I Don't Know About That - Einstein (Live)

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

Dr. Kevin Peter Hickerson, is a nuclear physicist, who is part of the team that broke the world record for the best neutron lifetime measurement. He also founded the ‘Earthineering Company a nuclear power company making an advanced nuclear reactor. He is also a comedian and host of the Science and Comedy Podcast "Surely You're Joking" created with Jimmy O. Yang featuring Nobel prize winners, scientists and comedians. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @kphickerson ADS: BETTERHELP: Visit http://www.BetterHelp.com/IDK today to get 10% off your first month.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Kids are always learning and growing but as adults sometimes we lose that ability. What's something you'd like to learn? Gardening, a new language or maybe how to finally beat your best friend in bowling. Therapy can help you connect to your sense of wonder because your back to school era can come at any age. can come at any age. Rediscover your curiosity with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash IDK today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash IDK. ["The Newly Singles"]

Couples. Singles. Who's the happiest? I reckon the newly singles You might find out and I don't know about that Jim Jeffries now my argument for that is that that when you knew there that sweet spot when you're newly single Not when you get dumped. That's horrible. But when you're the dumper dumped that's horrible but when you're the dumper there's a wonderful six months after that you're skipping around fucking everything wonderful time is anyone in that stage anyone newly single no no they wouldn't be here they were

there are family like all copies this yeah this is for people who are dragging each other down tonight. This is... He's by himself right there. Let's go by himself. Yeah, he's probably got someone coming to sit and using you by yourself, sir. Yeah. Oh, well, you're not going to get laid here at the...

I'll get laid afterwards. He's fucking winking at me. He kept complete eye contact there. Whether you want to or not, Jim. Do we have any gigs to play? Yeah. All right, we should get onto that. You got gigs.

Yeah, I got gigs. I think you're in Australia right now. I mean, not, you know, not now. I think when this comes out, you're gonna be in Australia. Yeah, you got geeks. I think you're in Australia right now. Pfft. I mean, not, you know, not now. Yeah, yeah. I think when this comes out, you're gonna be in Australia. Yeah, you're in Australia. I'm in Australia, so hello to the Australian people. I hope that the tour is going well.

I've had such a wonderful time. Is everyone, so, so. Not over yet. Okay, so I want, I want to talk, I've got an idea. Got about a week left. I've got an idea for the Australian show. So this might have already happened. So I'll tell the story.

I think we told the story on a previous podcast that hasn't yet, but we'll tell it another version of it. Okay, so Seinfeld was just playing Australia. I don't know if anyone's seen this in the news, right? so Seinfeld was playing Australia 20,000 people right in a big great big arena and Halfway through the show a bloke stands up and goes Palestine will be freed from the land to the sea now I don't want to get into the Palestine Israel thing right now this isn't the time or place but no I am no I know so Palestine will be free from the land to the sea and isn't so Seinfeld goes like this that's great thank you so much you've helped out the

show people want to know in Sydney what you think of Palestine. Thank God. Now the people in the Middle East are going to be like, there's a bloke in Sydney who has an opinion. We should all get along. Like that, right? Anyway, they drag the guy out and then Seinfeld says, and I've never met Seinfeld, so I was so excited, and I went, and he goes, Seinfeld says, he goes, you know what I'm gonna do, next time Jim Jefferies is performing in New York, I'm gonna yell out things about the Aboriginals, right? So.

So. So, I, cause the tour might be over, I'm thinking of planting a Seinfeld impersonator. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. But you know I always have plans Because the tour might be over. I'm thinking of planting a Seinfeld impersonator. You know I always have plans that I never go through with them. But I think it'd be nice if I was halfway through a joke and then I just hear that, what happened in 1788? Is that the year? That's the year?

That's the year that we colonised Australia. I think you do know about it, okay, yeah, that is right. But I would think it would be nice if the Seinfeld character had very exact statistics. Talk about the stolen generation from the 1960s! Some of them still haven't seen their parents! Like that, right? You can groan about this is just historical facts. I'm telling you There was aboriginals lived in the outback and then the Australian government went Oh that shouldn't happen

They should be in schools or something and then they stole them in the middle of the night and they never saw their family again They grew up in the orphanages and it wasn't I'm not trying to bring the mood down grew up in the orphanages and it wasn't, I'm not trying to bring the mood down but don't like don't groan when I'm just giving you facts I didn't condone in that sentence at all. Just looking up impersonators in Australia for you but I don't know. I don't need it to be good. I don't need him to have to look as well. Like what are we doing?

Mine! I don't need that I just need. He's based in New York we doing? Mine! I don't need that, I just need. He's based in New York. That one's based in New York, yeah, sorry. He has to be performing in New York for the impersonation. Yeah, but then it was a news story in Australia. It's not a news story really in America. Like some people saw it online, but it was a proper big,

all the news Australian news outlets contacted me and they said, do you want to speak on what happened with Jerry Seinfeld? And I was like, yeah, it was really cool what he did. And what is your opinion on the Middle East? And I was like this, I'm not doing this interview again. What? I'm going to fucking jump into that argument.

What is what would an Australian Seinfeld person and person sound like? Oh, good day. How are you doing, man? Australian Seinfeld person and person who sound like You have to do the you know, you would still be impersonating the American accent It would be like it'd be like good. I am the Australian Seinfeld Koalas with chlamydia, what's all that about? Like who are these koalas with chlamydia, what's all that about? Like who are these koalas? Anyways, you're in Australia now, the tour is almost over so hopefully that happens. And then when you come back, the Charm Offensive Tour with Jimmy Carr. Me and Jimmy Carr across Canada. It's going to be cool.

We're doing like in the round. We're performing in the round. You have a bunch of dates with Jimmy Carr. Me and Jimmy Carr across Canada. It's going to be cool. We're doing like in the round. We're performing in the round. You have a bunch of dates with Jimmy Carr in Canada. It's called the Charm Offensive Tour. That's all on JimJeffries.com. If you want to come and see Jimmy Carr's ass, that's the place to be. Does he have a good ass? Well, it's in the round.

You would have a great ass. I tell you, he's the best dressed man I've ever met. His entire wardrobe is tailored. His ass, no matter what it is, it's gonna look good. Like those clothes are gonna hang off that flat British ass. And then September 13th and 14th, they're doing shows with Mark Norman and Dan Soder.

Triple headlining. St. Louis and Atlanta. So that'll be it. And then a bunch of dates here. And also for the crowd that's here currently right now, December 14th, LA. Yeah, December 14th. We're doing the big show. We do in LA. That's me big one. And we'll see. Normally it's a very exciting one. I always like that show because it's my favorite show to perform at because I get to sleep in my own bed. So I'm always in a good mood.

I'm always in a good mood. And like my wife and like my kids come backstage and run around like it's proper fun. Jack, you got anything? Just go listen to the Doohickeys on the internet. That's my band. Wearing the hat today. Screw it. Jack's just going... You know what I think about cowboy hats?

I've got a lot of opinions. What do you think? Okay, you people, with your fucking hats you're always acting like I'm just a guy that's big, you know I can have dust on my pants and dust on my leg and don't worry about it I'm a cowboy whoo-hoo like that then you get in an airplane you got a special case for it you put it in your overhead. Fucking hell, you're precious about your fucking hats. Like, you don't know me, I'm a cowboy.

Don't get your hat dirty, bitch. I agree with that. All right, let's get our guest up here. Please welcome our guest, Kevin Peter Hickerson. Kevin Peter Hickerson. Woo! All right, we know Kevin. Kevin has done podcasts for us before. He's been on two other times.

And he does science-y type things. Physics. You don't remember? I don't remember the name. That was physics. Science is correct. And something like nuclear. Nuclear.

I don't give a fuck how this... I think I say it like George nuclear. Nuclear. I don't give a fuck how this, I think I say it like George W. Bush there. I think I say it wrong. Nuclear. Nuclear. Yeah. Yeah. Right, so it was a nuclear fusion, something.

Nuclear physics. Nuclear physics. Yeah. And so I can't think that you've come up here now to pick a subject. Let's do the song first of all. Yes, no. Yes, no.

Yes, no. Yes, no. George Eagle book by its cover. I can do harmonies. That's what you've been doing. A good ear for a good, but I can't see. Now so you're not going to come up here and be talking about pickleball because you're a science guy.

But maybe you could have a hobby. Is it science related? Yes. No? Is it got to do with you're not a human body science guy you're a man of the elements Is what we're about to talk about in the periodic table That's a good question and the answer is yes, okay

Please don't be If I have to if I have to entertain 70 people Talking about fuck it, you know who else with you know what else we've done in these live podcasts we've done the Titanic Yeah, Frank Sinatra. Yep, and another one a million That was good a million because I could be misogynistic and historical My two favorite things. Anyway, guess. The Pierrot table is gonna trip you up, that was. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, that's gonna make you. Is whatever we're talking about surrounding me right now. No. No, no, no. I guess that's not it. I have an image here. Is wood in the periodic table? I don't know any periodic table.

Is wood in it? Wood's not in the periodic table. It should be. We have tons of it. Yeah, yeah. It should just be W-O down the bottom, wood. The funny thing is the- Not trees, cause that's too broad a spectrum.

But they all make wood. The periodic table thing's actually gonna, it's almost like a side track. So don't pay attention to the periodic table. That's why I said wood, it's not in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Throw it in your mouth. Is it wood?

Okay, has it got an interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's throwing you off. Is it wood? Okay, has it got an interesting story behind it? Oh yeah. Oh, okay, oh, is it Oppenheimer? Well, we're gonna give you a hint, do you want it? Oppenheimer. No. The Manhattan Project. Is that in the periodic table?

Nuclear physics. Carbon nuclear. Is that in the periodic table? Nuclear physics. Carbon... nuclear. Oppenheimer was close. Oppenheimer was closer, yeah. Japan. Japan is the periodic table? Like, I don't... This isn't racist. It's the Japan.

No, it's a person. It's one person. One person. Oh, one person. Yeah. And the periodic table. There's an element named after this person involved with that would that. What? You know, sir? He's very excited.

Alright, sir, I need you to tell me. Einsteinium. Yes! Einsteinium? For Einsteinium. Get the fuck out of here. He's not even called Einsteinium. Einsteinium. You've got to hurt your ear, sir. Are you okay? Yeah.

What happened? I just thought you're a band a holy field. We haven't seen him for years I was like, that's what he looks like now The other side is a white guy, you know the subject now? I am. We just told you. Are they battle ships? It's a person. Oh, it's Godzilla.

No, a person? Einsteinian? Oh, Einstein. Yeah, there you go. That's it. I didn't know there was an element good to Einsteinian. Yeah, that's why I thought it was like a side trick. Look, I don't want to get into Einstein.

I know he had his whole E equals MC squared thing and all that type of stuff. And you know, I've heard all the stories. He didn't talk till he was five and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But he was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who was a guy who Look, I don't want to get into Einstein. I know he had his whole E equals MC squared thing and all that type of stuff and you know, I've heard all the stories

He didn't talk till he was five and blah blah blah blah, but I think he's like He's one of those dudes where you're like everyone goes Oh, he's so intelligent and then they all put the poster of him sticking his tongue out, you know I think it was all marketing He was like a pop star with a shit voice but a good look. You don't think he knew anything? He came up with things.

He came up with things. Yeah, of course. E equals MC squared. I could, W equals KY cubed. And then you go, what's that? And I go, it's how to create light from nothing. Dr. Kevin Peter. He didn't split the atom, he just said how to split the atom. He didn't actually split the atom, he gave the theory.

I just gave you a theory on how to make light from nothing. Well, we'll find out what you know, all right. Someone W Q QI, do that. Let me introduce Kevin. All right. Doctor Kevin Peter Hickerson is a nuclear physicist. He was part of the team that broke the world record for the best neutron lifetime measurement.

He has also founded- That must have been a lot of competition. How many other people are measuring neutrons? It's basically Russia. Oh, it beat the Russians. We can beat the Russians now. I've seen their technology. He also.

Top gun stuff, not maverick. Original. He also founded the Earth Anearing Company, a nuclear power company making an advanced nuclear reactor. He's also a comedian and host of the Science and Comedy podcast, Surely You're Joking, created with Jimmy Oh Yang, featuring Nobel Prize winners, scientists and comedians.

You can follow him on X and Instagram, at KP Hickerson. Thanks for being here, Kevin. Thanks for having me. All right. The scientist who's also a comedian, it's, we get, I met a lot of doctors who are comedians. There's tons of doctors. Is there other other scientists, comedians you must know?

Yeah, actually there's one in the room, so I have a map back there. Yeah, you do a podcast with one too. I don't know if you know. Oh, you're a fucking water biologist. Or, no, sorry, sorry, H2O. Yeah. There's very few scientists and comedians, but like half of them are in the room right now, so.

What, is Matt Kersh in a scientist? Yeah, I think so. He's not, he's been a comedian since he was 12. He's only 14 now. You know so much about your friends. I've known Matt, I've known Matt since he was 20. I think he's performing in the other room. I don't think he's here right now.

I've known Matt since he was 20, and he did no performing in the other room. I don't think he's here right now. I've known Matt since he was 20 and he did no sciencey shit around me. He does a science podcast. He does a science podcast. Jack's on a comedy podcast. Ooh. All right, so I'm gonna ask you. The science of a joke.

I'm gonna, um. I'm gonna ask Jim, I'm gonna ask you a series of questions about Albert Einstein and at the end of him answering these, you're gonna grade him on his accuracy, Kevin, zero through ten, 10 is most accurate. Jackson, I grade him on his confidence, I'm gonna grade him on how hungry I am and then we're gonna add all those scores together, 21 through 30, theory of relativity. You know about that, right Jim? Yeah, yeah. D was MC squared bro all right 11 to 20 11 to 20 the conversation of a quaint acquaintanceivity acquaintanceivity

the boy 0 to 10 idea of stranger activity we're going for that all right we're gonna win I'm telling you all all marketing. The only person who out-marketed him was Stephen Hawking. If fucking, if, I'm putting it out there, if that cunt didn't have the robot voice, none of you would have listened. Well, they wouldn't have been able to. If he just walked up there and just went, well there's black holes in society, it was the ehh, black holes. Like that's the bit where you went must be telling the truth would have taken for fucking ever to type that out I'm just saying these out of all the geniuses they the best marketed is your Einstein and your Hawkins yeah absolutely okay what have I done wrong Jack

no that's usually I type during the podcast, but I can't because of the presentation. Yeah, I know where that is. All right, first question, Jim. What was Einstein's job when he developed his early theories? He would have been, with his early theories, I was about to say he was a professor or something like that, but I hear he didn't do great in school,

and that whole thing about him not talking'm not talking, his early theories, I would say he would have been a chimney sweep back then. Or he worked in a factory building iPads. What other jobs do children have? You know what I think about the kids in the iPads, they're building iPads in China all day, these kids building iPads in China all day. These kids building iPads in China all day. Do you reckon when they get home, very little screen time.

I reckon they get home and they're like, nah, it's good. It's good because they get to be kids. Anyway. What famous equation is Albert Einstein known for? E equals mc squared the theory of relativity. Okay, what does that mean? It's how to split atoms, man. What was Einstein's role in developing the theory of relativity?

Writing it down. If I know anything about science, it would have been with like some type of colorful pen on a window pane. These fucking scientists, they love a bit of that, don't they? He's a fucking white board can, fuck off. You ever had an idea and you had to write like a beautiful mind, where you go had an idea and you had to write it like, like, like a beautiful

mind where you go, Oh, thanks. A window pane. You ever do that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're bullshit. Goodwill hunting. You've written on a window pane. Yeah. What's wrong with paper man? There might not be paper around. Oh, please. Yeah, thank you. Thank you, that is the most pretentious thing ever. I'm sorry, everyone, my genius couldn't be contained in this room.

And you might be wondering why I'm writing on the window because maybe the people outside will be interested as well. Plus, plus, wait, you don't have paper but you have a pen that's capable of writing on a window? Yeah, it's fucking mental. It's got this marker. It's mentally powerful. It's on the edge of a shit table. Draweries.

On your hand, you didn't have your hand. All right, why did Einstein win the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1921? It would have been for how to split the atom. That would have been it. Is that going to be your answer for everything? It seems to be. Like I know he had other theories.

I like the movies in with Meg Ryan. You ever seen that one? It's called like IQ. It's a good film. It's got the guy from fucking. It's a good film. It's got the guy from fucking, it's a romantic comedy. You love romantic comedies. There's a movie with Einstein played with Walter Mathau,

right, where he plays Einstein with Meg Ryan. And it's like, yeah. And it's the guy from fucking, you know, the cunt from fucking Goodwill, no, from Shawshank Redemption. Steven Fry. Tim Robbins. Tim Rob Fry. Tim Robbins. Tim Robbins.

Tim Robbins. Right? And he hangs out, he's trying to bang, his whole thing is, he's trying to bang Einstein's granddaughter. So he has to get in with Einstein. I think the guy who created Monk wrote that movie. Yeah. Well that's a good takeaway, Jack. You know what I like, Jack, is you wait for your moments and then zing. Look someone's got to fill the silence. But yeah but anyway I told you Meg Ryan

doesn't like me. I've never met Meg Ryan but Meg Ryan doesn't like me. Well I've only heard okay so when you when you go on tours right you, you have a tour manager, and I'm not gonna get this guy in trouble, but Meg Ryan will know who it is. And so this tour manager toured me and John Cougar Melloncamp, right, he's now called John Cougar, right? So we're the same tour manager. When John Cougar Melloncamp was getting,

and we were booked by the same touring company, so everywhere I went, John Cougar Mellellencamp was a week before me or whatever like that. And so, John Kuga Mellencamp asked, oh, who else do you tour? And he says, I tour Jim Jefferies, right? And he goes, oh, I love that guy. And he starts, he goes on a real sort of like trip with me, right? So he just on the bus the whole time, just watching my Netflix specials. He's on a real kick watching my specials, right?

Turns out He was dating Meg Ryan by the way, and she was on the bus with him Turns out that Meg Ryan doesn't want an Australian bloke saying the word cunt over and over again On her TV while she's locked inside a bus So it turns out that Meg Ryan was adamant that I'm a bad comedian on her TV while she's locked inside a bus. So it turns out that Meg Ryan was adamant that I'm a bad comedian. So if I ever meet her, we have, you know, I've got an in. How did Einstein's theories influence the development of the atomic bomb? They helped split the atom.

That one is right. Split the atom, I'll put that one there. That one is right. So he won the Nobel Prize for the other thing. He made I don't know he was the guy who made risotto rice different from other rice. What was the famous letter Einstein signed to President Roosevelt about? I don't even know if you know there is a famous letter. Yeah, it would have been about dropping the bomb. And he would have said, fuck mate.

Don't do it. War, what is it good for? Love. Einstein. Oh, that's how he signed it. If I, PS, when I'm dead, make sure they make a movie about my granddaughter getting banged. Now again? PPS, I've got a picture of me with my tongue sticking out.

I reckon you could make t-shirts out of it. That's correct. Why did Einstein renounce his German citizenship twice? Well, the first time was, Jesus Christ, you should know this. Yeah, thank you. The first one was because he was vegetarian. No, the first one was, well well you can't be vegetarian in Germany. Have you been to that country? They're just eating meat all day.

You couldn't be a pig for five minutes and live in that country. You know, they're good at killing things. Okay. It's the first time. You know, they're good at killing things. Okay. Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh...

Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh...

Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh...

Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... He escaped Germany, well he got brought over to Germany, he came to America, he was brought over to America as a refugee, because Americans, it turns out, if you can do something big for them, they will give you a passport. Even if you're a Nazi. We'll go back to the landing on the moon. So second time you got, he renounced it. Okay, there was a scientist is the reason

we got to the moon because after World War II, all the other Nazis got hunted down and fucking locked up or killed. And then this one you went, he's very good. It's true. Very good. It's true. It's true. So he renounced it a second time.

I'm that good at comedy you gave me a passport, even after all my indiscretion. So second time you renounced it. The second time. Well, the first time, how can you denounce it a second time? That's why it's a question. I'm gonna say it's after the war,

he went back there and tried that fucking food with the boiled meat. They went, I'm not coming back to this kind of a place. Like for Germany, he had a very good sense of humor with the tongue being stuck out, hilarious. What does the Einstein syndrome refer to? The Einstein syndrome, oh oh that is a question, is when someone is perceived to be intelligent because of a haircut.

Right, so when you see a person with a mullet, you go against the Einstein. You have already made a choice on this person. This person's thick as shit, but then they might be smart. Okay. But he had the wild hair, like, I'm so busy thinking. I wish I could do my hair. I hear he used to wear the same pair of shoes every day. Like he had two or three pairs of shoes. It was like the same shoes because he didn't want to spend that time thinking about his fucking outfit. So he went, what I'll do is I'll just wear the same fucking outfit all the time so I

can think more for everyone. Potentious cunt that I am. Einstein walking around fucking Los Feliz would be having a fucking wonderful life. I'm not into it either. I think George Carlin said it best when he said, they all make you wear a hat. They all make you wear a hat. I think that's the best way to put it. I think that's the best way to put it. I think that's the best way to put it. I think that's the best way to put it.

I think that's the best way to put it. I think that's the best way to put it. I think that's the best way to put it. I think that's the best way to put it. I think that's the best way to put it. I think No, I'm not into it either. Yeah. I think George Carlin said it best when he said, they all make you wear a hat. Like hat-free religions. I reckon the first guy to make the Yarmulke,

the Jewish one, that hat, I reckon he was just a bald bloke. I reckon it was just a bald bloke. I reckon it had just started. He was quite high up and he was like, fuck. And he cut a little disk of material and shoved it on and he goes, just been chatting to God. We're all doing this now. And you can't take them off ever. How did Einstein's brain differ from the average person or the average brain? Oh, I'm going to say it was more intelligent.

Final answer. I bet you it's larger. I bet you it's larger or it's been saved in a jar and every now and again you find it coming. Because when it's left alone, like you want to talk about pocket pussies, right? Imagine holding a brain. And then know you're doing it to Einstein? That's where the term fuckies brains out came from. This is ten in confidence. So it's slightly filled with cum. Final answer.

Final, final answer. I wrote that in there, don't worry, I got it. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I'm a big advocate of therapy. If you're having troubles, see someone, talk to someone, it's important. A problem shared is a problem halved. Kids are always learning to grow, but we as adults, we sometimes lose that curiosity.

What's something you'd like to learn? Maybe gardening, a new language, or maybe be your best friend at bowling. Therapy can help you reconnect with your sense of wonder because your back to school era can come at any age. I've been in therapy on and off my whole life and my life's always better when the therapy is on than when the therapy is off.

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to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, atlp.com slash IDK today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelpatlp.com slash IDK. What is the twin paradox? Yeah, related to Einstein's theories. When you meet twins, there's always that thought, which one should I fuck? If they're up for it, I'm not just, they get to make the decision, right? But if both twins come up to you and they're like, we're both up for it, every man's going

to be dumb. They're going to try to overcompensate and go, how about both of you at once? They don't want to fuck each other. They're sisters. It's weird. Don't ask for it. How's that related to Einstein? Take it from a man who's trying.

Einstein asked. The paradox is when you meet him, it's not fuck. It's like, which one should I date? Because imagine dating a twin and then you're like, fancy a sister. That must be horrible, right? Because it just proves

that your wife's personality's bad. Because that's the only difference. Okay, you're talking about Einstein, right? Yeah, the paradox. The paradox of which twin to date. Yeah. That's it. Got it.

All right, what did Einstein mean by saying God does not play dice? Do it with the voice Use Einstein's voice? I don't know how Einstein's voice sounds I am not God That's how Austrian and German accents are exactly the same Oh God So this is how Einstein sounds

Equals MC Squared Wait, that's Austrian, wasn wasn't supposed to be so. Yeah, guess who else was Austrian? Hitler. Yeah, I know, I know. They seem to accept the voices their own, don't worry about it. Get him the job, right?

Yeah, all of a sudden, for us it's like this, I think you'll find that the Austrian accent, no. What's the distinction? God does not play dice. What does that mean? God does not play dice. Einstein. Einstein means that God doesn't do anything by chance. Got it. Alright, how did Einstein contribute to the understanding of the universe's expansion? He was one of the first guys to talk about like how the universe is expanding. He literally was. Before him we used to just think that we knew about the Milky Way for a bit.

For a bit. And we thought that was it. And then someone looked a bit further and went, nah there's more. And then they kept on going, there's more and more. When I was a kid, Pluto was a planet now. It's up for debate People think it's a dwarf rock which is offensive to planets Rock It goes back and forth from being a planet and not being a planet a lot of people think it's not a planet I think it's back to planet right now. It's back to planet who grew up here thinking

Yeah, you're you're of age to have a planet, planet, planet, planet, planet, we got no young people in here, yeah, we're all planet folk. And we're old enough to say this, Harvey Weinstein produced great movies. All right, um. I'll tell you the secret of comedy. The secret is, whatever the first thought that comes to your head, just say it and hope for the best. That's what I've learned in this industry.

Just say it and go, I don't fucking know. Yeah, but you gotta be on a stage. You can't do that at work. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's not good advice for these people. Never at work. And I work in the movie industry. Yeah, yeah.

Can anything escape a black hole? Um, things have and things will. In the TV series Black Hole, which was Disney's attempt to do a Star Wars-like thing, they brought out a movie called Black Hole and they flew out of the Black Hole, which was Disney's attempt to do a Star Wars like thing. They brought out a movie called Black Hole and they flew out of the back. Cause everyone remember that even a little robot saying they really went for it. They had a whole toy range and Disney went, this will be fucking Star Wars. Black Hole.

No, a real life. I've seen a lot of porn. lot of porn and I've seen a lot of cum fall out of some fairly black holes. Final answer. No, can anything, I'm all potty-mouthed today, can anything escape a black hole? We haven't fallen into one. So like I would say no if you get within range. Yes, if you're not near it, you can escape it. Like right now, there might be a serial killer, but they're not getting me because they're not in this room.

I get that logic. And I also think that fame's a weird thing because if I murdered someone, I get that logic. And I also think that fame's a weird thing, because if I murdered someone, I get caught super quick. Because people be like, yeah, we just saw him, and it was very easy to track where I'm going. But I also think it stops me from getting murdered, because the news will say something. Okay, what was the photoelectric effect effects and why is that important?

What was the photo? We got like six questions left. I'm doing it. Photo electric effects. I don't know what that is but I know it was important because Einstein said it and he never fucked around with his theories. He had the photo effect, he had the other one with the black holes, he had the one about splitting fucking atoms, and he had another one about how baking soda can be multi-purpose.

Not only do you bake with it, but it can make your fridge smell nice, you can also put it on cat vomit. You know, it has like a repertoire of things, and no one paid attention to it. So he always swang big. So it was important because he fucking said it bro. How did Einstein's theory of general relativity get confirmed in 1919? Get confirmed in 19... that's like the end of World War one around there and it got confirmed. Yeah. I reckon it'd be that PSA company that grades sports cards. Send it off to them, see what they say. You send it off. 100 bucks. They would have checked the

corners. They're big on corners, those cards. You have a little fucking fucked up corner, that card's getting a PSA 4 and you know it. But that's like, I reckon the theory of relativity is like a Fleur 1986 Jordan rookie. That's right up there. Yeah, I think you got it right. Yeah, so PSA. All right, here, I think you already answered this one.

What quirky habit did Einstein have regarding his clothes? You wore the same clothes all the time. What did Einstein mean? Over the years they got like a deeper shade of gray with sweat and everything. Just, ugh. What did Einstein mean by spooky action at a distance? Back to Harvey Weinstein.

Spooky, spooky action at a distance. Spooky action at a distance. I guess that's like when you have someone staring at you and you're like... It's another one of his theories? Yeah. I'm not going to write that down. When you're sitting at a nightclub and someone's looking at you, you're like... It's basically, that's the original term for the Ick. You might be right, yeah.

We might be too old, the audience, for the Ick. Why was Einstein's work on the Manhattan Project minimal? Because in the movie, he was super old, and he liked to go look at ponds a bit. That was his whole thing. He wandered around and went, oh, I looked at a pond and maybe water is before, whatever. He said his things. But also he didn't want to make a nuclear bomb

and he wrote a letter saying how he didn't want this either. Okay, I wasn't paying attention. Yeah, but the answer was minimal because he did not want to get involved. Got it. Last question. Why did Einstein move to the United States in 1933? Because the Nazis were up to no good. Started making troubles in his neighborhood.

His friend got in one little train and his... Keep going. And his mother said, you're moving with your auntie and uncle to New York. That's the bit. That's good. It's amazing I got that far. I didn't know you knew any of the songs.

He got to New York and what did he see? I don't even know how the song goes anymore. All right, Kevin, how did Jim do on his knowledge of... The Fresh Prince of New York. ...Albert Einstein, zero through 10, that's the best. Like a two. I don't know how this song goes anymore. All right, Kevin, how did Jim do on his knowledge of the fresh prince of New York? Albert Einstein, zero through 10 times the best. Like a two. A two.

Sorry, Jim. You do better than the other two. That was a 10 break though. You know the saying, I'm no rocket scientist. Well, that applies right here. 10 in confidence though. Look, man, what do you really need to know about Einstein? Like really?

Like, he gave us the theories. I don't need to know who the fuck Betty Crocker is, but I'll eat the cake. I think what really hurt your score is that your answer was the same for a lot of them, was always that he figured out how to split the atom. He had the theory on how to do it. He wasn't in there with the knife and fork with the man who actually did it. Actually, not only did he not come up with the theory about splitting an atom... He's a fucking fraud, this guy. He did not even think it was possible.

Really? Yeah, he went publicly and told people that it wasn't possible. Then why does he always get blamed for it all the time? Because he's got the hair and the tongue. Oh, he's got the hair, yeah. It was all about marketing. You got that part right. That's the whole thing because Oppenheimer isn't like, he did all the work, right?

And you see him in that creepy hat with a cigarette hanging out, that's not a fun poster to have on your wall. It's all the hair and the tongue. with a cigarette hanging out, those... That's not a fun poster to have on your wall. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hitler, if he just smiled a bit more, if instead of the full salute it was like a PAPEW! Like this, HELL HITLER! HELL HITLER! HELL HITLER! We would have gone, they're alright then. They're a bit of fun. I'm telling you, if they did that instead of the salute,

Einstein would have fucking stayed. I'm telling you, if they did that and sent us to the salute, Ironstone would have fucking stayed. This podcast had great timing. I hung out with Oppenheimer's grandson last night. Yeah, he's a trust-un-kid hanging down at the Rainbow Lounge. Yeah. I'm pretty hungry. What does he do?

What does he do with the grandson? What does he do? He invests in nuclear and promotes it. He might have seen this. Yeah, he invested like in the energy not the bomb It's the energy. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, you make more money out of the bombs His grandfather went down that road so he's trying to atone for it I guess All right. First question. What was Einstein's job when he developed his early theories Jim said he was a chimney sweep with that hair come on iPad factory And you said the kids it's great. That was pretty funny Yeah, it was good. That was good The screen time thing is a bit that I thought of this week that I tried out just here in the podcast

Rather than doing it on stage like a coward. Yeah That's what I was saying. I was like, it's a keeper. I got it over the line. It's a keeper. They get home and then they don't wanna do screen time. Yeah. It's a good start. Yeah, he was actually.

I know. It's a good start. But also with their wages, they can't afford an iPad. Oh. Oh. But also don't forget, what was the last line you said? They get to enjoy being a kid. Yeah, get to enjoy being a kid.

Yeah. He was actually a... Because I assume their parents would send them off to work when they come home are a delight to them. So Kevin, what was Einstein's job when he developed his early theories? He was a patent clerk. He reviewed patents and decided whether they're good or bad. Yeah, I did know that.

Patent clerk, yeah. Although maybe all his theories were being patented and he just... his whole career is a fraud. That's a possibility Hey, don't you mean he was stealing other people's? Patent and make it in Every time you try every time you come up with a theory you check the patent office It's like I wanted a toilet seat that lifted up with your foot like the bin lid

Like the bin lid why are we doing that but it does exist we looked it up. Yeah, it's already fucking exists You can't do bin lid. Why are we doing that? But it does exist. We looked it up and it exists. Yeah, it looked up, it's already fucking exist. You can't do bin lid pedal. You guys know what bins are? Nothing, I'm just kidding. What famous equation is Albert Einstein known for? He said E equals MC squared, it's how to split atoms. Is that correct, Kevin?

It's not about how to split atoms. It does tell you that the amount of energy when you split an atom is very large. But it doesn't actually say anything about atoms. It says energy. It says energy. Yeah, what does it say? It says-

Equals. It says that energy is equal to the mass of an object that's converted- The converted energy. Of the object. Kevin, you gotta let him finish. Twice. Times two. Squared. Times the speed of light squared. So it says a small amount of mass change in an atom even if you go from one atom to one that's slightly lighter like when you split it in half it releases a very

large amount of energy. like much more than chemicals. If you say that he didn't even know it could be used to split the atom, what did he think that theory could be used for? And is it used on other things? Oh, it's used in all sorts of things. Okay, so what else? Because I always thought it was just the nuclear bomb.

So like if I, when I break open a peanut, have I done that then? Yeah, yeah you used it then too. I used it then. But a very small amount of mass there. Because the energy. A very small amount of mass there. And I did that and the dust went like that.

And only when you split an atom is there so much, even though it's still a small amount, only about 1% of the mass, that's still an enormous amount of energy. And that's why an atom bomb can be big and why nuclear power has to be. What other things are we splitting with equals MC squared? What's other splitting? Well, we use it in all kinds of stuff. We use it when we talk to satellites in space. In fact, when you use GPS,

you have to use equals MC squared. You have to use Einstein's theories because if you don't, you'll get the wrong answer and you'll be lost. So why is my GPS not blowing up and just getting bigger and bigger and including stuff? Well, because it's just, in that case it's just used in the math to computer. Yeah, it's not always splitting an atom. It's not always splitting an atom. But isn't it anything you split gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger?

But we're not splitting atoms here. If I split this carpet, it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. It doesn't get bigger, first gets bigger and bigger and bigger. It doesn't get bigger, first of all. It just splits. That was the whole movie. They didn't know how big it would get. But you're splitting an atom, not a carpet. I know less now.

Next question. So a separate part is, so E equals MC squared tells you about how much energy is released, but when you split an atom, the thing that made the atom bomb work and makes nuclear power work is the fact that you could start a chain reaction where neutrons are given off and then those neutrons tell other atoms to split in half and then they give off more neutrons and that's the chain reaction that causes a huge amount of energy and all the atoms to split all at the same time. I'll ask you this right because everything is saying you might as well be speaking.

I was like, were you paying attention or were you staring through his head? No, no, no, no, no. You might as well have been speaking Chinese. So that is... Which I'm fluent in. That chain reaction is the thing that Einstein did not know about. I would have understood more. Yeah, he did not know about it.

In fact, he told people that it wasn't possible. He's like, no, the amount... If you wanted to get energy out of an atom, you have to put more energy in than you'd get out So we'll never work, but without him would have we come up With the nuclear bomb probably not really because I think I'm sorry there would have been another blade Well because all a whole bunch of people were studying the same stuff at the same time But they didn't have the hair so that we don't know about it, but Oppenheimer Otto other

Dirac Teller there were tons of scientists studying this at the same time. They definitely used Einstein's theory to study more about how atoms work, what sticks them together, that kind of thing. Was he, in your opinion, the most important scientist that's ever lived? That's never lived. Yeah, actually, I think he is, yeah. Who's your top? Who's your Mount Rushmore scientist? Deroch is definitely up there. Never heard of him. What did Deroch come up with? A bunch of other equations that got less press. But is he responsible? It's like the Deroch equation which is very similar to

equals MC squared but the math's harder so it doesn't make it onto a chalkboard. Yeah okay he never stuck his tongue out. Deroch? Alright, who else? He also wasn't much of a people pleaser so he didn't even really... Oh I didn't know that Einstein was a people pleaser. Well I mean he stuck his tongue out. Yeah and he rode a bike once. Alright so you got Off, you got Daruk. You got Einstein, Daruk. Who's next? Oppenheimer was good. Man, I'm not sure I could be cold called on this.

This is embarrassing. Darwin? Yeah, what about Darwin? I was only a physicist. He went to Australia. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, well there's, okay. I just cut everybody's not a physicist out of the picture completely.

Why did Einstein win the Nobel Prize in physics in 1921? Jim said split the atom. Nope. He came up with a theory of thermos. He didn't even win it for that actually. So it's even more far removed and it weirdly isn't considered his best achievement, although it is important. He got it for the photoelectric effect, which actually makes it into another.

Yeah, yeah, what's that? Oh yeah, what is that? Hang on, let's ask a member of the audience. Ask the kid from Stanford with our car. And that's Jack's brother. We have Jack's brother. He is a physics major. So, hold on, Sean, come up here for a second, because if you thought this action,

this is what you actually did at school. Right. A tale of two brothers. Come up here, Sean Hackett. This is Jack's brother. This is what Jack would be like if he went into academics. All right, so what is it? Photoelectric effect is when a photon hits an electron and it causes that electron to move and they were able

to figure out that a photon was both a particle and also a wave at the same time. Pretty close. The battle of the nerds! Alright, so what did he do wrong? What did he get wrong there? I mean, I want to try a nerd. I said neutron. I said neutron. That's the singular.

Bounce isn't the scientific term. It's the singular you meant to hope for. It was close enough. Where did he go wrong? We need the people in their car to know the right answer. Darwin from Australia said. Could he have a sea of electrons and knock an electron free from that sea Yeah, he said knock you said bounce I knew you were gonna go there

That's not what the hit did. That's your fucking fuck face. All right, all right. Sean, you did great. He's got a doctorate, you know. It was cute that you looked at Kevin the whole time. You were like, is this right? You were like lovingly looking at his eyes. Sean Hackett, everyone.

Nice job, Sean. Good job, Sean. Don't let Kevin keep you down. Maybe he can hire you one day. So we don't hear about it much because it actually isn't even used that much in normal day life and technology, but it was really important because it was one of the first introductions and this he did reference to quantum mechanics, that things are made of particles and waves and that was extremely important.

Okay, so quantum leaping. Is that a thing? That's a thing, I love that show by the way. Is it a plausible thing to quantum leap? Yes. Should that show be called quantum leap or are they just using a word of yours and slapping on the front of?

We don't actually use that in everyday nuclear physicists talk. So what does the term quantum leap mean? It means that when a particle like an electron goes from one state to another state without going in between and it just appears suddenly in the other state. We need that for traveling. And I'm gonna give a little hint that sounds a little spooky doesn't it? The problem with quantum leap is he always went back and changed the past wouldn't the future But he's home you're not meant to tamper with the past when you travel in the past Otherwise you fuck up the future. There's an episode where he's Elvis. Yeah, NBC just added the time travel stuff The new series the new season of quantum Yeah, you know, the new series,

the new season of Quantum Leap. So, Jim, what did Einstein mean by spooky action at a distance? I don't know. Ooh. I don't know. Why the fuck would I know that? I don't know.

He just told you it was a hint. I don't know. I don't know. Fucking Scott Bakula. What is it, Kevin? Okay, so even though Einstein was really instrumental I'm fucking Scott Bakula. What is it, Kevin? OK, so even though Einstein was really instrumental in helping quantum mechanics be invented,

he actually hated it. And he hated many things about it. There's even another question related to that. But one of the things he doesn't like is that quantum mechanics says that a wave function, like if a particle is a wave and a particle at the same time, it can do, rather than like a billiard ball that moves from one place to the other,

so like it hits one ball and then hits another ball, and that makes sense, that feels sane. Quantum mechanics allows something in a wave to just suddenly create something across the room, or even across the universe, and he hated this because he said that doesn't make any sense He's like that and he called that spooky action at a distance And this is actually kind of an unresolved problem today because it it actually still really upsets physicists We don't have a good way to resolve it

Unfortunately, how does Scott back? Yeah, I Get yeah Scott bacula Was in a TV show called Men of a Certain Age 10 years ago with Ray Romano. I know how old Ray Romano is. They were both meant to be of the certain age. Scott Bakula is 61 years old. 69. Oh, that's a bit of a face. He's looking good for 69. I'd give him one. Fuckin' he's one of the better looking fuckin'—

Can we answer that one? He's one of the better looking blokes. No, we're back up there. Yeah, okay. How did Einstein's theories influence the development of the atomic bomb? This is gonna shock you, but Jim said split the atom. As I mentioned already, he didn't really come up with the theory of splitting the atom, but it definitely showed that his theory showed very easily that a lot of energy would be released.

Like you said before, without him they wouldn't have been able to. Yeah, and so that was the reason that immediately, and if you see the movie Oppenheimer you can see this, when they knew that they could, when immediately, and if you see the movie Oppenheimer, you can see this. When they knew that they could, when they learned that they could split the atom, they immediately were thinking this can be used in a bomb. What was the famous letter? Did they visit him at a pond?

Was that a real thing? Yeah, yeah, that's a real thing. Because I would have done that meeting in a room. Everyone, it turns out that there's a good chance in the movie Oppenheimer that Einstein is homeless. He's always wearing just a dirty old coat and walking through the park. He looks like the old woman from Home Alone 2. And that really is the pond actually.

They filmed it on location at the Institute of Advanced Studies. What was the famous letter Einstein signed to President Roosevelt about? You said, dropping the bomb, don't do it, war was a good fort, love Einstein, PS, make a movie about my granddaughter getting banged, and let's get some T-shirts printed with my tongue sticking out, etc. Was that right, Kevin? Not really. Part of it was right, Kevin? Not really.

Part of it was right, though. Don't drop the bomb, man. No, he didn't say that in the letter. And then afterwards, Eisenhower was like this. Oh, man, I just checked my DMs. I missed this. Already pressed the button. Quite the opposite, actually.

So Einstein was public about telling people you couldn't harness the power of an atom to make a bomb when people were saying, doesn't your theory say this? And he was telling people, you can't do that because you'd always get less energy than you put in to split an atom. As soon as other concerned scientists came to him and said, look, we just discovered that atoms split in half

and they can do it in a chain reaction, they told him and he immediately realized he was wrong and he got very concerned and those scientists were like you have to warn the president because if Hitler figures out how to do this and they would figure it out very quickly at the same time. The Germans are very efficient people. A letter takes so long. They wouldn't have done it in a different way. Well, they use email nowadays or text. Or Morse code. And so he was saying,

look, it's come to my attention, you absolutely can make a bomb using my theories, but not because I invented Splatoon. So we should make a program to do that. I don't have the letter memorized, but. So he was like, let's get the Manhattan Project up.

Yeah, basically. Certainly that letter led to the Manhattan Project being started. And why? How many times have you masturbated to that movie? Pass. In the theater? That's the only way to watch it. You can't see it on a small screen.

It needed an IMAX. When did IMAX stop being massive? Do you remember when IMAX was this big screen? When you saw something in IMAX and you went, oh wow, it's so big. Then they got rid of all those cinemas and then they just started saying to us, this is in IMAX.

No, it's not. Those theaters are still there. There's only two IMAX screens in LA. They made like different IMAX categories to bullshit you. Yeah, bullshit it. Yeah, it's all lies. Because there was the IMAX, I'm gonna see something massive

and then there's the IMAX, just believe us. Same Jack Donald, different screen. And why does any person who's noticed this? That you went to a movie, we're going to see it in IMAX and it was just a normal fucking cinema? Yeah, we call it LIMAX. Who's we? You and you? My film school friends.

Yeah, film school friends, yeah that would be, yeah. LIMAX is a good name. He calls it CLIMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX.

IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX.

IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX.

IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. IMAX. joke ever. Why did Einstein renounce his German citizenship twice? He said

because he wanted to say what I said exactly. He said he's a vegetarian and then all I wrote was Jewish Nazi refugee second time he went back tried boiled meat and was like fuck this I'm out again. That's pretty close. Yeah pretty close. That one's a half right so So you definitely got the Nazi thing. Good for you. Yeah, yeah. I know that name. I just watched the documentary.

But the first time was actually much earlier and that was to avoid military service. Oh, he was a coward. Yeah, he was a coward. He was a military coward twice. Yeah. Even Trump only did it once. He had shin splints. Yeah. And he didn't try to-

Bone spurs. I think on the back of his heels. Bones spurs. Yeah. Bones spurs. Stopped him. Yeah. No, he's great at marketing.

You were right about that. Like, nobody ever talks about the military. Right. So- He was fleeing the Nazis. No, but was this- What about the first one? Was this during World War I?

No, it was before that in the 1800s. Oh, so there wasn't even a war going on. There wasn't even a war. He just didn't want to do it. Oh, fuck off, Einstein. If I ever get into a fight and someone backs down, I go, Who are you, fucking Einstein? You coward. Obviously, you don't know all the things I know. What does the Einstein syndrome refer to?

You said perceived to be intelligent because of his haircut. Yeah, that's it man. It's like the Paris syndrome, isn't it? They reckon that people go to Paris and they get disappointed because they've always had this magical idea of it and then you go there and it's all right. So this one I actually... That is the Paris effect. I had to Google this one. I didn't actually know this one.

So my answer is much better than Google. What, the whole world? Because Einstein had a lot of trouble learning to speak and learning to read. And even though he's very smart, he was slow to show that intelligence when he was a kid. When a kid displays that now, they call that Einstein's. Right, I know all about it.

So if a child's delayed in speech or something like that, in case of my, he's fine now, but my little boy, the three year old was a little bit behind, little tiny bit behind, and that's what everyone says to you. Do you know Einstein? No. The amount of times you go, he's a bit behind in his speech.

Yeah, but Einstein, he didn't say anything till he was five. And then there's a bit of bullshit that goes along with it. And then when he did talk, someone was like, why don't you talk? And he was like, because I've never found the need to. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, all right, all right.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's writing on a pane of a window. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,, but like, it's always like people look at your kid and they're like, well, you know, Einstein didn't, uh, and then I'm looking at Mike and he's smearing shit on his face. And I'm like, yeah, that's not it. I'm worried it's like IMAX where people are just trying to, you know, people are throwing

around the name now. Like, just like you said, yeah, I know know they always like Einstein is more synonymous for not talking till he was five Yes, I'm on parenting forums then fucking anyone don't worry parents are like no. He's a genius The same is like oh the screen's big time axe You take your kid to get a sister turns out that your kids root Einstein What was Einstein's attitude towards organized religion so it wasn't into it? to get assessed, it turns out that your kids root Einstein. What was Einstein's attitude towards organized religion so he wasn't into it?

I guess this God does not play dice is kind of connected, right? Actually no, they're not connected. Not that into it is pretty good, although he did talk about God quite a lot and it's still debated. Does he believe in God? That's still debated a lot actually. People aren't sure. I once played an atheist convention.

He certainly talked about that a lot. I did. It was my first gig I ever got paid like $20,000 to do, like a one-off gig. I had never been paid anywhere close to that, but I had a couple of God-related comedy routines. And then they said to me, here's $20,000 to come and play an atheist convention.

Now I'll tell you something about atheists. They don't half like looking like God. The amount of cunts with long white hair and beards going, there is nothing after this, walking around the place, is fucking remarkable. Everybody, they're all scientists who think they're God at atheist conventions. It's just us. I'm the most intelligent one of all of us. Anyway, I remember standing on stage thinking I was getting paid so much money. I was like, even if I find God, I won't admit it. Because these gigs are too good.

I want to go on this atheist circuit. I never got admit it. Ha ha ha ha. Cause these gigs are too good. I wanna go on this atheist circuit. I never got another one. So he certainly didn't believe, he actually didn't believe the universe was, started at the Big Bang, which is kind of interesting, cause we'll get into that. His theories actually predict it, but he didn't believe it.

He thought the universe was infinite in all directions and in time. And he also didn't really believe in, let's say, conventional morals. So he was... Yeah, he fucked around, did he? Yeah. Didn't he marry his cousin? He married his cousin.

That's very unconventional. Yeah, no, I'm trying to fuck, for sure. Let me just... Okay, don't explain this man as a genius right next time you go Well, you know who invented that a fucking incestuous war dodging prick a Guy who dodges the war and lets others die why fucks his cousin. That's the top That's the top account who invented the nuclear bomb. He also what he was courting his

His second wife who was his cousin, he was actually more interested. That must have been, he should have already been in his phone book, he's a good fighter. He was more interested in her daughter from a previous marriage first, and that settled for marrying her. Yeah. Yeah, so he really can separate a group, hey?

He really can get in there and divide and make some nuclear activity. There's also a club in Altadena California where I used to live there and I've been to the club you can go there. Well, I can go there I don't think you guys can go there, but I could go there and this club he used to hang out and and Flirt with actresses and Hollywood types and he was... Why can you go there and we can't go there? Yeah, no, because it doesn't exist anymore. He wasn't just saying you can't go there.

We all can't go there anymore. Oh, it's not there anymore? Or is it like some special physicist's work? They let me in, I could go flirt with Albert or whatever. So he's a bit rabid. He... He fucks his cousins and all their daughters. Previous marriage though. And he dodged the war. But he makes for a hell of a t-shirt. From what I gather is he came up with a few equations that he didn't think worked. Every time he came up with an equation,

he was like this, yeah, you can't do it. But you just said we could, nah, I thought you could, but you can, but not on the thing you're trying to do it on. You can do it. It's meant to be braced in bread. All right, how did Einstein's brain differ from the average brain? You gotta write a letter to the president. You said more intelligent and then it would be a large jar

with more cum than the average brain would have on it. A little bit of cum. More cum. A lot of cum. I don't have a strong opinion about the second one, I'm guessing not, but I don't have a strong opinion about the second one I'm guessing not but I you know I don't know I don't guard the jar but it is preserved and it's studied and as far as I know people are pretty surprised to see that it doesn't seem to be that different from other brains although there's like a million papers that people say but this is different why would it be different well I mean like the larger if you put my heart next to some athlete's heart,

you're not gonna go, whoa. One will be stronger, one will be better. Yeah, it's a heart though. Not to the naked eye. Well, a lot of people do. So you think intelligent people, when you pull the brain out, when they were mummifying people,

they had to take the brain out, they'd hook up and through the nose, you know that one. They were taking the bone out and they were, fucking hell, this cunt was intelligent. You would think there'd be something different, no? A lot of people thought that they'd be... There's graffiti over it. Oh, mathematical equations. And mine's just got pitches of tits.

I mean, a lot of people thought it would be bigger. I mean, athletes are bigger. They have bigger muscles. But the brain is different than a muscle in that Something about intelligence is a little different Elephants have bigger brains than us It's not like they're walking around going, oh I've got some theories Yeah, but squirrels don't and they're kind of dumb You call yourself a scientist

What is the twin paradox or the Einstein's theories, which one should I fuck? That's what I wrote down You call yourself a scientist. What is the twin paradox related to Einstein's theories? Which one should I fuck? That's what I wrote down. What is the twin paradox? I love that because knowing Einstein I thought that might also be his side joke when he goes off stage. Yeah, the twin paradox is a prediction from his theory of special relativity, which is that if two twins leave Earth and one accelerates

to the speed of, near the speed of light, time will slow down. That's one of the predictions of Einstein's theory of special relativity. And when they turn around and come back to Earth, one will have experienced less time than the other. And this actually happens all the time. it happens with GPS satellites it even happened with the Apollo astronauts they aged less than everybody they were slightly younger than everyone at the same time. You don't need twins to do this you can just send one person up in space and see if they hold their age better than all the rest of us you don't need the other twin to go oh oh, that one's... You'd be older. You'd be older. You'd send the... What is it with the fucking

Germans experimenting on twins? It's a metaphor, Jim. It's a metaphor. If you were a German walking around like a twin, you'd be like, oh, fuck. Don't just one of us leave at a time. Don't hang out together. They're fucking fascinated. Anyway, the movie Interstellar, Kip Thorne who I learned relativity from, he was my professor, he was the executive producer of that, and they actually demonstrate the twin paradox

to kind of an extreme, although they also, they involve some stuff about general relativity and black holes, but the basic idea is there, where the dad leaves his daughter and when he comes back to Earth, she's even older than he is when he left.

Right, okay. There's some theories that- Is that a shitty dad or a good dad? That's an important thing on the topic. Where have you been my whole life? Where have you been my whole life? Science. By the way, there's some theories that say elephants are more superior intelligence to

humans. Really? Why aren't they taking my teeth? Those aren't teeth, first of all. That's the closest thing they have. If I had tusks as well, the joke is solid. Yeah, but it just shows that you're dumber than an elephant. I despise poaching of animals, by the way.

I despise that as a human being, but the joke was too good. What did Einstein mean by saying God does not play dice? He would have said it like this, hey! But with a German accent. The next word is clay. Einstein, as I mentioned earlier, he swears too much, so he never puts his album on. Old mother Huppert and Einstein was like, I like this guy!

In addition to the spooky action at a distance, quantum mechanics also predicts that things are fundamentally random sometimes. No matter how well you understand a system, you will get a different result from the experiment. And Einstein hated this also about quantum mechanics. And he said God does not play dice to make a point. He thought that God created the universe and again I think he used God sort of metaphorically here for but he thought the universe was deterministic meaning if you understand everything that's happening you would get the same result

and you'd understand that and this also is a thing that people argue about and talk about today and it's a really important part of physics. Alright, how did Einstein contribute to understanding of the universe's expansion? I think this is my favorite answer. He was the first guy that talked about it. He might be. I thought the universe was eternal. I don't quite know why he thought that because it's not super common belief, but he did. He was very upset because he realized his theory of general relativity said that the universe would collapse on itself.

There's no such thing as a static universe. He added this term, which he called the cosmological constant. And he put it in the original equations. And but then later the Big Bang was discovered in Pasadena on Mount Wilson, where we get all our TV signals from. That's where it was discovered? Yeah. Yeah. Hubble went up to the top of that and he looked at distant galaxies and he

realized that the further you look out In LA? In LA. Yeah. Through the smog and everything. This and pink sock dogs. You know there's like, there's all sorts of smart people in Pasadena right? Kevin's invited you to take a tour.

I don't know. I know these tar pits or something. I haven't seen them. people in Pasadena right the Kevin's invited you to take a tour or something I haven't seen I gotta go look at the top it's people tell me about that yeah the views wasted on me that's down you know so when Hubble went up and looked at distant galaxies realized they were going away from us and the further you looked the faster they were going away and that the conclusion was that the universe was expanding and you could even predict how far back in time it went it's about 14 billion years and when Einstein learned about this he was actually relieved

because it turns out once you know that there's you don't no longer need this cosmological constant. That must have been a good day for Einstein because he would have believed one thing his whole life and he would have sat back that night going, that's fucking, there's a big bank. And expanded, fuck. Yeah. How can I celebrate? And the Catholic church.

I'll fuck your sister. Come on, Stan, I'll fuck your sister. What's that accent? It's what he says to his wife, I'll fucking your sister. What's that accent? It's what he says to his wife, I'll fucking do it. I'm a terrible person. War. I didn't go.

So I used to turn around and call the cosmological constant his greatest mistake. His wife was probably like, what about that time you tried to date my daughter? That's his greatest mistake. I can't probably like, what about that time you tried to date my daughter? And then she's right as this day. I can't think of anything else I did wrong. Can anything escape a black hole? More comb jokes. It was cum coming out of an

asshole. I didn't say I was an asshole. In Einstein's theory, no. If there's something beyond Einstein's theory, then maybe that was also explored at Interstellar. I really recommend everybody watch Interstellar. Really good stuff. Is that the one with Jodie Foster? No. That's Contact.

Which one is that one? Contact. It's the one where the... Who's in that one? In Interstellar. McConaughey. Matthew McConaughey, yeah. Which one is that one? Contact. So one where the... Who's in that one? Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McConaughey, yeah. Is that the one where he's skinny and has AIDS?

No. That's Dallas Byers Club. He's skinny, but not that skinny. I love Jack. Jack makes jokes so earnestly. He just looked at me like tenderly, like, went, that's the Dallas Byers Club, Jim. That wasn an Oscar. Just like up and I'm thinking of a different film.

I've done it. I do it. I do a joke when I talk about sucking a cock in front of my wife. Right. And I go, I suck the cock like that. And Jack went to me, he was driving me home anyway. Did that happen? You did it.

You told it like it was a real story. Look, I mean, that's a fair question. No, but I did it very, I did it very comically. I know the joke, yeah, I know. I mean, the rest of the joke is that. Like, you would have, you would know. It was a homeless guy. I said I paid a homeless man $20.

I don't remember that, I don't remember that part of the story. I said I paid a homeless man $20 to come and fuck my mouth in front of my wife for our wedding anniversary. Obviously this is a premise. I think you skipped that part. And then he was real nervous about it. So Jim, just wondering what the truth is in this story. Just a quick question.

Did you and would you do it again? Did you and would you do it again? The next question we already did, photoelectric, your brother came up for that. Yeah, thank you Sean. Got chastised. How did Einstein's... Sean was an idiot. Bounced for a... Sean came up like a slack-jawed local, local, and he said, who bounced?

Like that. And then he had to come in and go, I think you'll find, they reacted, they, I don't even know what, he knocked. Bounced is such a better word, I don't even know what knocked means. Knock means dunk, dunk, like that, bounce, does that. Are they doing that, are they doing that? All right, A minus, he gets an A minus. What did, are they doing that? Are they doing that? All right, A-. He gets an A-.

Are they doing that? Is there a trampoline they hit him and come up or are they bashing and being stilted in a vertical way? Is there a horizontal bouncy surface next to a vertical solid? It's spooky. I know less now. You know he fucked his sister, or no, not his sister, whatever, his cousin. How did Einstein's theory of general relativity get confirmed in 1919? Jim said to send it away like the trading cards,

a hundred bucks. PSA is the best company. They get you the best line. Sir Arthur Eddington went on the top of a, he went off to travel the world to go to an eclipse that was scheduled to happen in 1910. Oh aren't they boring. And Einstein's... Oh we just had a long one. Oh God. Wasn't that an overhyped experience? And then your eyes hurt all day. And Einstein's theory predicted that light would be bent by the gravity of the sun.

And in Newton's theory, which predated it, it wouldn't bend because light's massless. And it bent by... Idiots. And so, are they ready to set up a telescope looking at the star before the black hole? I'm sorry, before the eclipse and during the eclipse and since the light from the sun was gone because the light from the sun was gone they could see the star and it sure enough had been by exactly the amount that Einstein's theory predicted and everyone was like that's great. But you can't prove that the world's round.

Well I can't, no the world's round. Well, I can't. No. I don't even try. No one's done it. On the way home, Jackson is, do you think the world's round? The next two we already answered. And then, so why was Einstein's work on the Manhattan Project minimal?

I think he answered that sort of already. Well, it wasn't just that he didn't invent it in the first place, but he really didn't want to be part of making it. That part was right. Even though he wrote that letter, he didn't want, he didn't find that. Oh, so you don't need him around the Manhattan Project

showboating. They made that little village, right? The little town they made. They all moved out into the town. There's a school and this and that. You don't need, he these the fucking Justin Bieber of sciences The girls they love it Last question why did Einstein move to the United States in 1933?

I don't remember what your answer was. I didn't write it down. Is it one of his mates? By saying that I sang the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Oh, that's what it was, yeah. That's why I didn't write it down. To lyrics of the beginning of the Holocaust. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I think in comedy has never been done. That's my theory. I feel like that's a true original.

Definitely. I think that's an original. That's why I didn't type it. A lot of words. Why did he move to United States? Kind of a no-brainer. He was that's an original. That's why I didn't type it. A lot of words. Why did he move to the United States? Kind of a no-brainer. He was scared of the Nazis. Yeah. Why was that?

We like to teach, Billy. Why was he scared of the Nazis? Well, he was Jewish, so, you know. And what happened with them? I'd like to get another historian or something to talk about that one. Now is a part of our show called Dinner Party Facts. We ask our expert to give us a fact, something interesting obscure about the subject that they can do so press me. Did you not do this?

I did it. I forgot it, which is awful. That's OK. You should have saved up, you fucking sister. I don't. Fuck the cousin. fuck the cousin and then fuck her. That was the one I was gonna do and I already revealed it. Oh really? Oh I said that, I'm sorry.

He's saying his cousin. I'll think about it. Does anyone here know anything exciting about, does anyone wanna be the dinner party fact for Einstein? Has anyone got one? Sean? You've got one! I mean, I don't know if I...

What's your name, hello, what's your name? Alana. Alana, my, my, my, I don't know if I... What's your name? Hello, what's your name? Alana. Alana, my, I'll tell you a funny, quick story. My niece is called Alana, and every time, every time my mother, we went to name one of our children, my mother would cause a scene. She could not cause a scene. I can say this now, because she's dead.

And she would always cause a scene, my mother, and every so when I said, I'm gonna name my son Hank, oh, that name is so common. He can't be, I'll call him Henry. No you won't, his name's fucking Hank. You're not gonna call him anything else. Anyway, so my brother went like this, the funniest thing I've ever heard my brother say,

he goes, we're gonna call our daughter Alana. And my mother goes, you can't call her Alana People will call her Alana banana And my brother said well better than your nickname Carolyn the bitch Very funny thing to say, a lot of banana. What do you got first? So I heard that, I don't know which of his two wives, but I believe that one of his wives

did a lot of the math for some of his early work, I think. That was something that I feel like gets talked about in women in STEM seminars. I don't know if it's true. I like that movie Hidden Figures. Yeah. Yeah. It might be these women doing math and stuff. It don't know if it's true. I like that movie Hidden Figures. Yeah. Yeah. It might be these women doing math and stuff.

That probably is something that's talked about women in STEM stuff, but it never was talked about in my classes, my med stuff. Okay, the people he hang around never met women. I think. And his first wife was one of his students. She probably did do a lot.

She was a Serbian mathematician who studied at Zerk Polytechnic where she excelled in a male-dominated field. Interval calculus, descriptive, yeah. So she checks out. And he wasn't very nice to her either. Well yeah, he fucked his cousin after that. All I've learned is that maybe Einstein is the worst German that's ever lived. This says that he gave her credit. Some say, oh some say,

Einstein would boast that his wife solved all of his mathematical problems and others would claim that she co-authored his famous 1905 relativity paper. There you go. Malaiva Merrick. Let's get a picture of Malaiva sticking her tongue out. She looks, yeah. People would abuse that photo. That's the difference.

The difference between men and women. You people are more respectful. Another fact is that Einstein couldn't actually solve his own equations. A lot of people don't realize this, but he wasn't actually that good at math. And I don't mean he's bad at math like the way a lot of us are, but compared to other theoretical physicists,

he didn't really like math that much. Appreciate you didn't look at me then. Yeah. I mean, you just said a lot of this, and then you just went over the top of the crowd. He solved a few things here and there but the first solution, the really good solution that came out of Einstein's theory was for black hole and that's when it got really interesting. And it was actually solved by a German named Schwarzschild who he solved it while fighting

in World War I in the trenches. He solved it in the trenches. And I said, I skipped military conscription. It was off-limits. He was running on a dead body of blood. It was a stick and a bit of mud. Cut off that leg's trench foot for me there. I need someone to prop up.

You're raising your hand sir? For a dinner fact? Oh yeah you got one? Alright we should have done this every time. What's your name sir? My name is Richard. Good day Richard. Are you a physicist?

No I'm actually a historian. Oh, OK. I'm a history professor at Pierce College. He was just doing Van Gogh the other day. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, you're right about Einstein being a rock star. And the tongue picture was at his 70th birthday.

He was getting in a cab, and they took a picture of him, and you're like that. That's where it came from. But my fun fact is that when he came over, he was a rock star of science, and he came to Hollywood, and all the big movie stars wanted to be seen with him and have a picture taken. Well, Einstein was also an excellent concert quality

violinist. And someone said, you know what you should do? Have a duet with Harpo Marx. He plays the harp, and they do write harp violin duet music. So it means, oh, okay, he would do it. So they're playing. Well, Harpo was self-taught, and in fact, he played the harp on the wrong side so he was muscling along and they're playing together and Harpo made a mistake and

Einstein stopped and then went and then they started over again and then they're playing away and then Harpo made... What do you think? I don't know. He's a historian, Jim. You know the thing about quantum theory and quantum leap? I was there. So anyway. Scott Pachula. So they go back to playing away and Harpo made another mistake. Einstein stopped.

He put his violin in his case and closed it and walked out. Whoa. So he was a dick. He was a dick. Yeah, it's confirmed. If you weren't good enough to play on his level, he didn't want to play with you. Yeah.

Thank you. That was great. That was awesome. Very good. I always thought Harpo was the guy who didn't talk around. Honk honk. Was that which was that one? That's all right. So he also played the harp. It would have been better.

It would have been better if Mozart was like. Honk. Then you got yourself a show. I don't want to listen to a harp. Fucking do the trick you do. Like that. Do your bit, Harpo. I heard that Harpo was, I think we, I heard this on my own podcast. I think it was the last live podcast we did. Sinatra. Sinatra's wife was Har podcast we did with Sinatra.

Sinatra's wife was Harpo's wife and Sinatra just nicked her. And they went over and they lived next door to each other in Palm Springs. And he came over and they used to play charades and then like obviously Sinatra alpha mailed the shit out of Harpo. And then took Harpo's wife, right? But they lived next door to each other. So maybe they were fucking and they heard a faint grr grr grr. They heard the little sound of his heart breaking. Grr grr grr.

Hey, don't listen to that guy. Or I'll slap you like I'm Einstein. All right. Thank you. That's what he was saying. Thank you to Dr. Kevin Peter Hickerson for being here. Thanks for having me. Make sure you find him on Instagram or X at KP Hickerson and yeah, you'll find out about

his new company, Earth and Your Ink Company on there. Maybe you won't. I don't know. But thanks for being here. All right, thanks for having me. All right, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a great podcast, great live audience, you're a lot of fun.

We're only an hour 40, fuck it, oh, we have to do a lot of stuff there. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're ever at a party and someone comes up to you and goes, Einstein didn't try to fuck my sister. Go, well, I don't know about that. Walk away. Goodnight Australia.