I Don't Know About That - Checking in with the IDKAT Crew

Episode Date: May 31, 2022

This week, WE HAVE NO GUEST! So instead, listen to the gang talk about a case of monkey pox penis and watch Jim and Forrest play a custom game of Guess Who with Jack's friends as characters. Oh! And C...omment World is back! Our merch store is now live! Go to idontknowaboutthat.com for shirts, hoodies, mugs, and more! Subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/IDKAT for ad free episodes, bonus episodes, and more exclusive perks! Tiers start at just $2! Go to JimJefferies.com to buy tickets to Jim's upcoming tour, The Moist Tour.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:02:17 That's wild. Get smarter CBD from NextEvo Naturals and get up to 25% off subscription orders of $40 or more at nextevo.com slash podcast. Promo code IDK. That's N-E-X-T-E-V-O dot com slash podcast promo code IDK. coasters both rolling and for tables which one would you put a drink on you might find out but i don't know about that with jim jeffries that's me yeah i'll tell you the answer it's the one on the table it took me a second to be like what you don't want to put a you don't want It's the one on the table. It took me a second to be like, what the fuck are you talking about with roller coasters?
Starting point is 00:03:05 You don't want to put a drink on a roller coaster. Why not? That'd be- I would try it. That would have felt like a sippy cup. It was a sippy cup or it was a plastic cup. One of those big yard glasses with a big straw that you carry around Vegas. I would do it with a wine glass.
Starting point is 00:03:20 Yeah. Oh, yeah. I like to take risks, though. There's an episode of Jim will fix it with Jimmy Savile, which if you watch the documentary, but one of the most famous episodes is one of the kids wrote in and went, I'd like to eat my lunch on a roller coaster. And so they put a whole lot of kids on a roller coaster and they ate food
Starting point is 00:03:37 whilst they're going around. And it is a good watch. Wait, Jimmy who? Jimmy Savile, the pedophile. You haven't, you don't know about this?
Starting point is 00:03:44 Yeah. I thought you meant Jimmy Kimmel. And then I was like, did you say Kimmel or Savile? Yeah? Jimmy Savile, the pedophile. You don't know him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you meant Jimmy Kimmel, and then I was like, did you say Kimmel or Savile? Yeah, yeah, Jimmy Savile. It was called Jim will fix it. And there was going to be a segment on our show, and then we decided against it. I remember the Jim will fix it, actually.
Starting point is 00:03:59 I thought that'd be good. Yeah. Maybe you didn't have to do a pedophile rap. No, but someone said, oh, there's got a segment we call Jim Will Fix It on the Jim Jefferies show. And I was like, there's a pedophile in Britain. And that was the name of his TV show. So I'm all for it.
Starting point is 00:04:16 We've needed an Australian pedophile. It's true. So we've had it. Look, we record these podcasts. We've had a rough week with the shooting of the school in Texas. People write to me after these shootings and Jim say something. Yeah. I was, I was actually going to ask you specifically because it's like,
Starting point is 00:04:33 you've got this gun control bit that, that goes viral every time there's a mass shooting and there it's gotta be interesting for you to, to then be approached about it every single time. I don't get any joy from getting extra hits or anything like that. Or you're responsible for these shootings. That's what we're asking. I would be very happy if that material got forgotten and it was a part of history.
Starting point is 00:04:54 It'd be good. If it wasn't relevant, that would be the goal, you know. It's embarrassing. Yeah, look. It's fucking embarrassing. People are like, get out of this country. I want to stay here. I'm just saying it's fucking embarrassing. People are like, get out of this country. I want to stay here. I'm just saying it's fucking embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:05:07 Also, for anyone. I don't hate America because I say the guns and the stupid and all that type of stuff. This country could be a utopia, but it's being blocked, and people are fucking morons. And then the guns, the people, it's mental health problems. We have mental health problems all over the world. Australia and the U.S. have the same level of mental health problems. We have mental health problems all over the world. Australia and the US have the same level of mental health problems.
Starting point is 00:05:27 I would say more. In Britain, mental health is called being an eccentric. They rejoice you as you walk down the street with a tin pot on your head and you go, there's Jerry the eccentric. And for us, before you got here, I was talking to them about there's a massacre at a McDonald's in 1984 in San Diego where a guy went in, shot 40 people, 22 dead, 19 injured, whatever. Babies, children, all of these people in the play place. They should have never taken away the McRib.
Starting point is 00:05:55 And I've never heard of it. Like, which just goes to show how big of a problem we have in this country when a massive shooting like that. I've never even vaguely heard about it ever. The one in Las Vegas, that should have been, that went away so quickly. And it was, what was it?
Starting point is 00:06:14 50 something people. So it was like close to 60. Yeah. Hundreds like injured that. That is like one of the craziest things. Like by hotels doing a concert. Like, and so,
Starting point is 00:06:24 and that was just like, yeah, wait, we moved on from that. I mean, the supermarket one that's ever happened. Manly Bay Hotel's doing fine. Shooting at a concert. And that was just like, yeah, we moved on from that. I mean, the supermarket one was a week ago. It's like, I was on a plane yesterday and like everybody had it on, on the TV. You know, it's interesting though. The CNN fucks. On the back of the seat. But everyone had it on watching it.
Starting point is 00:06:41 And it was just like, and Biden talking. And it was just like, it was just embarrassing. I was watching CNN and then I watched like and biden talking and it was just like this is embarrassing and it's i i was watching cnn and then i watched uh biden get up and talk and then i went gotta go over to fox and see what's happened yeah and he was there like the mexican pizza's back and you're like wait what fucking carlson was there sitting there and he's there going can you believe what we just saw? There's been a tragedy and the president tried to politicize it, tried to move his political agenda. What are they trying to do here?
Starting point is 00:07:13 This country has lost its way. We've lost our faith in our religion. That's the problem. And it's like, when would we have time to talk about it? There's been more mass shootings than days this year. He didn't even talk about it. Biden said, we have to do something. This doesn't happen
Starting point is 00:07:28 in other countries. That's not pushing a policy. That's just, you have to do something. It is political to protect kids. He also has had two kids die, one of them very young. He has? Oh no, no, no. Tucker mentioned it. Oh, Biden. Tucker mentioned it.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Tucker went, how can a man who has lost his children be so, just like he couldn't, he's such a fuckwit. He's like, I always try, like even like someone like Sean Hannity, I get it. I get who he is. I get where he grew up and how he is. Tucker, he must just be full of shit. He must just be like.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Yeah, just collecting checks. Just skewing out bullshit. Yeah, they just want this. I'm going to give them what they want. He must just be like, just collecting checks. Yeah. Like, like, you know, bullshit. Yeah. They just want this.
Starting point is 00:08:07 I'm going to give them what they want. Give them what they want. It's on the back of my sweatshirt, which by the way, you can get it. I don't know about that. Dot com. I will say this though,
Starting point is 00:08:15 because we're recording this podcast earlier than when it comes out. Oh, we should, we should mention another shooting that happened. Yeah. We, we don't want to confuse you with what shooting this is. This is the one of the elementary school. Just so you know want to confuse you with what shooting this is. This is one of the elementary schools,
Starting point is 00:08:26 just so you know. There could be many more before this podcast comes out. And this shooting happened only 60 miles away from Mexico. Well, it was very quick for the right wing to turn it into an immigration thing because they saw
Starting point is 00:08:43 That sounds like they're politicizing the situation. Yeah, they saw his name and then they go, well, did he illegally immigrate here? And you're like, now you're just throwing out speculation. They shot his grandmother. Yeah. That's how long the family's been there. The grandmother got shot.
Starting point is 00:08:59 It's just, it's fucking sickening. She's got to be having a ropey time in hospital on life support. So is everyone okay? Well, you're okay. Oh, yeah. But other people aren't okay. Your car isn't wrecked. Oh, so she survived.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Yeah, she survived. She's in critical condition surviving. And we have a few questions for you. Did you not report him when he said ABC? Like, she could be going to prison for giving him a gun or whatever. I'm just speculating. Well, he bought them legally. Well, he apparently on his social media a few days before the shooting,
Starting point is 00:09:28 he had posted pictures of all of his guns and stuff too. And it's like. He posted, I'm going to shoot my grandmother now. I'm going to go 15 minutes before now. I'm going to go do a school now. Oh, I didn't even know that was happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You fucking weird.
Starting point is 00:09:39 Why can't any of them like shoot Mitch McConnell or something? I'd get behind that. Oh, don't either. Oh, God, Forrest, don't. We're trying to drive listeners to the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Why did Forrest politicize?
Starting point is 00:09:57 So I don't want to, I just said I don't want to talk about it because they're going to do nothing. We're all going to do fucking nothing. You know, Steve Kerr got on the fucking TV. Yeah, I posted. I did my part. I posted Steve Kerr's rant. That was a great speech.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Steve Kerr, man, he made me tear up, man, more than any politician. Fucking good on you, Steve Kerr. And there's a man whose father was shot dead, I believe, right? He was. He was the head of the American University in Beirut, and he was taken hostage and executed. Holy shit. We'll see what happens in other countries, Forrest.
Starting point is 00:10:27 It didn't just happen here. So why don't you move to Beirut where it seems so safe? Yeah. Not only did that happen when he was in college, this is how shitty college kids are, by the way. He was, I think he went to either Arizona or Arizona State, and whatever school he didn't go to, they were playing that other school, like their rivals.
Starting point is 00:10:45 And after his dad got killed, he was obviously a great basketball player in college. The other crowd started chanting, where's your dad? What? You gotta look that up. Jesus fucking Christ. They're fucking ticking in college, yeah. Oh my God. I hate everyone.
Starting point is 00:10:59 But he's such a, he's a very, man, it's two of the people that I feel like speak some of the best on social issues are basketball coaches, which is fucking great. Steve Kerr and Greg Popovich. You look up quote after quote things and things that they said, and they have a platform that they're using. You know, who does Popovich coach for the Spurs? The two of those poppets speaks on race a lot, you know, but Kerr is very smart. Povich speaks on race a lot, you know, but Kerr is very smart and I think it's great because it's like they have this huge platform,
Starting point is 00:11:28 you know, and they're using it for something and maybe nothing gets done, but at least he's saying something. And he did it before a very important game. He didn't just do it in mid-season. They didn't lose, to be fair. That's the thing with politicians, right? It's like we can vote for all these people who are against this stuff,
Starting point is 00:11:44 but unless they're doing shit about it, I don't give a shit how you feel about this unless you're putting it into action why are we not doing anything like like you can't say that doing nothing will fix it so let's do something i don't care if we do an experiment on your side i i'm at the i'm at the stage now all right let's try your more guns argument let's give it a year yeah give everybody a good see if it gets worse i don't know but like i i think that guns should be insured the same way you have to insure your car the insurance companies will check on you to see if you're a worthy gun owner and then if your gun is stolen and you don't report it you're responsible for anything that happens with that gun after that point have them registered to each person.
Starting point is 00:12:25 But I don't know. I'm just a stupid Australian. I just want to clear it up. So, okay. He went to the University of Arizona. So it was the Arizona State fans. Yep. And they were chanting PLO because he was killed by PLO.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Your father's history. And why don't you join the Marines and go back to Beirut? Good job, Arizona State. Wait, that's so much worse. How did they get together to get that chant going with everybody? That must have been a lot of pre-planning. It was, to be, okay, I want to be fair. It wasn't the entire Arizona State crowd, but there was a section.
Starting point is 00:12:51 It was just Andrew Wontuck and his friends. It might have been. Let's check where it was. Oh, my God, it's him in the photo. Just a blonde white guy. That checks out. Brittany's chugging a beer. These are friends of ours.
Starting point is 00:13:08 The girls are hot there at Arizona State. Oh, they're good looking. Tell you what, Arizona State is when if your kid's not that smart, but you still want them to go to university, you can get them into Arizona State. Yeah. Julia went there too. That's like the rich guys who shag models,
Starting point is 00:13:23 and they have those good looking kids, and they're like, all right, I got, I got you into a university. Yeah. Cause if you ever do the Tempe improv, it's basically an Arizona States campus. Yeah. Like after the show. Yeah. You're out there like, Holy shit. What's this?
Starting point is 00:13:34 What's going on here? Model truck tip over here. I'm single. If a model truck does tip over, I don't know if they want you to be the repair guy. Have you ever seen the model farm? It's terrible. I saw a documentary on it.
Starting point is 00:13:56 They're treated so inhumanely. They're on like four inch chains, so they don't move around a lot. You know, so they don't like damage any of the product. All in stilettos. It's terrible. They're only fed celery. That's my preference. You know, so they don't damage any of the product. All in stilettos. It's terrible. They're only fed celery. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:06 That's my preference. Yeah, yeah. No shade to models. We love models. Models are good. The best, the best. And the buses. They're all good.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Oh, we love buses. Huge fan of buses. Also, I want to talk about something serious. I've got a cold. That is serious. I got it in Greenville. What? We both just said that is serious. That is serious, sarcastically. No, no, no. I got it in Greenville. What? We both just said that.
Starting point is 00:14:26 That is serious. Sarcastically. No, no, no. I saw your post. You were like, thanks, Greenville. Whoever gave me a cold, fuck you. I didn't post that. Fuck Knuckle did.
Starting point is 00:14:34 I actually almost screenshot that picture and sent it to him. And who wrote this fucking caption? Jim would never say this. I read it as well. I was like, I sound like a bitch. What if you gave me a head cold? What if you gave me a head cold? I said, I got a as well. I was like, well, I sound like a bitch. I said, I got a head cold. I got it in buddy.
Starting point is 00:14:50 The thing is, Jack didn't even put Greenville in the post. He put Cleveland. I wasn't even there. And people were like, people were like, ah, that's your screen.
Starting point is 00:15:00 But I could see myself in the front row. That was a late at night. But I was like, fucking hell, Jack. We were there two in the front row. It's late at night. But I was like, fuck it. Oh, we were there two weeks ago. Yeah. Oh,
Starting point is 00:15:09 you did. You edit it. Yeah. Baltimore and Greenville. You still have me whinging about my cold. I have a cold. I seriously almost complained about it to you, but then I was like,
Starting point is 00:15:20 there is a chance that Jack posted that. I was literally going to. You should have complained. Who the fuck wrote this? You should have complained. I thought it was funny. Here's what it Baltimore and Greenville, you were awesome. Except one of you gave me a head cold. If you had a great time,
Starting point is 00:15:31 please shake up my killer openers. The only reason I have those posts. I didn't have anything to do with the post. I just saw it. It just appeared. And I was like, what are you fucking doing? That's got to be a weird sensation to see something that is written in your name and then you're like what the fuck yeah yeah i just thought it'll go down the feed it's at the top of my feed every time i check now and it's like
Starting point is 00:15:57 two days ago i'm like what the i have to live in purgatory with this fucking post yeah jay i don't mention any illnesses i have oh Oh, it was good. You gave me the clap. It was good being in New York. Why is my dick leaking? But we all know why it's leaking. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:17 I, but I, I did, I walked out. I had great shows in Baltimore and Greenville. They were, they were great, but I did walk out in front of the people at Greenville. and I said, hey, it's great to be here in Greensville
Starting point is 00:16:27 like this. And they all started booing. We're Greenville. We're not Greensville. We're Greenville. And I went, what the fuck do you want me to do? I said, make yourself more memorable. This is how I started the show. I said, make yourself more memorable. It's not like I walk out and go, it's great to be here in New York. I know its name because it's popular. That is funny, though, because you messed it up.
Starting point is 00:16:56 And then fucking Clint Jack just bumped him off the post. Greenville? We never went there. Oh, we should mention at this stage of the podcast, we don't have a guest. We've just been nattering on. What happened is we had a dropout. Plus, it's very hard to get guests at the moment
Starting point is 00:17:15 because there's something to do with it. Most of our people are professors or teachers or something like that. It's finals week. It's the end of the semester. So we have all these people backlogged for a couple of weeks' time. I've got 14 or 15 experts already lined up ready to go as soon as you get back from Australia. But we
Starting point is 00:17:29 may do a few episodes while you're traveling where it's just us via Zoom because we want to still put out content for you guys but obviously doing an expert while you're traveling is very difficult. So you can also check us out on Patreon. Patreon.com slash IDCat Merch is at idontknowaboutthat.com,
Starting point is 00:17:45 Instagram, idcatpodcast. And did Andrew Tyler reach out to you? We're thinking of selling some, I don't know about that, merch on the Australian tour. If you want to get some of that. We've got some other merch as well. You've been talking to him? Yeah, I hooked him up with Harris. So they're emailing about that.
Starting point is 00:18:01 We've got, okay, what the serious thing I want to talk about. You've got shows this week i think they're sold out aren't they yeah they're doing very well winnipeg saskatoon regina be there or be canadian or be square or not be canadian or not be canadian and then you got australia and then i got australia australia there's an extra show in fucking the Palais in Melbourne that went on sale and another show somewhere. I want to say Sydney. There's still some tickets to Auckland.
Starting point is 00:18:34 And then the rest of the tour is completely sold. So we've got those three little extra shows. And then Hawaii when you get back. And then Hawaii when I get back. Maui and Honolulu in the end of July or early September or something. Yeah, cuz. Two months that are right
Starting point is 00:18:52 next to each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. July or September. I don't know. August 5th and 6th, I believe, are their shows or August 6th and 7th. It's on jimjeffries.com. Oh, there's August in between there. Yeah, August is what it is. Yeah, there you go. And this is the serious thing I want to talk about. Monkeypox. Oh, shouldn's August in between there. Yeah, August is what it is. Yeah, there you go. And this is the serious thing I want to talk about.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Monkeypox. Oh, shouldn't we break for ads first? Yeah, ads. Now we're back. Monkeypox. Hey, hang in there. We're going to read some ads when we come back. Monkeypox.
Starting point is 00:19:16 What's up with that? Should you send your kids to school with them? Today's episode is sponsored by Honey. I'm not a fan of going shopping. There's always so many people. Parking is crazy. It takes forever. And most importantly, there's no damn Honey discounts in the store.
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Starting point is 00:20:18 Cowboyhats.com. Shirts of bands that were famous before I was born.com. Yeah, that's another one. Shirts of bands that I was famous before. No, that's also one of my favorite sites. Women who won't sleep slash talk to me. .com.
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Starting point is 00:20:44 I mean, I don't want to pay full price for that. Or a shirt from a band that was famous before you were born. Or a Lego construction of a studio of a TV show that you used to watch. I'd show those on before I was born. So you're building your bewitched Lego set and you think, I'd like a discount. When you get to checkout, the Honey button drops down
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Starting point is 00:21:32 but I went on the site and it was 20% off and so I treated myself. And it came straight to your door? Yeah. It's a good travel bag. Good travel bag. Kelly gave examples of her purchase. If you don't already have honey, you could be straight up missing out. Why does anybody want to skip the ads?
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Starting point is 00:22:11 And we're back. Such a fun name, the Monkey Pox. It, you know, look, it's. Sounds like a cereal. Yeah. Hopefully we didn't do it. Have you seen footage of the monkey pox, man? It makes COVID a walk in the park.
Starting point is 00:22:28 It looks bad. It looks bad. They had a bunch of blisters. COVID was a bit of fun when you got to stay at home and elderly people didn't like it. They had a tube stuffed down your throat. People died. It was bad.
Starting point is 00:22:39 But visually, it's not like anyone finished. No one got COVID, survived COVID, and then gone. Have you checked why their eyes are so droopy? COVID. Or their hair feel like COVID. No, no, no. But there's long COVID. I know people with heart issues.
Starting point is 00:22:54 I know people that have- I know physically, but physically looking- You just say monkey pox is cosmetically much worse. Yeah, it is worse. For the most part. Monkey pox, you know all about it. If you get the fucking monkey pox. The Associated Press put out an article two days ago that said monkey pox likely spread
Starting point is 00:23:10 by sex at two raves in Europe. What? Yeah. Why would you ever fuck a person with a monkey pox dick? It would just be like one of those ribbed condoms with the studs for a rough ride or one. That's what you told them. You're like, you got a condom on?
Starting point is 00:23:26 Yep. Yep. Yeah, I dare. Running into that. Why would you have sex at a rave? Well, you know. Where else do you do it? You've never been to a rave?
Starting point is 00:23:34 Yeah. You're on ecstasy? I can think of many reasons. There's just- Maybe one more. One more. Feels like a very tense situation. There's a lot of women there that are free with their bodies.
Starting point is 00:23:43 What do you- It's a great reason. Yeah, there's tents. There's tents. Okay, you're right. I didn't mean the girls. I just did the tents. I didn't know there were tents. Yeah, I'm fucking at raves for sure. There's portaloos. What are you?
Starting point is 00:23:58 Yes, very nice. Exquisite. Yeah, so here's what happens. Symptoms again with a fever, headache, muscle pain, swollen lymph nodes. I have a fever and a headache this is followed by a rash that forms blisters and crusts over anytime you get some crusts apparently that shit doesn't show up for 14 days the time from exposure to onset symptoms is usually 7 to 14 days boom duration is 2 to 4 weeks causes may be severe especially in children pregnant women or people with suppressed immune systems monkey pox bitches you don't want it well here you go there's a t-shirt here's a gross sentence may be severe, especially in children, pregnant women, or people with suppressed immune systems. Monkeypox, bitches.
Starting point is 00:24:25 You don't want it. Here you go. There's a T-shirt. Here's a gross sentence. Monkeypox may be spread from handling bush meat. What? That's what they call them at John. Yeah, you meet girls like that at the range.
Starting point is 00:24:39 We used to call them bush pigs, but that's too politically incorrect. That's an Australian term for a rough-looking girl, a bush pig. You never used that one? Bay of pigs. Bush meat is meat from wildlife species that are hunted for human consumption. It includes primates, even toad ungulates,
Starting point is 00:24:58 bats. Toad ungulates? Bats. Rodents. What's a toad ungulate? You know what it is. Even toad ungulate. Jack's like toad ungulate? You know what it is. Even toad ungulate. Jack's like against. Nobody knows what you're saying. Are you saying like a toad under it?
Starting point is 00:25:13 What does ungulate mean? Even toad ungulate. It's like a hoofed animal. There you go. Wait, toads have hooves? Isn't it one word? It's even like a toad with hooves. Odd toad and even toad. Even's even like a toad. Odd toad and even toad. Even toad and odd toad. Gotcha.
Starting point is 00:25:30 I'm still not following this. You know even numbers are odd numbers? Yeah. I know even and odd numbers. You're saying like every third toad is no good. Wait, wait, wait. So an even toad ungulate, you should know one because you've seen it's hoofed up a foot close.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Even toes hoofed. Even toed? Yeah. And an ungulate's a different animal. No, that's the same thing. Are we talking about frogs? No, no, no, no. Jim, Jim, there's even number and odd number.
Starting point is 00:26:00 So even toed. I know, I know even and odd number. So no even and odd number. Even toed. Camel is an even toad ungulate. Camel has two toes. I think mostly we were confused about the word ungulate. I was confused by the beginning as well.
Starting point is 00:26:12 So even toad got that. But I'm all right with this because my camel intake, I've taken it way down. Ungulate, ungulate. Okay, ungulate. So a woman's vagina is an even toad. Camel toe, yeah. Is it an ungulate, though?
Starting point is 00:26:25 Pigs, hippopotamuses, antelopes, deer, giraffe, camel. I like how they dropped in all these weird animals you can get it from, and then one of them's pork. Have you eaten giraffe recently? I don't think it's all pigs. I thought hippos. I don't think hippos are pork. Yeah, they're in the pork family.
Starting point is 00:26:42 It works. Do you think the monkeys, who are the only animal not listed on this list, are sitting back going, and we get the fucking bad press, do we? This is bad representation for monkeys. Bushmeat can't include primates, it says. Who's hunting them? People that want to eat.
Starting point is 00:26:57 I don't know if you know this. There's not grocery stores in some parts of the world, so they just eat what they can hunt. We didn't ever sell on the Amazon. There's just people in the Amazon eating monkeys, man. Yeah, you should have been there. Oh, you were here. I was over here. That episode probably hasn't aired yet, but guys. Hey, just say no.
Starting point is 00:27:12 We're doing an episode on the Amazon rainforest. This is the pre-show. Monkey Pucks. Edit that out. No, it's fine. Okay. Alright, so Jack has a game that he wants to play with us called Guess Who? And it's all just friends of ours on the Guess Who? And you guys are on it too. Yeah, we're all on it. But I wants to play with us called Guess Who? And it's all just friends of ours on the Guess Who? And you guys are on it too.
Starting point is 00:27:26 Yeah, we're all on it. But I like to do a thing called profiling on Guess Who? You can't ask questions that can be answered like, is this person wearing glasses? Does this person have a moustache? You can't do anything physicality. It's got to be questions like, has this person been in an orgy? Does this person take cocaine
Starting point is 00:27:45 on the semi-regular? Right? So you and Forrest are going to play? Yeah. Who are the people? Jack will give us a card. It's Jack's friends and then we're all on it too. We're on it. How do you have this much time, Jack? I didn't make it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:02 So wait, what am I doing now? What do I do? You know how to play guess who no i've never played it you never played it no flip your board flip it this way this way okay okay okay so so you get given a person uh-huh and you put it in that little hole wait a minute i got oh no okay it's the name above okay okay. Put it in the hole there. Now, they've got to guess your person, and I've got to guess your person. Why are there two names on this? Because he's put a sticker over an existing card.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Whatever's on the sticker. Okay. I got it. Yeah. Whatever's on the sticker. Okay. So I'm going to ask you. I know some of these people.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Yeah. Yeah. One of them's you. Yeah. I noticed that. Okay. Yeah, yeah. One of them's you.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Yeah, I noticed that. Okay. Does this person have... Is this person ever had an STD? And I can say yes, no, or I don't know. No, no, you've got to give your opinion on the person. It's profiling. Oh.
Starting point is 00:29:02 I've met this person, right? I don't know. Just give your opinion by looking at them. Do they have one? I've met this person, right? I don't know. I just gave you just give your opinion by looking at it. Do they have one? I would say no. People who haven't had STDs. He's being Kelly and Jack, too. So your person has had STDs or has not?
Starting point is 00:29:18 Not. There's not. I know this person, right? All right. Kelly's gone. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Yeah. So I thought it was i wasn't sure this is really profiling how am i already out who's that girl um hey hey hey how you doing this guy all day is that them oh we have the same board yeah yeah we have the same board yeah Yeah. We have the same board. Yeah. Oh, okay. Todd glass all day. Jack is not. You should be flipping it. Oh,
Starting point is 00:29:49 you're filming. Okay. Louise. Who's this guy in the cowboy hat? Yeah. Okay. All right. Now you,
Starting point is 00:29:56 now you get to ask a question. Okay. I get to ask him a question. No, don't I ask you now? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Okay. And nothing, nothing physical, huh? No, no. Yeah. Like the guy, the real game you meant to go to this person have head is this Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. And nothing physical, huh? No, no. Yeah. Like the real game you're meant to go to,
Starting point is 00:30:06 does this person have hair? Does this person have a mustache? Does this person have whatever? Is it a man or a woman or whatever? But you're going to ask questions where it's just I give my opinion and we see if we come up with the right person. Okay. Has this person ever been addicted to drugs or alcohol?
Starting point is 00:30:19 Kelly's already gone, so you're fucked. Yes. Yes? Yes. Okay. All right. Yeah. already gone so you're fucked yes yes okay so anybody who hasn't been addicted to drugs or alcohol you would want to put down I shouldn't have asked that everyone looks like they've been addicted
Starting point is 00:30:36 didn't really clear the board like you thought you would uh maybe consider that most of them are Jack's friends so they probably don't really clear the board like you thought you would have. Maybe. Consider that most of them are Jack's friends, so they probably don't. Yeah, addicted to... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:56 I thought these guys, those are two different people. Let's just Jack and Sean. Okay. Okay. Has your person ever been in a threesome no absolutely not so Jack gets to stay up
Starting point is 00:31:13 no one gets to stay up Madeline I hope you have she's a bagpiper that guy has oh no you're saying no no yes that's people who has
Starting point is 00:31:29 that guy has that's it I'm just left with Jack's friends now laughing laughing laughing um does this person
Starting point is 00:31:45 do you think they enjoy spicy food it's a mild yes I'm giving you a hint there on special occasions it's a guy okay bye bye Kelly It's a guy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:06 Bye-bye, Kelly. I don't know if this is a guy or a girl. It's a guy's name. You don't know these things. Maybe mild, yes. That guy doesn't. Wait, who did he not tell? Liam, I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Liam looks a little bit like, what's her name from Grace and Frankie? Oh, yeah. Fuck, I can't think of her name right now. I know exactly who you're talking about. Not Jane Fonda, the other one. The other one. Lily Tomlin. Liam looks a little bit like her. I don't think Liam likes spicy food at all.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Louise definitely likes it, even though this picture is infuriating. Connor. Joe looks like he'll get. Okay. All right. Todd Glass doesn't eat spicy food. Just guessing. Does this person.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Is this person a Democrat? Yeah, I would say yes. Fuck, they're all Democrats. I've got... Who could be a Republican here? Okay. Did you just put somebody down with a cowboy hat? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Is this person married? No. Emphatically no. No, maybe he never touched a woman, huh? I can't wait to send this to my friends. Okay. Okay. Does this person have a degree that's useless?
Starting point is 00:33:41 That's useless. I don't. I would say no. Fair question. They're all useless. Yeah, I'm not sure. I would say no. Jack's degree is useless.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Sean probably has a good one. Emily and Kylie, they studied some Bachelor of Nothing Liam's fucking he didn't finish alright alright is this person confident he's going to tell us right now if they have a reason to be confident yes but shouldn't be okay
Starting point is 00:34:34 it's Luis I think I got it down to these two guys okay does your person have a large wardrobe of clothes I think I got it down to these two guys. Okay. Does your person have a large wardrobe of clothes? I'd say no. So I'd get rid of the people who do have clothes. I mean, I don't think they do. They look like they don't think about their outfit a lot yeah okay as does my person seem
Starting point is 00:35:11 annoying yes okay wow i couldn't believe that you just put that one down no but i don't think it was between this guy i have and louise and I thought you wouldn't say that about Luis here. He would definitely call Luis annoying. Does this person go on about their allergies? I would say yeah, for sure. They might be in a commercial for it. All right, all right. I think I've got it.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Okay. Is your person Quinton. I think I've got it. Okay. Who do you have? Is your person Quentin? No, my person is Sean. I said Sean had a big wardrobe. I didn't know. I don't know. Because Jack has a big wardrobe.
Starting point is 00:35:56 I thought it was a family thing. I don't know that Jack has a big wardrobe. Okay, what's your person? What do you reckon? Cam Nguyen. No, Chris. Oh, okay. Who's Chris? Exactly. you reckon cam when no chris oh okay who's chris exactly i don't know who cam when was but it was
Starting point is 00:36:10 between him and louise and he looked the most annoying you wouldn't want to hang out with that guy who's cam when cam's cool he's not annoying i know the other cam all right that's fun it works on the simpsons so you guys just printed this up, huh? Yeah, a bit of fun. A bit of fun. A bit of fun. I think there's a game show in the works. Some networks bought, like, guess who?
Starting point is 00:36:32 Oh, really? Oh, can you hand me my computer, please? Wait for it. You really think I'm confident in shouldn't be? Well, no. The people that were left there, I didn't think you were confident. When did you flip down Chris? What was the thing that made you flip. The people that were left there. I didn't think you were confident. Why did you flip down Chris? What did you,
Starting point is 00:36:48 what was the thing that made you flip down Chris? I don't remember. I don't remember where Chris was. You'd have to check the tape. I, you know what it was? The spicy one. I really kinda, I might've flipped them down.
Starting point is 00:36:59 You know, you were right. He, he can't do it. He can't handle spice. That was a good assumption. He's got to hear it about. I handle spice. That was a good assumption. He got irritated about it. I was impressed by some of the correct assumptions
Starting point is 00:37:08 and then some of the way incorrect ones. I loved all of it. It was awesome. My guy fit your criteria. Yeah, I guess so. I thought you were going to get it because you said Sean at one point. I was like, gosh, Sean's in the running. I'm pretty sure this is Jack's brother. Then Luis confirmed it.
Starting point is 00:37:23 I know I've met him. He just moved in down the street too. Your brother lives down the street now? Just now. He just moved in. Is he using his degree? Yes. He had to prop up a table so I didn't wobble as much. Physics major. That's what he does. I heard that there's a segment you're going to do that we haven't done
Starting point is 00:37:39 in a while. That's right. Comment world. It's comment world. Jack, don't proofread in comment while. That's right. Comment world. It's comment world. Jack, don't proofread in comment world. Comment world. Kyle Mocha. Have you heard this one? Or that other
Starting point is 00:37:56 girl. If you're getting to me, let's all play nice. Let's keep it. He's got a lot of corporate Russians there comment world comment world five stars only in comment that one guy or five guy it's one guy probably harmonizing with himself and eating a five guy harmonizing with yourself is what I used to call masturbating I was doing a zoom from Jack's room and Jack goes,
Starting point is 00:38:25 he goes, he points to the bed and he goes, this is where the magic happens. And I went mostly sleight of hand. It's not wrong. That is the best part that you do the zoom meetings from Jack's room. So everybody sees you with this, like he has to clarify the top of every moment. I have to tell everybody that I'm not a big grateful dead head.
Starting point is 00:38:44 That's a good sketch, Jack. You should do that. This is where the magic happens. And then you're like, is there a condom behind your ear? We won't be using that. Too soon? Okay. Throw that away. Let's get a plan B.
Starting point is 00:39:02 Here's morning after pill behind your other ear. Wow, comment world. Just so everyone knows i don't like putting this one together because it hurts my feelings yep um there are some rough ones um i don't read them that's probably why your feelings are hurt yeah yeah and the problem is that that's the whole concept of this segment you read it the comments through the mean ones that only keep the interesting ones. This first one is a comment to get us off on a positive foot. Jim, Forrest, Kelly, Jack, Lewis. They spell
Starting point is 00:39:31 his name wrong every time. And anyone behind the mic with a U, L-O-U. That's how you spell it. He's just L-U-I-S. Sure. Okay. I just want to say thank you. The levity you've provided with the podcast. Several members of my immediate family have had some pretty severe health
Starting point is 00:39:49 issues over the last few months and laughing along with all of you has provided a much needed respite from waiting rooms and hospital beds. Even my 77 year old mother, despite her struggles has chuckled more than a few times. So thanks again and take care. The whole family listens to it. I hope you're all feeling better say hi to your mum for me
Starting point is 00:40:07 if you guys could listen to it on different platforms separately that'd be good we appreciate you listening but spread it out IDK for Mad Express if we make this podcast fucking huge we can turn it into a TV show and that's the goal
Starting point is 00:40:23 one of the reasons I kept my mother's phone it's just to get the extra listen yeah yeah yeah yeah but we still appreciate you guys yeah everybody's feeling better many people were disappointed that we didn't bring up the term Archaeopteryx in the dinosaur episode oh yeah yeah that is a big but like a right we fucking blue We fucking blew it. Holy shit. How did we not do that? My mother-in-law said she learned a lot in the dinosaur episode. People love the dinosaur one.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Yeah. Hey, I want to chat. I'm going to be in Australia during the premiere of Jurassic Park. And, you know, I can't get the many movie premieres here in LA. I get invited to some, but not many. I reckon I could get into the one in Brisbane. Yeah. So if there's anyone in Australia, the premiere of-
Starting point is 00:41:09 They shoot a lot of movies there, though. You don't know. Yeah, no, no, no. The Hemsworths might be there. Yeah, but there's not that many celebrities. It's hard to get- Far country, I'll be in town. Good luck.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Yeah, so I've made a few promises to me wife and kids that I will do this. So putting out some feelers. Feelers are listeners. Can any of you hook me up to a movie? There must be some people there that work with dinosaurs and all the movies and you live in Australia. Hook a brother up.
Starting point is 00:41:39 What about Taylor? Ask him. Yeah, I haven't called me manager yet. That would probably be the smartest. Yeah. any of your managers call them um our pizza episode uh made a lot of people leave comments positive and negative a lot of pizza discussion yeah yeah pizza really makes people upset so i pull the public a lot of opinions yeah a lot of opinions when it comes to pizza so this person we can discuss they're
Starting point is 00:42:02 probably upset in gym only talking about different stuffed crusts what are the one with the meat pies in it i forgot the one that they should have pepperoni in it now it's a new one there's a new crust yeah they don't put pepperoni in there i want even a ham and pineapple crust so you have a little Italian roll on your supreme. You have Italian at the back and pepperoni at the front. A mullet of pizzas. Hawaiian, I mean, not Italian. This person said, deep dish is not pizza. It's a casserole.
Starting point is 00:42:35 And Chicago is not the Midwest. You're Northern Lake people. Not a bad thing, but it's not the Midwest. Hey, what do you mean Chicago is not the Midwest? Definitely is the Midwest. Yeah, well, you're not a person and you don't count. Kelly's from Chicago. It's not the Midwest. Hey, what do you mean? Chicago's not the meanwhile. It definitely is the Midwest. Yeah, well, you're not a person, and you don't count. Kelly's from Chicago.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Yeah, it's definitely considered Midwest. No, sorry, you're a Northern Lake person. Yeah, I've never heard anybody refer to themselves as a Northern Lake person. You've never heard of the Northern Lake people? That sounds like something would happen after some radiation happened in some town. We're not looking at you.
Starting point is 00:43:03 I see you more as a swamp person. Thank you. From the Midwest swamp history. That is... Thank you. You thought the comments hurt. So deep dish pizza isn't deep dish. It's a casserole. That's a pretty common thought process
Starting point is 00:43:19 that it's a casserole. It's not a casserole. It's cheese and marinara sauce and pepperoni. If you put that in a bowl and went, I made you a casserole, you go, this person's mentally challenged. Yeah, because according to our episode, the bread, that's how it started. No sauce, no cheese. So as long as the bread is in there, yeah,
Starting point is 00:43:39 then I think the deep dish, I'm looking at it, pictures of that one. We got another deep dish comment right after it. Also, Chicago's the Midwest. You need the right Chicago deep dish. Kelly is probably from the South Suburbs. Oh, yeah. I hate these people.
Starting point is 00:43:51 Are you from South Suburbs? You need to go to the corner of Lexington and 4th. Yes, Kelly is from the South Side of Chicago. She's always running drugs and guns over the Indiana border. Hell yeah. And they continue to say Lou Malnati's and Pequod's aren't gross casseroles. Although we had Lou Malnati's and he didn the Indiana border. Hell yeah. And they continue to say Lou Malnati's and peak quotes aren't gross casseroles. Although we had Lou Malnati's and he didn't enjoy it. I think it's fine.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Like, it's not like, I think it's disgusting. I just don't get the hummaloo about it. I like the tavern pizza from Chicago. Yeah, yeah. The tavern pizza is great. It's like the cracker crust one. Oh, I haven't had that. They call it tavern style, right?
Starting point is 00:44:22 Yeah. It's like super, that's the one you like, the edamame. It's like cracker crust. That's a Chicago one too, from the't had that. They're called tavern style, right? Yeah. It's like super, that's the one you like, the edamame. It's like cracker crust almost. That's a Chicago one too, from the Midwest. Not from the Northern Lake region? The Midwest of America. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:33 It includes places like Chicago and Cleveland. I mean, maybe Chicago is the Middle East. Wisconsin. And New York and Seattle. Maine. The Midwest. Yeah, Maine's there. Yeah, you get an obstacle in the East. Wisconsin. New York and Seattle. Maine. The Midwest. Maine's there. You get an obstacle in the Midwest. Portland. Mexico.
Starting point is 00:44:51 The Midwest. Texas, I think, is in the Midwest. It's in the middle. And the East West, like I was joking about New York. The East Coast is New York and that's it. And then the West Coast is Los Angeles and San Diego and San Bernardino. San Francisco.
Starting point is 00:45:07 No, no. San Francisco is the Midwest. There's so much San Bernardino erasure. I'm so glad you said that because San Bernardino. People don't mention it. They never do. Except for that one shooting that one time. Home of McDonald's.
Starting point is 00:45:18 They had a terrorist attack there. It's a place. It is a place. Look at them now, people. It's on the up and up. I was talking to some New Yorker ones and they're like, oh, I'm from the East Coast too. They go, where are you from?
Starting point is 00:45:29 I go, Atlanta. They go, that's not the East Coast. Like, what are you talking about? Georgia's on the East Coast. You're from the South. Shut up. It's on the East Coast. Go back to the Midwest where you belong.
Starting point is 00:45:38 It's on the East Coast. I thought I'd have backup on that one. Jeez, they're Mr. Coast. I don't think so. Yeah, because I'm from Miami. I don't call it the East Coast. It's the east coast. I don't think so. Yeah, because I'm from Miami. I don't call it the east coast. Yeah. It's the southeast coast.
Starting point is 00:45:47 You don't have the accent. You got to go, hey, I'm from Atlanta. But he also doesn't have a southern accent. You're from the south. But can Oregon people say they're on the west coast? My mama used to make the Chick-fil-A. The Chick-fil-A. Yeah, I say I'm from.
Starting point is 00:46:02 I don't say I'm from the east coast. I'm from Miami. That's even further east than Atlanta. Oh, I've got to give a shout. I Yeah, I say I'm from- Waffle House. I don't say I'm from the East Coast. I'm from Miami. That's even further east than Atlanta. Oh, I've got to give a shout. I was- I say Georgia. I had a- This might be why I'm sick.
Starting point is 00:46:11 I had a stopover on a Sunday in Atlanta, and then Atlanta had, you know, the Chick-fil-A's shut. It's bloody Sunday. I'm in the airport. I have a layover. Next to it is Varsity Hamburgers and Hot Dogs. Go off. Right. Yeah, doarsity Hamburgers and Hot Dogs. Go off. Yeah, do it. And it was lined up.
Starting point is 00:46:27 All the Atlanta people. Ooh, Varsity. It's slop. It's terrible. It is fucking slop. I have said some mean things about other burger joints. It makes rallies look like fucking a Michelin star restaurant. It's fucking slop.
Starting point is 00:46:43 This is an Atlanta favoriteanta favorite yeah it's like it's like a staple and we used to take field trips to it it's going like this place is always oh it's field trips it's dog shit and it's just a burger with a bit of chili the chili doesn't even have any moisture to it's like a paste of crap on a stale bun and it was like it's next to the chick-fil-a and it's like it's like like two Atlanta originals next to each other. They had a big poster. Go fuck yourself. Sit next to Chick-fil-A like you're something. And you had the airport varsity.
Starting point is 00:47:11 That's even going to be worse. Oh, airport varsity. And I said to a bloke in the line, I said, is this any good? He goes, yeah, it's real decent. It's real decent. Yeah, real decent. Oh, yeah. This is so average.
Starting point is 00:47:24 And I'm like, there's a big line. So I was like, all right, I got to check it out. There's a five guys, like two stores down. It's fucking dog shit. I'm looking at it right now. I'm looking at it for review. This is 4.5. Yeah, because don't trust people from Atlanta.
Starting point is 00:47:36 I don't. They're wrong. So bad. By the way, the Midwest, as defined by the federal government, Oh, shit. Comprises the states of Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota, blah, blah, blah. Rhode Island.
Starting point is 00:47:49 It is considered the capital of the Midwest. So go fuck yourself. Yeah. That's that Midwest pilot sort of banter we come to expect from the Midwest people and their homey type of attitude. Northern swamp creatures. What was it? Northern lake people. I'll still use that, though. Midwest people and their homey type of attitude. Northern swamp creatures. What was it? Northern lake people.
Starting point is 00:48:09 I'll still use that though. Someone said, I'm surprised there's no mention of New Haven style pizza. I have no idea what that is. I've never heard of it. We're all surprised that that even exists. I'm surprised that this thing I made up wasn't mentioned. What about Greenville flatbread? It's actually Greensville flatbreads. I gotta tell you, Greenville Flatbread? It's actually Greensville Flatbread. It's Cleveland.
Starting point is 00:48:26 I got to tell you, Greenville is a smashing little town, man. Orlando said it was really nice. It's really nice. It's really green. There's little water streams and little waterfalls. Oh, my God, it's not just a clever name? I'm sorry I mistook you for Cleveland. I apologize.
Starting point is 00:48:38 It's like Green Bay is not super green, but Greenville is kicking ass, man. It's delight. But I text Forrest. I text him late at night, and I was a bit high, and I went, Forrest, I said, this place is man. It's delight. But I text Forrest. I text him late at night and I was a bit high anyway. Forrest, I said, this place is lovely. It's a delight. And then I text back five minutes later.
Starting point is 00:48:51 I have no postmates. Fuck this place. That's right. It was a late night text. New Haven style pizza is a style of thin crust, coal-fired Neapolitan pizza. Comment in New Haven, Connecticut. I mean, I made that in my backyard. I made Neapolitan
Starting point is 00:49:07 crust and I wood-fired it. It's on coal. What about first pizza? Nobody cares about New Haven. There's not even a Wikipedia for it. Oh, yeah, there is. People do want to see your pizzas, though. People are clamoring for them. There's 28 days left.
Starting point is 00:49:22 By the way, it was created by Frank Pepe Pizzeria Napoletana oh wait yes we need to talk about so Scott posted on his Instagram story we had posted the Giuseppe pizza clip where he was telling us that on a lot of menus the name of the guy who created
Starting point is 00:49:38 it was Giuseppe pizza but it's actually what it was Antonio Pizzarelli or something like that so I guess it's actually what it was, Antonio Pizzarelli or something like that. So I guess it's not Giuseppe Pizzarelli. So he took off two points from your score.
Starting point is 00:49:53 Because he didn't fucking know. So on the back of the menus it wasn't Giuseppe Pizzarelli. It's Antonio Pizzarelli or something like that. Antonio Pizzarelli. For the first time that Jim has ever had points retracted post episode. I never meet anyone with the name Arelli anymore. Like when I was a kid, it was Arthur Fonzarelli was the Fonz. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Right? I never meet any Arellis. I know some. I know like Antonelli's. The Antonelli's. They're the ones who have the cheese shop with that credit card. We're the Antonelli's and we have a cheese store and we get 1% back. And that's how we pay for it.
Starting point is 00:50:25 Oh my God. That is. Wait, what? I've never heard of it. And that's how we pay for our employees' healthcare. It's some credit card ad where they focused on some family that had a cheese shop. Yeah. It's a little bit cheesy, but that's how we like it.
Starting point is 00:50:38 We're the Antonelli's. You're a couple of fucking boars. You're bloody boars. Who put you on TV? I can't get back on TV, you boring cunts. Listen to our cheese episode. Oh, that was a fun one. I'm very curious about what
Starting point is 00:50:53 you guys think about this one. Someone said the best pizza is at the Rainbow Barn Grill in Hollywood. Meatball and mushroom. Where? The Rainbow Bar. The next to the Roxy on Sunset Oh no way There's no way there's good food in that
Starting point is 00:51:09 And then it's drizzled with groupie sweat On top of it And it's finished off with a dusting of cigarettes And fentanyl Don't forget what's his name that's asleep around there The porn star Jeremy He's in prison there, Jeremy? The porn star. Jeremy. He's in prison now.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Is he? Yeah, he got me too, but everyone was like, yeah. He got badly me too, but he's in prison. I think the rainbow, it's right next, is that the rainbow? Yeah. Wasn't he always asleep in front of there? I've been there twice and he's been asleep on a stool. If you ever wanted to see him in the last 10 years, it was there.
Starting point is 00:51:46 You just go to the Rainbow and Ron Jeremy's asleep on a stool in the front. Justin Martindale and I went there for a show once and Ron Jeremy was there. Justin took a picture of me walking out of the place and Ron is just clearly looking at my ass. That bar is
Starting point is 00:52:02 me and Jack went there just recently. Rainbow. It's just filled with old old rockers. That bar is, me and Jack went there just recently. Remember? Yeah, and it's just filled with old, old rockers. The days of like guns and- Just some lounge lizard type of place. Yeah, guns and roses going down there and them being like young pussy groupie down there. Those days are over.
Starting point is 00:52:19 People always ask me when they come to LA, they go, where can I meet girls in LA? Where can I meet them? Like Australian tourists and stuff like that. I don't know. In a comedy club and you get yourself a routine. Be talented. Step one.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Yeah. I never walked into a bar with attractive people who didn't know who I was and pick up. Like, how would one do such a thing? If I knew I would be there. Pizza has good reviews online. I will say that. But I've never even thought about getting food at that place.
Starting point is 00:52:49 I've eaten there. The food's decent. I brought my mom there because she's a big rocker. Rainbow bar. All right. Yeah. Okay. We got a Sydney pizza recommendation since you're about to go.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Yeah. There's a restaurant called Via Napoli in Sydney. It does traditional Naples pizza, which has to abide to certain rules. Apparently the wood fired oven broke. The owner got an artisan slash technicians in from Naples to fix it. Ooh. And then they say they have meter long pizzas.
Starting point is 00:53:22 There's lots of good pizza in Australia, but my favorite pizza in Australia, and this is what they they were saying from the podcast is something that you grew up with the one that i ate in college was uh there's one called marco's organic it's called organic pizza now and it's in perth and it's uh it's one thing when i visit perth i'll take a drive out there and i'll get it and i'll take it back to my hotel that That's my favorite pizza. You know the place I forgot to mention in LA because he asked LA was Burritino. You ever heard of that place? Palos Verdes? Yeah, they've got one there and one in Toronto
Starting point is 00:53:52 and it's like, it's epic. They have one called the, it's the 120 pepperoni. They put 120 pepperonis on this giant pizza and stuff, but they make, that's a place out in Palos Verdes. It's supposed to be really amazing. I'd go there. Yeah. Check it out. It says Carson on here, but that's a place out in Palos Verdes. It's supposed to be really amazing. That's far. I'd go there. Check it out. It says Carson on here, but that's
Starting point is 00:54:07 basically the same place. Every week I put different records behind there just to decorate it. Someone said, love to see Born in the USA behind Forrest and Kelly. Maybe you should do a podcast about the boss. I turn to you, Forrest. He's so good.
Starting point is 00:54:23 I hate Bruce Springsteen. I've said this over and over. He is the Jimmy Buffett of New Jersey. Which is great. I don't like Jimmy Buffett either, but I'm from Florida. That's because you haven't worked down a minor. You've seen a thing where the fat Jimmys. Tight jeans.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Everything dies. I don't mind him, but I did hate the Streets of Philadelphia because I don't know the lyrics, but I could mumble you this whole song. I was walking along, I saw a chair and a Mexican. He was holding his phone. He was meant to be doing the sounds on the streets of Philadelphia. We were, when I got to do a couple episodes of Legit, that was the one where we were at the house and having the party.
Starting point is 00:55:04 He came back from the hospital, that episode. And we were walking to lunch because we had to go around the corner and we're craft servers and and i got into a discussion somebody i forget who it was one of the comics like bruce springsteen and i was like he sucks i can write a bruce springsteen right now and then i saw a car with like windshield wipers on the headlights and i'm like yeah so just imagine headlights of your eyes and the rain is your tears and then I came up with a song called Water on the Headlights that's so good
Starting point is 00:55:32 it's just water on the headlights coming down to the scene in the gym that's it it's a little song you actually have the perfect voice to be an old singer like Tom Waits? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Or Bruce Springsteen now. That should be your next career move. I can be an old, smoky blue. Water on the headlight. Water on the headlight. It's going down the highway. Hickey beans, shove it up your ass. Yeah. That's good. That it up your ass. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:05 That's good. That's actually pretty good. Yeah, I would listen to that probably. Jack will write some music for you. Yeah, I'll write it. You just got to sing it, man. I have a 12-string guitar now. I traded my electric guitar for money and a 12-string Martin.
Starting point is 00:56:20 Wow. But also you can plug it in. How many strings are there normally? Six normally. What are you going to do with all those strings? It's like doubled up So each string is like the same It sounds more harmonic
Starting point is 00:56:32 It's really pretty I have a two-holed flute Ooh, that's a classic one That's your penis Yeah Bruce Springsteen, we'll get right on that that's your penis yeah Bruce Springsteen we'll get right on that some people were asking about the blanket
Starting point is 00:56:51 that you guys sit on with the cop cars on fire whoa whoa cars on fire I've never noticed that they were cop cars on fire my room is Luis's car on fire oh wait Luis does have a new story about his car tell us your car story My roommate. My roommate is Luis's car. How is Tinderbox coming? Oh, wait. Luis does have a new story about his car.
Starting point is 00:57:07 Tell us your car story. I mean, so it's an 85, so it's got a tape player, a cassette player. And I saw a video where someone driving an Aldi who put in a cassette. I was like, you know what? I kind of want to be the cassette guy. That's kind of a cool thing. Yep. So I asked my family.
Starting point is 00:57:20 I'm like, hey, who has a cassette? Because I've never even tried mine. I don't know if it works. Did I give you a Morrissey cassette? No, I asked for one that they don't care about just in case it like bill cosby ruins it i think we actually do have one but uh yeah so i go in i put in it's like some banda from colombia so i put it on and there it goes like i'm like all right great it works eject oh no eject eject eject it wouldn't eject. I try to go to the radio. It doesn't work. So I had just had that stuck in my car. Like that's the song.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Hey Kelly, how did you do that without a cassette? I just thought it'd be cool. But now that's the actual song that was playing over and over again. Yeah. Jack saying my car experience is the just real I've heard of vacation. Can't you just turn the volume down? I mean I can but like I don't know.
Starting point is 00:58:13 I think that was his karma for locking me in our office playing. Who let the dogs out on repeat for hours. Let's see if you get it fixed I have John Mayer's new album on cassette. We could try it out. Why? Because he sold it. It seemed kitschy, so I got it. Wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:58:27 What do you mean? He went to the concert. Don't act like you don't like him. Support your guy. Well, Kelly asked why I have the cassette version. I was like, oh, it's kitschy. It seems fun. I do find that like, so it's good coming from like South America or Middle America and Mexico
Starting point is 00:58:40 and all that stuff because the music's got a bit of kick to it. But like, I remember going up in Australia and there was a lot of Greek kids and they were just, like, listening to Greek music that their parents would listen to. I couldn't find anything redeeming. Yeah, it's like. Yeah, yeah. Goodbye.
Starting point is 00:58:57 It was really someone who sings. The guy always looks super sleazy. Yeah. They always start off slow and they're like. And then they're like and then they're like That's how it goes. It's not a fun music. Let's talk about music genres from around the world that we don't want to listen to.
Starting point is 00:59:19 Is that all for comment? No, I got more. Anyway, this blanket was made by Tara Booth and proceeds went to the Innocence Project. It was to raise money. The music of Sarah Leone. Oh, God. I don't even know what that would be. They got a good rap scene.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Holy shit. Is this a friend of yours made this blanket? My roommate bought it from just someone who was selling it. Oh, got it. And it went to something good? It went to something good. It was the Innocence Project. Innocence Project.
Starting point is 00:59:44 It was. How do we know that's good? It's like cars good. It was... Innocence Project. Innocence Project. It was... How do we know that's good? It's like cars for kids. We don't know what that is. It was when... It was in the George Floyd time and we... It was going towards charities to help.
Starting point is 00:59:53 Are you sure? Whatever the innocence is. People who are wrongfully convicted of crimes. Gotta give it up to that Kim Kardashian. Yeah. She's getting people out of prison for all the people
Starting point is 01:00:01 who put shit on her and all that type of stuff. And I'm a big shit on the Kardashian sort of guy. I think they're a pointless family and I don't know why the fuck we're watching him, but we are. And kudos to her for doing some good work. Yeah. It is interesting how people are like, they call it, they immediately go to calling her a whore for the sex tape thing. But it's like, that wasn't, it wasn't really like plenty of people who are in relationships make sex tapes like that's not a fucking crime and it's not a bad thing to do and then they're calling her an idiot and all this stuff it's like she's fucking doing law school
Starting point is 01:00:35 and shit like this and getting innocent people out of prison she got one woman out like days before or some shit yeah there was she's dating Pete Davidson. She's brilliant. Yeah. I don't have a sex tape. I do. Just no one wants to watch it. I have some out there. Again, trying to get back on TV. You said that joke.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Yeah, it's true. I've got girls who haven't. No one's wanted to watch it. I had a storage room in London that had a little box of them. The whole nothing happened. Wow. A box. You need a BBL. How many sex tapes do you have? There's only a small box. Okay whole nothing happened. Wow. A box? You need a BBL? How many sex tapes do you have? There's only a small box.
Starting point is 01:01:08 Okay. Two box. Someone said Daniel Tosh, Jim and Kevin Hart, if you were taller, are the best looking comedians. Who are the other ones? Daniel Tosh and Kevin Hart if he was taller. Oh, I thought they were saying if I was taller. I'll take it. Yeah. Bad looking guys.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Daniel Tosh is a good looking guy. Kevin Hart, if he's taller, he's kind of rude. He's still fine. He's a good looking guy. But, you know, what's up? There are also a lot of other attractive comedians. No, just those three. According to the comics.
Starting point is 01:01:38 That's the lady of this person. This is what she wants. Yeah. She wants to have a foursome with the three of us. Wait, you're a woman? Who do you think are your attractive male comics? We can't say females. Let's do an easy game. Which comics are better looking than me? That way I can argue
Starting point is 01:01:54 with you. Jim Gaffigan. Yeah, no, he's very good looking. Steve Buscemi. Not a comic. Bert Kreisler. Yeah, he's good looking. I just want them to put us on YMH again
Starting point is 01:02:08 for mispronouncing his name Lachlan Patterson Lachlan Patterson's better looking than me he's better looking than me Kirk Fox is good looking Kirk Fox has a rugged look
Starting point is 01:02:15 yeah and he's tall I mean tall helps for me you like a Kirk Fox huh well he if you're tall you're automatically more attractive
Starting point is 01:02:23 I can I mean sure any of you could. I mean, I know him. I know him. Jim can introduce you. I don't want to meet him just because I think he's one of the more attractive comedians. Go home. We're calling it off.
Starting point is 01:02:41 Yeah, he's funny. He's a good guy. He's in that show Reservoir Jeff Dye is an attractive comedian he's like the he's like the quintessential um down home looking guy
Starting point is 01:02:55 down home? yeah um he's not attractive that's a hot that's an easy carrot top has muscles he's hot as fuck yeah Not attractive. Oh, that's a hard... That's an easy one. Wait, Carrot Top has muscles. He's hot as fuck.
Starting point is 01:03:08 Yeah. Yeah, there's so many hot comedians. Yeah, yeah. Okay, we'll move on from that. Here's an urgent... Which comedian do you think would be the best fuck? Nothing to do with looks. Guy or girl? No, we can't do that.
Starting point is 01:03:19 We'll get in trouble. Only Kelly can play with a guy. Andrew Dice Clay. If we start throwing out... Oh, yeah. We can't do that. Only girls can play this game. I don't know. I feel like most of them are probably very selfish in bed.
Starting point is 01:03:32 What? Yeah, that's the best. Yeah, is that? That shows the man has confidence. I don't really have any desire to sleep with any comedians. Again. Sorry. I'm thinking about Kurt Fox. Kurt Fox would be very loving. Would he? He would, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:48 Alright, well then, if you'll vouch for that, then I will sit you down. Is he married? Well, I'm not saying he's a good person. He would just hold me tight afterwards. Maybe he's not. I'm not sitting anyone up to have sex with anyone. Those days are behind you. He was married to Clint Eastwood's daughter.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Allison Eastwood, I was going to say. I didn't know. It would be a significant downgrade if he slept with me. I don't know. Well, he's very funny. You should check him out. Kirk Fox, if you don't know him. Isaac says, I need Jim to address the fact that chicken crimpy are voted the best are not shapes flavor.
Starting point is 01:04:26 They're dog shit only worthy of scab grabs in the schoolyard. I understood about two words of that. We got shapes. I'm a pizza shapes guy. But now they've come out. They've ranked the shapes and they've ranked the chicken crimpies, which is an oval with the crimp sides. They're just a baked little biscuit that you have instead of crisps. And the chicken one isn't the best one. The pizza is, but there's been a vote in Australia and the chicken have won.
Starting point is 01:04:51 I wish I could say more about this, but there we are. Our last comment. This is back on the Jay Leno episode. But it was a three day ago comment. The reason the UK drive on the left is due to Knights having their shields on the left hand side to defend from attacks. I don't know if that's true. Knights were driving cars? I don't know about that.
Starting point is 01:05:14 Never seen Knight Rider? Oh. Moded. There was a knight in that? The car was the knight. And his name was Michael Knight. Literally the concept of the whole show. Yeah, I And his name was Michael Knight. Literally the concept of the whole show. Yeah, I thought his name was Michael Knight.
Starting point is 01:05:29 What's that face? I'm just shocked that we're friends. Jim, I can't do a... Can you do a kit impression? Remember they used to put samples in the ashtray? There is going to be... Does that sound like Justin Bieber? Put that in the ashtray Michael, there is going to be Does that sound like Justin Bieber? Put that in the ashtray and I'll analyze it
Starting point is 01:05:47 Baby Wow Is that it? I need to cough up a big lot of phlegm Let's wrap this up so you can cough up a big lot of phlegm We're sorry you didn't learn anything today You did learn things This was a fun episode, I liked this
Starting point is 01:06:03 They learned our opinions on things If you like this, this is what the Patreons like, so you can just come and... Scooch out in there! Yeah. Scooch out in there! Scooch out in there! It is so funny because every time we do a Patreon,
Starting point is 01:06:17 especially in the times where we're disorganized and we're just talking about random shit, I'm like, people are going to hate this. And those are always the episodes where people are like, I fucking love this. You guys are unhinged. Just eat my house. We'll see what comment world looks like in a week. No, you'll probably never read comments again.
Starting point is 01:06:32 I don't think we can continue to force Jack to do comment world. It's fine. It's humbling. Oh, because you have to sift through yours? It's not really good for your mental health. It's really not. No. That was a really bad one.
Starting point is 01:06:44 Was the COVID one in the comments? Which one? I guess, remember the one time a long time ago, and you thought I was going to be devil's advocate, and I go, people that don't get vaccinated can just die. Some lady wrote to me and she goes, my daughter got COVID and she lived, but I'm sure you wanted her to die,
Starting point is 01:06:59 because that's what you said. I was like, we're going back. If you didn't get vaccinated, die. You know how to Australia.

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