I Don't Know About That - Cheese with Liz Thorpe

Episode Date: May 26, 2020

In this episode, the team covers Cheese with the help of Liz Thorpe. Thanks to our sponsors Blue Chew (offer code Jim), Shipstation (offer code Jim), and Raycon (buyraycon.com/idontknow).   Follow Us:   Jim Jefferies Website: www.jimjefferies.com Jim Jefferies Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies/?hl=en Jim Jefferies Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies/ Jim Jefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies Forrest Shaw Website: www.forrestshaw.net Forrest Shaw Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrestshaw/ Forrest Shaw Twitter: https://twitter.com/forrestshaw Kelly Blackheart Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellyblackheart/   Jack Hackett Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Jack_hackett/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I doubt it. Maybe you'll learn about it on I Don't Know About That with Jim Jefferies. Welcome to I Don't Know About That with Jim Jefferies. I'm Jim Jefferies. The gloves are off. The gloves are off, people! No masks for us anymore. What happened was we were doing the podcast in masks and just people were unhappy that they couldn't see my face. I didn't know how much people loved my face.

They love your face. They were devastated. This is shit! If I can't see his mouth, I don't want it. I didn't know that my mouth was doing all the heavy lifting on my career people have been reading your lips this entire time so what i've done is so that you can all get angry at home i'm wearing wacky pointless sunglasses that don't block out anything and i'm wearing a david spade hat you're like dude why david doesn't even follow you on instagram i don't know why david doesn't follow me i always thought we get along every time I see him. Every time I see him, he remembers my name

and everything. And I think we get along alright. But David, if you're out there, give me a follow. Give me a follow, David. Give me a follow. I follow you. I've even commented on some of your posts. I think you liked one of me comments. I'm here with Forrest Shaw Say hello Forrest

Hi Yeah we mentioned In the first podcast That you and I Have been like You know Basically quarantining Together anyway

So we were kind of Doing the Yeah we were already Hanging out Jack's here Jack's my assistant I didn't Jack's been coming over

And doing things I still pay Jack On a regular basis And what work Did you do this week Jack for all your money? I paid some bills. He paid some bills and went to the post box.

That's his week's work. It's the best job in the world. And I could have gone to the post box myself, but I just need him to do something. And then my girlfriend's like this, do you think Jack can mail some of my letters? And I'm like, it's not in his job description, i'll fucking make him do it oh wait i got a good idea why don't we have uh people that listen to the podcast like give us suggestions for work that

jack can do yeah because you got you got to fill the time jack you got to fill the time jack gets the occasional email and writes me, check your emails, Jim. Because I don't open emails. People email me, I just don't open them. I don't open my post either before, Jack. I didn't know there were so many bills to be paid. I have an outstanding lease on a car I haven't owned in years. Kelly

Zabinski, here she is. How are you? How's your quarantine been? Not too bad. I'm very chill about this. I like staying at home by myself. Oh, yeah. I'm a big fan as well. The conspiracy theorists now that are just like,

it's because the government wants everything. And now the conspiracy theorists have gone the other way. They've gone, it's because of the Democrats want to rig the election in November and they don't want you to go to the polls or something like that. This is the weird thing. Okay, I consider myself a moderate, but to all the Republicans, all the Trump lovers, right? You're in charge.

Stop bitching like the Democrats are fucking everything up. You're in charge. You get to fuck things up. You're in charge. Also, yeah, they're not even doing, they're voting against like mail mail-in ballots or whatever it's like that would only affect democrats really because republicans are out there fucking in the streets protesting about like opening shit up so it's

gonna be the democrats that don't show up to the comedy clubs have reopened i see brad williams did a weekend somewhere he's fucking he's out there he's out there doing comedy he's not afraid of anything any other comics on the road uh i thought i saw one in texas but i remember i think there's a couple clubs opening but i'm not sure like i thought i saw like maybe dusty sleigh was that in texas or something yeah i hear that uh coconuts in uh in open and the Chuckle Hut in Tempe. There is a Coconuts in Florida. There you go. Yeah, yeah.

And they sold me 50 bucks from like 10 years ago. And that's the truth for it. Fucking Coconuts. Pay up. That's the thing is there's always like, I have a dislike for bananas. But I only recently, since my son's been born, I never physically touched a banana. I was afraid of bananas. And I went to therapy and stuff like that so I could be near bananas.

And because my son eats fuck all. My son eats fuck all. And bananas are good for you. Right. And he eats bananas. And so when I was home with him, he was like, can I have a banana? And he can't open it up. He's a child. Right. And I was like, fuck fuck he's got to eat some good food so i had to muscle

down and now i can physically touch bananas but before that there was a comedy club i think in new jersey called bananas there's two of them there's one in new jersey and there's one in cincinnati one's called go bananas no one's i think bananas in new jersey and fucking the whole backdrop is just bananas. Right? And so I went there to perform and I just, I couldn't, I was standing right at the edge of the stage. Trembling.

I was just not comfortable and people would heckle and I overreacted. Go fuck yourself! There's nothing better than one of those heckles where you just lose your shit. So speaking of comedy, you got any dates coming up? I don't have any dates coming up. Mask it every week. I've got a comedy special coming out

in either June or July. So Boris, how about you explain the show today? How about we change things up? Okay. Well, this is what we do on the show. Each week we get in a guest that has expertise in a certain field and Jim does not know

what the guest's field of expertise is. And once we reveal what it is, we have Jim tell us everything he thinks he knows about that subject. And then we grade him to see, you know, on accuracy, believability, confidence. And the idea is that, you know, this is quoting,, like pre-internet, people could go out to bars and bullshit their way through things and pretend like they knew stuff if you had enough confidence, and as a comic, you have a lot of confidence and believability, and so that's something you probably did in your life,

but now that the internet is here, the jig's up. Yeah, a giraffe. I learned a new thing about a giraffe that I could really fucking add to it. I was watching... But I don't think people know the giraffe story. What happens is I used to tell... When I was an unsuccessful comedian,

no one knew who I was. When I was living in England, because of the accent, I used to tell girls, I don't know if I can get Me Too for this because I lied to women. I think you're allowed to lie to them, right? You're encouraged to lie to them.

You're allowed to lie to them, right? So I used to tell girls that I was brought out to London to work to work at the london zoo because i specialized in giraffes and i was one of the foremost experts in giraffes and women love animals but they know fuck all about giraffes and so i dropped a few truth bombs that the tongue was so powerful it can rip the flesh off the human body and they have the same amount of bones in their neck as we do have in the human spine i didn't i didn't go as far as to find out what that number was anyway it's a bunch and then the joke

was the joke was because their tongue was so powerful that's why you never see any lesbian giraffes plus the 69 is hard because they're long necks and they'd laugh and laugh and then and then and then they'd ask to come to the zoo and then I'd have to ghost them. That would be the second date. Yeah, we'll go to the zoo second date. But I found out something new about the drafts because Hannibal Buress was on

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? And he was smart because he brought this bloke on. I'd just been watching. He was one of the Jeopardy champions as his safety guy. A guy called Buzzy. Buzzy is like this sort of Jewish guy with glasses that looks like if you drew a caricature of him,

if you drew a real picture of him, it would look like a caricature that you drew at the side of a beach. You Google Buzzy from Jeopardy and tell me I'm wrong. Yeah, I'll Google him but you know i'm right all right anyway so the so what happened was what animal when it's born has a six foot drop oh yeah it's a it's a giraffe the giraffe falls six feet bang welcome to the world what do you mean he'd be at a beach is like in a beach no i mean like you know when you welcome to the world bang give them what they want give them what they want what do you mean he'd be at a beach

like in a beach no I mean like you know when you see a character to a person oh yeah yeah yeah if you draw a normal portrait of him

you'd go oh that's a weird character yeah yeah yeah but this looks like the actual of what the character yeah you're right

so it would just look normal and you go Buzzy's a unique looking fella alright well let's introduce our guest for today

Liz Thorpe say hello Liz say hello Jim hey how are you You just look normal and you go, Bazzi's a unique looking fella. All right, well, let's introduce our guest for today. Liz Thorpe. Say hello, Liz. Say hello, Jim. Hey, how are you? Liz Thorpe. All right. So this is what we do, Liz.

Good English name for you. Ah, she's down. Oh, she's drinking. She's drinking beer in the middle of the day? That's how I know it's Friday. Ah, right. Different from all the other days of the week. They all blend together. Yeah, becauseursday is heroin

no no that kills your productivity midweek no way mushroom monday i've been having mushroom mondays no it's a psychotropic saturday come on you gotta align i do i do mushroom mondays and then i do weed on Tuesdays because of Taco Tuesday. And THC Tuesday. So it all works. And then Wednesday, I do wank Wednesday, where I just masturbate all day, even if I'm at work. I feel like that's every day for you. I tell you what, in Australia, if you're in quarantine, you've got to go in for two weeks into a hotel that they just give you, and they put food at your door like you're in prison.

The wanks you would have would be outrageous. For two weeks, you're not allowed with anybody else. And then they don't clean your room. They just give you a towel each day. Ah, yeah, that's living. All right, so let's guess what Liz does. Let's get to that. So, Liz, this is a part of the show called Judging a Book by Its Cover.

This is a game Jim likes to do in general, judging people by just the way they look. And so he's going to try and guess what you do, and he's going to ask you yes or no questions. You can answer yes or no to these. So go ahead, Jim. All right. Do you work at a university? No. Okay.

Have you written books? Yes. All right. Book reader. Book reader. I don't know if she's read them. have you written books yes book reader I don't know if she's read I didn't say I read them I said I wrote you wrote books are your books primarily purchased by women

probably more than 50% are purchased by women. Okay. But I wouldn't say it's like chick lit. They're not porn. Um, okay. So, uh, so, okay. So you, you ask actually, but have you, have you done a Ted talk?

No. Oh, again, this is like a similar subject You really like this subject Yeah, right So some people say it's porn I'm going to say Because you said some people say I'm going to say that you're an expert in sexual health

No Is that your guess? That would be awesome I love how every time we tell him that he loves the category, it's always Paul. If it's something I love, you invented pinball machines. You birthed my cat.

One second, yeah. Okay, you are wrong, Jim, as usual. I don't think you're ever going to get that right, but it's fun to play. Liz Thorpe is an expert in cheese. In cheese! I love cheese. I know. I love cheese. Cheese porn isn't like real porn. Look, why do you think they put the holes in the Swiss cheese? Biggest cheese there is.

So Liz is, she's like a leading expert in cheese in the country. she's authored a book she mentioned the book of cheese and the cheese chronicles I love cheese and also she has a YouTube channel

the people's cheese and on IG you can find her at Liz Thorpe that's with an E Thorpe cheese I'll tell you how we'll repeat that again

at the end too for you Liz do it again sorry no no no it's fine but yeah the YouTube channel

is the people's cheese and on Instagram it's at Liz Thorpe cheese L The People's Cheese and on Instagram it's at Liz Thorpe Cheese. L-I-Z-T-H-O-R-P-E-C-H-E-E-S-E. I'll tell you how much, Liz, I love cheese. I'm lactose intolerant

and I still eat it. I just muscle through. I eat cheese with the full knowledge that I'll shit myself an hour and a half later. No problem. We're going to talk about you being lactose intolerant, Jim, but we'll get to that. I was going to say, you're going to blow your mind today.

You're going to say that the cheese doesn't affect me. Well, hold on. No, I'm going to say it doesn't have lactose. Then why does the cheese make me shit? No, no, no. I have a theory, even though I don't know you that well. I have a theory. Jim's not allowed to get any answers yet.

Forrest, I'm sure, will like... Because what happens is, what happens is, I drink like 10 lagers, right? And then I have a curry, and then I eat some ice cream afterwards, and I shit myself. It's got to be the ice cream. It's got ice cream.

It's the ice cream. Okay, so here's what we're going to do, Liz. Jim's going to tell us, I'm going to kind of're going to do, Liz. Jim's going to tell us. I'm going to kind of prod him with some questions, and he's going to tell us everything he thinks he knows about cheese. And then you're going to grade him on a scale of 1 to 10 for accuracy. And, you know, be harsh. You don't have to be, you know, don't, you know.

Yeah, you can't just tell me, talk about cheese. Give me some. I'm going to give you some questions. Don't worry. And then I'm going to grade him on believability. Kelly's going to grade him on confidence. And then we're going to put the scores believability. Kelly's going to grade him on confidence. And then we're going to put the scores together, the worst score being zero, the best being 30.

And so if you score 26, between 26 and 30, you'll be the big cheese. Between 20 and 25, a cheese head. Between 13 and 19, a cheese ball. Between 7 and 12, cheesy. And between zero and six, you're dick cheese. So that's not a good one. You don't want to be that one.

Schmegma. All right, so let's start off. What is cheese off. What is cheese like? What is cheese made of? Cheese is made of from cream that has been like from the milk of an animal

from the milk of an animal that's been churned and churned and churned and then it's put in barrels and it's aged and aged and aged and aged until it becomes cheese. All right. I feel like you're missing some things in there.

When do you think the first cheese was made? Oh, the first cheese was made. It would have been during the Black Plague when people didn't wash their genitals. But the first official cheese. I think cheese would be thousands and thousands and thousands of years. I'm going to say that cheese is 10,000 BC. Okay.

Any idea like where it was? The first cheese would have been in Israel where the birth of the land of the people. And it would have been from not cow cheese it would have been the cheese of like alpaca I don't know are they in Israel

alpaca cheese your number one first cheese say that in a bar no one will prove you wrong and then okay so this is something that will go over Liz because I looked up stuff and Liz knows more than I do. But there's different types of the cheese. So how many different animals can you name besides a cow

that cheese comes from? Okay, do I need to name the cheese as well? No, no, just name the animals right now. Goat produced goat cheese. Nailed it. Feta, I believe, is the cheese

from a sheep. We're not going to say you're right or wrong. I don't know why you're doing this thing. Havarti, the one that you can grill. You don't have to say where it's from, but that's fine. That is also the cheese of a sheep's with cheese but that's fine that is also the cheese of a sheep

just tell me the different animals just tell me the animals so we have sheep cheese, we have goat's cheese we have cow's cheese what other cheese you can make cheese from breast milk but it's not a popular cheese

anything any animal that can be milked What other cheese? You can make cheese from breast milk, but it's not a popular cheese. Any animal that can be milked. So you'd have goat. You said goat like five times now. You'd also have alpaca cheese. You would have llama cheese. That cheese is called llama-dama-ding-dong. I love that joke.

You would have any animal that could be milk. Okay, so that's it. We got alpaca, goat, sheep, and cow and you said human, right? You can have human cheese, yeah. You've had it? I've never had it, but I know of it. I know people have made it.

What is the... Borat's wife made it. I don't think you, but I know of it. I know people have made it. What is the... Borat's wife made it. I don't think you're going to know this, but do you know... That's a documentary. Do you know the name of the most expensive cheese in the world? What animal does it come from and about how much does it cost? Oh, that would be... It would be from the cheese of a cow.

And it would be... Any idea where it's from or what it's called or how much it costs? Any of that. You don't know any of it. It would be from Switzerland. And its value is the same as gold. Gold? Yeah, because gold is done by weight.

It's denser. And so truffles are the same price as gold. And also weed moves the same as gold, the price of weed. And it's by weight. It's not quite as much as gold. And so the cheese is the same price as gold. Okay, we'll find out if you're right. I don't know if you're correct.

I do know if you're correct. Here, how about this? The top five countries per capita that consume cheese. Oh, that consume cheese. Oh, that consume cheese. Okay, so Copenhagen, the Danes, eat a shit ton of cheese. They love their dairy in Denmark. Copenhagen, all I was getting was dairy.

I shit myself the whole trip, and then I had to ride a bike. You probably kept it in, though. So the Danes, I would put the Danes, and then I had to ride a bike. You probably kept it in, though. So the Danes, I would put the Danes number one cheese nation per capita. And then I would say America would be very high up there. They're in the top five, America? Yeah, America would be in the top five. I would say the Swiss would be up there.

I would put Australia as a great cheese nation. Great cheese. Fantastic cheeses out of Australia. You're like Trump right now. You really do. Fantastic. My favorite cheese growing up was actually called coon cheese, which sounds a lot worse than, it's not a good name, lovely cheese.

Okay. So that was generic. And beager. Get some beager if you're in Australia. We got Denmark. Lovely, tasty cheese. Tasty is the type of cheese. Okay. So that was generic. And bigger. Get some bigger if you're in Australia. We got Denmark. Lovely, tasty cheese. Tasty is the type of cheese. Denmark, America, Switzerland, Australia.

And who's the fifth? Throw in Poland. Poland. All right. All right. And then who uses, what countries do you think use the least amount of cheese? Asian cultures don't eat as much cheese. Okay. Why is that?

That may be because a lot of them are lactose intolerant. The problem with this show is I could come off as racist because I'm just throwing things out there. Well, we're going to correct you if you're wrong. Asians are very lactose intolerant. The Asians can't do desserts to save their fucking life. And I'm a big fan of the Japanese cooking. I'm a big fan of the Chinese and the Thai.

But a mochi doesn't fucking cut it, Asia. You've got to do better with the desserts. You don't know what the fuck you're doing when it comes to desserts. But you love the food. I love the food. The rest of the food, number one with the food. The Asians are number one. They beat all the other.

All right. Take our pollen, throw in Italy. The Asians are number one. They beat all the other. All right. Take out Poland, throw in Italy. Italy? Throw in Italy. I forgot about pizza and pasta and all that type of stuff. Okay. Take out Poland, throw in Italy. Okay.

All right. One more question. Hang on, hang on. I'm not done. I'm going to say the number one country in Asia that doesn't like the cheese, I'm going to go for the Japanese. But then the Japanese love Western culture. So I think now they're getting more because fast food really got

into their culture about 15 years ago or whatever. And now they're really into the fast food. And I feel like maybe communist China isn't letting the cheeses in. Right? So I'm going to say China, historically Japan, but now China has taken over in the anti-cheese race. Okay. Two more questions and then we'll get...

I fucking know all this shit. Yeah, you're nailing it. You got everything. What is the difference between cheese and yogurt? They're like almost the same, but they're different. What's the old joke? What's the difference between an Australian and yogurt? Yogurt has culture.

So cheese doesn't have any culture that's what the British say no I think there's culture in cheese I don't know maybe there isn't culture in cheese I'm gonna say

I'm gonna say they take the culture out they take the culture out they take the culture out they take the culture out it becomes Cincinnati I've truly never seen you more confident in my life confidence and believability you gotta have a passion

believability i don't know confidence is gonna be a choice for a topic okay and then one more couple one more question we'll get to it um this is like a three-parter what do you call someone that sells cheese. Sandal Joe. Well, my guy is called Chris. You've got a cheese dealer? I have a guy. You text him, you're like, hey, can I get a $100 worth of cheese? I love those big cheeses when you go into those stores. You know what I haven't experienced that I really want to experience? I see it, it's food porn.

When they make the cabanara inside the big block of cheese and they swirl it around and it gets the sauce and that type of stuff. They cook, they put the hot pasta in there. They stir it around. The COVID will fucking ruin that. We won't be able to do that. I was looking, there was a place in Beverly Hills

that fucking does that. And I've been looking at it going, oh, one day I'll have a meal that's made in a block of cheese. Never fucking happened. I'll tell you this. American cheese, the reason that American cheese is American cheese is because it still holds its property and consistency when melted. Most cheeses, when they melt, they slime. And that's why you can put it on cheeseburgers.

And it won't slime into your grill. And it will sit there and cook and still hold its form. That is the point of American cheese. Yeah, okay. The cheeseburger. One more question. An expert in aging cheese is called? Like an expert in...

An expert in aging cheese. Ah, fucking I don't know. Bill Murray does it for a hobby. Okay. All right. Well, that's it. So, Liz, we're going to start going over... Before we grade him, let's take a break.

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Promo code JIM. Try it for free. Blue Chew. It's better. All right, and we are back. So here's what we're going to do. Liz, please grade Jim on his accuracy of his knowledge of cheese from one to ten. I wish I got to grade him on his confidence.

I'll give him a five out of ten on accuracy. Boom, shakalaka. Give him what I want. A kernel of truth to everything. But just a kernel. A kernel. Okay. Okay. Just a curd.. A kernel of truth to everything. But just a kernel. A kernel, okay. Okay. Just a curd.

Just a curd of truth. Good one. Okay, so, and then Kelly, confidence? He's so confident that he just said boom shakalaka to getting a 5 out of 10 on accuracy. Confidence is like a 47. 47. No, he's a full 10 on confidence. And I said my new catchphrase that I'm trying to work into the nation's vocabulary,

which is, give them what they want. That's what I say now when I play golf with Forrest and I get a shot in. I go, give them what they want. Like that, right? You also say it when the ball goes in the water. If I'm drunk, I also. Because I'm a showman. I'm a showman when I in the water. If I'm drunk, I also... Because I'm a showman. I'm a showman when I play the golf.

And I don't want to get it too close to the pin. I put it in the bunker so then the next shot will look even more fantastic. Give them what they want, people. Give them what they want. That's what you told me last night. You said he has the most endorsements of our golfers because...

And I said, he's hitting it in the water in the grass. And he's like, yeah, he's a drinker though. They like that. Yeah, my golfer gets drunk and just hits the ball in the water and everyone doesn't understand why he's on the tour. Everyone's like, how is he still on the tour? He plays worse than anyone. But he gives them what they want.

Okay. He gives them what they want. Believability. Your confidence was very high. Do I believe you? No. You said something that they take the culture out of cheese, which I don't even know what you meant by that.

They don't take it out. It's aged out. Yeah. I didn't believe that when you said that. It's not like they get a spoon for us. You were very confident, but you were very unsure in that confidence. I could hear it in your voice, and you were coming back and forth, taking things back.

So I'm going to give you a three a three yeah that's all yeah but that's still that's still an 18 still an 18 this is the only subject we've done on the show that I'm passionate about it's still an 18 which makes you a cheese ball it's not bad how did I do in Saudi Arabia you did terrible oh I don't remember what the categories are I think you had a seven I think you had like a seven in Saudi Arabia right so I didn't do well with Saudi Arabia you called the I asked you what one of the holy cities was and you said pajama bed that was our previous episode all right Liz so uh thank you for being here can you um just uh talk a little bit I mean we're gonna talk about cheese all the time, but how is cheese made? And like, is it just cream? Hang on, how many animals first of all?

How many animals? I want to get. You want to go to the animals first? Yeah, let's do that. Okay. You said. Or else that's the whole list. Oh, no, do the first one.

Do the questions in order. All right. It doesn't have to be in, or whatever you want to do, but let's just, let's talk about how cheese is made first. Cause you just said, I think you said it's cream. And then they curded it. It's milk. You keep on hitting with a stick

that's it Liz we don't need you yeah you hit it with a stick it's not a stick you have a pumice thing that goes up and down I like the visual

like you're masturbating you're up and down up and down up and down and then you leave it until it churns yeah butter turns into cheese that's butter

that's churning butter yeah butter does not butter's not cheese it goes like churning butter. Yeah, butter does not. Butter's not cheese. It goes like this. It goes milk, cream, butter, cheese. The major food groups. No, no, no, that's just all the same product just over time. Let's listen to his answer.

Is it milk, cream, butter? Just the evolution to greatness. Yeah. Is that it is? Milk, cream, butter, cheese? So it's milk, not cream that you start with. Well, that's what I made. You do need the culture is like a key cheese so it's it's milk not cream that you start with and um you do need the culture is like a key part of it so you've got to add bacteria of a very specific kind and then you

also have to add something called rennet which is what's going to take a liquid and convert it into a solid so rennet is an enzyme and you need. Those are the four things you must have. Where do you get culture? What is culture? Do I pick that up at the shop? You do. There are stores that sell just nothing but different cultures that you make cheese with. Canada is a place to get a lot of cultures.

And where does culture grow? Is that a plant? Well, they're bacteria that are cultivated and then freeze-dried so you add them in like powder is corona a culture you want to make a corona cheese i hope not you can make some cheese out of it it'd be like a spiky ball of cheese are you thinking are you thinking of making cheese jim no i'm not thinking i i look there's so many things in this world like i bought a pasta maker and then i just found out that you could just buy pasta.

I used it a couple of times. I'm like, oh, you can just buy it and then go order a fresh pasta. You can buy a fucking fresh pasta. And it's like with cheese, I'm like, eh. Why make it? Why make it? There's so many people who are doing good jobs. Do you ever make cheese, Liz?

No, everyone always asks me and I'm like, why in the world would I make cheese? I don't want to make cheese in my kitchen. I'll go buy it. There's 300, 500 choices. But yeah, no, I don't make cheese. So they get the milk. They pour a cup of culture in.

Is the culture like a powder? They pour that in? Yeah, it's not a cup. But yeah, you sprinkle in the bacteria, and you start to basically convert the sugar, the lactose in milk milk into lactic acid so it goes from being liquid to being like jello and then you add in rennet or an enzyme to coagulate it make all the proteins stick together and then you have like curd that's like the texture of a yoga mat and then you can cut it stir it cook it churn it hit it press it you can cut it, stir it, cook it, churn it, hit it, press it.

You can manipulate it. So you don't have to churn it. No, churning is really what you do for butter. But I'm trying to, you know. Do you hit it with a stick? I'm trying to give you a nod. Yeah, what's a stick cheese? So you mentioned rennet and the enzyme.

And that leads us to the other thing about how when the first cheeses were made. That one you were pretty close on. Yeah why'd you give me a three no no she gave you a five but he gave me a three yeah he's been a bit harsh i got hit it with a stick i got i got i got 10,000 bc you didn't get it with a stick and it was it was it was telling me all she just said then that there was no sticks involved you wouldn't call a spoon a stick a wooden spoon a stick well unbelievable so um it it gets it what i read is that it was probably around 8 000 bc all right that's pretty close when sheep were first domesticated i don't know maybe you can talk about how it was first discovered like it was like kind of a discovery cheese right not like an yeah so rennet is um traditionally what's used to coagulate milk to make cheese and it's an enzyme that comes from

the stomach lining of an unweaned ruminant so a baby, sheep, water buffalo. That enzyme is what makes the protein stick together. But back in the day when stomachs were used as canteens, it's very likely at some point milk was put into a dried stomach canteen. And, you know, a couple of hours later it had solidified because that rennet enzyme was was in the stomach lining so that's a kind of that's that's probably one of the ways that cheese was kind of discovered as a food that people could make this fascinates me all foods fascinate me in the sense that okay cheese we all love it it's all good um it was made from a fucking what you think it was a sheep stomach was the first one probably sheep or goats

because yeah you're talking about like migrant tribes of of migratory nomadic people so they didn't have cows back then they were domesticating smaller animals i understand that foods are invented but who's the first prick to try it who is the first person to see that block of something in the bottom of a sheep stomach never seen anything like it before and gone all right give me that in my mouth that looks good give me a spoon it's a dare like how you dared me to drink all the extra butter from the lobster trail but you knew what butter was you knew what butter who was the first but i even think like the first person who invented chocolate, right? Who invented a block of chocolate and took that to the World Fair

and went like this, go, here's my invention. And then they go, what is that? They go, what's that? And you go, it's a food. And then they're like, it doesn't look very appetizing. It's a solid block of a poo colored substance. It doesn't have any flair or color to it. And then you're just like this, but give it a go.

Give it a go. I'm telling you, it's good. It's very good. So, okay. So, okay. I will say this about cheese as well. Can anyone, can anyone name me a food, a single food that isn't improved by a partnership with cheese. Name me one.

Try it. Try to be. Because people say lobster. Mac and cheese. Lobster mac and cheese. I got one. Oysters kill Patrick with the melted cheese. The seafood rocks out the cheese.

So don't come at me with seafood. I've got all the answers. I've got one. I got one. And I love cheese and I agree with you. But what about sushi? Cream cheese in a philly roll yeah you out of your mind it's better i like it without the preserved fish and cheese is pretty bad like sardines sardines anchovies put them on pizza get of here. Just say you're an expert. What are you talking about?

Applesauce sounds bad. You're right. What do you say, Jack? Applesauce. Cheese and apples pair together. Cheese and apple. You can't just go oh, because then you get like, no, no, everything's improved with cheese. Ice cream, mascarpone, cheese and a thing,

cheesecake and all that, desserts, cheese it up, put some cheese on your stuff you can even like shrimp your shrimp palm you put your palm anything you palm something up and it's good it goes from all right to good okay so animals um this is what you guessed you said goat sheep cow uh human and alpaca those are all correct. You said llama, too. I didn't find that there was any llama cheese, but I suppose you can make llama cheese. Liz, Liz, tell him he's wrong.

The milk of a ruminant, so I guess you could make a llama cheese. I have never had myself. Do what I want! We didn't do camel. And actually, Forrest, I don't think on your list was yak cheese. I had that in Nepal. I didn't have yak cheese. Well, the knack is the lady yak.

Water buffalo. Yep. Water buffalo. Buffalo cheese. I've had that. Yeah. It's good. I also had reindeer, moose, horse.

That doesn't seem like that. No one wants horse cheese. The fucking French would eat that. They'd be like, it is the cheese of the horse. Served in the eye socket of a llama. It is delicacy. Camel cheese. Oh, yeah, camel cheese.

Yeah, that's good. And then there's donkey cheese, too. I would have said donkey. I bet you that's what Mary had. After she gave birth and she was in the manger, she would have reached over, yanked a bit of donkey cheese out. Well, I don't know if I have this correct, though.

The most expensive cheese in the world. Is that from a donkey? Is that correct, Liz? And then she said, look at all the cheeses. I believe you. The most expensive cheese in the world. Is that from a donkey? Is that correct, Liz? And then she said, look at all the cheeses. I believe you. The most expensive cheese I've ever heard about was the Spanish one that you also had in there. It's a mixed milk cheese.

And it was cow, wasn't it? The Europeans have all these competitions and then people bid on the cheese at auction and people go nuts and they'll buy it for like a couple thousand euro a pound. Not as much as gold, but the same price as gold, a thousand,

a couple thousand, a pound for gold. It's not good gold. When the market for gold is really good. Two carats, two carat gold. Just a rock with a little glimmer. A rock with hope. Yeah.

I found something. I think it's called P's p-u-l-e pool or pule it's made exclusively at serbia's zaz zaz africa special natural reserve and they use make it from donkeys and then the one that you just mentioned too that it's made cabrales cabrales in spain and that one it was like some some crazy they they you're saying they bid on it right and it gets up to like they they put it up at auction but like that one is ripened in a cave in a natural cave like an actual stone in the ground cave where the mold is just ambient in the air and that's how the cheese

becomes a blue cheese and how does an auction sound in spanish that'd be weird that'd be weird ole ole ole ole ole ole ole that's all it is ole ole ole four pesos sold I don't know

that ain't that we were in Spain not Mexico there was a bitter phone bitter there was I wrote some stuff at the end by the way

because you mentioned the cave and ambient whatever there was like some myth that that's how blue cheese was discovered and it was like really I tell you the best cheese I ever had best cheese I ever had

it was in a it was in a wet market in China bat cheese give it a go if you haven't had it give it a go my girlfriend died the next day here's what they said according to ancient cheese legend,

which is already funny. Blue cheese was invented when a young boy was eating a sandwich near a cave, spotted a hot babe, and abandoned his lunch to pursue her. When he returned a few days later, the sandwich was covered with mold, but he still ate it,

and well, the rest is blue cheese history. That doesn't seem accurate. I don't know. I feel like that leaves out a lot of key steps, but yeah he get the girl yeah it's two days later did he get the girl or did he come back to like after a long walk going i have to eat something i've been chasing that woman through the forest um and then i want to get into like the types of cheeses because you you you gave us some information but i'm going to go through a couple of things that jim answered real quick first uh top cheese consumer i don't know how you got this right but denmark is the top top you gave us some information, Liz, but I'm going to go through a couple of things that Jim answered real quick first.

Top cheese consumer. I don't know how you got this right, but Denmark is the top. Get what I want! That really earned you the five, was the Denmark. That was pretty impressive. Yeah, Denmark, I was there. I was in a fancy Michelin-star restaurant, and every course was like,

okay, if you start a cheese, and then for your second course, we're going to have this cheese sauce on top of a bit of cream and then we're gonna have some more dairy and then like you know it was like a fucking yoplait or something at the end and it was pretty fucking good meal but my girlfriend doesn't care that much for dairy so she was just like oh this meal sucks and i like, this is the best meal I've ever had. I love that. So Denmark is number one.

You were wrong on all the rest of them. No America, no Swiss, no Australia, no Poland, no Italy. How did Italy not get it? There's one obvious one. The rest are Iceland is in there, Finland, France. You missed. Oh, yeah. We have the fromage. That's an obvious in there. Finland. France, you missed. Oh, yeah. We have the fromage.

That's an obvious miss there. This is a little bit of cheese that you can eat. Cyprus. And it might change from time. But that was the one that I guess was from 2017. And this is per capita. And then United States is at 16th. That was kind of surprising to me.

I felt like we were going to try to. We need to get our shit together. That's because the cheese you eat doesn't actually qualify as cheese. It's not even edible. It's like real food. I'm a big fan. I'll tell you what. I have a few guilty pleasures in this world.

And one of my guilty pleasures is I love Taco Bell. Fucking love it. And I just eat it by myself in a car. I don't go there with anyone normally because they frown upon it. They look at you like, where have you taken me? And I go, it's a good first date.

Shut them out. Anyway, but I love the Taco Bell and there's a lot of cheese in that that's not cheese. I have a fondness for, I like high-end cheese. I love a cheese platter

or when they bring a cheese cart out to you in a fancy restaurant. Providence here in LA, which is a fancy business, it was the best cheese I've ever eaten. They have a cheese course with a cart. Very good.

But I love, I love me a Kraft single. One of those ones that are just wrapped in plastic. It melts in just such a way. It's just the gooey goodness. And I know it's not good. I know it's shitty, shitty. Is that even cheeseless? Is that like a Kraft single?

Well, no, it's processed cheese. So it's not technically cheese. That'seseless is that like a craft single no it's processed cheese so it's not technically cheese that's why it says pasteurized processed cheese food on the label because they can't actually just do you ever have yourself a craft single totally it's the best cheeseburger it's like what you want

on a burger it's the best one it's the best one on a burger and people they see you putting it on the burger they go's the best one on a burger and people yeah people they see you putting it on the burger they go like that and then they have it and you go what do you think come on let's go now try the chocolate well wait how is that how is how is a craft single made versus normal cheese hit it with a stick there's like a lot of less less stabilizers and preservatives that are added to it and it's heated to kind of make all of these things like meld together so that whole process i was talking about where you add bacteria to acidify the milk

and then you add rennet like yeah you don't do any of that you like basically like cook a bunch of shit together and like pack it into a block and it lives forever i love that people think that that's gross like Kraft singles are gross, but we get other cheese from the fucking stomach lining of animals. Right, right. Yeah, but I tell you, gross is all relative. If I put like two of them on each patty and then I put two patties and I have a four Kraft single burger

and then there's just all these plastic wrappers all around me and I'm just sitting in my own filth. Littering the floor. Yeah, I'm fantastic. I love them. How do they wrap them in that plastic? There's a machine. That's true.

That's our next episode. Whoever made that machine really fucking nailed it, eh? Who individually wraps craft cheese. That factory line must be awesome. Must visit it one day. Okay, so you were correct. Asia uses the, it's Asia in general, it uses the least amount of cheese.

Yeah, boom. How did he give me a three? No, five. You got a five in accuracy. No, but for believability. No, because you're all over the place. But yeah, the one thing that I read in Chinese culture, they said cheese consumption was historically limited

to nomadic tribes living on the fringes of society who were generally viewed as outsiders or barbarians so back in the day eating cheese was associated with like an unsavory lifestyle so it was like a classism elitism kind of thing and that just kind of continued till in the food i guess but now it's become there is actually you know they become more westernized all right we're going to take a quick break hey world Hey, world. People are trying to adapt to an ever-changing world. Constantly changing. Where are we going to buy more stuff online than ever before? That's what we're doing.

What if you're in it? No, we're all going to buy more. We're all doing it. We're all doing it. We're all buying so much stuff online. And if you're an e-commerce seller, are you ready to meet the demands of this new delivery culture? Probably not.

But you would be ready. We're ShipStation. Why ShipStation, you ask? That was a good question, Forrest. Why ShipStation? When you're selling online, getting a lot of orders out fast, it can be tough. It can be very tough how do you keep

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Chaina. Chaina. Chaina. I heard, because I went to school with a lot of Asian people. There's a lot of Asian people in Sydney. And my school was 80% Asian or 70% Asian. And I heard that they believe now, this isn't a for sure thing, right? But I heard that they believe that we smell like milk.

That white people have like a because of all our dairy that we have a bit of a a milky smell to us yeah well considering all the racist things we that our country has said about asians i feel like that's the one that's like the least no i'm just saying i'm all right with it yeah i'm saying i'm saying we'll take that one figure that's not intended in the uh charming Bern baby way. I'll tell you something else about my school. I've got to give a shout out to my school, St. Ives High in Sydney. In the Sydney Telegraph yesterday,

the story came out that the buildings are riddled with asbestos. Awesome. They've got a $4 million cleanup right now. So to all the people at St. Ives High, let's all get a lawsuit together and make a bit of cash. That's true.

My high school was filled with asbestos. Okay. I don't know if you can see it in the shot now, but we have a plate of cheese in front of you too. We have gherkins here, little tiny gherkins. There's cheese, but there's also – I picked up the cheese. The cheese was ordered by our producer, Alex, and I believe, Liz, you gave us the cheeses to order, right?

The new, suggest to us. I gave some recommendations. Yeah, some recommendations. I don't know what you wound up with. No, we got some father beans there. No, no, no, those are almonds. Almonds are really good. I've never had this, and then there's Fig Jam.

How it got involved with cheese. Oh my God, no, jam's so good with cheese. I like it, jam. How it got involved with cheese. Oh my God. Jam. Jam's so good with cheese. I like it. But how did it jump on the cheese bandwagon? Another one. Grapes. Who invited you?

Who invited grapes? I still eat them. And then walnuts are like this. Oh, I'm hanging out with grape. Every charcuterie board is just high people figuring out all the food in their apartment. How those combos were invented is beyond me. But the little gherkins, I've never seen the little gherkins. I hate anything from the cucumber to pickle family.

I'm not a fan. Cucumber, I can eat the most. But as soon as it's pickled, oh. In Australia, we didn't have pickles. We didn't have pickles. Now, there's got to be Australians sitting at home going, fuck you, you cunt. We fucking do have pickles. You, there's going to be Australians singing at home going, fuck you, you cunt. We fucking do have pickles.

You don't fucking know what you're fucking talking about. Well, I'm older than you, you cunt. All right? I'm fucking older than you. So I had a different experience. Right? Because to the Australians out there, it feels like it's second nature. There's McDonald's in every corner.

But McDonald's came to Australia when I was about three or four. Right? When I was a little kid used to it was like a big event yeah my parents used to go then there was one in our time and that looked like a train carriage and we used to go out there like all little train booths right with little overhead racks up and and my job was to get the straws and the napkins and then me and my dad we, and you've got to hold your table because there were so many people. It was like when there was that first McDonald's in Moscow, and they used to fucking queue around the block. That's how McDonald's in Australia used to be 40 years ago. Anyway, so it came over 40 years ago to Australia.

Before that, we had never experienced pickles. Pickles, there was probably some specialty store for the one Jewish person that lived in town, but we didn't have them on the regular. And back then you couldn't order your Big Mac how you wanted it. They used to just cook six of them at a time, leave them under a heater, and then you just luck of the draw, right? So what would happen is you'd have the two pickles.

There's two pickles on a Big Mac, one pickle on a cheeseburger, one pickle on a hamburger, two pickles on a quarter pounder, right? I used to work at McDonaldcdonald's right anyway you'd see everyone would lift up their the the pickles are always on the top level of your big mac you lift up you lift your meat up you throw your two bits of pickles into your styrofoam tray used to be in styrofoam it was a fucking mental world we lived in anyway anyway so mcdonald's in australia for a couple of years had a policy where they wouldn't serve pickles in inner city McDonald's after 9.30 p.m.

because all the drunks threw them against the window. And the front window of all McDonald's were just covered in pickles. So McDonald's in Australia went, no more bloody pickles. None of you fuckers eat them anyway. We're not putting them on. We're saving that pickle money, that sweet, sweet pickle money. Anyway. I like that there was a meeting about pickles at McDonald's.

I'll tell you when I first worked at McDonald's. We get off track here a bit, Liz, and you can join in the conversation if you wish, if you have something to add to it right now. But I was, I worked, I worked at McDonald's. I was there when they first brought in the McRib. You can't remember a time before the McRib. The McRib was brought in when I was 14 years old. We've been rocking the McRib in this world for 29 years

and it comes out every bloody year. And there used to be a promotional burger every month and then we got the McRib and we thought it was madness. It was the first time we used long onions and not the little dried toenail clippings that you had to add water to. And we had a vat of barbecue sauce and tongs. First time I had fucking tongs

and you had to dip the bloody whole thing in there. And we didn't eat ribs much in australia back then so we're like where did the bones go the mystery was endless so we have some cheese here and uh we're gonna talk about cheese now um back to cheese thanks for that two slices on a quarter pounder one slice on a big mac you don't have the mcfeast anymore but the mcfeast did you ever have the mcfeast let me tell you now the the McFeast is a quarter pound of bit of meat with a bit of tomato, lettuce and tomato and cheese. We gotta get to the cheese tasting.

Well, this is a- We'll do a McDonald's recipe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very excited. I know everything about McDonald's, man. I think Kelly just emailed you the list of cheeses we have there. I don't know if you got that or not, but.

Oh yeah? Okay. Just so you know that you- Well got that or not but oh yeah okay just so you know that you well if i if i really am an expert i should be able to figure it out i i put types of cheeses because i don't know what i'm talking about on on our on our on our sheet for research and then when we send it to you you said that you quote unquote we can get into this because there's categories are a little bit weird can you talk about like categories of cheese a little bit some crackers please yeah and then and then we'll get into the taste yeah i mean like categorizing cheese is really complicated because there's so many and so when i wrote my last book i basically invented

new categories for cheese so i have nine cheeses that i can the gateway cheeses. Excuse me, Liz. Jack, can you get that closer to the mic so it's fucking louder? Were you opening the crackers? Jesus Christ. Yeah, Jesus. No, I didn't mean get it closer. Yeah, yeah. Jesus, Jack. You're like a bad person in the movie that's opening up crisps.

Okay, so I'm sorry. You were saying, Liz, that. No, so I picked nine cheeses, and I call them the gateway cheeses. Oh, yeah. So I picked nine cheeses and I call them the gateway cheeses. And the idea is like, they're like the gateway drug to that style of cheese. So everyone's heard, everyone's heard of them. And if you know Brie,

you know, it's like white and soft and creamy or, you know, cheddar and that means something, or, you know, blue. And then from there you can go into all the other cheeses that

are kind of like that gateway cheese the iron um oh so it's that that cheese is the gateway to the other cheeses got it the irony is also most girls that i know that are called brie are also white and creamy all right so we're gonna start extra buttery you never meet like a latin brie you know what i mean it's a white day. It's a white girl name for sure. So we're going to start eating some cheese there. You are, Jen. And Kelly and Jack have some cheese over there too. And we got this cheese from your house.

You point at one for me to... So they're all number... Is this near my house? No, you can turn around. Yeah, this is in Sherman Oaks. This is really close to your house. I think the name of the place is on there. This is your good local cheese monger.

This is the cheese monger. Cheese monger, that's the bloody name. You didn't get that one. I sort of thought with all your time in England, come on, that's like a Britishism. Yeah, bloody fucking cheese monger. Okay, so the first cheese there, label number one. I don't know, do you want to, can you see it?

Do you want Jim to hold it up so you can see it? You have the list now too, but you can eat it with a cracker or not a cracker. I can tell you, I can tell you all day what this one is. Okay, so,

oh, you want me to give you multiple choice on one or you know what the- No, don't eat it for this one. Yeah, yeah, you got it? Yeah, yeah. What is it? Are you starting with number one

or are you just getting it? Number one, number one, number one, number one. Mozzarella. Yeah, but it's not just any mozzarella. I thought if we were going to do mozzarella, we should make it count. So it's a buffalo mozzarella.

So water buffalo mozzarella is like the classic mozzarella di buffalo made in southern Italy. And it's got twice as much fat as cow milk. So make it count. I didn't know that that was actually from buffalo. I had always heard it's buffalo mozzarella. Did you know it was from buffalo, Jim? Or did you just think, I'll get in a little bit later, man. I don't heard it's Buffalo mozzarella. Did you know it was from Buffalo, Jim, or did you just think... Do you want to get into that?

I'll get into it a little bit later, man. I don't want to touch my computer. It'll all go. Now, we got more cheese over there. We got plenty over there. Number one mozzarella. Get the fuck out of here. Okay, number...

Number two. All right. Number two is... White and creamy. Give me Brie. Give me Brie. It's your white... It's your white creamy girl. So, but it's not actually Brie.

It's Camembert then. It's not. It's actually made by a tiny farm in upstate New York. It's called Kunik. But like all Brie styles, it's got that white soft edible rind. So that's kind of what makes a Brie type. That's what makes it a Brie style is that white rind. It's actually made of molds. Oh, that's a mold. Yeah. The cheesemaker actually adds molds to the milk and grows the rinds on the outside of the cheese. It's like white

fur when it starts to grow and it takes a couple of weeks and then you get that soft skin on the outside of the cheese. So you can eat the whole thing and if that one actually has cream added to it so it's 75 buttercup that's a lovely cheese that lovely i'll give you all the names jim so you can get them like another time so um okay number mozzarella as dessert jim is lactose intolerant okay we'll get that uh number three is um this is a cheese made from cow i know what this is. All right, you do it. Okay, wait.

So we had some notes back and forth about how there are some- Jim, Jim. I'm getting a note. I'm sorry, one second. I'm getting a note. Can you please hold the cheese up before you eat it for the camera? Oh, fuck. It's just shoving food into his face.

It's fun to watch you shove it all in. Okay, I'm sorry, Liz. shove it all in. Okay. I'm sorry, Liz. So this cheese is. No, no. There are some cheeses that really smell like ass. And this is one of them. Oh, smell it.

Give it a good smell, Jim. You got to smell the cheeses. Yeah. You should smell them before you taste them. Hey girls, just so you know, I'm not afraid of it. Any cheese that's got that like tacky sticky orange rind which that one did although i couldn't see it because it went it does it just throw it so quickly you know you can hold it up there jim that's the style of cheese it's washed in salt water you're so good at presentation

it grows a different kind of edible rind, but it's more bacteria, not mold. And it makes it orange and it makes it smell really bad. So these are like the farty kind of diaper-y smelling cheeses. But good to know that is actually... Why would you describe it as diaper-y? All right. That's a camembert. He knows three.

Give me some options. Well, I don't know what kind of cheese it is. I just have the names here. It's called Redhawk. Oh, yeah, sorry. It's a local to you guys cheese. It's made in Northern California. It's called Redhawk, and it's made by Cowgirl Creamery.

But like Taleggio is probably the most famous. Taleggio or Limburger are like the most famous assy cheeses, which is technically called a washed rind. All right. Ass cheese. This next cheese. Number four now. Number four.

If you're looking at this, look at that. That's Danish cheese all day. Am I right? You actually, no. Well, I don't know. Yeah, that's a bit of an end of all. No, that one's sort of like a Havarti. That's like a classic semi cheese, but you have a lot of random,

weird American cheeses on your plate. That one is called Appalachian and it's made in Virginia. But is it like a Danish one? It's like a Havarti. Yeah, exactly. Like a Danish Havarti. That's sort of airy, pillowy, buttery, kind of mild.

But wait, you can tell they're American just by looking them on the plate? Oh, because I she got the list. I'll give you the list. You're good. Because I picked them. I was like, she's good. She's an expert.

Let me tell you. You get a 10. Alright, so number five now. I've heard of this kind. Number five. This is a sheet milk one. Oh, yes. Hold it up for the camera, Jim.

This is one of my gateway cheeses. This is the cheese that most Americans, this is one of the only sheet milk cheeses that most Americans have heard of. And it's called manchego. And everyone wants to call it manchengo. I'll guess it in a second. But it's manchego.

And it's Spanish. She already said it. It's manchego. I'll guess it in a second. But it's Manchego. And it's Spanish. She already said it. It's Manchego. Manchego. Like Che Guevara, not like Chang. So, did you eat the rind? Because you're not supposed to.

A little too late. I ate all of it. You ate the rind? Yeah. What should I expect? Don't blame me for your gastrointestinal distress after this. Oh, my God. No, the rind is actually, it's not intended to be eaten.

It's not going to hurt you, but it is made of wax. So when you get into a harder age to this. I'm going to shit a candle. No, it's not. Well, yeah, I was going to say it'll all be like that. Okay, moving on. Number six. Just in general, Jim, hard-aged cheeses,

you probably don't want to eat the rind because the rind has been sitting on the outside of the cheese for three or four or six months or 12 months. You do what you do. I'll do what I do. Okay, number six, this is a type of cheese that's very popular, but- Don't eat this, Ryan, it's made out of cloth.

Oh boy. Oh, too late, no, no, she's kidding. That's tasty cheese. Tasty cheese? But that's like a- You know what, like in Australia they call it tasty, like the type of cheese, like tasty? Yeah, yeah. This is a very popular type of of cheese jim is that what they would call just cheddar

it's cheddar but it's like a special kind of cheddar called a cloth found cheddar that one's also made in california oh really does that cloth i thought you were kidding no so it is it's called a it's an english thing it's a bandage wrapped cheddar and so they wrap it in cloth and age it for like 9 to 12 months wrapped in cloth so you wrap it in cloth and age it for like nine to twelve months wrapped in cloth so you want to take the cloth off before i think we did take the cloth off didn't we okay yeah i'm pretty sure we'll find out later i ate something okay number candle will be gift wrapped i mean who knows number number seven hold hold number seven up okay okay so number seven this is an amazing cheese this is this is closer to

like like your danish cheese this is uh like uh vati or whatever what's the name am i right it's a swit it's actually a swiss cheese so no holes in this one oh that's heaven it's amazing um so those are the are like very firm but pliable, and they melt really, really well. And that one is called Hollerhocker. The rind is very chewy. I told you not to eat the rind. She keeps telling you not to eat the rind.

She's giving you the instructions. That's a good one? When the cheese is soft and creamy, you eat the rind. And when it's firm or hard, don't eat the rind. Okay. Broadly speaking. The Swiss cheese. All right.

I'll remember that. That's like a really special, really excellent Swiss cheese. So next we have a cheese from France. Number eight. Hold that one up for you. Number eight is a cheese from France. Oh, I thought this was going to be like. Oh, this is a good one.

I thought this was going to be like an American cheese. You got to smell them always. What does that smell like? Yeah, so what does it smell like? It's pungent. What does it smell like though? I don't know. I don't know what that smell is.

I don't know. It's like the only cheese I can really see cause it's bright orange. It's not dissimilar to a Parmesan, although this is a French cheese. It's a little bit sweeter than a Parmesan. Vomity. So kind of like an aged gouda um it's

called mimolette and i picked that one because the way they make this cheese it has tiny microscopic bugs on the rind of the cheese oh right there that's a little mug that feels like a prank do you see how the like look at the rind it looks like a moon rock like it's all like dusty and has like whole cratery kind of holes in it. Like pock marks. Those are from cheese mites that actually help form the rind of the cheese as it ages. But again, I told you not to eat the rind. That cheese, not a winner. His enthusiasm has dwindled.

That was the worst one. Okay. Well, number nine is an obvious one. I think you know what number nine is. Blue cheese. Blue cheese. Blue cheese. Just ate the whole thing. Yeah, it's a specific kind, obvious.

There's so many different kinds. Yeah, that's Bailey Hazen Blue. It's made in Vermont. But that's one of the best blue cheeses made in the U.S. That's a powerful cheese, that one. You might want to wash it down with some mozzarella. We've got more cheese over there. Get a smar a fig jam on there and balance it all out. Um,

all right. So, so, uh, that brings us to, that brings us to our next topic. Jim is lactose intolerant. Should we do an Imodium ad right now?

Imodium. I tell you what, I'll never take a cent from you. I'll advertise you for free. Yeah. Bloody. Yeah. Bloody do a good job. Imodium. I'll advertise you for free. You bloody do a good job about him. But you need a lifetime supply. I'll tell you who else we'll do adverts for. Forrest, you were mentioning the other day.

Whoever put those legs on golf bags. Oh, yeah, those are amazing. We'll do an advert for them. Whoever put wheels on suitcases, I'll love you forever. You mentioned that you guys were sort of talking about lactose intolerant at the beginning so jim has lactose intolerant he believes he is and he can't eat cheese yeah yeah and he may be but there's no lactose in cheese so that's not your problem but you did mention ice cream ice cream has lactose yeah ice cream really lets me go but if i eat mac and cheese i'm done for the

day so how does that work i mean probably i'm guessing you're eating it from a box, right? I put a scoop of ice cream on top like a normal person. A lot of the powder stuff has whey powder in it. So that would have lactose. There's normally a bit of cream in mac and cheese in the sauce. The cream would have lactose, right? Yeah, it could be it too. If you add the cream in there when you mix it.

Milk powder. That is funny because sometimes I eat like a cheeseburger and then I'm like this. And I'm like, ah, I got away with it. I got away with it. And other days I eat a cheeseburger and I get away with it. I'm sitting there drinking my milkshake thinking, what happened there?

Don't drink the milkshake. You need to make a Swiss cheese milkshake. That's how you do it. Cheese milkshake. All right. Well, that's great. I think that's it today for our cheese stuff. We have one more section.

Liz, you're welcome to hang around for that. But I wanted to say again, thank you, Liz Thorpe for being here. Please go buy her book on Amazon. It is called The Book of Cheese and Cheese Chronicles. Her YouTube channel is The People's Cheese. Or on Instagram, you can follow her at Liz Thorpe Cheese. Thanks, Liz.

Thanks, guys. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. Do you have a partner or anything? Do you have anyone you're dating or anything? I'm not asking. Like a life partner. Yeah, like do you have a, you know, I don't know. You might have a girlfriend or anything do you have anyone you're dating or anything i'm not asking like like a life partner yeah like like do you have a you know i don't know you might have a girlfriend a boyfriend whatever but but like could you date someone who doesn't eat cheese

or would you just be fuck this idiot i know and i broadly just like i could never spend a lot of time with a vegan like that would be too hard for me yeah i'm with you a vegetarian no problem but like cheese and eggs to me are like i can't i can't spend any time parts of my life with vegans my girlfriend's yes girlfriend is a vegan oh this we i have to eat vegan cheese things and she stands over me like this going that cheese is vegan you can't taste the difference can you i'm like i can i fully can taste the difference because you're not tasting the difference, can you? I'm like, I can. I fully can taste the difference. How could you not taste the difference? So one more thing, Liz, I'm sorry.

We always like to ask our guests if there's, because the concept of the show is having some knowledge that other people might not have and trying, like Jim gave the giraffe example. Is there some crazy, obscure fact or something about cheese that we could have that people can take with them so that they can tell people that they know about cheese it's just one or two things yes we've actually done a lot of them like but i would say a good one is ounce for ounce there's more fat

in hard cheese than in soft cheese really people always like don't want to eat the soft creamy cheeses because they're like oh there's so much fat in it and like actually if you eat an ounce of that versus an ounce of a hard cheese you're eating less fat if you had if you had all the white creamy cheeses if you had one cheese for the rest of your life what would it be it was what one's that one like really stinky French cheese that comes in a box and it's that that the assy kind

which is my favorite the salty meaty stinky cheeses but you can't you can't put them on burgers well

no we already established American cheese yeah I would just I would put it on a burger and I would be

happy with that yeah yeah just like a schmear of it it would work with a schmear okay so here's our last segment Jim this is what we do I would put it on a burger and I would be happy with that. Yeah. Just like a smear of it. With a smear. Okay. So here's our last segment, Jim.

This is what we do. Each show is, uh, it's called, I do know about that, or I might know about that. When I change it, this is a subject that we've talked to Jim and he says that he thinks he

knows about, and he'll be able to answer three questions. No problem. Do you like a Philly cheese steak, Liz? Yeah, I do like it, but that's like the ultimate process. Cheese. No, no, no. Yeah. That's like a philly cheese steak liz yeah i do like it but that's like the ultimate processed cheese no no no yeah that's like a cheese whiz the spray bottle you get it with

the provolone the provolone on it very good very good no no you can't no that's you can't you've got to get it with the american it's like all about the sweet processed cheese that's what makes it good oh no i like the provolone i I'm going to go. You're going to go bad. You got to go bad. All right. So things I do know about. I have to stop talking about cheese. Okay.

Kelly's unwrapping cheese in the microphone now. So here's our last topic for I do know about this. Today's topic, Jim, is cheeseburgers. All right. I got to stop talking about cheese. Okay, cheeseburgers. We tie it in. We tie it in.

Ask me a question. Okay. Ask me no question. I'm getting cheeseburgers. We tie it in. Ask me a question. Okay. Ask me no question and I'll tell you some lies. Three questions about cheeseburgers. Who is said to have invented the cheeseburger? Well, the burger, it comes from Germany. Hamburger from the country of Hamburg. And it's like how the Germans like to make formed meat

is a big thing in their culture. Snitzels and things like that, right? Yeah, but I'm sorry. I said the cheeseburger, though. I'm getting to that, Forrest. Okay. So what happened was when Fritz Harnberg from Hamburg came over with the hamburger you're not getting

you're not getting great and unbelievability okay so the cheeseburger was invented by i'm gonna say it would have been someone in america i'm gonna say the invention happened in 1920 1920 and it was done by a man called Ronald McDonald. I thought you might get it. 1926 pretty good. It was a guy coincidentally named Lionel Sternberger and it was in Pasadena California. That's who's credited with it

at the age of 1916 at the place called The Right Spot. California's the hamburger central. I know the way, but like, so McDonald's started in San Bernardino, In-N-Out Burger. In-N-Out Burger, you can't beat In-N-Out Burger. I will fucking – I will fight you if you say any different. In-N-Out's your number one.

And I love all burgers. Five guys, very good. Shake Shack, okay. Okay, it's good. Not amazing. In-N-Out, number one. Okay. And then good. Not amazing. In and out. Number one. Okay. And then in the United States.

What a burger can suck a dick, by the way. All you people in Texas. In the United States, National Cheeseburger Day is celebrated annually on what day? A Wednesday. Got it. Yeah. I thought maybe you'd know. It's September 18thth i celebrate it every day

and and it's always in my heart okay i love hamburgers um and then the last one how many uh mcdonald's makes an average of this is kind of a crossover how many burgers a day do they sell okay so they used to say over a billion served. McDonald's has been around since the 1960s. So a billion served. Per day, how many? Yeah, but I'm going to have to do the math. I have to divide it by 60 years.

There's 365 days in a year. Nobody thinks you can do this math. Square root of 25. The answer is 100,000 burgers a day worldwide. Our information we got is 6,480,000 hamburgers every day of the calendar year. Because it's the whole world, don't forget.

I'm talking about on Christmas. The most recently published numbers we found show McDonald'sdonald's selling 4 500 hamburgers every minute of the day whoa wow it's a lot of dead cows so um i don't think it's from a cow maybe not the fillet of fish was introduced because for the catholics because they wouldn't eat the hamburgers on the fridays and they weren't selling enough so they brought in the fillet of fish and people say hmm cheese doesn't go with everything it they brought in the fillet of fish and people say hmm cheese doesn't go with everything it's on a fucking fillet

of fish people and they used to give you half a slice of cheese they used to cut the cheese in half for the fillet of fish and now they give you a full slice that's progress that's a good wrap up right there Liz thanks for being here Jim anything else you want to say thanks for having me Jesus Christ

give them what they want Give them what they want. Give them what they want. Thanks for being on the show, Liz. Thank you, Forrest. Thank you, Jack. Thank you, Kelly. Thank you for everyone who listens. If you're enjoying the podcast, get the word out there.

It's still new. We're still getting more followers each day. And tell your friends and download it. Yeah, you go to Apple Podcasts. Rate, review, subscribe. On YouTube, Spotify, anywhere else you listen to podcasts, and please like or follow whatever you want to say, our Instagram page, idkatpodcasts. And give it a nice review and give them what they want.

Give them what they want, people. And if you're ever in an argument and you don't know what's going on and you want to still win the argument, you just go, well, I don't know about that, and you walk away. Good night, America. Hey, everybody, Jason Ellis here from the Jason Ellis Show podcast, reminding you that my podcast, new episodes every Wednesday, downloadable where all podcasts are available.

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