,
that's when it goes mock five.
Nitrous oxide.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Here's five fill in the blanks and we're done.
A fling,
a flamingo only eats with its head blank.
Correct.
What it eats with its head blank. Correct. What do you mean?
It only eats with its asshole or under its wing?
It only eats with its head.
Yeah, that's correct.
Ostriches have the largest blank of any bird.
What bird was that?
Ostriches.
Ostriches have the largest what?
Blank of any bird.
Oh, legs.
Legs, okay.
Hummingbirds have the largest blank of any bird. Oh, legs. Legs, okay. Hummingbirds have the largest blank of any bird.
Oh, attitude.
Okay.
Owls blank.
Oh, no, no, no.
Hummingbird is the most annoying of any bird.
You ever been around someone who hums all the time?
Oh, God, kill me.
Just like, oh, I brought your friend.
It's a hummingbird, is it?
No.
Okay. All right. Friend, it's a hummingbird, is it?
Owls blank let them sneak up on prey.
Ours will let them sneak up on prey.
He's so good at math.
Last one.
Bird bones are different than ours because they are blank. Hello!
Okay. All right, Scott.
Thanks for waiting there patiently.
On a scale of 0 to 10,
10 being best, how did Jim do on his accuracy of those
questions? Well, I gotta say, until the
last few questions, he was doing great.
So I would say, I'm gonna give him a
6.5, 7.
Let's say 7.
7. What do you give them, Kelly?
I felt like a lot of the answers were wrong, and maybe
they're not, but your confidence was
top-notch. I'm giving you an 11.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Seven, 11. It's a total of 18.
I'm going to give you minus 12.
It's under a six. The dumbest bird I've ever
met, and let me tell you, I've met a ton of birds.
That's you.
Let's start at the beginning.
What is a bird? What is a bird?
What is a bird?
He said a bird's a bird.
He looks like Dave Grohl if birds didn't like him.
That's from before.
That's from earlier, Scott.
No worries, he's talking to Jack.
He said a bird's a bird, a flying animal.
What are the characteristics of birds?
Jim said they have feathers and beaks.
They all have beaks.
But what are we looking at?
Well, I think if you're going to describe a bird, it's probably all about flight.
So birds are animals that are specially adapted to fly.
And although there's a few birds that are flightless, pretty much all of them can fly.
And they've had to do a lot of physiological stuff to be able to do that.
So, you know, sometimes people say, I wish I could fly like a bird. Well, it would be kind of horrible because first of all,
you would have to reduce your weight by about 70%. And you'd have to do that by having hollow,
possibly very, you know, fragile bones. You'd have to poop all the time because you don't
want to have anything in your digestive
system so jim is a bird you'd have a wishbone a lot of birds have these fused bones together that
are are lightweight but not only are they lightweight but they're sort of reduced and
fused and almost all i think all birds actually have wishbones uh the i think it's called a
for curriculum it's a it's called a littleiculum. It's called the little fork.
And what it is, it's, you know, at Thanksgiving, you have the wishbone where you break the bone,
and you know, whoever gets the biggest one gets their wish. Well, the wishbone is actually
a modified version of your clavicles. So you're, what are these called? Clavicles.
Yeah. Anyway, they're fused together on a bird.
And so that creates the wishbone and that lets them actually create a whole bunch of
muscle mass there so they can fly.
So it's a bunch of characteristics, feathers, bill.
Actually, Jim, you got a bunch of them.
Egg laying.
And then there's a couple of weird technical ones like they have a nucleated red blood
cells.
They have a nucleus in their red blood cells, which we don't.
They have a single occipital joint at their skull, whereas we have two.
And they also have a single ear bone instead of three.
So a lot of little things.
But basically.
You missed those, Jim.
Yeah.
Idiot.
I was right with feathers.
Yeah.
Feathers.
Flying.
I said flying.
Beaks.
Beaks was a big one. Yeah, you crashed it. Beaks was a big one yeah you crashed beaks was a big one is there
any featherless birds there are uh they're birds with very modified feathers so there's birds like
the kiwi which basically looks like it has hair but those are just really modified feathers would
you agree the reason the kiwi can survive is because there's no natural predators
for it in new zealand it wouldn't survive in any other country but like like would you agree that
new zealand needs more natural predators for the people like no just letting it without the
predators letting a blind flightless bird wander around like it doesn't have a fucking care in the world.
Society's got to fucking pick up on that and go, this thing should have had natural selection ages ago.
It's our national bird.
It doesn't fly.
That's the amazing thing about natural selection.
It's like with flight, you don't keep anything that you don't need.
Right.
So with birds, they got rid of all the stuff they don't need so that it could fly.
And with species, they get rid of everything that they don't need so they can live perfectly
in the habitat that they are without any extras and without too much or too little.
They're sort of just perfect for where they are.
But yeah, you bring in a rat or a cat and it's all over.
So if you move like the Kiwis to Los Angeles, over time, they would evolve and get all the
things they need, like vision and ais to Los Angeles, over time they would evolve and get all the things they need,
like vision and a car.
Boobs, ass implants.
You can't walk around this town.
It's not a walkable city.
You've got to drive.
Co-cab it.
Co-cab it.
Living up in the hills.
Podcast.
What percentage of all vertebrates are birds?
Jim said 20%.
Jim got really close on this.
It's actually 15 percent
and if you want to pull back to a really wide view you could i i had this one other statistic
there's actually one trillion species of life on earth and that's more than the number of stars in
the milky way and there's 10 000 species of birds which is one millionth of that so it's a it's
actually a very small number when you look at the big picture,
but it's a lot when you look at all the animals around that we can see.
So that movie, The Big Year, I like that film.
Did you like that film with Steve Martin?
I did.
I like the book better, but I like the movie.
And actually, it inspired me to do my own big year in New York State.
So I broke the record for the most number of birds seen in a year.
And what was that?
A year in New York state one year.
How many do you see?
I saw 350.
Oh,
but it's actually the big,
like,
like if you traveled,
like what is,
what is the most.
He's saying species,
not birds individually.
Yeah.
How many,
how many species is anyone seen in,
in one year?
Cause I know it's a thing like for birdies, right?
I think if you do a worldwide big year, someone just did one,
and I think they got 4,500.
I don't remember.
It's either 4,500 or 5,500 out of the 10,000.
Wow.
That is a major undertaking because you've got to fly everywhere
and go into crazy places.
How do you prove that with photos?
It's the honor system. Oh honor system. You've got to be
good. That's right.
At least until
now, it's been mostly the honor system.
It's too bad because there's been a couple
of bad eggs that have spoiled that,
but for the most part, people are pretty honest
about it. No pun intended.
When you did your big
year in New York
State, did it start like this?
Pigeon won.
Exactly how it started.
That's exactly how it started.
It just gets harder and harder.
Pretty soon you have 100 and then the pigeon doesn't count.
You've got to keep looking.
Rarer and rarer birds.
Yeah, you know a guy's cheating.
He shows up, 10,000.
Got all 10,000 this year.
My father has a whole heap of birds that just visit
him every day at the same time. He puts a bit of seed for him out in Australia.
Some rainbow lorikeets. Oh, beautiful.
Yeah, they're sort of indigenous to where I grew up in the part of Sydney I grew up in.
There's loads of them. There's two in particular that visit him every day. And then my father thinks
cockatoos are menaces,
which is funny because Americans think a cockatoo is such an exotic bird,
but he's like, oh, they're bloody.
They fuck up the wiring.
Don't let them get onto your fucking antenna.
And so my dad keeps – he doesn't mind the cockatoos,
but he really likes lorikeets, and he thinks sometimes the cockatoos
fuck up the lorikeets' feeding time at his house.
So my dad keeps a slingshot next to his chair and he has the windows open
and he has little tiny –
I've seen it, yeah.
Forrest has seen it.
And he keeps a little pile of pebbles on his bedside table.
And then when the cockatoos are bothering the lorikeets,
he shoots a rock at them.
He's never killed one.
And he goes, oh, no, it just hits them and they fly away very quickly.
They know when they've been hit with one.
They always come back.
How does he know it's the same one coming back?
No, no, no.
The lorikeets, because they're tame.
I mean, they're wild, but you can put your finger out
and they're kind of like nibbling.
Yeah, Dad will have them sitting on his hand.
Sometimes they'll fly in the house and they'll sit on his shoulder.
He's like fucking Dr. Doodle, man.
And he's just sitting there and wild birds fly into the house
and hang out with him for a little while and then they go away.
And then like sometimes if it's colder and he's got the door shut,
they'll fly into the door handle and start tapping on the glass like,
come on, Gary, come on out.
And he goes, ah, the bloody birds are bothering me.
But he secretly likes it.
He's like, I wish they'd stop bothering me.
Hello, how are you?
And he's got names for them.
He calls them Bubble and Squeak, the two of them.
He shoots the cockatoos with rocks.
If you don't know what a cockatoo is, if you're listening at home,
a cockatoo is a big white bird with like a yellow sort of thing
on the top of its head, a yellow crest.
What would I call that on the top of the head?
Crown?
Crest.
Yeah.
Crest.
And they have them.
I mean, they have those pets here all the time.
You see them in people's pet stores and stuff.
When I went to Australia, which was the first time,
like these birds are worth a ton of money in the United States.
Like people would pay thousands of dollars for these birds.
Yeah.
And then you're hanging around.
Your dad's shooting them with a slingshot.
I don't know. Have you guys ever been to the
parrot roost? You guys are in LA, right?
Have you been to the parrot roost there?
Is it like a parrot rescue type of place?
No, it's actually a neighborhood.
I'm trying to remember what the neighborhood is.
Pasadena. They have the green parrots of Pasadena.
Oh, there's green parrots in Long Beach too
because I lived there for six years and every
single morning just swarms of green parrots.
They're so obnoxious.
Oh God, it was the worst.
They're kind of horrible to live with.
Yeah.
They're terrible.
They're really amazing birds.
And if you ever go to the jungle and see them flying around in their natural
habitat, you see why they're there and they're sort of perfect there.
But when you get them into, you know, an urban area, they're awful.
What was the story on that?
Cause I feel like I remember hearing that they like didn't they were at some sort of like veterinary office or something like that and like escaped or like they got let out or something and then breed like breeded.
Oh, God.
That's exactly.
We have we even have parakeets here in New Jersey, which is, you know is not where most parrots would be.
But we have a colony of monk parakeets, which just got out.
Someone had them as a pet, and they started breeding,
and they made it through the winters, and they live here now.
Here's one that I'm interested in.
It seems like with birds that there's – what percentage of meat eaters?
Because it feels like they've got two speeds, birds.
You've got the, I like to have a little bit of seed.
I'm good.
I'm going to eat your face when you're dead.
Right?
You've got your vultures and all that type of stuff.
Or even kookaburras are meat eaters.
You know, kookaburras will get like the worms out of the ground.
But then those ones that just circle over you like.
So what is it?
Is it less meat eaters, more meat eaters?
What is it? it's actually easier to
ask what birds don't eat meat or protein because there are very few pure vegetarian birds so um
if it's not meat you know if it's not you know a mouse or something or another bird
it's insects so and worms and that kind of stuff so almost all birds especially in the breeding
season when they need the extra protein for their uh chicks and when they need the extra energy will eat some kind of protein or meat yeah
some other living animal are they what what birds attack like i i used to i'll tell you a story
i had a magpie that used to bother me on the way to school right i used to go to school and this
magpie i think it was like it had babies up in a nest, but it was the way I walked to school. When I was eight years old,
I used to walk to school and I used to go by these magpies. These magpies used to dive and
hit me in the head and try to peck at me. And I used to have to run and I'd be screaming. And
that was my way to school every day, right? Anyway, so my father gave me an ice cream container,
right? Like a big one, like a two liter ice cream container, not like a little tub we use these days.
Remember when we had the bigger tubs?
And so it was a square container.
So he gave me that to me and I would put it over my head on the way to school
so that when the things couldn't hurt me, the magpies couldn't hurt me,
and then I'd dump it over, you know, further away.
And then when I was on the way back from school,
I'd pick it up and put it back on my head and then I'd dump it on the other side
is that normal yeah actually there's some birds that are especially the smarter ones are pretty
good at defending their nests and attacking people sometimes especially if they have if they have a
if they have a nest with nestlings in it they can be really aggressive so like magpies actually
mockingbirds will do that during the nesting and they're also nasty with their words yeah have a nest with nestlings in it they can be really aggressive so like magpies actually mocking
birds will do that during the nesting and they're also nasty with their words yeah
there's not a there's not a lot of birds that will actually hurt you actually the probably the
one people run into the most are swans yeah swans they're just snakes with fucking legs aren't they
fucking swan be a kid and try aren't they? Fucking swan,
be a kid and try to walk up to a swan and get your cricket ball back and
you'll know fucking all about it.
I tell you.
Yeah.
We used to water ski on this lake.
And,
and the swan,
if you fell near one of these big swans,
they had swans in the lake,
they would come over and you'd have to hold up like the skis or the
hydros or whatever you had.
And like defend yourself.
The swans would come over and start coming over to like peck at you and stuff.
It was like,
then they're huge.
Swans are huge.
I was playing golf once and my friend was chased by a swan trying to get his
ball.
They're fucking nasty.
They are swans.
Yeah.
Especially when they have eggs or when they're protecting their territory.
And they,
they're actually our largest lighted bird in North America.
So they weigh 30 pounds.
I'll give you a quiz. I'll give you a quiz.
I'll give you a quiz.
Where do black swans come from in Australia?
In Australia.
Yeah.
Where are they indigenous to in Australia?
I'm going to say Western Australia.
Yeah, it is Western Australia.
That's the state national bird is the black swan.
And that's why it's called the Swan River through the middle of Perth.
And it has black swans in it. Swan lager is the beer from there. It's all swan. And that's why it's called the Swan River through the middle of Perth. And it has black swans in it.
Swan lager is the beer from there.
It's all swan.
All right, let's continue on.
Are birds related to dinosaurs?
Is that a myth?
Jim says, yes, they are related to dinosaurs.
They absolutely are.
Actually, they're related to theropods, which are kind of small dinosaurs, group of dinosaurs.
And they're directly related to those. So birds are
sort of living dinosaurs in a lot of ways. And dinosaurs, you know, evolved into birds with,
excuse me, they evolved wings and feathers gradually, we think, for things like the wings
would work or the feathers would work as insulation. And they also work as color signaling
for, you know, mate attraction or whatever kind of thing they're trying to communicate.
And then we think that they probably developed the ability to glide like a flying squirrel.
So as they got better at that, they got more specialized, and eventually that developed
into powered flight.
So that's where birds came from.
Would you agree that the peacock is a useless bird?
It's all show and no production. i would agree that it's all show what is the earliest known bird is it a seagull seagull that is the uh uh archaeopteryx which is
that sort of latin name bird you guys may have heard of that one it's sort of like a half lizard
half bird has feathers on it that they found as a one it's sort of like a half lizard half bird
has feathers on it
that they found
as a fossil
it's about
150 million years old
yeah we
I told you
Richard Dawkins
mentioned it
I can't remember
things that we told
and we did the
follow up quiz
about the
Archaeopteryx
several times
on this show
there's a lot of
things
it was like
Dave Grohl
if he had hollow bones
yeah
thin skin
can I go back to Pe peacocks for one second?
Sure, yeah.
There's a really interesting thing about peacocks,
which is that people have always wondered
how a bird would develop such an elaborate set of colors and patterns.
Because it's fabulous.
That's one possibility.
I think another one, though, is that it's um evolutionarily it indicates that
there's that evolutionary pressure is not just about survival and this is a little it's not
controversial but there's controversy about how much of an influence this is but there's a great
book called um the uh the evolution of beauty i think that's what it's called by Richard Prum. And it's a great book.
And it talks about how birds and other animals may look pretty because the member of the
opposite sex likes it that way.
So the mating pressure is actually applied by their mate, not by survival.
So usually if you ask people, they say, you know, survival of the fittest.
But this is actually these kinds of like really elaborate displays may actually be created because the mate selection actually selects out the males that aren't interesting enough.
And so they sort of drive them toward this crazy ornate displays and ornamentation.
So peacocks are humans.
Yeah. So when a peacock does its full feathers like that, she's asking for it.
Jack, you look like if Dave Grohl was a
peacock.
Yeah, he's very upset.
Mr. Grohl, sorry.
How did birds develop wings?
I'm sorry, you're done with the peacock.
We're still on the peacock.
Are they indigenous to Australia? We seem to
have a lot of those. Did some rich English person
go, bring a peacock out?
Peacocks are indigenous to Southeast Asia,
I think, and India.
I think like the
foothills of the Himalayas and places like that.
They're all throughout South Florida.
They're just on people's
roofs.
I'll tell you, if you want
to be successful as a bird,
get interesting to people. So if you want to be successful as a bird get interesting to people
so if you want to ask
what's the most successful bird species
is the chicken
because chickens are probably the most
popular well not the most populous but they're
certainly the most successful and widespread
bird around the world because of people
are they successful
at getting murdered?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We got murdered more than any other bird.
We're the most successful.
Look at you, dodo's.
No one there.
We went extinct, unsuccessful bird.
You kind of talked about a little bit
how do birds develop wings.
Jim said they were born with
a man nowadays they are yeah um but they were you just talked about that a little bit with uh
with the dinosaurs they basically probably evolved from gliding and you know develop some skin
between your armpit and your arm and then you can jump a little further in a tree i've developed a bit of that skin during covid just a flap that's going down uh jim says 18 feet across that's how big his wings
would need to be for him to fly okay i love this one we actually my wife and i went to the cincinnati
zoo and they have a great display where they show you what would happen if you what you would need
to be if you needed to fly and so i weigh about 200 pounds, about six, little over six foot tall.
I would need to have wings that are 120 feet wide.
Okay. That's how much I need then.
I'm a little bit more than 200 pounds as well. So I need 140 feet.
You can't get through doorways without those.
Imagine the kind of muscles
you'd need to go with that too. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger
I don't think would be able to move those.
And I need my wings to also be able to carry
some in and out. Otherwise
what's the purpose of
being able to travel?
What superpower would you have? I'd like to be able to
fly. You can't solve crimes
just by flying. You can't fly up to a crime scene
really quickly and go all right i'll circle around you i got here quick you need it in
conjunction with power yeah that's true never thought about that uh what is unique about bird
bones he said they're crunchy and also they're hollow so they can fly yeah i think the hollow part they're crunchy because they're hollow yeah they're either hollow or they're oftentimes
they have these struts like these mechanically sort of like um angular supports inside them but
they're not they're not basically solid like ours i mean we have this spongy metal but ours are a lot
more solid because everything needs to be super lightweight that's the whole that's the whole
idea with birds is as light as possible and do birds have lungs like we do he said they're a lot smaller than
ours what what about their lungs i guess are unique or proportionally they're actually bigger
than ours and actually they have lungs just like we do but they also have a couple of like air bags
called air sacs that they use for um sort of a continuous breathing thing that goes on
so that they're extremely efficient with their oxygen and waste exchange. So that way they can
really oxygenate their muscles. Because again, like they're, they're really they're sort of like
little Olympians, you know, they're using their muscles to the absolute maximum. So they need the
most amount of oxygen, you know, the least amount of weight,
the most amount of energy per amount eaten,
you know, that they can expend and so on
so that they can fly.
So yeah, they have very, very efficient lungs.
And actually, that's also important for their singing,
which I'll mention.
And it helps that they don't smoke.
I'm looking forward to the penis question.
I never see a smoking bird except maybe in a restaurant. I'm going to say they don't have dicks like to the penis question.
I'm going to say they don't have dicks like in the regular form. We can jump ahead.
I have them all.
The only reason is because I know how big my windspan has to be
because I'm not streamlined, you see.
I don't have the biggest dick in the world,
but if you got me naked and I was flying,
that would fucking ruin the flight.
Just a scrotum hanging down and flapping along.
It would ruin my day.
I'm going to say no external penises.
They can probably bring out their little red rocket like they do.
Like, you know, in dogs, you go, oh, what's he yappy about?
And he's got his little red rocket out.
Looks like a lipstick.
You are 100% on the money, Jim.
Oh, thanks.
That's exactly right.
Yeah, yeah, the little red rocket.
Almost no
birds have
penises and
that's because
they or very
few birds have
penises and
that's because
they get in
the way.
Yeah.
In flight and
in all the
other stuff
again, you
know, getting
along with
people.
So that
brings us
actually to
what a
cloaca is,
which I think
was one of the
questions, right?
Right there. Yeah. We're right on there. Yeah.
So, cumberts, by the way, do have penises. So ducks and waterfowl do.
And we think that they do because they need to mate in the water.
And so they need to have some way of protecting the sperm getting injected into the, you know, into the vagina so they can, you know, fertilize the egg.
And they need to be, need to have some kind of mechanism for that in the water.
But birds that aren't water birds, they have something called a cloaca.
And a cloaca is basically a universal all purpose hole.
So they can inject waste from it.
They can lay eggs with it and they can reproduce through it.
So you look like Dave Gold's cloaca.
It's a callback
to getting to Jack.
You're confusing Scott. It's a callback from earlier.
You look like Dave Grohl's all-purpose
hole.
I don't know, Jack.
I heard ducks have corkscrew dicks.
He said, I heard ducks have
corkscrew dicks. Is that a thing?
That is true. Yep. Ducks have
corkscrew dicks. Is that a thing? That is true. Ducks have corkscrew dicks and
the female
vagina is actually
equally bizarrely
shaped so that
the male
duck, if she actually doesn't want him
to fertilize her, the ducks are
very...
It's a whole other topic, but ducks are basically
rapists.
Most animals. very it's a it's a whole nother topic but ducks are basically rapists um they most animals and they're so which is sort of horrible and hard to glad we shoot them yeah
if you see those ducks at the pond they certainly don't seem like that but they
they um they the female actually has all kinds of this sort of elaborate mechanism of chambers.
So if the male duck attacks her and fertilizes her, she can actually divert the sperm into sort of a dead end.
Why can't we do that?
Do you eat birds?
I do.
Actually, I'm sort of a vegetarian since COVID. My wife's a vegetarian, so we've both been
basically just been eating
vegetarian, but yeah, I love
duck. I love chicken.
You're doing the right thing by eating
ducks. They're rapists. We should be taking
them off of the streets.
I'm not bad with those guys now, exactly.
Chickens are just a bunch of simpletons.
Fucking assholes.
They're very successful.
Very successful simpletons. We're very successful. Very successful simpletons.
We've done well.
Chicken empire.
We already talked about wishbones.
Do all birds lay eggs? Jim said yes.
Yes, they do. All birds lay eggs.
Another thing that they're doing so they can fly.
They can't carry
a growing fetus
inside them
because it adds weight.
I thought maybe they just vomited it up or something.
It wasn't all about weight.
How many chickens are on earth?
Because I have a lot of theories on this.
I'm surprised you haven't brought this up sooner.
I was surprised too.
Jim has a thing where he thinks that there's not really
as many chickens.
Okay.
I eat at least one whole chicken a week, week. I think the average human would do at least
a chicken breast and a wing or something a week or something like that. Then you add your vegetarians.
7 billion people on the planet. Let's say that 6 billion chickens are being
eaten a fucking week. Then you've got to have all the ones in stockpiles
and the ones in the whatever. By my calculations, we need about
60 billion chickens
at any given time to feed the the people i just don't see any chickens when i walk around i just
never see any i'm bumping into people all day i'm in roads where there's traffic because and there's
never a truck in front of me filled with chickens you know where's the chickens where's the chickens
it's a fucking scam.
What do you mean it's a scam?
It's a conspiracy. There's no chickens.
It's some other big animal that we're
cutting down.
And where's that animal?
I don't see chickens around here either.
Where are the chickens?
You've got an ally now, Jim.
There's got to be 60 billion chickens on Earth.
Where are they, man?
Where are they?
Well, our worldwide bird population of wild birds is about 400 billion.
Two to 400 billion.
And chickens number one?
Chickens number one?
They're not wild.
He's not saying wild birds is 400 billion.
400 billion, yeah.
Yeah, chickens are like in coops and pens.
Right.
Have you ever seen a
wild chicken i've seen like one in like mexico like walking around the street yeah i don't think
that was wild i think it just got out yeah it's still domesticated though you have to go to
southeast asia that's where the chicken originated and there's a bird called a jungle fowl and it
looks just like a rooster and they that's where all the chickens come from oh i thought a jungle
fowl is when you shit in the jungle and you didn't have any paper with you jungle foul
but he spilled your beer in the jungle
why do birds migrate jim said to take jobs off other birds but also to find ideal weather for
procreation so i'll go with the first one first.
It's more like actually finding,
finding,
taking on jobs that nobody's taking.
So they go up to like Canada,
for example,
a lot of really high wall.
That would be a heck of a wall.
They,
they go up there because in the summertime, there's a lot of unused territory because birds aren't there year-round.
So they can get up there and get in spots where no other birds are.
And there's a ton of biomass there.
So they get lots of bugs and all kinds of food to eat.
So it's a great place to raise your kids because you don't have as much competition for food or for space.
Oh, it's not for weather.
It's for food.
Well, it's for weather because they can't stay
there year round. So like, you know, when the weather turns, it gets cold, they have to come
back again. But each spring when it warms up again, they're back. So a lot of the birds that
we think of as ours, like I wrote this book called The Warbler Guide. That's all about these little
colorful birds called warblers that a lot of birders like so these guys are small songbirds and we see them in the spring
and then we see them in the sort of during a little during the summer depending how far north
you are and then you see them in the fall but they spend most of their lives actually in the
in the tropics so they live you know way up in canada and then they'll fly way back down to
even brazil or those areas that's what i said that's right you did well you did
well in a lot of these guys um what bird uh what bird has the longest migration route how long is
it so that's the arctic turn and actually jim you got that one just right too because they fly from
greenland to antarctica and back every year and they do this figure eight. So it's a 56,000 mile journey that they take every year.
And do they take that with their kids?
Not with the kids. Now the kids, well, this is the thing about birds is if you see a bird that
can fly and it's not a duck or a goose, it's probably full grown. You can't really tell.
I mean, there's ways to how old they are, but like birds basically get full grown really fast before they leave the nest.
And then they're the same size as the adults.
So the, but these birds do this every year for, they live for 30 years.
So that means that they do like maybe two to three time round trip to the moon
in their lifetime.
Wow.
A lot of energy takes.
So why do birds sing?
Jim said, because they're going to be a star
someday. He said, mating calls, a bit
of fun. Danger, danger, don't come near me.
Have you heard this tune?
Good answers.
Even the have you heard this tune, because there's these
birds called mimics that sing other bird songs.
And we think that part
of the reason they do that is to
impress the females by showing them how many songs they know so yeah you got all those things right
they're just the guy that shows up to a party with a guitar yeah have you guys heard this one
exactly so mating and then yeah and like terror so mating territorial things like that right that's
where yeah mating territory they also do it um they make these little sounds called chip calls Exactly. And like, so mating, territorial, things like that, right? That's where... Yeah, mating, territory.
They also do it, they make these little sounds called chip calls, these little chips and
chirps.
And one bird, they actually did a study of brambling, this bird in England, and they
had, I think, 12 different chip calls that all sound pretty much very similar to each
other.
But they mean things like danger above us danger below
us i'm on a nest with eggs i'm on a nest without eggs i'm you know sort of contact calls like i'm
over here i'm over here so they actually mean all kinds of stuff and so how many songs does an
average songbird know jim said the beatles catalog back catalog it's a big catalog
excellent answer uh the actual answer is probably about five.
But some birds can sing as many as 1,000 songs,
and other birds just have one.
But most birds have a few territorial songs,
a one-mate attraction song,
and then they have a bunch of little chips that they do,
like what we call flight and contact calls.
That's about the same as people.
Yeah. There's one bloke who knows 1,000 songs songs one bloke who sings one song when he's drunk yeah one song you know really good yeah yeah your karaoke song and then some sounds you make to your
mate that you're like sex um and so why can't we imitate or we can't imitate them or how do they
sing or can we talk about that a little bit?
Yeah.
The really cool thing about birds singing is they actually have two voice boxes.
So they can actually make two sounds simultaneously.
So some bird songs we can imitate like the cardinal, those kinds of sounds.
But some sounds like starlings make sounds that just sound electronic or alien and it's because they're actually making two sounds at the same time so it's sort of you
know when people do that throat that uh was throat singing where they're sort of singing
and humming at the same time that's what birds do all the time yeah what singing
because there's a hummingbird
the species in my yard
and it sounds like a laser almost
yeah exactly
yeah it's like it's an incredible sound
and
actually one really cool thing
about that is if you hear a bird
sometimes you'll hear a bird sing a song
and it'll sing a song that goes
or like a long up or down oftentimes
they're doing the first half of that with one voice box on the second half of it with the other
voice box and if you hear a young bird learning how to sing it'll actually mismatch it and you
can hear the gap in it okay and then sleeping i i didn't ask if birds sleep i just said if they can sleep in flight and he said they could have a short nap jim said unihemispheric low slow wave sleep which means yeah they can sleep
while they're flying they actually turn off one half of their brain a lot of birds actually sleep
sort of well dolphins do it don't they they can swim and sleep or something they can do half and
half exactly yeah dolphins dolphins are not voluntary.
They're voluntary breathers.
They have to think about breathing, so they have to have half their brain on at all times.
I know that part.
And birds are very under a lot of predatory pressure a lot of times, and they sort of need to know what's going on.
So you really don't want to go into a deep sleep.
So a bird will sit on a branch.
so you really don't want to go into a deep sleep.
So a bird will sit on a branch.
And actually one cool thing about that is when they sit down on the branch,
they have a little locking mechanism in their claw that actually locks them onto the branch
so they don't have to hold on to it.
It's just automatically locked on so they won't fall off.
And they sort of keep half their brain awake
so that way if anything happens,
they're sort of immediately awake and can do something about it.
When you said most of them do eat meat, am I allowed to just feed a bird a bit of hot dog or something?
Or is that not, you don't do that?
Don't do that.
Unless you have a, actually, I think like crows and ravens, those kinds of birds will eat raw meat.
And any big bird like a, you know, a hawk or a vulture obviously eat meat.
But with smaller birds, probably not.
They would love some bugs or mealworms or something like that.
Is it good to give seagulls chips?
Because I must have given a thousand seagulls a chip in me life.
Has that been hurting them?
We have a bad thing here.
We're actually, I'm in Cape May, New new jersey which is like a victorian seaside town so we have these beaches and we're we're about 10 miles from the bigger
15 miles from the biggest laughing gull colony in the world so like a hundred thousand laughing
gulls come there and breed every year and they get to the beaches and you can tell the people
who are new to the beach and who have been on the beach because the people who are new to the beach will put their food more than three feet away from them
or they'll hold something up in their hand and the birds will actually come up behind you and pull it
right out of your hand or if you have something on the ground they'll grab it and take off so
yeah when i first took kate to australia i took her out to get a donut kebab which is an australian
delicacy um but it's a you know it's like gyro, but it's more rolled type of thing,
more Lebanese style than Greek.
Anyway, she bought it and she walked out and a bird just came
and took like a cigar, just came and took a big chunk of meat
right out of the top of it.
She didn't want to eat it anymore.
I finished it.
I wasn't worried about that.
Is that bad for me to finish it?
Can you get diseases off birds very easily?
Technically, probably not
great um you might want to tear the part off that they ate um i don't that movie contagion starts
with something like that so yeah i'd be careful about that i'll just stick to bat then for the
most part you're pretty yeah um i think sorry, no. What is it? Gulls are, are, are totally generalists.
So they'll eat anything.
They'll eat meat.
They'll eat garbage.
They'll eat bread.
They'll eat, you know, everything basically.
It's part of the reason they do well.
But it doesn't, it doesn't hurt.
If you ever go like to, to, to where the San Francisco Giants play,
that's right next to the water.
And at the end of the game, when people are leaving,
when the Giants have been slammed by the Dodgers, right?
Yeah.
And he's sitting there.
It's just seagulls are just like, fucking, it's time, boys.
And it's just like they're eating half hot dogs and shit.
They don't give a fuck.
They're like, game's over, but our game begins.
Jack and I had lunch at a place in Malibu like two weeks ago,
and it was just all open air, obvious, because it's patio.
And there were massive
like martini glasses full of calamari
was an appetizer there and the seagulls
were just like dive bombing these people's tables
and so I was just like secretly recording
there was still a tarp overhead so we don't know how they were
there was like little tiny holes
in the roof and they were just shooting
it's crazy. There's nothing worse than when you get
a bird in your house and you're like how did this thing
get in here and you're trying to tell it how to get out you don't want to be
just sitting there looking at you open all the windows you idiot get out um in some cultures
that's a sign of death i mean somebody's well shit well i had killed some people that week
what is the fastest bird j Jim said the racing falcon.
Racing falcon?
There's the Amur falcon and Peregrine falcon.
Peregrine falcon, like you said,
it dives at 260 plus
miles an hour. But in a straight
line, there's
and I'd say the difference between diving and
falling is diving
you can do more than once. Falling, you only
get one shot at it with with straight flight
the um swifts there's a needle tail which is a kind of like swallow swift bird they can fly at
about over 100 miles an hour in a straight line my mother used to do a lot of needle tail when i
was a kid i made some sweaters um smallest and largest birds birds, he said, an ostrich, a human or ostrich,
and hummingbird is the smallest.
Ostrich, I'm sorry to say the ostrich
is the larger of the two.
Which one's faster?
Which one's faster, Rana, the ostrich
or the emu?
I'm going to say,
I'm sorry, but I think it's the ostrich.
Fucking stupid.
They may not be. They may not be. I might be wrong about that.
Yeah. Well, I think the emu oil helps with the arthritis more than the ostrich oil.
How many birds?
For either of them, I bet like the ostrich can run like 30 miles an hour for long periods of time.
Like they're super fast.
Yeah.
How many birds survived their first year? He said it's a 60% mortality rate.
That is actually pretty close.
It's actually something like 50% mortality rate with some birds like
Cardinals,
they have a 70% nest failure.
So that means they lose,
you know,
70% of their birds before they even get born.
So yeah,
it's really,
it's really it's in the the number of
birds born and die is sort of hard to wrap your mind around it's in the billions every year so
we have in the u.s probably between 10 and 20 billion birds and the mortality is probably i
know that just mortality from different sources like window strikes and
predation and that kind of stuff is something like 4 billion of that. So there's just an
incredible turnover. Did you just say window strikes?
Yeah. Window strikes. When you have a too clean a window and they fly into it.
That happened to me once. Yeah. That happened at school, man. I remember this fucking,
this teacher was like,
have you all got your assignments?
And I hadn't done my assignment.
And I'm sitting there going, oh, God.
Oh, God.
Then bang, a window hits the thing. A bird hits the window.
And then that bide me a bit of time.
To get the assignment done?
No, no, no.
Just I didn't hand it in for another 10 minutes.
I felt relaxed for 10 more minutes.
That bird helped out, huh?
I was in high school and I had a crush on this guy I worked with.
And so I went to a party at his friend's house the night before and we slept outside on the patio.
She wasn't invited.
It was the front patio.
Yeah, I was just outside knocking on the window like, let me in.
But we slept outside because there was like a pull out couch and the bird flies into the window I wake
up to this noise and the birds like struggling
on the floor and there's a baseball
bat I was like should I put it out of its misery
but then I was like if he wakes up and I am
beating a bird to death
with a baseball bat that's not going to be good so I
let it suffer I'm sorry
sometimes they'll recover
he was pretty bad
you know what the best thing to do if that happens is put them in a paper bag.
So that way the bird is...
Well, again, I wasn't invited in, so I didn't have access to paper bags.
If you didn't have a paper bag, Andy, you were in trouble.
But wait, why do you put them...
Yeah, a lot of times, right, they'll recover.
They'll sort of like get their wits about them and then they'll take off 20 minutes later.
But why the paper bag?
What else?
Just because it's quiet and dark. And one of the things you don't want to do is stress them. So you don't need to
feed them. You don't need to give them water. They don't need anything like that. They just need
quiet and dark. And actually there's a really interesting response that birds have. If you put
them in a paper bag or actually when people are catching hawks and falcons, they put them in tubes, like a mailing tube,
and they just stick the bird in there temporarily
and the bird goes totally still.
And they've actually measured their pulse rates
and all that kind of stuff
and they get completely relaxed in that situation.
And then they take, that's so that they can band them
and then they take them back out and let them go.
It's not just for fun.
Another bonus is if the bird doesn't survive,
you already have lunch ready.
That's true.
I also wouldn't want somebody
to wake up to me stuffing a bird in a
mailing tube either, so I guess it's fine.
Is that why magicians can keep pigeons
in their jackets? Because the pigeons are actually
really calm in the dark spots?
You know what? That's an excellent
point. I never thought of that, but I bet that is why.
You look like if Dave Grohl had a really good question about magic it's not pigeon they're doves and doves can uh you can
hypnotize them you can put them under their wing and make them sleep and that's why they they use
doves in magicians because they've got them shoved all through their outfit yeah um i always think
that it must be the most unglamorous thing right before because they always do the birds in the
first 20 seconds they're like get the birds out get the birds before, because they always do the birds in the first 20 seconds. They're like, get the birds out, get the birds out.
And it's always doves, which is lucky because the dove is a beautiful bird, but they put
it there because it can sit docile.
It's the same reason they let it out of things at the Olympic Games, because they'll all
sit there very quietly.
But it's like right before they go on stage, they must be just like, shove a fucking dove
up me.
What's the difference between a dove and pigeon?
A dove and a pigeon, a dove's a white bird and a pigeon's
a sort of a grubby sort of
grey type of no they're not the same animal
no no well they're the same animal
they're two kinds of birds yeah they're
two different birds although
sometimes what people call doves are
actually just white pigeons but
there are two totally
because magicians always use doves I reckon
if you want to blow my mind as a magician,
you fucking go out there and show me some other birds, man.
I want you to come out and go, hey, in the magic wand, dove.
And I'll be like, oh, it's all right.
I've seen it before.
Dove, dove, dove.
And then I want it like eagle.
And then I just want him to like shake his leg and be like penguin, penguin,
penguin.
Penguin, yeah.
Happy feet.
And they start waddling around on the stage.
And I'm like, this is a good fucking show.
Here's a good bird.
You could use an owl.
Okay, so Jim said they can turn 170 degrees their head.
Is that correct?
Each way.
Each way.
Actually, 270 each way.
So they can turn three quarters each way oh go and they have
this the reason part of the reason i do that is because their eyes are actually sort of tubular
shaped which gives them like this sort of extremely good telescopic vision but it also means that they
can't turn their eyes and eyes on it that's very well so that means they have to turn their head
if they want to see in that direction they can't't just look sideways like we can. So they go 270 each way.
Yep.
Wow.
All right.
And then flamingo gets its color by eating shrimp.
Was that correct?
That is mostly correct.
Yeah.
The zoos a lot of times will feed flamingo shrimp,
but actually the flamingos that are the brightest color,
it's actually from the algae they eat.
But the cartonoids is what's in it, and it's the same stuff.
It's actually the same stuff. If. But the cartinoids is what's in it, and it's the same stuff. It's actually the same stuff.
If you ever take those tanning pills, it's actually the exact same stuff,
and it'll turn your skin orange.
Tanning pills?
Tanning pills.
I've never heard of that.
I don't think that's a good thing to take.
Probably not.
It'll turn your skin orange.
Yeah.
Good.
Do any birds fart?
Jim said, yes, falcons when they hit top speed.
Well,
so as far as I know,
birds don't fart.
And part of the reason I,
I think this is because from what I've read,
but also birds don't have a sphincter.
So,
or they have a very modified one.
So it's very different from people where you can sort of hold stuff in.
Birds can't hold.
If you ever heard the term shit through a goose like shit through a goose it's the same the reason
loses a goose or yeah it goes right through them so the same reason you don't want to have doves
shoved up your sleeves is the reason also why i think birds don't part and there's a there's a
bird called the bassy and thrush in australia which is supposed to be able to um scare up insects by
farting on them but from what i've read that is actually probably not true i've been shit on by a
lot of birds nothing there's nothing worse than that yeah when you're going nothing worse oh
there's lots of things worse um but like when you get the and you just go oh yeah a girl was being
mean to me once in like third grade and she got shit on while she was like being a bitch.
And I was like, that's such a kid.
My car is covered in bird shit right now.
But when I lived in Sydney, my car was always covered in bat shit.
I'll take bird shit over bat shit all fucking day.
Bat shit?
Bat shit's black.
You know like a bird shit?
It's like triple the size and it's fucking black, right?
Well, the bats in Australia are triple the size, yeah.
No, the shit's triple the size of it's fucking black. Right. The bats in Australia are triple the size. Yeah. No,
the shit's triple the size of a bird shit.
A bird shit's like a thing,
but like a bigger,
and it's black.
And you're like fucking bats.
All right.
Here's my,
um,
when I did my big year in New York,
I actually went up,
I didn't know better at the time.
And I got too close to a turn colony.
Their turns are like dolls.
And they,
um,
they all, they, I was getting close, but not too close, a turn colony. Their turns are like balls. And they, um, they all,
they,
I was getting close,
but not too close,
you know,
and I was getting great looks at him with my binoculars and having a good
time.
And then one of them came up and sort of flew towards me.
And then another and another.
And pretty soon I had the whole colony flying at me and they were
shitting all over me.
It's how they actually scare people.
You know,
they scare predators away that way. So I learned it. I learned it firsthand. Good tactic. It's the Hitchcock movie. I can't remember shit it's how they actually scare people you know they scare predators away that way so I learned it
I learned it firsthand
is the Hitchcock movie I can't remember what it's called it was about birds
oh no not the birds you're talking about
the pigs the birds
the movie the birds
is that an accurate thing
my interviewing
technique is getting better and better
do you
like that film?
It's just like the Chris Farley sketch.
I do actually really like that film.
I don't think it's totally accurate.
I was going to tell you before, though, my wife's father, when he was a kid, had a crow that would follow him to school.
And the crow, somehow, it's sort of like you were saying about your dad with the birds, Jim.
His mother was like Snow White with the birds.
She would feed them, and chickadees and all the other little birds would come out and land on her tray and on her arms, and she would feed them every day.
Anyway, they had this crow, and the crow would actually follow him to school and sit outside his window when he was in class, and then follow him home when he went home and then
he would sleep inside with them and one day he actually got bullied by a kid and the crow came
down and took a hole out of the kid's head and my wife didn't believe this until she actually met
the guy and sure enough he had a scar on his head from where that crow grabbed him.
So good on the crow.
Really knows what kids bullying.
That wasn't, I think that's sort of the birds.
I mean, if you had a whole bunch of them.
And they're the smart bird.
I don't even get that.
There aren't, they considered, he said parrots, but the smartest birds.
Parrots are some of the smartest.
Kias in New Zealand are always, if you, if you go online and look for a show about there i don't know what it's called there's a nature show about just about kia's kea
is a kind of new zealand parrot and they are unbelievably smart they can do incredible
problem solving and stuff you absolutely new zealand prime minister is one of the moments
they also so so parents and also corvids so like uh ravens crows and jays are also considered smart but smart is sort of um it's relative right you know i mean like the the we
often measure birds in terms of intelligence by like if they can do what we can do if they can
talk or if they can drive a car or fill out a tax form.
But really, they're smart enough
what they need to do where they are.
So birds
would consider us really stupid because we couldn't
crack open a nut or we wouldn't know where to hide
our food or we wouldn't know to look for food or
we couldn't remember where our food is.
Acorn woodpeckers
can hide 10,000 nuts and go right back to them they shouldn't
be domesticated should they those little bird cages for like you know you know tweety bird type
of birds that's not right is it it's not for me no i mean i love wild birds and i love seeing them
fly and like for example i've seen scarlet macaws you know those big birds that you see
sometimes clubbed as pets or you see them at the zoo.
And I've seen them actually wild flying over the jungles in Belize.
And they're so perfect and beautiful where they are.
It's just it doesn't feel right to have them in a cage.
And also these huge spaces and they're sort of built for that, you know, so to put them in a little cage.
these huge spaces and they're they're sort of built for that you know so to put them in a little cage i'm sure people would would argue with me that they're happy in the cage too but it's it's not
my favorite no i don't agree with keeping birds in captivity and now they've got those like clear
backpacks that people are like oh well my bird's in a cage all day so i bought this clear bubble
backpack so i can take my bird on a hike with me and it's like just fucking let the bird out
yeah how many species How many species,
how many species are we losing on the regular birds?
Have we got a lot in danger or what's going on there?
We're seeing,
I mean,
worldwide across all species,
we're actually seeing a severe decline right now.
We're,
we're in an extinction event right now,
which is,
you know,
largely probably human influenced.
The birds are, which is largely probably human influenced.
The birds are a lot of birds.
There's a few bird species that are endangered and disappearing,
but really we're seeing a big drop in numbers of birds.
So like in the United States,
they just had a study come out in 2019 that we've lost one in four birds of our population in the last 50 years.
So that's almost a 30% decline in total number of birds.
So that's a very, very serious issue.
And that's actually why I'm working on the project that I'm working on right now,
that Terra project I mentioned before, because we think it'll help conserve birds
and hopefully reverse that trend a little bit.
All right, let's play a quick game without thinking.
Favorite bird and why?
Jack.
Bald eagle.
Why?
America.
All right.
Kelly, favorite bird and why?
I think I'm going to go penguins.
Why?
Because they're distinguished little gentlemen.
Favorite bird and why?
I like ospreys.
Why?
Because they hang out by the water and I like being near the water and they eat fish.
Scott, what's your favorite bird and why?
I love a lot of them, but I think hummingbirds are my favorite.
Oh, yeah.
I like hummingbirds, too.
Because they're such cool little birds.
And actually, they're special because we only have them here in North and South America.
They're nowhere else in the world.
And they can do so many cool things.
It's just they're kind of a miracle, those little guys.
I'll go right
by Larrakate.
These are the
fill in the blanks from Jen. A flamingo only eats
with its head, and he said correct.
With its head, blink.
Well, if by correct you mean
upside down, then you're right.
They actually turn their heads upside down because their bills
are filters like a baleen whale.
They filter plankton. They do the same
thing by swishing their bill in the water.
Ostriches have the largest
blank of any bird. Jim said legs.
Longest legs.
Eggs is the answer.
You can eat an ostrich egg.
I know you can cook with them. I've seen it on
Iron Chef. They bring it out like a fucking dinosaur
egg and they crack it and they bake a big omelette or something. I know you can cook with them. I've seen it on Iron Chef. They bring it out like a fucking dinosaur egg and they crack it and they bake a big
omelette or something. Yeah, it's good.
They can feed like eight people. I actually saw it on
what's that travel show?
The Amazing Race. They had one where
you had to eat a whole ostrich egg and it was
hard because it was like a giant bowl
basically of egg.
Did they eat it raw or did they cook it?
They cooked it, but it still
looked pretty rough. Hummingbirds have the largest blank of any bird.
He said attitude.
Yep.
That's right.
Proportional brain size.
Their brains are like 2.5% of their body weight, which is much more than other birds are.
And actually people, our brain is only, I think it's 0.6%, something like that.
Would you agree?
I might be wrong about that, but anyway, yeah,
they have a proportionally big brain.
I don't want to put words in your mouth,
but if you want to say this after me, like, yes, you're correct,
this is this, you can.
Would you agree that woodpeckers are cunts?
I'm going to have to defer on that one.
I would say I don't personally see them that way.
Why are you tapping all the time?
It's not like I've ever seen you finish a bit of construction.
You just get up to the tree and go,
it's not like I say, oh, you've made a hole.
It's like you bash into it a bit, then you fuck off.
Pain in the ass, woodpeckers.
You know, a lot of woodpecker jumping is actually for mating. They're actually communicating ass, woodpeckers. A lot of woodpecker jumping is actually
for mating. They're actually communicating to other
woodpeckers.
Just talk to her.
That's how they are.
Sometimes they do make holes, though,
and they'll make nests.
Well, where you guys are,
like I said, in California, the acorn
woodpeckers can be horrible
because they'll drill all kinds of holes in the
wood in your house.
Because they store nuts in there.
They'll drill a hole and then store a nut and drill another hole.
So they're called granaries where they store their nuts.
They can have 10,000 nuts in one tree.
They'll drill 10,000 holes.
Hashtag woodpeckers at constant.
Let's get that trending.
Owls blank, let them sneak up on the prey. He said will.
Owls will. Owl will. Owls
will. Owls will.
It's their feathers. They have
specially modified feathers which make them
completely silent in flight.
They have these little barbules on there
so that when the air passes over they don't make any noise
at all. So even something like a mouse which has
amazing hearing doesn't hear them coming.
And then when someone does see them they play it off really well they go who
this thing with you who's good who
uh bird bones are different than ours because they are blank jim said hollow
yeah that's right you got one right you got one right okay um uh Okay. We had some bird calls, bird sounds, Jim.
There's one I want you to guess.
There's one I want you to guess because you've had experience with this bird.
Here we go.
I'll be right with this.
Yeah, yeah.
You've seen this bird.
I know you've seen this bird.
Here we go.
That's the drunk northern girl of England.
Ah, I've lost my shoes.
Okay, first one, Jack.
That sounded exactly like this.
One of those has been at your house.
Blue heron.
Yeah, there you go.
Blue heron.
I gave him the hint, though.
I don't know you would have gone otherwise.
Give me the hint.
He sent me a picture of a blue heron standing by his pool one day.
And he goes,
My son was like,
There's a dinosaur in the backyard.
It was tall.
And then he started telling his friends,
It was taller than my dad.
It wasn't tall.
It was like four foot.
It was big.
It was big.
Okay.
Next one.
Second one then.
The 12 second one or the five second one?
The second one on there.
I don't know how long there.
I'm not sure what order they've been playing.
Just play him.
Yeah, just play one.
We'll figure it out.
Sorry about that.
I just farted.
Can you play the sound, please?
Wow, that's pretty.
So pretty.
Little angels come up
and sniff my butthole.
That would be
tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet.
That would be like
some type of
hummingbird or something.
You know what?
I can't hear the sound.
Which one was it?
It was the five second one.
No, what is the name on it?
I don't have a name here.
What do you mean?
I'm playing the files in the goddamn email.
He's been upset about the Dave Grohl thing.
I've never seen this movie.
We've broken him.
Let me see if I can.
It should have like a six letter thing at the start of the name. And if you tell me
what that is, I'll tell you what it is.
I think it was the Boboli. That was the Boboli.
Yes. Bobolink.
That's one of those words where it's actually
using both
voice boxes at the same time. So you can hear it doing
like two songs, one over the other.
Like Michael Boboli.
Okay, one more. Do one more, Jack.
Let's see if you can get...
Whoa. I was not expecting that.
I know which one this one is
when I'm hearing it.
Oh, yeah.
It's the
horny toad bird.
It does sound like that. It starts
with an H. That's one of my
favorites. That's hooded merganser
and that's actually its mating call. So it's like
it's a small duck and it goes
The hooded merganser.
Merganser.
I call it uncircumcised penis.
I get that.
Alright, so this is a part of the show called Dinner Party Facts where we ask I call it uncircumcised penis. Okay. All right.
So this is a part of the show called dinner party facts where we ask our guests to give us a fact or something interesting about the topic that our,
our listeners can use to impress people of their knowledge of the subject.
So what do you got for us?
Yes.
Okay.
So let's see.
Well,
I already gave you a couple of facts that I really like,
which for example,
there are
more
species of life
on Earth than there are stars in the
Milky Way. That's a great one.
Another one that I really like
is
there are...
Well, it depends. Do we want
number ones or do we want
life-backed ones? As long as they're about birds.
We're keeping something about birds.
Yeah, yeah.
We didn't talk a lot about hummingbirds. Anything about
hummingbirds is always amazing to me.
Hummingbirds can fly
backwards and upside down.
Hummingbirds'
wings beat 70 times a minute
and their hearts can beat 1,200
times a minute while they're flying
who made that sound just trying to make a few different noises and actually their resting
heartbeat is can be like 600 beats a minute so resting that's like mine no wonder they live very
long these birds very relaxing very relaxed oh okay So that's another one. How long do birds live? Like the oldest, we actually just found out that there's a albatross that's still laying eggs and she's 70 years old.
Named Ursula Rogers.
We have these birds that, yeah, that can live up to probably, and like you said, Jim, like Paris, they can live up to 100 years old, probably.
So that's a good one.
Oh yeah.
Sorry.
What's that?
Hummingbirds have to eat every 10 to 15 minutes to stay alive.
Yeah.
I mean,
birds alone have the facts are like amazing,
I think.
And they're one of the only birds that can go into torpor,
which is basically hybrid.
It's the kind of hibernation.
If they did it for longer, it'd be hibernbernating i thought it was an easy college to get into
they can just uh they can just turn off basically well thank you very much god for being the website
is scottwhittle.com and he the the book is called warbler guide it's available on amazon anywhere
you get books also the Warbler Guide app.
And then Project Terra. There's a website called terralistens.com. And that's all about that project that you were talking about that you're developing. If there's anything else you want to
say about any of those things before you go? Yeah, check out that Project Terra. We're really
excited about it. We're going to be doing a Kickstarter for it next month. And basically we're selling these devices that we hope people will really
want to have because they sort of connect you to what's going on outside.
But at the same time,
we're hoping to create the largest citizen science network that's ever been
created so that we can monitor bird migration across the U S and also across
the world.
So check it out.
There's a lot of information there.
Okay.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, thanks for being on the podcast, Scott.
Really appreciate it.
If you're ever at a party and someone comes up to you and goes,
do you want to check out some birds?
Yeah, I'd like to do that.
And then the people, you go, well, I don't know about that.
And then you walk away.
That was a weird one.
Okay.
Good night, Australia.