I Don't Know About That - Cars with Jay Leno

Episode Date: July 28, 2020

In this episode the team covers cars with the help of Jay Leno. Follow Us: Jim Jefferies Website: www.jimjefferies.com Jim Jefferies Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies/?hl=en Jim Jefferies Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies/ Jim Jefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies   Forrest Shaw Website: www.forrestshaw.net Forrest Shaw Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrestshaw/ Forrest Shaw Twitter: https://twitter.com/forrestshaw Kelly Blackheart Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellyblackheart/   Jack Hackett Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Jack_hackett/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Who knows? You might learn this on I Don't Know About This with Jim Jefferies. Welcome to I Don't Know About This with Jim Jefferies. It's not the title of our show. It's not the title of our podcast. I Don't Know About That. Oh, I Don't Know About That. Welcome to I Don't Know About This with Jim Jefferies. It's not the title of our show. It's not the title of our podcast. I don't know about that.

Oh, I don't know about that. Welcome to I Don't Know About That. I don't know about that. I don't know about this and that. Look, I don't have to, if you're watching on YouTube right now, I don't have to introduce our guest. I have to guess who the guest is. But it's Jay Leno, everyone.

It's very exciting. Thank you very much. I thought you lot would clap or something, but you all just said. We did clap before. I thought they were clapping at home. Yeah. This is our first in-studio guest.

Jay doesn't seem to care about COVID like our other people. No, no, no. This is pretty much the end of my career right here. This is my COVID. Doing this podcast. covid doing this podcast it's this or covid I said well jeffrey first thing jim did was mess up the name of the show

jay's like yeah what have I got myself into you never called it the today show no never okay so today's subject is, we've got Jay here. We could have done the life and times of Jay Leno, which would have been interesting, but we're going to do cars. All right. No one knows more about cars than Jay Leno.

I have been to Jay Leno's garage. You have how many cars? There's about 190 cars, about 169 motorcycles. Holy shit. 190 cars. Yeah, it gets. Holy shit. 190 cars. Yeah, it gets a little crazy. Do you drive each one at least once a year? Oh, more than that.

There's not enough days in the fucking year to do them all twice. Okay, I don't know how many days there are in Australia. At least here there's 365. Maybe in Australia it's 180 because it's halfway around the world. I don't know. But it's 365 where I come from. That leaves me. How many days extra that leaves me?

I got 190. Look how many extra days I got. Yeah, but you can only drive all of them 1.8 times. There we go. That's math. No, no. You can drive as much as you want. It's America.

You're not in Perth now. That's true. In Perth, we have five cars that we all share. That's right, exactly. That's why the traffic is delightful over there. I'm here with Kelly and Forrest. Forrest, as usual, is going to be asking the questions. I think we should get

straight into it, mate. I don't know. We talked a little bit, Jay. The way it's going to work is I'm going to ask Jim a bunch of questions about cars. We'll see what his answers are. Then we can just grade him on his answers are. All right. And then we can just grade him on how he did. All right.

That seems fine. Okay. All right. Jim, when was the first internal combustion automobile made and by whom? Okay. Well, the car, the combustion engine was invented by Carls Benz. And I know this because I went to the museum in Stuttgart. Carls Benz invented it.

And it's around 18, I'm going to say 1890 would be where I put it. Before that, they had cars, but the cars were steam engine vehicles. And I know this because Jay Leno had shown me some steam engine vehicles that he already has. Yeah, but as I said, Chef Boyardee invented the pizza. You know, just kind of, you know, because you go to the stuck car museum and

and who invented it oh the german guy oh actually carl benz made the first semi-practical car but internal combustion engines the auto cycle engine was around for a bit of a while well don't correct me yet jay because this is facts that I'm saying. So Carl's Benz invented it, and then Mercedes was the name of the guy who sold the vehicles. No, no. His daughter. His daughter was the name of the daughter who sold the vehicles. So he said he'd name him Mercedes Benz.

I reckon it should have been Benz Mercedes, because he invented the fucking engine. And then you've just got Mercedes being slapped on at the front. No, no. Emil Jelnik was he. Let him correct you with each question. Do you want to wait? No, no, no, no.

I like this. Yeah, yeah. Go for it. Emil Jelnik, he sold cars in France. And the French did not really like the Germans for obvious reasons. Right. And so. But that hadn't kicked off yet.

He said, I'll buy 36 Mercedes, I'll buy 36 Benz cars and sell them all. But if I can sell them under the name of my daughter Mercedes, which was a much more pleasing name to people, didn't have a connotation. So, and it became so popular that in 1924, they incorporated the name Mercedes Benz. Thank God it didn't happen right now because it could have been tiffany benz and britney benz exactly karen yeah karen benz actually you know the story the actual story carl benz invented the car the three-wheel car and he went off somewhere and his

wife took the car to go visit her parents. Right. She just took it, and she went across Germany in this stupid thing by herself. And it was actually quite a big deal. I heard that the car only went about two or three miles before you had to fill it full of gasoline again. Or is that incorrect? No, it's incorrect. It probably went a bit further than that, but it probably went about 25 or 30 miles. Then you go to the chemist, as they say, and's incorrect. Probably went a bit further than that, but probably went about 25 or 30 miles.

Then you go to the chemist, as they say, and get petrol, because petrol was just a byproduct of lamp oil and stuff. Nobody really used it. It was too explosive for most things. But automobilists liked it, and then it became popular after that. Yeah, because there was no gas stations,

so you couldn't go to a gas station. No, there were no gas stations. That's correct. Where did you get beef jerky back then? Huh? I don't know. stations so you couldn't yeah you couldn't go to a gas station no there were no gas stations that's great where did you get beef jerky back huh exactly that's why the people make a why go out it turns out that the air odorizers shaped like pine trees were actually invented five years before the car they just didn't have a purpose for them um i'll give you a little story on the air freshener this is it you make interesting bit of social consciousness little black lives movement interest here uh you know they they had those air fresheners and they tried

to sell them in the inner city and they couldn't figure out why african americans would not buy them so they came out with like hip hop characters and all kinds of shit. Couldn't give them away. Then he did some research and they found out that cops would pull over African American drivers for having an air freshener because as an excuse, because, oh, it blocked their line of vision. It was hanging from the mirror. So, oh, let me put, let's start your car bell. And then they would go through the car and find whatever. So it just became, if you were African-American, you did not want to have an air freshener hanging off your mirror because it was an excuse for a cop to stop you

for driving while impaired. And us white people were rocking around with those fuzzy dice for fucking ever. And they never stopped us. No, exactly, exactly. All right. Next question. Well, exactly, exactly. All right, next question. Well, electric car. So on Jay's show, Jay Lennon's Garage on CNBC,

you drove an electric Corvette. I did. I almost had a car accident and killed Jay. They told us to do a U-turn, and I didn't look, and I was driving. And the follow truck that was filming us were there, and I just swished around, and we almost got T t-boned I don't think it made the episode but I I can't apologize enough it was it was terrifying and now he's doing this podcast haven't you been punished enough

it's one of those things is if they t-bone us I'm not going to make the news for my death it's just going to be all about him I'll just be the arsehole who killed him leno as a leno who walked away an unknown man was leno who walked away from the crash we dedicated the episode to him and then also like jeff jeffries well uh that wasn't why i asked that question anyways jim so thanks for admitting to that i just wanted to know when the first electric car was invented. That was the question. I would say I've watched documentaries.

Okay, so if you want to count electric cars, because I remember when I was a kid, they used to have those solar power races across Australia where people had the solar cars. So that's arguably an electric car because there's electricity going through the thing. And that was like late 1970s, early 1980s. I would say in a mass production sense, and I watched that documentary.

No, just the first one ever. First one ever? Ah, fucking 1940. No. No? 1896. You had electric cars before you had gas cars. What?

Yes. Why? Emil Jelnik, he set the record of 62 miles an hour in an electric car in the late 1890s. In fact, I'll tell you a funny story. This guy was like Jelnik. Not Jelnik. His name was... Janetsi?

Janetsi, yeah. Janetsi. Jelnik was the... Camille Jelnik. Camille Jelnik. Yeah. To celebrate, he went on a hunting trip with his friends. And to scare his friends,

he waited until his friends were asleep, and he dressed up like a bear. Right. And he jumped out of the bush and went, and his friends shot him and killed him. What? Wait. What?

Yeah, that's how he died. That's how he died, for real. And that guy was the genius. He was called the Red Devil because he had a big red beard, and he went 60-something miles an hour, which was unbelievable. You've got to realize, up until 1900, nobody had ever gone fast. No army could move faster than 4.8 miles an hour. That's a fast march.

And then suddenly World War I came, and you had trucks a fast march yeah right and then suddenly world war one came and you had trucks and trains and tanks and then suddenly you could move across continents it was it was is there an argument that because we invented things like the car that we actually went into more war like no there's no argument for that okay all right you know what i mean well they got in the war because this car won't start. And then the guy shot the deal. Wasn't Franz Ferdinand coming out of a car when he got shot? Or am I wrong on that as well? Well, now you're really stretching the car theory that you have.

I'm just saying cars are the beginning of all wars. JFK was also in a car. JFK was in a car. Yeah, there you go. Okay, first mass-produced car, Jim. What was it? When and how many? It was the T-Model Ford.

It was mass-produced here. No, what was it? When and how many? It was the T-Model Ford. It was mass-produced here. No, I'm sorry. Fuck! I thought I was going to... Is that wrong? It's the Oldsmobile. Oh, I thought I was looking... I thought it was...

No, Ransom E. Olds really started the assembly line. Henry Ford just perfected it. Actually, the assembly line was started by beef producers. They'd hang a cow, and the thing would move down the line. The guys would cut off the prime rib and cut off... You you know just cut off the part of the cow as the thing moved down and henry ford saw that and thought oh man we could deal with car parts and and that's what he did but ransomey alls actually had the uh so before the factory line was invented with the the mercedes-benz and they were selling those things, did one bloke just make a car top to bottom?

Well, you see, there was a thing called you had mass production was the end of the craftsman. Right. Every town had a craftsman, and a craftsman would make like a gun, and he would take four months to make you a gun. But that barrel would be perfect. The stock would be all polished and varnished and and this guy might make three guns a year same thing with watches watchmakers were were geniuses

and they would make maybe three watches a year because it was so labor intensive to cut each gear and do all that kind of crap when mass production came in a guy named henry leland there's a company called leland and falconer henry leland made precision he was the first person to go down to one ten thousandths of an inch in measurement and he made guns for the civil war which helped the union win the war then henry leland teamed up with ford to start building cars and ford wanted to build a cheap car lena wanted to build expensive car they got in a big fight they broke up the company ford made ford and then leland started cadillac right and then he won a thing called the doers trophy in england where they took three of his cadillacs to england they took them all apart they threw all the pieces in a box they shook the box they dumped the pieces

out on the ground and they put three cars together which which nobody had ever done before. For example, a Model T has more precision-made parts than a Rolls-Royce. How much was a Model T in today's money? A Model T, I have a 1925 Model T. It was $260 brand new, which would probably be something like $ 000 that's a reasonable car yeah yeah well that's why yeah that's probably why there were so many of them but yeah it this is just why you shouldn't trust internet by the way because i had model t down here and then as soon

as you said ultimately i'll put it in and it is it's the first mass-produced vehicle 1902 model t was assembly line so it's that little thing but in my brain i thought he was right and then yeah lines or it's that little thing but in my brain i thought he was right and then yeah so henry ford was a fucking fraud wasn't he well he gets credit for that all the time he was the invention of the no no he doesn't get credit he never took credit for it you you gave him credit for it i gave him credit did mcdonald's invent the speedy system the speedy system with the burgers because i hear that's a thing. Ray Kroc. Yeah, they were the first people to invent making food on a factory line. Now I hear it's in and out.

No, no. What they did to make them famous was a guy named Ray Kroc. He invented something called the multi-mixer, which could make six or eight milkshakes all at the same time. Imagine like six units all tied together so they could you know before you have to make a milkshake put the ice cream in put in a thing wait three minutes pour it in the glass give it to the guy this could make eight so you could make a hundred shakes an hour if you had a couple of these machines yeah but why would you want that

machine you just sit at home and just have the one milkshake. Well, if you have a restaurant. I don't think it's for personal use. Yeah, because I'd be at home showing people this thing. I can make six fucking milkshakes at once. You're going to your girlfriend, but honey, I can make six. Why would I not make six? All right, next question first. What country right now produces the most cars? Okay, so America feels like they've moved their factories

outside of America for a lot of their cars. Germany still makes their cars. Australia stopped building cars, although they never would have been in the race. They just got rid of their last car factory. I'm going to say it's either Japan, Germany, or Korea, and I'm going to go with Germany. You're not going to go with China?

China! I forgot about them! Well, I don't think this says the most factories that produces cars are there. They're not Chinese cars, but there's a lot of cars. They said there's even American-made cars. That's what it says, at least. Yeah, well, no, but I think

Toyota was the biggest company in the world. I think now I think Volkswagen, once it says, at least. They're Buicks. Yeah. Well, no, but I think Toyota was the biggest company in the world. I think now, I think Volkswagen, once it merged, I think they're the biggest now with the most brands under their belt. Because this says that there's a bunch of American cars that are built in China, including Volkswagens and German cars are built in China and stuff. So it's everybody. So there's no Chinese brands, but I guess that's the trick of the question.

Well, there are Chinese brands. There's Geely, there's a bunch of them. Oh, see. Geely, you ever had driven a Geely? Isn't that the J-Lo movie? Yeah, that was with Ben Affleck, yeah. I heard it was fucking terrible. And then it says United States,

it says Australia still produced 5,000 cars last year. So congratulations. Only 5,000? Yeah, because Holden, I guess, was the company there, and now it's gone away. And to be fair, Australia only has 180 days a year, so 5,000. Holden wrapped up. When I was growing up, my father drove a 1962 EK Holden,

and that was like the same thing as like a big Chevy or something like that with big bug eyes and a bench seat and column shift and all that type of stuff. And so I have a huge fondness towards Australian motor vehicles. And if you watch Mad Max, I never understood this about Mad Max. So he has the Monaro with the nitro in it and all that type of stuff. So all the gasolines run out, right? And they're still driving fucking V8s? They should be in smart cars.

That's what the apocalypse should be all, just little tiny cars and stuff like that. Why would you keep the V8s during the apocalypse? Last of the V8 interceptors. Yeah, exactly. It's the last of the V8 interceptors. Okay, what is the fastest production car? There's the top five, You can name any of them.

Zero to 60? No, just the fastest top speed. You mean top speed? Top speed. Top speed. Top speed. Sorry, top speed. Production cars, too. The Bugatti? That's correct. There's two Bugattis on the list.

Bugatti Chiron. Yeah, there's a Bugatti Chiron. Yeah. And a Veyron. And a Veyron. Those are number threeron. Yeah, those are number three and four. Right. Number one is more recent. Number two. Number one is Koenigsegg.

I can't. Koenigsegg. Koenigsegg Agera. It goes 278 miles per hour. Well, no. Actually, I just had the guy on my show. Bugatti went. This is fun where you just correct right away.

Shut the fuck up for us. Bugatti went. Bugatti went 304. Andy Wallace drove it. I had the actual, they brought the actual car to the garage with the dirt and everything on itself. It went 304 miles an hour. A guy named Andy Wallace, who also set the record for the fastest normally aspirated car,

which was the McLaren F1 at 241 miles an hour. The Bugatti was turbocharged. That went 304 miles an hour. the bugatti was turbocharged that one 304 miles an hour yeah and but the regaria is very fast but that 278 record i don't think it's what's the word homologated it's not a fit you know everybody every country has their own uh-huh yeah the one they can only do those records like in the salt flats like they can't do them on a regular road no they do it uh they usually do them in germany on a test track but they only do it on a regular road? No, they do it. They usually do them in Germany on a test track, but they only do it for,

you're covering 11 football fields in a second. So they only do it for like six seconds. They get up to 200, 250, and then they floor it for just a few seconds. They hit 304, boom. Sounds like my sex life. No, that sounds like my sex life. 11 football fields. Okay. Yeah, and there's another one, that sounds like my sex life. 11 football fields.

Okay. Yeah, and there's another one, Hennessy Venom GT, they said it's number two. So when it says production cars, I mean, there's not that many of these produced, right? No, no, production car means you're able to buy the car exactly as it set the record. It has to have the same tires the same engine the same

body got it it can't be modified so i've only ever seen like two bagadis out in the wild there's both times i've been in beverly hills you'll come out of restaurant there's been a bagadi scene and there's just people taking photos around the thing and it's like i've always both times i've been on a date where the girl's gone why is that a big deal and i'm like i just is yeah just boys like this stuff well then so here's something that's kind of leads into this do you know why how nice nascar came about or stock race car and uh jim do you know oh because americans couldn't fucking follow formula one like the rest of the world you have to have your own special sports all the time

where you just drive around you think that's the answer actually not far wrong formula one is the is the race that the rest of the world do and the tours around to each country and we have a race in every different country and it has all the famous drivers etin center michael schumacher all these type of people and for some reason the american psyche you have to do everything slightly different that was the one sport that I was surprised that you didn't play over here, that you didn't do Formula One, that you do IndyCar racing and NASCAR. I understand different football and stuff like that, but why would you not want to get involved in Formula One? It's usually because it's so hellaciously expensive.

It's unbelievable. NASCAR came out of the rum runners and the guys that used to try to outrun the cops, you know, and the moonshine and the liquor and all that kind of stuff. And they would take those cars and they would go to a dirt track at a county fair or something and race around in circles. And Bill France, the guy who kind of started NASCAR, thought, hey, let's get these guys together. You got Junior Johnson and all these guys who were rum runners. And they'd have, you know, you put the flies around town, come out to the county fair next Thursday, 50 mile race, blah, blah. And guys would show up with cars they built.

I mean, up until recently, you know, production cars hadn't had carburetors since the 80s. But in NASCAR, they ran carburetors right up to just a couple of years ago because they wanted to keep it cheap inexpensive relatively compared to formula one i mean a formula one team is five six seven eight million dollars more than that that's usually just for the driver so it's it's it's it's a sort of blue collar yeehaw kind of deal they wanted to keep the yeah and it said that back when they were running like rahmar moonshine or whatever they had to keep the... Yeah, and it said that back when they were running like Rahm or Moonshine or whatever, they had to make the cars look as normal as possible, but strip them all out. That's why NASCAR has cars that look more normal,

like normal cars, because if they were driving around in cops on, they didn't want it to be like, look at that race car. They were just like, yeah. It also was that sort of race on Sunday, sell on Monday. Yeah. You know, when I was a kid,

it's not that way anymore, but the chevy that raced had a chevy engine the ford that race had a ford engine and they looked like the cars your dad could buy so you you know you'd go and you'd watch it and it would be like you could identify with the vehicle so that was the same in australia we have a race called bathurst and what they call stock cars type of thing and what they were is i think now they have the mustangs racing whatever and it was it was really there was other cars in there there was volkswagen stuff but it was really ford versus holden and so if your dad owned a holden then that's who you cheered for was the holden and then in the schoolyard it was like ford's gonna win this

and i remember like my dad owned a holden and then ford won like five years in a row and i'm just going back to me, dad going, Oh dad, we got to get a Ford. This is too depressing that we have this shitty car that can't win this race all the time. You know? All right. Um,

so do you know, I have a list of the 20 most expensive cars in the world. Do you think you can name? Yeah. Let's say top five. Yeah. I can do top five. Yeah.

You think so? And tell me how much you think they are. And this is list. think, is from 2009. Okay, so the Bugatti is the most expensive car. I would say the Rolls-Royce Phantom or the Ghost or whatever is right up there. It would be in the top five. Actually, Rolls-Royce, you know, the thing that makes Rolls-Royce expensive, they're expensive.

Like a Rolls is about $ rolls about 350 000 but when you get quote the custom extras you know you want piano key looking interior and all those kind of nonsense then that drives the price up but it'd probably be bugatti konig egg is very expensive this says rolls royce sweep tail is 13 million dollars is that even uh well again they build one or two of those especially the internet for something well it's not really a production car but but that's what they cost if you want one they'll build you one and it costs that much that's like the salt of brunei or something like that so this list says mercedes-benz my bach 8 million that number two bugatti devo 5.8 million wait a minute mercedes

benz is up there in the top five well the my buck Maybach. Yeah, you know, that's in it. I mean, those are kind of one-offs. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, the Kona Zeg is up there too. Kona Zeg is up there. Bugatti Devo, 5.8 million. Yeah, yeah.

So 5.8 million. Yeah. Do you have any cars listed in these top, like those kind of, that level? No, I don't have any. Yeah, okay. I mean, I've got an F1. I'll tell you, I got an SLR McLaren. And one day I was doing a show, a corporate show for McDonald's.

The guy goes, hey, General, thanks. He gives me a bunch of these Happy Meal coupons. You should. Fuck his car collection. You should see his little toy collection from McDonald's. No, no, but you know as a comic, you're always broke. So free food is like a psychological thing. You just, somebody's giving you food.

Before you got money, you got food, right? That was the first paycheck I ever got was a free meal. So anyway, so I did this show for McDonald's, you know, big thing. And the guy goes, hey, here's a money. I go, okay, thanks. So I got this show for McDonald's, you know, big thing. And the guy goes, hey, here's a bunch. I go, okay, thanks. So I got in my bag. So I pull into McDonald's in the SLR Mercedes. Now, that's a half-million-dollar car, and it's got the doors that come up,

you know, like going. So I pull in, and I says to the guy, did you have me? The guy goes, what's that? He goes, I said, yeah, let me have two happy meals. He goes, you know, we only have, we're only allowed one happy meal. So I said to him, I said, well, that's fine. He goes, no, no, I recognize you, Ms. Nott. Wait here, let me get the manager.

I go, well, don't get the manager. No, just wait here. So now the manager comes out and he goes, what is it? He said, oh, Ms. Leno, no, please pull up here. Please pull off to the side. Now, beep, beep, people are honking because they're waiting, people are waiting. So, okay, so I pull off to the side. Now the door comes up. Now a crowd comes on. I waiting so okay so pull off side now the door comes up now a crowd comes on go what's that

with the door up and the guy's in mr leno normally we don't allow more than one happy meal because and i hear people going that's fucking jay leno arguing about a happy meal i'm not arguing i'll just take the one happy meal and come back. No, we're going to do it this one time. So it's like this whole big deal. It's one time. No, I mean like. You better enjoy this happy meal. They knew he'd be back if he got it this one time. It was so stupid.

It's just an idiot. Oh, I know that, George. This one with the gull wings. Yeah. They never added James Bond in one. Well, it's dihedral more than gull wing, but yeah. Can't park in like a compact space with us, right? Oh, you can get in.

No, no, no. Gullwing goes up. Oh, Gullwing, yeah. Goes up. Goes up. What are those ones? Okay. And then this is according to a website.

I said the cheapest car is according to this. Brand new? Yeah, it's an electric vehicle from a Chinese manufacturer called Shang Li. Well, again, that doesn't count. You can't buy it in this country. Oh, you can't? No, you can't. Yeah, but's an electric vehicle from a Chinese manufacturer called Shang Li. Well, again, that doesn't count. You can't buy it in this country. Oh, you can't? No, you can't. Yeah, but this is fun.

You really do your homework on these cars. I don't know what I'm doing. I just go on the internet and look at stuff, and then I hope that... Was that like an hour ago? I mean, when I came in, I saw you busily... How much did you pay for your first car? My first car? $500?

Yeah, I paid $400 Australian dollars for a 1979 Golden Holden Gemini. And I could see the floor through it. It was my pride and joy. I fucking loved it. I had a 77 Dodge Aspen with slant six. It was like an old cop looking car.

And I had that and i drove that all the way to from miami to ithaca new york and it still had the thermostat like set for being in florida and as soon as i got there it was like negative 10 or something in new york and like the ceiling fell the whole dash cracked the card and stuff like it was just like what have you done to me oh my one used to overheat all the time and the other way to cool down the engine was to turn the heater on ah yeah and so i was just always sitting in australian heat like 110 what was your first car but why did you turn the heater off because it puts water through the engine excellent excellent yeah and the water cools the engine actually the extra water that's in the heater car very good

what was your first car jay my first car was a a 34 Ford pickup I bought for $350 when I was 14. Oh, wow. I had two years to get it running. Oh, you bought it before you had it? Yeah, I was 16 or something like that. I remember saving up and just, I, it was, he wanted 450 for it. I got him down to 400. And I really did that like teenager, like, please.

That was my negotiation skill was, but I can't afford anything else. This is all I have. I'll mow a lawn, please. What about you, Kel? What was yours first? I think it was a 1999 Chrysler LeBaron convertible. Ooh. Poor LeBaron.

Ooh, poor little rich girl. It was my brother's car passed down but he like he got chased by the cops one time with the top down uh flew into our neighborhood drove into a driveway put the top up and the cops just drove right past him and i was like hell yeah if i want to if i want to race from the law this is the car to do it now jack comes from coca-cola money his father was an executive at coca-cola so what what uh what bm BMW did you get for your first car there, Jack? I got a Honda C-O-V. Oh, you got a Honda C-O-V.

Is that the same car you just drove me over in? That's the same car. That's your first car. Oh, good work. The Hondas go forever. I've been told. I don't know. I've never owned one.

Good car. All right. The first speeding ticket. Do you know when that was, Jim? And what year and how fast was the car going? I can tell you when my first speeding ticket do you know when that was jim and like what year and like how fast was the car going i can tell you when my first speeding ticket that wasn't the question yeah that would be the first the first ever speak it would have had to be when they invented radars oh no the cops could have driven behind the cops could have driven behind and been in a certain rate or something like that so um greyhound or something

yeah i'm gonna say the first speeding ticket was in the 1930s how fast were they going and they were they were going in a 30 zone they were going on the very first 50 yeah this says way earlier than 1896 yeah yeah and this is eight miles per hour. How is that? Yeah. The cop ran up to the cop next to the car. You got to understand, they used to have a thing in England called the red flag law. That's why England was so far behind France and Germany in development. The automobile, anything over eight miles an hour. You had that guy with a red flag walking in front, waving the flag.

So as to what it's true it's true what was the point of driving that's what well no there was no point they didn't want you driving so that was considered a dangerous thing so if the combustion engine was made in the in the late 1800s uh how long was it till we had roads or do we already have roads well you had roads but they weren't very good roads they were dirt roads like i mean henry ford got together and started the good roads project around 1913 1914 uh the lincoln highway was the first road to go all the way across the country you could drive from new york to in fact if you go to santa monica pier there's the there's the plaque right there at the pier

still on the before it turns into the pier it shows it's the last mile of the lincoln highway and it went all the way across the country and was that just dirt or what did they say no it was paved oh they started tarmacking but it became route 66. yeah there you go and okay and that leads me to what what's the largest speeding fine ever reported and monetarily it was in 2010 in switzerland oh yeah that well see what they do in switzerland oh you'd hate this in switzerland your speeding ticket is is a percentage of your yearly income oh yeah what's the point of being rich if they're gonna keep on that's right that's right if you're

poor then you actually actually if they got going to keep on gouging you? That's right. If you're poor, then you – Actually, if they got me this year, it would be pretty good. Yeah. I haven't done a show since February. I'll be all right. Yeah, so it was in 2010, a guy was driving 80 – 200,000 something? Yeah, 85 miles per hour in a 50-mile-per-hour zone, kilometers.

It was $290,000 U.S. dollars. Yeah. The ticket was given to him was 180 000 pounds right yeah but that'd be it that'd be a thing you could pick up women with that you could be like yeah i got the biggest speeding fine ever they take a percentage of your wages what are you gonna do how you're gonna put in like you can brag about it a little bit my brother got a speeding fine on um there's there's the the race the big race in australia called bathurst and it's one of those ones where they use the regular road and they they block them off like they do with formula

and and he went and drove around the track a few times and there's a thing called conrod straight which is the the straight where the cars get up to about 300 kilometers an hour i'm doing kilometers but um they get up to about 300 310 on the on the thing anyway so he drove around a few times just like looking around for cops and he went oh yeah no we're all right here and his new little sports car and he frang the fucker he went about 180 kilometers on this thing and then a cop comes out and pulled him up and the fine was i don't know about two grand or something like that but he still i believe has that fine uh framed because he hit the top speed on Conrad Strait.

Was it your brother? Yeah, yeah, Scott did that. Oh, Scott. I thought it was Danny who was a cop. Yeah. No, the cop didn't do it. The cop. All right.

So who invented cruise control and what was unique about him? Jen, do you know? The first guy to get a blowjob in a car was... That's why cruise control was invented i assume there was a guy that was like i've had too many accidents there has to be a better way let's hope this guy wasn't yeah what was unique about it i'm gonna say the guy invented i don't know who it was what was unique about his name was ralph teeter i'll tell you yeah that's right he made it was called this speedometer it was in a a Chrysler. And he was blind.

Oh, that's funny. Yeah, yeah. And so it was so that he could drive in a confined area or something? I don't blind with pleasure from all the blowjobs he was getting. I don't think he was trying to drive. Didn't say that. Did he become blind from all the masturbating in his car? And then this is kind of,

what percentage of rolls royce manufacturers still on the road today like of all they've all been i would say it's very high because it's a car that people would never send to the scrap heap and they all become classics so i would say it's 80 i don't know it's quite 80 i know it's over a half i think yeah it varies but it says 70 to 75 percent so there you go and then this one that you should know what percentage of the world drives on the left versus the right okay so i would i would say 30 percent drive on the left no i think it's less than that uh you got germany you got japan not germany you got japan england australia uh new zealand right new zealand yeah that's

i know switzerland switched over in 67 sweet yeah yeah it says 35 on the left so that's close yeah is it just because that these countries want to be because now that i live in america because my whole life i used to when i was a kid be be like bloody Americans can't do things like us. They have to drive. And then I came over here and I went, right's probably a better system because most people are right-handed and thus force you. But the thing is there's cultural things that are different because of that.

So when I'm walking down the road and someone is coming towards me, I veer off to the left and I bump into them all the time. Because even when you walk on the street, because of where we drive, we stand to the left. So when I first came here, like, fuck having to look left and right and that sort of stuff. I still to this day bump into people or I stand on the wrong side of the escalator when people are trying to go around.

Well, Henry Ford put it on the left. He put it on the left. He put it on the left. Well, the rumor was England switched because it was a way to say, screw you. Yeah, I think that's what happened. To the, when the Romans came over, it was a way of saying, you know, screw you or something. But you have to go on the other side.

It started with walking. I believe so, yeah. Oh, right. That's interesting. I think so. I think so. But Henry Ford was the one that put it on the left here because it was easier for the farmers to unload.

You could, and the passenger could get out without stepping into traffic. Yeah. Can't we just all agree? That's one of those things that we just need to agree on i i i'm also powerpoints oh i'm fucking done with different powerpoints around the world i don't care which one we choose powerpoints oh you mean like an outlet i was like i was like how many powerpoint presentations are you getting this is like it's every time I go to another we've all agreed on the USB one

the USB we've all gone that's a good one but then the Europeans have the two prongs and the British one have the big chunky one the Americans have the two prongs the Australians have them angled so it doesn't fall out the American ones get soft and sort of fall out all the time Scandinavian have like two

it's just another thing when you're traveling that you have to think about. We can't have world peace in this world until we fucking sort that out. I'm telling you. That's the first thing. Until we get that up and running and then we should all pick a language

and then that's how we should go. And the side of the road. Drive on the side of the road. Side of the road. Clearly right. Yeah, 65%. I think the right hand side. Because there's things like in Australia there was cars that were built in america and car enthusiasts would buy mustangs

and stuff that were never mass produced in australia or never mass produced with the left hand steering and all that stuff and so what would happen is you would have a bloke who would buy an american car and you'd see it driving down the street and it would have to have a big sign in the back window that said right hand drive yeah and so it just was a bit bit silly and you had to have a special license and all this type of stuff so i mean left hand drive yeah left hand drive yeah yeah and so but you never americans have never bought an australian car and brought it over you've never had a hold and come over here because no one's that fast about driving one in this country but we always had this thing that we saw American cars in movies where we

wanted one. Well, you see a lot of English cars here. A lot of Rolls Royces and Bentleys come over here with the sterling on the other side. You don't see many Australian cars is because they're just Australian versions of American cars. Yeah.

Yeah. We ripped off all the American cars. They suck. That's what you're going to say. Shit. How did jaywalking come about? Do you know, Jim? You know what jaywalking come about do you know jim uh you know what jaywalking is i know that he used to do a segment in his show called jaywalking we do that in this show yeah how did

that come about uh not a segment jaywalking is people crossing the road when there wasn't a little green man or a little red man or not in a crosswalk on a crossroad and there would have been some cop who was being an i'll go back to systemic racism he was gonna go that says this says the concept was invented by the auto industry in the 20s to shift the blame of car accidents from cars to pedestrians and at the time jay was a slur synonymous with redneck or hillbilly. Oh, thank you very much. Good night, everybody. Where did that come from? Jay, why would that be a redneck or a hillbilly?

I've never heard it. In the 20s, I don't know. I went down to Alabama. There was fucking J's everywhere. You can't move for five minutes. A couple of J's came up to me. The term originated with J drivers, people who drove horse-drawn carriages and automobiles on the wrong side of the road before taking its current meaning like that that's how they can make transfer to jay walk but that the auto industry i guess you know when they're starting i'm sure there was a ton of

accidents at the beginning right because people there's i know what dashboard comes what's that what dashboard comes from now dash was another term for horse manure. So when you're in a wagon, the horse's hooves would throw it back at you, so they put this dashboard up to protect you from getting hit with all the crap. Like a sneeze guard at the sizzler. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Exactly like the sizzler.

Let's not go to that sizzler. I went to sizzle one time i never forget this i went there i had a mistake and i'm cutting the steak and as i'm cutting it's coming apart in sections like it'd been pressed together you know and i thought okay this is like i'm on like a candid camera or some because the way it came apart it's like the steak had been put in a press and then cooked and then given to me and when I said it just came apart in different sections I thought all right this is and I was waiting for the camera and I went oh no this is the way you show you just weren't having a hamburger patty that's the whole concept of hamburger yeah I find it hard to believe sizzler didn't have good quality steaks yeah it's strange oh you know the sizzler never had the grass-fed

option no no no is sizzler still around yeah the one right near my house sizzler was a big deal they're struggling right now grass-fed is the chef it was the first time i remember like having a salad bar where you could go back and forth to it and thinking, oh, this is really something. Those days are gone forever. Yeah, that's why I was saying there's a sizzler near my house, and they're like, hey, we have curbside service. Who wants curbside sizzler? My friends and I ironically like sizzler,

and we went there one time after his birthday party, and somebody in our party was like, everybody here looks so sad. And I was like, you're saying that so – these people aren't here as a joke. This is their actual Sunday. Just be quiet. I have a soft spot for Norm's breakfast. Oh yeah.

If you can't, you can't get a better breakfast than that for three bucks. Yeah. How do they do it? I know. Like it's not good quality. Never order the steak option. Just get the eggs and the bacons and the hash browns.

And it's real pancakes. Nothing wrong with Norm's. I skipped over this one. Actually, this was this, this one should have been earlier. Oh, great. Now I'm all screwed.

I had the answers all memorized. Now I'm off a question. Now they're out of order. What were you going to do? Yeah, because I've had such a good rhythm. I had Bob Hope on the Tonight Show once, right? When Bob was like 98. Right.

And still pretty sharp, but very vain. He would not wear a hearing aid he he had twin hearing aids he'd take them off through the shop people asked him he just never knew about it and i said and i said i'm gonna he goes i got all the jokes memorized you just i i'll you just give me the setup and i'll give you the punch you got all the punch lines memorized i saw it so i go bob big laugh and i go big laugh. And I go, da-da-da, da-da-da-da, big laugh. I get there when I go, da-da-da, big laugh. And then I go, yeah, that was funny, da-da-da-da.

Okay, now he's one joke ahead. So I'm like, no way, da-da-da-da. And like, I mean, we had to edit the whole show. It was like, because every time I went, no, hang on, we'd step, and he would do the punchline. He'd try to count how many questions ahead he is. So we'd be like, do you like McDonald's?

And that's why she lost her leg. Yeah, exactly. All right, so here's this question. Hopefully we get this most manufactured car of all time brand and model Jim do you know this most manufactured car of all time I would say it would be a Toyota

keep going I'm sorry thanks for playing the game I thought that was right I thought that was right too No, no. I'm sorry. Corolla. Thanks for playing the game. I don't know. I thought that was right. I thought that was right, too. Did I just guess this right?

It was Volkswagen. Ah, okay. Volkswagen Beetle. And then that passed the Model T. And then it was made in Mexico for a long time, too. Now, Corolla may have, well, but see, the Corolla was not the same. When you say the same car, it can't be the same nameplate. It's got to look the same. Corollas look a bit different.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, so you're saying the exact same. Well, yeah. It's the most manufactured car of all time. So the Beetle, I always say this is a party fact, and I'm sure I'm wrong. Did Hitler have anything to do with the design? Not the actual design, but he approved it.

He wanted to build a people's car a car you know work uh joy through work and all that kind of crap the idea was that the average working german could now afford an arm he was a huge fan of henry ford and he saw what what the model t did for the american worker and he thought okay let's let's do this so yeah he did i mean he approved it he went down to look at it he said yeah this is exactly what we need so technically you could say i read that he had something to do with the trunk being in the front of the car as opposed to the back but i don't know if that's no that's not true because the engine was in the back the engine in the back the trunk's in the front. That's what I said, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She reckons that the trunk was in the front.

Yeah, I just read that that was his contribution. No, no, that was Ferdinand Porsche. Well, good, because I don't want him to get any glory. I also had a Volkswagen bug convertible. It's so amazing that that became the car of the hippies after being the Nazi car. Like, it really, and it's still around today. Well, because you could put a flower in the butt.

See, it really wasn't the Nazi car. uh he developed it and then the war came so volkswagen's really weren't produced until once the war was over then it was a cheap well-built you know so hitler never drove a beetle well he might have driven one as some you you know. No, he was never really involved. The war was on, and he might have driven one for demonstration purposes, but no. Was the Volkswagen Golf, let me see, is it correct? It's because the big advertising campaign was that you could put a golf bag in the back. I don't know. That's why it was called that?

Yeah, I believe it. I never heard that. The ad campaign was the Volkswagen Golf. They were like, and it's a small car, but it had a nice trunk where you could put a... Okay, here's one for you. This says Golf. The Golf has a name for the natural occurring Gulfstream. Yeah.

Yeah. Like the Lincoln cadaver. The Lincoln cadaver. You could put dead bodies. That's why the mob bought the... So Golf was for Gulfstream, and Jetta, it name translates to Jetstream. Yeah.

And then, and so I guess that was like cutting through the wind or something like that. bought so golf was for gulfstream and jetta it name translates to jet stream yeah and then and so i guess that was like cutting through the wind or something like that and why do the germans make such good cars is it just that their engineering mindset and their hard work and or is there another one day i took a corvette through the autobahn and i pull into this german town going like 170 miles an hour i pull in this german town, going like 170 miles an hour, I pull into this German town and one of these towns like from 11 something AD, whatever, AD, whatever. BC, AD, it's all the same.

Well, same thing. I pull in and there's a church like a mile over there and there's a church steeple like a mile and I can see both church steeples and they're each like three or four miles from each other and at 12 o'clock they both go bong bong they're both perfectly chimed perfectly timed okay then i keep driving i get to italy i pull in i see two steeples one says four o'clock the other one the hand is broken and it's just going up and down

doing this like you know something happened to it nobody bothered to fix it so that's pretty much it i mean the germans have that that they just have that mindset yeah yeah exactly all right um the uh whoops this thing just reset a poor workman who blames his tool. Look, I didn't say I was good at this. You don't have to convince me. Oh, here we go. In South Africa. Oh, timely.

There was an option in a BMW that is what to prevent it from being stolen. Oh, I know all about this. I've seen this. Flamethrowers underneath the doors that shoot up for when you get in car jams. But that was never a factory option. That was stuff people would put in aftermarket. You couldn't buy it from the factory. But why was it South Africa?

Oh, my God. You go to an intersection in south africa they'll have a little sign there say please lock your door there's been 1100 carjackings this year at this intersection so you're just gonna light someone on fire instead yeah but it's it's protection if someone comes and tries to yeah if they want to change out of your center console you set them on fire the crime in the country is very, everyone's got electronic fences and all that stuff. And people try to carjack you all the time. And everyone over there is like, I've been carjacked about four times this year. It does not depend on you for me.

I had that Oscar Vitorious on the show. He came to the garage. You know, a nice guy. And so bizarre. Girlfriend wouldn't shut up. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Years before any car was ever made in the 1200s.

In the 1200s. That would be centuries before. But years are involved in that. That's when the wheel was invented. That's how I always talk. You know, when dinosaurs were in the earth years ago. There was a monk that predicted cars. Do you know his name?

Larry. Leonardo da Vinci predicted the car. Well, this says Roger Bacon was a Franciscan friar who lived from around 1214 to 1218. There wasn't a guy called Roger Bacon. That's like a name now of a guy who owns a restaurant. That's a breakfast place. That's not a ye olde name.

That's like a real- That's Bob Evans. Yeah, Bob Evans. It's a really specific strip of name. I don't believe this either, just because it says, but it says in one of his documents, he wrote,

cars can be made so that without animals, they will move with unbelievable rapidity. He also predicted airplanes, steamships, submarines, and scuba diving suits so you're telling me that there was a monk called roger bacon so you went to the monastery and you went i'm having evil thoughts go speak to roger bacon he's got a wikipedia page roger bacon so um also known by the scholastic accolade Dr. Mirabilis Was bacon invented then? They already cured ham to make it into bacon? Don't know

Is bacon named after him? Did he invent bacon? If he invented bacon, I'm fucking in Where's the Roger Bacon movie? I don't think it's going to be that interesting He just predicted stuff He didn't make anything That's what they said

Leonardo da Vinci had all the First helicopter and the first car Interesting. He just predicted stuff. He didn't make anything. That's what they said. Yeah, I can predict stuff. Not sure Dharma's predicting things. Leonardo da Vinci had all the first helicopter and the first car and all that type of stuff. And Roger Bacon gets no credit? Roger Bacon invented the magnifying glass. Oh, did he? Are you on Roger Bacon's website now? Yeah, I'm just looking him up.

It's amazing that he has a website. I Googled, did Roger Bacon invent bacon? And he didn't. No. The magn he has a website. I googled, did Roger Bacon invent bacon? Yeah, and he didn't. No. The magnifying glass. But Cubby Broccoli, who produced the 007 movies, his family did develop broccoli. I know there's a lot of debate on this.

Yeah? Yeah, I've had arguments with people about this. Wait, but broccoli. And what did you argue on? No, because I heard that as well, that broccoli is genetically engineered. It's something spliced with cauliflower to make broccoli, like whether it's spinach or something.

And it was his family. Yeah, but there's a lot of conjecture on this that maybe it wasn't. Maybe it wasn't. I don't know. I don't know. And that's the end of that conversation. I actually...

I wouldn't even think broccoli was invented. I just thought it was real. I'm going to name drop. I just thought it was great. I'm going to name drop. I had this conversation for hours on end with George Lazenby. And George Lazenby played my father in my sitcom. And I said, I brought out the broccoli fact at lunch on set.

And then I was shouted down by a few people. I've had this whole broccoli debate in my past. Because whenever I've seen it... Oh, Lazenby was your dad? George Lazenby played my dad. But I used to ride, seeing him, we used to ride motorcycles.

Yeah. All right. He's a, he's a, he's a fun fella. A nice guy. He was a pretty good Bond, but you know,

he got screwed because they changed James Bond. They made him like more sensitive and he got married in that one. Yeah. And nobody wanted to see James Bond married and they blamed him more than. I think also George was drunk the whole time and shooting cans at the front of his trailer which is but george george uh one of my favorite george lazenby stories ever was uh i was sitting with um george lazenby on one side of me and john ratzenberg who played cliff claven from right and he played the other day and i was sitting in the makeup chair and the two of them so john's like like a bit more of an intellectual than maybe George is.

Anyway, so we're sitting there and they're trying to make conversation and I'm sitting in the middle. And John goes, hey there, George, where did they make that Majesty's Secret Service movie? And George went, oh, it was all over France. We filmed it all over France. And then John goes, Oh, I love France.

I've been to France. What's your favorite place in France there, George? And then George went, There's a place in Italy where you can fuck the prostitutes by the side of the road. So that was George's favorite place in France. Well, to be fair, there are worse places.

He's a cultured man. Leave him alone. So Roger Bacon. Here's a question that you might know, Jim, because you like this movie. The original Time Machine in Back to the Future was supposed to be what? They wanted it to be a Mustang,

or a Ford wanted to have it. Yeah, your way off. And then they said DeLorean. This says refrigerator. Oh, no, no, or a Ford wanted to have it. Yeah, you're way off. And then they said DeLorean. This says refrigerator. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. The original time machine was a refrigerator. Yeah, that's right. And that's why the guy wrote in the refrigerator scene

in the Indiana Jones movie. No, the original wasn't. But then Ford came while they were making the movie and said, hey, we can make it a Mustang. And they said no to the whole thing. But Ford tried to make a money play. It also says Robert Zemeckis was afraid that children would try imitating the film and trap themselves inside fridges.

Yeah, I worry about that constantly about my son. That's why I keep my refrigerator very well stocked. And then they use the DeLorean, which I guess I don't even know how many years they make it. DeLorean was only around. He got busted for drugs. He got busted for conspiring to put drugs in the door panels or something like that.

I think they're making a movie. I just watched a documentary on the guy. But, yeah, DeLorean was a GM. Right. He was a manufacturer. He was a designer at GM. Started his own company. He got busted for drugs or conspiring to sell drugs.

Well, he was trying to save his company. So he was going to move $10 million or something worth of cocaine. And he got busted. And he beat the rat, which is to say, because he was sort of a hero of mine when I was a kid. He was the guy who kind of bucked the system. He was head of Pontiac. And when everybody else had to wear a white shirt with a blue blazer,

he was the kind of guy who'd wear Italian striped shirts. And he had his hair styled before that was sort of popular. He wore his hair long, like a beetle haircut, that kind of stuff. And so he was sort of an outsider. He was divorced. He had an Italian wife. He was a little too European for GM. And he didn't quite fit in.

And he left gm and then started he started but he's the father of the gto he invented the idea of putting a big engine in a smaller car and he made the gto and he made pontiac a really an ex pontiac used to be like your father's car like a salesman's car it It was below Oldsmobile, below Buick. It didn't really fit. It was like the Plymouth of General Motors. And he made it an exciting brand with the wide track and the big engine and all that kind of stuff. You know, he encouraged them to do those songs,

like Little GTO and all those kind of rock songs. And then he started his own car company, but he was living above his lifestyle, and he screwed the Irish government. He took money from them to build the factory and that fell through. And then he was so desperate to keep his company going, he got busted trying to move some cocaine. Now, wasn't the problem that, okay, so it was Northern Ireland that he built the cars and he built the cars in Belfast. They're Irish cars? They were built in ireland from an

american company but they started and they built it in belfast during the troubles right during all the ira at the height right so these people were fighting on the weekend and throwing monotone cocktails each other on weekend and then meeting up at work to build cars and the the last the last thing they had built in belfast before the the DeLorean was the fucking Titanic. So they really didn't have a great history. They built the Titanic, they shut down all the factories, and then they came back, oh, we've got a new job for you. And so a lot of the DeLoreans that came back here to America,

because they looked so cool and everything, the pre-sales were through the roof. But when they got here to America, they had to basically put them back together again because the hinges and the things and everything. Well, you know, Johnny Carson was an inventor, was an inventor, was a, what do you call it, investor in the company.

Right. And he had a piece of it. He got one of the first DeLoreans, and he was on the 405, and he was coming to work one day. And they had the electric doors, and they opened this way. And the battery died, andny was stuck in the car and they literally had to come and literally cut him out of the car and he was furious yeah and he was furious and of course that because once you know and nobody was bigger than cars when something happened to carson i remember carson

hurt his back on some piece of exercise equipment and that company was out of business the next day because he talked about it every night so when that delorean went down it was like oh my god that that was the beginning of the oh he just like ripped him on the show then well you know the jokes it was pretty twitter yeah no obviously but he was ahead that the platform like all right were you were you friends with carson before i know you did the show a lot before you took over i mean i was friends in the sense that it was like one of your father's friends i don't always call him mr cars you don't call me johnny and i i can't ask it was just awkward for me to call him johnny you know what i mean i just felt weird and how many times did you stand up on that show oh i did a bunch of times i hosted about 400 times before i got the

show um because that's the whole thing you always hear this mythology now of like if johnny asked you over to the couch your career was made right if he if you did a stand-up set yeah you know he told you to come over you know who that really happened to was It was Freddie Prinze. Do you know Freddie Prinze? I know Freddie. I know who Freddie. I'm friends with Freddie Prinze Jr. Right. Well, Freddie.

I taught Freddie how to drive. And he stayed at my apartment when he came to Boston. And he came out here to try to make it in Hollywood, as we all do. And earlier that week, he had done the same set that he did on Carson on Merv Griffin. And it went fine. I wouldn't mean it didn't blow it out the room. It didn't bomb. It was just a strong set.

And Merv said, hey, thank you very much, Freddie Prince. Very funny. Then he goes on Carson. And Sammy Davis, who is like the greatest audience a comedian could ever have. Sammy's sitting there. And Freddie's doing it. He's Sammy's sitting there and Freddie's doing, he's not my job and he's doing all that, you know.

And Sammy is just screaming. Just, bring the brother home. Come, come, come, come over. And he's hugging him. And Freddie was quick on his feet. So he started screwing with Sammy, you know, and teasing him back and forth. And Sammy just raving.

And Johnny loved all this. And that's really what put him over the top. It became a huge deal that Carson and Sammy Davidson, whoever the third person on the panel, all went nuts for this young Puerto Rican kid. But funny, he was just 19 years old, you know. And then he got Chico and the man from that, and then it became a huge star, yeah.

Yeah. So we have some, like, I just have, like, some questions about cars, like, for you star, yeah. Yeah. So we have some, like I just have like some questions about cars, like for you now, Jay. All right. These are like questions about cars. Well, this is something that I saw somewhere. Is it true that you used to work

at a car dealership in Massachusetts and sometimes you would use the dealership cars to go on road trips to New York to do spots at the Improv? Well, yeah, I used to do that all the time. I used to drive to Boston every night. I'd drive to New York every night from Boston and work at the Improv. No, no, but you'd use the cars.

Well, no, what it was was, see, in those days, when a Rolls Royce, I worked at a foreign car dealership. It was Rolls Royce and Mercedes-Benz Bentley. And when a Rolls would come in, I would go down New York, pick it up at the dock, and drive it back. Okay. And we had a car in Boston. We had sold to a guy to New York, pick it up at the dock, and drive it back. Okay. And we had a car in Boston we had sold to a guy in New York, a Rolls convertible for $34,000.

So my thing was go down to New York, and this guy was buying the car for cash for whatever reason. Okay. So I drive this Rolls down. The guy gives me $34,000 in cash. I got it in my hand. I go to the dock. I pick up another Rolls to drive back to Boston.

Okay. And then I thought, hey, I'll do a set at the Improv. So I pull into Hell's Kitchen at like 1030 at night in a Rolls Royce. I'm 20 years old, and I have $34,000 in a paper bag. I park the Rolls on the street. I go into the improv bud sees me i've been there once before but it goes jesus kid must be rich he goes you want to go on you want to go on i said yeah so i got i got my little tape recorder

you know and i put the thirty four thousand dollars on the piano and i got my tape recorder and i do my set and i kill i I'm like, ah, kill it. Everybody goes, whew, thank you, good night, thank you, thank you, right by you. I run out of there. I get in the Rolls, I'm driving, I'm listening to the set on the tape, ah, that worked good, that bit worked good, you know, and I get to the first toll booth and I go,

fuck, I don't have the $34,000. I said, so I turn all the way back. it's like an hour and i go back to new york city i pull up it's now one o'clock in the morning there's like a singer on and there's like five or six people left in the audience and i see the bag still sitting on the piano and i go oh i forgot my lunch excuse me excuse me and i look in the bag and it looks like all the money's here you know so i put it back and i would drove back Bob. But I would be just be getting out of prison now. Yeah, it's 150 grand today. Oh, yeah, yeah, easy.

Yeah, and that's not that excuse. Yeah, I left that on a piano, the improv. Yeah, exactly. Everybody, when I first came to America, everybody said when, like all the older comics, the best club comic to rip up a club ever was you. Oh, that's right. Pound ever was you like you always tore the shit out of it there was a really tiny woman i love being a club comic i i would always handle

with me comedians just wanted to be actors i'm just doing this to get a sitcom i don't know what are you doing it for yeah get out of the way and let people do it who want to do it you know i mean to me i'd love i'd love being like to me this is a nightmare you can't I mean, to me, I love being there. Like, to me, this is a nightmare. You can't get up anywhere and do anything. Yeah. You know, it's horrible.

It's horrible. I feel sorry for guys like you. I mean, I'm at the end of my career. So to me, okay, I made my money. I'm fine. It's just an inconvenience. But, I mean, I watch Forrest. It's really funny.

He's got great stuff. It's clever stuff. And I see you formulating it, you know, like when I watch some of those, one of the specials you did, I see your mind working on it as you're doing it. And I go, and that's how you grow as a comic. You do this every night. And I think it must be impossible for guys like you. Now, what do you do? You can't go anywhere. They've got zoom things, but there's not the same, like, you know, you do it online, but it's just, I've done a couple of them, but you just, without that.

It's like porno versus real girlfriend you know and porn's always better well initially i've always wanted to ask this joke we've known each other for a little while now okay you are maybe one of the most impersonated people on earth right you know you know when people do that like that right now does that bug the shit out of you, or do you see that as an honor in some way? No, it's all right. I mean, it doesn't, but when it's done poorly and people think it's good,

I go, really? That's terrible. Well, you know what I hate? I always hate impressionists who do not have jokes. You know? To me, if you're doing an impression of me and you got a great gag, oh, that's cool.

I hate it when the guy was doing an impression of me and you got a great gag oh that's cool i hated one impression when the guy was an impression of me and do my act yeah no no come up with something funny about me it can be insulting as long as it's funny it's okay i always hate impressions just sounded like the guy or the woman but could never but never had a joke to to go with it right but no i didn't i didn't mind you know when i did the tonight show you just got beat up every day everybody's mad about something and you had all the other people you know stirring and all those guys just attacking you endlessly and you and i just came to realize look when you play football you tackle a guy who's got the ball okay that's the way it is to me the tonight show was the ball and you're gonna get you're gonna get tackled so i never believed the good stuff so consequently i never believed the good stuff

so consequently i never believed the bad stuff so i just would always sort of just go along and you know it's funny now because now that i'm i step back i'm seeing all of a sudden oh they like you again what oh i thought you hate oh no it's very it's very easy with the internet when it beats you up just to go everyone hates me and ignore the good or i think i think what you said is right there is you is if you've got to ignore the good and ignore the bad and then i always i always because the internet beats me up so badly and then i go everyone hates me and i show up to a theater and there's like 2 000 people there and i'm like oh i must be doing something well yeah that's right no not to me man not to me i tell you about the impersonations is is one time i was at my agents

and they went they went Dana Carvey was just down here and I love Dana Carvey and they go he does a spot on

impersonation of you and I thought like what an honour right Dana Carvey's one of the great impersonators right anyway

ever since I met him a few times before that but ever since that moment someone must have told him that I was top because whenever he sees me in a comedy, he runs away.

Cause I'm like chasing after him. Like I want to see it. Um, so can you do an impersonation of Jim? You were, I thought you did it on the phone for me the other day. Sort of. I did an Australian accent sort of, I thought you tried to do it. I don't know day sort of I did? Yeah you did an Australian accent sort of

I thought you tried to do it No I didn't I don't know what I See I don't have a joke You gotta have a joke to do Oh yeah yeah that's true Yeah he gave it a go That's your impersonation

What the fuck is that Impersonation I'm not impersonating Yeah well you always do me You just go No my impersonation of Forrest is this Alright then Yeah, well, you always do me. You just go... No, my specialization of Forrest is this. All right, then.

All right, well, thanks a lot. I'm going to just not... Thank you. Ignore the good and the bad in that impersonation out there. But that's what they have to do. You can't believe the good stuff or the bad stuff. Do you have a favorite car in your collection? I'm sure people have asked for it. No, if I had a favorite car, I wouldn't have all these cars.

Okay. Yeah. That's the end of that question. I gonna go with a harem i like technology you know i like different stuff i like different eras you know and so you have like newer cars like you have a tesla right i have a tesla it's a great car yeah yeah and then but like you know i also have a 1906 steam car so there you go go. Now the steam car, do you have a boat with a shovel and coal? Or do you shovel and coal? No, there's no coal. What are you talking about? There's no coal.

Don't look at me like I'm a idiot. Coal is not steam. Oh, so it's boiling water. Oh, I don't know actually how a steam car works. As soon as I said it. Hey, you idiot. There's no coal. As soon as I said it, I go, I don't know how to steam a car.

It's a steam engine train. You get the fire heart. A steam engine train. That's a train. That's not a car. Yeah, but it's the same thing. It's making wheels turn. I like how you're telling him how his car works. I mean, most steam cars run on a liquid fuel.

They don't run on coal because coal is, you can't carry enough coal to make it. What you do is you take gasoline and you turn it into a gaseous state and then you inject it into a steam engine and it produces heat oh so you might as well just have a gas car yeah no but back they didn't have the internal combustion engine i had this vision of jay driving a big steam car and he had a small fella there with a shovel and then what what is your rarest car that you have in the club this is bradley with a shovel no no there's a scooping it into a little thing no no there's no call no call um and then what what is your rarest car that you have in the club this is he builds many of his own cars so there's several cars that are completely one-offs oh there's a couple of rare cars there's a car called a tabo lago that's a french car they only built 19 of those that's

pretty rare yeah i'd say that's rare a double steam car that's a French car. They only built 19 of those. That's pretty rare. Yeah, I'd say that's rare. A Doble steam car, that's rare. They only built a total of 40 of those. 19? I got three of those. So those are pretty rare. How do they only build 19? They're just like, we're good.

They're not because every car was, it's, you know, the trouble with a lot of these guys is they make something that's too good. They develop something and they go, oh, this is good. All right, let's make it. And then they start to make it. No, let me change it. I got something better.

And they would constantly change. That was the genius of Henry Ford. He built the same thing exactly the same way. And improvements came, you know, like thousands of cars between, you know. And I know this because it was a Trivial Pursuit question once, wasn't the slogan of the T-Model Ford, you can pick any color you want as long as it's black? No, what it was was, Model Ts came in all colors.

But the reason was Henry Ford, the more cars he made, the cheaper he could make the car. It was all volume sales. And black paint dries quicker than any other color black paint will dry in a half hour red paint takes an hour and 10 hour and 15 minutes just just because of the pigment so consequently if you paint them all black you could make 100 cars an hour you didn't have to sit around waiting for the paint to dry before you can move the assembly line along well i don't know about yeah well the internet says right yeah i just said it up as he was yeah i

never read that yes you never knew that yeah yeah it said it there it said because of efficiency yeah it's a you the slogan was correct what you said like you can get any color as long as you get in black but they did it in black because the of efficiency of production it was see that's that's a trivia question yeah you say what has more precision parts, a Model T or a Rolls Royce? At the end, like right now, usually in the podcast, I would say, hey, we have this thing called a dinner party fact where we ask

our guests to give something for the listeners that people probably wouldn't know. All right, I'll give you this one. Okay, good. There you go. I was going to give it to you until you interrupted me with the dinner fact. People say, which has more precision parts, a Rolls Royce or a Model T? Most people say a Rolls Royce. Well, no, a Rolls Royce, they would make one a week or two a week.

And if something wasn't right, the guy would take it off the line, take a file, get it perfect, get it fit. Okay, make it all fit. Whereas with a Model T, when you make 100 cars an hour or 500 cars an hour each part has got to fit perfectly because it's just it's just happening so fast and so quickly so that's why a model t has more precision parts than than a rolls-royce because everything everything's got to move quickly and and it has to fit it's imperative from a cost basis you know rolls-royce

if it takes longer to fix it you just raise the price because rich people didn't care they just pay more it's fine but a model t had to reach a certain price point so every part had to be exact i don't know if we've ever had a specialist on the show who has known more we've had doctors and professors and stuff that have had to i'm gonna try to beat you just on a question i'm gonna try to beat you on one here okay what was the first car to have a radio in it the first car to have a radio in it was uh about 1928 you know the name motorola just like the phones yeah they make the phones okay okay no no the two guys the most popular form of music in the 20s was the Victrola.

So they invented a car radio that fit in a car and they call it a motor roller as opposed to a Victrola, a motor roller, meaning it's a motor for a car, but it's also a radio. So that's where Motorola. Yep. Motorola was Galvin Brothers. Motorola was the first. Yeah, it was 1930. But we're going to give it to you no no i said they developed it in 28 it came out it went on sale in 1930 it came out in 1930 that's correct that was what you were trying to get him with that one jim i thought you didn't know the answer i didn't know the answer i

just was gonna ask you you try and stop him again you got another one yeah what else you got the answer i just was gonna ask you you try and stop them again you got another one yeah what else you got uh okay what what car was the first car to have automatic gears in it like an automatic what was the first automatic car well manual automatic that would be olsenby on 1938 that would be the hydromatic that was the first automatic transmission 1940 but yeah well again developed in 38 yeah kelly developed and then it was it was the hydromatic was introduced in 1940 but yeah i feel like this is like my cousin vinny right now i'm saying when the guy worked on it right i'm not saying you're wrong i'm fucking like my mind is blown right now i'd be like to wadi how's it going my cousin vinny when they test their knowledge of cars all right you got any other questions jim you know i i can't stop this man anything else

you need i can't stop this man all right well jay i'd like to thank you for being in the podcast well thanks for having me on it's a lot of fun you guys i appreciate it i enjoyed your special it's really good thank you that means a lot to me and i love forrest it was really funny thank you thank you so much no no i can see no i. I know what I'm talking about here because I, I watch a lot of comics and I can see you. I like the way you think. I like the way you develop it. I see your mind.

So you're interesting to watch as a performer. I hate guys who just get up and memorize a bunch of stuff and you do the same thing. I see the wheels turning. I see. I know you've said these things before, cause I'm not naive, but I can see you're constantly looking for a better way to say it.

And that's what makes it interesting to me to watch, to watch the process, to watch you read the audience and then you change how you do it. Both you guys are really good. Thanks. Thank you. All right. Well, if you're ever at a party and someone comes up

and you're having an argument with someone and they disagree with you and they have some fact just say well i don't know about that and walk away and you'll still win the argument good night australia yeah good night good night lads Hey everybody, Jason Ellis here from the Jason Ellis Show podcast, reminding you that my podcast, new episodes every Wednesday, downloadable where all podcasts are available. Come see my friends, Michael and Kevin, as we talk to you about what's awesome, what sucks, fitness, fighting, parenting, life, spin kicks, LGBTQ community, how to defend yourself against a shark if it attacks you out of nowhere,

and much, much more. So come join us.