I Don't Know About That - Halloween

Episode Date: October 26, 2021

In this episode, the team discusses Halloween with six-time Bram Stoker Award-winning author and host of the "Spine Tinglers with Lisa Morton" podcast, Lisa Morton (@LisaMortonInLA). Go to LisaMorton.com to learn more! Make sure to listen to "Spine Tinglers with Lisa Morton" on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Go to LoopedLive.com to buy tickets to our live virtual event! Find it under upcoming experiences! Go to JimJefferies.com to buy tickets to Jim's upcoming tour, The Moist Tour.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ocean, the sky, what animals can exist in both? You might find out, and I don't know about that, with Jim Jefferies. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Pelicans. Yeah, pelicans can exist. Yeah, gulls. Gulls. Plumrants. I have theories on, I think we did this. Flying fish. I don't think. Yeah, you answered the question. But I think there's a lot of birds, like penguins aren't birds.

Shut up. They don't fly anyways. Shut up. They're just wobbling around. They're not fucking birds. Get the fuck out of here. They might be anatomically. Science might say that they are, but they're fucking not.

No one's ever gone, oh, can I have some chicken wings? Oh, we've only got penguin. You could have some chicken, I think, the little stubs. Yeah, but could you eat them? Yeah, yeah. I reckon that's just cartilage. They're pretty good. There's no bones in the stubs.

Do you reckon there's bones in the scubs or do you reckon they're just fucking flippers? They have them at Buffalo Wild Wings now. Have you seen Penguin Town on Netflix yet? So good. I'm just too busy. Wait, wasn't there like a big movie with them? I feel like that would have cleared it up.

Happy Feet is their big one. One of the more boring of all the ones where they sing. But they mate for life and they give each other pebbles. Lisa Curry's here. Speaking of people who mate for life and have pebbles. What? You have pebbles? We're Lisa Curry's here. Speaking of people who mate for life. Pebbles. What? You have pebbles?

She mates for life. Okay. Whether it's with the same person, but during her life, she's doing it. Well, Lisa's here because she has some exciting news. Oh, here we go. Oh, yeah. Well, that sounds really. This isn't a good platform to me too. This is my podcast.

Is that exciting? I'm getting a head transplant. To our head trans people, we're sorry. My comedy album was submitted for Grammy consideration. It's very exciting. Really exciting. And there's the more exciting part is very few very exciting, really exciting. And there's a, the more exciting part is very few albums were submitted this year.

So I have a better shot. I like how you have a low self-esteem of yourself. You have to print like a thousand copies. That's why not even anymore. Oh, well back in the day, if you want to go to my garage, there's a lot of albums.

Don't tell people that they're going to start asking us to send them for free. So, so how many people are you up against? I think there's only like 15 or 20 of us. Oh, it's like a one in three, one in four chance. Can people do stuff to help you? Yeah. If you're in the recording Academy, just vote for me, please.

I'm in the recording Academy. You never know. There's a lot of people secretly in there. Am I in it? In the Grammy consideration? No, I've put myself up to consider it. I haven't brought out

a special this year. So that would hamper my attempts. Are you in the recording? Yeah, that's what I'm asking. Why are you asking me? I don't know. I don't know.

Jack, am I? If you join, it helps your chances, but you have to be recommended by somebody in the Academy. I don't even know who's nominated besides you, but I'm predicting either John Mulaney or Patton Oswalt wins because that's who always wins. Neither of them have albums in this cycle.

I vote for Weird Al every year. And Bo Burnham was disqualified. Till the day I die. Wait, how was Bo Burnham disqualified? I don't know. I think because his album's too musical. They're like, you don't need this. Get of here get enough money that's crazy to disqualify like that would be the one i was thinking was gonna win for sure okay oh wow yeah she texted me the

link that he got canceled she's like good choice good chances for me so you got a real shot here oh well good luck We'll follow that story. Jack, what do we got? No, wait, wait. You have to promote your shows. No, no, no. Jack, what shows do I got to promote? The Ace Theater is the ones that I want to promote.

Six and Seven. Here in Los Angeles, Six and Seven. Yeah, one of them sold out. One of them isn't. I can't tell you which one. Go find out at jimjeffries.com. Whatever the second one put on was. And don't forget our live virtual show, November 9th at 6 p.m. Go find tickets on Looped Live.

And if you can't make it live, it will still play for 72 hours afterwards. It's a special podcast. So we will not be posting that episode on YouTube or any of that stuff. So the only way you can see it is if you go to that link. Also, I got gigs coming up. Where have I got gigs coming up, Jack? In of that stuff. So the only way you can see it is if you go to that link. Also, I got gigs coming up. Where have I got gigs coming up, Jack? In Oklahoma and stuff. No, no, we've done those.

They were great. Omaha. Omaha. The people of Omaha. People of Omaha have been waiting to see you again. It's been a long time. I got some new stuff for you in Omaha. I haven't seen you in 10 years.

Omaha's cute. Yeah, it's nice. I did a comedy club last time I was there. Where else, Jack? Minneapolis. Minneapolis. it's nice. I did a comedy club last time I was there. Where else, Jack? Minneapolis. Minneapolis. Minneapolis, we added a second show. Minneapolis, come to the second show. We'll bloody put on a good show for you. We're going to have jokes. We're going to have Amos

Gill might be there with his humor. He'll be coming out telling some jokes. He's not going to be there. Oh, then don't come to the show. I think Justin Martindale and J.J. Whitehead will be there. Justin Martindale and J.J. Whitehead will be there. J.J. Martindale and J.J. Whitehead. Oh, is that where we went to the gay club last night? That's where we went to the gay club with Justin. I will be at the gay club over the road for the theater

because I'm with Justin Martindale. I'll be watching that bloke in the shower whipping dollars up with his dick against the wall. Is that where the meet and greet is at the gay club? That's where the meet is. Anyway, so I'll be greeting it. They won't be asking me to but there's a shower in there where a naked guy and you can put a dollar through there

and then he'll whip it up against the wall with his big why why haven't i gone i don't know i'm wondering do you want to go to many i'm like yeah what are you doing in like it's where i heard the term like i said well i want to walk because there was all different gays of every walk of life you had your old school biker gay you you know, like village people type of. Yeah, it was a very diverse group. You know the village people, the oyster bar, like that classic one. I feel like that's the only place that that trope exists. Yeah, but they still.

The old school biker gay. Like the S&M gays. They had like, you know, you're more effeminate gays. You had your macho-y gays. You had all this type of stuff. And so I was with Justin. I said, let's go have a little walk around. I want to have a little look around, you know.

It was all different. It was like you could play pool. There was a guy in the shower. There was like a restaurant. It was like all different areas. Yeah, yeah. There was like more techno music than rock music. It was a wonderful place.

And I said, let's go around. And then Justin gave me the best word ever for when you walk around a gay bar and you look around, that's called a fruit loop. And that was told to me by a gay, so I didn't make that up. We were walking over there with one of the security guys from the theater, and it was clear he had been there before without even telling us because he goes, that's not the door. You've got to go over here, and then you've got to see this guy, Mike.

And we're like, oh, okay. All right, we know a lot about you now. You got the secret knockdown. Well, you guys. You don't need it there. They're letting everyone in. And they were like, oh, it's shower Sundays. It was like a Sunday.

It wasn't even like shower Sunday. And just these guys, you look great. They did fantastic figures on them, whipping dicks up the wall. You got it. You're naked in the shower. Of course you're not there. While you guys are having fun. I wonder how many tips I'd get if I was just up there,

just dad dancing in the shower. When you go home, do you wash yourself again? Or do you go, I've been showering all day? You don't want to prune up. Yeah. While you guys will be at the ace theater having fun i'll be in victoria british columbia and albert's is it called was it murdoch herman's i found out about it's the oldest uh it's it's the oldest jazz club in the in the i don't know

canada but they also have like a comedy room there and stuff. And Sunday night's gay night. We call it Herman's Head. Yeah. If you go to my website, forestraw.net, if you live in Victoria, British Columbia, I'll be there for three days, 5th, 6th, and 7th. But I was told for sure come out to the show on the 5th is the most important. I think the 6th is second.

I remember a lot of good looking people in Victoria. I've never been. I feel like that's the posh bit of Canada. You're in Canada, is it? I feel like that's their Hamptons. Right across the water from Vancouver. So Vancouver's there and then there's like you either take a ferry or a short plane ride and there's an island in Victoria,

British Columbia there. So 5th, 6th, and 7th, Victoria, British Columbia. Go to my website, 4shot.net. I have all the links there. Perfect. He'll be whipping dollar bills up against the wall with his dick. Come and see Forrest and his show. I will do that on Friday only.

All right, cowboy. All right. Yeah, mosey on his show. I will do that on Friday only. Alright, cowboy. Yeah, mosey on in here. Mosey on in. Oh, he's put... Oh! Jack's wearing a cowboy outfit. I wonder why he did that. He's also in the village, people.

Jack could do a fruit loop all day. No one would stop him. Alright, Jack. Jack's coming over. Let's just move across the couch. I want to see him sit next to, Jack. Okay, Jack's coming over. You have to move. I think you have to. Just move across the couch. I want to see him sit next to a girl, see how that works out. See what his posture does. Jack, why are you wearing a cowboy outfit?

You told me everyone else was going to be dressing up for this episode. It's coming out the, what are you dressed up as? Oh, wow. That's pretty nice. She's Richard Pryor from Richard Pryor Live. We're in one of the gold shoes. But she's been very subtle with the skin, Oh, wow. That's pretty nice. She's Richard Pryor from Richard Pryor Live. But she's been very subtle with the skin, which we appreciate. You won't get cancer, Lisa. It doesn't sound like something I would do.

Interesting. Forrest doesn't like fun. That's not his thing. Yeah, I wouldn't tell you to dress up. Forrest is dressed as a curmudgeon. Always. I walked in and I was like, what the fuck are you wearing? And he wasn't even wearing the badge or the spurs yet. Honestly, like without those two things,

it kind of looks like what he normally wears. So I wasn't sure if he was in costume or not. Are you wearing this to a Halloween party? I might. Yeah, it's always smart when you go to a party to put something on your face where you're unkissable. Well, that hasn't stopped anything before um it hasn't started anything before you talk differently with a mustache

do you uh it's going it's leaving okay yeah that's why you're talking different because you don't want to move your upper lip yeah there's a beach boys biopic which was i think it was a mini series or something that, and there's one scene where the guy's moustache just starts falling off and he just taps his hand and puts it back on, and that was the edit they used. That was like, how bad did the other edits go? How bad did the other takes?

Were they just like, oh, his whole face fell off in that one? What do you got for us, Joe? Well, because this episode's coming out the week of Halloween, I have some Halloween life hacks. Ooh. Use superglue to keep the mustache. What's a life hack? Isn't it a life hacket?

Yes. Halloween life hackets. Do you want to explain to our audience in case this is their first episode they've ever listened to? Life hacks. They're a way to make your life easier. So what's a life hacket? Life hackets are from me. Okay. Just explaining it for people.

I gave Jack the one of turning the carton sideways so your nose doesn't get in the way of the brim. It's a good one. He was using it the other day. I used it the other day. It works. Life hacket approved. Okay. First life hacket.

Hey, are you bad at carving pumpkins? I am. Just use a cookie cutter. You take a cookie cutter and you hit it in with a rubber mallet and it has a perfect shape of whatever the cookie cutter shape is. A star. So you're saying your pumpkins look like David Bowie or Elton John. They're two star-shaped eyes and then like a moon mouth.

Yeah, but you can get ghost shapes and whatever other shapes. Dog bone, a heart. Yeah, there's a bunch of different shapes. Butterfly. You can do dicks. You can do dicks? Yeah. So many options here. How about a Christmas tree? That'd be pretty good. Yeah, you can do Christmas trees. My one is snowman. Great hack it.

It's a pretty good one. No, it's not. do you need a mallet to do that or you just yeah rubber mallet probably helps rubber mallet

but don't hit too hard pumpkins are fragile that's true they're very fragile alright life hack it number two hey are you out of coolers

am I out of what coolers am I out of them yeah let me guess you're gonna put ice in a pumpkin that's right

did you think of all these no Let me guess, you're going to put ice in a pumpkin. That's right. Did you think of all these? No. I had to look these up. Have you ever put ice in a pumpkin? It's a great insulator. You're having two bees? How many bees?

Like six or seven. It's pretty good. That's a big ass pumpkin. You have to cut the top clean off. Not just to a little hole. It's so thick it insulates it pretty good. That's actually big ass pumpkin. Well, you'd have to cut the top clean off. Yeah, you cut the top off and you make it into a bowl shape. And because it's so thick, it insulates it pretty good. That's actually a good idea. But you just said, get a bowl. No, no, no. This is festive.

It's festive. It's fun. It's a pumpkin. It's cheap. Get a small bean. I'm enjoying you trying to talk with a mustache. Oh, yeah. Here we go.

This is a good one. Number three. Number three. You know, jack-o'-lanterns. You know how they often go rotten pretty quick and just start melting and get gooey and whatever and gross? Yeah. Don't use one. Your hack better not be throw them out.

Don't keep them on your porch. They'll smell eventually. Okay. It's number four uh if you coat the pumpkin with floor cleaner it'll preserve it for the uh wait a second you cut it with floor cleaner you coat it you coat it oh i thought you cut it like drugs it'll preserve it yeah what if you put it in wax yeah well that would work too yeah Why don't you just get a ceramic pumpkin? Oh, that's a forest hack. How long do you need your jack-o'-lantern up for?

Once Halloween's done, do you go, I wish this could go on forever? Well, sometimes they go rotten quicker than you think. I don't know if it's the cold weather or something that kills them, but I don't know. I think it's the hot weather. Is it the hot weather? Yeah.

Okay. That's good to know. What do you think we do when we freeze things? I don't know. They get the morgue, they put people. If you want to preserve a fish, put it in the sun. All right, well, here's my last one. This one's pretty cool. I'm not going to lie.

This one's pretty awesome. Yeah, I can't wait. All right, so you know what's kind of cool? You have like your drinks that glow. So sometimes you put like a glow stick in there. No one does that. Children do that. Or you have like a cup that has like a light in it.

If you ever want to make a girl dry up faster around you, get a fluffy drink that's glowing in the fucking dark and a moustache hanging off your face. Instead of... If you're ever at Margaritaville and you want the good times to keep going... Well, instead of using glow sticks,

just have a black light and use tonic water. Because tonic water glows blue under black light. That's pretty cool. But then you have to stand under the blacklight and then everyone's going to see your cum stains on your pants. But they'll think

your drink is cool. Did you cum in your drink? Yeah, cum in your drink so it looks like glow-in-the-dark fucking sea monkeys. How is anyone supposed to keep these mustaches on? Do these ever work for anybody? I don't think they're

movie quality. I wore one of those to work when I dressed as Luis for Halloween. Oh, that explains it. I thought Kelly just let it go for a bit. I can't grill it that dark. There's some Halloween life hacks for everyone out there. Wow, that was good, Jack.

Alright, please welcome our guest this week, Lisa Morton. Now it's time to play. Yes, no. Yes, no. Yes, no. Yes, no. Judging a book by its cover. Hello, Lisa.

Welcome to the podcast. Look, I just have to assume that we're talking about Halloween because Jack's dressed like Woody from Toy Story. Well, maybe we are, maybe we're not. I just told... The thing is, you will already have talked about Jack. I know. Yeah.

That's okay. The facts still remain the same. Maybe. Okay. Was that it? Yes. Have we talked about Halloween before? It feels like something we would have done before.

No, we did Christmas and Hanukkah, and we've done other holidays, but we've never done Halloween. All my answers are pagan. Okay. Lisa Morton is a six-time winner of the Bram Stoker Award, the author of four novels and over 150 short stories, and a world-class Halloween and paranormal expert. Her recent releases include Night terrors and other tales,

weird women too, and calling the spirits, a history of seances. Her weekly original fiction podcast spine tinglers is now live at my paranormal network. Lisa lives in Los Angeles and online. You can find her at Lisa Morton.com. That's M O R T O N for her last name.

Thanks for being here, Lisa. You want to tell us a little bit more about yourself? Sure, yeah. Hey, hi. Thanks for having me on. Yes, I am a Halloween expert. I love the holiday and I cannot wait to talk to Jim and Forrest and Kelly about this. All right. What is Halloween? Okay.

I'm going to ask Jim a series of questions about Halloween and we'll, Kelly will be writing out his answers there so you can see them and we'll go back through them with you after we're done asking him. And I, but after he's done answering them, I want you to grade them zero through 10, 10 being the most accurate on his knowledge of Halloween. Kelly's going to grade them on confidence. I want you to grade them 0 through 10, 10 being the most accurate on his knowledge of Halloween. Kelly's going to grade them on confidence.

I'm going to grade them on et cetera, and then we'll add those together. And if 21 through 30, slutty scientist. All right. 11 through 20, slutty nurse. 0 through 10, slutty Amish. I bet you there is a slutty Amish outfit. Yeah, there probably is one. There's a slutty Chewbacca, so they've got to have everything.

Are we ready to go? All right. Yeah, what is Halloween? I mean, yeah, I think you know what Halloween is. Look, first of all, I've got to say that I'm newish to Halloween. I've been doing it for 12 years, so that's not that new, but I didn't grow up with Halloween. And I know there'll be Australians that are listening,

we do Halloween, we do do Halloween. Not in the 70s and 80s. We fucking didn't. Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about. Halloween, it's, well, the modern day Halloween is kids knocking doors and they say trick or treat and they get given candy. No one ever says trick and I don't think the kids are ever prepared

with a trick. Yeah. Maybe there's some teenagers with toilet paper and eggs. That's as big as this trick gets. No one ever pulls out, and I don't think the kids are ever prepared with a trick. Yeah. Maybe there's some teenagers with toilet paper and eggs. That's as big as this trick gets. No one ever pulls out, is this your card? Yeah. What's behind your ear? It's always just treat, but you have to say trick or treat.

And you go door to door. I tell you what, it's not a good holiday for sexual predators who have moved into town and have to sort of stay like in their house and then kids are just knocking on the doors all the time i feel like i feel like that isn't a good good system but it's i like halloween i think it's a fun i used to think it was stupid when i watched it on american tv i used to think oh that looks a bit dumb you know what i mean but now that i didn't know that adults could get involved until i moved over here oh so you think it's good because adult i thought i thought it was just kids.

You know, as a kid, I probably would have enjoyed it, but I just thought American, stupid American thing. Yeah. But then I didn't know that adults could go to parties and dress up, and it's a fun time. I'm big on Halloween. Here's an easy one. What day is it celebrated on?

The 31st of October. Yeah, yeah. It's easy for you. I mean, people listening in other countries might not know. Yeah, yeah. Where is it celebrated besides the United States? Anywhere else? I think now it's becoming more and more popular all over the world.

I think they do do it in Australia now. They probably do it in Britain now. Morocco. I think on a large level, Canada, obviously, North America. I bet you the Mexicans go crazy for it. They do all that Day of the Dead shit that they're into. That's not on Halloween, though. I know, but they still like it. When is that?

I went to that once. I went to the graveyard. I was wearing a t-shirt. That doesn't mean a lot in LA though. I want to say it's August, the Day of the Dead. It's mid-August. I'm pretty sure it's the day after Halloween,

but I'm not positive on that. November 2nd. November 2nd. Our Mexican expert. Yeah, so I reckon the Mexicans would go Halloween-y. And I think probably South Americans. I don't think New Zealand, I don't think Scandinavian countries would do it with too much snow. Halloween is generally said to evolve from what ancient festival? Well,ans you see yeah the pagans i don't think there's any religion involved with halloween aren't the pagans a religious bunch they're the ones that are

doing something i don't know it's something to do with fall this is what i don't like right what's with the pumpkins only coming around once a year here in america it's a standard vegetable you can eat it all year round in australia we eat it as commonly as potatoes with a roast dinner we have potatoes peas pumpkin i eat pumpkin all year round it's not meant for desserts i don't know why you've all present vegetable that's why you guys eat it and why do i have to purchase it from a special patch just have it in the grocery aisle. Just a regular thing, but you're going to go to a special pumpkin patch. And then what's with the warty looking ones? No one wants that.

That's a shit pumpkin. The small ones, man? The small ones. Those are like gourds, I think. Yeah, warts all over them. I love Jim's MO of not knowing an answer and just starting to rant about something unrelated. I asked what ancient festival it came from. It would have been something to do with. I asked what ancient festival it came from.

It would have been something to do with Salem. Salem, West Charles. Where did trick-or-treat originate? Like, how did that start? Oh, golly. I don't know. I have no idea. The word Halloween is a contraction of what Christian holiday?

Hello and ween. Ween meaning the end of October. And hello. Hello. Hello, the end of October. It's from Pride Month. What is hello? What does hello mean? It's a California way to say hello.

Okay. You're doing good. What popular fall festival activity is recorded in the 14th century? Literal salter. I don't even know. I didn't see this. Is this a new question? That'd be bobbing for apples.

Okay. That's as good a guess as any. Wait, that. Okay. Is that right? That's as good a guess as any. Wait, that's right. Is that right? No, there's no other way that bobbing for apples comes from anything else. No one just invented it in their yard because they wanted to drown a kid and find it in a snow. What item is banned only during Halloween from 12 a.m.

October 31st to 12 p.m. November 1st in Hollywood, California? I'm buying razor blades. Probably. On Hollywood? Okay. Oh, just in Hollywood? That's what the question is.

Questioning in what is banned? What is banned? What item is banned during Halloween? Basically, Halloween until the next day noon. Eggs. Okay. In what two countries was guising the tradition of dressing up in costumes and going door to door for food

or coins for halloween most popular uh guising guy i reckon that sounds german or dramatic i'm gonna say germany okay like if if hitler had one of his generals was called guising you wouldn't fucking question it would you you got this himmler the other one guising i know i'm all gerbils and what in what decade did trick-or-treating as we know it today start gaining popularity in America? Also the 1920s. It would have had something probably to do with the Great Depression. I think we had that in another episode.

We've done everything. In what American state is it illegal to dress up like a priest or a nun? I'm going to say Utah. Okay. What is a Halloween hell house? That's one of those ones where you go around and you're fucking, they scare you.

You got your scary mask, but the hell house, they can actually touch you. Okay. What foods are associated with Halloween? I like it. Okay. Well,

this is the thing. It's trigger. Okay. So candy. You should have waited for your pumpkin question. Candy. Well, this is the thing. It's trick or treat. Okay, so candy corn. You should have waited for your pumpkin question. Candy corn, which are dog shit, little triangles of misery. I think they're like, well, that's a different name for that shape.

It's like a conical. Pumpkins is a big one. There'd be some corn, but not like husks of corn. Only husks. Yeah, husks of corn. You don't have a nice Halloween dinner? No, I never like husks of corn. Only husks. Yeah, husks of corn. You don't have a nice Halloween dinner? No, I never had a nice Halloween dinner. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

They really go to town on Halloween. They change it to a white-shaped one, or they make it into a shape of a pumpkin. Any savory foods besides pumpkins or anything? No. Nothing. Okay. All right, let's ask this question. We can ask some more questions. We're expert as we're going along.

Games associated with Halloween. You already mentioned one. Trick or treat. Bobbing for apples. Yeah. Don't go into number four. That's where the pedophile lives. That's one of the games.

That's a game? Yeah. Games lab lessons in them. Okay. And then something to do with, I don't know, smashing eggs into houses, toilet papering trees. Those don't sound like games at all. They sound like mischief.

Are you running around having fun? Okay. You make a game of it. I bet you I can do this tree faster than you can do that tree. I forgot to ask you this. What is All Saints Day? That's moderately priced leather jackets and tight jeans. Okay.

Lisa Morton, how did Jim do, zero through ten, to having the best on his knowledge of Halloween? If I was grading him on a bell curve compared to everyone else, he'd probably be about a seven. In terms of accuracy, we're going with about a four. All right. So I'll take a six then. Are we going to follow? Five and a half. Five and a seven. In terms of accuracy, we're going with about a four. I'll take a six then. Five and a half. That was his confidence.

I'm giving him a four on confidence. I'll give you like three on et cetera. You're a slutty nurse. You've always wanted to be one of those. Yeah. Since you're the girl of the podcast, what slutty outfits have you chosen? If any, you may never done any.

I've done a lot of them. Give us the gamut. What have you had? Like a slutty, like kind of genie-ish outfit. That's our dream of genie. She was slutty. A dominatrix. They're already slutty.

They're already slutty. A slutty nurse. You should do a demure dominatrix. I actually just posted a picture the other day Of the first time I ever did mushrooms And I was dressed as a girl gone wild So I had like a censored For Halloween

It wasn't for Halloween it was just for doing mushrooms I've done all of them Alright I've done Elton John, Freddie Mercury, Stormtrooper Never do a Stormtrooper I've got the full outfit. You can't sit down. Once you're in that fucking, I don't know how they took over the galaxy in those fucking outfits.

I was walking like the Tin Man. I couldn't bend me legs or anything. Once you're in there, you're fucking in there. Your vision, no wonder they don't shoot everybody. You can't see. You can only see straight ahead. Yeah. I've dressed my son up as Yoda.

I did Boba Fett once. Mostly my son up as yoda i did uh i did bob effect once with him mostly my son gets to choose what i have to wear me all right so lisa more and i asked him what is halloween's kids knock on door say trick or treat get candy no one ever pulls out a trick and i mean that's generally what it is but maybe you have a broader definition of yeah um yeah that's pretty good actually it has become so identified with kids and trick or treat and costuming. The only thing I might add to that is that it also is now a lot about haunted attractions and about horror movies. That's kind of the adult side of it.

Yeah, I love going to the Universal Studios and doing the maps. I didn't do it this year because of COVID, but me and Forrest, we always go. Yeah, it's fun. I love it. I can't wait for my son to get sort of old enough to take him, but I don't know if he's the right age. I still get scared.

I think about 12 is the right age for that or something. But when you were saying the – okay, with the candies, here's one for you. It all seems to be we're handing out the same candies. You go to CVS, you buy the bag of candies, the candies have here's one for you. It all seems to be that we're handing out the same candies. You go to CVS, you buy the bag of candies. The candies have a Snickers, a thing, a thing, a thing, right? And a Kit Kat. And then you hand it out and then you have your house and you're handing out candy.

Then you send your kids out to get candy. At the end of the day, you have the same amount of candy. Why don't we all just keep our own candy and wear the outfits and walk around town? Is that your question? Yeah. Why don't we do that? Any of you. Okay.

I don't know. Yeah. I don't have kids. You're running at a loss, so you don't have children. Your candy is just leaving the house never to return. Yeah. But like my son and his mates, we ran out of candy at our house, so we sent them back out into the suburb to collect candy

so we could replenish our supply to give to other children. It's just candy being handed around in a circle. Well, I think you go out because there are some houses that go the extra mile and they give out full candy bars. Oh, no. I've seen these in movies. You've got to go to number two and this person's giving out apples and this person's giving out toothbrushes.

It never happens. Everyone's got the same bag from CVS. All right, Lisa. No, you can prove me wrong. No, no, no. My brother and his fiance, they bought a house in the suburbs of Chicago and their neighborhood is known for trick-or-treating. So they have buses of children bused into their neighborhood and they're doing like

fancy, fancy candy. They don't have kids. And I'm just like, how are you going to bankroll this? We had a dentist in my neighborhood and yeah, he gave out apples and toothbrushes. They get like 1,600 kids busted into this neighborhood. It's crazy. You were nodding your head, Lisa. You've heard of this as a thing

that's happening now? Oh yeah. Here in LA, try going to like Toluca Lake on Halloween night. It'll take you an hour to go three blocks. Yeah, there's a bit near my son's school where all the kids, we all go in and there's people who've got like haunted mazes in their front yard and people are going to town there. And it looks just like the movies. It probably looks like E.T. when he went trick-or-treating and all the kids were looking by.

That's why E.T. is a Jedi. That's the truth. E.Ti okay because he notices yoda and goes yoda yoda how would he know what the fuck yoda looks like and he shows up in the other star wars plus he can levitate things with his hands then when he gets in the basket he levitates about and he wraps a head thing around him he's not fucking but he's in the movies too yeah but him, he's not fucking- But he's in the movies too. Yeah, he's in the Star Wars movies as well. Yeah, but that's his breed, right? They're not all doing that, right? Not all the aliens on his planet have those skills.

Is he a breed? Yeah, he's a race. I'm just saying that. He's race. Yeah, I'm going to go as brown, long neck, big eyes, face. Species. Yeah. So we know that it's celebrated on October 31st.

But why is that, Lisa? Why is that the day that was chosen? That kind of ties into one of the other questions about the pagan holidays based on. It was based on an old Irish Celtic holiday called Salon. And by the way, that's spelled S-A-M-H-A-I-N, which is why there are a million horror movies with characters named Sam Hayne in them. Oh!

I've never seen one. What movie is that, Sam Hayne? I'm taking your word for it, but yeah. The most popular and the best one is probably Trick or Treat from a few years ago, which was, yeah, an anthology movie. The little character of Sam Hain is the little guy with the canvas head and the orange jumpsuit. It's a really good movie.

But yeah, so Samhain was celebrated on October 31st, and it was the New Year's Day for the Celts. day for the Celts. And when the Catholic missionaries came into Ireland to convert the Celts, they actually moved the day of All Saints Day, which had been May 13th, and they moved it to November 1st with the celebration starting the night before. So they could co-opt Samhain and get the Celts under their belt. Wow. I guess that's what All Saints Day is too. I thought it was just that they were trying to get there before the snow you know what I mean

they picked a day and they went oh it gets too cold you see like a kid and he's dressed as Batman plus he has to wear a jacket that's not very Batman-esque grew up in Chicago, snowed a lot of Halloween that's why you gotta wear a warm costume yeah gotta be a the slutty outfits must be very cold have we have we got like stance on hypothermia for sluts

slutty dressed people not sluts i'm not slut shaming i'm i'm rewarding you with kudos well done so where it is celebrated United States, obviously, Jim says it's becoming more and more popular over the world. Well, you said Canada for sure. And do we know what countries it celebrates? Yeah, he he scored really well on that question because it is becoming huge over much of the world. It is even in places now like India and Russia and China. Japan has loved it for a long time. It's now like India and Russia and China. Japan has loved it for a long time. It's catching on in Australia.

It's not still so popular in most of South America, but that is because partly the seasons are flipped. They're south of the equator. It's springtime for them. They don't have the sort of harvest stuff that we get with the holiday, the pumpkins and the corn and all that. So it's still not huge in a lot of areas of the Southern Hemisphere, but it's catching on almost everywhere at this point. Why Australia then? Why is Australia? Is it just Simpsons specials?

Yeah, actually, yeah. Simpsons specials and other sitcoms and things like McDonald's, Happy Halloween meals. The retailing is making it huge in a lot of these places. When I was a kid, there was like a kid in my school who was a few years ahead of me that was basically the Nelson Muntz of the school. He was like a bully, but he wasn't even in a group. He was just bullying all by himself.

I won't say his name because he's probably an adult now trying to get on with his life. But I remember we were I was at home and he's way home, he lived down my street he just knocked on the door and he was like trick or treat, he's just dressed in his school outfit and I was just like

what are you meant to be? he's a school kid so I didn't have anything to give him so you said I asked him, but yeah. So you said, I asked him, Halloween is generally said to evolve from what ancient festival? So that was referring to the Celtic. That was that answer, basically.

I mean, is that, okay. Yeah. I don't know why I kept saying that over and over, but all right. Where did Trick or Treat originate from? Jim says, I don't know. Good answer, Jim. Yeah, I don't know about that. Yeah, you should get zero points on or off for that. Well, I imagine it was probably from the pagans. It actually is really recent. I sometimes

call Halloween one of the most misunderstood holidays, and trick-or-treat is a big part of that. People think it goes back to like the ancient druids were dancing around a fire in bearskins or something. We have no proof that anything like that happened. Trick or Treat's about 100 years old, not even quite. It dates back to about a century ago. Halloween was a night of young boys playing pranks. And these young boys would go out. Normally, the pranks and these young boys would go out normally the pranks were pretty mild they might like go over and tip over an outhouse or take the farmer's um cart apart and reassemble it on the way wait wait wait wait wait wait you said they were pretty simple yeah they're gonna take a car apart and reassemble it somewhere else knock over someone's toilet do you know how much outdoor or plumbing

fucking you have to do? That's a pain in the ass. That's not like, ah, boys will be boys. Where's this person going to shit? They can't even drive off to the fucking Home Depot. At least they didn't burn the house down. That's an extremely technical prank. When did people first start putting dog shits into bags and lighting them?

Probably about the same time. I think that's got to go way back. Yeah. So that was going on. Sorry, I cut you off. So they were doing easy pranks like reassembling cars. That actually was carts carts like wooden carts yeah these kids were insane i i have like a picture postcard that's from iowa in like 1910

or something and the whole main street of this town is filled with stuff that these kids have reassembled from other places. It's crazy. I mean, right down to bathtubs and stuff. It was what they would do was really nuts, but it was innocent until they got it. How do you reassemble a bathtub? Isn't it one fixture or is it different back there? No, but you have to put the shower head and all that stuff in there. I think it's just that.

No, no, no. This is before they would have had running water. They would have just been boiling water and pouring it into the tub. I think she's just the... No, no, no. This is before they would have had running water. They would have just been boiling water and pouring it into the tub. I think she's saying moving it. She said reassemble. You come by and you go, oh, that's a nice looking rocket ship. Was a bathtub. Yeah.

They're like, they put the bathtub on top of other stuff, which was really crazy. Oh, yeah. If you go to the UK, if there's a statue, it'll have a traffic cone on its head. Yeah. No matter how high it is, they find a way. They find a way. And there's statues fucking everywhere.

And they've all got traffic cones on their heads. So what happened was by the time you got into like the 30s, and you were right, Jim, to name the Great Depression, because that was a big part of it, the kids moved into the cities and then they got really destructive and mean and nasty. And they were setting fires and breaking light fixtures and smashing windows. And a lot of the cities were going to ban Halloween. But then a few of them got together and said, maybe we should buy these kids off. And they started working with homeowners to create this whole thing where kids would go up and down a street. It was the Great Depression.

So one house didn't have a lot of money to put on a party, but a bunch of houses did. So they would put on these parties and that became Trick or Treat. And the first time we really see Trick or Treat mentioned nationally, and I'm going to jump ahead to one of the other questions here, was 1936. Right. So the options were candy or i'll burn your house that's pretty good actually that's like yeah no it seems like a fair trade you can have your treat wow okay um the word halloween is a contraction of what christian holiday he said hello and wean wean meaning the end of October and hello ween. Like hello? Oh, yeah. Yeah, like a gay guy saying hello to you.

Oh, yeah. Is that correct? I don't think it is. It's like a gay guy saying hello to a small penis. Hello, weenie. That can't be right. It might be. Let's see. I don't think it's right. I like that answer, but no, it's not incredibly right. It is taken from an old word for saint was hollow um h-a-l-l-o-w and that meant all hollows evening or abbreviated

to all halloween there you go got it okay so then All Saints Day as you mentioned is the next day after Halloween and not moderately priced leather jackets and tight jeans right I don't even know

what that means Jim what is that joke All Saints clothing oh I forgot that was a clothing brand sorry yeah before I went to

John Vivardus I was an All Saints guy but as my career has progressed but I still have some All Saints in the wardrobe ready to go. I got some All Saints. They look pretty good.

Yeah, they're all right, man. I still wore some of them on the show, All Saints. I missed that joke. I'm sorry. You laughed, though. I know, because it was so funny. My timing was good. Yeah, yeah.

You can tell a good joke. It doesn't matter. What is All Saints Day, Lisa? All Saints Day celebrates all of the saints, and it was instituted originally by the Catholic Church and set on May 13th, which was the date of an old Roman holiday. That was how the Catholics converted people was to co-opt their existing holidays. So then when they moved up into Ireland, they moved All Saints Day to November 1st.

Do we have any holidays that are gaining momentum that are about to kick off? Like if this one kicked off in like the 1930s, what we have it today, do we have like, I don't know, is Martin Luther King Day got some type of funny thing you can do? Like dressing up? Yeah, maybe. You should dress up like Martin Luther King.

Maybe that's a bad example, But, you know, some meal. What, Labor Day? Yeah, but some meal involved. Like, you know, before the July, you eat hot dogs and hamburgers. Oh, is there one that's like... There's one that's gaining momentum. I don't think so. I think they've all kind of stayed around the same way.

Because I feel like this whole country has a day for everything. Every time I leave the house, someone goes, it's National Hot Dog Day. Yeah, but that's different. I didn't know it was National Hot Dog Day, but eat eat a hot dog but most of the other holidays were based around religions or some major historical event i don't know i feel like thanksgiving yeah i feel like the brits might when queen elizabeth dies maybe they'll do something a bit different queen day that'd be good everyone dresses like a woman and freddie mercury yeah she had to give up the booze last week did

you know that? No. Yeah, I had to do a whole routine about how she was now. I know that, yeah. The doctors told her no more booze, Lizzie. So she's got no more cocktails in her. So, you know, that's a good time to quit in your 90s, isn't it? So Halloween is the 31st of October.

All Saints Day is November 1st. And then Day of the Dead is November 2nd, correct, Louise? Yeah, Day of the Dead is November 2nd, correct, Louise? Yeah, Day of the Dead. November 2nd actually is All Souls Day in the Catholic calendar. And they added that a couple of centuries after All Saints Day because they weren't converting the Celts. They were still practicing Samhain. So they added a day that would allow everybody to celebrate their own loved ones, not just

these saints. And that was All Souls Day. And the whole idea with All Souls Day was that you would pray for your loved ones who might be trapped in purgatory. All right. So, Louise, can we give you a microphone quickly? I need to ask some questions here. So, with the Day of the Dead day, I've seen Coco, right? I've seen Coco. And I've been to the Day of the Dead at the cemetery. Hollywood for everyone.

I want to go to that. It's a fun day. It's a fun day. Yeah, it's a fun day. There's a lot of white people there, though, I feel like. Oh, there's lots of Mexicans rocking around. Yeah, they're doing it too. And they're all around the graves of their loved ones all praying and shit.

Now, what is your belief that happens on that day? And do people actually believe it's a thing? Or is it just like it's a bit of fun? I mean people actually believe it's a thing or is it just like, it's a bit of fun? I mean, I think it's a little bit of both, honestly. And I think it's almost, it depends what part of Mexico, because it's huge in Oaxaca, which is where Coco takes place. But I'm in Jalisco and over there,

I don't think anyone really makes a big deal. Very superstitious people over there. So I think- But what's the idea that you are remembering dead relatives and for that day, they get to live again. That's to offer them something, right? Yeah.

It's like you bring their favorite plate of food to, to the ofrenda, like the altar pretty much. Yeah. Coco, you saw Coco. I saw Coco. That was all the pictures.

The toy story wasn't accurate either. I thought Coco was pretty accurate from people I asked. Yeah, no, I mean, my sister went to Oaxaca a couple of years ago and it was very much, I think they depicted it perfectly. But yeah,

I don't know if they believe that people actually come visit again. Is it offensive when white people do the makeup and all that type of stuff and go to the Hollywood thing?

I mean, as long as it's not brown face, I think we're good. I think it's dead face it's not brown face, I think we're good. I think it's dead face. I guess we can't really claim that one. We can't pull that card. I don't think so. But the sugar skull makeup

and stuff like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there have definitely been talks about how that's culturally appropriate. I used to like buying those little skulls you get at the marketplace

when they do the thing. I had a girlfriend who really enjoyed those so I used to buy those but maybe that was racially insensitive i know it's not halloween but i just with the coco thing i i was dating a girl we were flying to mexico she had never been to mexico and she was like oh what should i watch here and i said oh well coco is a good movie i've heard that it's pretty accurate anyways but just you can watch it her father had

passed away like a year before that and i didn't i did not remember that there was the scene in there with the father singing to the daughter and stuff and we were literally landing in mexico and she just looked at me she had a couple drinks too so she was good and she her eyes were just watering and she goes why would you tell me to watch this and she just starts crying loudly and they're like very like and i'm like okay you don't want to tell someone to calm down that's crying but and they're like very like and I'm like okay you don't want to tell someone to calm down that's crying but you're also like alright they're making a big deal

here watch the Lion King this is what you get I made a big mistake shouldn't have watched that movie okay what is hollow we went over that what popular fall festival activities recorded in the 14th century Luttrell Salter Jim Jim said bobbing for apples.

That's correct? Yeah, he nailed it. I don't even know what all those words are before that, Luttrell Salter. I've done bobbing for apples once. It feels like a very stupid activity. Yeah, you got to go in there and you go down in the water and then you come up like you're a bear that's caught a fish. What is Luttrell Salter?

What is all that? How'd that all come about? Bobbing for apples. Yeah. The Luttrell Salter was a famous book that was kind of a guidebook on how people did things. And it has a lot of drawings in it. It's all done by hand. And one of the drawings shows a couple of people plainly trying to bite an apple.

shows a couple of people plainly trying to bite an apple. And it makes sense that that ended up becoming a Halloween game because the apples are harvested around the end of October in a lot of places. How did you get into Halloween? What is your fascination with it? Was it just a childhood thing? What was it? It was. I grew up here in L.A.

and I grew up in a time that was kind of, I think, as the golden age of trick-or-treat. Kids loved it. Back then, kids got to go out trick-or-treating without their parents. So it was really even more fun, I think, because it was like that one night a year you were free and you were dressed up and you felt kind of powerful. and you've, it was really, you felt kind of powerful. And then back about 20 years ago, I kind of fell into it by accident because I had just done a book with a publisher and they asked me if I wanted to do another book and they had done Christmas books,

but no Halloween books. So I remember that when I was a kid is my, there was a certain age that wasn't like very little, but it was little enough where I was like, all right, see you in a couple hours. And I was like, all right, we're just running around the streets with our friends. It was fun.

It feels like in the last sort of 10 years as well, there's been a lot more sort of TV specials, you know, David Pumpkin, me and my son watch. Yeah. And then like it used to be the Charlie Brown pumpkin patch, and that's all you really had. And then an episode of Roseanne. It feels like everybody's doing something now on the telly.

Is Elvira, do you like Elvira or do you think she cheapens the whole thing up? How's Elvira? I personally love Elvira. I love Elvira. As a teenage boy before porn was readily available, that woman sitting on that sofa in that low-cut dress, holy dooly, what's going on there?

And I don't even like horror films. I just watch the Elvira bit and change the channel and time it up for when Elvira might be back again. When we were doing the Jim Jefferies show, we were doing a Halloween episode and we wanted to get Elvira on the show. She cost too much money the month of October. You can't afford Elvira. You want to get Elvira in July, you'll get it for fucking 50 bucks.

But if you want to get her in the month of October, she's at a premium. She's the same as dwarfs at Christmas. You can't afford a dwarf at Christmas. They've got too much seasonal work. But Elvira, that's her month. I would think March Elvira would be really cheap. March Elvira.

I'll try to get her for Valentine's Day. No problem. She's still performing. She's still performing? She's got a new TV. She's a billboard on Ventura. She's got a new thing coming. She looks great. Yeah, she's holding it together well, Elvira.

All right. What item is banned only during Halloween from 12 a.m. October 31st to 12 p.m. November 1st in Hollywood, California? Jim said eggs. Which was actually kind of what I thought, or jack-o'-lanterns. It actually, weirdly enough, was silly string. Silly string.

Silly string is silly. It's the most limited amount of fun. You get a can and you go, I'm going to go to town on this. Done. Yeah. It's just, I used to see it on American films. I'm like, I want to get me, it was the movie Big, when he

eats the pizza and he's with his mate and he just got paid $150 and he shoots a silly string out of his mouth. And I was a kid and I thought, geez, I wouldn't want a can of that. They didn't have that in Australia. Wait, why is that silly string though? Do we know? Because people spray it. And it's a toxic shit to have on your grass and everything. I gave it to my son a couple of times.

Never again. And you buy those fucking web slingers, the Spider-Man web slingers that shoots a real web and they put a can of Silly String in it. That's a toy that lasts Christmas Day and Christmas Day only and is never played with again. Buddy Silly String, pain in the ass. Here's one for you. Well, I was asking Lisa why it's Silly String,

but I don't know if she knows. The answer is pain in the ass. It's a nuisance. Yeah, that. The answer's pain in the ass. It's a nuisance. That works for me, pain in the ass. Yeah, because eggs, if it was eggs, you could have just bought them the day before. You could buy Silly String the day before. It's not like it expires. You go, oh, is this yesterday's Silly String? Oh, you can't use that. You've got to have it fresh. Fresh in the can, ready to go, Silly String. I'll tell you, has there ever been, this sounds like razor blades

in any candy fucking ever? Yeah, not that I am aware of. That is an urban legend. It goes back to the early 60s when there was a housewife in Long Island who got mad at the older kids showing up with no costumes and she gave them little like poison ant buttons but everybody knew what they were they knew she had done it it was not an anonymous thing she wasn't putting razor blades in apples or anything else

that kind of became a big urban legend there's a thing about Halloween where it's awesome from age five to age 12. And then it gets awkward where you shouldn't be trick-or-treating. And then it gets awesome again at about 18 when you can party a bit. But there's those five years in the wilderness where you get that kid that just shows up and you're like, you're too tall, mate. You're too tall. What are you getting candy off me for? If they've got a little sibling with them, then that's okay. You know, they're doing a bit,

but would you agree with that? Maybe they're just holding onto their youth. You know, one fun thing. Oh, some simpleton dressed as Woody. I just thought about it this year. I actually,

I actually have a home now and I'm probably gonna have to get candy. I don't remember ever getting candy. I don't know if your neighborhood's a trick or treat. There's a lot of kids around there. Yeah, but like, no, but my neighborhood's not super trick or treaty and mine's like super suburbia, but still, I don't want if your neighborhood's a trick or treat. There's a lot of kids around there. Yeah, but my neighborhood's not super trick or treat-y,

and mine's like super suburbia. Still, I don't want to be the guy. I remember that guy when you're, oh, I forgot. No, you just turn your lights off. You've got to put a jack-o'-lantern out the front to go, I'm open for business. Yeah, it would be fun. That would be fun to do.

There's a guy that's two doors up from me, and fuck me, man, I love his house. He celebrates everything. Oh, that guy, yeah. Yeah, and the moment he's got all these fucking witches and stuff flying around his fucking house. Where does he store it all? Where does he keep it all?

Yeah. This guy dresses up his house for Thanksgiving and then does another fucking display for Christmas. What do you do for Thanksgiving for the house? Oh, he puts a lot of autumnumny leaves over the thing and stuff. And like there's an inflatable turkey at the front. There's shit going down. Put some pilgrims.

Oh, Arnie's going to lose his mind at Halloween. Yeah, probably. Oh, well, he's going to get used to it. And what two countries was guising the tradition of dressing up in costumes and going door to door for food or coins for Halloween most popular? Jim said Germany. That's only one country. Germany, Austria. Really one country, Germany,

Austria, really the British islands, British Isles, which could have gone that way. If we let Hitler, I'm going to take a partial credit on that one. Yeah, it was, it was an all souls day thing.

And it was something where originally started with beggars going house to house and saying, Hey, I'll say a prayer for your loved ones in purgatory. If you give me a treat. And it was something where originally it started with beggars going house to house and saying, hey, I'll say a prayer for your loved ones in purgatory if you give me a treat. And eventually the kids were like, hey, we'll just paint ourselves up as beggars and get the treats instead. Do you still dress up? Weirdly enough, I don't like to costume, but I love to do my yard up.

So I do a little mini yard. What do you got out there? Like, cause there's two types of Halloween. There's the ones that just terrifying for when you're a little kid. I remember my son would drive by and there'd be a yard filled with skeletons and be like, it's all right,

man. Now he likes it. Right. But then there'd be the one that's just like a blow up inflatable, Charlie Brown and a thing like, do you go scary or do you go a bit of fun? We're kind of in between. We, we do a graveyard. We have projected ghosts flying around. We don't, yeah,

we don't do anything bloody though. Cause we, we try to keep it cool for the kids. I have one skeleton dog that I just put out each year. Yeah, very lazy. Yeah. I put him out just to go, I've got candy, but I'm not going to put effort in. It's my candy dog. He sits out the front and then inside I got a pumpkin that sings songs.

That's not good for one outside. Yeah, but it's a bit of fun inside. All right. Why should I be giving it to the world? I enjoy it myself. I just sit indoors with the pumpkin singing the songs, laughing my ass off. We did talk about trick-or-treating.

As we know, today started getting popularity in the 30s, you said. In what American state is it illegal to dress up like a priest or nun? Jim said Utah. Alabama. Oh, God. Alabama. What's wrong with those guys? Well, if you dress up like a priest, they think you're up for it.

That's a slutty outfit in Alabama. The biggest sluts out there. You know, they had to dress up as a nun. What happened? They take you to jail? Yeah. And it actually applies to like any religious denomination. I think the law actually includes rabbis very specifically.

And of course, this is the same state. It's a misdemeanor. This is the same state where bear wrestling is a felony though. If you were a priest or a nun and you just walked out to your car on Halloween and then you get arrested and they'd be like, wait, I'm really a priest. I think you can't dress as a police officer because it's impersonating a police officer, but you can definitely do a slutty police officer.

Yeah. Because they can go, ah, that's not a real cop. I can literally see right through that outfit. Right? But, like, if you did slutty nurse, surely they'd be able to say, the nun, they'd go, surely that's not a real nun. Yeah. What if you're doing the flying nun?

You're Sally Fielding it up. I'm showing me age. Jack, do you ever watch the flying nun? Mm-mm. What do you reckon the premise of The Flying Nun is Jack oh I don't she's an air stewardess

I don't know no she's a nun she's a nun but she has one of those hats that go out the side which I've never seen in the wild but I've seen them in film

right and she I don't know she's maybe very light woman but if if the air if the air came, she'd fly.

And that was the sitcom. Sally Fields was small, though. She went from Gidget to being this beach bunny chick. Sally Fields, when we were young, was a hot chick, just so you know. And then she became the flying nun. And each episode, we'd watch the adventures of a nun who could fly. Yeah. And they say there's no original ideas.

And then she made it to Steel Magnolias. Best movie ever. Was it a good show? I used to watch it in the morning and sort of, you know. I couldn't tell you anything would happen. I just knew she'd fly. And I'd be like, there she goes. I remember an episode where she was trying to lose weight.

She was trying to gain weight so she wouldn't fly too much. And she ate loads and loads of food. And then in the end they weighed her and she weighed less. So there was something going on with that bird. It was in the CNN series, The History of the Sitcom. So it must have been good enough. I guess so. Oh, it was a popular thing.

Yeah, the flying nun. What is a Halloween hell house? Jim said hell house is a haunted house where they can actually touch you. Is that correct? No, the hell houses are the christian ones oh yeah they're scary they're really scary for the wrong reasons yeah you with those you go through and you see a series of scenes and each scene will be like oh here's somebody getting an abortion oh here's somebody who's addicted to drugs and at the last scene How do you stop yourself from wanking in there?

At the end, they take you through hell. And then when they lead you out of the hell house, they of course give you the, hey, convert now speech. Oh, I've heard, we did a Halloween episode, I remember on the Jim Jeffery Show. I remember us talking about these. These ones where they go, you'll go to hell if you do this. You'll go to hell if you do this. Yeah, I'd like to go to one of them. Do we have a success rate on those? I don't know that the success rate is huge,

but there's a lot of them all over the country, so they must be doing something right. I'm checking to see if there's any in Los Angeles. We might go. It says, well, there's a Guns N' Roses hell house. That's got to be something different. That's a bit of fun.

I'm sure they've got two actors, two male actors to make out, and they're like, gay! Like that, right? These guys are like, we're doing this for Christ. Yeah, because. Keep doing my shift a bit longer. Oh, here it is. This is hollywoodhellhouse.net.

Starts October 4th. All right. Well, we'll put that out for you guys there. I'll send links. What's the difference between, I didn't ask this, between a regular haunted attraction and extreme haunted attraction. Is that similar or is it? Extreme when they can touch you. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The extreme haunted attractions will make you sign a waiver and these things will sometimes do more than touch you. I mean, they'll stick a bag over your head, throw you around, put you in places where you have to put your hands in.

Okay, Kelly's in. Don't worry about it. She's sold. What's funny is like probably 10 years ago, I was interested in doing one of those things just to check it out. And then the more and more I read about it i was like holy like i i would probably die i saw a documentary about one it was the people who were going they were all fucked up in the head they're getting nails pulled and stuff like they get they cut your hair like oh god no wait has any at least has anyone died in any of these or not that i know of but a lot of people there's a really famous one that's now down south called McKamey Manor. And that one is so extreme that people rarely make it past like an hour of it. It's crazy. And it goes on forever. An hour? An hour. Yeah.

Seems like a long time to me. Yeah. The strange things map at Universal is like five minutes. No, not even. It's like, they're like three minutes. And sometimes when I do the Universal ones, like between the flashing lights or anything, I'm like, I'm ready. I'm like, I'm out. I'm like, I can't take that anymore after three minutes. And you can see where they're popping out too. I'm like, they're going to come out of there and they go.

I do that thing where I throw my wife ahead of me a little bit. So she gets scared first. I use her as bait. Have you been to Universal? Do you ever go to those, the Halloween Horror Nights? Lisa, have you been? I wish I could. I'm always so busy in October. I never get to do any of the

fun stuff. If you do it, you got to get the speed pass. Are you busy doing things like this podcast or are you just like do you have to do parades or anything? What's your month like? What do you have to do? Lots of podcasts, lots of interviews, lots of lectures to libraries, and some personal appearances as well. Next month, for example, I'm a guest of honor

at the Halloween Preservation Festival in Texas. Wow. To preserve Halloween. What's your favorite Halloween movie TV show? I gotta go with the original John Carpenter's Halloween. That's Michael Myers.

I haven't seen the new one. The Halloween Kills is the one that's out. Did really well. You didn't like it? I thought Wayne's World was his best movie. Me too. That was a good one what's your favorite TV show? I like The Simpsons I just watched episode 33

Three Houses of Horror and we just put them on in my house and we watched them just all the Halloween ones what do you like in the TV world? Those are pretty great, but I'm going with the Halloween episodes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buffy the Vampire

Slayer. Did they do Halloween? Did they? I never watched it, yeah, but it makes sense. I've never watched it. There's a Vampire Slayer. I think they'd do a Halloween episode. Yeah, probably. Right in the wheelhouse. I know Roseanne used to do good ones. Yeah. In the AMVM episodes.

Foods associated with Halloween. Jim said candy corn, triangles of misery, pumpkins, some corn husks, Reese's peanut butter cups, no savory foods. And he did go on a long rant about pumpkins. So if we could talk about pumpkins now. How do pumpkins get associated with Halloween? I guess the fall harvest, right? That and back in the day when they liked to play pranks on people,

they would take these pumpkins or if they were in Ireland, turnips because they didn't have pumpkins over there and they'd carve these faces in them. And you'd set that out at night with a candle inside of it and scare the crap out of somebody coming along. How small was this candle? Was this like a birthday candle inside there? That's like a small ass thing.

I don't know how big a turnip is, honestly. They're big. They're at the peak of their width. Okay. They were a little bigger, I guess, back in Ireland. But I mean, they used to even... I've heard they carved jack-o'-lanterns into apples, and I got no idea how that could have been done.

So. Yeah, you put like a little time. Irish craftsmanship, man. Yeah. How do you feel about Jim's rant about pumpkins as being, he's very, thinks we're doing it all wrong here. Pumpkin pies are shit. It's all shit.

It's not a dessert. It's a standard vegetable. There's nothing. Just eat the bloody thing. No, it is a dessert. I love pumpkin pie. It's all shit. It's not a dessert. It's a standard vegetable. Just eat the bloody thing. No, it is a dessert. They've added sugar to it. I mean, there's plenty of vegetables that they make in the desserts. I know. You can make carrot cake. I'm a big fan of carrot cake. Also, while I'm out of America, you're very good with the sweets, but here's the thing. Stop putting sugar in your bread and fucking salt on your caramel. Just leave desserts. Stop salting desserts. Salted desserts are so great, though. Oh, it seems like a new thing with sea salt.

It's like, leave it the fuck alone. It's sugar. Sea salt's not new. Yeah, but salting desserts is a new spad. But it's delicious. If one restaurant did it and that was their little trick, but everything does it and it's things that I like and it's just, you fucking put salt on it.

It's a dessert. Same with bread. Stop putting sugar into bread. Also, those are not pumpkins with the warts. Those are gourds. They're all pumpkins to me. They all look the same to me, pumpkins. The pumpkin is a delicious vegetable. Delicious if you roast a bit of pumpkin. It is a delicious vegetable.

Delicious if you roast a bit of pumpkin. It's a lovely vegetable. Why don't you just eat it as a savory meal? Do you have the answers? I like it as a savory meal. You're my kind of people. You can cook a stew right inside of one, and it's great. No, it's not a container.

Stop using them to hold things in. Jim, when I was a kid, you would dig all the seeds out and then we would get the seeds and we'd roast them and eat those. No, people still roast the seeds. Yeah, there you go. We're eating pumpkins. But holy hell, like there was people. I told you that's a prison food.

If someone in Africa was watching a whole lot of American kids, and also, what is it with giving kids fucking knives at five? It sounds like you don't like Halloween. You said you liked Halloween. I like Halloween. The pumpkin thing gives me a lot of anxiety. I just hand my kid a knife, and I'm like, good luck, mate. Try to make a face.

And also- Just hand him a knife. Yeah, those cutting knives they give you that are like a serrated edge just with two handles that you go for. And then you buy like a pumpkin cutting kit from CVS. That thing doesn't last fucking long, a flimsy handle on top of a blade. Like how many pumpkin injuries are there each year? Do you have the stats?

I don't, but there's always plenty. No one checks. No one checks. There's plenty in my household. Yeah, anyone who listens to the show, follows on the page, send us pictures of your pumpkin cuts over the years. I want to see some good pumpkin hacks. Games associated with Halloween.

Jim said trick-or-treats, a game bobbing for apples. Don't go into number four. Don't go into number four. Toilet papering trees. Toilet papering trees and Monopoly. Well, a lot of stuff, games that used to be played at Halloween had to do with telling your fortune. That was a big Scottish tradition.

The games were things like you might line up some little nuts in front of the fireplace and which one would crack first might tell you who you were going to marry or what your future was going to be like. So I would say that one modern game that's played a lot at Halloween now is the Ouija board. Alright, Ouija boards

while I'm at it, right? You're going to like grapes this episode, Jim. I've done the Ouija board. I'm not pushing it. You're pushing it. No, I'm not pushing it. Yes, no, W, what? I don't think anyone really believes it. You have a Ouija board where it moves by itself. I'm it. No, I'm not pushing it. Yes, no, W, Y. Yeah, I don't think anyone really believes it. You have a Ouija board where it moves by itself. I'm sold.

No finger Ouija board. I'm an ideas man. You go and invent it, America. Okay. I want a royalty. I came up with it. There might be one out there. Yeah, it'd have a magnet under the table.

Some guy would be dicking around. Yeah, bombing for apples. Isn't there another game? I feel like I played some other game at Halloween. I don't know. Pin the tail. No, that's not it. I don't know.

Pin the tail on the donkey? Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Yeah, you're going through all the squid games? Yeah. I've only seen episode one and two. Are you up to the honeycomb yet? No, I just told everyone I was going to. I thought that was episode two.

No. There was no game in episode two. Okay, but it's not like I say honeycomb, and you're like, that's ruined. You ruined it. I know exactly was episode two. No. There was no game in episode two. Okay, but it's not like, let's say Honeycomb, he's like, that's ruined. You ruined it. I know exactly what I'm talking about. It's no big deal.

That's the word Honeycomb. You'll be fine. Okay. Don't pick this shape though. I'll take, no, no, I won't. We got through all the questions. So this is a part of the show called Dinner Party Facts.

We're asked our expert to give us a fact or a couple of facts could be that are obscure and interesting that our audience can use to impress people about the subject of Halloween. Do you have anything for us? Yeah, I'm going to give you a beer fact about Halloween. Back in the early 80s,

the Coors Brewing Company was trying to figure out if they could claim a holiday for beer sales like their competitors had done. And they were struggling a little bit. So in 1983, they tried a campaign around a mascot called the Beer Wolf. And it didn't work. The Beer Wolf actually was not the huge success they were trying for, but they came back two years later with a new mascot who sold unbelievable amounts of beer,

and that new mascot was Elvira. Oh, she's... Oh, I remember that. Elvira was selling beer. Yeah. Turns out, boobs better than Wolf. What was that? What was that?

I'm looking at the Beer Wolf right now. Pretty cool. Gotta say, his t-shirts. Give me a look at him. I'll tell you if he's any good. Look at him. He has this coarse hat on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's like Beer-tober. Here's an idea. The wolf you'd want to drink with. Here's an idea. Why don't you just celebrate Oktoberfest? That's a way to sell some beers. Try to plug that over here. All right, well. Oktoberfest is one of the most fun times I've ever had in my life.

I was so drunk and i was just drinking stein's beer i knocked off with one of those uh waitresses that wear like the german beer carrying things about like like the cliche outfits that was fantastic there was another girl i talked to and i was so confident i was drinking beer i had to vomit i leant over vomited under the table thought she didn't see and continued on with my conversation and she walked away and i was like yeah i reckon she saw that well i uh i can't think of any better way to send off our guests than that story lisa morton has a podcast,

a weekly original fiction podcast called Spine Tinglers and is now live on My Paranormal Network. You can find her on lisamorton.com and you can see all the books that she's written there and any other links

to anything that she wants you to see. Lisa, thank you very much for being on the podcast. Thank you very much. Thank you, Lisa. Thanks a lot. If you're ever. Thanks a lot. I'm just going to wish everybody a happy Halloween, whether it's got pumpkins or not.

Happy Halloween. I'll get a pumpkin. I'm not a party pooper. I'm involved. Yeah. If you're ever at a party and someone comes up to you and goes, no one remembers the beer wolf. Go, well, I don't know about that. And then put your beer wolf mask on and walk away. Good night, Australia. The holidays aren't sleigh bells and mistletoe. They're also airports, shopping malls and dining tables crowded with people, some you're glad to see only once a year. Give yourself the ultimate gift of a stress-free holiday

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