I Don't Know About That - Bonobos

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

Natalia Reagan is a biological anthropologist, primatologist, comedian, host, producer, podcaster, professor, writer, and monkey-chasing weirdo. You may have seen her on Neil deGrasse Tyson’s “StarTalk”, Nat Geo Wild’s "Everything You Didn’t Know About Animals”, History’s “UnXplained”, Travel Channel’s “Paranormal Caught on Camera”, or "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "My Name is Earl". Website: NataliaReagan.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/natalia13reagan/ FB Official: https://www.facebook.com/nataliareaganofficial/ Substack: (Coming soon!) https://nataliareagan.substack.com/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@beholdnatalia?lang=en YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/nataliareagan Twitter: https://twitter.com/natalia13reagan Pre-Save The Doohickeys' "I Wish My Truck Was Bigger" - https://fortybelowrecs.lnk.to/Iwmtwb ADS: BETTERHELP: Visit http://www.BetterHelp.com/IDK today to get 10% off your first month.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. When your schedule is packed with kids activities, big work projects and more, it's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know it makes us happy, it's hard to make time for it. But when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are as important as ever. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash IDK today to get 10% off your first month That's better help H EL P comm slash IDK

Fantasy baseball Fantasy fantasy which one involves elves You might find out And I don't know about that, with me, Jim Jeff. Elves? Yeah, fantasy, I was just checking my fantasy team when the song started, so that's why I said that.

That was the only reason. Yeah. It doesn't have to involve elves, though. Yeah, but they involve zero elves in fantasy baseball. What about those in Altoomba? They involve some in regular fantasy stuff. I can't forget it. There's never been Elves in the Outfield, the movie.

No, but I smell a franchise. Oh yeah, Elves in the Outfield. I know about it. Elves in the Outfield, of course you've watched that. I don't smell that at all. It's a sequel to Angels in the Outfield. Elves are right there with them. Yeah.

Elves don't have wings, sister was just speaking. Dwarves. I believe more in elves than I do in, no dwarves are mythical, they don't exist. But I believe more in elves than I do over, dwarves in the outfield, dwarves in the dugout. I like that. Boom, there's a movie.

Right, what's happening in the dugout? There's a movie. My dad told me there was a leprechaun that lived in my wishing well as a child. Really? Yeah, and we had a little, he was a prop master and he had a little leprechaun that would come out. We haven't introduced you yet,

this is the thing is, because we record the intro before the thing. Oh, sorry. You're just, at this moment now, you're just a crazy woman talking about animals that live in your well. We can introduce Natalia Reagan, she's our guest today. We'll introduce her properly later. I'll introduce her again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because what we do is we always record the guests first so that they can leave if they don't want to be part of the intro. But you've been nice enough to be part of the intro as well. So this is all the intro is. We talk a bit about elves, dwarves in the dugouts.

If someone could make me a poster of that movie and send that to me, I need to see that more than anything. At least two people I know that'll make you that poster out there. So and then your dates, you're going to be. Because like Snow White couldn't have had a baseball team. She could have fielded a basketball team with two subs. Yep. She could have done a baseball team.

That's not bad. No? She could do a baseball team. No she couldn't. She needs two more dwarfs. And that's if none of the dwarfs are injured. She can play. A woman in the male dwarf league?

All right, she can try out, but I'm skeptical. But in the dwarf league, they don't need as many outfielders, and they don't use catchers. Because they need catchers. Why would you need a catcher in the Dwarf? Because the bird returns it. You need a catcher in the Dwarf League more than you need it in the regular league,

because the strike zone is so small. How about this, you don't need any outfielders in the Dwarf League, because they're not going to hit it that far. They're strong. They're all about the strong stops. They're strong. If you get the sweet spot of them. They're strong. They're all about the strong shots. They're strong. They're strong.

If you get the sweet spot of them. They're strong, but they don't have the leverage. Okay, I just make the field smaller. It's the Dwarf League. Everything's smaller. Smaller bats. Smaller balls? No, same size balls. Yeah, it's a hard ball.

You can't make them harder to hit. They're definitely not going to hit. And the bases remain the same size, but they're closer together because they're running. Yeah. Yeah, sure. I think that's fair. Less stolen bases in the Dwarf League.

No, I don't know about that. I imagine that under some of the bases you find gems and... gold. Yeah. Biscuits. He gets the 30, checks under it, gold! No? Okay. Do you want to know your app? What?

Dates? Like dates, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. What am I doing? Right now you're in Australia. You are in Newcastle, Australia. Currently. Alright, Newcastle. The tour's going great.

Yeah, it's going fine. I'll say it later. Well, hello Newcastle people. Hello Newcastle people. When you come back from the tour, you will be on the Charm Offensive Tour with Jimmy Carr. Charm Offensive me and Jimmy Carr are going to be lighting up Canada. Starting September 5th and September 8th and September 13th. He's not a full-sized man.

People have only ever seen him on TV. He's about three foot. He's in full proportion. That's the way he wears his suits. Yeah, he always wears his suits so he looks like a big boy. But he's only little. He's a little little little Jimmy Carr. Little Jimmy Carr. He says a few words and he's like, I'm going to be a little Jimmy Carr. I'm going to be a little Jimmy Carr. I'm going to be a little Jimmy Carr. I's why he wears a suit. Yeah, he always wears the suit, so he looks like a big boy. But he's only little.

He's a little little Jimmy Carr. Little Jimmy Carr. He says offensive things, that's why people go to hit him, and then they go, oh, I can't do that. He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it, he's a kid. So you'll be September 5th through the 8th in Canada

with him, and then September 13th. Massive hands, though. He's like Mickey Mouse. Big, massive hands on his little body, but he hides them behind the clipboard. Like Radar O'Reilly off MASH who had a smaller hand, so he always carried a clipboard. September 13th, the 14th, you'll be with Mark Norman

and Dan Soder in St. Louis. They're full-sized men. Yeah. I think Dan's bigger than you. I never said I was a full-sized man. Actually, I don't know how tall he is. I'm an inch taller than Jimmy Carr. What?

What an optical illusion. People think I'm short, but I'm not short. I'm six foot. But people think I'm short. I was gonna try and put my hand in there. Because I have little legs and a long torso. So proportionally on stage, I look like a short person. And if you got a little TV. I'll zoom back there. Very short person. Go to JimJeffreys.com

you can see all his tour dates. I'm not really sure. Forrest was having me do something. I don't know what's going on. I got little legs. Yeah go to JimJeffreys.com for all the dates and go to ForrestShaw.net. I'll be at the... I can't reach the pedals in me can't. July 30th I'll be at the Punchline in San Francisco. This is August though. Huh? This is August though. Fuckin' night. It was a great show.

August 22nd, I'll be at the Comedy Festival in Montreal. There's the 24th. And my, the Shawesome show at the Hollywood Improv is August 28th. Come out to that. Those have been great. And go to IDCat Podcast on Instagram. And yeah, that's it. JimJeffers.com, 4shaw.net. IDCat Podcast, Instagram and yeah, that's it Jim Jeffries comm for show that net ID cut podcast Jack August 16th New do hickey song. I wish my truck was bigger is coming out We released a demo a bit ago with this the new studio version

But we went back to the studio made it awesome. Eugene Edwards plays on it The bigger smaller truck version Bigger, bigger. Yeah, yeah. How's it improved? Like, has your guitar playing gotten better? How big is this truck? Has it?

Yeah, it's pretty big. Guitar playing's better, drum is better, bass is better, vocals are better, everything's better. And we played to a click, so it's in time this time. What do you mean you played to a... I didn't listen to the first one. Obviously there was a problem. Yeah, what happened?

When you record music today, there's a little click that's in the drummer's ear and everyone has this click so you can all play to this metronome. Back in the old days there was no click so you just kind of felt what was in the room and we tried to do the first... What have they just invented? The click noise? Uh, I don't know when it started but back in the 70s they weren't playing the clicks. You just put the metronome in front of you so you can see it.

You just trust the drummer. Oh, you don't ever trust drummers. No. I've dated a few. Alright, how is Ringo? He's fantastic. No, you can do worse than Ringo. I mean, you know.

He ended up with a Bond girl. With a nose like that, I mean, it's just. That's why the Ku Klux Klan went and protested. They thought he was Jewish. Oh dear Lord. Did you know that? The Ku Klux Klan would protest in protested, they thought he was Jewish. Oh dear lord. Did you know that? The Ku Klux Klan were protesting the gigs because they thought he was Jewish or something like that.

The dumbest people ever. And he wasn't, he was just Ringo. No, he was just Ringo, it's okay. Big noses, I mean Neanderthals had huge noses. I don't know why the people are coming here to protest the show, but we'll give them a hell of a performance. Please welcome our guest, Natalia Reagan. G'day Natalia, now it's time to play...

Yes though, yes though, yes though, yes though, judging a book by its cover. Natalia Reagan, are you related to Ronald Reagan? Who's asking? No, no relation. No, so it's not Ronald Reagan? Not the presidency of Ronald Reagan. It's tough when they're in studio you gotta Any resemblance, please? He was a good-looking man. It is not even made a good-looking woman He's a movie star. Well, like what do you ever you seen bedtime for bongo when he was young? He's fucking good-looking in bedtime to bongo. Yeah, bong. Oh bonzo is a bongo bonzo I think it's but bedtime for Bongo, I always thought. Bedtime for Bongo. I don't think it matters.

Bonzo, I mean, you watch a different movie. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, I don't. That's the sequel. I don't think I'm throwing anyone off. That's his brother. We have no idea what you're talking about. That was his first big movie.

Mm-hmm. I think it was, I don't know. Okay, so is it got to do with sports? No. No, has it got to do with the entertainment business? I mean that's debatable Is it got to do with an apparatus? No Science is involved. Yes, is it a science based thing?

Yes, it's got to do without a space No, you want a space. No. Do you want a hint? No, I'm doing all right. You're getting warmer. He kind of was close earlier. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah, it covers a lot.

Bedtime for Monzo. Monkeys. Evolution. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, yes. Specific kind. Evolution. No, of? Chimps.

Gorillas. Very close. Getting close. Very close. Orangutans. Evolution. No, of? Chimps. Gorillas. Getting close. Getting close. Very close. Orangutans. No. Keep going. Spider monkey.

No. Here's a hint. No. No. Putting the pan in pansexual. Oh, trans monkey. Do you need to be a little. We're talking about bonobos. I don't know what a bonobo is. Oh trans monkeys We're talking about bonobos

Natalia Reagan is a biological anthropologist primatologist comedian host producer podcaster professor writer and monkey chasing Weird Producer, Podcaster, Professor, Writer, and Monkey Chasing Weirdo. You may ask. Why are we doing just the one monkey? We could do all monkeys. Do you specialize in monkeys? Because it's too broad when you do. We can do, I mean, I'm equal opportunity primates. Humans are. Give me two monkeys to do the podcast.

Sure. No, we're doing whatever. I've never heard of this monkey. I'll show you a photo. I'll show you a photo of the monkey so I can go, oh, that one. So then I can... Can I say anything? You can say whatever you want.

You can say whatever you want. Talk whatever you want. I cut you off. I haven't even done your whole intro. You're still reading your credits. That's just a chimp. Exactly. So that's what they used to be called was pig meat chimpanzees, which is rude because

they're there on species. Yeah, I know those ones. Bubbles is one of these. Yeah. Okay. I actually just did a podcast about about bubbles and talking about his propensity for throwing shit But yeah, but no bows the tally Reagan. Yes, you know I keep doing your intro Neil deGrasse Tyson star talk Nat Geo wilds everything you didn't know about animals History is unexplained travel channels paranormal con and camera or everybody loves Raymond and my name is Earl, there you go.

Find her on Instagram and Twitter at Natalia13reagan. Her website is nataliaregan.com. On YouTube, Natalia Reagan, Facebook, Natalia Reagan Official, and TikTok, behold Natalia. Couldn't just get one, huh? But if you go to her website, nataliaregan.com, everything's on there, including there's a trip you're hosting, you can talk about that.

Yeah, I host trips, educational trips, and the next one is to Belize, Belize it or not. There's not gonna be, it's a small island, there's no, the only monkeys there are sea monkeys. We can talk about those, just brine shrimp, but there are spider monkeys. How do they come to life, sea monkeys? Sea monkeys, usually.

They come like, I bought a bag, and I also worked at McDonald's. They're very similar to their dried out onions at McDonald's. Yes, they are. And you add water and then the onions come to life. If you didn't know that the onions at McDonald's are like a bag of toenail clippings. They are, because you, like, okay,

used to be, they're used to the little square ones that you get on the cheeseburger and the hamburger and all that type of stuff. They're just the little square ones. But then the fucking, the quarter pounder used to have like proper toenail clipping ones, the longer ones that used to expand. They go into the bucket, you pour water on them

and then they come to life. They fucking work, man. Dried out onions. It's like tardigrades that can kind of just go through, you know, a bit of a hibernation. You add water mix and you got onions. They're the same as sea monkeys. Now the sea monkeys, have they got a living pulse or are they just... I mean when they're brine shrimp so it's presumably they have a bit of a pulse. They always live in a castle and they have crowns on and there's children that are playing in the sea monkeys.

You wouldn't know this Jack. Get me a poster of an old sea monkey. They don't sell sea monkeys anymore? Comic books don't do anything by mail order anymore we have Amazon this whole idea that you send us a check and we'll send you a thing and we'll send you a this if you cut out this coupon that's over. Right? These are funky looking. No but don't get the comic book advertisement because it was always a family of sea monkeys Mm-hmm, and they were always standing at the, yeah, they're always With their little fingers That's the family right there, they stand in front of a castle and you can have them

and you can have them as pets $25 And so you'd buy a sack of them, shove them in water and then they'd Swim around? They'd come to life They'd come to life and they'd... They'd come to life. They're brine shrimp. They're little, tiny shrimps. You can make a little shrimp scampi,

but probably wouldn't be good eating, but yeah. No, it's one bite. One bite. They'd come back to life with liquid. Okay. Sea monkeys. That's good to know. It's like ladybugs.

Don't ladybugs go dormant for a really long time? I don't think they were really alive. I think they were just wiggling in the water. No. They never had the castle. The kid never went to school. There was never a crown. That's so sad on the yeah Uneducated sea monkey. I like that you think if we added a different type of monkey be crushing his questions I know a lot about sea monkeys. He's crushing sea monkeys Sea monkeys do a podcast on McDonald's onions. I'm fucking the king

You do a podcast on McDonald's onions, I'm fucking the king. Well, I'm gonna ask Jim, you didn't finish about the trip, you said? Belize. Yeah, Belize it or not, come, it's five days in Belize. They've only got sea monkeys. They've got lots of aquatic wildlife, you got three different species of sea turtles, manatees, which are just the hot mermaids of the sea. You've got whale sharks, nurse sharks, all sorts of good stuff, so come for the water activities. Do you think that a manatee's hotter than a mermaid?

I mean, Mermaids got tits in like a female top half, and you're thinking that fat fuck is hotter than a, and then you pointed it at Forrest? Well, no, because a manatee, he studied manatees. We talked about the titties and then armpits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I do not liken him to a manatee.

You did point it. He's a manatee's. Ooh, manatee's. Man who tees. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right, so I'm gonna ask Jim Messeria a question about bonobos and maybe another monkey, we'll say.

And at the end of him answering those, you're gonna grade him on his accuracy, zero through 10. Great. Jackson, grade him on confidence, his is zero already, I'll grade him on how hungry I am. And 21 through 30 bonobos, 11 through 20, Gap? Bonobos is a men's fashion brand. Oh, okay.

They sell suits. I didn't know that. Yeah. Okay, zero through 10, TJ Maxx. I got it. I think fashion is a loose statement. They're a brand. Bonobos.

You wanna take a guess at the scientific name of bonobo? Chimpanzee. Okay. What is the primary difference between bonobos and chimpanzees? Spelling. How many of these do you want to do? Look, there wouldn't be a huge... Okay, so let's say chimpanzees are from Asia and bonobos are from Africa. There you go There's a there's a study good. Yeah, that's pretty good. What is one notable physical characteristic that distinguishes bonobos from chimpanzees? opposable thumbs That's actually a good guess Where are bonobos naturally found in the wild in Africa?

Under trees, okay Where are bonobos naturally found in the wild? In Africa, under trees. Okay. What's it's shady there? There's not many trees. So you go like the Ethiopia, where there's like four trees. All the bonobos are all there under one tree. What is the typical diet of a bonobo in the wild? Well, gorillas, right, vegetarians. And so I would assume that the bonobo is also a vegetarian.

So to be tree, rooty leaves, and berries, and shit like that. That's good. What role does grooming play in bonobo social interactions? When a young bonobo gets an acting job. And you want to be a Nickelodeon kid What unique behavior do bonobos use to resolve conflicts? I know I'll go back to the grooming question. It keeps them clean. They pick the they're always picking stuff off each other monkeys It's the whole thing and it's also it probably be a way for them to find a mate, like,

oh, that guy cleaned me up nice. I'd probably see him. It would have something to do with fucking and to cleaning. And that would be the grooming idea there. And a well-groomed chimp. Maybe, like, you get groomed by, like, a female chimp or a male grooms a female chimp. Maybe you get groomed by a female chimp or a male grooms a female chimp, and then the female chimp, oh, I look really well groomed. But then the relationship goes on

and he sees her going off with other chimps, he grooms her again, but he makes her look, he gives her a bad haircut. Got it. What unique behavior do Bonobos use to resolve conflicts? Throwing shit at each other. Ha. Mm. Mm.

Mm. It's a good thing we don't do that. How do bonobo social structures differ from those of many other primates? Um, they don't have bachelor parties. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ha. Ha. Because they don't marry. Oh, OK, so let's say that they're not monogamous. Okay. And nor are we, but we give it a go. They don't even bother putting the effort in. Yeah.

Okay. What do you spell monogam? J-A-C-K. A instead of I there, but you're close there. Why are bonobos often referred to as the hippie apes? Because they're stoned all the time. There'd be a stone, there'd be some root that they eat, maybe like the carver root or something like that,

and then that makes them stoned, and they just sit around like, what the fuck, I don't care. Okay. And also, opposable thumbs so they can masturbate easier. Tools? If they use tools, what do they use? I'm sure that they use a stick to dig a hole and then there'd be also throwing sticks which are similar to that of spears.

But I would say that they would use a rudimentary spoon slash fork, spork. A spork? Yeah, like a twig with a bit off the end, a spork type thing. They invented the spork. Yeah, they would pick things up with a stick, put it in there.

What is a typical life span for a bonobo? A life span for a bonobo in the wild and then in captivity. See, I never know, sometimes captivity's longer and sometimes captivity's shorter. And then it all depends on predators. These have been groomed, haven't they? Yeah. Yeah.

Don't go to zoos. Yeah, don't go to zoos. See the bonobo exhibit, keep your kids away. I would say, they always seem, I would say 50 in captivity, seven in the world. Um, how do bonobos differ from humans in terms of social behavior? Um, less verbal.

Yeah. Uh, they, I've never seen one play a board game. Uh, they don't even know what one was. They don't order their food in a recipe. It's all rudimentary just... All the parts. Having carrot. Having carrot with anything. No carrot. Carrots. No cook. Yeah, don't let... basically my sons are Benovo. Don't let the food touch each other. I'll eat everything but it all has to be separate in segments. Okay.

So they, those, yeah, they would be happy with those trays that you get in prison when you get the food. Or a bento box. You know what I mean? I didn't envision that at all. And they also, they don't watch TV, but they do listen to music, so that's the same. They like to dance, but they dance like people are watching them.

Humans dance like no one's watching. That's one of their unique skills. I was dancing like people were watching you. Little stiffer. Little, little stiffer and you don't do like crazy moves. And you don't, you keep your section of the dance floor.

No big spins. A lot of shoulder like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe some toe tapping. Okay, a couple more questions. What has genetic research revealed about the relationship between humans, bon bonobos and chimpanzees? That we're all the same Except for small differences like the dancing. Yeah, okay last question. What threats do bonobos face in the wild? You look at me like that again can't they'll smack your head in

It's the same You look at me like that again, cunt, and I'll smack your head in. It's the same as human threats. It's very specific. Same as human threats. Hey, that's my bit. Don't look at my girl, I'll fuck you up. It's another bonobo threat. Natalia, how did Jim do it as an algebra no, but- No, it would be, the threat would be,

in the wild, there'd be some animal that's bigger than him that tries to eat him. Let's say a lion. Lion. Okay. How did Jim do in his knowledge of bonobos 0 through 10? 10's the best. I would say probably 6. There was moments where he like it was like he was kind of you're getting there. I'm not upset with that. I never painted myself as a monkey expert. If you ask me unique traits about humans, I couldn't fucking answer you. Yeah.

Six is solid, yeah. I would go five, actually. I'm over you. Yeah, yeah, you're being too nice. I'm being too nice. Okay, five. It's a problem. Jack, confidence?

I think he inched his way back up to a three from a zero. Three, that's eight. All right. All right, I'm pretty hungry. It's like 10. Jack confidence? I think he inched his way back up to a three from a zero. Three, that's neat. All right. All right, I'm pretty hungry. It's like 10, so 13. No, 18, gap, still gap. Still gap. Not gonna say a lot of us.

What is the scientific name of a bonobo? Panpeniscus. I call them panpromiscuous, and we'll get to that in a minute. Whoa. The grooming. Yeah, they put the pan in pansexual. One of my points.

And why are they called pan? No, because chimpanzees are also pan as well. Oh, because of the pan. But what's the pan stand for? What does that mean? Why is Peter called Peter Pan? Peter Pan, well. Why are we cooking pans?

Yeah, why are we cooking pans? He came after the peanut butter that he came after himself. What is the pan handling area of Florida? Pan generally means all, so that's why. That's what I'm saying, yeah. It means all and then to make it's. So Peter, Peter all. Peter, yeah.

He's all Peters. Peter, I think identifies with all pronouns, so I think that's why Peter Pan. The old piper. You know, Sandy Duncan played Peter Pan, so I think that's. Yeah, I thought pan meant all too, but then I didn't get in this internet It could be wrong, but it says in Latin it means small chimpanzee Well for pan paniscus yeah that makes sense, but the latin did the latins have chimps

No, the how do they know where they are if you would like to the latins fans of the chin because there's no Latin word for koala because didn't know about koalas, right? So who is this Latin kind of who traveled to the chimps? I don't know, man. Must have been early on. Yeah, somehow he saw everything. He was naming it before they were called chimpanzees.

Yeah. It's got to go in early. I don't know if I know this word. Fast, fast, cholera, choler, geez. What's it? Fast, choler, calarctus. Fast, calarctus. Fast, calarctus, cenuris.

That's the koala. Is the name for, is that the? That's the Latin for koala. That's dumb. That's, why would they do that? When did they name that? Koala's much easier. We can figure that out.

Was Carl Linnaeus in on that? Koala was only discovered by the Western world like 240 years ago, so the Latin wanna sweep in. That's not how genus species work. There wasn't a Latin guy going around fighting. No, it was generally the collection and then. Why does the Latin get it? Why do they get to name things?

What have they done that's so fucking impressive throughout history? It's sort of having a universal, so everything is spelled. Do they own nuclear weapons? How many times do you think we've had this discussion on this podcast? Yeah. I think zero, I don't think I've ever heard of it.

About six probably. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll find them, we'll do a super cut. This is new for me. We've done this several times. Anytime we do an animal, we're always like, why the Latins get to do this?

The Latins, yeah. What gives them the right? Well, it's just a universal naming process makes it easier. There's still naming species left and right. They're still discovering new species. I hosted a Bigfoot show the other day. You know what their name is now?

Good. Quail is much better than Aculoceros, Polyus or whatever the fuck we just called it. Silly names. Same with medicines. Medicines should all be named after what they do. Head, hurt, stop. Do you know what a gorilla's scientific name is? I think you'll appreciate this.

It's gorilla, gorilla, gorilla. Just, it says what it is. Gorilla, gorilla, gorilla. Gorilla, gorilla, gorilla. Western lowland gorillas. They're upfront about that one. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. When your schedule is packed with kids activities,

big work projects and more, it's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know it makes us happy, it's hard to have your priorities slip. Even when we know it makes us happy, it's hard to have time for it. But when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are as important as ever. I have always used therapy throughout my life and I have always found it help.

And I would safely say that without therapy, I don't think I would be here right now. From childhood trauma to things that have happened recently. Therapy for me works. If you're thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched up with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash IDK today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash IDK.

What is the primary difference between bonobos and chimpanzees? Jim said where they're from. Well they're actually, that is partially correct because actually chimpanzees and bonobos are on two different sides of a river and that's actually how they evolved. I don't wanna share too much. You can share as much as you want. You can jump ahead. I'll jump ahead.

So we basically, we have a common ancestor with chimpanzees and bonobos roughly six million years ago. So as hominins were evolving, all our ancestors, whether it's Homo erectus, Homo habilis, the australopithecines, but six million years ago is when we share a common ancestor with chimps and bonobos. And then we went on our evolutionary trajectory and they went on theirs.

And about two million years ago during the formation of the Congo River system, they split off because chimps were on one side of the river and bonobos on the other. So they are, they do have a geographical divide. So you were right there. But chimps are not in Asia unless they're in a zoo or Bubbles was being taken there by Michael Jackson, but they're all in Africa. So chimpanzees you have in West and Central Africa and East Africa and bonobos are just in the Democratic Republic of Congo, formerly Zaire. There you have it. I've seen a lot of baboons in the wild. Yeah. Where?

South Africa, there's tons of them. Tons of them. They go through the people, get out of my bins. I have to put a special baboon rock on that bin because the bloody baboons Get out They come out with a broom and they sweep them off and you're like fuck it. That's the most exotic thing I've ever seen Yeah, and bloody baboons. You might have seen them have sex on people's cars, too Sometimes those up on different and they're very quick. I actually they're big red ass hanging off of them Yeah, and generally that the I actually know the chapter. They have their big red ass hanging off of them.

Yeah, and generally, unless it's a homodryis baboon, that ass is usually a female's sexual swellings. It looks like a big bum to me. It's a big red bum. Yeah, I mean it is technically where the bum would be, but you know. I always want to put like baby powder on it. It looks like it's, you know.

You know, I'm not gonna yuck your yum. Whatever, I'm not kink shaming here. Whatever works for you, Forrest. Baby powder is an anomaly of society that it still gets sold because it somewhat causes cancer. Yeah, it's, women have been getting ovarian cancer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, because it puffs up like that and then it lines your lungs and it gets in.

But when I was a kid, that was the best stuff to use. And like, you know, you see movies, like that, right? Oh, I'm covered in baby powder. But it's like there's class-action lawsuits against baby power No, yeah, yeah, baby powders on the outs neither of my kid had baby powder Asbestos, baby powder But asbestos stopped getting sold baby powders still rocking it out And then when you use baby powder for certain things to dry things out does work

Yeah, yeah, just use a blow dryer. Or Gold Bond. Hmm. Don't even know what that is. Yeah, that's an old- It's like adult baby powder. Shaq loves it. No, baby powder's on the outs.

All right, sorry baboons. Or that's a good way to get them off your trash cans. Get them all cancer, baby powder. It's a long-term cancer thing. Yeah, don't do that. It's a long con, yeah. It's a long game. Yeah. You'll probably move house by then. You're just helping the next people. Those are all the differences, bonobos, chimpanzees, or is that?

Oh, it was that the difference between the two and just in general? No, there's more. But wait, so bonobos and chimpanzees, bonobos used to be called pygmy chimpanzees because they're actually a bit more smaller than chimps, not by much. They're more grass-isle, mean they're more thinly built. They're kind of like the models, they're very like Victoria's Secret. They have longer forelimbs, I'm sorry, hindlimbs than forelimbs, compared to chimps, so their legs

are a little bit like the leggier of the pan species. So they're more fuckable, the bonobos. Absolutely. Whatever, again, you know, to taste your pickle. Not as fuckable as those baboons. With their fucking big red pussies hanging out. They're fucking asking for it, aren't they? Well, bonobos have that as well.

You get my bins, you'll know all about it. Bonobos have it too. Bonobos also have good sumptuous sexual swelling. So, you know. Sumptuous sexual swelling? Yeah, you know. Sumptuous sexual swelling? Yeah, say that 10 times fast. It's hard enough to say it once. Yeah, so chimps have it too,

but females have very large sexual swellings. They also have instead of- Where does the swelling happen? It happens down below. So if it's red and it's hanging out, that means they're up for it? That means that the female erection? It's generally, yeah, it's when they're ovulating

and they're ready to get freaky deaky with the meals. They always look grumpy when they've got the big bums. I mean, you'd be a little grumpy too, maybe, or maybe that's what the dudes are into. No, they're up for fucking. Probably they're on heat. They'd probably be excited. Well, interesting.

Should try to dress herself up a bit more. You're not gonna get laid with that fucking face, love. Like, you gotta cheer up. Bonobos also are not only getting down when it's... when it's that time. They get down all the time. Oh, I'd be grubby then if the other like's pestering me. I'm trying to get shit done.

Yeah. Big bum's not red yet. No. No, they gotta wait it out. Exactly. You'll know when it's ready. When the full moon is ready to go. Don't ask me again.

They also have a sweet hairdo party down the middle. I don't know if there's any pictures of a fantastic, they look like a 1990s boy band member. Dwight Schultz. Dwight Schultz, Alfalfa from, I mean that's really dating myself. But they also, the way they settle conflict, can I go into this yet?

You can go into whatever you want, yeah. So chimpanzees and bonobos, the big difference is their behavior. So chimps are known when they are faced with conflict for being a bit more aggressive, they can be violent, even to the point of killing one another, whereas bonobos, can I curse on the show? Yeah.

Instead of, so bonobos are, chimps are known to kind of fight it out, where bonobos really fuck it out. That is how they deal with all conflict, right? And it's not just males and females getting down with each other. Females will do a thing called Gigi rubbing, which I just, primate scissoring, where they rub their vajay FKs together, their lady bits.

Males will do a thing called penis fencing. Yes, that is the scientific term. You're welcome, I'm sorry, where it's basically sword fights. They take their tummy sticks and they rub them together. And that is the scientific term. You're welcome. I'm sorry. Where it's basically sword fights. They take their tummy sticks and they rub them together. And that is a way... How do they determine who wins that? I mean, I think everyone wins.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think everyone wins. Everyone just calms down. Everybody comes and calms. I can tell you who's going to win before they... Before they even begin. Yeah, yeah. I'll go, that guy's the winner. And Dr. Amy Parrish is... Ah, yeah, she bloody does that, doesn't she? She knows everything. Oh, no, I'll go that. I was the winner. And Dr. Amy Parrish is...

Ah, yeah, she bloody does that, doesn't she? She knows everything. Oh, no, she knows things. She doesn't do that. No, no, no, she watches. I don't know. So you've never had a fight with her and... No, we've never gone there. What would that look like? I mean, I, you know, for the right amount.

No, she's fantastic. She studied bonobos and she actually saw that females were preferring to have relations with females over males because it was a guaranteed get off. You know, just like you know you're gonna get your oh whereas vaginal penetration doesn't always do it for us. No, it does not. That's it. I would argue that that's a design fault. Yeah. It should. It should. I can't do more. I can do other things. That's what wedge pillows are for. I can do other things before and afterwards.

But then as soon as I invented that rabbit hanging off the side of a dildo and there was a vibrating bit hanging off there, I only got the pokey bit, I don't have the side bit. Like I can't be playing, like oh man, can't get me off. You guys have over spoilt yourself with toys. you've gone too far in the other direction. We're obsolete. I mean, I'm not gonna argue with you. I can never, I can never meet a thing, beat a thing with pearls going like this.

With another thing vibrating over the edge. There's a surgery out there. And here I am with my standard sock and you're all acting fucking disappointed. It's like I'm only doing what I can do. Yeah, yeah. It's way ahead of way before AI did they make us obsolete. Well now we know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you're driving in a fucking Lamborghini and I'm on one of those things in the train truck. You do this with. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to your destination. Sorry. That's the perfect one. That is, yep. A little hand cart. Yeah, they actually have found too that we talk about, this is a little sidebar, but the clitoral orgasm versus a G-spot orgasm are pretty much the same thing because the clitoris is so deep, it goes so deep that when you have a vaginal orgasm, it's just kind of hitting the clit at a different angle.

Right, right, right. So that's why I'm like, angles, angle, it's like photography, you gotta find your angle. It's so weird that when a woman easily comes, she is applauded. What a wonderful human being. When a man easily comes, he's a piece of shit. He doesn't deserve love. An embarrassment.

A blemish on society. A woman, oh, this woman, she came five times. Oh, man, I came five times before I came. Get rid of him. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

What is, I know we've gone through some of these. Where they found naturally in the wild. Imagine if we got into female premature ejaculators like that. Ha ha ha. She comes right away, I put my cock in, she's already come. I have heard men complain about that. I'm not even kidding. Really? Yes, because they're like, because they haven't had their full fun and I was like, really?

That is a problem? Why? I've never had a premature ejaculator. When I was in my early 20s, I was a premature ejaculator. That's the rite of passage. Yeah, I can't even cum now, right? I can, but there's a lot of focus. It's a lot of, right? That's what you gotta watch. Do you eat the little rabbit with the pearls? Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of like, say this sentence now!

Anyway, so. But the- You've become a woman. Yeah, yeah. I like that. But when I was a premature ejaculate, people complained, but it's not like I fucked, I premature ejaculated and then called it a day.

You just, I just fucked again. And then when I got into like my third fuck around, I was out of cum and I was giving some good, you know, some good track and field times. I applaud your efforts, but that's not standard necessarily. What's the complaint with the premature ejaculator? I don't know. I mean with men or with females? With men. I think, I mean, and I don't have that, that's not my personal complaint at the moment, but I think it's when

it's like, okay well I'm done, that was nice, I'm gonna go make me a sandwich and it's just like, we just got started. I want to say this to all the young fellas who are premature ejaculators, count it as a blessing. Come quickly and then fuck again quickly. That's my secret for you. And to the women, once he comes quickly, don't just go, like just go, we're doing it again, right? With a smile, encouraging him.

And then he'll do it again. That's nice, yeah. If everyone's friendly to each other, the premature ejaculator will rule supreme. So you're saying to be more like a bonobo? I wouldn't sword fight with me dick very much, but I do, I still to this day enjoy urinating with another person when you're splashing this thing

like that, I do. Enjoy that. This is a great office place. I bet this is... There's no way jarred apartments. Do you have a trough? A lot of lousy troughs are on the way. I'm just seeing a urinal trough where it's just a...

Yeah, see this is a difference between Australians and Americans. Oh, go on. Americans, for the most part, need individual urinals and they like a little barrier in between. Very precious about these dicks, Americans. Yes. Australians. I had Australia, it's just a trough. It's just a trough. It's a trough. It's a little barrier in between. Very precious about their dicks, Americans. Yes. Australians.

I had Australia, it's just a trough. It's just a trough. It's a trough. It's a straight up trough. You walk up, you stand next to each other, and then you piss on, you try to make a urinal cake go down as far to the left as you can. Give yourself a little target or something like that.

I've never wanted to be an Australian man more in my life. And it's courtesy you to sort of look up. I forgot about it until I was there a couple months ago. I was like, ah, the trough system. The trough system's the best. Do you have that here? Did you make sure they had that here? I have seen a trough, I think maybe at a sporting event? There's a couple places.

Some concert venues have them still. But in Australia, that's your bog stand and we all step up to the trough. And this is from a very young age. This is at school. And like, you know, boys to children to everybody, we all trough it up, right? We put ice in it too sometimes. They do put some ice in it. Who is that, sir? I'm not quite sure.

It's the same thing, it's fun to melt it. Yeah, you melt it and the steam comes up. I think it helps it make nuts smell bad. I hope so. But there's urinal cakes and they put, I think it also stops with, if you put tubes, it stops with splashback being as aggressive as it was. Cause we had that guy who put that plastic, there's a thing, you haven't been into a men's urinal.

You don't know that. For a while, I assume. I put this, they've got this plastic mats now that they put in the little, you know the white urinals that just against the wall, the standard American one, and that stops it from splashing, there's little rubber bits and stuff. That invention, very good. Yeah, you're right Jack, it says the ice helps freeze the odor causing molecules in the urine which help prevent odors from being really so the certain molecules that cause it. Yeah, if things don't smell in the urine which helped prevent odors from being early. So the certain molecules that cause it. Yeah, things don't smell in the freezer. Yeah. Where are bonobos naturally found in the wild?

Oh, so a Democratic Republic of Congo on one side of the Congo River. Just quickly, I think we should have a trough for all as well because there's a lot of debates about the toilets. Should I admit something on the topic? There's a lot of debates. There's a lot of debates. Well, I've just- I've used a trough urinal once before because there was no place to pee. I designed one for women. You did? Yes. Go on. Okay. It's a deep trough. There's stairs at each end. Yeah. Right. And then you, you, and it's thin, but you walk up onto a platform. So it goes, there's a trough down the middle and then there's a little platform at the sides. I'm making it deep so it doesn't splash back and then you will just stand and you'll you walk over it

You piss while you're walking till you get to the other end jeans Fuck I will say this real ladies forest. Did you say we're supposed to pee while walking you can well Not work with the way it will Will with the trough. What if it's a treadmill and it's like one of those moving walkways? No, it's just straight down.

It's like a straight down draw. And there's stairs to get up. And then your feet are on either side of the platform. And then maybe you can come from both ends and meet at the middle and chat. Because you like to go to the bathroom together. Where do we put our under... do we just pull it to the... how? Yeah, the underwear.

The garments. Oh, I've never dated a woman who wears them. Oh, okay. Well, that's something. So, you have to... I can't do all the fucking work. I'm going to find some engineers. The trough. You've got to redesign the clothing because the trough's fine. The trough works.

Like the she-wee, they've tried different things. I have the she-wee. What's she-wee? The she-wee is for music festivals. It's a cardboard cone that you put up near the piss hole, so it makes the woman feel like they have a dick. Not feel like they have a dick, but they can exit the piss out into a thing.

In an orderly fashion. It's so that they can use troughs at festivals and portaloos without having to sit on the actual toilets. It's cardboard though? They use, yeah. No, I have a plastic one. But they have a 70% version. The festivals, they give the cardboard one, single use.

So years ago, I've got- You don't want that plastic one. You have to put fucking ice in your handbag to make it smell good. I started going to Burning Man many- Thanks, Jack. Thanks. Someone lives a listen. I started going to Burning Man many years ago

and there's a pee funnel camp that was before She-We and it was just like a bad solo cup and I still have my original one. It's disgusting. I'm telling too much, but it actually has sock monkey duct tape to hold it together, but they just took plastic tubing into a solo cup

and it works like a charm. Yeah, it's great. You need a Gatorade bottle and you're good to go. Look, yeah, the seaweed, look that's the luxury piece. It is. That's the luck. That's when you're really going, many would argue over engineered. Many. Just need a solo cup. Yeah. It's tubing. Let's go. You just need a solo cup and a pin Solo cup, some tubing, let's go. You just need a solo cup and a pin to put at the bottom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like a belt to strap it, and then that's the walking pisser.

The what? Forget the trough, we don't need that anymore. It'll drip out incrementally, and people won't even know you've done it. Yeah, you could use that for men and women. Yeah. Ah, that'd be ridiculous. You'd sweat too much in your cock and balls

in a solo cup. And wouldn't it kill, you know, turtles? Yeah, they need definitely need ice in there. Yeah, I want to buy it a gradable. I want to buy it a gradable. So a coffee cup, a coffee cup with like those handles on the side in case it gets too soggy. You know those little cardboard handles that come out? Yes. Okay. So Democratic Republic of Congo, right? What's our second? Democratic Republic of Congo? I'm not sure anymore. That is where you can find Bonobos. Okay, we got that one.

Dominican Republic. I wish. Democratic Republic of Congo. Democratic Republic of Congo. Congo. Ah, that's... Formally, it was Zaire. And is that where they invented the line because of all the Congo?

It was just because of the Congo. No. The Congo line. The Congo. It was just because of the, no. The Congo. The Congo. Like that. It's Conga, Conga. If only. Isn't the Conga and the Congo the same place? No.

One's Latin, one's African. What does one notable physical characteristic that distinguishes bonobos from chimpanzees? Oh, you kind of talked about it. Yeah, yeah. Longer legs. Four limbs are nice. Big red pussy.

Or hind limbs, my gosh, my brain. Typical diet of bonobo in the wild, Jim said berries and shit. They do eat a lot, they're not strictly vegetarian. They're kind of like us, we're technically opportunistic omnivores, but they generally do eat a lot of bark, fruits, they prefer fruits, things like that, vegetation,

and when they're having issues with actual parasites, you know, nematodes or they will swallow leaves to kind of help slough that out. Gorillas will do the same but yeah they're primarily vegetarian. They're not as a chimps can do a lot of hunting. What role does grooming play in bonobo social interactions? Jim said this stuff about child acting but then said cleaning each other. No it's true I mean a lot of of it is cleaning one another but it's also a great way of forming bonds with one another. I always envied when I was in primary school, like lower school, when you see girls would

be plaiting each other's hair. That must be fun way to chat. Yeah. Cool. Because there's no things with guys where you... You could groom each other's mustaches. Yeah, Cool, because there's no things with guys where you. We could groom each other's mustaches. Yeah, I can pick through that if you want. I don't believe in grooming mustaches. Mustaches are about being tough.

You know what I mean? If I ever have to get the little thing and trim it. I grow it to this thing, and then my next thing will be to shave it off. I'll do Hitler for two or three days at home. That's gotta be fun. Yeah, it's the best! Right. You

can do it with a bit. You can do it with a bit of boot polish, right? Extremely partial blackface it's called, right? It's not as effective and you just put it underneath extremely partial. 2%. Yeah, 2% blackface. Do you ever do a Stalin? Oh, no, he's too handsome. He's too easy. I can't pull it off. Yeah. I can. I can pull it. Stalin was... Stalin handsome?

Put the picture of young Joseph Stalin. Oh yeah, yeah. There's a picture of young Joseph Stalin. He would smash pussy young Stalin. Yeah, he looks like he lives in Silver Lake. Yeah. I think this guy made me coffee today. Oh my god. It's a lot, it's a lot to take. His hair is, this is before Popesha or whatever,

Stalin's hair. His hair is fantastic. You just do the Reich moves, that's your thing. So you're talking about grooming. Yeah, so grooming is, it's a way, same with like the sexual activity, it's a way, it's very transactional in many ways that human sex is, it's like like I'll tickle your pickle you will

tickle mine it's a great way to form certain bonds that hair is something else I've told people this I am the most convincing Hitler once you see it you can't I can't unsee it. I'm telling you, go little mustache. Oh, shit. I could do him in a movie. Put me side by side. You're too tall.

The head, yeah, that's the problem. I'm too tall. Oh. I'm not asking to play Shaquille O'Neal in a movie. It's not like that was what he was known for. Yeah, they made the hobbits smaller. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there you go.

Hitler's too tall, he's towering over Goebbels. All your supporting actors, make sure they're six foot five, and then you'll look proportional. I'm a good public speaker. I'm not saying I could just, I could play Hitler in a movie, but I could also be Hitler.

I've got everything it takes. You have a bunch of Hugo Boss at home. Oh, so much Hugo Boss. I've got a lot of brown shirts. Great. They started off as white. Unfortunately you don't have the opinions on the sweater. What unique behavior do bonobos use to resolve conflicts?

Jim said they throw shit. Yeah, I mean, unless that's foreplay, but no, they do the sex, they do the sexy time stuff. Yeah. So sex isn't what they use. Yeah, sex is the way to fuse sexual contact. Grooming is also a way, and just so you know, so when a female, what really determines

usually how bonds are made in primates, it's usually who leaves the natal group. So like say for instance, you start off with a group of males and females, and if the males stay in the group, the females leave, they don't have a chance to really form good friendships in the new group. You know, it's kind of like going to a new school and you have to make new friends and you never quite do.

But with bonobos, they're an anomaly. The females still leave the group, but what they do is they find the highest ranking female, think like, and the oldest highest ranking female, like the Holland Taylor, like an older lesbian lady, show her the best two weeks of her life and then she's in. She's solid, she's good to go because she's, you know, knocked her socks. And their big red pussies

never dry up, they're always good? Uh, no, they're not always swollen, but they're always generally down to get funky, so. Yeah, they're ready to go. They're ready to, you know, they're in it. You have to throw some ice in there to get rid of the ice. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ah, I don't know what they do. You can fuck your way to the top in Bonobo's world. You can fuck your way to the top. Wow. And the middle. It's just like Hollywood. Yeah, yeah. Ah, and you've still got this job, Jack.

I haven't done it. Should I put out? Should I put out? I don't put out. Jack is fucked. He's right at the bottom. Jack, ah. I'm fucking the wrong people.

Start grooming Jim right now. There. That's the other way around. Oh, I'm fucking the wrong people. Start grooming Jim right now. That's the other way around. Oh, that's true. Why could groom someone better than this? Yeah, you can do better. How do bonobos' social structures different from those of other primates? Okay, so like I said, they diffuse all conflict

through the sexy time stuff. They love to bone it out. Dr. Amy Parrish noticed that when she was studying all these binobos on different zoos and sanctuaries, a lot of the males were showing injury, like they had you know cuts and bruises and wounds and things like that, and she realized well there's not other males in there, who's doing this? And they found that it was the females that were controlling and dominating the males and it was through this. Yeah, so the ladies run run the show so basically they found that they are what is closest to a

matriarchal society that you could find in non-human primates where the ladies are the dominant ones they control access to food the males are the ones that are exchanging sex for food versus you know chimpanzees where males will generally have the first crack at food and females will give it up to hopefully get some prostitution is in the animal Oh, yeah transact. Well sex is transactional. Yeah, like like in penguins and their pebbles or whatever Yeah, always given a rock exactly get your rocks off What got you into monkeys like you were you comedian first or a monkey person first? Good question

I used to have recurring King Kong nightmares as a little child and I when I got to... You were King Kong or you were held by King Kong on top of the building? He ate me. He would kill me. He'd kill my whole family. It was a real dick move. Until my very first lucid dream I was eight and I was in the house. I had the same dream with Flipper. You did? Yeah. They're very gay. We won't go into that. They found their special porpoise. Extra hole.

Yeah. Blowhole sex. All right. So you were being eaten by King Kong. So then my first lucid dream was actually shrinking King Kong to the size of an orangutan, and I was in the house from Ricky Schroder's Silver Spoons, and I remember opening the door an orangutan was doing. You were on Silver Spoons? No, in my dream.

Yeah, and I wish, no. It's almost as good. But I remember it, yeah, it was almost as good. You have other sitcom credits, so like when you go, I was on Ricky Schroder's Silver Spoons, I have to assume you are. I was a child actor, yeah, no, not this time. But no, I ended up wanting to become a zoologist,

but I was not doing so great in math and science in high school, so I pivoted, and if I couldn't chase monkeys, I was gonna do the next best thing, which was comedy. And I dropped out of school and was acting, and then I got hit by a truck when I was 25 on the shoulder of the 101 freeway. Yeah, 65 miles per hour.

So. How did you, were you in a car? No. That would have been luxury. You got hit by a truck. I love when people ask me, or tell me, I tell them I got hit by a truck. They're like, I got hit by a truck.

I was in a car. I was like, first mistake. You know, I was not in a car. Yeah, I rear-ended someone on the shoulder of the freeway. They pulled over onto the shoulder. I pulled over behind them and I knew it was dangerous. asked them can we get off the freeway but there were three guys in town from Japan on business and didn't speak English How do you know they're in town for business then? Because I found out later yeah yeah

I just they're just like no English and I was like okay cool go grab your insurance and wallet. And you re-rendered them? I re-ended them. That breaks the stereotype doesn't it? Yeah right. I am a woman. That's good. I am a woman. So yeah so I went to go grab my insurance couldn't find it was on the phone with my brother waiting between the two my truck and my car. Wait a minute so they hit you you're out cold. No no no you're hit by a truck. Yeah you gotta get it. Follow me for a second. Okay. So I'm standing between I'm on the phone with my brother on hold waiting for him to grab the insurance I'm standing between my pickup truck and the phone with my brother on hold waiting for him to grab insurance.

I'm standing between my pickup truck and a car I rear ended and a woman came up on the shoulder going 65 miles per hour and hit my truck, my truck hit me, broke my femur, pinned me between my truck and the car. And then the way it hit, it spun out and I got tossed onto the off ramp and I landed on my head which explains a lot. And yeah, so that's how I got hit by my own truck.

And she had, it was a freak accident, she had balloons in her car, opened the sunroof, they covered her face and she had no idea. So that's a great way to go balloons. Yeah, I almost, yeah, that was, I came very close to buying the farm. And then when I woke up, I was standing on a TV show and I was like, what the fuck are you doing with your life?

Go back to school, study monkeys. Be the weirdo you always wanted to be. How long did it take for you to recover? Well I didn't have health insurance so I had to recover quickly and so I went back to work three months later but I worked with a leg brace and I couldn't walk without a cane for a while and then I finally you know I was able to run maybe six, eight months later. It was unadvisable because I had a big... I don't know if I can run now. I'm a runner, so I still...

Oh, you went back to running. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm missing this muscle, so all the field work... What do you mean missing your muscle? Your leg looks like, oh, you got a little cut there. No, no, but you see that big fat muscle right there? That's like for soccer players, I don't have it here. Whoa.

Yeah. That's great. So that big brown thing, that's my birthmark. But so that muscle's responsible. You weigh less? Exactly. If I was a wrestler, I would have been like, Yeah, there you go. Put some onions on it.

That's good. But yeah, that's how. And then I, yeah, so I went back to school because I was like, I'm going to go study anthropology, primatology, and I wanted to study gorillas, but it was too dangerous to- For that fucking woman in the mist. Exactly, Diane Fosse.

She's got it on the lockdown, hasn't she? No, she's dead. Jane Goodall? No, that's Diane Fosse. I was talking about- Jane Goodall is amazing. I've met her three times. Jane Goodall's still alive. She's the best, best, best.

So the one in the mist that Brian Brown shagged- Diane Fosse. Yeah, that's Diane Fosse. Brian Brown, did the bone hurt? Brian Brown was the male lead in Oh yes. In The Thrillers in the Mist. With Sigourney Weaver, yes. Not in real life.

I was like wow, that's. Sigourney Weaver was, yeah. I tried to make Brian Brown my dad in a sitcom once. What happened? He said yes, cause he's Australian, he said yes. Yeah. But he said he'll only do two episodes and then we can kill him off.

Cause he's not that interested in, you know. Sitcoms. Doing a sitcom, he said yes. But he said he'll only do two episodes and then we can kill him off. Because he's not that interested in doing a sitcom. He only does the occasional movies. He's an old bloke, he lives on a beach in Australia and he's like, you don't wanna fuck it. And he goes, yeah, and he's like, I'll do it, but just like a couple of episodes and then kill me off. And I'm like, but that's not the spirits of sitcoms. Is it?

You go in that early in a sitcom and then you're like, everyone loves the character and then dad's dead All right, why why are bonobos often referred to as hippie apes well the fucking I mean the boning is really where it's you know Where you want to hippies fuck a lot? Um, I mean I know that they're like free love and stuff But I've dated some hippies that they don't fuck that much. Okay I've dated some hippies that they don't fuck that much. It's too stoned to fuck. That's a wrong stereotype. Yeah, marijuana's not a good fucking.

They should be called the rave monkeys. The rave monkeys. People have to raves fuck like crazy. The promiscuous horde, I mean, it's like orgy. The doof doof monkeys. If you've been to Burning Man, it's like orgy dome in the forest, really. I'll tell you what band fucked a lot, the monkeys.

They could be called the monkey monkeys. The monkey monkeys. Really, Mickey Dolan band fucked a lot. The Monkees. They could be called the Monkey Monkees. The Monkey Monkees. Did they, really? Mickey Dolan's? Davy Jones. Davy Jones. Davy Jones got it a lot. Davy Jones was drowning in pussy.

Drowning in it. I believe it. I had a crush on him when I, the reruns. He was on the Brady Bunch. Yeah. And the funny thing about Davy Jones, he was just like 5'2 and he was the most desired one, see? Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter with height when they're a pop star. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't really get. But yeah, so the, but the hippiness also the, the amount of aggression. So chimpanzees are known for being more violent. Although a new recent study came out showing that bonobo males can be, are actually a little bit more violent than chimpanzee males.

It's just a lighter touch. They're not killing each other. And they think the reason why that is, is because the hierarchy of chimpanzee males is so incredibly important that if you're gonna be violent to like an alpha or someone that's a little bit above you, you are asking for trouble

because coalitions and coups happen in the chimpanzee worlds. Whereas bonobos, funny thing, people will argue that it isn't a matriarchy, that the males are actually, there are dominant males, but that's the thing. The dominance of a male is directly related to the dominance hierarchy of his mother. So it still comes down to the female.

So if a dude's mom is high up in the hierarchy, he's gonna be doing okay. In fact, the mom will play wing woman. Yep, yeah, exactly. He's kind of a, I mean, I don't subscribe. He's a bonobo. He's. Bonobo. I've never heard it said that way. Bonobo, bon, exactly. He's kind of a, I mean, I don't subscribe. He's a bonobo. He's. Bonobo.

Bonobo, I've never heard it said that way. Bonobo, bonobo. Bonobo. But yeah, so the males. Bippity boo. And even when Amy Parrish came out with this whole idea of females being matriarchs or running the show, there were a lot of dudes, a lot of scientists,

that male scientists that did not like that and said it. It's like bro. Yeah, it's male deference. They thought that the females, that the males were letting the females think they were in charge rather than that's actually the way it was. Hey Amy, stay in the lab.

Is there a bit of that? Kind of and she's a badass so yeah. I wouldn't have said that, I'm a very progressive scientist. What kind of tools do they use? Jim said sporks. Sporks, clothes, you also said sticks. So they don't- Sticks and spoon forks.

Yeah, they don't really use too many sporks. Chimps do more sticks than bonobos do, but it's not completely unheard of that they won't poke things. Like chimps will use termite sticks to get termites. I hear they use a regular stick for a while, and then a female bonobo put a little rabbit thing on the side of the stick.

There you go, create their own little vibe. But yeah, they also do those leaves. They'll swallow those leaves to slough out nematodes, which are parasites, and they're- But that's not a tool. Intestines. It's like medicine at all. It is, but it's kind of a tool.

Name one tool that we put inside our body. Ah, I guess we put bolts. Ultrasound wands. We have screws in us to keep us. Medicine's kind of a tool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vibrators, you just mentioned those. No, I think the screws and the things.

I had a lot of hardware. Because a vibrator is still on the outside, even though it's on the inside, because the inside's still the outside. Well. Pacemaker. You know, antacids. That's not a tool, that's my point. I call that a medicine.

It's technically a metal. Stints. What is the typical life span for bonobo in the wild versus captivity? Gyms at 50 and captivity 70 in the wild? Not too far off. Chimps and bonobos generally live longer when they're in captivity, jumps at 50 and captivity 70 in a while. Not too far off. Chimps and bonobos generally live longer when they're in captivity. Like there was one that lived about 75 years, a chimpanzee.

So bonobos can live 40 years in the wild. Some animals dig it, some animals don't, right? Yeah, like for instance, white sharks. Koalas live substantially longer. White sharks don't do. Sharks cannot be put in, they cannot be put in a fish tank. They commit suicide. Great white sharks, nope, don't want it. And I don't, why would you want? This is my pet great white shark. Sheila, meet her.

What has genetic research revealed about the relationship between humans, bonobos and chimpanzees? Jim said we're all the same except for small differences like dancing. You were very close we are very very much the same almost 99% so 98.7 98.8% identical between chimps and humans and bonobos and humans so because I would think male to female would be more percentage different like just in humans. What do you mean males and females? We're at least 3% different right? From each other? No. One has a dick, one doesn't have a dick. No, doesn't know. Yeah we're pretty much 99.9% the same across the species. This is a very left-wing opinion. Yeah there's very little genetic diversity within our species which is kind of an interesting fact. There's more

genetic diversity within chimpanzees than there are animals. How different is the different races? Are we a percent different? Nope. We're not even a percent different. We're a hundred percent the same. There's no biological basis to racial classification. There's no way that it... But you can tell in DNA what race people are. Not always. You'd be surprised. Not always. Why does 23andMe know without a photo of me? I didn't do anything.

I spat in it. Yeah. And then it comes back and it says, I'm from England. Because I mean, there are, they're looking at different sample sizes of people with similar types of DNA, but that doesn't necessarily mean, and then those are also people that live there now,

not people who live there when perhaps your ancestors lived there. So 23andMe, the way it's represented is sometimes inaccurate. Like say, for instance, if you're looking at your test and it says you're Spanish, right? But like your ancestors lived there 400 years ago. The people there now.

I was 1% Spanish. That was my most exotic bit. Oh, well look at you. The rest of it, I was like 34% Irish, 55% English, which no one ever wants to be English. For some reason people fight against that. I'm Irish or I'm Scottish. Most of the Americans are from England.

Yeah, a good portion. I mean, my family came over here on my dad's side more recently from Scotland, so we know that they are in fact from Scotland, and it wasn't, yeah, taking it, but. And then, did we do all the genetic, yeah, they're very close, so yeah. Yeah, incredible, the dancing though, I mean, with sex dancing, I don't know.

Oh, that was a little difference between us and him, yeah. Ah, I wouldn't say, I mean, they, Does dogs dance? They, I mean, do you pick up your dog and you dance like this? No, so they'll dance to music and swirl around, so I'm like, not all dogs, but not all humans dance. I mean, do you pick up your dog and you dance like this? No, they'll dance to music and swirl around. So I'm like, it's not all dogs, but not all humans dance. I mean, they will.

Play is a huge part in the primate world. A lot of play. So I mean, dance might be a little bit of that. But no, I don't think they're not known for Saturday night fever kind of thing. But they've got such big arms. They do that one. Yeah, they could do that really well and just one of these

What I like orangutans I do too. They're great. I like orangutans 97% identical to us like orangutan. Yeah, they're a good-looking monkey I hang out with they hang out with like Clint Eastwood. They're right. They're right What threats to bonobos face in the wild Jim said you look at me like that again. I'll smash your head in. That's my bit. Very specific. Not each other. It's humans. So human deforestation, human hunting too. So logging is a big problem and oftentimes if like say for instance, there's a or even like mining. There's a heat resistant mineral in a lot of our electronic products called coltan and it's 80% of the world's coltan is found in Africa and 80% of Africa's coltan is found in the DRC. And so when there were mining booms, a bunch of people would flood to the area and be mining this which would destroy the habitat.

But then when tech booms would bust, we would have a market crash. They would have to turn to other sources of income, which could be bush meat hunting, where they would kill and sell the meat of bonobos or other gorillas or other. But they've had every opportunity to take us over and plant other apes this time. And we have given them the template since the 1970s

on how to do this. There's been footage after footage after footage of what you have to do, how you do this, there's been footage after footage after footage of what you have to do, how you do it. Oh, they're watching. And exactly, that's why they're not going to get ahead. So it's survival of the fittest this fucking, I'll keep my Colton, thank you very much. Their survival of the filthiest.

That's what they are. I'm part of Big Colton. Big Colton. Big Colton. This is a part of our show called Dinner Party Facts. We asked our expert to give us some fact obscure interesting about the subject that gives impressed people. I think you said a couple already, but.

I did not say one. A lot of non-human primates have what is called a baculum. Does anyone here know what a baculum is? We said it on this podcast before. I don't know though. I think so. I know Archaeopteryx. We say a lot of words.

But it's very different. So a baculum is a penis bone. It is a boner with a bone. So a lot of non-human primates. There was an animal that we had that had one of these. Yeah. What was it? Elephant?

So it's the prex of the world. It used to be pricks where it was primates, rodentia, which rodents, insectivores, but now it's uleoptera, or I always say this order wrong, and then chiropractor, which are bats, but those are the species that have a penis bone. It might have been bats. Bonobos, did you guys do bats?

I don't remember, we've done some. Bonobos, yeah. Potentially. We've done a lot of topics. Okay, yeah, so baculum is a penis bone, and so most non-human primates have one except for human males, although I can't speak for all of you,

and spider monkey males, and tarsiers. Everyone likes the spider monkey. Spider monkey's a- It's what I studied. Yeah, a popular thing, but would you ever have a monkey as a pet? Absolutely not. No, why not you ever have a monkey as a pet? Absolutely not. No, why not?

Because it's like having a toddler with the brain power and the dexterity to make your life a living hell for 30 years. They will hurt you and you will probably hurt them on accident or on purpose. Oh, I got a toddler who's a maniac. Yeah, imagine that 30 years. I'll tell you what my toddler's doing now, which is terrifying, right? He's decided he knows how to swim. He's had like 15 swimming lessons.

Can't swim yet, but he's decided he can swim. So he just jumps in? That's scary. He just jumps in, gets out of the water, wiggles around like this, smiling the whole time, and then you pull him up and he's like crushed it. And it's like, I'm in two minds, do I almost leave him to drown so he knows it's dangerous?

Because every time he's just, and then he's just running, I have to swim to him. He's just jumping in the pool now and sinking to the bottom and laughing as he gets lifted up. There is a fence around the pool just so everyone knows. No, no, no, no, no, no. Just so everyone knows there's a fence.

He's not getting in the pool without me being there, but my point is the same, it's like, dude, you're gonna, don't do that. No. He's like, because before pool without me being there. But my point is the same, it's like, dude, you gotta don't do that. No. He's like, because before he was scared of the water, now he's not scared of the water and he can't swim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a tale of two kids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he can't. I remember when you said, we were at the airport and Charlie's just doing his thing. And then you said, yeah, I used to think when my oldest kid, like you were saying, I just thought we were the best parents in the world and everyone else sucked. Yeah, I thought everything.

How old was your first kid? My first kid's 11 and he's the easiest kid in the world to bring up, easiest kid in the world. This one, this one would just run into traffic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, no fear of anything. It's like watching him sink to the bottom of the pool and then you think he's going to get out and he loves being under the water now.

That's like he's kink right? I know. And then like you think when you bring him out he's going to be like, oh thanks dad. He's like, it's more. Back. Extreme sports. Yeah. But he's learning, he's learning how to swim.

Yeah. Good. He's how to swim. Yeah, he's going the lessons, but he's doing, he's learned how to hold his breath. Yeah, that's good. That's something. The water doesn't go in the lungs, that's important. He's learned how to do that bit. He could be on the cover of a Nirvana album tomorrow. Okay.

The kids are getting bigger though. Like at this stage, the dick becomes more offensive. When it's a baby you can put it on an album and now too you're like no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Natalia Reagan, thanks for being here. Visit her website nataliareagan.com, everything's on there, but on Instagram and Twitter at Natalia13reagan, YouTube at Natalia Reagan, Facebook Natalia Regan official and you can find out about her trip to Belize and everything else. All the other stuff. Thank you so much for being there.

All the survival of the filthiest. Got any gigs you want to promote? I've got one this weekend but I don't know. This is going to come up next month. That's coming out. Okay cool. Survival of the Filthiest is a show I've been doing and I'm going to be putting some more dates out there but it's basically the totally wild, weird and salacious science of sex.

I talk about bonobos, I talk about the evolution of boobs, butts, balls, and the baculum. The clitoris, I have a puppet named Dolores the clitoris who teaches you all about- Is she hard to find sometimes? She's very hard to find. She can never find the venue. She now can relate to the men. But yeah, she's great. She has a little clitoral hood, so you can unhood her if you come to the show.

I'll be doing that this Friday. I've always thoughtal hood, so you can unhood her if you come to the show. I'll be doing that this Friday. I've always thought the hood was overkill. Yeah, well, you know. What do you think about, I mean, you're from Australia. I'm both from Dix and Ecclesis. I was gonna say, it's like foreskin. It's just, you know, I mean.

I don't have a foreskin. Oh, okay, well. You said I'm from Australia. You think I'm British, don't you? Well, no. No, no, Australians, we were all circumcised in the 70s. Had something to do with wind and sand. Yeah, well, it's good for cleanliness.

It is. Why did you say it like that? You're like squinting your eyes. Wind and sand. It was like you weren't sure about it. There's nothing about a better time. The next generation of Australians don't do it, but my generation were all circumcised.

I knew someone who actually was, he's Australian, he was born and raised there, but his family is from the South Pacific and he was not circumcised as a child, but then his dad decided that when he was 11, he wanted him circumcised. So he got circumcised at 11 and my heart broke for him. So yeah, that's a, you know.

It's easier to keep clean. I can only assume. I had a relative who had it done at 21 because of an infection or something like that. Oh man. And so you've got to give credit where credit's due. That seems like it's a worse situation. It seems hard, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. That's a, yeah. You don't want that. You don't want that. Really good. We've never done an episode on circumcision. We did do the Jim Jeffries show on circumcision. And now I get people who protest my shows

because I've talked about circumcision and they're called the intactivists. Oh my gosh. The intactivists show up. I love when they come. I saw them in, when you did Santa Barbara. There'd been about five or six times the intactivists. They come and they march out the front.

The intactivists. Yeah, the intactivists. And they come with like jeans with red blotches over the crotch and stuff like that. And they, he condones mutilation, they say at the front. I just want them to dress like a four, you know, in a penis costume with a foreskin. I feel like that's a missed opportunity.

Well, I didn't say they didn't do that. Oh, oh, well, okay, nevermind. I'm sorry, excuse me. They wear condoms rolled down on their head like they're a bank robber. But they do have blood, fake blood all over their clothing. Yeah, they all wear hoodies, I'm assuming, right? There's always just two of them. Just two.

There's never a lot. You can't get a lot of them. They bring a lot of props, a lot of banners and stuff, a lot of banners and pictures, pictures of babies crying after it's that It's dick-cut and it's like yeah that that happens One prop monkey poor yeah, I've got one one one pro Was meant to be lucky, but that's funny, but I would think that the

Is they don't even say which is in the the things will curl down monkey poor This is I have three gorilla costumes because that's what you have when you do science comedy and you study primates, but you know, this right here, is my little, my lucky charm. That separates us from the monkeys. They never dress like us. Unfortunately, people like to dress them like us,

which is not cool because that you can't. But they never willingly do it. Do you want to put on pants? I don't want to put pants on. When you get like a monkey called Bongo and you put a bow tie, I tie on it's a fucking delight. Yeah, I'd rather not wear clothes. What do you reckon is the best hat?

The cutest hat for a gorilla? I go like that one that Mr. Peanut wears. Not a top hat. No, the one that's like a... Like gorillas? Yeah, gorillas. Like a bowler hat. Oh, like Darwin. which is kind of on you know I mean so just a gorillas have what is called a sagittal crest on the top of their head by the way It looks like kind of conquistador element helmet So you got to take that into consideration when you buy a hat for your gorilla

Yeah, I would say like a like a blinders one I think a bucket hat would look cool a bucket hat with fuzzy bucket hat a pink fuzzy but it's America Why hat yeah? Have you seen the cabri commercial with the gorilla drumming? Yes? Are you kidding? A bucket hat would look nice. A fuzzy bucket hat, a pink fuzzy bucket hat. A Jamiroquai hat maybe. Oh, have you seen the Cabri commercial with the gorilla drumming? Yes, are you kidding? I love that thing. It was, mm-ah.

It's one of the finest things that the UK has ever produced. In fact, let's finish out this episode with the gorilla drumming. OK, Cabri commercial, have you seen this? I think so. Have you seen this? No. It's worth every bit. It's worth it. Have you seen this? I think so. Have you seen this? No, it's worth every it's worth every bit

It's like the gorilla dancing to the flash dance It's a fairly copyrighted song. I don't think I should play it, but it's it's the adverts the cabri's advert Yeah, but you can't all right. Well, we'll just we'll just leave it. Thank you so much for being on the podcast Thank you for having me if you're ever ever at a party and someone comes up to you and goes hey monkeys they're big bums you go I don't know about that. Yeah. And then walk away. I'm quite sure. It's a good video clip. It's one out of the year or something in the UK.