I Don't Know About That - Dog Psychology

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

Our expert Linn Boyke (@linnboyke) was the real alpha of the IDKAT pack today with his knowledge of how dogs think. Check out Linn's podcast "The Dog Psychology Podcast" on all podcast platforms and visit his website www.linnboyke.com for more info. We also wish Kelly a great farewell to the podcast farm upstate. Kelly's still alive; this was just her last episode with us. ADS: JAMES ALLEN: Get 25% off your order when you go to www.jamesallen.com and use code IDKAT! BETTER HELP: Visit www.betterhelp.com/IDK today to get 10% off your first month.

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What genre should Jack be in as a movie star? Well, you might find out. I don't know about that with Jim Davies. I've had a wonderful... What have I done this week? I've done... I passed the kidney stone. That was last week.

Congratulations. Yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh, my wife did one of those things this morning where she woke up and she accused me of having an affair with Gal Gadot. Oh. Gal.

At least she has faith in you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of a compliment. You were like, holy shit. She's like, I am? She's like, she goes, you were having sex with Gal Gadot.

She was still sleepy like this. And I'm like, honey, I can't get Gal Gadot. Let's be honest. If my wife's listening, if Gal Gadot tries to have sex with me, I will have an affair with Gal Gadot. But until that moment, I have not had an affair with gal gadot but i've been doing some fun things i've been like whenever my my uh wife walks in the room i act like i'm still on the phone to gal gadot i'm trying to hang up i'm like she comes downstairs i'm like yeah no no she doesn't know anything look you know you're always my gal gadot but here she

comes right now um real quick here you got some dates coming up. Cincinnati, Ohio, October 19th, 2023. Yeah. I don't know why I said 2023. October 20th, Chicago Theater, and October 21st, Chicago Theater. We just canceled, and I don't know if, like, I'm in the process of canceling. I'm going to cancel the gig in Israel. Yeah, of course.

It's just, sorry, you know, I just double booked. I don't think you need to explain that one. Then you'll be in Galway, Ireland October 25th and 26th and then New York,

New York, November 2nd and 3rd. So nice. The name is twice. JimJeffries.com, go there. If you are listening to this and you're in the San Diego area,

this weekend I'll be at Mic Drop, the 13th and the 14th. Please come out to the Mic Drop Comedy Club and see Floreshaw. I really appreciate it. And big announcement today, Jim. Kelly. Kelly's leaving the podcast.

Kelly. Kelly's going off to live a life. It turns out that the world of podcasting Doesn't pay for everything And she can't have her days free Just to dick around with us And we completely understand And we're going to miss Kelly very much

Kelly, you got anything you want to say? Yeah, just thank you so much Oh God, I'm going to cry Thank you so much for letting me do this And I've had so much fun And thanks to everybody for being nice to me. I mean, fuck you all who were not nice to me. We love you.

There have been a lot. A lot of our listeners have been so fucking nice to me. The comments have gotten nicer. We love you, Kelly. We're going to miss you. And we wish you all the best in the future. And if the podcast ever becomes successful, we'll have you on as a guest you can be an expert in the early episodes

yeah i really don't think i could honestly yeah it's gonna suck um i i was i was saying uh I could honestly yeah it's gonna suck I was I was saying the last episode you were out of town but I was

just that you're not being here I was like why aren't the answers populating on here I'm like oh fuck I was like he looks at me

and you're judging confidence I go fuck it was all off all you had to do was come up with a number you're like no Jack and Forrest's workload has increased. Mine has remained the same.

Sounds like it seems fine to me. So, see ya. We'll see how long you want to keep doing this format for. Maybe just to talk. Forrest has already come to me with an idea. I've got an idea just to mix things up. I should be the one guessing the answers. You book the guests.

Yeah, I've had so much fun. So thank you for letting me do this with you guys. Well, it's not over yet. We have a fun podcast to do. We've got some ads. Wait, also, our guest from the Kinky History episode, Esme, her book is coming out soon. It's available for pre-order. It's called Kinky History.

So you can check that out. Oh, you know who I should give a shout out to is Mike. Mike, forgot your last name, but he's a fan. He gave us some Chick-fil-A free sandwiches. Yeah, Chick-fil-A free sandwiches. Where? He didn't give them to me. He gave them to Forrest.

No, no, I gave some to you. No, no, no. Forrest gave it to me Forrest passed I met him on a plane any Chick-fil-A anywhere he works for Chick-fil-A oh

I thought he like gave it to you there's just vouchers for free sandwiches oh that's sick I was on a plane with Dave Williamson and Luis Castillo

and we were going to Key West and I got up and he just was looking at me weird and I thought I was like bouncing in my chair so I'm like oh sorry and he goes

hey no I saw Dave back there big fan of the pocket i go oh cool and then he handed me some chick-fil-a like he works for them like free sandwich cards i love that he carries it carries but i thought i was annoying him turns out anyways mike i'm sorry i have your last name somewhere in there but thank you very much yeah oh it's mike thank you mike filet Thank you, Mike Filet. You're the best. All right. Let's meet our guest. Please welcome our guest, Lynn Boeke. G'day, Lynn. Now it's time to play...

Yes, though. Yes, though. Yes, though. Yes, though. Judging a book by its cover. All right. Is the topic... That's not Buddha. Buddha's Mate. Is is the topic Buddha's Mate?

Is that the topic? No, but you've met Lin once. Is he Buddha's Mate? No. Lin actually sat in on a podcast in our old studio. That's a hint for you, if you remember that. One near your house. One near your house. One near my house.

Yeah, he came in there. He came in there. He sat in. Yeah. We didn't have a lot of guests sitting in there. Just for fun. Yeah, just because, yeah, he's my friend. Oh, he was one of our guests. He was not.

Oh, well, then I'm not going to remember that. Ask him some questions. All right, Lynn. Oh, golly. So you're friends with Forrest. I know Forrest's friends. Is it something to do with the entertainment business? Not exactly, no.

No, not exactly the entertainment business. Is it something to do with marine life? No. I would have argued that's the entertainment business. They're the only ones who do tricks. Is it health related? Not physical health. No.

Okay, so it's mental health related. It is mental health related. That will throw you off the hook for sure. That's not going to help you., well, it does help you, but I think you're going to go in a different direction. Is it addiction? No. I'll give you a hit now.

When Lynn came in and sat in the studio, he walked in with Arnie. Oh, he's a dog guy. He's a support animal advisor. What? Arnie's not a support dog. He'd be the worst support dog. He'd be the worst support dog ever. I've seen some fucking bad ones I'm playing.

I've seen some ones that I'm like, I don't know, that one's not supporting anyone. Okay, we're talking about dog psychology today. Right, dog psychology. Yes. Right, okay. All right, that's a thing?

It is. Yeah, that's what we're doing. Okay, all right. Lynn Boakey has been working with dogs since 1997, and in 2000, Lynn started his journey in dog psychology focusing on pack work to rehabilitate dogs. In 2004, he began teaching dog trainers, helping them to understand dog psychology to improve their businesses.

And in 2006, he officially opened his school of dog psychology. Wait a minute, whose businesses are they improving? The dogs? The dogs run a business? Whose business? That's a question mark. of dog psychology. Whose businesses are they improving? The dogs? The dogs run a business? Whose business? That's a question mark. The dog trainers. Oh, the dog trainers.

Oh, their business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that makes more sense. Corporate environment. Yeah, I didn't know that there's just a dog on the side of the road selling lemonade. Yeah, he spins that sign around. You can go to Lynn's website.

It's lynnbokey..com, and Bokey is spelled, everything is spelled L-I-N-N-B-O-Y-K-E. That's lynnbokey.com. His Instagram and YouTube are at lynnbokey, and his podcast is the Dog Psychology Podcast. Lynn, why don't you tell us a little bit more about what you do, like a day-to-day basis, and what services you offer and stuff like that. And is your house all in black and white just for dogs or is this a coincidence? I love the color black and the next color

that sits well with it is white, so. Well, not historically. That's pretty much all I have. That's all I know. We're getting there. Black and white. So yeah, tell us a little bit more about, what you do with your business and a day-to-day thing and, you know. At this age now and this amount of time in, I basically am a consultant to dog trainers. I travel to help dog trainers.

trainers i also like to or i do travel to work with dog owners wherever they are in the world and do a real intensive in-home uh intervention like i did with forest and uh arnie and i do uh workshops seminars and and uh online courses mentoring face-to-face so he did work some miracles with arnie honestly honestly. Oh no, no, that's a much better than seriously troubled. I'm just amazed that you, you, you made forest use a toilet,

right? Well, I had to have a bag. Yeah. Colostomy. But the, the, the thing that with Arnie is that he's great and most dogs are great.

It's the owners that we have to work with. That's where the psychological part really comes in. Don't get me started. Don't touch Forrest with two hands. I'm nice once you get to know me. Don't get in there in the fur too close to his mouth. I once was on a plane, and the dog whisperer, what's his name? Cesar Millan.

Cesar Millan. Cesar Millan. He's actually my mentor. Well, he was, I'm going to call him out. I think that Cesar Millan was bullshitting me. Right, because Cesar Millan's on a plane and he had a support dog. Now, does he have like 15 of those

so he can travel around the country with all of his dogs or is there one that he decides is really supportive because i'm all for people this i'm not all for people in the support animals you're very much i'm very much against it i'm very i think i i think it does it's like people with celiac disease one in 100 people who say they have it actually fucking have it right so so here folks yeah you heard it in me first go shit yourself. Anyway, so,

but with the support animal, and I love dog. I love all animals. I love animals. I'm an animal lover, right? I see Cesar Millan on there with his one dog and I'm like, ah, come on.

That cunt doesn't need support. He's telling everyone else how to get support. How can he go on a plane with a support animal with a straight face? I mean, if you're going to complain about anybody

having a dog, you'd want it to be Cesar Millan who has a well-trained animal with a straight face? I mean, if you're going to complain about anybody having a dog, you'd want it to be Cesar Millan who has a well-trained animal. Oh, the dog was very well-behaved. The only thing that sucks is when people abuse it and don't have a trained animal. I'm just saying that I don't believe Cesar Millan has a confidence problem where he needs a dog on a plane. You think because he's a good dog trainer he doesn't have mental health issues? I don't think he needs a dog.

I think he sees dogs all day. Lynn wanted to know which dog. I'm right there with you. I don't think the support animals are fully necessary. It wasn't like a bulldog, but it was a bigger, sort of like it was in the bull gene. It was like a Staffordshire bull terrier or a French bulldog or something like that.

It looked a little down. I wouldn't say it was completely blue. But then you need a psychologist for sure. Why, do you know the dog, Len? Well, if it was the blue one, yeah, it was Junior. But I'm not sure when this was that you met him on the flight. I didn't meet him. I just walked past him with a support.

It had the jacket on there. It had the jacket on there. It had the jacket on there, and I was a little bit dubious. I went, you know. I'm not sure how he did that. I think you have good mental health, Cesar Millan. Is that his name? I'm not really sure how he did that, but maybe he had a special teaching the dogs.

Oh, everyone. No, look, look. He's also got the advantage of everyone was so excited to see him with a dog. Right. So everyone on the plane, no one was angry except for me. Standard. Everybody else on the plane was like, oh, wow.

And like, you know, you had to, like, if that dog was a complete cunt and was just pissing and biting and running around, he would have lost all credibility. Yeah, true. Like, he's putting his balls on the line by taking a dog out anyway. But no, I just think it's abuse of dog privilege. All right, let's start the podcast here. I think it might be right there.

If everybody else can do it, I should be able to do it. I have a registered support camel. I literally do. I really do have a registered support camel. A camel? In two places. On the Jim Jeffery show, we registered a camel under Jim's name, a support camel. I have him. And it shit all over the stage.

I have a jacket for him and everything, and I'm allowed to take him in shopping malls and all sorts of weird things. Do you ride him or just leave him in? I don't know him. I only had him for an hour. I have no reference to where he might be dead, but I think we even gave him a different name for the purpose of the show,

but they gave us the bloody support jacket. So I think I'm allowed basically any camel as long as I've got the thing. You know what I mean? I don't know if the certificate said one or two hump. That could throw me out. Then maybe I'm only allowed 50% certificate said one or two hump. That could throw me out. Then maybe I'm only allowed 50% of camels on Wednesdays. That camel has been in a lot of television and movies.

But we didn't know it at the time, I guess. We rented them and the trainer brings them in. You guessed we rented them. And I was standing next to Matt Kirshen and there was like a next to a camera operator Matt goes yeah but you don't uh shoot camels that often do you and he goes I've shot this same exact camel five times this is like the Hollywood camel you knew what he was doing not impressed um all right so here's what we're gonna do Lynn I'm gonna ask Jim a series of questions uh relating to dog psychology and then at the end of him answering these, you're going to grade him on his accuracy,

zero through 10. 10 is the best. Kelly is going to grade him on confidence. I have a new category, not et cetera anymore, Jim. How funny were you? Oh, shit. It's going to get really hectic. The reason I'm doing this is because when you know about a topic, not as funny.

You're really into answering the questions right. When you don't know about it, hilarious. So when we know about the topics I want you to be funnier yeah it's gonna be great it's gonna be it's gonna be controversial

well I think I was funny I think I'm funny when I know about you you're not funny I can already see it going terribly maybe it'll still be et cetera

I can already see a pushback here I'm gonna give you all three the same yeah you should judge us too. At the end, I'll just go, not funny, not funny. It's mildly funny. I don't even have a judging category.

Give me a break. Okay, third category is how hungry am I? You take mine now. Zero through ten, how hungry am I? That's the next category. I'm going to change it to that. How hungry are you? Yeah, yeah.

We're always at a night. If I said something to me the other day, he just said, I've said this to you. He hasn't said this to me before. I have. We've been friends for 15 years. I've said it before. And I was there.

We were talking about days of chicken. And I said, we had all the chicken tenders. And we had like, they call them sliders, but they're big burgers because their chicken tenders are pounded with hormones, right? Anyway, but they're very nice. And I said, you should have that sandwich because, you know, otherwise the cold slore and everything, it'll get all wet and soggy.

You have that first and you have your chicken tenders later. And he said, I've told you before, I don't care for bread. Yeah, it's not. I'm not a big, I'm not like you. I don't think of bread all the time. Yeah, you're a big bread guy. And then Amos was like, what? And he's Australian.

Australians love bread. I'm not like both of you and your bread. far don't give him bread he doesn't like it you'll eat it but he doesn't like it i could go without it i'm fine you could go within why didn't you eat in and out just have the lettuce wraps the amount of calories you'll save i do have the lettuce wraps in and out yeah go keep up the? Yeah. There's other things that are creating me to be fat. Alright, let's get into the questions. What is dog psychology? It's the psychology of a dog. So, it's when you

get a dog, here we go, we're just going to go for funny though. So, when you get a dog, you shave their head so it has a little tiny, little goaty beard like Zygmunt Freud and you make it sit there and it just goes and you go oh yeah and his clinic's called Barking Mad

okay the psychology of a dog is you go why is this one fucking psycho and then you sort of hang out with it a bit and you go oh that's why and then you go why is this one good you don't hang out with the good people so that's always been the problem with like like when you get cured you get rewarded you know what i mean like if you meet like an addict and they go i was a

heroin addict for years people fucking clap but i've never taken heroin and no one's ever clapped me for it i just feel like i've stayed clean forever yeah i feel like i need a lot of i haven't taken heroin. Kudos. I would guess that the way that society treats you is the reward. When you've been addicted to heroin, there's enough of a punishment. I gave up nicotine and no one said shit. That's the hardest one to give up. No one said nothing. When you gave up alcohol, people were really...

Yeah, they're all supportive of alcohol. Do you brag about the nicotine one, though? I just did and none of you stood up. Yeah! I don't need that. What is the difference in training a dog for obedience versus psychology? Okay, so obedience is sit, roll over, act dead, all that type of stuff. And that's like you can do that to like people as well.

Like you go into the army and they break you down so that you can be easily – you can follow rules and stuff like that. Yeah, face rules and that type of stuff. And then a lot of them, when the war's over, have psychology problems and it turns out that being given orders all day didn't help that situation. So I'm just using that as a simile as to why they're different.

No, metaphor is saying it is something else. It was just a comparison. Yeah, it was a comparison. A parallel analogy maybe. Yeah, parallel, parallel parallel parallel um and so so the psychology is like why does this dog like this snack over this snack but only when it gets its tummy rubbed what's all that about okay um what is a dog thinking about um well from the dogs that i have had it's it's uh fucking shoes against their will against the shoes yeah like like a like a boot that's what the dogs i've all owned

they just fuck boots yeah just like i'm gonna i've always had little dogs right and little dogs love to fuck a boot and they're, and they're thinking about fucking a boot, cuddly toys and other things they'll fuck. Just getting dry rooting is all they're thinking of. Even the female dogs? Ah, I had a female dog that used to dry root the cat. Okay. We had this female dog,

and it was all neutered and everything, like all the, you know, it was spaded, right? Yeah. It means we hit it over the head with a spade. So it was just this mentally challenged dog that would go, no, no, no. We had this female dog and we had female cats. And the dog used to, the cat used to be having a sleep and the dog would get on top and dry rub a little bit and the cat would be like.

I like dry rub over sauce better anyway. Yeah, yeah. What are signs of a mentally healthy dog? What's a sign of a mentally healthy dog yeah um well uh they get over relationships without sending nasty texts or anything like that they're just adults about things uh well when when they get passed over at work like they you know they're upset like anyone else does but they don't come in and fucking swear at everybody and shoot the place up. That's good.

What are signs of behavioral disorders in dogs? Behavioral disorders in dogs. They'd be a bit skittish, like that. That might be something that happened when they were younger or something like that. But everybody has a story of like, oh, this dog's like this because this dog was abused. We think it was abused. But then sometimes, even with people, you meet people who weren't abused,

they're a bit skittish. You know what I mean? So it just could be just a straight-up personality problem. I have two cats, right, and they're brother and sister, and I got them at two weeks old, and they've been brought up exactly the same way, and their personalities couldn't be furthered. And they're brother and sister and I got them at two weeks old and they've been brought up exactly the same way and their personalities couldn't be further, and they're identical

and they couldn't be more different animals. What are signs of an aggressive dog? Bite marks. On you? Yeah, that's a real sign. What are signs of a fearful dog? Bite marks on them. Okay.

What are signs of a nervous dog? Nervous dog. Bite marks on them. What are signs of a nervous dog? A nervous dog. Bite marks. No, no, no. He's afraid someone's going to find out where the bite marks came from. Yeah, yeah. A nervous dog is like, I imagine if he could talk, it would sound like Woody Allen.

That's just what I think. I just don't understand. What do I get to treat? I don't understand. When do I get the treats? I don't understand. These big dogs and these small dogs and whatever. Can all dogs be rehabbed

or do some have to be put down? You're going to say all dogs can and blah, blah, blah. Me? I'm not there for that. Some of them need to be put down. If you're a dog

that goes crazy and starts biting on a fucking little baby's face and that happens, you know what I mean? Like attacks a child. There's plenty and that happens yeah i mean like attacks a child like there's plenty of people with with with scars from those can't be rehabbed

i don't what why are we bothering okay what are the four f's of a dog behavior uh fuck fierce furry friends the fuck fierce furry friends yeah what are. What are social behaviors of dogs? What are things they do? Arse sniffing. Very big in the dog community. It never goes out of fashion. They're always up for arsening.

Drinking water is a big one. I think that's a good thing to survive. It's just girls coming up and touching them. Yeah. That's part of their... Instagram models.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whether you get told not to touch the dog or not, the women will come up and go, oh, I'm good with dogs. Yeah, remember that girl who just randomly pet rhino when we were walking in the parking garage

yeah that was weird yeah how do dogs show submission by sitting or laying down how do dogs show dominance by showing their teeth what is resource guarding

that's when you are a drug lord and you have dogs to protect your house that's good yeah yeah like if you look look we've bought drugs before forest yes tell me the times when you've gone to like a legit not like just like a studenty type drug dealer but like a legit drug like there was one in my old house that when i lived in the hills in the hills there there was a drug dealer house house when I lived in the hills. In the hills there, there was a drug dealer house and it was so drug dealer-y and it had the chain link fence out the front

and just big dogs. It always had like some guy and like a Porsche showing up in a suit just a bit sort of jittery, just buzzing on the door like, hey friend, and you know what I mean? Like that drug dealer house.

So that's resource guarding? Yep. What is good body language for a guarding yep what is good body language for a dog what's good body language yeah when you see a dog you're like oh that dog has good body language

what's it like look like or doing oh four legs plus plus okay that's a plus yeah

and if it if it looks at you with its eyes it looks you in the eyes, you can tell a friendly dog. I can tell a friendly dog. I've never been bitten, bitten by a dog.

What about poor body language for a dog? It's when it's just in the begging thing and it's fucking rockets out. It's a little penis? Yeah, it's a little lipstick dick. It's fucking out. That's bad body language? Yeah, it's a little lipstick dick. It's fucking out. That's bad body language? Yeah, and you're like, I don't want to pet that. Okay.

All right. Now, conversely, if you're a human, what is good and bad body language around a dog? Like, what shouldn't you do? Standing on my hind legs with my penis out. That's bad. That's good to be doing on a dog. Bad.

Standing on my hind legs with my penis out with peanut butter on my penis. Okay. What is the human mental age of dogs? So they reckon a pig is smarter than a dog, and they say that a pig has the brain of a three-year-old. And so I'm going to say a mental age of a dog is a two-and-a-half-year-old. Okay.

How do dogs say, like, hello? What is their polite way? He'll say hello or shake hands or something like that what are they what's that yeah yeah i didn't do the categories by the way um are certain are certain breeds of dogs harder to train uh they're going to say no but that's a lot of bullshit man okay when it comes to the dog species, I'm super racist. I feel that some dogs are superior to others. Okay.

Let's hear it. I don't want to tell you which one's which. We can do it. There's definitely some breeds of dogs that are smarter than other breeds of dogs. You could say that. Yeah, but, you know, it's a slippery slope. You know what I mean? But there's definitely like...

Okay, so you got like some dogs are harder workers. This sounds terrible. Do you want to wait till we're answering this? So Bluey, like the dog from the cartoon. The cartoon one. Okay, so Blue Heeler. Blue Heeler, yeah. They are hard workers and they can take orders very well

and they're good for sheep cut and stuff. They have to run all fucking day, right? Where I met a Schnauzer, which I think was historically quite a smart dog, but I feel like they've been inbred so much that this cross-eyed fucking freak was walking into bloody doors. This thing was dumb as a fucking rock. It couldn't hurt itself up.

Right? Okay. So, there are certain breeds. People in the Schnauzer community fucking come at me, bro. Schnauzer community. So, certain breeds are harder to train, you're saying. I would say certain breeds are harder to train. Certain breeds are lazier than others.

Certain breeds have better noses than others. Some breeds have got more love to give. You know what I mean? They've got more love in them. I'll tell you who's a good all-rounder in the dog community. The Labrador. The Labrador can be a guide dog. It's filled with love. love obviously it can take lots of

lessons and all that type of stuff it's happy when it sees you the labrador's right up there but but but the labrador has a tendency to be a fat fuck all right the labrador does not watch its weight it has control issues out the wazoo. If you're eating an ice cream, the Labrador will just eat it right off the cone. So we're all got... I consider myself to be somewhat of a Labrador mix myself. I have a lot of good qualities,

but then I've got a dumb animal like... And I don't want to upset anybody. I'm like Labrador fuck the chihuahua. I've got a bit of skittishness, like the thing. Just yell at bigger things? My nose doesn't work very well, but I'm a slower animal, like a big sausage dog, a big dachshund, a long-haired dachshund. Not one of those short ones.

I used to have one that just used to sit on a step all day, and that was just his step. And then it's like you just had to step over him, and that's where you'd chat to him each day. Hey, I bought an engagement ring. No way. Yeah, I did when I got engaged. Oh.

I bought one. That's a good time for that. And there was a certain type of rock. I did it. Look, I wish I knew about James Allen at the time, but I didn't. But there was a certain style and a color and a setting that my wife wanted, and I had to convince the jewelry store. They were like, this is madness.

And I said, this is what she wants. And then all of a sudden they did it. And then when it came out, they went, this is really beautiful, right? Why don't you get your own engagement ring, completely custom fit? We've got a thing here. You're going to save up to 50% compared to to traditional stores and plus we're gonna give you the code you're gonna save more money again all right I don't know how long this offer will last but I know this Jack what you should buy a guy ring right now

have one ready to go okay everyone ready to go all right so be prepared that you're right I'll have it in my earthquake kit what okay so it'll last as long as the water and all that type of stuff so when you have a girlfriend she's dropping hints right

we've had those right dropping hints hey stop eating so much you're unattractive to me you need to marry me by October yeah yeah

if you don't get married by October I'm gonna go back to my high school sweetheart but you have no clue how to, yeah. If you don't get married by October, I'm going to go back to my high school sweetheart. But you have no clue how to do these things, right? You can't just keep buying yourself time. I just distracted my wife with a set of car keys every now and then. And that lasted for about a year.

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mental unease and therapy is helping me work through those things i think it's an important thing that almost everyone should do it can't hurt to talk to people. And if you've never done therapy and you're thinking about trying therapy, what have you got to lose except for maybe happiness? Do you ever feel like your brain is getting its own way? Like you know what you should do, what's good for you, but you just can't do it. Therapy helps you figure out a way, what's holding you back so you can work for yourself instead of against yourself if i've

benefited from therapy anyone else here done the therapy oh yeah oh yeah all right i need i need even more yes we all do i think forever yeah all right look but this is good because you don't have to like we've talked about it before i i staying at your home being able to do it is more comforting oh i find online therapy far superior to going into an actual place yeah i'm not i'm not trying to knock people who go into play that works for you that works for you you do it works for you but for me especially uh being someone who's always on on the road and then you know being someone that works in different countries and stuff like that i find the the therapy is one of the most stable things in my life that I can rely on when I feel like things are getting out of control.

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It's like, this is like the great gun debate. Oh, my dog's well-trained. Oh, I know what my dog does. Oh, I'm a good dog owner. Yeah. Oh, I'm a bad dog owner. I believe, of course, there are dogs that are perfectly fine to have off-leash, that are well-trained animals, and within certain circles and everything like that

but like if you're at a barbecue or something like that and everyone knows this dog and this dog is fucking caesar milan's fucking dog you know what i mean yes i would say without a train but for the greater good of society put a leash on your fucking dog man okay um lynn how how did Jim do on his knowledge of dog psychology? He's here through 10. 10 is the best. I would say that he put a lot of great effort in there. Thank you. And I want to reward him for that.

I appreciate that. I'll probably give him a five. All right. All right. Good score. Good score. How do you do on confidence, Kelly? I mean, the man knows dog breeds.

Like, he analyzed all of the dog breeds perfectly. I'm giving him a nine on confidence. I know. I've grown up with dogs. His opinions are strong. I know dogs. I've grown up with dogs. I'm good with dogs.

I've never met a dog that really dislikes me. I've got a good quality with dogs. My father has such a good quality with dogs that other people in the street when we were growing up would bring the dogs to our house to let my dad have a look at them. Your dog has a way with animals. My dad has a way with animals, yeah. And my dad has no veterinarians.

Yeah, we've said this before. My father has wild birds fly into the house daily and sit on his shoulder. Yeah, yeah. Wild native animals at the same time every day. Not just come out to his balcony. And you can't walk up to them and they won't do the same thing. No, they won't do the same. I've seen it happen.

Yeah, they fly in, they sit on his shoulder, and he watches a game of the Premier League with them. And he has for these rainbow lorikeets. They're a married couple, they are. They come and visit him every day so five and nine's fourteen you were really funny

thanks I'm really hungry so I'll give you a ten that's that's twenty-four so this is what you got yeah it's a good grade

yeah wait can we hear the rest of the categories that was the best one content dog sounds are just like and then zero to 10 was angry. That's Arnie.

When Luis wants to die. Okay. What is dog psychology, Lynn? Jim said it's the psychology of a dog. When you shave their head, you give it a beard. What's dog psychology? Why don't you tell us? I'm shocked that he didn't mention the couch.

But dog psychology really focuses more on the needs of who they are as a species through the instinctual side of them, the psychological, the social sides of them, and the physical sides of them. And it's more of a communication with who they are rather than teaching them something through conditioning, like sit, roll over, play dead speak. And you don't have to name the breed,

and you don't have to say the type of person either, but would you say there's a certain breed of dog that wankers attract, right? In the same way, there's certain, okay, I'll say, not the F-150, but any truck bigger than that, if you're not working in fucking the construction industry, you're a fucking wanker. You're a fucking wanker. You're driving behind me in your big fucking truck.

Go fuck yourself. You're a fucking loser. I don't have big views on this, right? But is that I have views on certain dogs certain breeds and certain people do you have these views you don't have to say the dog well you know i certain people do like certain breeds all right that's all we need to know no no i got enough right i was dancing around because you know you didn't want to wind anybody out specifically. But, yeah, when you start seeing the really big chains, you know,

that's not healthy. This is all I'm going to say is there's no one who ever collected chihuahuas that is into dog fights. That would be a fun dog fight, though. It would last longer You'd get more bang for your buck I don't think either dog would die A lot less scary

Why haven't we got chihuahua dog fights? Also chihuahuas are snippy little fucks They'd be well up for it It's not like they're going to walk up and fucking pat each other Just starve one for an hour They've got a very small stomach You don't even have to train them to do that Chihuahua dog fights write that down jack new

business idea uh yes he go he's going for it yeah those little dogs they're kind of like uh finger flesh removers so you got to be careful with them those dachshunds those chihuahuas when they get going they'll just uh i saw gabriel iglesias referred to one shower at two hour and this is so i have to say gabriel in this statement so as to me not getting in trouble for saying he called it a mexican doorbell that's awesome um how many times have you been bit, Lynn? Do you know?

I could not tell you. I mean, I have no idea. Oh, wow. And I've had some pretty bad bites, some severe ones. Are these dogs that you're training? Or are these like, when I say, is this like day one, you get bit by a dog or, or how does, how does that happen? I think I got bit by Arnie day one, but it's more about when I, when I work with a dog, no matter what breed, no matter how aggressive or fearful they

are, some of them, I don't want to be bitten. I'll sure i don't but i want them to be able to express how they've been living and the way they see life and the things that they have been communicating how far off and how realistic they may be and so if they bite me it's not personal it's never their fault uh that's just how they've been practicing life. But why do we give them more leeway than we do human beings? Hey, I've got the same questions. There's a bear that killed a family and their dog and they went out and killed the bear. But the humans went into the bear's backyard. Why aren't we doing that to people

who do that to people? Yeah that to people yeah yeah no no no no i'm with you yeah but all right what was the thing i was going to say about the dog bite no carry on if you remember okay what is the difference in training a dog for obedience versus psychology well obedience is all conditioning and so you have to take a human word and teach the dog an action to go along with that and then it's repetition repetition repetition but psychology is finding out like i said with a dog that bites me on day one it's how they've been living they wouldn't normally do this because they aren't getting the outlets that they need and the other things to fulfill their mind and body and so they have these symptoms that come out and so my my job is to go in and find out

what is missing and then incorporate it that into the dog's life through the human and most of the time it's simply a structure do you believe it'll end do you believe it's always how the dog's been living? Or do you think, as I said before, I have two cats brought up the same different personalities I have children, I have nephews, I have nieces I'm a believer that for the most part for 80% of what you are, you just are as you come out That's you, and then 20% is maybe conditioning. I'll shorten this up.

Are there dogs that are just cunts? It depends on your definition of cunt. Yes, there are. There's things in the genes that, you know, the poor breeding, the overbreeding and or something got twisted while they were in the womb and then they come out a specific way but it is their life that determines how intense

they display that quirk or kink that they've got I'm from the same womb my brother is and he'll take an hour and a half to eat his dinner and I'm done in like two minutes so everybody is different brother is and he'll take an hour and a half to eat his dinner and i'm done in like you know two minutes yeah so everybody is different but it is how they perceive that's probably the better way

to look at it how they've been living through perception and of course genes have a big issue there and uh and if it's a big problem then we have to tailor the uh the structure around that management speaking of jeans what what the the great debate how how do dogs wear jeans is it the back two legs or it is the bottom four legs which one which fence are you on there well i've got a dog named long socks so he pulls his socks all the way up to where the jeans would be i I think the back end is where you find the jeans. I would agree. The good jeans. Long socks.

Long socks. We were in a dog park with Arnie, with Lynn, and a woman recognized Lynn. Because it wasn't her dog or it was a friend's dog? Yeah, at first I thought, oh, here we go. I got a social media fan or something. Do you have a dog named Long Socks? And it turns out she was the owner that a colleague of mine was working with. And I saw the post.

I was like, I want that dog. And if it doesn't work out, I'll take that dog. And it didn't work out. And I took the dog. And that was pretty wild. She was crying tears of happiness and I took the dog and that was pretty wild. She was crying tears of happiness because Lynn had the dog and she never thought that the dog would be acting the way it was and she was literally in a

dog park like crying like happiness. What a cool moment. Can I introduce you to my daughters? They would love to say hi. Yeah, it was really cool. And did her daughters behave themselves, or did she bring them up badly as well? Well, they had the masks on, so I think she was doing an all right job. Oh, okay, good, good, good. No, they were sweet.

Now, okay, so I've seen the lions from Siegfried and Roy, and they reckon that these albino tigers and lions, because of inbreeding, they become a bit psycho. With dog breeds, do you find purebreds to be more unmanageable or less intelligent or is this just a bit of a myth these days? There's a couple of ways to look at it. All breeds are inbred. That's the only way you can have them look the same is that they're inbred. It's just important not to inbred them with the brother and sisters. And that close of a breeding system would cause massive problems.

But a lot of people think that if I get a purebred dog, I won't have any problems. But when you get a purebred dog, they're breeding them for the genes of that specific breed. So you might have more problems because now you've got that breed's instincts coming out in a daily life when it should just be on a farm or in a police car working. or in a police car working. So you can get more problems that way, but it doesn't make them smarter just because it's a purebred dog. Two times I've gotten in the suit. The dog's in it? Oh, you have? Twice I've run.

The bite suit? The bite suit. Twice I've done it. Wow. I've done it once in Afghanistan and once with the SAS, which is like the Australian versions of Navy SEALs, in Cottesloe Beach in Perth where they have their base. And both times-

What kind of dogs? German Shepherds. Yeah. Yeah, and the German Shepherds, they fucking, like they give you a head start. And it's already tiring running in that big suit. You're running along like the Michelin Man, like this and then you just hear this thing just running and then boom it bites in but one time through the suit i still had punches in my arm like it wouldn't

get off like it doesn't feel like super powerful like the it's killing you until the owner or the instructor comes and tells it. It's ripping the flesh off your bones until it's told to stop. Yeah, yeah. And then afterwards, even after it's told to stop, it's sitting there like, fucking, I'm ready to go, cunt. Those dogs are very powerful. Very powerful. It's exhilarating because this thing is just running after you so much

and it's still scary yeah and they'll go for the face and the mask they're going for the face when they give up like it's

it's something else but so our friend Rob O'Neill who's who we've spoken about before the man who shot Bin Laden right

yeah Rob O'Neill was telling me that when they parachute in with dogs dogs dig it right so they have the the navy seals have the dog strapped to their chest right and then they have a handle on the dog so they can throw the dog up into vents and stuff if like a terrorist is hiding up an event they just throw the dog over a wall or something like that just throw the dog into it right but he goes as they as they're parachuting down he goes the dog's never happier than in that moment because like you know how dogs like having their heads hanging out car windows falling falling to earth yeah he's as much joy as a dog

could have yeah that was like our paragliding expert he goes paragliding with his dog oh that's right we took that before anything i don't want to destroy your view on that but it's most likely not the the flying through the air that they're loving it's the scent 60 of their brains truth or all the information they get from life the 60 is from their nose and so when you see a dog sticking their head out yeah the wind is cool but man they're just checking everything they can oh wow they can tell it's like the matrix so yeah oh yeah so you know when they're falling towards earth is it just like you the uh every smell on earth coming at them oh yeah that's amazing that would be like ecstasy yeah yeah um that is i was talking about on stage

and i was like that's what I said. I look in the mirror at Arnie. I'm like, I'll never be that happy. It's like bread, man. It's really good. What are dogs usually thinking about? Jim said fucking shoes against their will. Is that accurate, Len?

It's on the top of the list. No, they actually don't think. They have no, not the thinking that we have they react to what's in front of them and most dogs or cats that are humping may not have had a good day of exercise and so they need to drain some energy or relieve some frustration and uh they go for it so you're saying if they exercise more, they'll hump less? Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

If you mentioned the cattle dogs, if we put a random number around herding sheep, if the sheep go five miles, the dogs went 30 miles because they're going all the way around. Do you watch Bluey? Say again? Do you watch Bluey? No, I haven't seen Bluey. It's a cartoon.

It's a cartoon for kids. It's a cartoon for kids about dogs, but it's the most watched TV show on earth. Really? I've not even heard of it. I heard you mention it. I'm going to check it out. It's on Disney+. It's only eight-minute episodes.

If you've got any children or nephews or nieces or whatever, Bluey's a winner. It's good. Well, there you go. Eight minutes is about as all the attention span. Well, this is the thing that's come out about Bluey is that they reckon now that Bluey is made in a pastel color palette, which is like they always say dogs seem black and white, but they can also see these colors that are in Bluey.

Dogs now have started watching Bluey because it's the most colorful show they can watch. That's pretty interesting because they used to be old school TV were tubes. So it just didn't look like anything. But now with the pixels, they can actually see what's on the screen. My dogs react to horses and any animal that's on there. Yeah. And they'll sit and watch it. Oh, is that why when it was tubes versus, okay.

Yeah. Cause it seemed like there's so many videos of dogs watching TV. And I was like, I don't remember my dog watching TV, but yeah. Rhino watches penguin. Anytime I want him to watch TV, I'll turn on penguin town and he watches that religiously. It's great. Um, I use the TV now sometimes to help dogs with reactivity

because it's easy to put it on screen and take it off immediately and interrupt the flow, the reaction, and restart it. So it's a good thing to use. What are signs of a mentally healthy dog? Jim says when they get broken up with, they don't send nasty texts. Yeah. They just call about it. They don't shoot up to place. They just call about it. And if they lose a job, they just go, all right,

well, if you give me a good reference. They leave calmly with all their stuff. That's exactly right. Good mental health is a dog that's very social, not overexcited excited more relaxed uh its composure is is appealing you know it's not like hey and then or what they're very go ahead i apologize no no no no you're actually answering i was about to say something stupid carry on i lost what i was saying i was saying my stupid thing right so my brother's got two dogs and they're boston terriers right oh boy yeah boston terriers they're nice but they're the type of they get on a bit of rope and you pull it with them a bit they love all that type of stuff right um nice dogs wouldn't

bite you anything like that but their farts and i you know look look look if my brother's listening to the podcast i just didn't say anything uh but their farts are horrendous they're as bad a farting animal as i've ever heard i've ever seen is that a trait of a boston terrier and how do we fix it well Well, I think it's the Boston beans that your brother's feeding the dog, but it could just be the diet for real. Some dogs just fart, and it's not necessarily a breed thing, and they don't even know it. They'll fart and they'll chase themselves.

You have to leave every now and again. These two dogs go for it. They're big farters. What's he feeding them? I don't know. I don't know. We don't have Boston baked beans. We have regular baked beans in Australia, but I don't.

I think it's just normal canned food. I'll tell you something about my father. My father's a nice man, and animals love him, but he's always been very mean with how much food he fed them, right? So we had these three cats, and they were meant to get half a can a day and my dad thought they only needed a third a can a day and it was big cat food that was trying to make him overfeed the cats

because they're trying to make their money. And he knows more about the bloody cats and how much they're meant to eat and all that stuff. Anyway, these cats would always like, if you left food on the table for fucking five seconds, they'd come up and snatch it and run away with it, right? If you walked away from your chicken sandwich to go get a drink out of the fucking fridge, that sandwich wasn't there no more.

They'd rip into bags of bread. You just have a bag of bread there and they'd just rip into it. And I used to think, bloody cats, that's what they do. And now that I've got cats of my own that I feed regularly, my cats are a bit fat, right? But it just turns out the cats I had growing up, I had malnutrition. My father wasn't feeding them enough and they had to, you know, they were also out killing native Australian animals each day.

That was also another one of their hobbies. Cats do. One of the reasons why your father and yourself are good with dogs, I noticed when I was there there is that dogs follow purpose. And when you come in, you've got other things on your mind. You say, hey, dog, and then you go on your way. That's more attractive to a dog than being all cuddly with them. So when you do your thing, the dogs are more drawn to you.

I will say that. I'll be in Cape Cane. the dogs are more drawn to you. I will say that. I'll trade a mane and cable cane. No, no, no. But I, honestly, of all the,

like, like we were talking about earlier, Arnie, once he gets to know you and he, you're not like a new thing to him and he's, he's used to being around you

and he knows how you're going to behave. He really warms up to you. But, but you, he, he came to you like real quicker than most people. And even still is that you don't see him a lot.

When you see him, you can do whatever you want. You can just pat him. And I'm always like a little bit weird, but I'm like, I don't see him a lot. When you see him, you can do whatever you want. You can just pet him. And I'm always like a little bit weird, but I'm like, I don't know. He's good with Jim. Yeah.

When he first stayed at my house, like he loved me when I came to meet him at your house. And then when he came to stay at my house for the first time, he was scared because it was the first time staying anywhere. I just put his dog bed down by the front door and I let him be by himself. And it, and he was totally fine. Like he then started coming

closer and closer to me he's like she's not gonna he was good with Hank right away he loves kids yeah he's really like kids yeah so it's the cheerleader effect uh and that's uh the more attention the boys pay the cheerleaders the less attention the cheerleaders pay the boys but when the boys stop paying attention suddenly she has to tie her shoe and now all the boys are paying attention again so yeah if you ignore them we love seeing shoes being tied i know how much of our boys well you know i know it's the pick up the pen theory she had to bend over to pick up the shoe yeah she's in her cheerleader what kind of pen is it you know what's just going through jack's head all the times that a girl is tied a shoe in front of him

and he goes, I haven't even fucking noticed it. Fuck, I didn't know. He was busy fucking the shoes. Jack has so little to gain that most women around him wear Velcro shoes. Wow. I don't want to do any confusion. I will never have to retie these

slip-ons again shit so that signs of mentally healthy dog talk about that what are signs of some behavioral disorders in dogs well there's

plenty of them as well but it depends on the the situation if they're doing compulsive things chasing their tail or doing circles,

chewing themselves, self-mutilation, rigid behavior, isolating themselves, avoidance, those are not necessarily good things. There's a whole list, but it depends on what you see in front of you. Sometimes what is a healthy dog, or what looks like a healthy dog is actually an unhealthy dog, especially when they love too much. They're overexcited and they get too much love.

I watched a dog commit suicide over the course of months, and every now and again I think about it and it makes me tear up, and it was a very emotional time and i might have been i don't know 11 or 12 or something like that my brother my brother got this dog he was 16 we got a doberman we also had a scottish terrier or a sydney silky as we call them in australia um because they're in their weather their skin their fur goes all silvery anyway so so we had this little tiny dog, this big massive dog, right?

And the little tiny dog was 10 years older than the big massive dog. And when the little dog came in, when it was a puppy, it was still bigger than the little dog, but it looked up to the little dog. The little dog knew all the ways around the house. It knew the lay of the land it was the morgan freeman of the shawshank redemption to the tim robbins of whatever you know what i mean so

this is what so it took it took the big dog under its wing right and then the big dog became the big massive doberman pincher right big dog and the little dog stayed a little bit. The big dog followed the little dog everywhere. In fact, the little dog started to get a little bit more balls to itself. If it saw another big dog, it went up and picked the fight, knowing it had its big bodyguard hanging around with it all the time, right? It got a bit dicky about the whole thing. Anyway, the little dog got a tick. Didn't find a tick in time.

Very sad. It was right over Christmas. Started not walking. Couldn't get it to in time. Very sad. It was right over Christmas. Started not walking. Couldn't get it to a vet on Christmas Day. Nothing was open. We waited till the next day and then the dog died. So we lost this dog. So the Doberman, and that dog was a banging dog.

Man, that was a good dog. So this Doberman went into a fit of depression and just started running into the fence and just bashing its head into the fence until the head got all bloody. And the dog was always happy, never a problem, well-trained dog. And then it just started digging up and eating rocks. Eating rocks solely.

And then this stuffed up its body system so much that it started getting like cysts all over its snout. And its eyes started to puff over and all that type of stuff because it wasn't digesting this rock and it was throwing its whole system in. So my dad took it to the vet, 500 bucks or something to take the rock out of the stomach. I put a proper surgery because it couldn't pass the rock. Did it again, another 500 bucks. And then I just remember being a little kid just trying to find every rock. I'm not going to let the dog have another rock. And just every single rock i was

trying to put it in a bag because if this dog ate one more rock i know what my dad's next words were we're putting it down right and so i just didn't want this to happen i remember holding this lumpy headed dog please don't eat any more rocks because we just lost the dog and then the dog bloody uh dug up a rock and ate another rock and that was the end of it and that's my my fun put that put me down for more comedy minus one that was really funny that's a really good example though for dog psychology versus dog training yeah dog trainer is not going to be able to change that um that's that's all psychological right there the dog the dog went into a fear of depression.

Have you heard of that? Dogs eating rocks before? Pika, they'll just eat anything. But rocks, sometimes that's all they have access to and it's their preferred choice. So they'll go for it. They'll break their teeth off and swallow them. But that's a massive psychological issue.

And they didn't get the opportunity to, I don't know what you did did for exercise and and everything back then but when a dog has that moment where they're going through their grieving process it's so important to just take them on and go do things as if it didn't happen and they'll let go of it really fast but if everybody in the home is really sad and holds on to the loss of the other dog for a great deal of time then it's transplanted to what's this dog doing it's the same similar emotions and then so the dog never had an opportunity to get out of that and he stayed in it and it became his new thing yeah we well my father walked the dog every day my brother

walked the dog a fair amount and lots of stuff and uh you know i i bet yeah it would have sensed the sadness because we were really bummed we were really i still i still think of that little dog i think of the big dog as well but that little dog i had for a long time and the big dog you know but oh man it was bloody sad it was like it was sad um what are some it's a human holding on to things like that for so long, the dog can't let go of it either. And that's a bummer. My father has a dog from his childhood.

And if you bring up this dog's name or you talk about it. Don't tell that story. You've already told the story. I know the story. You've told too many sad stories already. If you want to make an 83-year-old man cry, I want to hear it. You can make three other grown adults cry if you told the story. Don't tell that one. I know the story. You've told too many sad stories already. If you want to make an 83 year old man cry, you fucking know it. Three other grown adults cry if you tell that story. Maybe at the end.

The dog was standing in the room. Look at the dog. How uncomfortable they're all getting and scratching and moving around. How about the story? I have to hear it. Oh, it's a sad story. I'll leave the room. Lynn's got to hear it, he said.

All right, so you had a dog and he used to... No! This is going up in the outback, man. Don't tell it! This is going to be like the podcast we did on hemorrhoids when people were tuning out. This is my last episode. Do it later. Kelly's last episode.

This is how we're going to put Kelly down at the end of the show. She's in too much pain. it's for the best boys She's eating rocks We're going to take her to a farm She's going to a farm But he grew up in rural Australia

This dog used to follow him to school each day I've got so many sad animal stories Have you ever heard of them? Just do this and let's move on Maybe just get a diary or something He used to stand on the back of the the ute which is like an australian pickup truck but it's a smaller thing see not like a big fucking truck you don't need a big truck anyway so the dog would stay on the roof and me me granddad colin

who who was driving along and didn't know the dog thought the dog was in the back of the truck and had to break for something else and the dog flew over the top of the car and then they drove over the top of the car, the dog, and that was all. Not traumatic at all. I'll tell you another one. No, no, no, no.

This one we'll get you. No, no, no. We're moving on. We have a lot of questions to answer still. We won't have a dry eye in the house. See if we have time at the end.

My brother had a cat. Okay, what are signs No! What are signs of behavioral disorders? You already answered that, right? You said... Yeah.

The cat followed him to school every day. What are signs... Stop. No, no. We're talking about dogs today. Save it for the cats episode. What are signs of an aggressive dog or a fearful dog or a nervous dog?

Jim said bite marks on you for aggressive, bite marks on them for fearful, and so on. That is a whole thing to look at are they an aggressive dog or are they being aggressive at this moment but when they're going to react in an aggressive way you're going to see a lot of stiff rigid movements slow and calculated and uh they're going to be very high up on their tippy toes a A nervous dog would be down low, maybe even come up. But both fearful and aggressive dogs behave in aggressive fashion. I would just call the fearful one more defensive in its aggression. And you will see that because they're trying not to have

an aggressive moment and they're trying to avoid, then they the thing keeps coming at them a human I love dogs dogs love me bites so if they're saying no means no in the human world too so we just if the dog is saying I don't want that we should allow them to have that moment where we leave them alone and just look at it from afar but if you you've got an aggressive dog, it'll be very clear to you that it's aggressive. You'll see that high, rigid movement and looking at you with intent. Yeah. When a dog jumps up on you, the two paws jumps up,'s what is that do they is that i love you or i want something from you it's a which can be very the very gray area it's a wetland sorry they want to

control they want to claim it uh if it's something that they just do because they've been allowed to do it and rewarded for it they don't necessarily think about controlling you that's just a habit we give them affection when they jump and so the dog says oh this works but generally when the dog climbs up on uh they're claiming it in some way the the little dog that died was like this trained animal that just – I don't remember training it. My dad did stuff with it, but it was like stop, go, walk. It would do anything you want. But then at dinner time, this thing would just get into the beg position,

perfect, just sitting on its hind legs, and it would be wobbling. It would sit there until it got food. It wouldn't care if its spine was about to break. And, like, you had to give it food eventually because it's doing its trick for a long time. You could also, like, put, like, at one stage, you could put, like, food on its nose and wait, wait, go. Like that, right? Like, it was that fucking,

it was the most obedient animal you've ever seen. Unbelievable. It had a whistle where you went, you went, if you did that noise like that anywhere it was on the house you just hear it just through the little cat door and it would run to you if you heard that whistle in within any range oh it was a good dog banging dog that one that little dog that uh that died the tick dog, yep. Where we grew up in Australia, Caringo National Park is like the epicenter of ticks. This is like, you've got to check. I've had ticks on my body.

There are ticks everywhere. Nasty. Ticks are nasty. Can all dogs be rehabbed or do some have to be put down? Jim says if a dog attacks a child, they should be put down. He knows what your answer is going to be no no i i agree if it's a full-on attack on a child they should not be on the earth but a lot of dogs are defending themselves through the perception that the child is attacking and they've given them plenty i'll show you video after video where the dog is giving signals stop that child stop that and they'll look at the the parents are you going to stop this child no okay and so they do their thing it's not an attack it's with their

mouth because they don't have hands just so we're clear you're saying the children are asking for it yes well yes absolutely it's not the children's fault though though. It's the parents' fault. There are so many owners that don't teach their kids anything about dog safety. And that's been my biggest gripe since getting a dog is going to my nephew's baseball games and little kids are just running up and grabbing his tail and stuff like that. And the parents say nothing. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? It's so important, especially because kids can only understand what they know in their own experience so if they have a dog that can tolerate those things they

think that's every dog it's so irresponsible to not teach your children dog safety it is very irresponsible but if we're looking at an attack or a bite you know we for me i really need the context and i need to see if the dog is aggressive if it is an aggressive dog that attacks children it can be managed but i don't know that i would want to take so much risk with using children as bait but there are the majority of dogs that bite children are not fully aggressive and can absolutely learn that, okay, I have to tolerate this and hopefully somebody will come and get this thing off of me really soon and or leave the area. They just need to understand that there's another choice because they, the videos that I've seen, the dogs have given them one, two, three, four, five different

signals saying if it were a puppy or another dog those puppies and dogs would have left but this puppy human puppy isn't leaving so they have to do something but i i had i had a relative who had a bit lip from a dog and the dog jumped over the next door neighbor's house why he was um a toddler playing in his own backyard so this dog shouldn't have been in his yard right yeah that's not good that's not good at all so this is what i'm saying with the leashes and all this type of stuff there's a little bit of like to say that we should teach children dog safety there are situations where you're just like well why is your dog not on a fucking leash sure yeah of course yeah it's both yeah, yeah. It's both, yeah. Yeah, there's like...

100%. If a dog jumps over a fence next door and comes into my yard like that, it may not make it to the other yard again. Yeah, yeah. Because that's not going to happen. That's unacceptable. Yeah, but I know what you're saying too.

I had Arnie at the theater in Anaheim this weekend, and I kept him in the dressing room, and people that came in the dressing room, I knew he was going to rack well with Jack and Emma and stuff. I'm walking him out the walk-in between shows, and there's a security guard there. He doesn't even say, can I pet your dog or anything. It's just because Arnie's so small and cute.

He just dips down and goes and almost grabs him by the nape of the neck, and Arnie goes, and he goes, oh, he's not a nice dog. I go, dude, you just grabbed him. You're lunging over him like you're a strange person. He didn't even ask. It's so frustrating. It's the Inspector Clouseau scene. He didn't even ask, yeah.

Yeah, it's that. Imagine you're sitting at a cafe or coming out of an elevator and somebody walks by you and grabs your cock, you know, and says, hi, how are ya? Humans love me, so I can do this. It's unacceptable, but we what do they look like forcing on them yeah i'd probably talk to you for a while and eventually you'd end up with your own

house what are what are some of the signs that dogs are giving that they're like get away from me i assume well they're subtle but they're also very loud if you look at them they're trying to go they're doing their best to look away which means i'm gonna walk that way if i can but somebody's holding me on a leash or they're blocking me i can't go anywhere they'll do this that doesn't mean they're growling to hurt anybody or showing their teeth to hurt anybody but it is a signal saying hey you need to pay attention you're stepping over the bound here that they'll even just stare at you those are very subtle signals but they're they're huge and the parents need to see these things just any parent needs to make sure that they have permission

uh from the owner what is the the best way to approach any dog? Say again? What's the best way to approach a dog? If you're going to actually approach them, just walk over by them and don't look at them. Don't try to touch them. 60% of the truth that they gather comes from their nose. And if you don't even allow them to smell you first,

and I don't mean put them to smell you first and i don't mean put your hand out so they can smell it it has to be something they want to do people put their hand out all the time and it gets bit here smell me but they get bit the idea is just to pretend the dog isn't there and it will come up to you It'll most likely try to come around you. So get a smell. But most people think, oh, now I can kiss the dog. No, he's just started to process who you are as a being. And then it has to decide whether it wants to be touched by you. Some dogs will say, oh, and they'll turn their body and go for it.

Others will just walk away. That's fine, too. That's their choice. But yeah, you want to let them investigate who you are through the nose. They're already reacting through the eyes. You need to really not look at them. Eye contact is an invitation or confrontation, perceived wise. Are some dogs just too bloody big? Big?

Yeah, yeah. I think there's some dogs that are really big. They're very hard to adopt out. Lachlan Patterson has two dogs that are the biggest fuckery. Irish Wolfhound? They've got to be 250 pounds. Oh, damn. These are massive. They get bone and they eat the bone.

What do they look like they're like big wolf things they're not like a big pointer I know those other big Irish settled dogs or whatever like that these big Google Lachlan Patterson's dogs no no no

they're miles bigger than those fucking things these are big bloody is that your question, though? Can dogs be too big? Well, they take up a whole sofa. It's a bit silly. He's got two of them as well. Where does him and his.

Is this a real question or you're just throwing it out there? Yeah, a bit of a real question. He's also very tall, isn't he? He's also very tall. Do you have an opinion, Len? Yeah, yeah. I don't really want huge dogs. What size do you like?

I like medium, you know know like my dog ace he's part uh german shepherd part uh staffordshire chariot terrier and husky but he's on the bigger side that's about as big as i want you know uh because i have five dogs if i had five huge dogs then where are they going to be i don't know how people do that the great danes they'll have three or four great danes in an apartment i i don't get it oh i don't even get people who like blue heel is dogs that need to exercise that fucking much like what are you doing with your life because like every now and again you might be sick and laid up for a week and you know this thing needs to run every bloody day. Every day.

What are the four Fs of dog behavior? Is it fuck, fierce, furry friends? Well, it can be. But I believe that it's freeze, flight, fight, and fawn. That's really more the core when they get into the animal side there when you see a dog in flight they're not running they don't know anything else exists and they're trying to they're not trying to do anything it's just they're gone uh that's the the base part of f do you ease go ahead okay my wife doesn't believe that any animal should ever be in a zoo, ever, ever, ever, ever.

I have different opinions on things like than that. I believe that the zoos help with conservation and stuff like that. My wife doesn't believe that animals should be trained in any particular way. Okay, so what I'm saying is when you see a greyhound race, do you think that is cruelty? Or when you see the crops where they're all like running around with the shaved dogs and they're best in show type of things? Is that, do the dogs dig these things? It's all in, my opinion is all in how they're trained to do it and how they live. And so if it's a zoo, a lot of zoos are horrible conditions where polar bears should be, you know.

Oh, 100%. No, no, no. No, but the zoos. So same thing with the dog. The zoos get the bad rap because we call McDonald's a restaurant. You know what I mean? And there's good restaurants and bad restaurants and everything in between, right?

Right. So obviously there's shitty roadside zoos and then there's the big proper good yeah but you asked about greyhounds he was answering yeah yeah sorry sorry greyhounds so do they enjoy chasing a fake rabbit it's more instinctual when they when they go for it and the human is capitalizing on that and uh a lot of greyhounds, when they're retired, they shut down because they don't have, all they do is sit in a box until it's time to run. And so that's cruelty, I believe. But when they're out there running for that 30 seconds, however long they run around the track for, in that moment, it's probably freedom for them at the highest level. But they don't race three, four times every single day.

So you can imagine the stockpile of dogs. So, yeah, that would be cruelty to me. When I was in Afghanistan, I was living in London at the time in a one-bedroom apartment, and I found a dog and I wanted to take this dog home with me so bad, and I almost tried to organize it, even to the extent where I was trying to find a new place to live so i could take care of this dog but in the end i decided i was on the road too long to really give it all the attention it needs but this dog was a bomb sniffing dog and uh it was just you had never seen a better trained animal stop this this sit

they jump whatever whatever you wanted it to do this dog did it was been in the military its whole life but it had found a bomb and then it was like and the bomb had gone off right he found a bomb that went off soon after it left the vicinity it saw the big bang and all those though and now this dog was like i'm not doing that again that's fucking sucks is that what we've been doing that's what we've been looking for if you told me that the first time i would have joined up with the cocaine blokes they seem to be having a much better time than bomb so he had ptsd sort of he just he did yeah he's doing that job yeah he couldn't do that job

anymore and so they were looking for someone to take care of him because he was just stopped doing that job. Yeah, he couldn't do that job anymore. And so they were looking for someone to take care of him because he was just sort of... That would have been an awesome dog for you to keep, even though that you were on the road because you could have taken it everywhere you went. But let me just tell you this, one of the highest level responsibilities that you've taken when you realize,

I live in a one bedroom apartment, I'm thinking about moving to a bigger place for this dog, but I'm on the road, so I shouldn't. That is a high level responsibility and i i'm impressed most people don't care about all that stuff i want this i want it now and they get it and then all the stuff happens down the line but that that's pretty good that you did that however that was a great life would have been worth keeping i was a good dog he's a good i'm sure someone would have taken him because he was so well trained and everything and i my hope is that he probably went to a better home than i could have given him really

so with my lifestyle you were saying flight you explained flight then you're doing the rest of them freeze right uh freeze when a when a dog is frozen if you look at it on a spectrum when a dog hears something they they kind of freeze for that moment so that's that's the part where they freeze if they if they see something that they want to get they freeze but the terrified ones they shut down they just they're just not there that's that's the highest level of freeze but just think of deer and headlight type of thing but tigers do the same thing as soon as they're walking and they see some prey they freeze for a second and then they go into the next thing so that's what they mean by freeze okay um and what were

the other ones fawn it was flight flight uh a fight of course you you know what a fight is. But when a dog is fighting at the core, it's not like a fight over a bone. It's for life. But you'll see it. Sometimes the dogs fight in that moment so that they can fly away. So I would call that more of an evasion at that point. Requires a little physical contact. Social behaviors of dogs. Ass sniffing, Jim says is the top of the list.

Top of the list. Yeah, drinking water. Drinking water, big one. That's not a social thing. That's more of instinctual. But yeah, we'll do it together. We'll break some bread and have a little river water. I think we're buds now.

But social behaviors are things like smelling shot i call it the yin and the yang one dog's at the butt and the other dogs at the other button they do this little circle that would be sort of a handshake a greeting and uh is that what you're asking about how they greet each other well we asked that question later so that's the answer how do dogs say hello you can jump ahead yeah so that's how they say hello or shake hands by sniffing butts. And then, you know, what are other social. Important? They know each other at that point. But social behaviors, being in proximity of each other

and just hanging out is is always a great social action. They don't need to be playing to be social. Yeah. And what's the level of intelligence? I said two and a half, I believe. Their emotional intelligence levels range between two and a half and three-year-old if we're going to compare it to a human. So, yeah, you got that. I was impressed with that one, but you got that off the pig,

and that's impressive that you know about the pigs. The pig's meant to have the intelligence of a three-year-old, and it's meant to be slightly more intelligent than a dog. I work that. You can train them like a dog for sure. One of my friends, colleagues, he's got one of those pigs in his facility, you know, at his home. It's a big pig.

Schwarzenegger has a big pig that just walks around his house now that he got because there's a myth about these little tiny pigs that they're going to stay this big no all pigs get massive yeah there isn't a big scam with a teacup yeah yeah and then people are like it's fucking big now it's like the size of this table yeah pigs get massive um and how huge how do dogs show submission and how do they show dominance uh when they show submission it varies but generally they want to be a little lower maybe provide some extra space but all the way submission would be on their back you know rolling over so that and that's done so that the other dog can come over and smell everything and check you out, make sure that you belong here. That's a generalized submission behavior.

In my experience, if you bring up a cat and a dog in the same house, they seem to get along. That's always has happened for me. Especially if they're a puppy or a kitten and a puppy, that's always great. But taking a cat that's had experience in life and put them with dogs uh sometimes that doesn't work yeah um and how does dog show dominance is it their teeth that's what jim's at or uh well they'll show the teeth when they're being submissive too they even have a term called a submissive grin some people have turned their dogs in my dog wants to attack me and it's literally I'm so submissive and happy that we're seeing each other I'm

gonna smile and it's terrible for people to misunderstand that but dominance will be more of taking the space and being higher elevation is a is a perceived elevation in status so that's why you see dogs get on the back of a couch when someone arrives that they just want to say, I'm either equal to you or above you. And we've talked a little bit, kind of touched on what is good body language for a dog, what is poor body language for a dog, and humans and stuff. We kind of touched on that, but is there anything else we should say about it or do you think we're good with that?

I think that if you're seeing a dog that's very rigid and slow moving next to you, that's a body language you do not want to see. But it's really more about the intent that they have and that comes from their emotion they're currently feeling. And if I get angry and you get angry, we're going to have different intentions intentions so you really want to look at the feel the emotion and discover what this individual's life has been like for their intention some dogs will show you extremely dominant behavior but will never bite you just haven't had that experience their intention is not to harm you they just want you to know they're they believe they're higher status and are certain breeds of dogs harder to train

jim say they're sure they are going you know huskies are very difficult to train because they've got a lot of energy and a strong will of their own but that doesn't mean they're dumb they're very intelligent uh remember he's still got a bit of wild dog in him as well the husky is the closest to the wolf out of all the dogs as far as the dna goes um but uh you know the higher the energy physical energy of a dog leads towards the higher intelligence of a dog it doesn't mean that a slow-moving dog isn't intelligent it just doesn't care to to show it much the dog you talked about with the tick it sounds like he had a lot of energy and and

wanted and you guys put a lot of engaged with him a lot and so he bonded to you really really well and that that intelligence that he had is driven by the energy that it comes with. Have you ever tried to train a dingo? I haven't tried to train a dingo. They just look like fucking dogs. I don't know why no one's given it a go. I love the shape of a dingo. I love them.

Yeah, like they ate one baby. No, I think you'll find there's other dogs who have eaten a baby, like in that history. They've eaten one baby and they get a bad rap. And the rest of the time they haven't eaten any babies. I've seen one. Also, I've seen coyotes out in the wild, like just walking down my street in LA.

Yeah. They're a bit cunty though, aren't they? Like coyotes? No, coyotes are always, I could always hear them as I'm going to sleep ripping an animal to bits celebrate we have dinner yeah they're going for it they're going for it man um so so there is harder to train some than others yeah okay is it okay to have a dog off leash Jim says he does not think so he thinks that they should be unleashes i used a gun analogy yeah yeah yeah it's illegal to have the dog off leash but nobody's going around and throwing anybody in jail i think that everybody should have their dog on a leash even though i walk my dogs off leash uh they should

people should have their dogs on leash if they don't have an exceptional recall. I posted a video a couple of weeks ago with a massive coyote came into the open field that my dogs were in and my dog started running toward them. I called them back. They came back and then we followed down so I can get some footage of the coyote where it went. But if you can't call them back, don't even think about taking them off leash. You're special though. I saw that video. It's like no other,

you just called them and they just turned around and came to you. And so most people's dogs are running after that or a squirrel or something, you know? And cause I go to this park near my house and it says, all dogs must be on these giant signs. And some of the dogs are well-tra trained and like they don't have issues with it but then another dog this guy ran up on me one time with a dog arnie growled at him and he started going you got a yank on him and train him whatever do it i go your dog just ran up on my like yeah the is there i always keep him on a long line so i'll like let him go and sniff but

at least i can control him if i need to get away from another dog. I'm thinking of putting my youngest son on a leash. My first kid didn't get leashed. This one might need to be leashed for its own safety. He's rowdy. You've seen those leashes, right? They might just run out into traffic or something. I can't risk it. I used to judge parents who had leashed children.

And now I'm like, yeah, might have to leash this one. We'll get you an electronic collar. There you go now I'm like, yeah, might have to leash this one. We'll get you an electronic collar. There you go. I've already got that for you. We'll e-collar train your son. I've done the electric collar. Once on Opie and Anthony,

I did that, buddy. Oh, you put it on? Yeah, you did things and people sparked you. It's not fun. This is a part of our show, Lynn, called Dinner Party Facts.

We ask our expert to give us some facts or interesting story or something about this subject that they can use to impress people. What do you got for us? Okay. Dogs don't have a memory.

And people get freaked out about that when I tell them that their dogs won't know who they are if I came over to the house and took them away. No, my dog knows. My dog knows. He remembers. He remembers. He remembers. They have what's called an associative memory. So everything that they remember has a feeling to it, and it has to be present for them to access it.

So if I came over to your house and I grabbed your dog and put it in the car and drove away, maybe 10 minutes, it's wondering where you are. But after that, all it wants to know is how do I fit in with you? And it doesn't have a clue you've ever existed, doesn't ever think about you, doesn't worry about you at all. But if I come back six months later and I'm driving through the area and I roll the window down and he's like, this seems familiar. And I pull into your driveway, that gate that you have there, right? That exact the dog will go hey and then you pop out of the front

door he's like hey how are you and at that moment he knows everything about you the file opens now to prove that to show how different it is when people say no my dog knows he remembers if i move into your house and kick you out your dog will mourn like your dog uh with the that died with the tick the dog everything in the house is associated to that dog or to you and so it takes six months maybe before the dog ever stops thinking about you because everything in the house is associated to you it's a it's a quirky thing and i've had clients when i rehabilitate their dogs and i forget to tell them that your dog may not recognize you out of the gate he's got to smell you or hear your voice and then it will recognize i bring the dog out and doesn't recognize

the client and they stop oh my god i, oh, I forgot to tell you. So I have to take the dog back in, explain all that, and then bring the dog back out. It's a quirky little thing, but it's true. Wait, so that simultaneously made me feel a lot less, I was just gone for 11 days and I felt really guilty the whole time. So that made me feel less guilty.

Also broke my heart a little bit. But for my trip next month, I was actually thinking about having a dog sitter stay at my house. So you're saying that that's probably a bad idea because he'll miss me if I'm gone. Well, he may miss you, but everything around there is associated to you. So he could find comfort in those things that remind him of you. But it's also a good idea if you take him a play to a place and if

you've done it before the association is is still there hey all my friends are here my my human friend everything and i'll see you later mom it's like dropping kids off to kindergarten after the third or fourth time they don't want to be around mom or dad yeah so that that can be a good thing to take them someplace to experience other dogs and and other things without you and then you're the the hero when you walk in and you go hey where's my puppy right and they yeah my regular dog sitter is out of town next month so it sucks so i'm like trying to find somebody new and i was like oh i'll have somebody come to my house and now i'm like it fuck. Doesn't matter, they don't remember you. But then you get to deal

with somebody coming to your house and going through your drawers while you're not there. I don't like that. Kelly likes that. I'm not worried about it. Well, Lynn, thanks for being on the podcast, brother.

Real quick, let me just repeat again. Thank you for having me. And if you need help with your dog and you want to talk to Lynn or hirermansmike.co to his website, Lynn Boeke. It's L-I-N-N-B-O-Y-K-E.com. He's really great.

If you go on Instagram, at Lynn Boeke, you can see his videos and YouTube and stuff. And he's got a podcast, the Dog Psychology Podcast. He's awesome. He's great. Just start watching some of the videos. You'll see. It's very impressive. Yeah, there you go.

All right, ladies and and gentlemen thank you so much for being on the podcast if you're ever at a party and someone comes up to you and says oh my dog remembers me go I don't know about that goodnight Australia goodbye Kelly we love you we're gonna miss you

bye bye