I Don't Know About That - Dog Breeds

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Actor and writer Andy Richter is best-known for his long-running role as Conan O’Brien’s announcer and sidekick throughout multiple late-night shows. Andy has guest-starred in popular shows such as Arrested Development and Love, Victor. His feature film work includes Scary Movie 2, Elf, Talladega Nights, Blades of Glory, Semi-Pro, and Marcel the Shell With Shoes On. He has had a prolific voiceover career including Mort in DreamWorks Studios’ Madagascar films, as well as in the Nickelodeon series Penguins of Madagascar.    Podcast : The Three Questions with Andy Richter on the Team Coco Network IG : @richtercommaandy   PRE-SAVE The Doohickey’s new single “Rein It In Cowboy” coming out 6/28: https://FortyBelowRecs.lnk.to/RIIC   IDKAT Live Show on June 25th at Flappers: https://www.flapperscomedy.com/shows/jim-jefferies-podcast/69873/   ADS: BETTERHELP: Visit http://www.BetterHelp.com /IDK today to get 10% off your first month. DRAFT KINGS CASINO: New players, start by playing just FIVE BUCKS to get FIFTY BUCKS in Casino Credits in your pocket INSTANTLY! All you gotta do is download the DraftKings Casino app and sign up with code IDKAT.   CHAPTERS: 0:00 — Ads 0:25 — Theme Song 9:28 — Judging a Book by It’s Cover 14:29 — Guest Intro 18:42 — Celebrity Jeopardy 21:30 — Questions 23:45 — Dogs from Egypt 28:13 — Ads 32:39 — Answers 35:50 — Dog Poop 39:54 — Jim’s sad dog story 47:54 — Albino animals in Vegas 54:00 — Rhodesian Ridgeback 1:05:05 — We don’t deserve dogs 1:14:05 — Weiner dog races 1:34:38 — Dinner party fact     Follow Us: Jim Jefferies Website: https://www.jimjefferies.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies FB: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies   Forrest Shaw Website: http://www.forrestshaw.net IG: https://www.instagram.com/forrestshaw Twitter: https://twitter.com/forrestshaw   Jack Hackett IG: https://www.instagram.com/Jack_hackett The Doohickeys: https://www.instagram.com/the.doohickeys

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. When life goes too fast, it's important to take a moment and celebrate your wins and make adjustments for the rest of the year. Therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals in the next six months. Take a moment. Visit betterhelp.com slash idk today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash idk. Paper. sent off your first month that's better help help.com slash idk paper glass concrete what would win in a fight you might find out that i don't know about paper concrete glass like paper rock paper scissors yeah rock glass. It's like rock, paper, scissors.

Yeah, rock, paper, glass. So what beats? Rock, paper. Okay, because the glass will cut through the paper. Yeah. Paper. Concrete. Concrete can't break paper.

But you can't cover concrete unless it's a small piece of concrete. And concrete beats glass. No, no, but paper doesn't beat concrete. Normally paper covers rock, but the concrete, is it attached to a building? Yeah, but you could dump a bit of paper on the ground. You could dump a slab of concrete. The paper will still be underneath. Oh, so you're saying concrete beats paper?

No, paper beats concrete because it can't defeat it. Okay. Yeah, because it's like, I guess you can smooth out concrete with paper. Yeah, sandpaper can fuck up concrete. They already had rock, paper, scissors, though. It was perfect. All right, so we're just replacing the scissors with glass. That's the only difference.

No, it's not rock. It's concrete. Yeah. And glass is no scissors. That's what I'm saying. The scissors are now glass, and rock becomes concrete. If you want to be fanatic about it. This whole conversation is fanatic.

That's coming up in an episode soon. We've got an expert. Glass, scissors, concrete. We're looking for an expert. Scissoring concrete. An expert. You've got to be an expert in concrete, glass, and paper together. So don't even at me if you're not an expert in the history.

Don't bother us. I'll love me some paper. We have a live podcast. Paper. June 25th at Flappers at 8 p.m. June 25th at Flappers. That's next week. We've had fun doing the live podcast.

If you're in the L.A. area, come out to Burbank to Flappers on June 25th at 8 p.m. Flappers. And Jim, you have a bunch of shows. I'm all over Australia right now. If you're in Australia, just go to jimjeffries.com. There was some shows added to certain dates. All over August, I'm all over Australia. On jimjeffries.com.

Coming back, I had Dan Soder and Mark Normand. When are those dates? September 13th in St. Louis. A triple headliner. And September 14th in Atlanta. Yeah, only two shows, but a triple headliner show. All of us are going to be doing time. You're going to get your money's worth there.

Three for the price of one. I'll tell you where you can get two for the price of one. Up in Canada, me and Jimmy Carr selling gangbusters. We're doing it in the round. In the round. The charm offensive tour. The charm offensive. We're going to do it in the round,

and we're going to do little things in that show. I'm going to do a set. He's going to do a set. We don't know what to order. We might going to do it in the round, and we're going to do little things in that show. I'm going to do a set. He's going to do a set. We don't know what to order. We might flip-flop it. At the end, we might do a Q&A. You'll be able to text in your questions. Fun things afoot.

All throughout Canada, you're going to be doing that in September and October, different locations. And then you also, after you're done doing the shows with Mark Norman and Dan Soder in St. Louis and Atlanta, you'll be back on your other tour, Give Them What They Want in America, Detroit, Milwaukee, Kalamazoo, Minneapolis, Tucson.

Now, the other advantage of that show is I do about an hour and a half, where the other shows I'll be doing 40 minutes with a thing and then an hour with Jimmy. So, you know, you still get your money's worth no matter where you go. You're going to get, if you're like me. Otherwise, if you don't like me and you like the two other comics Or the one other comic Yeah It's not gonna be Great value for you

Don't sound like that Why are you listening To this podcast You hate me so much Stop listening You're putting yourself Through hell They're here for Forrest

Tomorrow I'm at the Hollywood Improv For the Shawesome show It's the first Shawesome show Yay It's the first one It's gonna be fun Jack's gonna be there With the Doohickeys Lots of other good comedians It's the first Awesome Show. Yay! It's the first one. It's going to be fun. Jack's going to be there with the Doohickeys.

Woo! Lots of other good comedians. It's going to be really fun. Come out for that. And then I'm also going to be at the Punchline in San Francisco July 30th, the Punchline in Sacramento July 31st, the Comedy Nest in Montreal August 22nd through the 24th. I'm in Key West, Miami, Boca Raton, Tampa.

It's all on my website at foreshaw.net. I've got tons of shows. You're right, though. At the end of the website at foreshaw.net. I've got tons of shows. You're a road dog. At the end of the year. And then I'll be meeting up with Jimmy, meeting back up with you in Tucson and Phoenix for your shows. Yeah, Tucson and Phoenix. Yeah, yeah.

Foreshaw.net. It's all there. And then go to IDCat Podcast to follow us on Instagram. And always December 14th, come and see me in LA. I always love those shows in LA because I'm always in a good mood because I get to sleep in my own bed. Yeah. One time you slept on a bus. Yeah, true that.'m always in a good mood Because I get to sleep in my own bed One time you slept on a bus Yeah true that I was in a terrible mood that day

No no no I always like those shows because all my friends come out And stuff like that you know you get to hang out with a few people Yeah those are fun And the venue is awesome It's really cool And go pre-save the Doohickeys next single Reign It In Cowboy comes out Friday June 28th I'll put a pre-save the Doohickey's next single, Reign It In Cowboy. It comes out Friday, June 28th.

I'll put a pre-save link in the description. If you can pre-save it, it helps us out. And again, if you're a glass or concrete and paper expert, we need you. And also, if there's an expert on the North Sydney Bears, you want to do that. We're still trying to do Australia. Yeah, if you're australian

you listen right here if you're australian and you think the bears are dead you're wrong bringing the bears back baby it's coming is that there's phone calls these conversations are happening i just got a text today things are happening bringing back the page did you get a text about the bears or just a text about something else? I'm in a group chat with my childhood heroes. It's like my favorite thing in the world. Hulk Hogan. No, all the North Sydney Bears players from the early

90s trying to help get the Bears back. They were the last great players of this team. Literally, my childhood heroes I'm in a text chain with. It's kind of exciting. That's cool. Yeah, it is cool.

Looking at you, Billy Moore. Billy Moore might do the podcast. He'd be well up for it. He's all right. What would he be an expert in? The North Sydney Bears. He knows fucking everything. It's very specific, that one.

We already did rugby. Didn't we do rugby league? No, we just did rugby. We just did rugby not not the league we're trying to get i'm i i i have a text from my niece so i'm trying to get my dad as a member of the podcast to come on and i thought what can you talk about carpentry yeah maybe right i know fuck all about carpentry your niece is gonna have to help with all the technology we need someone to go out to the 83-year-old's house and put the computer in front of him and turn it on at the right time and all that type of stuff.

But my niece is moving away in August, so it means that she can't do it. My brother's not up for it because I think my dad does his head in. Why can't you do it when you're there? Maybe you could sit next to him. We'll zoom in. Yeah, that's true. You two could zoom in. You're going to have to have an apparatus there,

like an iPad at the very least. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. You don't have an iPad. I don't know. But I said. Or a computer. Yeah.

I said, I assume you mean. Yes, I have Zoom. The fans want this. My niece goes, I have Zoom on my laptop. So I could give it to him And set it up And then I went Oh you'll already be away

Yeah no you can't just And then she wrote back Ha ha Lucky me Well no but They could do it right now They could do it before you leave Yeah

You know how much This is going to take A lot of production To get that man Okay so right now We're recording it like it's always 10 to 4 this is the perfect time it's like 9 a.m in sydney this is this is prime gary like it's good time for him to record when we record normally this is prime gary nugent right now but i need to get i need to get people to and what you know what else i know what will happen is and

do i have to he'll yell at it yeah right well i'll tell you what else you can do like that no dad you can just speak normally oh you can hear me can you and normally i give the questions ahead of time no there's none of that okay we're just gonna wing it you just get some carpentry questions yeah make sure you put in a dove tail joint that's his favorite thing in the world. Send your manager over. As long as you have a dove-tailed joint. I can sit in the manager. Fucking Mike, that lazy cunt do it.

People want... Right now, you've talked about it too much to not do it. I want this. People want it. Oh! Whoa! Oh!

Those are headphones. Bloody hell! Oh, the Carolyn! Anyways, we need Gary. Yeah, we'll have him on and we'll do carpentry. And he'll be like, how long's an apprenticeship? Yeah, now I got it. What is carpentry?

Yeah, yeah. Can we also do an episode with him on how to talk to women? Oh, that could be a sub episode. Look, let's be honest. We're not getting him on the show to talk about carpentry. This is just going to be a bullshit way to get him on the podcast. And then we're going to make him say lewd things about women. All right, man.

It's just fun. Just entertaining. People want it. All right. Give them what they want. Please welcome our guest andy richter g'day andy now it's time to play yes though yes though yes though yes though judging a book by its cover here's the thing we all know who andy richter is anyone who watches television over the

last 20 years knows who the fuck andy richter is i've i've been on conan with you maybe six seven times sat next to you it's been a number of times i was on conan you don't remember yeah i don't remember were you you didn't stand up yeah yeah no i usually checked out lights go down over on that half of the stage and i'm like i once told a story i think it was the one where i i couldn't come on one episode because i had an infested testicle yeah right literally like one of my testicles swallowed up like a grapefruit and i couldn't come on that episode i couldn't sit or anything it was nothing to do with sex it was just it was what it was and then i come back on the

episode and i told the story and the story didn't really go very well the audience was just sitting there like what the like they thought it was a bit where i was actually trying to tell the truth you know and they cut to an ad and i'm already panicking and and you look over at me and you said jim and i thought you're going to give me some comforting words right or something like that you had something under your fingernail, you go, what do you think that is? Was that on camera? That was in the ad break.

You know what, it did calm me down because I went, he doesn't care about my testicle. He's completely fine. He wasn't offended in the slightest. Okay, so are we going to talk about the late night shows or is it some other topic completely? Am I supposed to? Yes or no? No, it's not.

It's not. I thought it was supposed to be some sort of like just random knowledge thing that I happen to know about. It is. Oh, it can be random knowledge. It's just like a thing that I happen to know a lot of stuff about. For no reason other than just... I will never guess this thing.

There's no way I can guess it. Yeah, we have professors, usually he's looking in the background at people's books and things and trying to guess what they're here to talk about. He never knows what the subject is. Very rarely I guess it. It's not even because some guy's wearing a dinosaur t-shirt

and I'm like, dinosaurs? Yeah, this is, it's about mustard. That was a white t-shirt. He just spilled the water. I'll say that it was something. It was an interest that I, like, since I was a little kid, it was something that I was interested in. And I used to, like, have, there were books about this topic.

And I would sort of just obsessively go through them and go through them. Sports statistics. Nope. I have another hint. Because I believe in Talladega Nights. Yes. There's like- My character in Talladega Nights-

In Talladega Nights. Would be an expert on this too. If you remember that. I've seen the movie. Yeah, of course. It's been a while, yeah. I also am in it for about 17 seconds. Yeah.

That was in my- Congrats. Thanks, thanks. I was a smoker back then. I used to miss five minutes of every hour of each film. Yeah. That was in my... Congrats. Thanks, thanks. I was a smoker back then. I used to miss five minutes of every hour of each film, so I'm not even... Animals related. Animals related.

Yeah. Animal related. Animal related. Yeah, definitely. Animal... And there was books on it that he could read as a kid. Animal you don't have. It's making it so easy.

Iron cats. I know, so... So, another have. It's making it so easy. Iron cats. I know, so. So another animal. Here's Westminster. Dogs. Yes. Dog breeds. I like dogs.

I have opinions on dogs and their breeds. At the early mentality, you were a dog trainer, right? Yeah, I was. I had German shepherds that I would train to do a pyramid. I believe they do a pyramid in the movie. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to live near a woman who had a German Shepherd in Australia,

and she yelled at the dog. She learned German phrases because she believed that the dog understood them. Oh. Well, you know what? The dog was bred in Australia, might I add. But you know what? They train those dogs still with German words. Oh, well, she was sold.

She was right in there. No, but they do. She was doing the salute and everything. It's usually like overcompensating guys will get these dogs. And it's Shepherds and Rottweilers. And they have been trained with German words. And it's because German's the most brutal language on Earth. Yeah, yeah.

That's wise because it sounds cool. But the logic and what the cover story is, that that way the dog won't get confused by English words. They'll know when you're speaking German, you're either talking to them or ordering schnitzel. Ah, the great escape when the guy gets tricked into speaking english as he gets a boarding ticket the dog you know that scene never seen it oh it's the whole thing the guy's doing very well and he goes to get on the train and then the german guy goes your english is, your German is very good. And the guy goes, thank you. Oh, no, blast. Well, let me probably introduce our guests.

Actor and writer Andy Richter is best known for his long-running role as Conan O'Brien's announcer and sidekick throughout multiple late-night shows. Andy has guest starred in popular shows. Multiple. Yeah, we just kept moving from one place to the other. It's from your people. I didn't write this.

No, no, no, I know. I know. I don't. I don't get it. Whenever I'm asked for like can you send over a bio and like say whatever the fuck you want. Andy has guest starred in popular shows such as Arrested Development, Love Victor. His feature film work includes Scary Movie 2, Elf, Talladega Nights, Blades of Glory,

Semi-Pro, and Marcel the Shell. Cabin Boy. You were the comic book writer in Elf. Yeah, yeah. I just had a flashback to that yeah me and cal gas yeah uh he has a podcast the three questions with andy richter on the team coco network as instagram is at richter commandee that's no richter comma andy oh thank you i thought it was like commander comma andy the guy that has andy Richter won't let me have it. And I'm certainly not going to waste more than an ounce of energy attempting it. Oh, well.

So spell it out. Richter, comma, Andy spelled out. And then you have a new call-in show on SiriusXM coming out? It's starting, I think, June 26th. It's either 26th or the 28th. I think June 26th. It's either 26th or the 28th. But it's, yeah, they, on the Conan,

there's the Conan O'Brien channel on SiriusXM. And right now it's just podcasts on the radio. And they want to do some radio shows that then can then be podcasts. So I'm doing a weekly, they were like, do you want to do another podcast? And I was like, ugh. And then they said, how about a call-in radio show? I was like and then they said how about a call in radio show I was like oh alright that's easy

that's just fun and fucking around and I have a guest host come on and it's great it's fun I'll call in you could be a guest host I'll be a guest host I'll do it

it's still kind of evolving what we, like evolving like what we're doing. But so far, we've just been sort of like posing topics for conversation like dating disasters or examples of bad parenting. And then I have, you know, different funny people come on and we sort of, I don't know, counsel the people, hear the stories. I mainly just want to hear the stories. Are we allowed to tell your story about what you do or you want to keep that secret? We can cut this bit out right now. Uh oh, does it sound illegal?

I don't know what it is, but sure, I don't care. Okay,. Cut this out, cut this out. Well, I mean, I was just in Atlanta working on a game show and in the same studio that they shoot this game show they do divorce court and there was a woman on the show who's a comedian i can't remember her name offhand down there and she said that like two years prior she did divorce court with her husband total fake bullshit and like they knew like hey you want to you know they knew she was a comedian

that she was kind of a performer and they're like i, I don't know, we'll make up some fake kind of issue for you to have, and you say you're getting divorced. What game show do you host? Oh, I wasn't hosting it. It's called 25 Words or Less, and Meredith Vieira hosts it, and it's just like a word game show, and it's easy, and she's great. I love being on game shows. Oh I do too. I do. I mean I like playing

games you know. I don't like I go on game shows and like yeah I'll try and be funny but the main thing is like when they want like whenever I've done and I've hosted game shows for pilots and stuff and whenever they're like you know wow the game doesn't matter I'm like fuck you the game

absolutely matters. If you just want jokes, then don't hire me. So I did Celebrity Wheel of Fortune. And then I asked my agents, I said, because I did okay in it. I didn't win, but I made a good showing of myself, right? You could have won. I could have won. You were one letter away from winning.

If I knew the saying, that's the best pineapple I've had in my mouth. No shit. That was a common phrase. That's the best pineapple I've ever had in my mouth. Is it from something? No one knows. I've asked a lot of people. Like a Clint Eastwood movie right before he kills someone.

So I said to my management, I said, can I do Celebrity Jeopardy? And then there was like a silence on the phone. I don't think my management, I said, can I do Celebrity Jeopardy? And then there was like a silence on the phone. I don't think my management think I'm smart. I think they think I'm basic. They go, pick in random letters, Jim. Did they really say that? Yeah, they were like, you're sure? Because it can be quite hard.

Yeah, I want to do Celebrity Jeopardy. Or it's even funny if you get like the lowest score in history is really funny too. Oh, no, no. The lowest score in history is minus blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I know. You watch this Celebrity Jeopardy, you feel really smart. Then you watch regular Jeopardy and you're like, I'm a fucking moron. Oh, yeah.

Celebrity Jeopardy is definitely dumb. I've done a lot of Celebrity Jeopardy. Yeah. And first of all, you can't get a negative amount because if you go negative, and it's kind of actually internet famous. I was on about 10, 11 years ago with Wolf Blitzer and Dana Delaney. Greatest name ever.

It sounds like a moment in World War II. Yeah, absolutely. And he was like the war correspondent on CNN. yeah yeah oh absolutely yeah yeah and i mean and he was like the war correspondent on cnn yeah yeah but uh wolf really bit it really hard like a couple grand negative at the end and they just like they're like okay we're gonna zero it out and give you a grand just throw him in the situation play with at the end yeah but it was not it like people uh were delighted in it but it's like i kind of felt terrible no well you have to own these things if you're bad but when i was on it i had 80 well not 80 of the tv coverage you did 80 of the tv coverage and then i went bankrupt i just kept on

spitting for letters kept on getting letters didn't had no fucking idea and was acting like i knew what it was but i was just trying to get more letters but i was panicking up there oh really yeah terrible feeling what i did learn for anyone who hasn't been on the wheel of fortune is everyone's the same height they have you on little electronic platforms that go everyone's the same height interesting all right dogs all right so i'm gonna ask jim a series of questions about uh dog breeds. At the end of him answering those questions, Andy, you're going to grade him on his accuracy, zero through 10.

10 is the best. Okay. What if I don't know the answer? You can say, I don't know about that. Oh, okay. That's the point of our podcast is not everybody knows everything. And streamers come from the sky. Champagne service comes in.

And then Jack's going to grade them on confidence, 0 through 10. I'm going to grade them on how hungry I am, and we'll put those all together. If you score 21 through 30, you're a pure breed. 11 through 20, a mutt. 0 through 10, a street dog. I would have flipped those, Jack. Well, okay.

Yeah. Is there any pure breed street dogs? Like the way that you would have said. There probably is, yeah. There probably should be, because they're all inbred, right? The pure breeds. Yeah, purebred, mutt, in should be. There probably is, yeah. There probably should be because they're all inbred, right? The pure breeds. Yeah, purebred, but inbred. Yeah, purebred street dog.

All right, first question. What is the most popular dog breed in the United States? Most popular dog breed in the United States of this Americas? Just from the naked eye and walking around and checking things out, I'm going to say it's a Labrador. Okay. What dog breed is known for its distinctive blue-black tongue? Blue-black tongue?

I think the, I think Bluey has a blue back tongue. The Australian sheepdog. It's a healer. Blue healers. I think healers have a colorful tongue. What is the smallest dog breed in the world? Chihuahua. Okay. What breed was originally bred for hunting lions?

Whoa. Hunting lions. So you've got to think of where lions live yeah good you do have anywhere are they live in Africa good they're African good good good so I'm gonna go what dogs just hang out in Africa I've been Africa a few times just hang out yeah it is the dogs that I see in my day-to-day in Africa we've done I believe 200 episodes as you've never said day to day ever until this podcast.

You said it twice earlier. I would have to say, like being in Johannesburg, which is where I've only been to, I've been to Zimbabwe as well, but mostly South Africa is where I've hung out. I'm going to say

that there's a lot of German shepherds there because people have their property all bloody electric, wired and all that type of stuff and German shepherds for for uh guide dogs so i'm gonna say i know where that wouldn't be good german then if they were hunting fucking lions would they um get an answer uh the african kelpie yeah got it what dog breed is known for its excellent sense of smell and is often used in military work. Yeah, I shouldn't have put that on. That would be a German Shepherd for military. They have an excellent sense of smell. But then you've got beagles and bloodhounds and stuff like that.

But for military and sense of smell, German Shepherd. What dog breed has a history that dates back over 4,000 years and was revered in ancient Egypt? Isn't all dog breeds back for over 4,000 years? Revered in ancient Egypt. Have we all dog breeds back for over 4,000 years? Revered in ancient Egypt. Have we had a new one come up lately? Yeah, but what one was revered in ancient Egypt? Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it.

Would have to be a dog that's in Egypt. Yeah, but I know I can picture the dog drawn. Also in Africa. Yeah, yeah. I'll draw it. It's like this. I'll say a... You're going off the drawings?

A settler. A settler? No, a pointer. A pointer? A settler. A settler? A pointer. A pointer. Because he's like an Egyptian. There is a pointer and a settler. It points and then you say no and then it goes, all right. My wife's a settler.

What breed was historically used to guide horse-drawn fire engines? Come on, get this one. What's the fire station dog? Yeah, yeah. It's a bloodhound. What dog breed is known for having webbed feet, aiding its swimming ability? Hint, it's not a duck. Yeah, yeah.

Webbed foot dog. Your day-to-day walking around. Okay, so that wouldn't be a dog from your inland. That would be... Something that would go in the water. That would be... Not your tortoise dog. That would be...

This amphibious dog. Malibu kelpie. Yep, got it. What breed is... Kelpie. Yep. Got it. What breed is commonly- Kelpie is a very versatile breed. What breed is commonly known as the American Gentleman due to its tuxedo-like coat? Oh, yeah. It has a bit of the breast and then a thing.

Black and white. Black and white. I'm going to say, I love a husky, but they're all white, aren't they? They vary. Yeah, but they're sort of, I'm going to say husky. What is the fastest dog breed? Greyhound. Okay.

What breed is often associated with a curled- Which I've always found weird to name a bus, because the bus isn't your fastest vehicle. Right? The train beats the bus. The bus, out of all the land moving things, apart from tanks, but like passenger moving things, is our slowest mode of transportation.

That's like calling the blimp the fucking eagle. Yeah, but I bet you, if a bus and a dog sent out from Minneapolis to Kansas City, the bus would get there first. Yeah, it would be a similar type of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's recalling the Kelpies. And that would be if you tied a bit of meat to the back of that bus would get there first. Yeah, it would be a similar type of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's recalling the Kelpies. And that would be if you tied a bit of meat to the back of that bus.

That's right. Which breed is famous for its herding abilities? Sheepdog. Like specific one? Lots of. Yeah, there's a sheepdog. It's often used in sheepdog trials. Yeah, okay.

So if you ever go to New Zealand, right? You know how- I've been to New Zealand. We here in America, we watch sport ondog trials. Yeah, okay. So if you ever go to New Zealand, right? You know how- I've been to New Zealand. We're here in America. We watch sport on the TV. Yeah, yeah. And if you're a big sport, you're the NBA, the NFL, whatever, occasionally you'll get a network game.

You know what I mean? Most of the time you're on your own apps and you're way back in the background. Not New Zealand. They've got four channels like Australia Australia and they have sheep herding. Yeah. Like from the movie Babe. Yeah, exactly like the movie Babe. Just on the telly.

Yeah. Where people are going, get away, I'm back. Get away, I'm back. Come on. Like that, right? And people are watching on TV going, oh, he's a good dog, this one. Good dog. Good dog.

He'll do well. And they bloody watch it on the telly like a real thing in the same way the British people watch darts. Watch darts. Yeah, that's what good dog, this one. Good dog. Good dog. He'll do well. And they bloody watch it on the telly like a real thing, in the same way the British people watch darts. Watch darts. Yeah, that's what I'm going to say. What? Did I answer that question? What was it?

Oh, it's the sheep dog. You said sheep dog. Yeah, but that's... The black and white dog out of Foot Rot Flats. Google it. You'll know what I mean. Border Collie? Border Collie.

That's your answer? Okay. What is the only dog breed that is native to Cuba? Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The name makes sense. From the name, it makes sense.

Oh, the Castro Kelpie. Killing it. Is Kelpie a real word? I don't know what that is. No, there's no kelpie i think it's just like a fish flavored cracker all right we got a couple more questions there and then we'll go back to kelpie uh kelpie which no you're thinking kelty in australia we have dogs called kelpies i'm sure of it i think it's kelty yeah oh yeah k-e-l-p-i-e kelpie it's australian dog

australian kelpie oh okay i didn't know about that he's a fucking delight of a dog a kelpie K-E-L-P-I-E. Kelpie. Yeah, it's Australian dog. Australian Kelpie. Oh, okay. Fucking get in, Kelpie. I didn't know about that. He's a fucking delight of a dog, a Kelpie. I just think that's what you guys call dogs. No, no, no. Australian Kelpies. All right. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. God, the year's gone quick, hasn't it?

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You gotta run them They gotta run You gotta walk You can't just have them sitting around the house If you're not fit, they're not fit Okay We have a couple more questions Which dog breed was once used for bull baiting

Is now known for its strong muscular build Bull bait I'll say a bull dog Yeah That makes sense They have problems They get arthritis very easily Which dog breed was once used for bull baiting is now known for its strong muscular build? Bull bait? I'll say a bull dog. Yeah. That makes sense. They have problems. They get arthritis very easily.

And the British really... I think the funny thing is it does suit the British. It does look like a dog that hasn't gone outside for a long time and is a little bit curmudgeon-y and maybe used to run the world but doesn't anymore. And whose face is pushing it? What breed is known for its butterfly ears and is a favorite among European royalty? Oh, corgis.

What breed is known for its corded coat that resembles dreadlocks? Oh, I know. It'll be like a watch him a poodle or something. Kelpie. Two more questions. Which breed is commonly referred to as the nanny dog due to its gentle and protective nature with children? The nanny dog?

That would be a pit bull. And then last question. What breed is known for its unique split nose? Quote split nose. I don't know if it's an actual split nose. Giving it an almost double-barreled appearance. Split nose dog? Yeah, that's what it says there. Iote split nose. I don't know if it's an actual split nose. Giving it an almost double-barreled appearance. Oh. Split nose dog. Yeah, that's what it says there. I got the answer, but

I don't know. One for smell and one for cocaine. Yeah. Split nose dog. Wow. I was like, cocker spaniels. I can't picture their dogs being like that, but I like saying cocker spaniel. Alright. Okay. Andy, how did Jim do on his knowledge of dog breeds? Zero through ten. 10's the best.

I think probably about a four. Yeah, all right. I'm all right with that. How do you do on confidence, Jack? Man, you know, that was a 10 on confidence. 14. I mean, he was inventing dog breeds all around. I mean, that was confident.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not that hungry, so minus 12. So you're a pure breed street dog. We grew up with Scottish Terriers. They're little tiny dogs now but in australia they're called sydney silkies so that's a fun bit for you and it's because the australian that sounds like a homophobic slur oh you sydney we also we also have a candy bar called a poly waffle so we're out there australia you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got back to Australia.

It was a candy bar that I liked, and they banned it. It was not banned. It's just been taken off the shelves. They've stopped making it. And I'm like, where's all the bloody Polly Waffles gone? And it sounded so homophobic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No more Polly Waffles in this country.

Anyway, so the Sydney Silky, because the temperature and the humidity in Australia, when a Scottish Terrier is in Sydney it's it's fur goes uh silver colored and so it's called the Sydney silky so there you go you have a dog I do I have I actually I mean uh I have a blended dog family my wife and I uh which actually it's my first year anniversary today and I'm celebrating it here. The dog or your marriage? Both, both. Everything's a celebration. No, but my wife had a dog and I had a dog.

I have a big, she's a border collie, great Pyrenees German shepherd mix, and she's about 120 pounds. And then my wife has a little white dog like one of those like you know when you when we walk dogs in the neighborhood we see like four that yeah which that'll she'll because her dog her dog is we have a four-year-old daughter and the dog comes before our daughter uh in my wife's, you know, calculus. So to hear me say that she looks like lots of other dogs

will get me in trouble. Right, she won't listen to this podcast. Maybe, you never know. She still loves me, so she's interested in what I have to say. The things I've said about my wife on this podcast, I know she doesn't listen to this podcast. I am 100% certain. Her mom does.

Yeah, my mother-in-law. Hello, Becca. She listens to the podcast. I'm her mom does yeah my mother-in-law hello becca she listens to the podcast i'm very good friends with my mother-in-law my mother-in-law is closer to age to them to me than my wife oh i see so i get a lot no she had my wife when she was 21 so and my wife's 13 years it's not freakishly right right no. My mother-in-law, I'm 40. Your wife is an adult. I'm 47. My mother-in-law is 55. Oh, okay. So we hang out. Yeah, yeah.

We're all good to go. Anyway, but she listens to the podcast, Hello Becca. She even comes and sits and watches when she's in the country. But I have a very, I believe, fairly effeminate. I like small dogs. Your dog's a good size. Arnie's a good size.nie's a good size that's that big he's he's sturdy enough though that he's he's got like a little mass to him where you're not gonna step on and i love something i like big dogs but the the shit picking up is too it's

too big a shit too big a shit oh just it's horrifying yeah and then mine and she stays in the backyard most of the time which is okay because then i have like you know like a you know like what they pick up trash at disneyland with you know a broom on a stick and a scooper on a stick but it's a little rake so at home it's okay and also i leave it if a dog shits you leave it for an hour or two it's a lot easier to pick up than when it's fresh out of the asshole. But when I walk her, and it can be... This morning was just a fucking puddle of horror. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it doesn't have body to it, what do you do then?

Well, what I do, I actually have extra large dog shit bags that I purchased just for her. 13-gallon bags. I take two of them. I put it on like oven mitts and then like scoop it and then, you know, do the whole thing. Don't you miss just the plastic bags you used to get from Ralph's that were the standard thin plastic bags? Like they said they got rid of them for the environment. But you always put them in the little waste paper basket in the bathroom or in your office.

I always used them again. They were great for picking up shits. Now I'm going to the shops with my reusable bag to buy plastic bags to pick up dog shit later. Something's missing here. I used to get dog shit bags for free. Oh. All right. This is how they're ruining you financially.

My other problem with dog shit is I take my bins out on a certain day a week i'm not going to tell you because you might come and fucking fuck around with me bins right but i take the bins out on a certain day and then the truck comes and puts him in puts me by the time i come back from picking my kid up at school or something the bins have been sitting out maybe for a couple of hours since they've been emptied in that time inevitably yeah cuts who are walking their dogs have thrown a bag of dog shit in each one of the bins. Does that bother you? It does, because now I have a dog

shit for a week. The bins have just been emptied. If you did it just before it's emptied. Have you never done that? I don't have a dog. Oh, you don't have a dog? I would have a dog. I'd love to have a dog, but with the traveling, with the comedy and everything, my wife is a cat person, so I can't have a dog. If I had a wife who was into having a dog, I'd like to have a dog. If your can's on the streets, fair game. and everything, and my wife is a cat person, so I can't have a dog.

If I had a wife who was into having a dog, I'd like that. If your can's on the streets, fair game. I put it in all the time. The only thing I don't... Yeah, but I think if it's full, it's all right. And empty, that's a week of your dog shit. It doesn't matter. It's in the bag.

It doesn't matter. I mean, it's a trash can. The only thing I don't like is when people put it in recycling. That pisses me off so much. Yeah, recycling or in the yard. If you're going to throw your dog shit bag, like, in my, like, I'll throw my dog shit bag in anybody's trash can,

regardless of whether it's empty or full, but I'll throw it in the trash can. If just their recycling in their yard bin is out, I am holding onto that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But let's give it up for picking up dog shits. Let's go back to our childhoods when we were stepping in dog shit on the regular.

Yeah, yeah. And it just... You know what they had in Australia to stop dog shit? Rather than the idea of picking it up, at the front of each classroom they'd have a metal grate that you could scrape your shoes on. That's how... Really? Wow.

They couldn't think of a better system. Just the public system. And it was like concreted into the ground. It sort of lent up. You'd go scrape your dog shit off like that. yeah that was because they just assumed that one child would have dog shit would be carrying shit into the classroom after each lunch you know i i actually it's funny you say that because i have never thought about because we had dogs but we lived kind of in a rural part of illinois and you you didn't even walk your dog. You opened the door and let it out.

And if it was gone three hours, you might go like, huh, I wonder where the dog is. But it would just come and go as it wanted to. And I don't ever remember anybody picking up shit in the yard or there being an apparatus for it or anything like that.

I remember my parents buying the pooper scooper, which was the first scoop it up type of thing, flinging it over the fence when you got told to do it as a kid. But yeah, the Pooper Scooper. I've told this dad story. I don't know if I've told it on this podcast. I assume I have, but we had two dogs. We had a little tiny Scottish Terrier called...

A Sydney Silky. Sydney Silky. We had a Sydney Silky and then we got a doberman right now the doberman was the same size as the silky when it was a puppy they're really they're feederfully grown they're a lovely awkward animal when they're little and they become such a mean lean fight machine the doberman but it was the fact and this dog was a dopey dog but because the other dog was about eight years older it thought the sun shined out of that dog's ass right so the little dog was in charge of that so the big dog became the big dog the little dog remained the little dog

and we used to walk around together and if then the little dog started getting a bit more ballsy around other dogs because it had its henchmen with it. Yeah, yeah. It was just like this. It would see another dog like this. And never used to before. It was chicken shit before. And then it was like, really? You want to fuck with me?

Have you seen my friend? Yeah, yeah. Like that, right? So anyway, these dogs loved each other. And the big one looked up to the little one. Anyway, the little one gets a tick and dies. And it's very sad. It was little one. Anyway, the little one gets a tick and dies. And it's very sad. It was over Christmas.

Wait, gets a tick? Yeah, ticks in Australia can really, they're a lot more. And then it lost control of its back legs. My dad didn't get it in time. That was another thing, too. Besides not picking up dog shit, I don't remember putting flea or tick medicine on my dogs. Like, now they didn't have that stuff.

Yeah, yeah. Put it in the neck or give them a pill. So I like if it happened, yeah. You get ticks in Australia when your leg's walking through long grass and stuff like that. Yeah. So anyway, so the dog dies

and then the Doberman gets, like anyone who says that they don't have memories and stuff, we had a thing that said they don't have long memories. This dog went into a fit of depression. Yeah. Just a fit of depression.

Started running its head into the fence until its head was all bloody like this right it was the happiest dog then it started swallowing fucking rocks dude started swallowing rocks and my dad took it it was 500 bucks to get a rock cut and my dad did it twice and he said if he does it again we have to put the dog down because i can't keep taking the right i remember being like 13 or something, just crying, holding the dog's face like, don't eat another rock. And I was in the backyard trying to get every rock out. You never seen a fucking sadder scene in a film, right? And then the bloody dog dug under the ground and found a rock and it fucking killed itself, man.

I watched a dog kill itself, dude. Yeah, I think you have told this story in the podcast before and it always ends sad. The story's not going to change. No, I know. But while you were telling it, I was like, oh. I knew right away. I was going like, oh, it's that one. Yeah, we've had a lot of podcasts.

By the way, when we had the dog psychologist on, he didn't say they had no memory. They have memory and they remember you. What he said is 10 minutes after they're removed from a situation, if they're taken from the house where you're at, 10 minutes after they leave your house, they are adjusting to whatever that situation is so they're not thinking about you.

They still remember you, but they're just thinking about what's going on right now in my... They'll still remember all that stuff. This dog did not adjust. We'll stay at the same house. Did you folks consider getting another dog to replace... My parents got dogs right up until... My father...

To replace the one so that this one wouldn't be so lonely and kill itself. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, we should have gotten onto that a bit quicker. My dad bought a dog, like, my dad's in his 80s, and he bought a dog like six years ago that he thought, it'll last, you know, it was already an older dog, and he said, this one will last until he dies, and the dog died like a year ago or something and my mother's gone so my dad's by himself and i tell you what i don't know if there's a sadder thing in the world than hearing an old man uh talking about burying his last pet

because because he said to me he goes i can't get another one i i it'll outlive me right i can't get another one right and then you're just like, so I'm like going down to dog shelters in Australia. This one's got cancer. How long do you reckon? Six weeks? No, I need longer than that. You got any year,

year and a halfers? Don't forget a dog. Don't forget a dog. Any dogs with a three-year emphysema? All right. What is the most popular dog breed in the United States? Jim said Labrador Retriever. I think that's right.

Yeah. I think that's right. It changes from year to year, but I think that's right. Yeah. I have some answer that says it's right. They seem to be the friendliest of all the dogs. We all know that they make the best guard dogs. I don't think there are other dogs.

They're not really that good for guard dogs. Not guide dogs. Guide dogs. For the blind. Or guide dogs. Oh, okay. Guard dogs. Definitely not. There's always videos of people like that. Labradors will come up and lick the criminals.

But guide. Guide dog. For the blind. Do the blind use any other? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But guide. Guide. Guide. Right. For the blind. Yeah. Do the blind use any other? I've never seen the blind. They do. They use different.

They use golden retrievers are big for that. And I think shepherds are too. Oh, I've seen some shepherds. Yeah. Well, the problem is that the whole support animal industry has been bastardized so badly by the people who get a little bit- The Pomeranians.

Oh, with just people who, like, you see people on a plane with a dog barking and stuff like that, I'll go, is that calming you down, is it? Is that helping you fly? Because that thing seems to be shitting everywhere. I know. That thing's got more anxiety than you, yeah.

It's fucking twitching on the plane like this. It can't fucking go. That's one of those things that I learned, like, oh, don't complain about that on the internet because the people are just fucking ridiculous about it. It's the same thing like complaining about people seeing somebody pull into the handicapped space, hang up the placard, and then, like, very healthfully, you know, go into the store. Like, I complained about that once online,, and man, it is not worth it. Not all disabilities can be seen.

On the Jim Jefferies show, which I was a part of, we legally got me a support vest for a camel. I have registered to my name a support camel. Two different organizations, by the way, simultaneously, made a support camel.

Wow. I have a support camel that I'm allowed to take into shopping centers with me and all that type of stuff. And is it a real camel? Did you have a camel or was it just a movie camel?

It's a camel that works for one of the movie companies or whatever, but I have it registered as my support camel. Pissed everywhere in the studio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was pissing during the fucking thing,

this big ass fucking camel. And there was a custom vest made for it. So two different organizations simultaneously made it a support camel for Jim. And then we had fans would send stuff in and there was a guy that studies leeches and he had a leech that registered as a support leech. Yeah, it was one of those, you know like like on late night shows whatever you have like a kernel of idea for a sketch or

something you know that probably won't work out it was the easiest thing we did on the whole show yeah yeah register a camel this is my pitch yeah well forrest came up with it very good well done forrest okay i still don't i still that camel i shot lots of stuff with that camel. He came out and did a photo shoot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dried lake bed. Yeah, yeah. That's how we, I was standing there with Matt Kirshen next to one of the camera guys.

And then Matt just goes to him, baby, this is the first time you've shot a camel in the studio, huh? And the camera guy just turns and goes, I've shot this exact camel eight different times. He knew that was a camel. He was like not impressed. He was like, I've seen this fucking camel. That times he knew that was a cat he was like not impressed that camel was chill with people yeah once you once you do animal stuff like because you know like we do animal segments on the cone and show all the time like there's a there is an albino a big albino python that i'm like i see just like oh there it is On Rachel Ray Oh there it is On Kelly Clarkson

Did you make the rounds Yeah yeah Oh the albino animals I always feel bad for them They do They're always Because they were Pred to be that way

I know but They're actually like Popular now People want to see them So what's happening With the albino animals That were from Siegfried and Roy

Who are still fucking living Who were at the back Of the Mirage. Oh, those, yeah. And now my shows have been cancelled at the fucking Mirage because it's moved over to the Hard Rock. I can't even imagine how cancelled the albino tigers at the back of the Mirage are right now.

And the dolphins. Oh, the dolphins. They've been gone. They've been gone? Yeah, yeah. But what's happening with all the Siegfried and Roy, the tigers and lions that are all white sitting out in the back there? I don't know.

I didn't know they were still there. There's a whole Siegfried and Roy secret garden and they just kept it. They're renovating it. They kept it as a zoo until those animals died, but they live a really long time and they had loads of them. Loads of white tigers and lions. There's like 12 of them. Yeah, that used to Yeah, I've been to the secret garden.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Those poor fucking things. They used to be a hit on the thing. And then you watch the old footage. They used to swim in the fucking swimming pool with Roy at the mansion. He'd be like, come here, my pet.

Oh, I love you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And used to fight with him. And then the fucking... Now they're in a fucking thing at the back of the hard rock the music will be too loud for them now they won't enjoy it they're a yacht rock guy they're yacht rock

oh the mirage is the hard rock yeah the mirage has now become the hard rock and they've just cancelled they used to be the ace of the comedy it used to be like a different comic every weekend I had like three or four weekends booked in there but they just all of a sudden they said oh no we're keeping that but they got they're getting rid of like the beatles love show oh so it's like everything it's close it's july 7th it's

close they got rid of jim jeff if they get rid of the beatles love show i don't like the tigers odds maybe the tigers are doing comedy then you are a bet man the tigers are doing comedy. Then you are a Batman. The tiger's a comedy. Earn your stripes. Which dog breed is known for its distinctive blue-black tongue? You said Bluey. I looked it up. Bluey does have some spots.

Yeah, they have spotted tongues. I think there's different ones that we're looking for. Specifically is the Chow. Yeah. The Chow. Choose the Chow. The Chow Chow. It's like a reddish one

with sort of a, it looks like, kind of like a squished husky. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Lisa Vanderpump's. Oh, does she have one? They're this big, usually. Oh, but she had a little one,

Gigi. That's a Pomeranian. Yeah, Gigi. Yeah, they get that thing. Yeah, yeah. Pomeranians are like a small version. I'm friends with Lisa Vanderpump,

and I remember when Jiggy, it broke on E! News that Jiggy had died, the dog that she carried around all the time. And I did actually ring her up and say, you doing all right? I'll be okay, buddy Jiggy. I remember Jiggy was all right. We had a chow chow growing up. His name was Lucky.

They looked like puppets. I love them. They could be meaner than shit. Meaner than shit. So we had one growing up, and we adopted it from somewhere, and it was already named Lucky when we got it. It was all black, and people were very afraid of it because I guess the dog, the catchers,

they said chow chows bite them the most of any dogs. Them or maybe German Shepherds. So they were like guard dogs or something like that for emperors. But yeah, his name was Lucky and there was just, I lived right near this, the place where veterans drink,

what do they call that? The VFW. VFW, yeah, yeah. There's like just a bar there and this guy would just see me every fucking week and he'd be like, what's that dog's name?

And I'd be like, Lucky. And he's like, I had a dog named Lucky and he would do the same joke. Hey, dog and nerve. One eye, three legs. don't have to be like thank you for your service sir never heard that joke by you every week all right small sorry so back you have a four-year-old daughter you said yeah uh bluey bluey family you watch bluey absolutely yeah blue she went she went to school in a bingo dress today blue uh bingo is bluey's sister

bluey was my son's third word yeah oh really wow yeah yeah bluey it's a good show it's a good show it's a really good they just released on their thing today like they did a parody of the opening of the simpsons um on their on their instagram today oh wow so you want to get involved and i love how bluey like eight, eight-minute episodes, and then they produced a 23-minute episode. It was a big reveal. The 23-minute episode's coming, everyone. What?

It was like a movie premiere. Like, I saw it on morning shows and everyone was... Absolutely. Yeah, we watched it. I mean, by say we, I mean it was on at my house while I was doing other things, but yeah. The other things were watching Bluey. No.

You love Bluey. I was beaten off. Yeah. Watching Bluey. You guys are going to be busy for how long? 23 minutes. I'll only need three of those. Every time Andy's masturbating,

you can put your head up to the door and you can hear, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Mom! here. Mum! I've actively gone out there to put my name forward to be a voice on Bluey. Yeah. Like this voice doesn't

I once played a Tasmanian tiger in a movie but obviously I'm only good for crocodiles, koalas you know these are the type of animated films. Sure. Kookaburras. Ah! All day. All day. Right. So I went I really want to be on Bluey. And I was working on a TV show that had the same production company as Bluey.

It was all the same producers. And I actually went to the producer and said, I don't want any money or anything. Even if one episode, I get a couple of lines, I'd really like to be in Bluey because I've got a little kid, and that would be a big deal if I could be in Bluey. And she goes, I'll see what I can do for you. And they sent us a crate of every Bluey toy that ever happened, and I have not gotten a response to you doing the voice. I think that was the response. I think the response was, I hope your child enjoys all this stuff

because you won't be on Bluey. When you open your mouth to do a voice, shove all this gear in. Shove this merch in there yes we went to the producer and we said you know the guy who says cunt a lot yes he wants to be on bluey uh uh smallest dog breed in the world you said chihuahua yes chihuahua uh which breed is originally bred for hunting lions? This is where you really went off the rails. This is where you start with the Kelpie. The African Kelpie, which we didn't know was a real dog, but still not.

I want a Kelpie now. Look how beautiful a Kelpie is. This is one that it has an African country in its name. Zimbabwe? No, it's actually formerly. Ah, the Chad. No. The Chad.

That's a dog that goes to fish shows. No, the Rhodesian Ridgeback. Ah, the Rhodesian. Yeah, Rhodesian Ridgeback. Yeah, they have that little bit of hair on the spine. That's like, oh, yeah. And they're pretty big, right? They are really cool dogs. They used to.

Let me look at your Redesian Ridgeback. Yeah, they're like short haired kind of, you know, like brown dogs. But they are. There was a guy. I used to go to a big dog park. There's a dog park on Mulholland that's really big, and this guy would bring two Rhodesians, and they loved my dog,

and they would separate and stalk her. Oh, wow. Silently stalk her, and it was so evident, like, oh, wow, that's, you know. The raptors. It wasn't just like one of them would hunt lions, like a pack of them would hunt lions. But they're just playing with their dog.

Yeah, yeah. They're just having fun. But you could see they would not like run up and go, come on, let's chase each other. They would go, you know, and then like triangulate. So, okay. So when was the dog domesticated? How long ago was the dog domesticated?

Right. And so were they- You mean the dog generally? Yeah, just the domestic animal was the dog domesticated? I don't know. Right? I'm an oligarch. And so were they- You mean the dog generally? Yeah, just the domestic animal of the dog. Oh, thousands and thousands and thousands of years ago. Right, so we've had them as pets. Pre-history. Pre-history, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've had them as pets since the beginning. Absolutely. Yeah, it says between 12,500 and 15,000 years ago. Yeah. And then some people might have interacted with them as early as 130,000, so forever, yeah. And they're sort of indigenous across the world. They come, or they all come from. So Australia didn't have any dogs, and it's a misconception that the dingo is from Australia.

That's introduced from, we did this. China, I'm pretty sure. From China. That was an Asian dog that was introduced to bring into probably. Kill rats or something. Yeah, something like that. But a long time ago. But it's only a couple of hundred years ago they brought in the. But it actually took, I remember this from, we were doing the research. kill rats or something like that. A long time ago.

Only a couple of hundred years ago they brought in the... I remember this from we were doing the research. It took the place of the Rhodesian, of the Tasmanian tigers who used to be there to cull the kangaroos and stuff. And so the dingoes took their place in the eco... Oh, the dingoes are so synonymous

with Australia now. It's not perfect that they're there. But yeah, they're not actually from there so but australia's got their own funky animals that's that's our whole thing did the tasmanian tigers uh were did they eat babies too probably it sounds like they yeah that's what the dingoes were tasmanian tiger stole my bike it's too much of a mouthful. Keep the baby population in check. Too many fucking babies, mate. Well, they reckon that if they're going to bring an animal back from the dead with DNA and cloning, that the Tasmanian tigers and the woolly mammoth are your two.

Oh, the closest. They're the ones that have little stillborns in alcohol sitting ready to go where they may be able to do this. Wow, yeah. But yeah, the taste... Yeah, I think the woolly mammoth, it's possible, and they're just like not doing it because we're still like,

we've seen too much science fiction, you know. Yeah, the scientists are big fans of Jurassic Park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't want to be taken over by woolly mammoths. They're just hairy elephants. Dog breed known for its excellent sense of smell. He's in military work. He said German Shepherd.

Yeah. German Shepherd. What I learned about German Shepherds is I'm friends with a guy who was in Seal Team 6. Actually, the bloke who killed Bin Laden. Oh, really? Different podcast. Is he friends with Lisa Vanderpump, too?

No. The three of you going out to... I'm doing the best name dropping today. the three of you i'm doing the best day i'm doing pickleball together lisa vanderpump me became friends during covet i did her podcast once then she my wife's a big fan of the show and she invited me up to villa rose or to hang out with the dogs she's like eight dogs all wandering around she's a wonderful lady fantastic i think he's right though that's a picture that needs to happen yeah i can get that anyway but he said that when i think he said it on the podcast as well that when the german

shepherds are strapped to the seal team's chest and they they uh parachute yeah that the dog fucking loves it because some people have claimed oh that's animal cruelty right right they reckon it's it's the ultimate head out the car window yeah it's they've never been happy like wow they reckon as they're free falling like this the dog's like this i could smell the whole planet the dog's over the yeah and they probably feel secure enough being all strapped in and they they totally try like my dog my dog is very protective my my big girl is very protective but she if there's something like when the woman because that like when she goes to get her teeth clean and it's like this tiny little woman that

goes to clean her teeth she hides behind me whimpering so like i still am, if I'm home alone, she's not patrolling. But when my daughter's home, she's in the backyard, she's in the front, she's always on guard. But I'm her daddy, so I imagine for them, it's like, well, daddy's got me. I don't need to freak out about jumping out of a plane. The second I stop touring as a comedian i think i'll get a dog if i can be home and yeah you know i got my dog three years ago and it it is harder when i but i still i'm happy i got how long how long are you gone for a stretch oh like i've got a two-month trip coming up oh yeah you know what i mean i unless you get a

little fucking you know i could become like fluffy who has these two hours and i need a private jet and the everything that fluffy has mickey rourke has little like a little dog that he has okay but i go to australia you can't bring it to australia oh that's right do you remember what happened with johnny depp and amanda heard when she just brought it in the same way you had they have a big they have have a big quarantine for the UK for dogs. Australia has a very delicate ecosystem. Yeah. Fucking pussies.

We're a little bit upset. We're still upset about the fucking cane toads. Yeah. That was the bit where we went, fucking. But I'll tell you who's worse than us is the New Zealanders with fruit. Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Well, New Zealand with everything because they have no predators. Oh yeah. Oh my goodness. Well New Zealand with everything because they have no predators.

Yeah they have no predators. They can't do certain things and they've kept everything out and it's been easy because no one wants to go. But also fruit. And so they Billionaires do. So there was a guy, my wife was there with my the baby and my

In New Zealand? Yeah I was touring New Zealand I went in and they were like all on the plane like this. We're and my... In New Zealand? Yeah, I was touring New Zealand. I went in and they were all on the plane like this. We're coming from Australia, New Zealand. If you have any fruit on you, please do not bring any fruit into the country. It is imperative. A lot of imperatives. Imperative.

Right? So they kept on saying, you know, don't bring fruit. And I said to my wife, I said, make sure you don't have any bloody fruit. They're not fucking around. They're not fucking around about the fruit. This guy had a mask on like he was Darth Vader with a tube coming out of it because he was in charge of looking through bags and stuff like that. And he's like this.

He goes, so do you have any fruit in this bag? My wife's like, no, no, I don't have any fruit. He goes, are you sure? And I've already gone, oh, fuck, here we go. And she goes, yes, I don't have any fruit. He goes, are you positive? And she's like, yes. And he went, what about this?

And he brought out a fucking orange like it was a Perry Mason episode. And then she went like this and i went oh for fuck's sake right and then i was only bothered because i know that the new zealand government were going to take her to a room and berate her for at least an hour right and i just were there did they just take it and 400 something dollar fine Wow. And my wife and my mother-in-law went off into a room to get told off. Wow. And I took care of the baby out there. Because Hawaii has a very strict thing like that. But they just take it and throw it away.

I don't want to take it to the fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. That orange, that was expensive orange. Wow. It's probably because they have to eat it. I bet you there's some complicated destruction of that fruit. There would be some fruit fly that they don't like,

that they don't have in the ecosystem. It's so isolated in New Zealand. It's so isolated. They've got no snakes, no predators. It's an interesting place. It's the only country, let's be honest, where their national emblem is a flightless

blind bird that's anywhere from that size to the size of a football yeah and it can live just like this waddling around

right without getting fucking eaten except for the cats like exactly they can keep out any animal from any country

except the domestic cat yeah people are like nah fuck it we'll risk it people love cats yeah dog breed They can keep out any animal from any country except the domestic cat. Yeah, yeah. People are like, nah, fuck it. We'll risk it. People love cats. Yeah. Dog breed in history that dates back 4,000 years and was revered in ancient Egypt. I don't remember what you said.

It was something pointer. Oh, that was just the pointer settler one. It was the pointers and the gathers. Yeah, yeah. You know this one, Andy? It's a greyhound or a saluki, I think. It says greyhound here. Yeah, it looks like a greyhound. You had it right on the drawing. it's a greyhound yeah it says greyhound yeah um yeah that's it looks like a greyhound and that you already had it right on the drawing it's like greyhound

i can picture it now in the drawing when did the whippet come in whippets are i think just a uh a great a dwarf greyhound basically yeah exactly yeah exactly that's they just you know the thing about dogs that's amazing to me is just how like I actually said this before, like people say, you know, like we don't deserve dogs. And I'm like, yeah, we do. We fucking invented them. We genetic genetically engineered every fucking single one of them. Yes, we do deserve them. That's always in the comments section.

Every dog video ever. We don't deserve dogs. No, no, we do. It. That's always in the comment section of every dog video ever. We don't deserve dogs. No, no, we do. It's like I baked a pie. You said you don't deserve that. Yeah. No, I fucking baked that pie. That pie is mine.

You can't have it and eat it, too. Whippets were the dogs of Egyptian kings, too. It says likely originated through breeding greyhounds with pariah dogs. The whippets are synonymous with only the north of England and only really Yorkshire, up around Leeds and all that type of stuff. They're mad for whippets. That's like a Yorkshireman will have whippets running next to them. That's their thing.

Greyhounds were hunting dogs too, and they're of a subset of dogs, and they're called sighthounds because they hunt by sight, which is a very rare kind of thing. because they hunt by sight, which is a very rare kind of thing. Like most dogs hunt with their noses, and they're fast for like bringing down, I don't know, impalas and shit like that. So is it true that they see in black and white?

Because there's a thing going around the internet that the pastels of Bluey, the color scheme of Bluey, dogs are watching it because it fits their cones and rods. Oh, I don't know. Dogs can see Bluey. Now, they're arguing that they did that on purpose so the dogs could watch it, or it could have been a happy accident. Right, right.

I'm going happy accident. Yeah, but I always heard it was black and white, black and white, and now it's like they're our pastels. That says they do see in black and white, but they do have some color. Again, this is the internet. Dogs have two types of cone receptors, which are sensitive to blue and green light. That's what they're saying. So they might see

some... Might be right. Can dogs watch Bluey? I'm telling you, there's a thing. Oh, wait, wait. This is saying it is a myth that they only see in black and white. Science has proven this to be a myth. So there is some color. Oh, some color. This is Adelaide Some color. Yeah.

Dog. This is Adelaide Vet. This can't be right. Australian even. Dogs have a short attention span, so Bluey's kid-friendly seven-minute long episodes may be the right length. That's right, Amber. This is People Magazine research.

That can't be right. I like how in Bluey all the different dogs have the different dog disabilities yeah yeah like there's like dash hounds which obviously are no use they can't reach anything i had a dash hound growing up a lovely dog lovely dog heidi we called it we had a weird thing with my family we always called our dogs like human names yeah that's what i do yeah yeah yeah yeah arnie yeah yeah arnie so yeah heidi was this dog that but whatever happened to the dog that just lives outside i don't feel like they exist anymore they do in places i mean it depends on where you live like if you live on a farm

you definitely have a dog and if you live in a temperate climate you have a dog that lives my father had dogs that lived outside and then certain dogs he decided is an inside dog yeah there'd be another outside dog. And like dog houses were a thing. But you don't need them anymore. Dogs go in there and sleep. Some dogs. People have dogs.

Yeah, and if you have a dog here, you need it to get some out of the heat. You need it to get some protection from the sun. Into a dog house? That's where they fucking throw prisoners in those old war movies where they're fucking serving them water out of a sift they don't know

yeah they drink out of ponds and shit into the hole is it dash hound or dachshund it's dachshund but that's just I say dash hound

yeah dash hound pronunciation we had a long haired one which is a lot more rarer but like a short haired dash hound is sort of the sausage dog

breed historically used to guide horse drawn fire engines you didn't say dalmatian you said something else oh dalmatians are fire there used to be a comedian that did like in australia and i'm talking like 25 years ago and his bit was it was quite funny now i look back at it it was 101 dalmatians coloring in book. Because every page is already colored in. And then there was one page where the dogs were all sitting around a piano.

They're supposed to be dumb, Dalmatians. Yeah, they are purely, that's another, that is a breed purely bred for fashion. Just for those dots. They just fucked around with different coach dogs until, you know. It is funny that we can do that about animals, though. We can go, that breed's a moron. Imagine if we did that with people. Oh, my goodness. I don't have any opinions.

You can't afford to. Moving on, moving on, moving on. Which dog breed is known for having webbed feet, aiding in swimming, but you said the Malibu Kelpie. It's on your Kelpie run right now. Great at surfing, yeah. I want a Kelpie now. It's such a delight of a dog.

There's actually a few of those. I think Labs have it, but I think Newfoundland's have it. I think the Portuguese water dog has Webby. Oh, that was the Obama's dog, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it says Newfoundland and all those dogs. Where would we say all dogs' genetic origins,

Darwin origins are? Gray wolf. Gray wolf, so that's Europe. Yeah. Yeah, but there's wolves everywhere not in australia we didn't have any wolves well not in australia but i mean new zealand wouldn't have any wolves they'd fucking eat all the kiwis we've gone over this everywhere but those fucking everywhere that's important just down below where anyone where you know below tell me stop caring

no but i mean there's, there's wolves in Asia. I guess maybe just, yeah, I guess it would be in that landmass, but there's wolves in North America. There's that ice bridge. Maybe they came across the ice bridge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so North America had wolves. They danced with them.

Yep. They actually think, though, that chihuahuas might evolve from foxes, prehistoric fox. I was wondering when we said that because they're so small. Yeah, yeah. I was hanging out with Fluffy once, and he goes to me, he goes, you got dogs? I said, no. He goes, yeah, I got a couple of Mexican doorbells.

That's what he called chihuahuas, Mexican doorbells. It's a pretty apt answer. What breed is commonly known as the American Gentleman? Dude, it's a tuxedo-like coat. You said a husky. Yeah, I got that wrong. Boston Terrier. Boston Terrier. My brother has two of those.

Yeah. My brother has two Boston Terriers. He has? Yeah, Danny has Boston Terriers. His two dogs are Boston Terriers. And fuck me, I don't know what he feeds them, but those dogs fart. His two do.

More than any dog I've ever met. He's got a dog that farts like at a good fart for England. Like a professional. But yeah, the Boston Terriers. Well, they're the American gentlemen. They are as dense a creature that we have on this earth. Like a ham. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, when you try to pick up a dwarf, you don't do it anymore. But back in the day, they're dense, right? That's the Boston Terriers. They're solid like a ham. All right. I just had something.

I'm not going to say it. What is the fastest dog breed? Greyhound, you said? Yeah. It has to be. It has to be. has to be otherwise why are we racing the other ones but i think with dog racing so whippets are pretty fast yeah but not as smaller so but you go to the dog races and they have the little the little furry um rabbit goes

like that and they reckon if the dog catches the rabbit they stop the racing if the machine breaks and the dogs catch up to it those dogs are ruined because they go like this it's just a fucking stuffed animal because they keep them hungry before the race and then they throw the thing at if the dog finds out it won't do it anymore so there has to keep the illusion where does it go at the end i never realized it goes into a little housing and then the dogs attack the shit out of it yeah yeah yeah yeah it goes into a little thing but if you want to see degenerates at the horse racing, that's one thing. But go to the dog racing on a Tuesday. You'll see some colorful folk there, I tell you. Why are you there?

I'm a degenerate. Okay. But I used to go in West Virginia. He's looking for pals. Because also, there's something. You can go there with $20 and bet $2 a race, and you can have it. It's a long day. Watch dogs attack a box.

I mean, I'm into the dog – I don't even know where there is a dog track anymore. You ought to know in LA. But, I mean, in Florida, I went when I was younger, and I actually kind of preferred the dogs. Although, you know, it is – apparently, it's just a brutally cruel – Yeah. I guess, you know, people say horse racing is bad, but it's like horses brutally cruel yeah i guess you know people say horse racing is bad but it's like horses are big and expensive and dogs they just dump them wherever you know like if they're not if they don't run they just either kill them or dump them so it is it's awful and i wouldn't do

it again are you from florida no no but i mean just when i would go down there you said someone dumping animals and killing him he said when he Florida. He said when he was in Florida. I'm from Florida. Florida is where most of the dog racing is. Yeah, for sure. But what I liked about it is it was kind of like just, like there wasn't a human involved. It was just, you truly were like, you know,

it was like a fast version of the hermit crab races. I always thought those animals were quite loved, though. You know, there must be some. There's a big rescue effort. There's a big rescue were quite loved, though. There must be some owners who love them. There's a big rescue community. Yeah, no. I mean, surprise, surprise, a lot of scumbags at the track. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, and also with the dog racing, when you see the horses, I always used to put my bet on the dogs right at the end because you'd see them do their parade, and you'd go, well, that one's a bit frisky. He's good to go. That one's got his head down you know i look i never made any money so i'm probably right but why do like have different classes go all right that was the greyhounds ladies and gentlemen yeah now 10 minutes we're here we're going bugs It's a very short race. The only other thing I know. We're going the Chihuahua 1000.

My family's from Chicago. My sister lives in the western suburbs. And I had work there. And I told her, I said, I'm coming this weekend. And then I stayed a couple extra days out with her. And she's like, oh, good. You'll be here for the wiener dog races. And I was like, what is that? And there is a semi-pro or, you know, like, what do you call it?

Minor league hockey team in her town. And they have a rink. And in between the three. Not on the ice. On the ice. Dachshund races on the ice. First, there's a heat with like 30 of them. And then they winnow it down to like seven or eight it was really pretty great i'm not all for animals but i'd like to do one of those things in

the snow with the huskies pulling you that looks like something yeah yeah it looks like would be i feel bad i'm too fucking yeah i wouldn't i would do but they always tell you they like you better throw on a few more dogs. Yeah. But they always say they like it. Yeah, I don't know. They seem to. They seem to, yeah. But I have a wife who's a vegan. It's very hard to do cruel animal things in front of her.

Yeah, yeah. I have a wife that's a vegetarian, so I can be meaner than shit to eggs and cheese. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. She doesn't care. My wife will eat a free-range egg that she sees the chicken lay in a happy environment. So I have a friend who has chickens.

So what I do is I bring back eggs in a brown bag that are just from the shops. And I say that I've been down to Todd's house if I want to cook eggs. Right, right, right. Dog redesignated to Cuba. You said a Castro Kelpie? Castro Kel right. Dog breed that is native to Cuba. You said a Castro Kelpie. Castro Kelpie. Can't be right. This is the one Havanese.

Ah, you Havanese. God damn it, I'm out of here. I don't even know what that looks like. It's like Havanese. It's one of those little long-haired kind of ones. Which dog was breed for bull baiting? Oh, yeah, they're a cute dog. They're the ones you put a bow on the top of its head.

Yes, exactly. It's one of those ones. Okay, this is one. Dogs that need to be sheared or trimmed. My dog has to be. I know, but surely they should. I guess it's been 15,000 years of us bloody having them, so we've been doing it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's the same as sheep get to this big if if we leave them my brother had a dog and i don't know if he's listening but i can say it now the dog's been dead for about a decade called snowy snowy was a schnauzer i don't know if i ever met a dumber animal right snowy the schnauzer are they regarded for being stupid this dog was as dumb as a rock no they're not i think they're just sort of normal. It might have just been like people, like you get a random thicko. Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

A thicko. I've known you a long time. I've never heard you say thicko. It's a day-to-day thicko. I've become very Australian. I'm going to be using that. You've got agos and thickos. Some people are double.

Double ag, double o. I like in Australia that they put whys on everything that they like and ohs on everything that is meant to be shitty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or there's something that's very dangerous and terrible to put the whys. They call the biker gangs, it's some ethic on bikies.

Bikies. I'm always like, that sounds adorable. What's the plant that'll kill you? The gimpy gimpy? There's a town called gimpy, if that's what you're referring to. No, there's that plant. What's the plant that people have killed themselves at? The gimpy gimpy?

Yeah, yeah, we did it in the book. Gimpy gimpy plant. Yeah, gimpy gimpy. It'll kill you. I hope it doesn't cripple you, because that's really insensitive. That would, I imagine. It doesn't kill you. That's really insensitive.

It's one of your legs, that's what we're going to want. Bring out the gimpy gimpy. No, I would imagine that's an Aboriginal word, the gimpy gimpy. Australia's gone very, so when I was growing up, things were called westernized names

that the Europeans came over and named, and now we're going back to the Aboriginal names. I think it's cool, man. Like all the ruins that are Ayers Rock and things like that. The dog breed that was once used for bull baiting is known for its strong last year build you said a bulldog as if it's bulldogs bull terriers staffordshire bull terriers staffies yeah and they're all bull baiting so they were used to get the bull i don't even know what that

means so a staffordshire bull terrier would have to come from saffordshire right which is in the north of england and then so is that indigenous or is that just where it was bred the whole time? I don't know. Well, there is bear baiting too. And it's just basically they'd sic dogs on animals and then I think you would bet on who would come out the winner. They don't deserve dogs. Every now and again when you get a dog that's got a bit of wolf in it

or a little bit of dingo in it, which is like wild dogs. People always, oh, watch out for that dog. It's got a bit of dingo in it. And you're like, they're all wild animals in its own right. I wouldn't be prejudiced against one that's got a bit of dingo. Well, you know, you've got to kind of play the odds. You know, like there are people who people who i've got a bit of scottish in me and i'm that's a lot of shame for right right right and you're cheap i like the

scottish coming to two of you soon see you then well like my my my son his grade school uh they were like i don't know what the name of this it was like but there they had a mascot dog that would come to like school spirit day. And it was like half wolf. It looked like the biggest husky you've ever seen. And kids would absolutely climb on that thing like a jungle gym. Right.

And it just was absolutely fine and loved it, you know. But then I know other people that have had wolf hybrids where it's like, oh, don't touch him. You know, like, don't do that, you know. But that's any, you know. It's for people. My dog's like oh don't touch him you know like don't do that you know but that's any you know it's for people my dog's just big and i tell him because he gets snappy if he doesn't know you although i treat a dog nice it'll treat you nice yeah but it's shown love its whole life but there are some things like i had and i have a personal a personal history my daughter when she was about seven years old got bitten face by a pit bull right

rottweiler no it's not fun i'm a little suspicious of those dogs and when people say it's just the owner it's just it's not the dog i'm like yeah but we did we bred them to bite bulls in the face you know like it's like saying you know well, well, the Newfoundland, it's not a good swimmer. Like, no, it is a good swimmer because we made it for that. And we made these dogs. We, like, chose which ones to breed based on their aggression. And, you know, and yes, they're sweeter than sweet. How is your daughter now with dogs?

Is she okay? She was fine, like, at that time. How is your daughter now with dogs? Is she okay? She was fine at that time. She's 18 now. Yeah, yeah. And she was, at that time, like when it was hard, we went to Children's Hospital immediately as they were stitching up her face. And they had different videos that she could watch. And she chose the dogs.

Like, you know, like dogs or cartoons or, or you know something else and she chose i want to see the puppies so she loves dogs it may it has made her but you know she went up and asked can i pet that she did everything right yeah yeah and it's still just kind of she did get too close to his face you don't want everyone to you know like if you get a kid don't let your kid put their face and i was standing there and was about to go and it it had already happened right and um but i you know i've met plenty of pitbulls that i absolutely love but i don't think i would ever have one i i i feel the same way about pitbulls i don't want to eradicate them off the earth or anything like that but in the uk they do they're you can't have them yeah they're banned in certain

countries and all that type of stuff and i just just feel like, yes, everyone goes, it's the owner, not the thing. But it just so happens, in my experience, and this is just off the eye check on my day-to-day viewing, that not all pit bulls are cunts, but there are a lot of cunts who own pit bulls. The owners, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There's a guy by my kid's school that has a beautiful pit bull

that seems very sweet and very friendly but he has like this chain around its neck yeah there's a hardware store chain that you could like dock a fucking yacht with yeah yeah and it's just like fella come on he also has one of those three-wheel cars right with the two wheels there's a little bit of a middle finger to the world when you get a pit bull there's a little Fella, come on. He also has one of those three-wheel cars, right, with the two wheels in the front. There's a little bit of a middle finger to the world when you get a pit bull. There's a little bit where you say, and I know people, look, write your fucking thing. People are going to write, but...

Yeah, I'm not going to read it. I know. Okay, let's keep going. Forrest, I looked up bull baiting, and every image that came up had dogs just flying through the air. Jesus. I know, so bull baiting's bad. Yeah.

I leave the bulls alone. That's for everybody. The bulls, the dogs, nobody likes it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd say we were there first. We did a gig in Lisbon, Portugal. Yeah. And our backstage area smelled like bullshit.

And the reason for that is they had bull fighting the day before we were there. Oh, jeez. That's what it is. I was in a bull ring. It was round. It was sawd is. I was in a bullring. It was sawdust everywhere and all this stuff, round. It looked like a gladiator.

It looked like the theater from the film clip for Thunderstruck. Yeah. You know, like when ACD, they're all sort of standing on top and there's that wall of people. Oh, the Thunderdome.

Yeah, yeah. You mean Thunderstruck. No, Thunderstruck. Oh, yeah. That's Tina Turner. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember, yes. Yeah, it did look like that.

And there was just the smell of, literally the smell of bullshit in the air. Yeah, yeah. We walked in and you were like, what the fuck is that? It's like, I've got some food for you backstage. First steak.

The billboards were like, me, bullfight. Good show. Yeah, yeah. What breed is known for its butterfly ears and was a favorite among European royalty? You said a corgi.

Do you know this one? It would be papillon. Yeah, yeah. Because that's the French word for butterfly. Like that movie. Okay, a couple more questions here. So why did the queen like the corgis? Have the corgis been a renowned thing forever?

And what's happened to her corgis? Does Charles give a fuck? I don't know if Charles gives a fuck. Well, first of all, I'm sure that somebody did most of the care. There was probably just somebody whose job was Corgi Wrangler. I reckon you had a couple of people. Or three, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. But I think that it's a very aristocratic thing. And in fact, I think there's a scene in something, probably The Crown, where she's talking to her uncle that abdicated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Nazi one, the one that used to hang out with Hitler a bit. And he was Pugs and she was Corgis. And I think even in that she says, like, they're quite gassy.

But, like, it's a thing with the aristocracy to pick a breed and then surround yourself with a thousand of them. What is your opinion on purebreds versus lack of a better term mongrels yeah um i well i mix mixed breeds i i mean i think i i'm not gonna you know people if people want to do dog breeding and you know like i'm not going to be like oh that's uh you know no it's we do it it's's fine, you know. Yeah. But I would not, I would only get a rescue dog. Yeah. My wife's big on the rescue dogs as well.

Yeah. There's just so many. And I mean, you don't have to just let, you know, like I've always had good luck with them. But, you know, like I kind of went and like, I didn't just like pick one out of a book or something. It's like you go and you hang out for a little while, and you're like, oh, this guy seems cool.

My guy looks like a breed. My guy is a very good-looking dog. And people are like, what is he? I'm like, he's a mutt. Got him at a rescue. Yeah, my dog is the same way. Like people, mixed race are the best looking. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because my dog looks like a Greek. You give me a little bit of something, and I go from whatever I am, a four to a six. You've seen him? My dog sees it. I know, I know. He's very handsome. He's very good looking.

When I walk him through the casinos when I'm working in Vegas, people are just like, I'm like, do not, no. No, stay away from him. What breed is known for its corded coat that resembles dreadlocks? Watchamapoodle is not the right answer. Watchamapoodle. Yeah. It's a pooly or a common door. I think there's two of them. Oh, yeah Watchamapoodle. It's a Pooley or a Commodore.

I think there's two of them. No, I don't know that dog. The dreadlock dogs. Which breed is commonly referred to as the nanny dog due to its trauma? And look up Commodore with a K. K-O-M-O-N-D-O-R. I think it has that too. Commodore?

That sounds like a leader group. Yeah, they must fucking you know all the answers andy they must get enough you're gonna know they must get shit in their fur right oh well that yeah that but you know what actually that kind of fur it repels brambles and keeps them very very warm those are absolutely high mountain uh really stock your stock guarding yeah because they could walk through thorny stuff. Absolutely.

You know what dog I like? I like a St. Bernard. Yeah. They're sloppy. I'll tell you who has a big-ass fucking dog. What could Patterson have? The two biggest dogs I've ever seen. Yeah.

Find out what his dogs are. Probably a Great Dane or something. No, they're big. They're great. They chew through bones. He throws a leg of lamb out there and just eats the bone and everything. It devours the whole thing. These are fucking monsters.

Because I know. I've never seen dogs like them. I've never seen anything like them. There's some kind of Russian dog that like, like there's, I was at, there's some studio that does like internet stuff that I did a, played virtual golf with Matt walsh for charity and the studio owner's dog has a fucking lion like some kind of right it looks like you know it looks like a uh some kind

of like you know mastiffy kind of dog but it's like a lion yeah yeah big bloody monster of a dog um if there was a human living inside of it, you wouldn't be surprised. What breed is commonly known as a nanny dog due to its general protective nature of children? You said the pit bull is a joke. Not knowing Andy's story. If I knew that story, I probably wouldn't have poked fun at it.

Is it a golden retriever? This says Staffordshire bull terrier, actually. Oh. Oh, I don't know if a Staffie's good or a Kitsa. Because I said it's gentle around children or something. Maybe it is. Staffordshire bull terrier looks like a little dog that's been taking roids. Yes.

I would have called this guy a pit bull, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so maybe not. It's a pit bull that's a little smaller. Chat GPT gave us this. And the last question, what breed is known for its unique split nose, giving it almost a double-barreled appearance?

Do you know this one? I don't know this one. This says the cattle burin or Turkish pointer is known for its split and all that. Turkish pointer. Yeah, all right. I should have spoke too soon, Andy. I'm sorry.

You got one. No, no. Oh, wow. It does have a split nose. Look at that. Oh, yes. I've never even heard of that. Oh, wow. Yeah, wow, it does have a split nose. Look at that. Oh, yes. I've never even heard of that. Oh, wow.

Yeah, that is a weird... Split down the middle of the head. That dog looks like it's standing on the side of a mirror. Yeah. It looks like a russiark. I'll tell you a good dog movie to watch. There's a movie from Australia called Red Dog. Nice movie.

It's the same as Bluey. There's red and blue versions of that dog. And it's basically- Does it involve someone dying at the end? No. No, it's just a nice story. Nice story. That is a good dog movie.

It's like every dog movie is like this. The dog, the owner dies. The dog visits the grave for the rest of its life. There's a statue in Edinburgh of a little tiny Scottish terrier that kept on visiting. It's the Greyfriars Bobby. And there was a Disney movie made of it, then another Disney movie made of it.

It's a famous thing. I remember that movie, yeah, seeing that when I was a kid. The Greyfriars Bobby. And then there's another one that Richard Gere has, like a husky. It's from, there's a dog in Japan. And that's the English version of the Japanese movie. And the dog kept on going to the train station, waiting for him to come back all the time. And that's the English version of the Japanese movie. That's the English version of the Japanese, yeah. And the dog kept on going to the train station

waiting for him to come back all the time. This one's not like that. It's just the story of a red dog from the outback who was basically a homeless dog that maybe didn't have an owner or something that the town decided was their dog. Yeah. And it went to different houses and got fed

and people would clean and sometimes it would stay in this dog and sometimes it would stay here and sometimes it wouldn't. And it's a true story and there's a statue of the dog that like it touched the hearts of this community so much that the dog is revered yeah but it's called red dog that's nice yeah it's it i having a uh a small child again because i have two waves of children uh and uh but it really is like trying to show her old, like Milo and Otis, you know that movie?

Yeah, I love Milo and Otis. It's fantastic, but when you watch it now with a small kid and you're sort of just more attenuated and stuff, and the same thing, The Incredible Journey, about this Siamese cat, the Labrador. Yeah, I love that one. And there's another kind of dog. I remember, two dogs and a cat.

And you watch those two, and just knowing what you know about like the way they shoot movies like milo and otis they must have gone through like 50 yellow cats because there's just like a scene where it's just like holy shit they just threw a cat in a running rapids of a river like a cat fucking freaking out. And the same thing with The Incredible Journey. Yeah, yeah, it's Homeward Bound, The Incredible Journey. It's an American bulldog or pit bull. No, bulldog, right, right, right.

Golden Retriever and a Himalayan cat. I love that movie. But they just drop. The littlest hobo and Benji. But Lassie's your classic, right? Yeah, yeah. But in Australia, and we've talked about this before, but have you ever heard of the show Skippy?

Mm-mm. Skippy is the australian version of lassie or whatever and it's about a kangaroo and the kangaroo is not a smart animal no it's a it's a big rodent basically yeah yeah but it's adorable right and it's got its own thing going on jumping right um swiping your testicles off yeah exactly yeah exactly. Selling its scrotums at the airport as a coin pouch. It does things, right? Sure, sure. But then Skippy, the bush kangaroo, as it's called,

he solved crimes and all that stuff. But Skippy, he started off as just like he'd come along and go, and they'd go, what's this? Oh, there's criminals down near the well. Oh, they've got Mary. And this is live action? Yeah it was a live action show But then eventually Skippy just started Playing the drums and answering phones

So that's just a kangaroo but I think You'll see some dead kangaroo arms here Yeah but this is the whole thing they used to just go out in the bush And cut a kangaroo arm off and they'd go Where is it? They'd hold a map out and then the Paw would come up and go i got it yeah it was dialing a phone in one of them yeah yeah um okay and that's like that's like the i want to racist, that's like the derogatory term that non-white Australians will call white Australians.

We'll call them skippies, skips. Here he is playing the drums. I don't have it hooked up anyways. That's all right. We can edit this bit down. But you've got to see the full motion of Skippy. Who's this band he's playing with? There'd be some Australian band

that was like- Easy Beats. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Easy Beats. Yeah, that's Australian, yeah. There you go, here it comes. Bruh. Wait. There's a guy playing a wash tub.

I don't know if I told you. They brought back Skippy in the 90s. They said, oh, we'll bring back Skippy, but we have to make it more realistic because this is silly. No one wanted to watch it. We only wanted to watch the unrealistic. Of course.

Was he solving gritty crimes? Well, Skippy Park was Nick, because it was filmed in Sydney in the national park near where I lived, right? And so once a year they'd take you out to Skippy Park on a school excursion when you were like under eight, you know what I mean? And you'd all go up to Skippy Park. And koala parks are fun zoos because you can picnic and the kangaroos are jumping around you. Yeah, yeah.

Like you're immersed in the animals a lot more. And every year they would bring out. Now, Skippy was filmed in the animals a lot more and uh every year they would bring out now skippy was filmed in the 70s right this they would have used 47 skippies in an episode right they go all right kids this is the original skippy they bring it out you you come home like this met the original one mum did you oh yeah they had the original one, Mom. Did you? Oh, yeah, yeah. They had the original one right there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, this is a part of our show called Dinner Party Facts. I don't know if I told you about this, Andy, but this is like we ask our expert to give us a fact, something obscure, interesting about the subject that they could use to impress people. Is there anything that pops in your head about dog breeds that would fall into that?

Well, I've given a few sort said a few. You've given a lot. Sort of like of my bullshit dog breed knowledge. If you don't, it's my fault, because I forgot to. Yeah, yeah. Let me think. No, but I mean, I've given all kinds of nonsense. You have.

I like that Dalmatians are dumb. Yeah, Dalmatians are dumb. Irish Setters are pretty stupid too. And I'm amazed. Like the thing, when I was a kid, and this isn't part of that fact, but I'm just mentioning Irish setters. I have these things, like it seemed like every third family had an Irish setter when I was a kid.

And now I just don't ever see any Irish setters. Yeah, I don't see them either. The fashionability of dogs is so weird you know like just with these living creatures these engineered living creatures that are our best friends you know and they come and go and fashion you know and being fashionable the ones you see now shiba inus yeah but i heard those are not like i think vets don't or they're always, the doge dog died last week. What doge? Oh, the actual doge dog, yeah. The actual photo of the dog that became the doge coin.

But I heard Shiba Inus are tough dogs. Yeah, the Shiba Inu who was doge is dead. When online, they'll interview vets. Which is the dog that you breed, you leave it like a zebra or a husky or a Shiba Inu? Shiba Inu, yeah, Shiba Inu is, well, in Japan, they call them the bear cat. And apparently they have a very cat-like, which means, I don't give a fuck what you want from me, kind of personality. You know, they just kind of do what they want to do.

And then there's also, they also are like, you know, when left cooped up, I just remember there being a story about a shiba inu that in like within the span of like a morning dug through the wall both interior and exterior of a house jesus just like broke through the drywall and then out through whatever the siding and whatever was there and just ran away if a dog wants to get out really wants to get out it'll it'll tunnel yeah it'll they'll tunnel under a fence all day. They look like that, too. Their face looks like they don't give a fuck.

Yeah, yeah. Like, that's, yeah. All right, well, thanks for being here, Andy. Sure, thanks for having me. The podcast is The Three Questions with Andy Richter on the Team Coco Network. Instagram is at Richter, Andy, spelled out. And the new call-in show can be heard on Sirius XM. Is there a name to it or is it just... Just the Andy Richter Colin

show. We workshopped a lot of names. No, I called it that and then we had a meeting of like, well, should we think of other names? I'm like, go ahead and think of them, but I'm gonna say no. The same thing, the Jim Jefferies show we went through about 15 fucking names before we were just like, oh, fair.

Right. What's new with? It's like you said, you can't be replaced then. Tuesday's coming. Yeah. The news. I had a show called Andy Richter Controls the Universe. Yeah.

Which was originally called Anything Can Happen because the concept was that I'm telling the story and I would tell things not as they actually happen you might back up and then find out that I was lying or whatever kind of Rashomani kind of stuff and they did they wanted my name in the title Fox was like no you gotta have it which I was like oh what if it sucks and uh and so I was they they hired somebody to come up with a million names and I came up with Andy Richter controls the universe because I wanted it to seem grandiose, like no one could take it seriously.

But it's a terrible name because no one ever gets it right. Andy Richter controls the world. Andy Richter runs the planets. But things only sound genius when they... Okay, so whoever pitched Seinfeld that like now of course it's synonymous right it's a great name for a sitcom but the first time Seinfeld I haven't even met a person with the second name Seinfeld my whole life yeah well the worst one is everybody loves Raymond that's just awful I think that was at the time I was like in reaction to that it was just like

oh god can you imagine i'm sure ray romano is soothed by his gazillion dollars oh no andy doesn't like my name raymond i i bet that that had to be mortifying especially everyone hates chris yeah yeah that was a reaction to that remember ray romano's next show was called men of a certain age i like men of a certain age i'm i'm over that certain age it was targeted for me yeah i was like it was very vague men of a certain you get it right yeah yeah and it was and it was him andre bauer who's now dead and the guy from uh fucking scott bacula uh who who's good macula fan back there i love this i love you just met him scott back scott bacula never disappoints if he's in something it's gonna be all right yeah he puts a bit of polish on something i like scott

bacula all alright well thanks for being here Andy everybody check out his new show on SiriusXM the Andy Richter Colin Show and Three Questions

with Andy Richter on the Team Coco Network thank you so much for coming Andy thank you that was a banger man it's always good when we have comics

who actually know something we've had a few on that are just like having a go and I was told Andy doesn't know if he's that much of an expert

man you kicked every expert's ass you know stuff don't worry about it you're fine all right ladies and gentlemen if you're ever at a party and someone comes up to you and they say hey the Dalmatians a smart dog go well I don't know about that and walk away good night Australia