I Don't Know About That - Climate Change with Josh Willis

Episode Date: September 29, 2020

In this episode, the team discusses climate change with NASA Climate Scientist, Josh Willis. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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And then I looked at the Beatles poster on the wall. I thought, oh, that's a bit too easy. And I went, oh, Rolling Stones. They've got two words that I can go the difference. And then I said marijuana. And it turns out it's a plant. You're just like Brick from Anchorman. I love lab. i like that you're

recapping i know the thing we just heard and we are and it was you just said what you said that's that's that's how i have eight stand-up specials i just do i just do the whole thing where i say everything and then explain it it's like it's the reference. It's like, I was talking to Forest Shore. Forest Shore. And then you can expand things a little bit. Hold on. What is the Rolling Stones? What did that even mean, what you said?

The Rolling Stones. Both. We could talk about rolling. How was rolling invented? Rolling? Oh, I was assuming rolling on drugs. Just any rolling. Rolling cigarettes.

Rolling on the ground. Why haven't we done that episode? Cars roll. Cars roll. Henry Rollings. So we would do an episode on rolling. Cinnamon rolls. Oh, wow.

Sausage rolls. Sausage rolls. I'm on a roll. Oh. Where did these words come from? Who knows? Let's do an episode on rolls. Write it down.

Rolls. I've got an acting roll. It doesn't mean that you're acting like you're rolling. It's a different thing. Okay. Role playing. Shut up, Jack. That's a stupid idea. Duh. I was role playing an arsehole. You're right, Jack. That was a good idea.

Vindicated. Thank God. Alright, let's do an asshole you're right jack that was a good idea vindicated all right anyway we were sent a theme song oh yeah by the way okay i was gonna comment well themes on the comment let's hear from jenna emory oh fucking hell she still got my number come with me to comment world making comments a world of fun. Bit of clarinet. Oh, no, it's starting over. Come to me to comment world. Comments are a lot of fun.

I like the clarinet. Yeah, the clarinet. Okay. I'll tell you what, Jenna. Put clarinet through it all. She's going to have to dub the voice, and she's going to have to mix this. Clarinet the whole way through,

voice the whole way through, then you got yourself a hit. You mean we're going to use it as the theme song? If she does clarinet and voice, and then I will re-judge. What's her name? Jenna Emery. Jenna, here's a hot tip for you.

The worst porn name ever. She got the first name right, and the second name, Emery. Jenna, here's a hot tip for you. The worst porn name ever. She got the first name right and the second name Emery. I don't think we got any other songs. She's in the lead. Other porn names. Jessa Eppenstein. So, yeah, the whole clarinet. Is that a clarinet and cheers?

And I just realized that Is it a clarinet? It sounds kind of like an oboe. No, that's a voice singing. No, when they do the in-between scenes, they don't do the lyrics. There might be a clarinet. I think it's piano. If I could hear it, I could tell you right now.

The clarinet is a woodwind reeded instrument. I used to play the clarinet when I was a kid. Really? just for like a year i'm not very good oh like ferris bueller's the off never had one lesson like that's how i'd be but i used to play the saxophone and i could play it a little tiny bit but when we were in the like the school orchestra when there was a big song i just i wasn't blowing i was just puffing my cheeks out and moving my fingers because i knew i wasn't good enough and there's a concert and i'm like oh my parents are watching and i'm just there what if everyone did that i was the only saxophone as well

you can't hear him it made us our version of billy joel's for the longest time very awkward i feel like there's saxophone in that song I just picked that up I have no idea I don't know actually Billy Joel uses a lot of saxophone in the 80s you were confident so I believe that the longest time is just the doo-wop the Billy Joel used a lot of saxophone he's got like a saxophone player that still has concerts with him he's like an old bloke he's just like i survived the 80s saxophone yeah that is that is tough there was a lot of scrambling a saxophone in the 80s the saxophone players were like this will go on forever we're on every song yeah we didn't get any more songs but we got some like lyrics for possible songs

the first one is there is of course only one King Jim, but the bear and the sailor accompany him. Now Jack's coming out, personality unfurled. Let's all get excited. It's comment world. Thank you, Bernie Tolpin. That one's good. I like it.

It's like a lyric. We have another one. I believe we have another one from Tim Rice. This one says, what if Jack was one of us? Would he shag like one of us? Just a virgin on the bus trying to make his way home. Yeah. And here's one that I got.

Where's me phone? This one wasn't as lyrical. Jack, kill yourself. Kill yourself now. Kill yourself now. Very negative. How come those are in your notes? Without his phone phone he texted himself

it's just the time and the date that was from his son straight from the heart a couple of facts that we might have missed on the James Bond episode the double O signature and double O agents

double O signifies they have a license to kill i thought we said that yeah okay license to kill so it's like when you kill a person you go i thought that we said that we had that in the notes but all right thank you and then uh golden eye is a type of duck we said it was a we said uh it was the place that the guy wrote the yeah he was named after an ornithologist if you look up golden eyed duck it's like the classic mallard that makes sense because james bond was an ornithologist because one of the movies was going to be called mallard and then the difference between mi5 and mi6 mi5 is like domestic government stuff and mi5 is all

foreign affairs and what's mi? MI6 is foreign affairs. Remember, you didn't say that. You said MI5 is an MI5. I said MI5 and MI5. We're going to get more comments back. I can't go back to that comment, Jim. What did they say again? Jack, you upset me.

That's a different one. Blah, blah, blah. There are multiple submissions. Jack, I can smell you from here. Comment world. That was really hurt. I didn't write it. I'm just reading it.

He's reading it off his phone. I'm just letting them know it hurts. You still need a charge? Hey, can you guys stop texting Jim? I'm actually dyslexic. It actually says the word hack. Oh, that one actually hurts more. There was one comment I read that had the word dirigible in it that we didn't know.

Dirigible is actually a word for blimp. Or airship resentment. I'm telling you to stop being so fancy. I know. Why were we talking about that? I fucked a dirigible chick. It was something about traveling by dirigible, and we were asking what that word was. Thought it was dirigible.

That was aboriginal for blimp. They hadn't figured out boats, but they were all over the blimp technology. Kelly, people really like the cunt balloons that were behind you. If you want to talk about where you got them from. Yes. So badassballoonco.com or at badassballoonco on Instagram. This is amazing. We're not even doing ads.

Yeah. And someone said cunt balloon is Jim's new nickname. Cunt balloon. Mm-hmm. Okay. on Instagram. This is amazing. We're not even doing ads. Yeah. And someone said, Cunt Balloon is Jim's new nickname. Cunt Balloon? Mm-hmm. Okay. I'm all right with that. I don't know. I guess they were Cunt Balloons.

It's kind of fun. It sounds kind of funny. Yeah, I swallowed them and brought them into the country. That person's very creative. Yeah. I saw Cunt Balloons. It's Jim's new nickname.

It's basically how Jim does a theme song. Cunt Balloon. Yeah, you can make that nickname for any cunt tables computers cunt walls cunt cunt um someone commented that's the name of my panda i said has anyone ever mentioned how forrest sounds like a grown-up beavis he does someone someone said to me something they wrote to me and they said uh they said has anyone given you the nickname forrest grump yeah i saw that too and i'm like how is that in front of us forever i like that one forrest grump yeah i'll take it i was telling forrest earlier i

get like oddly uh protective when people talk shit about him so i like why because he's just so sensitive like he he's always crying about the bad comments, but I did like Forrest Grump. I don't mind Forrest Grump. That was funny. I don't mind Forrest Grump at all. Me and Jenny were like hamburgers and hot dogs. Peas and carrots.

I know, but I have to be grumpy. Goddamn Jenny. Jenny, do you have AIDS? don't live on my property i'm very grumpy why are you always leaving your heroin needles in the bed i told you that was terrible forrest gump in first that's forrest grump um someone did did ask their name was also Forrest but they decided to go by their middle name because they got so much shit when Forrest Gump came out

they asked if you had a hard time being Forrest their middle name was Fire did I get a lot of no not really people like the movie though but it is still that

it's been out so long and people still sometimes you're on a customer service call, and they're like, oh, like Forrest Gump. Yeah, yeah. Forrest also grew up in Florida. They didn't get the movie until 2005. We don't get movies. Everything in Florida.

We don't know what's going on there. What's going on? Which way do I wear my pants? He wasn't as embarrassed as his brother, Bath Salt. Bath Salt Shaw? Was Salt his middle name? Yeah. Bath Shaw.

No, his middle name was Sniffin. Bath Salt Sniffin Shaw. Bath Salt Sniffin Shaw. And his last name was S-U-R-E. It was like he was agreeing to do it. Well, if you're out there, bath salts, I'd love to meet you. I don't know if we can even explain what this one's about, but someone asked,

need an update? Did you did Kelly's mom? Did we do Kelly's mom? Did we did her? Did we did her? Did anyone have sex with her? No idea. Kelly's dad probably. Anybody have any idea what that's referring to? I've met Kelly's mom. Did you fuck her is the question you could be honest yeah as long as you made love i made love with your mother in uh 2018 so i'm your dad i don't know that thank you for letting

me know wait does your mom listen to the podcast yes oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Hello, Mrs. Zabilski. Sorry. She did mention. You got her name right and everything. She did mention it was lackluster. I'm respectful to parents. I fucked your mom. Sorry, Mrs. Zabilski. Sorry, Mrs. Zabilski.

It's hard. Sorry, we'll bring Kelly back in a reasonable hour. Sorry. People are still pissed about iron brew um someone sent us a link they said you only can get iron brew out of the because the glasses don't get them out of the plastic bottles or cans that they taste like shit and they sent us a link so i guess we know where to order them one of those iron brew purists you said you wanted to get some and try it last week there were did we order any or oh i thought that was jack order some now with the glass bottle ones i don't have an assistant so i can order my own fucking iron brew and someone said i haven't earned money since

february you want me to order my own iron brew i'm pro bono at the moment get it from petty cash someone said you need to try iron brew with spiced rum so maybe that's something we can also attempt um uh people always like to comment about my name jack hackett because it's based on my name's not based on it but there's a drunken priest called jack hackett father ted yeah father jack jack hackett yeah it's funny i watch him him clips. He's the old Jack. The old one that goes, Jed! Rob! Girls! Yeah, yeah. Girls!

It's a good show. It's a very good show. The fucking, the guy who played Father Ted and it died, I think in the third season, in the off season. They couldn't come back.

Look, I've heard rumors that cocaine was involved, but that could just be me being nasty. You were nasty to him? No no i used to be his coke dealer do you have any more comments yeah this last one uh i guess like a series of comments i don't need to read them off but jim was talking about how there aren't flocks of girls like having girls night going to the show and we're having a bunch of people saying that they do yeah they'd

be goers those birds hey those girls that get a girl's night out. They fucking go, let's go see Jim Jefferies. I did go to your show with- They're the same girls that go to strip clubs. Love them. I went to your show like nine or 10 months before I started working with you with one of my girlfriends. And that was the show. I think it might've been at the Ace, but that was when the Trump supporter tried to punch a woman in the middle of the show. Do you remember that?

Oh, yes. That was a fucking. Wait, explain that. There was just a guy stood up. I was doing a Trump gag. It's online about me going, let's see how bad shit can happen, blah, blah, blah. And then, like, I think it was a Mexican guy because he stood up and goes, I'm going to kill you.

I'm going to kill you. No, it was definitely a white guy. Oh, that's a different show. Yeah. That was Nokia, the guy, I'm going to kill you. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but you said something like. Oh something oh yeah i did a thing about trump and there was a guy behind that

the girl went woo and then the guy went fuck you and then the boyfriend stood up and then they he took a swing at the woman yeah and then he did it's hard to get back from that that's the thing about comedy hard to get back once a woman's punched there was definitely there were drinks thrown they were like six seats down for me one row up and i was like oh man and i remember because i said to the i said i said i'm really sorry but you all have to go yeah because there's nothing you could do you have to kick out the person that was punched you have to kick out the thing you have to get because it's like you can't you can't be on stage and and decipher what's happened you just go anyone involved has to go i think you you asked if there

were any trump supporters in the audience and one of the guys was like really rowdy cheering and the girl in front of him started like she like kind of booed him or whatever and he just like flipped the fuck out it was like what the that it escalated very quickly remember when we had a great time you remember when we went to see elton john and i guess there was a fight in the balcony and it was kind of like who fights at an Elton John concert? And it was happening. All we heard was, he's not gay! And it was a little bit of a disturbance.

And so Elton was like, ah, something's going on up there. And he kept trying to get back into it, but it was like, it was going on for like a minute. Like, blah, blah, blah. And he was just like, ah, okay, we'll just move. I just want to say something real quick. So Jim took me to see Elton John in Vegas. I wasn't his first choice.

He wanted to take a woman. But at the time. Didn't work out. Yeah, yeah. So he asked me if I wanted to go. It was me, you, and the DJ came with us, but he wasn't at the concert with us. We all went to Vegas.

DJ calls just went and gambled, yeah. Yeah. So we sat down, and then the audience was all older couples and gay couples, pretty much, was the audience. And we sat down and then the audience was all older couples and gay couples pretty much as the audience and we sat in between two gay couples there was a gay couple like right on the edge of the end of the aisle i'd been drinking yeah and there was another gay couple there so we sat down in the really tight seats and when we sat down you're like they're so tight like your hips were like if you're big like me and well jim too and you sat down and you knocked the guy's beer over next to us and spilled it it was a giant beer yeah about a 15 dollar beer yeah

and he was like at first he was like what the god you know you're just like oh you're trying not to get upset whatever and jim's like i'll buy you another beer but and he goes well and he was like upset and then he looks up and this is right after you had yelled at uh pierce morgan wait are you guys the guy that told pierce morgan to fuck off. He just goes, wait, are you the guy that told Piers Morgan to fuck off on television? And you're like, yeah, and he's like, yeah. And then he probably bought you a beer. Yeah, yeah, we hung out with him. We bought beers for all the time.

And so then, so Jim goes, all right, I'm gonna go get this guy a beer, whatever. They both walked out together, and when Jim was walking out, he goes, you stay right here, sweetheart, and he slapped me on the chest really hard like that, like hard, and then he walked away, and the gay couple over on this other side go are you okay like i was like oh you think we're

a couple i'm just an abusive friend all right let's start the show oh wait wait oh wait there's there's a story twice that you said you were to tell about your about your mom i guess is our guest is here okay all right let's start the show okay um let's introduce our guest guest time guest time get your guests here that's that's my new thing i'm gonna act like a paper boy from the 1950s every now and again we got guests we got papers i think it's gonna be a big hit i wanted to be like a german soldier that was like when he asked for papers was like papers you got your papers german you know the german's papers have you got your papers like all the nazis whenever they went through papers papers i'm glad you look up to these guys yeah but i would i would have one that was like a newsy for

the 1950s hey all you uh prisoners of war papers you got your papers they think they're just getting a newspaper but really they're being arrested that's how they catch them okay all right so let's try this again let's introduce our guest um please welcome to the i don't know about that podcast josh willis um hello josh hello i'm looking i'm looking at you is it josh or is that the name that elvis took when he didn't die okay so if uh if you're not old enough but i do have a question about elvis impersonators hold on if you're listening why are they all older than when elvis died there's no young elvis impersonators why don't we have a young elvis he's dressed like elvis presley that's what i wanted the people to know. You just started talking about Elvis like a crazy person.

And everyone impersonates Elvis as fat old Elvis. No one goes, I'm going to do young Elvis. I'm going to do the one where he just wore a nice shirt and pants and shaked his dick around. You know, he used to have like a, he used to have like, because they call him Elvis the pelvis, and they had to film him from the waist up. He used to tie a bit of string with a cork on the end of his dick, right?

So that when he swang, it looked like he had a big ass dick swinging around right and so they call him elvis the pelvis and then the ed sullen show they said no more from the waist down the american youth are getting too sexually uh whatever so they just they just did him from the top and he went like that so our guest is dressed like elvis just like elvis um and uh you this is a part of the podcast judging a book by its cover where you try to guess what our guest is an expert in um based on just looking at them you can ask yes or no questions are you an expert in elvis i am not you have quantum physics have just have just appeared when i quantum physics, quantum physics, you have math equations.

Quantum physics just appeared in the background. You look like what they put behind Stephen Hawking to flash him up a bit when he was giving a speech. When they were like, oh God, Stephen doesn't look very intelligent. Put some mathematical equations whizzing past him. So ask him some questions. Okay, so are you involved in mathematics?

I use mathematics in my day job, yes. In your day job? Oh, I want to know what his night job is. Oh, someone's up to something at night. You don't want to know? Okay, so. Well, I would guess it's. It involves a cork.

It involves a cork. Ah, so you're a gigolo. A little known thing that Elvis was a gigolo. A little known thing that Elvis was a gigolo. A little known thing. When he was like seven or eight, it wasn't, you know, when he was older, he was a musician. I don't think it's called a gigolo when you're seven. But it was the South.

Things were different. Okay, so you're an Elvis impersonator at night. During the day, you use mathematics. You're a maths teacher. Are you done asking us for no questions? No, that's a question. Are you a maths teacher? I'll do it like Jeopardy.

What is a maths teacher? I say maths. I don't say math because there is multiple numbers. Like you stupid Americans who go math like there's one equation. I say maths because I have multiple equations that I might want to do. We say fish, not fishes. No, I say fishes.

There's a lot of fishes over there. A lot of fish over there. No, I say fish. I say fish. But I do say Legos. Wrong. And you say Lego. Correct.

No, I say Legos. That's wrong. Who says Lego? It's Lego bricks. Yeah, everyone says Lego bricks. No, but I've never heard anybody say Lego bricks. No, America is for Jack right now. Legos is incorrect.

Legos is what Australians say, and you say Lego. And now we've got people writing, we say Lego at my house, in my house, in Woolloomooloo. I've legit never heard anybody say Lego bricks. I will remind you that you are in our country, Jim. I am? Wait a minute, I'm a citizen in both. It's more our country, Jim. I am. Wait a minute. I'm a citizen in both. It's more our country than yours. Yeah, but it's the immigrants like me

that made this country. Yeah, just like you. This country was formed on the backs of people like Jim. They gave her the railroads, Jim. When I came over and I was at Ellis Island and I remember

land of opportunity, America. And I've lost my accent, haven't I? Because I used to speak like this. I'm coming to America, and all I have is suitcase and a thousand pesos or yen. I had a thousand yen, and I talk like this. I was well-traveled. I was an Italian guy with a bag full of yen. Just happy draft freeze.

I changed it to Jim Because I wanted to be You know act like one of you boys And my Asian brother is now called Charlie Oh Good to know We were both adopted by African people And we were brought over here to Ellis Island

To escape the Holocaust In which country I don't know It's the I don't know that podcast Weekly questionable Asian reference. We have one every week. Most of them are cut out. I'm glad you said cut out without the accent. Anyway, so you use Matt.

You use Matt. You're a cashier. Are you a cashier? I'm not a cashier But I am in charge of some money I love how now you only ever ask one question You're in charge of the reserve bank Nope

You're in charge of the primary bank The reserve one The reserve bank is just sitting there If the primary bank fails And goes, come on I'm good at banking I've been standing on the sideline forever I if the primary bank fails and goes, come on, I'm good at banking. I've been standing on the sideline forever.

I'm the reserve bank. I'll give you a hint. What Josh is involved in is, has been in the news for many years now and is a relevant thing that we talk about. Oh, you're a white supremacist. Yes, yes, that is correct, Josh you might be i don't know you are dressed like elvis josh go ahead i don't remember any of the the memphis mafia called lebron josh you can go ahead and put the tiki torch in frame now okay all right um no i uh i'm not now or nor have i ever do I ever recall having been a white supremacist.

Yeah, no, no, no. They never remember, Josh. I'm a blackout drunk myself. I used to have an ex-girlfriend. Okay, I won't do that story. Anyway, carry on. I'll give you one more hint, then we'll talk to you. Josh just got back recently working in Greenland.

Oh, you're an expert in time what? I don't know what that means Greenwich meantime that's where time I got a hint wait there you go save the clim

climb it save the not many people know this but Oh. Save the clim. Ah. Climate. Save the clim. Now, not many people know this, but a cli is a small lizard in Australia that's endangered, and that's a sentence we have in Australia. Save the cli, mate. Save the cli, mate. Save the cli, mate. All right, so Josh is a climate scientist.

I thought we did real subjects on this show. a climate scientist um i thought we did real subjects on this show josh willis uh is a nasa climate scientist uh at nasa's jet propulsion laboratory he's the lead scientist for the satellites that measure global sea level rise from space and he's the principal investigator is that you in space or one of those planes that duck really quickly i'm still doing his introduction to him the principal investigator for nasa's airborne mission oceans melting greenland or or OMG for short. When he's not doing that, he does improv, makes short films, and occasionally appears as Climate

Elvis. Climate Elvis? You can find him on Facebook at facebook.com slash dot com. Facebook.com. It's a different website. The Climate Elvis video is not what you think on facebook.com.

You can find him on Facebook.com. You can find it at Facebook.com slash Climate Elvis or on Instagram and Twitter as at OMG NASA. All right. Welcome to the show, Josh Wallace. Thanks for being here. Thank you. Thank you very much. Are you an expert on climate change or are you an expert on just climate?

See, I was talking to Forrest about this the other day, right? So we had a nice little earthquake in LA last week and it was like an earthquake that started small. It's the first one I felt that ramped up a bit, that started small and then it went, ooh, at another level. And then we went, ooh, how many levels has it got? And I always forget what to do because Jason Whitehead was in the house. I was there with my fiance and we were sitting there and it went off and it went for so long that i i turned to them both and said

should we do something are we meant to go somewhere because i don't have a really good table to hide under or something like that and i was like oh whatever right it was like 12 30 at night or something like that anyway i was thinking about this so people who live in la for the majority uh left-wing democrat democratic people right who think republicans who don't believe in climate change are fucking idiots because climate change and i believe this as well is happening and we all eventually will not us but our children's children that's why i don't particularly care but uh our children our children's children will be dying from this. And we're like, you idiots.

We know this is happening, but you do nothing. Yet all of us liberal Democrats live in a town where we know there'll be a big one that will destroy a lot of stuff. And we're like, ah, you've got to live your life. We just sit around in a place that's inevitably gonna have an earthquake going what are you gonna do but there are natural disasters everywhere i would rather be in some earthquakes that do a little bit of damage every year than oh yeah i would say earthquake over hurricanes over tornadoes over flooding over tsunami yeah i would take any of them tsunamis are one of my top three fears irrationally because I'm not anywhere near the ocean.

Her second biggest fear is not being able to surf an 80-foot wave. So, Josh, thanks for being here. Yeah. I wanted to make sure we got all your credits out there because you are dressed like Elvis and we didn't want people to think. No, thank you for that. Because this is a subject we want people to take seriously. That's right. And you're fucking doing it dressed as elvis thanks mate thanks for uh if you're not listening if you're not watching you don't care if you're not listening why not

if you're not listening to this podcast why don't you write into us and tell us why you're not listening um all right joshua what we're gonna do i know you haven't spoken much yet but hang If y'all don't listen to this podcast, write into us and tell us why you're not listening. All right, Joshua, what we're going to do, I know you haven't spoken much yet, but hang tight. I'm going to ask him everything he thinks he knows about climate change. I'm going to prod him along with some questions. And then we're going to take some notes on his answers if you want to feel free. And then at the end, you're going to go back. You're going to grade him on zero through 10, 10 being the best on how well he did accuracy on his knowledge of climate change.

Kelly's going to grade him on confidence. I'm going to grade him on et before i start this i would like to say okay i'm a big believer in science right i believe scientists are the most important people in our society and they have since history has started they are the people who have led the way to where we are in all of this But I'll also say this. I'm not very good at science, nor do I understand it. I'm also a big believer in cars. Don't know how to build one. Believer in cars? I'm a big believer in them.

I think they're good work. Good work, car people. Solid work. I've enjoyed your business. But I don't suspect I will know anything about it but i am a big believer in climate change okay with little to no knowledge keeping this in mind for the confidence score as we discussed on our podcast last week we uh you got to leave it to the experts that's what you're doing i'll leave it to the experts okay all right so let's start uh what is climate change

jim uh it's a change in climate that is happening over time because of things that we have put into the environment, such as carbon stuff, smoke and shit, and CFCs that have caused problems with the ozone layer that's left the hole, which there is two holes in the ozone layer, one over Australia and one over the North Pole. And the UV rays are coming in and they're fucking getting in the hole and then they can't get out because they bounce in like if you throw a ball bearing in they get in through the hole and then they bounce around inside because they can't find

the fucking hole again right although the the hole in the ozone layer is actually getting smaller because we've stopped using as many cfc's such as styrofoam and uh refrigeration and hairspray stuff that had the cfc's in them that's why australia okay wait so the ozone hole is causing climate change it's it's not helping it's not helping things right it's not helping things i'll tell you another thing that's not helping things yeah me i'm not i'm not helping you whatsoever i have a tesla and i'm getting solar panels in my house soon i'll be off the grid completely but apart from that i also have a Tesla and I'm getting solar panels in my house soon. I'll be off the grid completely. But apart from that, I also have a Dodge Challenger,

which gets eight miles to the gallon. It's called balance. So between those two cars, I'm driving a nice Honda Civic. In between the two. What's the difference between climate change and global warming? Nothing. I thought those were the same things yeah I think I think they're the same things global warming and climate change now now the thing is there's things with climate change with the waters rising up because as we see there's the sort of the ice ice caps

right and what happens is because we see where? Behind him, he's behind Elvis. Josh, that's Josh. It looks like Elvis. I'll take it. Behind Elvis, there's all these snow, the icy bits, right? Which to your flat earth is the bits on the edge, right? And what happens to them is even if we raise by one degree, which a real measurement, 17 of your wacky fucking whatever's right even if we even if we raise just a little minute degree those things can't in the ecosystem they can't survive and they melt and they push into the ground and then the water levels rise up and

we lose florida so it's not all bad it's not all bad We have to work hard until Mar-a-Lago is gone. And then we have to back off. Back off. We got what we wanted. We got what we wanted. We get rid of fucking Florida. We don't need Florida anymore. Forrest Mums died.

That was the only person we cared about in Florida. Right? The rest of us. Do you have any other relatives there that we should give a shit about? I don't have any immediate. I have friends there still and family friends. Yeah, you can make new friends. You can't make new relatives.

What about Tom Brady and Gronk? I don't know who your fucking childhood TV programs that you watch. Football player. The Tom and Gronk show that you grew up. Now it's time for Tom and Gronk and their adventures. Okay. All right. If climate change or global warming is happening,

why does it still get really cold sometimes? Interesting question, Forrest. Now, why don't you tell me why you think it is, and I'll tell you whether you're right or wrong. Okay. Next question. I do this with my son all the time. He's like, what's four plus eight?

And I'm going, hmm, tell me. Do scientists agree on climate change? 95% of them. Most. And then there's those stupid Republicans that are like, I'm a scientist and I don't believe in global changing. And if you want a hair

transplant, come down to my clinic. Those ones. There's the wacky ones that trump employs who don't but the most of them do you've never seen the hair transplant ones i got mine from a guy who really didn't know about climate change what what does nasa have to do with climate change they're causing a lot of it with their big ass fucking rockets they put a lot of a lot of shit with their big-ass fucking rockets. They put a lot of shit in the air. Hey, Jack, give me another drink.

Come on, come on. Be a good boy. Be a good boy. Be a good boy. Be a good boy. Get out of your dream. Causing with rockets. Anything else?

Are they helping? They're helping in the same way they help all the time. You know, NASA. Oh, what have you done? We've sent John Glenn in the air to find out the effects on old people in space. We're NASA. We're fucking helping elvis elvis works for nasa though i know he does and i'm giving him some some truth that he needs to hear what if he doesn't know of course nasa's helping nasa's doing things like this oh this is no good oh we'll put this little thing in space and see if that changes and then they they're up there patching up the hole in the ozone layer as we speak with uh with fucking asbestos what are

what is the greenhouse effect the greenhouse effect is what i said with the the the solar rays coming in and then all the all the the, the, the, the smoke and the stuff coming from factories and all types of stuff. And from our cars, from emissions, from our cars, and it's staying in there and staying inside our environment. And it's bashing around and it's making everything warmer. And that's why sometimes it's not, it's not a change in temperature events. Like you're still going to have like storm again,

snow again and all those type of all the you get all the you get pour it into the cup jack crossed on a bike anyway so so so you you get the one you get the one that uh yeah it's it's everything's getting warmer in the same way that you keep plants inside a greenhouse with the glass thing so you can grow tomatoes. Tomato again. I'm on fire today. I could fucking lecture. I'm in a good mood. It does feel like it's that dark.

My sense of humor really depends on my mood. You don't want to come on a moody day. What's the difference between weather and climate? Weather is things like wind and storms all that type of stuff and climate is temperature i just did the thing where i put my tongue under my lip yeah to uh signal to forrest that he's an idiot yeah what an idiot i just asked the question forrest i know he's all pious right now and he's sitting there going i I'm a scientist of manatees, but you don't know.

You don't know. I'll listen to fucking Elvis before you. Carry on. Yeah, you should. You should. He's a NASA scientist. He works for NASA at the Jeffery Paulson Laboratory. Forrest is this close to going to NASA,

but they didn't have a suit big enough. But now you've lost all the weight. You can be NASA boy. Okay. Come visit me after the pandemic. I'll give a tour all right forrest not not you jim yeah you blew it elvis does not like you yeah we'll see we'll see about your your upcoming answers so maybe you can get back well aren't i somebody that you need to teach forest already knows this is the problem with you fucking liberals sitting in your ivory towers where you just want to educate you

preaching to the choir why don't you bring someone over like me a fucking moron but you're too posh um what which measurement is more accurate taking Earth's surface temperature from the ground or from space? Yes. Okay. No, no, taking from space, obviously, is from space. Obviously. Obviously, because taking measurements from the ground. What are you going to measure from the ground, you idiot? It's a space job, if ever I fucking heard one.

Has the Earth continued to warm since 1998? This sounds like a good guess. Yes, yes, it has. Should have probably worded that differently but in in 1997 it was on the way down it was freezing i remember i just started college and i was like oh the place is getting cold it's getting so cold little nippy outside mind you that's the year i moved to britain so things did change i had moved to England. I was like, Jesus, it's colder than it used to be in Australia. Here we go. What is carbon neutrality?

That is the amount of carbon that we're allowed to put into this. Oh, carbon's the greenhouse effect. That's the fucking thing I was looking for. You said that. It's the amount of carbon that we can put in without causing any trouble. It's the rate that we go, all right, we can have... I don't know. Is everyone else successful?

Because I'm just going to throw out something. It's saying to society, we're all just allowed three cars each. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, that made me look like an asshole. Of course, I only have two cars. You could have three cars and they don't have to be expensive. No, no.

Yeah, because you drive one at a time. Carbon neutrality. Fucking hell, Forrest. Which is a bigger methane source? Cow belching or cow flatulence? The flatulence, the methane. The methane. Is it from belching or flatulence?

Flatulence. Okay. It's the farting. Is that really how you pronounce methane? Methane. Methane? What is this, Game of Thrones? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It's immigrants like me that fucking built this country. Me and Corner Boy, without us, what would be getting done? Nothing. Did someone feed him today? Did they feed him? If all of the earth's ice. He just went.

He was wearing a Taco Bell t-shirt. Are you wearing a Taco Bell t-shirt? Super on brand. It's like when I wear my meat pie t-shirt. We got a couple more questions, Josh, and we're going to get you in here. If all of the Earth's ice melts and flows into the ocean, what would happen to the planet's rotation?

Okay, first of all, people with the ice melting, they think that the water levels won't rise because they go, it's an equal thing. But what happens is that... Wait a minute. I'm going to get to it. I'm going to get to it. This will feed that.

No, I wanted to understand what you said. When you have a full glass of full drink right up to the rim, and you have ice cubes and stuff like that, and they're sitting above the water, when they melt, it will go over the edge of the cup, right? What was the question? If the Earth's ice melts and flows into the ocean, what happens to the planet's rotation?

We spin four times quicker. And we all fly off like we're in one of those rides at Luna Park where we all fucking shoot off the side, and then we're stuck to the ozone level, just fucking hanging on like this. This is a bit wild. Okay. Accurate.

fucking hanging on like this guy this is a bit wild okay accurate um and so when do you think is are we past the point of no return with climate change okay this is a thing that i will say for the people who don't believe in climate change i've been hearing since i was a child five more years we're past the two and then they keep on expanding it i'm gonna say no we've got 10 more years before we make drastic changes blah blah blah blah i don't think we will get we i don't think we'll fix it i think we will get past the point of no return uh but i don't i believe we're very close to the point of no return and how do you haven't hit it yet and how do you fix it uh you have to vote people you have to vote there's an election coming you gotta get out and vote okay vote elvis

all right um josh willis thank you slash elvis i know i gotta vote thank you but that's half a point that's half a point because i am right i am right i am right uh on a scale of zero through ten ten being the best how accurate were jim's answers on climate change oh I would give him a solid eight. Wow! Really? Thank you very much. Even the thing where we're flying off the earth? Maybe lower on that one. He understands comedy.

Confidence, Kelly. I was assuming I was going to go four, but then you came raging back with maybe too much confidence. I think you were like 12 on confidence. Whoa, breaking the scale. Thank you for that. I knew I was going to get that. That confidence works, people.

I'm amazed you didn't give me more. For et cetera, I'm going to give you quite a bit. I'm going to do everything else like, oh, my brother Scott. Oh, so you didn't give me enough? Nobody knows your brother Scott. I know, but they'll know him through this. And Scott will be watching this right now and he'll go, oh, that's

a good impersonation. I've met him and I don't feel like I remember it. It's a good impersonation. I don't remember him doing that. I need to see more of it. My son even does that. My son goes, he goes,

Hey dad, Hey dad, I'll be an uncle Scott. I'll be an uncle Scott. I was doing this at Scott's wedding and people were like, like Scott was like, stop it. You're upsetting people.

You're upsetting people. Why the fuck do you want to upset people? It's my fucking wedding day. My wedding day. And right now he's listening to it right now going, I don't like that i don't sound like that does he listen oh yeah yeah yeah very supportive scott he listens on the day wow he got every james bond question he's a joke i'm a james bond fanatic i know james bond he's michael cain now your brother okay we gotta move on i'll tell you i'll tell you off the rails climate

change growing up in england we didn't have much change the only change we had was in our pocket and it wasn't enough to feed the family anyway that was michael k so for etc pretty good for etc i'm giving you a grade of quantum i've become the radio dj that robert williams was playing twice now this whole time because that was the second time he's about the man my other brother keep talking over jim my other brother danny until he realizes his favorite thing is forest getting angry i'm doing that for you Danny he listens as well right now you just the third time you've talked over me Danny goes

the bit the bit that's gold is when Forrest wants to punch her that was for you Danny and then Scott's like how's Danny doing I better talk to Danny all right um all right Scott's welcome to come to jpl anytime this episode is specifically for jim's brothers the jpl jet propulsion laboratory oh i thought that was like a boy from the 90s we're jpl and we're gonna do uh i asked jim um jpl's gonna to rock you. What is climate change? He said a lot of things. Overtime, environment, CFCs, carbon, ozone layer.

Can you just explain to us what climate change is for people that might not know? Because I don't think some people do. Yeah, yeah. Well, climate change, he got most of it right, except the ozone hole. I mean, the ozone hole is sort of a different problem. most of it right, except the ozone hole. I mean, the ozone hole is sort of a different problem, but climate change comes from when we add carbon dioxide to the atmosphere, it traps extra heat, and it warms up the earth. And this disrupts the climate. It doesn't just warm up, it also causes sea level rise, causes storms to get more intense, it causes dry places to get drier and wet places

to get wetter. it's basically global climate havoc climate change is the only way i've made a few women come i was waiting for that i was waiting for like a hey-o dry places to get wetter you see because it turns out spitting on your palm and slapping on their cunt doesn't work all the time holy crap hell. Holy crap. Is my NBC sitcom happening or not? Not if you keep talking like this. Hold on. That scene has to get cut first. Hold on.

I'm getting a word in here. No. Oh, Kelly's funny. Okay. He said the ozone hole isn't part of climate change. Well, actually, he was right. It does actually make some of the effects of climate change worse. So it's not helping. It's not helping. It's definitely not helping.

Was I right when I said Australia and the North Pole? Yeah, the big one's over the South Pole and over Antarctica. But it was so big that it it did reach parts of Australia for a while but it is shrinking now yeah but global warming is getting to be way bigger effect than the ozone hole ever was right yeah but that was the big thing when I was a kid I'll tell you what when you were but this is off subject this never happens I'll tell you I'll tell you what I'll tell you what science does wrong, right? They go on about things and then they stop talking about it.

So my mother, when I was young, had a bad back. She had a terrible bad back and I thought she was almost near, she had a slipped disc and I thought she was so close to being in a wheelchair. Then she got diabetes and she started injecting insulin in front of people. That was a big thing. She'd lift up her shirt like like I have to have the insulin. And we stopped, we stopped hearing about the bad back.

Right. And then the last two years of her life, we, she had Parkinson's. We stopped hearing about the fucking diabetes. We're only cancer away from not hearing about the Parkinson's. You know what I mean? So when I was a kid, you guys were obsessed.

We're environmentalists. We're obsessed with, Oh, the Amazon, the Amazon, we're losing a football field a day. And I'll just with, oh, the Amazon, the Amazon. We're losing a football field a day. I haven't heard about the fucking Amazon for years. And then came the ozone layer.

Oh, the ozone layer, the ozone. Oh, fuck off. The Amazon's fine. Anyway, so the ozone layer happens. And oh, my God, the ozone layer. And then global warming happens. And I stopped hearing about the fucking ozone layer. You are this close to

having a whole bunch of gorillas coming and killing us well we don't have to hear about global warming gorilla stampede you're a gorilla stampede away from being away from a job my friend so so why don't we hear about the ozone layer because you just said it wasn't that or the amazon amazon do we was the amazon fine well sure No, no. The Amazon's definitely not fine. And it's contributing to global warming because they're cutting down trees and burning them. They keep on saying a football field a day. A football field a day. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. How many fucking football fields are there? That was the 1980s. It should be done by now. Football fields. How small do you think the Amazon is? How many days do you think there are in a year?

365. That's 322 are in a year? 365. That's 322 football fields a year. Oh, yeah. Australian calendar. Do you know what I'm saying? That's at least one acre, right? A year. And we still have Amazon.

Yeah, it's big. In fact, Amazon's more profitable than it's ever been. Amazon's in its prime right now. If it's so bad, why would you name a company after it? Let him explain. Let him explain. Shut up. Buy all your needs at Holocaust.com.

Let him explain. Well, that was such a stunning display of mathematical prowess. I put the equations back up. But yeah, the Amazon is really big, and it's going to take decades. Is that scientist talk? The Amazon's really big? Okay.

The Amazon is so big that every year enough rain falls in the Amazon to make global sea level go down by a measurable amount. Oh, that's nice. Wait, you should do that again. Say the Amazon's so big, and then we'll say, how big is it? Yeah, okay. The Amazon is so big. How big is it?

How big is it? It's so big that when it rains in the Amazon, global sea level goes down. Wow. That's good. There you go. That was impressive the third time around, man. I could do that with any landmass Africa is so big How big is it?

When there's enough rainfall to cover all of it The sea levels go up Australia is so big How big is it? It's a lot of fun to travel So do you have any other rebuttal to jim's science oh oh well yeah you know i mean look uh rebuttal warming's worse is a term for when you have global warming's worse you just said right sorry jim doesn't normally heckle the experts

he's wearing an elvis come and say hey he's wearing an elvis happen how dare anyone come on the show just like elvis and go they didn't take me seriously you at the beginning said you believe climate change is happening you like science and everything you've said since then has been anti-science devil's advocate okay that's okay joe i appreciate we need we need we need the devil's advocate because we're not the real problem with science is a newspaper explaining it the real problem is what because we're not very good at explaining it okay i'm gonna shut up explain it yeah because often you're not gonna shut up you know you're not gonna shut up

often in the comments people go like this they go jim doesn't let the expert because you know you haven't let him speak i'm about to do it i'm introducing a time you've interrupted him 10 times you're juicing a time you've interrupted him 10 times and i guarantee you're gonna interrupt him again your math's no good 10 times 15 or 16 or something all right josh go ahead. I'm trying to talk to you, you fucking idiot. Should we go back to the math? All right, let's give you a question. So Jim said, I asked him what the difference between climate change and global warming is. He said, same thing.

Is that accurate? Well, you know, actually, I use that answer a lot, too. That's one of the reasons I gave you the eight instead of the four. Because I like that answer. I'd like to say thank you, but it'll upset Forrest. Yeah, because look, we talk about climate change and that sort of encompasses all these other things like sea level rise and ice melting and the storms getting worse. But the reason that's all happening is because the whole planet is heating up. And that's what global warming is.

And so it's driving the climate change so they are very much the same thing and we ought to be able to talk about both there's no rule against just talking about one or the other okay and i asked them do scientists agree on climate change you said 95 agree and five percent are republicans and hair transplants and stuff yeah right i would say the good ones agree yeah yeah and what but is it all scientists or what's the what is there is jim right with 95 you can talk now jim i don't want to upset anyone comment world's gonna blow up next week all this carbon that's coming out of your mouth. Yeah, it's $99.95.

Look, all serious climate scientists agree that people are changing the Earth's climate. What about the funny climate scientists? Well, you know, they're trying to be funny. So do you guys get together and berate the 1%? What do you guys do? Yeah, we pick on them. Yeah, it's always good to bully up on the odd one out that's right go to your climate conventions and go

fucking frank over there oh nothing's wrong nothing's wrong your wife's fat yeah it is you know people don't know this about scientists but we are pretty mean to each other we you know yeah we criticize each other's work all the time. It's part of being a scientist is to beat up on your colleagues. Isn't it funny because you were all bullied in school and now you get to turn it around? Exactly. Exactly, yeah.

I asked Jim what NASA has to do with climate change. He said rockets are contributing to it. I watched the Challenger thing. What did you do there? The O-rings. Should have fixed them. All you've got to do is get a thicker O-ring, get a bit more rubber in there,

and you wouldn't have killed a schoolteacher, you bastard. If only you would have had one of the good immigrants there helping. All you needed was that stuff you have on a jar that you preserve something, that little ring, or under a gross lager. Yeah, it's best to MacGyver a rocket to go to space. Yeah, on a gross lager, when you put the seal down, you've got that little rubber ring.

Put one of them in there. There you go. Problem solved. When I was a kid, the big joke was, what does NASA stand for? Need another seven astronauts. We laughed. We were cruel. We were cruel, nasty children.

I remember that joke. I remember that one. So what is NASA doing in respect to climate change? Well, NASA actually studies the Earth almost as much or more than outer space and distant planets and stuff like that. So NASA has a huge budget for just looking back at the Earth and trying to understand what's happening on it. And right now, climate change is the biggest thing that's happening.

So we spend a lot of resources studying the problem. What else do you study if that's the biggest thing? What's your second biggest thing? Well, there's space exploration, which is a huge part of the budget so just sending people up into space um there's a lot of technology when are you going back to the moon when are you going back to the moon and i don't know it's not my it's not my decision you did it in the fucking 60s and you haven't done it since i should i should probably at this point say that i am not an official nasa spokesperson for of those things. I thought that was an official outfit.

I'm here completely of my own volition. I thought that was an official outfit. Wouldn't that be good? Because you could do that with the space outfits if you bedazzle them a bit. If you bedazzle them a bit, we're all watching. And all these astronauts are going up as Elvis. And it's good for the launch off.

Dun, dun, pum, pum, pum, pum, pum, pum. Elvis did that at the beginning of his concerts. up as Elvis. And it's good for the launch off. Elvis did that at the beginning of his concerts. When no one else can understand me, when everything I did is wrong. That was me, not Elvis. We didn't put a recording in. I'm that good. That was amazing. Thank you. I agree. I think NASA needs more sequence. For sure. Yeah, amazing. Thank you. I agree. I think NASA needs more sequence for sure.

Yeah, or a sequence of events, sure. We should talk tomorrow, Joe. Okay. I'm going to shut up. One day I'll have my own podcast and then you'll hear from me. We're going to get lots of good comments for Forrest on this podcast. Yeah. My favorite part is I think that people think that Forrest is just like some random guy you employ.

And they're like, why does he talk to him like that? Like, what the fuck? They don't know that me and Forrest are friends. After the podcast, they think like we go, and thank you. Good night. And then Forrest goes, you talk to him now. We clock out like, all right. See you next week, boss. goes you talk to your man we clock out like all right see it like the the rooster and the

the rooster was foghorn foghorn i could remember his name it was a catchy name that we could all remember foghorn leghorn jesus christ looney tunes i asked him about weather versus climate. He said, weather is wind and storms, climate's temperature, and called me an idiot. Besides the idiot part. I was right on one of those things. Well, temperature, weather is really the day-to-day changes in the temperature and the wind and the rain.

And the climate is really what's happening over the long term. So we often say climate is what you expect and weather is what you get. Climate is what you expect and weather is what you get. I'm going to put that in my marriage vows. How's that going to work in your marriage vows i'm not gonna work in your marriage well i'm gonna go when i met you climate is what i expect and weather is what you'll get yeah you say it like yeah you expect things to be like yeah like things like you know you have a little storm coming yeah and you'll be in trouble whether you like it or not

You have a little storm coming. Yeah, and you'll be in trouble whether you like it or not. Greenhouse effect, did he get that right? I think he did. The solar gets trapped in there in the earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The carbon is what traps it. But yeah, it's carbon dioxide.

It traps the heat from the sun and it warms up the planet. And I kind of mess this up. There's some tomato stuff in there too, right? Tomato get in. Yeah. Tomato get in. Tomato get in. I kind of messed this up i asked them has the world thing earth been getting warmer since 1998 like as if i was no

but so we've had increasing temperatures every year since 1998 on average is that yeah you know it's it's uh you know some years like 98 is always one that the climate deniers pick on because there was a big el nino and And when we have an El Nino, the whole earth is just a little bit warmer for a year. So that happened. There was this big spike and then it kind of came back down. But the long-term trend is still towards warming. Why is it named El Nino?

Mexican scientists figured that out? It's actually the Peruvian fishermen uh noticed that the water temperatures got warm around christmas right so your whole job is based on peruvian fishermen exactly that's right yeah some peruvian fishermen said this it must be true well i love cevitre so that's yes there you go stop speaking italian um i mentioned greenland i meant to ask you this jim do you know what nasa's omg mission is it's the oh my god mission yeah obviously um it's when they went into space the first time people are like oh my god we're in space oh my god where are we that's mental oh my god yesterday i was at the mall now i'm in space um i like the girls from the 1990s which are clueless so i i mentioned that

uh that josh just got back from greenland can you talk about why you're in greenland and what the omg mission is yeah yeah so omg uh stands for oceans melting greenland and uh it OMG mission is? Yeah, yeah. So OMG stands for Oceans Melting Greenland. And it's a five-year mission that I run that is using airplanes to try and measure the oceans around Greenland and see how much the water is eating away at the ice there. And how's it doing? Great? I don't know, sir. Everything's okay. It's not cut for greenland yeah um yeah and so this is actually this is this was my plane and uh this was an iceberg that we flew past

and it was so tall it actually cast a shadow on the plane it blotted out the sun so it was a huge and so what do you guys do you know hills can do that what do you guys like how do you measure it there like what do you do what's what's the process so what what we do is we fly around in this old uh dc3 airplane and we drop these cylinders out of the airplane and they go in the water and they they kind of split into two parts and one part stays at the surface and it radios the data back to the plane. And the other part falls down on a tiny thin wire, and it measures the temperature and the saltiness of the water

all the way down to the seafloor. So we basically get a profile of how warm the ocean is, not just at the surface, but all the way down to the seafloor. And we do that 200 or 300 times all the way around Greenland. Right. And what would happen if you did it 198 times? Would there be a problem? Would you not be able to recognize what's going on?

Can you put the equations back up, please? We're talking about math. Does it need to be 200 or 300 times? Yeah, well, Greenland's a big place. And there's 200 or 300 glaciers, kind of depending on how you count. Wow, more than the people. You know, almost all of them are touching the water. So even though we think of Greenland as a big block of ice melting from the hot air,

it's actually the ice is sitting in the water and it's melting from below as well. So that's what we're trying to figure out. What happens to the probes after you're done with them? So the probes are, most of the probes we drop are expendable they're one-time use yeah so all the parts at the surface they eventually sink and they fall to the sea floor and most of it's made of metal which dissolves over time and then the rest gets covered in sediment wait wait wait go back go back what is this metal that dissolves over time i've've never left me car out for two weeks and go, ah, fuck me, car dissolved.

Have you parked your car at the bottom of the ocean? Put it in salt water and see what happens. Oh, yeah, salt water. They don't park it in salt water. Why is the Titanic still there? It's not all there. It's melting. I mean, it's taking its sweet fucking time.

Well, these pros aren't quite as thick as the Titanic's melting. I mean, it's taking its sweet fucking time. Well, these probes aren't quite as thick as the Titanic's hull. Maybe the water level's arriving because of all your fucking probes. You put 10,000 probes down, the water levels went up. I asked Jim about cows and their contribution to global warming, which is a bigger methane source, belching or farting? He said farting. Do you know anything about that? Actually, it's belching because cows, they have the little second stomach or whatever. Not the fucking cows, are they?

Ruminate the food. That's Jim's standard answer on this thing when he gets it wrong. Not the ones I know. And is that really because, you know, there's that documentary about like cows are the largest contributing source to or at least with methane and climate change. So arguably, when I have a hamburger, I'm helping the environment out because I'm getting rid of cow. That's my argument. Yeah. But then you continue to burp into the microphone. So it's like the transit property.

I'm not releasing any carbon. Every time I burp, if semen causes trouble. So is that, are cows the largest source or is it really? I don't know about that. Bulls are larger. They're significant. They're a significant source of methane. And methane's another important greenhouse gas.

So if we eliminated all cows, if we had a cow, a cost, right? We killed all the cows. Cow cost. It took me a second. Had a great big barbecue. Would the environment be better if we got rid of all the cows? That's a serious question. If we got rid of cows, would the environment be better?

Well, yeah. If we got rid of all that's a serious question. If we got rid of cows, would the environment be better? Well, yeah. I mean, there's a huge, you know, industry farming cattle and growing them. And it does contribute to methane production. And it uses a lot of water and energy to grow that meat. What about sheep? So making it smaller. Is sheep farting too much? Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know. There's not as many. So, you know, they're smaller. Is sheep farting too much? Yeah, that's a good question.

I don't know. There's not as many. So, you know, they're smaller. Are you a vegetarian? That was a sheep farting. Oh, got it. Oh, my God. Josh, are you a vegetarian?

I'm not. I'm not. But I eat way less meat than I used to. He's just like Elvis. Are you a vegetarian? I'll have a Beyond Burger. That's right. I make a Beyond Burger every now and then.

I asked Jim, I said, if all of the Earth's ice melts and flows into the ocean, what would happen to the planet's rotation? He said it would speed up by four times and people would be flung off into the ozone, stuck against the ozone. Fact. Is that true? That was the one he got perfect. This is why I got an 8 out of 10, bitch. What's that? Much as I enjoyed that answer, no, that one's

definitely not true. Dang. Does that affect the Earth's rotation? It does, actually. It slows down. But it's very small. We can measure it, but you wouldn't feel it. Nobody's gonna fly off. That's the same thing I say about my penis. We can measure it, but you wouldn't feel it

and it doesn't work on a standard ruler we need some type of microscopic but hold on what's smaller than a millimeter my penis hold on so if it slows the earth's rotation down so we could slow the earth's rotation down and that would affect time and calendars oh that's good i need more time oh it's not it's it's way too small for that it's way too small for that it wouldn't be it wouldn't be way less than like seconds per year oh that's very small i have to reset me a little bit um and then uh carbon neutrality jim what did you say here i don't know it's a long time ago i can't even read my own handwriting i'm drinking who knows um well just explain to us what carbon neutrality is i said something funny i remember it i think it was something about cars and if

was that when you were saying you drive a tesla and a challenger no that was earlier on oh yeah oh well if only we had four other people in the room to check these i wrote it down i think it was when you say you drive you drive if you drive one car at a time or something like that yeah you have less cars yeah let's go yeah well it's just what it means is that you do something to offset the carbon you put in the atmosphere so if you burn a bunch of gas then you plant a bunch of trees oh that's a lot of bullshit that's a load of rubbish i remember 10 years ago the airlines were obsessed with that if you would like to offset your carbon footprint please donate money go fuck yourself you go do that i'm fucking i'm flying to fucking denver for a gig. I genuinely can't tell if Jim believes in climate change or not.

Seems like he supports it. I believe in climate change, but I also believe in killing future generations. I asked Jim if we're past the point of no return. He says we have 10 more years to fix shit. Is that true?

I've heard that too. Sometimes people say, we can't do anything about it, so we might as well go forward. shit is that true like can like some i've heard that too like sometimes people say you know we can't do anything about it so we might as well go forward or you know where do what do you think from where you're standing well it's it's the fact is that that there's a certain amount of warming and sea level rise and climate change that we're stuck with that we're not going to get rid of the the question is how bad do you want it to be? So if we act very quickly and we try and avoid the worst consequences, then, you know, and we're able to really change our behavior in the next 10 years, then we might avoid some of the worst

consequences. But there's going to be more sea level rise and warming. Are you terrified or are you just like, what are you going to do? scientists and warming are you terrified or are you just like what are you gonna do well it's it's a bit of both i mean it's funny as a scientist you're kind of it it's it's a good time to be a climate scientist because stuff's going on i mean you can just make up shit and upset republicans exactly that's right got job security right now like the birds are gonna fall from the sky they're gonna fall in the ocean ocean Ocean levels are going to rise. You can be pro-abortion. Like, don't have an abortion because if you have a baby,

we'll fall in the ocean. Everything's falling in the ocean. And I asked Jim how to fix it. He said vote. But I mean, I know it's such a- That's not a bad answer, though. That's not a bad answer. It's not. No.

No, it's not. Matter of fact, that's my favorite answer i i use that answer all the time it's the most important thing you can do it's more important than planting a tree or driving a tesla for sure oh yeah because you know the people running the epa right now are fucking nightmares can i say something about trees that's a bit controversial um the thing about trees is they go we're losing trees we're losing trees whatever they're fucking everywhere it's a bad design this planet it's a bad design everywhere i walk there's a fucking tree in me way you know i got trees in me backyard i had one of them that died i had to

spend a thousand bucks to fucking get it removed this big ass fucking tree when god the mythical creature of god when he created the earth and he said we need this many trees too many trees each town should have seven each each each city should have maybe 46 right seven in a town 46 trees too many what about shrubs and flowers and stuff like that oh no love love he talks about the earth the earth design as if it's like a poorly designed Ikea. Sim City. Too many fucking trees. We all love flowers, and the bees need the flowers, but trees, too many.

We need trees, though. And this myth that children climb them. My son's seven. He's never climbed fucking one. I climbed trees when I was little. Yeah, all the time. Yeah, and those trees are dead now because of that. But wait, how would we breathe without trees?

Well, we can't. That's why it's a bad design. We need this many trees. Too many trees. Enough of the trees. Everyone's like, oh, there's not enough trees. Everywhere I look, there's fucking trees. What about the food that comes from trees?

I look down, fucking trees upon trees upon trees. Enough's fucking trees what about the food that comes in airplane i look down fucking trees upon trees upon trees enough with the trees what about the food that comes from trees oh what what is things that grow off trees that we can eat you fucking moron yeah lots of things grow on trees apples i can't think of anything elseimes you got me with oranges berries, cranberries just pretty much fruits, vegetables berries growing trees, I thought they were a sea growing creature I understand conspiracy theorists now because I've seen the passion here

okay a couple things before I wrap this up one is we want to get a dinner party fact from you this is a fact that we give to our listeners, our audience, so that they can impress people at parties with their knowledge of their subject. So climate change, if somebody was talking about that at a party, what would you tell them? Okay, so over 90% of the heat that's trapped by the greenhouse gases

is in the oceans. So when we think about global warming you know we think about the air but really it's ocean warming so it's those farting crocodiles how does the heat get caught in the ocean this is a real question is this because of things that we do in boats or is this because the octopuses are playing up again nope it's because the oceans are two thirds of the planet and uh the what yeah that's right are they really is it two thirds yeah yeah more than two thirds yeah it's like 70 percent oh i just thought some people say we should have four six yeah we should four six yeah man i got it yeah we shouldn't have two thirds yeah i got it yeah we got it

we shouldn't have called it yeah arthur c clark said we shouldn't have called it uh we shouldn't have called it... Yeah, Arthur C. Clarke said we shouldn't have called it Earth. We should have called it ocean because it's mostly ocean. He was a fun guy. And also, yeah. John C. Reilly. So when the oceans are warming and it affects all the weather, and obviously hurricanes is a big one that the oceans affect and so forth. Yeah, for sure.

And they're just the main storage for all the heat. and like obviously hurricanes is a big one that the oceans affect and so forth yeah for sure and they're just the main storage for all the heat you know we talk about the the greenhouse effect trapping the heat well almost all of it's going in the oceans and the air is just warming up because the oceans are warming what the oceans are really the main driver of climate change what can we do in the immediate future to stop it like what can we really do as like an individual because i try to buy things that are ethical and i try to drive less and you know i can't change my i hear that flying is worse than driving and i can't change that because of my career i have to fly everywhere what can all of us as an individual do to make a real change just a side note jim

lives about six blocks away from here he drove here kelly you can fuck off you can fuck off i live four blocks away maths i try my best it's a hot day the climate's been going up you want me to fucking walk out there i'd be out there farting like a fucking beast did you drive it's a really short commute that doesn't matter at least he didn't drive 50 miles exactly that's why i had the studio quick that's climate change that's why we did get this um no no what what meaningful thing can individuals do? Yeah. So, well, of course, you know, I think you said it earlier. It's vote.

Because the short answer is you can't fix it by yourself. We have to fix it together and we have to have policies that help us do it. Because as long as it's profitable to make the climate hotter, we're going to keep doing it. And the only way to make it not profitable is to pass laws and regulations. So it's got to come from government. And the only way to get that to change is for us to change it. All right.

But what do we actually do? Voting, like should I just stop driving as much? Or should I... Well, yeah, you should do all those things still. Or should I stop forest and swimming? Yeah. That's my joke. The jokes that you keep doing about the ocean thing,

that's my joke from my stand-up. That's the wild joke. Yeah, I know. You've stolen it three times now, and one of them was to call me fat. He took my joke. He thinks that he owns all fat things. I own that joke.

It's recorded on television. I mean, the short answer is we have to move to to different fuels and there's all kinds of ways to do that like big grass fields or where do we know fuel yeah oh fuel fuel fuel i don't have to move to a different field that freed up my way well you can but you know but yeah we have to move to a different field. That freed up my week. Well, you can, but, you know. But yeah, we have to change fuel sources. And that's going to require the governments to help us out. I mean, it's the only way. What car do you drive? I drive a hybrid Lexus.

Ah, good lad, good lad. The NASA car. Well, I work from home a lot, too. We have a clip of you as Elvis singing about climate change. Oh. I thought we might play a little bit of that real quick. Yeah. You guys have that queued up there? I'm just a hunk of hunk of burning fuel.

Yeah, well, that might be it. I'm just a hunk of hunk of burning fuel. Here we go. Here we go. Climate Elvis. Sunday on Sundayay high 73 monday rain was pouring down on me tuesday was cold i almost froze my toes but what's it gonna be next week who knows that's weather oh that's the weather you got but you take a boost your weather and averages together, and you're doing the climate rock. Our climate is the average of the weather you see.

The critters and plants all know where to be. Our cactus can't live in the tropical rain. And polar bears don't dig my rain. That's climate. All right. So that was climate. I've got to be honest. That took up a lot of electricity to film that.

It did. It did. I think it was pretty good. It did, yeah. Pretty good as all of us thought. Oh, thank you. Yeah. so that was climate I gotta be honest that took up a lot of electricity to film that it did it did I think it was pretty good it did yeah pretty good as Elvis oh thank you thank you thank you very much just pretty good

not great I'll take it did Elvis really say thank you thank you very much that often I don't know he probably said it once

I know but it's easy to say for the impression oh no no it is I do it as well I don't know I have no I'm not a huge elvis guy so i don't know a lot about i didn't know him personally you know who was a huge elvis guy elvis

my favorite thing about him we'll put a link to that that that video up there in the in on the on the podcast if people want to watch the whole thing awesome um thank you for being here josh willis Again, they can find you at facebook.com slash climate Elvis or on Instagram and Twitter as at O-M-G-N-A-S-A.

That's O-M-G NASA or just Google Climate Elvis and you will find him. Jim, he's a friend of Lisa Curry. So that's how we got him. Oh, you're a friend

of Lisa Curry's? Yeah. Get him the fuck off the air. We love Lisa. We love Lisa. Thank you for coming on the show. Sorry if I cut you off too much. I'm sick of Forrest.

Forrest is all upset about his water levels. All right. Thank you, Josh. It was a blast. And after the pandemic, if any of you ever want to come visit the lab and see what we do. For sure. And where is your lab it's uh it's in pasadena just north of la it's the i didn't know i didn't know it was 12 miles from my house

all right take us out jim all right ah ladies and gentlemen have you ever been in a party, had some problems, someone's come in, you're making out with someone's wife, and they go, hey, that's my wife. You can always say, well, I don't know about that, and you can leave the room. That's a new one. Good night, Australia. Hey, everybody.

Jason Ellis here from the Jason Ellis Show podcast, reminding you that my podcast, new episodes every Wednesday, downloadable where all podcasts are available. Come see my friends, Michael and Kevin, as we talk to you about what's awesome, what sucks, fitness, fighting, parenting, life, spin kicks, LGBTQ community, how to defend yourself against a shark if it attacks you out of nowhere, and much, much more.

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