I Don't Know About That - Christmas

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

In this episode, the team discusses Christmas with author of Christmas in the Crosshairs and Santa Claus: A Biography, Gerry Bowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hi. How are you doing? The answer is the wheel. Oh, is it? And then I don't know which. I think it was the PlayStation was before the Xbox. Yeah, the PlayStation was before the Xbox. I had a PlayStation back in the day.

I did that because it was Christmas time, isn't it? Christmas time. You're listening probably around Christmas. And you kids, you're probably sitting at home going, oh, I want a PlayStation 5. They're fucking sold out. Yeah, you're probably sitting at home going, oh, I want a PlayStation 5. Ah, they're fucking sold out. Yeah, you're not getting that. You're going to find out if your parents love you or not real quick. Well, what's the difference between that and the 4, though?

What's the big... The load time is meant to be a lot quicker and it's a pretty swanky-looking controller. Yeah, the controller that puts resistance on the triggers, it can be programmed to replicate a gun trigger or whatever it's used for in the game. Okay, so kids will get better at shooting real guns. Yeah, exactly.

That's the thing that was missing. Yeah, that was the thing that was missing. And you can somehow play your PS5 through your PS4 through the internet or something crazy like that. It's madness, the PS5. Yeah, madness. You name two things. Oh, the innovations are like... Load time. Yeah, load. You named two things. The innovations are load time.

Load time and trigger buttons. How's everyone doing? We all had a good week? Yeah. No. What's your segment today, Jack? We just came back from Phoenix. We just came back from Phoenix. Great show. Oh my God, Jack killed.

Great show, great show. Forrest is in an intensive care unit with COVID. Today's segment is, I do know about that. Maybe. Now I know about that. Do you have a theme song for that? I had it as now, but you said I do know about that. Now I know about that. Maybe.

There you go, that's our theme song. No one sent it in yet. Yes, no. I don't know. Can you There you go. That's our theme song. Okay. No one sent it in yet. Yes, no. I don't know. Can you repeat the question? Oh, it's Macklin Middle. Anyway, today's topic is Strongman from episode 22 with Martin's leeches? I got to reach out to Martin.

I got to reach out to Martin. Have you guys been texting? How you doing? Not lately, but how you doing, Martin? We're going to have you over when the COVID's over. This is how you're reaching out to him on the podcast? Yeah, I'll do it. I'll come over and ask when the COVID's over, man.

I wanna see him squat you in the backyard. Oh, yeah, that'd be good. He can crush the COVID with his bare hands. So you don't have to worry about it. I wanna see him squat over me in the front yard so the world can see. First question. What are the five competitions? The five competitions?

The strongman competition. The five events? Five events. Well, we found out there was more than five. Yeah, but they gave me at least five. Okay, I'll read you the five then that we talked about, and then you can name me what they are. There's the one where they throw the cattle bells over the over the he's gonna read you the five because there's more than five all right just read me five farmer's walk uh the

farmer's walk is where you um get like a whole lot of like you lift up a car or something like that you walk along with it like that on your side this one you pitched it should be called the shopping bags event the shopping bags where you pick up heavy little that on your side. This one you pitched it should be called the shopping bags event. The shopping bags is where you pick up heavy little things on your side. No, no, that's the farmer's walk. That's the farmer's walk. This is what you pitched it should be called, shopping bags. Oh, yeah, you pick up big weights and then you walk as far as you can.

Walk as far as you can. Yep. But it works with the- Jack, you're supposed to say wrong and then you say- Yeah, but the car is the same thing. It's the same motion and the same pickup and it's a bit of a walk. No, because the car is a whole thing. It's the same motion and the same pickup, and it's a bit of a walk. No, because the car is a whole thing. Okay.

Second one, McGlashan stones. Are they the stones you have to put on the pillars? Yes. Thanks. Hercules hold. Hercules. Oh, is where you've got to lift something above your head, like the big picture Hercules?

No, that's when you hold on to the fact that you're... Oh, forget it. It's when you're holding on to two posts that could fall over and you hold them as long as possible. Oh, okay. Like a grip. I totally forgot what my joke was going to be in the middle of that. Good stuff.

Good podcasting here. Pole pushing. Pole. I forgot. That's where you push a pole. Yeah, yeah. Right? It's where you push a polished person and tell them they're push a pole. Yeah, yeah. Right? It's where you push a polished person

and tell them they're stupid within jokes. Yeah, yeah. Your joke for the episode was that that's what started World War II. Oh, yeah. That was a funny joke. But the competition, it's like sumo wrestling

where there's two guys, one on either side of a log, and you try to push each other out of the circle. Okay. I just thought of something good for this. Next time we do this thing, you should actually ask Jim if he can remember what his joke was. Last one, the crucifix. Crucifix is where you hold yourself, like that hold

heavy weights with your arms extended out like a crucifix. Ding, ding, ding. And then where's the kyber toss? And where's the one where you threw the cat? You threw a kyber toss, but- The cowbells over the pole and all that type of stuff. All right. So he knows his shit. There was kyber toss, but it wasn't in the five, so I ignored it. That was maybe the most lackluster thing you've done on the show ever.

Now, that's the only questions you have? No, I have more. Oh, wow. That's all I have for events. Oh, okay. questions let's move on that was terrible who tends to win the strongman competitions men strong guys it's it's a lot of strong guys muscular muscular people people with a hookup for steroids um and normally Eastern Europeans are very, very big into it. And there's one other that also wins a lot. Americans, Buck Rogers.

Buck Davis. Buck Davis. Yeah, there you go. Damn, pretty good. You also said there's one Australian guy named Gavin who was backpacking in the area and decided to give it a go. I was backpacking in Australia. He's around going, oh, it looks pretty heavy,

but you never know until you try. I think in the Olympics the guy was backpacking too. He was backpacking. Yeah, that's what Australians do. We're everywhere. We're 20 million, 23 million people or whatever. Any corner of the earth there's some Australian bloke standing there going, yeah, I just came over here and I never left.

Last question. How many calories per day does the average strongman eat? 6,000. That's very good. It's 5,000 to 7,000 calories. That's what six is, yeah. Martine says that because in the episode you referenced Michael Phelps, it's like $10,000 to $12,000.

He says that's bullshit. He says it's bullshit, that he just thinks they're all liars. They're all liars. All the swimmers. All the swimmers are fucking liars. Do you remember where Martin Lichis is from? He's from Poland. Oh, God.

He's from... Oh god he's from I don't remember either I think it's Slovenia He came out here as a little I was going to say Bulgaria Yeah he came out here as a little Eastern European country But he came out here as a small child

He competes as an American Yeah he's been on the east coast Since he was a kid Yeah Latvia Latvia Latvia Corner boy

Way to go Manuel Rodrigo Spanish guy Thank you very much Wow Your voice has changed Way to go, Manuel Rodrigo. Spanish guy. Thank you very much. Wow. Your voice has changed. I was doing Latka. That's right.

Latka. I thought that was Luis. No more questions? That's it. All right. Let's start an ad. Start an ad. People, ad companies, pay for this show.

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I'm enjoying it. Now, all jokes aside, we've been taking the piss. They're very good. What meals have you had out of there, Forrest? I don't remember. Okay. Because you had them all. You put them in a bowl.

No, no. I'm doing the keto meal plan because I have yet to find one of these boxes that does keto. So I'm excited about that. I know, but there was one that I ate. And then when you lose loads of weight and you come in here in a bikini, I'm going to go, keto, oh, no. Play that. Keto, no, she did it. Okay.

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Please welcome to the show, Jerry Bowler. G'day, Jerry. G'day. Hey. All right, so I've already figured out That Jerry's not Australian But did you notice The extra A Ah He put the A on

Ah he's Canadian Yeah He solved it And I'm going to say It harks back Okay we have to We have to Judge a book by its cover

Yes though Yes though Yes though Yes though Judging a book By its cover Yeah, we need to figure out a better way to get into the theme song. Oh, people love it.

Yeah. So Jerry Bowler, okay, so you go back to the old days when everyone was named after their occupations, like a Smith was a blacksmith and a Cooper made barrels. I'm going to say that Jerry's a bowler, and we're talking about bowling. No. Okay, all right, then I'll have to ask. Well, he might bowl, but even we're not talking jerry's a bowler and we're talking about bowling no no okay all right then i'll have to like i'm he might bowl but even we're not talking about professional bowler yeah

okay not okay jerry uh you're a canadian i've i've gone i've decided um very good yep yeah for canadian um so what the canadians into um do you do you Do you write books, Jerry? I do, yes. Are they educational or fictional? They're highly informative, I would say. Highly informative. Okay, so they could be instruction books. They're the most informative of them all.

The IKEA instructions. That one there is step one. Have you got an Allen key? Okay, highly informative. Is it something that is informative to a broad spectrum of the public or is it a very niche market? No, it's pretty broad. I'd say it's almost global.

Almost global. Almost global. Almost global. Almost global. Almost global. Do your books involve science? No. Well, occasionally, but not much. Okay. Okay.

Occasionally, but not much. Do your books better mankind? Oh, certainly. Oh, all right. You know what hint I always like to give you? You really like this topic. I really like this topic. Better's mankind.

Yeah. Are they cookbooks? No. I'm surprised you always say- That's the thing. Cookbooks are informative. They're global. They're better mankind.

Yeah. You always say porn when I give you that hint, by the way. So I'm glad that you went with food finally. That's good. A better hint is you just commented on my sweatshirt before we started. It's Christmas time. Norma, you give me a treat. It's Christmas.

You write books on Christmas. Yay. Yes. Jerry Bowler grew up in Western Canada and earned a PhD in history from King's College in London, England, with a dissertation on Protestant political theory of the Tudor period. He is a historian with eclectic interests. His publications range from academic texts on the 16th century Europe to the connection between Aristotle and professional wrestling. But for the past few decades, his focus has been on the social history of Christmas.

He taught for 25 years in the history department at the University of Manitoba and is now a senior fellow at the Frontier Center for Public Policy at Canadian Think Tank. Here are some of his books. Europe in the 16th Century, The World Encyclopedia of Christmas, God and the Simpsons,

The Spirituality of Springfield. I like that. Santa Claus, a Biography, Christmas and the Crosshairs, The Spirituality of Springfield, Santa Claus, a Biography, Christmas and the Crosshairs, The World's Greatest Christmas Stories, The Kindly Curmudgeon, and True Obedience, Tudor Protestants and the Resistance to Tyranny. Okay, just before we start doing this, if you have kids in your car, please turn the podcast off because we're going to be saying some things. We're going to be saying some things because you can't say it.

You think people listen to those podcasts with kids in their car? My nephews will catch it every once in a while. Hey, Kelly's on the radio. Yeah, not good parents. Not great parents. I'm not going to die if I know how to handle that. It's funny because I was on radio once. I was talking about when I was going to tell my son that Santa didn't exist,

and they cut me. They went, no, you can't do that because we get more complaints for that than anything else and if you if if you didn't switch the radio off just then before i told you this that's it's on you kids there's no santa there's no santa jerry uh can you please tell us like how did you shift in the christmas as a as a speciality well my specialty was 16th century theories about assassination. Mm, mm, mm, mm. I see. Natural next time.

No way to spend a lifetime. So I brought a little Christmas quiz to a party, and everybody said you ought to write a book about it, so I did. I wrote several. I hear that the assassination festive month is March. Is that correct? Well, certainly the Ides of March. 44 B.C., yep.

All right, Christmas. I have to compliment you. You've decorated your place very Christmassy. You seem to be all in this year. Canadian understatement. We're not flashy people. He's in Winnipeg. Winnipeg.

I've performed in Winnipeg. I know. I told him yesterday that some guy tried to fight me in a bar there after one of your shows. Yeah. We're not flashy people. He's in Winnipeg. Winnipeg. I've performed in Winnipeg. I know. That was it. I told him yesterday that some guy tried to fight me in a bar there after one of your shows. Yeah. That's quite possible. There's not much more to do. It's very cold.

It's a national sport. Okay. Here's what we're going to do, Jerry. I'm going to ask Jim everything he thinks he knows about Christmas. We're going to ask him some of the questions that we've provided. And then after he's done, you're going to grade him zero through ten ten being the best on accuracy at how well he did kelly's going to grade him on confidence i'm going to grade him on etc uh zero through ten lump of coal i love christmas i don't know if i know a lot about it

but i like zero through ten lump of coal 11 through 20 you get one shoe. One shoe. 21 through 30, two shoes. That's a callback to our honk episode. Okay, what is Christmas? Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ. It happens once a year on December 25th. Christmas Eve is the day before. I didn't ask you about Christmas Eve. What happens is it's meant to be a religious thing, but for people like me who are atheists and didn't grow up in a religious family,

we still celebrate Christmas because kids get presents delivered by a fat man in a red suit who rides a sleigh with reindeers that fly him to all the destinations of the different houses. The way he does it in time is because he goes against the rotation of the earth, like Superman did in that episode where he turned back. I think he just does it in time zones and goes through. Australia gets Christmas first. The only country that gets Christmas before Australia is New Zealand, and that's not a

real place. How far back does the origins of celebrating Christmas go? how far back does the origins of celebrating christmas go well so if we're to believe in the religious calendar that the birth of christ was 2020 years ago but um i assume that we like they didn't celebrate it the next year they didn't go hey remember last year when that baby was born someone get me a tree pronto. So I'm going to say it would probably be 500 years after Christ. Okay. It's 500 years after Christ.

So that would put, I'm not even doing the math yet. 15 or 520? AD. Yeah. 520 AD. 520 AD. Okay. And then like, what's the story of, I know you kept going on the Santa Claus. Okay, so what happened was there was this woman named Mary, right?

And she was shagging around and she didn't want to admit it. So she said there was, no, I don't know that. So Mary was visited by an angel and the angel came down and impregnated Mary, came down and put a baby in her. And then she went off to Joseph and just went, hey, I'm pregnant. And he's like, what? But we haven't even had the sex yet. And she's like, I don't know what happened.

And he's like, I'm a good guy. I'll take care of you. So then what happened was they were living in Jesus of Nazareth. They were living in Nazareth, I believe. I'm going to say Nazareth. Maybe he moved there in his teens. But he was living in Nazareth, right? They were living in Nazareth, I believe. I'm going to say Nazareth. Maybe he moved there in his teens. But he was living in Nazareth. And then there was a thing with the census where they said

that everybody has to go back to the original town of birth to be counted or whatever. And so they got on a donkey. They got a pregnant woman on a donkey because you don't want the census to be mixed up, do you? So they went off to Bethlehem. Now, in Bethlehemem there was no more all the hotels for the census was all booked out right and you know you should rock up to a hotel there's people

waiting in line and check out right and they're like have i got my room and they're like yeah you've got a room they're like cha-ching and then there's like a heavily heavily pregnant woman behind them going i might be giving birth and than saying, I will give up my room and I'll sleep in the barn, they looked at the woman and went, sucks for you, right? And the guy said, there's no room at the inn. And so they had to go into the barn, a manger, the manger at the back with all the animals

and that type of stuff. She gave birth. They never really harp on about whether it was a long labor or not. I think it was a pretty easy birth. The woman had been riding on a donkey for two days. So she gives birth, and then there's a star, a bright star that rose that was above because it was the son of the Lord was born, and all the shepherds and stuff looked at the star and they walked towards it,

which we all know doesn't really work because if you look at a star, you can walk 20 miles and go, oh, fuck, it's still in the same spot. But this particular star seemed to guide them, right? And they walked. All right, let's wrap it up. They walked there. And then there was three wise men. Three wise men showed up and they had frankincense, gold, and myrrh.

And I believe one of them was like, they were all- Now, who were the three wise men? Like, what? One of them was called Balthazar. Yeah. And- Why were they there? Ray and Finkel.

Ray and Finkel. Balthazar, Ray, and Finkel. Why were they there? They were there because King Herod had heard something about like there'd be a baby born, and he was getting a bit upset about there being a new Christ, and there was people that were thinking about bumping him off, and they were like, we have to see the Lord, man.

Okay. What is yule? It's something you tie things together with. That's right. You go, oh, you go, my parcel needs a Yule tie. Yule tie. Yule tied? Yule tied. Oh, no, Yule tied is a detergent.

No way. It makes your clothes smell like candy cane. Yule tied. Is Christmas a pagan holiday? The pagans are always bloody involved with everything, but I'm going to go, no, it's not. It's a Christian holiday. The pagans are always bloody involved with everything, but I'm going to go, no, it's not. It's a Christian holiday. The pagans aren't Christians.

All right, and was Jesus actually born on December 25th? No, he wasn't. He wasn't. Like the idea- Like I used to know. Because our calendar is meant to go from the date of Jesus' birth. That's how we have our 2020 and that type of stuff, and that's why religious people believe the world isn't that old,

et cetera, et cetera. But, you know, he was obviously born on January 1st. Near his baby. What happened was we didn't want to double up on the birthdays, so they went, slap it back a week. Slap it back a week. Give us a whole week off work. Yeah, that's smart.

Who celebrates Christmas? How many people are in the world? Let me count. I'm going to say 3 billion people. 3 billion. How many people are on the planet? 7 billion? That might be right right i don't know

yeah three there's a lot of there's a lot of other religions what i'm saying like so so there might be different measurements there because you might be going how because i celebrate christmas and i don't i'm not religious yeah it's true so so i'm saying 3 billion including all the people like me who just get on board right and all the people who are like, Hanukkah sucks, mom. Can we have our Christmas? Right? And then, but I'm going to say like 2 billion religious people. 2 billion Christians. Is Christmas the most important holiday in Christianity? Remember we did this with Hanukkah. It's not as important as Easter if you're religious.

Yeah, okay. What was the massacre of the innocents? I don't know oh dude that's what my my high school was named after the holy innocence yeah the massacre of the innocents was the time that uh jack lusty's virginity is everybody's headphones one's like cutting in and out i just touched your cord like an asshole sorry yeah it'll be fun uh when was santa introduced into the christmas world um old saint nick i think saint nick was actually based off a real person um i believe i i reckon saint nick's probably goes back 500 years okay and then he was he was originally with different outfits and then

coca-cola came in and made him uh red and white he probably wore red and white every now and again but he solidified that with our old advertisements back in the 1920s do you know what political cartoonist is largely responsible for defining what modern santa claus looks like if that is because i know we said it was coca-cola in another episode but then i have this question here so i don't know if this is right whoever was the bloke who who drew the original mad magazine okay um i'm pretty human with a beard what roman holiday held from december 17th to the 23rd had a large influence on how christmas was celebrated oh um uh i don't know i don't know. I don't know. I know that the Dutch have a different one.

The Dutch have Sinterklaas and Winterfest or whatever they have. That's not what I asked you, though. I know, but there's different- I know, but this is what you do. You're always like, I also- There's other things that are close to Christmas, but they're not quite Christmas. Okay.

I'm going to write a book on Black Pete and what he gets up to. If you haven't seen the Black Pete clip from the Jim Jefferies show, get online online and watch it it's well worth of you yeah it's well worth of you um a couple more questions here uh what christian group banned christmas in boston from 1659 to 1681 dave matthews band bastards no i i'm gonna i'm gonna say for which from what is 1659 to 1681 in Boston. I've got Christian group. The Southies. Oh, it would be Jehovah's Witness. Jehovah's Witness, although they believe in a type of Christianity,

they don't believe in Christmas or birthdays or anything like that, so they still don't celebrate that. In what country did the custom of putting up a Christmas tree originate? I would give that to the Germans because of tannenbaum and them having the song why would they write the song yeah okay here's a couple more questions is die hard a christmas movie it is it is regard is it open for debate because i started watching with my son just the other day because we're going through christmas movies because christmas yeah Christmas. Merry Christmas. It turns out Die Hard, I said to my son, you want to see a real Christmas movie? There's like tits in the first scene.

It's an office party and someone's shagging some woman and the terrorists come in. So you forgot about that? Yeah, I just forgot about it. Yeah, I didn't know about that part either. I just forgot about it. I'm sitting there with an eight-year-old going, oh, it's got to be a bit action.

He likes action movies. He gets like a hose and jumps off the building. It's like tits and cocaine in the first two minutes. In the first two minutes. And some- So he thought it was a home movie or something? And the Asian guy who's the boss who they hijack, his brains get splattered against the wall in like the first 10 minutes. So yes, yes, yes, Forrest.

Yes, Virginia. It is a Christmasmas movie what is currently going on in europe in regards to santa claus do you know anything about that there's something going on maybe controversial um i i look if i i believe that probably uh god i'm gonna get in trouble for this maybe the feminist movement has gotten involved and said why does he have to be a man i don't know. Okay. And what's the war on Christmas? The war on Christmas is the people here in America.

It's mostly the left-wing people, and I consider myself moderate that leans slightly to the left, but dickheads who are like, don't say Merry Christmas. And then people like Trump get along going, oh, I'm saying Merry Christmas. Who gives a fuck? And they want to say season's greetings and all that type of stuff. But I don't believe in God, and I'm still happy to say Merry Christmas. I like Christmas.

And I think I missed this one. Where is that? What is the quote true meaning of Christmas? Good tidings and love for all mankind. Okay. All right, Jerry. Jerry Bowler, thank love for all mankind. Okay. All right, Jerry, Jerry Bowler.

Thank you for being here on a zero to 10, 10 being the best. How did Jim do on his knowledge of Christmas? Well, he was really off to a tremendous start with his knowledge of the history of the nativity. I was going to give him an A there, but boy,

he started slipping after. Yeah. After Chris, the shepherds were not guided by the star. They were guided by an angel. You only do one out of three. Magi failed on Yule. Oh, he got pagans right.

Okay, so I'm going to... It's Christmas, so I'll boot him from a C plus to a B minus, which would give him a what? Six out of 10. Oh, I'll take it. Sure. Okay. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. We'll have a chance to go back and correct them. Don't worry. That's what we're going to do now. So Kelly confidence. I think confidence was an eight. The surprising thing was that you knew about King Herod wanting to get rid

of all the babies. I didn't. Yeah. I was surprised by that. I'll the babies. Yeah. I didn't. Yeah. I was surprised by that. I'll give you an eight. I didn't even know. I thought he was lying. So I don't know.

Did you not know about that? No. I don't know anything about anything. Even, I'm not religious at all. I know nothing about anything. So when it comes to religion or. I watched a lot of like Cecil B. DeMille religious films as a kid. It was like, that was my mother's jam, man, was so you're at 14 points you know what i'm gonna give you seven so you get two shoes i don't want two shoes for

christmas these aren't the ones i asked for yeah you're my real dad okay um christmas so jerry uh let's start just how far back does the origins date he said said probably 520 AD. And then if we can talk about just a little bit of the origin. That's a little late. He's right in that it was not celebrated right away. Probably early 300s would be a better date for that. That's the moment in which Christianity becomes legal, that up to that time it was persecuted. And after the Emperor Constantine, it's legit out in the open, able to celebrate.

Okay. So Christianity was the original weed. Okay. Put that on a T-shirt. That'll sell in Silver Lake. And so I know we do celebrate on december 25th i know he's right on that um but the original story that you said he got that pretty close to how it was is there anything you missed knowing about nazareth i mean hats off jim well done thank you thank you

jesus and i've been to israel yeah the easy birth that's that one was debated. And finally, the church decided after a vision of a Hungarian saint around 1200 that Mary had suffered no birth pangs at all. And the baby just, poof, appeared at her feet. I heard that Joseph walked in and went, that's an ugly baby. And she went, I'm still sitting on my donkey. That's how the turkey got down for Christmas dinner. So very, very good on that one. Yule is the Nordic name for Christmas, still used in Northern England and the root of Christmas words in Scandinavia.

Can I ask you, just going back, so when they decided to celebrate Christmas, the first you said 380 around there sometime. What would that look like? Like, what was that? It would have been a church service primarily. Like, what was that? It would have been a church service primarily. But the fact that it occurred in the midst of the Roman holiday period, right between Saturnalia and the Roman New Year, meant that really quickly all kinds of accretions landed onto it,

like gift bringing and greenery decoration. That kind of stuff stuck. greenery decoration. That kind of stuff stuck. Things like cross-dressing and wild dances in the streets and dressing up like animals didn't stick. That was popular in

Sodom. That's a little earlier, though. Wow, it would be fun if we still cross-dressed. If they added cross-dressing into the Christmas traditions. You could now. I guess, yeah, you could. I hear that Santa isdress. Yeah. If they added cross-dressing into the Christmas traditions. You could now. Yeah. I guess, yeah, you could.

I hate it, Santa. He actually misses clothes. And then the three wise men, I know Jim probably didn't get their names right. Why were they there? What were their names? And what was... Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthazar.

Melchior. Yeah. They were following a star. They'd seen his sign in the east and come to worship him and brought gold, frankincense and myrrh so almost full marks for that

I only knew the name Balthazar I'm a big fan of the Rankin Bass stop motion shows from my childhood I was obsessed with them as a kid I tried to get my son on board and he was like shit dude and I'm like it's good, it's good stuff stop motion is not good I know because I'm like, it's good. It's good stuff.

But the stop motion is not good. I know because when I was younger, that's when I was in the Rudolph stop motions. I remember watching those. But I can imagine a kid today would just be like, this is good. Yeah, animation's really good now. Yeah, no, the Santa Claus is Coming to Town is my favorite thing ever.

The Heatmeister and Snowmeister and all that type of stuff. But there was a little drummer boy. He went and there was no drummer boy. That's just the song. There was no kid rocked up with a drum and started bothering everyone. That didn't happen, right? Not as far as we know. Okay, good.

That's why we have the Carol Silent Night. There's a lot of contradiction in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, Silent Night. I'll sing a song about it. No, no, no. The whole premise is it's going to be silent. Yes, to music.

No, no. The Little Drummer Boy is probably the reason King Herod wanted all the little boys killed. And then we got Silent Night. That's what I'm guessing. So frankincense and myrrh. I just know that as like incense. We know what gold is. Frankincense was like a lotion or something like that

the last two um are are about worship that's that's the incense and myrrh that's actually an embalming embalming hate it's a bomb so um you know the carolol We Three Kings talks about power and praise and sacrifice being the essence of the three gifts. And what record do we have of these people actually being wise? Were they just people who big mouth themselves? Like, I'm really smart. Or did they win Jeopardy? Well, they did very well on Christmas Mastermind. very well on on uh christmas mastermind the greek word is is magoy uh which means mage or or wise guy all right oh was it so was it more like wise guy like jersey version of like that it's the gold

got some capicola for you jesus yeah yeah and that's that's how jesus got his name one of them walked in and looked at the baby went jesus christ oh god who had burned that kid i say i can not respect i should have done a soprano's christmas episode that never happened um so is christmas a pagan holiday? He said, no. You got that one, right? Yeah. Uh, when was Jesus actually born on December 25th? It's as good a date as any.

Um, it doesn't come from the Roman holiday period as we used to think. Uh, it's based on a weird calculation, uh, that says that the earth was created around the time of the spring solstice and that would equate to the conception of Jesus. And so nine months after the spring solstice, poof, gives us December 25th. Okay, yeah. I never really thought about when he was conceived. It was when he was born, but yeah. He was conceived by an angel, right? Or the angel just told at the conception? Yeah, the Holy Spirit we generally give the responsibility to. It's the same as Anakin Skywalker.

Yeah. You know, going back- The midichlorians. Oh, I see. Okay. I think that's good. Who celebrates Christmas and how many around the world? Jim said around 3 billion, maybe 2 billion are religious. Do we have numbers on that? I think that's good. Who celebrates Christmas and how many around the world?

Jim said around three billion, maybe two billion are religious. Do we have numbers on that or? No, we don't. But it's not a bad guess. It is publicly celebrated pretty much everywhere except Saudi Arabia. Even North Korea puts up trees in tourist hotels, really widely spread. So, yeah, 3 billion guests, 4 billion, it wouldn't be far off. Also, if you went to a hotel in Saudi Arabia, they wouldn't, yeah, right now. No, I wouldn't be wearing it. And that's the most oppressive thing about that place. The nerve. We should start protesting that.

Yeah, you get some bloody christmas tree burgers you have them walking around brilliant um i don't even know if this is a question you can answer but what is the true meaning of christmas is that it was really good um christmas has all kinds of meanings which is why it survived for almost 2 000 years and why it has such a hold you know it's about gift giving but it's also about the nativity, the incarnation of God and man. It's about generosity, reconciliation. Tremendous answer there.

Good tidings. Peace on earth and will to work, man. Yeah, peace on earth, man. All right. Anything else you want to add, Jim? Presents. Presents. I loved Christmas as a kid.

I used to just lose me fucking shit i i believed in santa claus for a strangely long time like i don't know i think i was nine i think i think this might be my son's last santa claus christmas and i'm dreading it so i'm really going to town this year he still believes in it right he still believes yeah have you told the story about the notes oh yeah yeah when i was when i was a kid i don't know if i told this when i was when i was a kid at the school right so so we're in like year five or year six so we were like 12 we were 13 we're 13 years old right and what they do is we're in primary school they'd get the kids in the in the year one to write letters to santa there's a sweatshop this school

they'd get the kids to write letters to santa then they a sweatshop, this school. They'd get the kids to write letters to Santa. Then they'd give them to the grade six kids, the 13-year-olds, and we, as a task in our class, we'd have to write back as Santa to be delivered back to the kids, the younger kids, right? So we get sent all these letters up into our class. I'm sitting next to this girl. She's called Fiona.

I won't say her second name because she sues. So we're sitting there she's she's 13 she's sitting next to me we're writing letters and she looks at me and she goes this is really wrong this i don't feel comfortable like this these letters should be getting to santa i didn't look at it it's not my place to tell it. I'm like, yeah, tell me about it. How will these kids even get their presents? The way I found out, I was maybe nine or ten or something like that, and I had one toy that I got that was made of wood.

I knew how Christmas worked. Santa had the helpers in the store, and they bought the presents, and then he delivered them. The elves weren't making the stuff from Mattel. They weren't making Hot Wheels, right? Hot Wheels made Hot Wheels, and Santa delivered them. But there was a few things the elves obviously did make. And I had this wooden puppet.

I like puppets as a kid, right? And this wooden puppet, right? And my friend came over. My friend came over, and I go, look at me Christmas haul. I got this. I got an Atari. I got a thing. And I go, and at me, Christmas hall. I got this. I got an Atari. I got a thing. And I go, and this wooden puppet here, this one was actually made by the elves.

And he looked at me like I was a simpleton. He didn't even have to say anything. And I just went, oh, no. That's where your comedy career started. I was kidding. Fucking idiot. You believe me? Elves is the brand.

What was the Massacre of the Innocents? It's not when Jack lost his virginity, was it? No, it has to have happened. Still waiting. Yeah, that's Herod's Massacre of the Boys. Can you expound on that a little bit? So what was the catalyst for him wanting everybody to be dead? The wise men show up in Jerusalem and say,

where's this newborn king of the Jews we hear about? And Herod, being king of the Jews, gets a little antsy and consults his soothsayers, and they say, well, the scriptures say Bethlehem, likely. So Herod says to the wise men, it's off in Bethlehem, just down the road, let us know where you find the kid. And so they go off and worship the newborn babe, and are warned in a dream about Herod, and so they leave, and Herod, discovering he has been deceived, sends in the secret police, and they massacre all the young boys of Bethlehem. It's like the plot of Home Alone.

Yeah, well, it's a little known fact that- I watch a different Home Alone, I guess. It's a little known fact that if Trump got a second term, that was his plan. Oh. Yeah. Get rid of the COVID. Just bought a Barrett, he was. Yeah, it's very Game of Throne-y. That was his plan. Yeah. Yeah. Get rid of the COVID. Just bought a Barron he was.

Yeah. It's very Game of Throne-y. That's what it is. But also, like, all the women in town must have been like, this is bullshit. Yeah. When they get to, like, their 20s, they're like, what? There's no men in this town. Yeah.

Fair point. They're all a couple years older or younger. Yeah. So when was Santa introduced into the Christmas world? He's off by a few centuries there. St. Nicholas is around since the 300s. He becomes the gift bringer around 1100. He kind of spawns Santa Claus about 1820.

Who was this guy? If he didn't become a gift giver for another 700 years or whatever? Who was he? He was the most powerful saint in heaven aside from the Virgin Mary. He was the patron saint of just about everywhere, but particularly the patron saint of children. But did he live? Did he live with us? Oh, yeah. He was a bishop in what's now Turkey.

I visited the church in southern Turkey where he's supposed to be buried. Oh, so he's from Turkey. He seems awfully what? That was before it was Turkey. That was still part of the Roman Empire. Yeah. And then in another episode we did on Coca-Cola, Yeah. And then we had another episode we did on Coca-Cola that he said that the red and white was because it came from a Coca-Cola ad or something.

That's a myth. That's a myth. Yeah, absolutely. No, Coke had nothing to do with the invention of Santa. It's just that their ads done by Haddon Sunblom, a Chicago artist in 1931 on were omnipresent. He went every store, every billboard, the side of every bus had those ads on it. And so the red and white led people to think that Santa had been the product of Coca-Cola. So Coke isn't the reason he wears red and white, but it is the reason he can deliver all those presents in one night.

Okay. And this is why we have this podcast so like get things correct and another episode on mushrooms there was there's something about like the red and white of the mushrooms being a sissy yeah and it was a whole book written about that yeah yeah and again no that's not we're not yeah because we're gonna go with you you're the christmas expert so that was we're gonna go with you okay that. When were the elves introduced? Was that just someone writing a book? Well, that's interesting.

St. Nicholas is the gift bringer up until the 1820s, and he is a Catholic bishop. But American poets turned him into a secular figure dressed in fur in a sleigh pulled by reindeer. Just an idea that they had, because it was still the Little Ice Age in the early 1800s. So if Santa Claus has some kind of polar connection, then they adopted all of these house elves that populate Scandinavian folk literature and give them the elves. So they pop up about the 1840s. Oh, the Scandinavians with the elves. I learned that off Eurovision movie. Yeah,

yeah. Icelandic elves and all that. Have you ever seen the Finnish movie Rare Exports? I'm going to think through all the finished movies i've seen no it's the third best christian uh christmas movie ever made and uh the third best all right now this is already a question rare rare rare rare exports okay rare experts wait exports or experts? Exports. Rare exports. Okay, so what's your top two then, man? Well, it is the Scrooge, the 1951 Scrooge with Alistair Sim in black and white, except no colorized version. And the number two would be Frank and Barbara Stanwyck in Remember the Night, 1940.

Okay, but have you seen the Bill Murray Scrooge? the Night, 1940. Okay. Have you seen the Bill Murray Screech? Yes, I have. Okay. He's holding his nose. I'll tell you the best Christmas movies ever. We might have a different. I Don't Mind a Wonderful Life. I Don't Mind that film.

It's a bit depressing. It's about suicide and all that type of stuff. It's a bit un-Christmassy. Your number one is Chevy Chase and Christmas Vacation. Oh, yeah. Then your number two, Home Alone. Boom shakalaka. You watch them, you'll be very happy.

What about Die Hard? You said that's a Christmas movie. Die Hard's not. No, Die Hard's. It's a Christmas movie, but it's not the best. Die Hard 1 hasn't dated that well. The rest of the Die Hards where they ramped it up, like he starts off just like as a cop.

He's just like, oh, no, I'm caught in this building. I've got no shoes on. And then the next one, he's like a superhero. He gets better and better. He gets more powerful. Do you consider Die Hard a Christmas movie? Absolutely not. Do you watch Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation?

I do. Yeah. Very nice. It's a good film. What about Christmas story? I couldn't find Ernest Saves Christmas. Oh, yeah. Ernest Saves Christmas. I love Ernest Saves Christmas. Oh, yeah. Ernest Saves Christmas.

I love Ernest Saves Christmas. I've never seen Ernest Saves Christmas. I got the Ernest movies on a DVD box at home. I'll bring them over. My son's really vibing with these new Santa Chronicles or whatever on Netflix. They brought out one last year, and it's Kurt Russell playing Santa Claus. Oh, yeah. He's really lucky.

I haven't watched him, but he digs them. What about A Christmas Carol? That's not on anyone's list. I feel like that. What about White Christmas? That was a good one. santa claus oh yeah he's really lucky as i haven't watched him but he digs him what about a christmas carol that's not on anyone's list i feel like that what about white christmas that was a good i've never seen like most of these movies a christmas story you've ever seen polar express okay here we go i'm gonna put another one in the top five this isn't even controversial i don't believe i can't believe it's like my top two elf yeah awesome yeahf's an awesome movie man Elf's pretty high up there Charlie Brown Christmas My wife

She prefers Home Alone 2 To Home Alone 1 Oh good heavens I wish you told me before we got married I could have dodged a bullet But now I'm stuck in this relationship She likes Home Alone 2 I like Home Alone 2

It's good but it's not a patch on Home Alone 1. When I was younger, I preferred 2. I feel like I've mentioned this before, but my mom's legs are in Home Alone 2. So we have to go with that one. What do you mean her legs? And her presidents in the second movie? In the scene where the robbers,

they're staking out the toy store because they want to rob it. She doubled for Joe Pesci. They're sitting in the little toy houses waiting for the store to close and a woman walks by and they follow her legs and watch her and that's my mom. So my mom has been in a movie with Trump, which is

very cool for her. Very exciting. Donald Trump's in that movie. We mustn't overlook Elves. A 1990 movie in which a love-hungry Nazi elf is part of a fiendish plan to create a super race and bring back a Hitlerian fourth Reich. What the fuck?

When you say elves, is it spelt with two S's? Might have to watch that one. Wow. Who's in that? If you remember Grizzly Adams, the actor there, plays the department store Santa Claus who saves the virgin who is to be mated to the elf. So put that on your list.

I'll tell you which one I like. I'll tell you another one. Bad Santa. Yeah, don't watch that with an eight-year-old. That's what I was about to talk about. Yeah, I know that. I thought this would be a bit of a laugh. Oh, no.

No, I like Bad Santa. That's a good one. Okay. So is this wrong then as far as a political cartoonist being responsible for defining modern Santa? Is that? Yeah, the face of the modern Santa comes from the 1860s by the cartoonist Thomas Nast.

Oh, okay. He was the guy who also invented the Republican. The elephant? Elephant and the democratic you just said oh right like he knew thomas nast was no no no no no he was saying it was a political cartoon oh my god that guy's got it you're going oh i do like his stuff i'm just stroking my sound to be. He's got a good resume there. Santa and the Democrats and the Republicans. The truth is he was trying to draw Santa three times. It's just terrible.

That one looks like a donkey. I don't know which one. Okay, so the elephant is the donkeys. God, the donkeys, the Democrats, the elephants, the Republicans. I think maybe you touched on this what roman holiday held from december 17th to the 23rd had a large influence on how christmas is celebrated was that what you were talking about earlier with the yeah saturnalia we used to think that we don't think so much anymore um but it's it's really the roman new year on the first of january that had gave us most of the stuff like presents. Yeah, okay.

And then what Christian group banned Christmas in Boston from 1659 to 1681? Well, it wasn't the JWs. It was the Puritans. Ah, the bloody Puritans. They're always up to no good. Keeping everything pure and not fun. Yeah, the JWs. I've never heard of that before for the Jehovah's Witnesses.

I'll tell you, I think it is about the Puritans. They've never been invited to an orgy. The whole group. None of them. None of them is like, but she's really hot. No, I don't care. It's going to be a nightmare. She's going to want to burn something.

No, that's the difference. The burning in it. Don't pagans burn things? Pagans and Puritans are different. Puritans and pagans aren't the same thing. Yeah. Don't even get us started on the Quakers. I think they're the opposite.

In what country did the custom of putting up a Christmas tree originate? He said Germany. The custom of putting up a Christmas tree outdoors is not Germany, but the custom of bringing a Christmas tree indoors is Germany. Wow. Yeah, I was surprised. Oh, Tannenbaum. Oh, Tannenbaum.

So outdoors is different. Yeah, outdoors. The custom of having a tree outdoors. Was Mother Nature. Goes back quite a far away before houses. Started by political cartoonist um yeah did you see the one this year in times square well it was like it was really ratty looking did you see it at all no uh it was like everyone of course was like puke 2020 but it was

a shit tree and then there was an owl that was like still sitting yeah my tree. My tree, I got a big ass tree this year. It's not taking water. I put water in to begin with. Am I doing something wrong? It's not taking the water. It's not sucking up the water. Is it screwed too close to its base? Did you cut the trunk?

Yeah, did you know that? Luis has a trick. Don't you put some sort of cola in the Christmas tree? They put that Mexican milky drink. Muchacha. Horchata? Did you say muchacha? Horchata.

That's why I never ordered it. I love it, but I can never get it. Hey, can I get a large muchacha? A woman comes out and brings out the cook. What is a muchacha? That's a woman. That from the back. Bring out the cook. Oh, no. What is a muchacha? That's a woman.

That's a woman, yeah. All right. Okay. Can I get a large muchacha? Yeah. Well, it is a milk-based drink. I'm going to order that and I'll be happy if I get either. Yeah, no.

We put 7-Up in our trees. We put 7-Up in the tree. We put 7-Up in the tree. We've done the 7-Up trick. I see. I thought it was a Mexican thing. I guess not. Well, he obviously is Mexican. He's got muchachos. No, no, this is the thing. We went and bought the tree and they have

that stuff that you put in the bottom, that green stuff that you're going to spray in, but it's not good for pets. And we have little cats and we don't have the cats drinking from it. And so a Mexican guy comes up to us. There you go. We were selecting a tree. He goes, I'll put seven up in there, man. Jerry, do you have any tricks?

Do you know any of this? Yeah, 7-Up works. Really? You put vodka in the 7-Up, didn't you? Yeah. That's the problem with the tree. The level doesn't seem to be going down because I go down there and drink it. Well, how long have you had the tree?

Oh, it's over a week. It's been like since January 1st, December 1st. Yeah, I guess you should have been taking up water. I don't know what to tell you. It's not like you're going to put your hand and splash it around in water. Is it losing needles? It's wilting a little bit. It's like the branches are going down a little bit. See if it can hold out.

It'll last until Christmas. Yeah. Okay, and we talked about this yesterday jerry santa claus in europe currently something is happening there yeah there's a war against santa as being uh an american interloper after world war ii um santa claus was really adopted uh in western europe. American troops had brought it. It was, you know, sort of the American future, prosperity, consumerism, good times. At the same time, the Red Army had conquered Eastern Europe, and they abolished St. Nicholas and brought in a secular imposter named Grandfather Frost, dead morose. So Europe has had these two foreign gift-bringers.

And in the 1990s, when the Red Army left, Eastern Europe rejoiced, booted out Grandfather Frost, and brought back in Saint Nicholas. And this prompted Western Europeans to say, out with Santa Claus, let's bring back in Germany, bring back the Christ child, Das Christkind. In the Netherlands, it's St. Nicholas. In France, it's the baby Jesus, In France, it's the baby Jesus, Le Petit Noël or Le Petit Jésus. And in Spain, it's the three wise men.

So this movement is called patrimonialization, and it's an anti-imperialist attempt to bring back traditional gift bringers. Yeah, but we won. We won the war, man. Santa beats all of them. I thought it was called like Sinterklaas in Holland, right? Sinterklaas? Yeah, Sinterklaas is how he gets taken to North America, and that's the name that these New York poets hear orally.

They hear Sinterklaas and turn it into Santa Claus. And he rides on a horse, and he doesn't do this late. He does a horse ride, and he wears one of those like bishop hats, pointy hat. And you know about Black Pete. Indeed. There's the war against Black Pete now. Black Pete's almost gone. We went and did a field piece on Black Pete and they go,

oh, we're going to change it to chimney Pete. So for all the people who are listening right now, hasn't seen anything, please Google Black Pete. Just put Black Pete into your search engine and then step away, right? And oh, I'm going to tell you. But down from the Jim Jefferies show, we did a field piece on it. But it's basically, it's Santa's friend. And now they're saying they're friends, but if you go back historically, he was like a slave of Santa. And if you're good, Sinterklaas gives you a gift,

and then Black Pete, if you're bad, Black Pete puts you in a sack and takes you to Spain. Like, it's quite the dilemma. You want to really be good, right? And so now they're saying, because he has the curly hair, and people do blackface in Holland, the most inclusive society in the world, where they have prostitution and drugs and all that type of stuff.

And then they do blackface and gold jewelry and an Afro-y wig, and it's really offensive looking. You could be the most racist person in the world and go, oh, no, I don't know about that. Like, that one's no good. And so now they're saying the reason he's black isn't because he's black, it's because he's gone down the chimney first before Santa Claus making him black. Although for some reason it's just his hands and his face.

And somehow his hair becomes a fro and he has big red lips. And the rest of his outfit's pristine. Hit the dry cleaner. They're getting rid of him, right, Jerry? A United Nations delegation came over and said, yeah, get rid of him. He's racist. Also, get rid of St. Nicholas.

You've already got Santa Claus. And they just about lynched her. She had to be escorted to the airport and flown back to New York. Ironically. Yeah, they're very passionate about Black Pete. The first time I saw Black Pete was this. It was very jarring. This is before we did the field piece.

I was performing in Afghanistan during the war, not just for laughs. And I was going out there to perform for the troops. And so I'm in Afghanistan. So there's Australian troops, American troops, British troops, Dutch troops, right, all the people that were there. And it was in December and then there was just all – I was with some American soldiers in a van and we're driving through the base and there's like eight guys in blackface

with hoop earrings and stuff like that. And I was like, what the fuck? What the fuck is that? Merry Christmas. And then the American's like, that's the fucking Dutchman. He was like, phew. And he's like, you try to tell them they're not going to fucking listen about their fucking Black Pete.

And I'm like, Black Pete? Also the name. It's just Black Pete. It could have been called Dark Dave. It's just such a fucking, like, a weak-ass name. The thing is, too, the Dutch get all this credit because, oh, we legalize weed and prostitution. But when you travel the world, English always get the most shit

for taking over other countries, like, you know, colonizing. But the Dutch somehow flew under the radar. They're all over the world doing bad shit. The Dutch got away with murder. Literally. Why do you think there was a problem in South Africa? Yeah. It was the fucking Dutch, man.

Yeah, they were everywhere. Yeah, the Dutch are just like, no, we have friendly people who like to have different porcelain figures, you know? They legalize weed and be like, hey, we're cool, right? Hey, just take a joint man calm down um the war on christmas uh that's always at the forefront this time of year right yeah it's it's real um there's always been a war of one kind or another against christmas we talked about the puritans uh inside christianity They're still around. There's still Christian groups opposed to Santa Claus and the celebration of Christmas. In the United States

and England, it takes the form of a debate on how much room religion is going to be given at the public square. And Christmas is the time, it's the most visible time for Christianity in the course of the year. So that's when the secularists and the atheists will come out and get their share of the spotlight and argue about it. But it's not an invention of Bill O'Reilly. It's real and takes all kinds of different shapes. Isn't it one of those things, though, that, you know, you can just choose to ignore it? Like, I know that people don't want you to say Merry Christmas or whatever. I say Merry Christmas. know you can just choose to ignore it like i know that people don't want you to say merry christmas or whatever i say merry christmas and if someone told me told me uh i don't like holidays happy

i don't give a fuck say happy holidays i say merry christmas i i the people who get upset by the starbucks cups yeah i don't think that all feels so manufactured to me though it feels like one of those things that like four people tweet about and then BuzzFeed picks up and people are fuming about it. I've never met anybody who actually cares about this. I think it just got introduced as like, hey, let's be more inclusive and say happy holidays, and then people went apeshit. There was talk at one of my friend's kids' school, not the school that my kid goes to, but I don't want to get in trouble with them,

where they wanted to change it to Winterfest or something like that. If you don't want the Christmas, don't have it. You can't just hijack it and call it something else. Yeah. Well, I don't, I mean. Back to the trees. When did, like when you say first indoor trick, do we always gussy them up?

Did we always cover them in no that took about 100 years the first you you bring a tree inside just the way you bring greenery inside at the the barest time of the year so you bring in you know ferns and cypress and holly and that kind of thing and somebody in germany got the idea to lop off the tops of Christmas trees, the tops of fir trees, bring them indoors and hang them up upside down from the ceilings as, you know, a bow, a green bow to remind you that spring is coming. About four people died. And so later they're tipping the tree, we would say right side up. And the earliest decoration we know of is 1604. And since then,

they used to be tabletop trees. And since the 19th century, they've gotten full sized. And there's, there's this sustainable, aren't they? Christmas trees. They're a farmed product,

right? So you don't have to feel bad about doing them. They're a sustainable thing. And you can always rent them. There's people who will rent you a Christmas tree inside soil for the year, and then you give it back. Like in a pot? It's like a newer thing, right?

And you could have the same tree for 20 years. They just like repot it every year after you give it back. Is that more expensive? I don't know. Oh, yes, of course. I'm only renting the bloody thing. It's your tree now. You adopted it.

You buy it. You can do whatever you want to. Throw it out, make fire out of it. Yeah. It smells good. The real ones smell good. I haven't had a tree for years, but now that I have my own place, I got a fake tree to start off with this year, and we're decorating it.

It's nice. I'm allergic own place. I got a fake tree to start off with this year, and we're decorating it. It's nice. I love Christmas as a kid, and then there was a dark period of Christmas. I love Christmas now because I have a child. And I've always liked, even in the, there was an era, the time that I lived in England for 10 years, there was some dark Christmases, man. Me and my friend, Jason Whitehead was involved. I won't say the other person's name in case they're offended

but we used to have what we call a white Christmas which just involved three blokes without a family doing a hell of a lot of cocaine that's fast stuff and we'd watch movies did you exchange any gifts? no, no, no

alright Jerry Bowler, here's a part of the show called Dinner Party Facts where our expert gives us a fact obscure, interesting, that our audience can use to impress people on the subject. What do you got for us on Christmas? Well, I think any Christmas party would be livened by your dropping into the conversation

the mention of the Catalonian Cooper. Yeah. In Barcelona and northeastern Spain, to the conversation, the mention of the Catalonian cooper. In Barcelona and northeastern Spain, it is customary to put a little figure of a peasant dropping his drawers, squatting and taking a dump, and putting that in your nativity scene. Jack is about to explode. I wasn't paying enough attention. What country is doing this? It's northeastern Spain, Catalonia, Barcelona.

Oh, okay. If you go to Barcelona, they'll have one that's about 12 feet tall. But you can see poop coming out of the little figurine. And why is that? It seems like a pile. It's on the ground. But you can see poop coming out of the little figurine. And why is that? It's like a pile. Yeah, it's on the ground. And you can buy it in the shape of rock stars or soccer players. I was telling him that my brother Scott and Jen went to Spain probably 15 years ago,

and they came back with a figurine of John Lennon shitting. You never thought to question it? Well, they had mentioned something. It's like, oh, it's the Christmas pooper. But I was like, okay, i never looked into it but what what happened with the christmas pooper was there someone shitting at the nativity i'm sure it was uh indoor plumbing had yet to be invented it's an animal barn so yeah manure would have been part of the original Christmas. You asked why, though. You asked why. Do the Spaniards find this a humorous thing, or do they take it seriously?

It's a little – it's something that they own. They're proud of it. There's also, I have to tell you, a pooping log. In which you get a log. That's called a yule log. And you feed it during the course of a week. And then you cover it with a blanket at Christmas time. The kids come with sticks and beat it saying, log skipped, and out come little presents.

That's in Spain too? Northern Spain, Southern France. Is that where dropping a log came from? That reference? I think it looks like a log. In Australia, at the top of our Christmas tree, we don't have a star or an angel. We put a kangaroo dick.

No, you don't. We do, yeah. We had a kangaroo dick. No, you don't. We do, yeah. And a red kangaroo dick, and the scrotum hangs down. Shut up. And then we go, all the little children come around, and we go, what's in the scrotum? And then you're like, one kid tries to climb to the top, and if he can get to the top and get to the scrotum, they get the present.

It's normally a lolly or a testicle. Yeah. And that represents what? Christmas. No. The pooper represents. That's going in the book. What does the pooper represent?

Fertility. Yeah, that doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense. I get my wife when I come over here. I want to show you how fertile I am. Why in the dining room, Jim? Well, that is definitely a good dinner party fact uh jerry bowler we want to mention again uh as author of many different books um the uh the world encyclopedia of christmas a biographer

or a santa claus a biography christmas and the crosshairs the world's greatest christmas stories this one sounds really interesting too uh god and the simpsons the spirituality of springfield i don't know if that's a christmas book but that just sounds like an interesting yeah but um the simpsons was at least when i did this in the 90s the most religious show on television wow yeah reverend lovejoy they still go to church flanders flanders is super religious and there was the fact that like george bush said we need more families like the Waltons and less like the Simpsons. And then people were like, they go to church every fucking week, man. Yeah. But Jerry is G-E-R-R-Y and then Bowler like a bowler.

So please look him up and buy one of his books if you are interested. And do you have something else you want to promote or say, Jerry? Sorry. No, just Merry Christmas to everybody. Merry Christmas, Jerry. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for coming on the show. I could have talked for another hour on that.

There's still more things I want to talk about. Well, maybe we'll have them on next year. We might do a follow-up Christmas episode. All right, ladies and gentlemen, if you're ever at a Christmas party and you see me shitting in the corner and someone goes, hey, that's not Christmas, I'll go, I don't know about that. See you next week. Hey, everybody.

Jason Ellis here from the Jason Ellis Show podcast, reminding you that my podcast, new episodes every Wednesday, downloadable where all podcasts are available. Come see my friends, Michael and Kevin, as we talk to you about what's awesome, what sucks, fitness, fighting, parenting, life, spin kicks, LGBTQ community, how to defend yourself against a shark if it attacks you out of nowhere, and much, much more. So come join us.