I Don't Know About That - Horses

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

Are they called horses? Equines? We had no idea until our expert Anna Wolff (@kisstheponies) set us straight. Jim's new special "High & Dry" is now available on Netflix! Subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/IDKAT for ad free episodes, bonus episodes, and more exclusive perks! Tiers start at just $2! ADS: Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/jim. Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show!

We live in an increasingly automated world, but some things still require tedious manual work. Save time automating your shipping and returns in the ShipStation dashboard, whilst keeping costs down with the industry-leading discounts. Spend more time growing your business when you automate shipping with ShipStation. Go to ShipStation.com and use the code JIM today and sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's ShipStation.com, code JIM. Bob Denver. Austin Butler.

Dubai Jones. Which one isn't real? I'm having a go here Were you doing people named after cities? Yeah, and then I lost me way And I didn't even go John Denver I went Bob Denver The star of Gilligan's Island Yeah, I was confused right out of the gate

Who talks about Bob Denver? When you said Bob Denver I thought you were going to say John Denver Yeah, me too Isn't that awesome? I was trying to figure out the relation. No, I know. Dubai Jones was that guy who had the documentary.

If we ever do an episode on John Denver, I'm going to smash the shit out of him. Are you? I'm throwing a gauntlet out. I know everything about the Beatles. Have we done them? No. The Beatles, I'll do well.

I'll do well on John Denver. And I think I'll do... It's not good when you do well when we did Star Wars I had the right questions that were hard they were very hard yeah yeah what have you got for us Jack what have you got for us I was at the Grove yesterday there's not anyone named after a city Austin Butler no there's not a third no I was trying to Jones I mean I'm just wondering is there any other city

there's other people in Sydney Brooklyn Beckham Paris Hilton Sydney Portier Duncan Idaho what's going on over there? I was at the Grove yesterday. Madison.

Yeah. Cleveland. Wisconsin. From Family Guy. Even from the Family Guy. That's a good point. There's other Clevins. There was a football player named Cleveland Gary.

I remember. Yeah. I was at the Grove yesterday and they were handing out. Anyways. London Keys, the porn star. I'll be going home. I don't know that one so I was at the Grove yesterday wait

you want to go home why I was at the goddamn Grove yesterday and they're handing out free cokes that were League of Legends

oh wait this segment's later can you put these these didn't go in the freezer these just went in the fridge didn't they Jake

but we were I didn't want them to freeze over for an hour it wouldn't have it wouldn't have these temperature control problems.

It would have been right to the temperature it needed. This is fucking... This is not cold enough. You didn't pay attention. You didn't follow instructions. I ignored you. You know, Jack, you know how much I like things to be really cold. I don't want this shit to explode.

This is limited edition. An hour in the freezer? It doesn't happen in an hour. Yeah, it doesn't happen in an hour. I don't know. How many times... Not even an hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about 45 minutes. Look, it doesn't happen in an hour. I don't know. How many times? Not even an hour. Total misstep on your part.

About 45 minutes. Look, anyway, the League of Legends. That would have been perfect. And if you wrapped them in cold paper towel, they would have been even better. Oh, yes. That's terrible. It's disappointing to the touch. It's 97 degrees.

Yeah, this is like 65 degrees. If this was chocolate coated, it'd be melting. This is like where I like the air condition. This is just normal Coke Zero. No, it's League of Legends themed. What's the League of Legends? It's a video game, and it has plus XP flavor. So it's like one of those funky Coke flavors.

Zero sugar. Coke creations that we tried earlier. Anytime you see Coca-Cola, you gravitate towards it, huh? They were giving it out for free. That's disgusting. I don't like that at all. It's not good. Oh, my God. It's terrible.

Yeah, it's bad. Why'd you give this to us? I thought you'd like it. But you just said it's bad. I'm trying to pinpoint what the extra flavor is. So Jack was walking along the other day wearing his Coca-Cola hat, telling the story. Tell him the story. I was wearing his Coca-Cola hat, telling the story. Tell him the story.

I was wearing my Coca-Cola hat. From the other episode. Yeah. He has a Coca-Cola hat. So I was wearing my Coca-Cola hat walking down the street and then a big Coca-Cola big ring was driving by and I salute the driver and he salutes me back. It's originally when he told this story, he told it to Forrest and Forrest said, don't ever tell that story again.

And when Jim got here, I said, tell Jim the ghost story. And Jim thought it was lovely. I thought it was light. Yeah. I think it's lovely. He saluted. He saluted. And the guy was like, look at that simple minded fool.

Yeah. He's special. He's like, all right, big guy. Gentle Jack. All right, big buddy. He looks like he's 25, but he's acting like. Gentle Jack. All right, big buddy. He looks like he's 25, but he's acting like he's eight. He told the story later. I saw a special needs kid on the side of the road.

He saluted me, so I had to salute him back. Seems like the right thing to do. He was all alone. He must be looking for his parents. He was carrying these crappy Cokes. Ultimate legal gross disgusting. Yeah, I hope no one paid to transport these. This is an environmental...

It's the plus the XP flavor. You guys are both going to chug it. There's a flavor that I can't put my finger on. It's like a really artificially cherry-ish or like... Oh, it's terrible. Yeah. It's very artificially sweet. Maybe if it had sugar in it it would be all right maybe

it was colder because it was colder it would take a life of its own really good but but at this warm no sugar temperature honestly jack i mean i know this is like a hot chick that's fucking just smeared in shit like it looks good looks good. It tastes even better. The worst part about it is that he wasn't ever planning on refrigerating it either. We were going to drink it. Yeah, you were going to drink it

how I had it last night. Straight out of his pockets. Oh, no, they were in the car for a while. They were a little warm. On the side of the can, it says, recycle me. I can't even finish it. Jeremy, I think the show's coming up. You coming up deserve a drum thing i do i do you want me to tell you what yeah i don't know yeah june 23rd you're in reno nevada reno baby silver legacy resort casino don't

they uh print matchbooks for you there oh they used to back in the day. They're very nice to me. The people at Reno are very nice. Yeah, that place is fun. They've always shown up. The staff there is great. I put on a good show for you. Do you still have anti-Jim Jefferies there? They still have a day.

That's great. They have a whole day dedicated to me. That's correct. In Reno, that's right. In Reno, they have a... I don't know if she's still the mayor, but at the time, they... Nothing wrong with the mayor, by the way. Nothing wrong with the mayor. Is she still the mayor? but at the time they... Nothing wrong with the mayor, by the way. Nothing wrong with the mayor.

If you mean it, she's the sexiest mayor of any city in America. Jack's looking it up. I'm telling you, the mayor of Reno. But it was a proclamation of... It was anti-Jim Jefferies. She's so good looking she could be the mayor of Vegas. That good. September 9th is anti-Jim Jefferies day.

September 9th. Yeah, you gotta remember. Never forget. I don't remember if she's September 9th. Yeah, you gotta remember. Never forget. I don't remember if she's still the mayor. Let me find her name. Nine, nine. Never forget.

All right, so you'll be in Reno June 23rd. June 24th. I would have liked June 9th. Yeah. Yeah, that would have been a good one.

So June 24th, you'll be... Because it's summer. You'll be in Groton Resort and Casino in Roanert Park, California. It's near Santa Rosa, just north of San Francisco, up there about an hour. All right, I'll see you.

She's still the mayor. What's her name? There's nothing wrong with her. Hillary Sheave. Hillary Sheave, that's her name all day. Hillary's a nice person. You should invite her to the show. I have nothing...

I'll email the... I have nothing but nice words to say about Hillary. She's all right, Hillary. Yeah, yeah. She's a nice person. I don't know if people know the reason that's anti-Jim Jefferies. Don't tell them.

You don't want people to know on the podcast? No. Okay. I mean, it was on the show. I told a joke about Reno. Yeah. And then the people of Reno freaked out. Like that.

And then... I mean mean it aired on television it was on your TV show it was on Comedy Central it was a few people got upset because I gave the coordinates of Reno and told Kim Jong Un and I told him that was New York or something this is where you bomb, this is where you send the nuke

this is where you send the nuke right and I gave the coordinates and people wrote to me like this thanks, now I have to watch like this. Oh, thanks. Now I have to watch out for my family. Is it not enough that I have to work at Walmart all day? Now I've got to panic about a nuclear bomb being dropped. Thanks a million.

The imagination's remarkable. And then this is the thing is, we didn't even give the real coordinates. We glad that the lawyers. The lawyers. In the end, we gave coordinates that we were out in the desert or some shit. It was like, it's where you want a nuclear bomb to drop. Like, you know. But it is funny that the lawyers said that.

I think we gave San Diego or something. Anyway. But it is funny that the lawyers came back and were like, you can't give the exact coordinates. Just put it out somewhere in the desert where probably still someone lives. Oh, yeah. There's someone in a trailer out there or something. Yeah, so we put it out in the desert. And then the people got very angry at me.

And then they did a news story on the news about what a piece of shit I am. And then the lady was like, the mayor was like this. We don't need this type of talk here in Reno. And she got the mayor. What's her name again? Hillary. Hillary. Hillary gets out there and she got the mayor. What's her name again? Hillary. Hillary gets out there and she

tells it off and then so we contact Hillary and then Hillary comes and presents to me. I have a certificate. Yeah it was framed. In like a folder like a stern folder and from the city of Reno and there is an anti Jim Jefferies day

in Reno. I don't know how people celebrate it. Yeah it's confusing how they feel about it. Do they hate you or do they love you? I'm getting on the joke. Like, is it a religious holiday for some? Do they get their time off work? So June 23rd, Reno. June 24th, Roanoke Park, California.

August 25th, we'll be in Hartford, Connecticut at the Bushnell. August 26th, Providence, Rhode Island at Veterans Memorial Auditorium. And then from September 7th on, you're in Canada and a bunch of stuff. There's a bunch of dates if you go to jimjeffries.com and check that out. I'm all over America. I'm all over it. Go see me, too. Foreshaw.net.

All my dates are on there. But specifically in Montreal, July 6th through the 8th, and then Philadelphia Punchline, July 9th. Go to those shows, please, if you're in those areas. A little shout-out to the folks in Australia who are listening, if you're a big fan of the 1% Club, which incidentally is doing really well on TV. If you like the 1% Club and you're enjoying the show and you live in the Sydney area, we've now moved filming to Sydney.

We're going to be there in August. Why don't you go on to the Channel 7 webpage page and see if you want to become a contestant and give yourself a rally on the drums? Yeah, maybe 100,000. My dad got into me for saying give him a rally on the drums. I've been saying that on all the episodes. Why? You sound stupid.

The young people don't know what you're talking about. And I'm like, I've got this term of you, Dad. You say it once or twice. It's a bit of fun, but you bloody overdo it. Please welcome our guest, Anna Wolfe. Anna Wolfe, now it's time to play... Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.

Judging a book by its cover. Anna Wolfe, that's a great name, Anna Wolfe. Thank you. I'd like to have an animal as my second name. Yeah. If only I could name myself anything I wanted, I would take that opportunity. Okay, Anna is standing in front of a plain,

I would say a cream eggshell wall. It's got one hole in there from a thumbtack or maybe a hook that maybe it had art previously on it. I'm not learning anything. Is your accent Southern? Did I hear a Southern twang in there? It is Southern. You're good.

Yeah, we had a Southern twang. So you're from the South. So are we going to talk about the Confederate flag? We are not. Oh, thank God. That's a difficult one To make jokes about So I appreciate you Not bringing that up

It's much more light hearted Absolutely Much more light Okay so It's not the other thing That happened in the south Alright I won't bring that up Okay

Do you want to hint Is it grits No I love I love grits Yeah It's one of the American things

I've taken on board with me You think we can take A whole episode on grits How many grits are there There a whole episode on grits? How many grits are there? There's so many. Even in one plate. All the grits, there's thousands of them on a plate. Oh, you mean in...

We're not talking about food at all. If you named them all. Is it about the human body? It's about an animal. Is it about wolves? That would be two on the nose. Two on the nose. Not it. Two on the nose. Probably not.

Okay, so you're from the South. What type of animal? Ones that have been used in wars. Horses. Yeah. He said he went Confederate flag, all that stuff. That's the only animal that gets used. We use dogs and pigeons.

Dolphins. We are talking about horses. Anna Wills' Passion for Horses letter to study under the progressive hoof. That was his horse impression. Sneeze in the middle. I think there's another one coming, but give it a go. Sure. Anna Wills' Passion for Horses letter to study under the progressive hoof care practitioner curriculum

and mentor with local farriers, you might want to remember that word to become one herself. She has been professionally trimming as a farrier for two years, including numerous successful hoofs, rehabilitations and corrections. I'm having problems. Uh, you can find her on Instagram at kiss the ponies. And also on Facebook,

you can visit, uh, three stacks farms where she works. And, uh, thanks for being here, Anna. Maybe you can tell us a little bit more about how you got into being with horses and a farrier.

Yeah. So horses have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I was a five-year-old planning to get my first horse. And as an adult, I seized that opportunity and did get horses and so my farrier she kind of pulled me into the farrier world she's hey i see you have an interest in this you obviously have a talented eye for this and there is a need in our industry in our area for really good talented quality farriers so divine intervention how I got here, uh, absolute blessings. And I am a hoof nerd at my core. I love helping the horses and keeping essentially the, the most important part of the

horse, uh, healthy and correct and balanced because without a hoof you have no horse because of how much they weigh their their composition i mean it's gonna say this but if you don't have a hoof just go dig the go dig the hole in the back pasture you know that that's that's the reality i feel the same way about amputees if they don't have feet, just bury them. There's no quality of life. For the horse, no. It costs too much. You can't give them like Oscar Pistorius flippers. At the back, it would be like a springy horse that could race in the Special Olympics.

The Kentucky Derby ones weren't so lucky. So we'll see. that would be cool a horse with four oscar pastoreas flippers yeah that thing would fray along bouncing all over someone who does science fiction make that happen i want to see that um sorry i'm sorry i was cutting you off there and you're in there and um my i'll tell you a little thing about horses my father claims that he this is his own words the sexiest I look is on the back of a horse that's what he tells me

he reckons when he's riding up on the back of a horse there was a chance I was going to get an acting job where I was about to go do some horse training but I didn't get the job but I was asked to do the job and and then somebody said no, you know, one of those type of things. But it was like, they were going, it was a Western-y type thing. And my character, and I got such bad posture, I didn't want to ride on the horse.

I wanted to get up, right? I was meant to be like, it was drama. I was meant to be like a cowboy, and I was going to go for horse training. And that was the thing that was most exciting the acting scared the shit out of me but the horse training i was well up for horse training i thought that'd be a bit of fun anyway it's all it's all me horse news okay well uh and i'm gonna ask jim a series of questions about horses and when he's done answering them you're gonna grade him ah the the equine good um uh when he's done answering we're gonna grade him on Ah, the equine. Good. When he's done answering,

you're going to grade him on his accuracy. Zero through 10, 10's the best. Kelly's going to grade him on confidence, and I'm going to grade him on et cetera. We'll add all those scores together. Jim, if you get 21 through 30. That's three points, man. Yeah.

11 through 20. I wasn't expecting that. Zero through 10, nay nay. Nay nay, all right. I really enjoyed that. My father used to go in small towns. He'd go, this is a unique town. Uni meaning one, equi meaning horse.

That was his big gag. First question, what is the scientific name for the domestic horse the equine these are two words uh there's a genus species the equinox the equine equinox no it's just an expensive gym it's expensive gym yeah um the the the equine equine. What is the average gestation period for a horse? Four months. Four months. What is the common term for a female horse? A filly.

Oops, sorry. Really bad form there. What is the term for a castrated male horse? A husband. Hello. Hey-o. You like that one, Anna? I've got lots of jokes like that you're going to be enjoying

the whole show how many hang on I haven't finished my that was my joke answer you know that wasn't a serious answer for a castrated horse I would say the castrated horse that would, funny, funny. I would say the castrated horse, that would be a...

Steers the cow. A stud's the one that gives him the sperm. He's the one working for sperm. I will call him a jack. What the... How many... How many bones are there in a horse's skeleton? Only one if I see him.

Oh, um... Jesus Christ. Sorry, that was... I don't know what see him. Oh, um... Jesus Christ. Sorry, that was... I don't know what that meant. That was a bit lewd. You've got to be on a list. I've seen the videos. A bit lewd.

Oh, no. Don't say anything. Um... Uh... All right. 286. How does one tell the age of a horse without their breeding records?

Um... Talk to Mr. Ed. Yeah, you just ask him? This is a whole song. Talk to Mr. A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a talking horse, so forth and so on. No, you would check the rings around the arsehole, similar to that of a tree.

What? I'm going to skip this one right now. What is the term for the act of giving birth in horses? I didn't know we could fit in. Yeah. We're never going to get through these. I think Brett Trippi just arrived. Oh, there.

Mountain biking guy. Sorry, what happened? What's the term for the act of giving birth in horses? Horse husbandry. Can horses sleep standing up? If so, how? I don't believe that horses do sleep standing up. I believe that's a cow thing.

But why would you ask the question I ask? Oh, it's ever so devilish. Because the answer wouldn't be no. Because then you would ask that question of every animal. And you've never asked it before. So the answer has to be yes, they can sleep. And if so, how? Yeah.

Leaning up against other horses. How soon after birth can a foal walk or run? Oh, they right away. They fall out. I'll say 10 seconds, 15 seconds. How does a horse breathe? They get called a foal because it's a long drop from the vagina. I like these answers.

I don't know if they're right, but how does a horse breathe? Through its mouth, man, and its nose. Mouth and nose? Mouth and nose because you go yeah okay and it has uh it has lungs similar to that of a human whoa uh and it's uh that's breathy tube yeah um what is the name of the process where horses regurgitate food from their stomach to chew it again there's a trick question oh i've done this myself yeah i'm telling you it's a trick question seconds regurgitation okay annihilation uh i'll just skip around here we'll get to all these but

i'll skip it don't have to skip around on my behalf what is a farrier oh wouldn't you like to know and as one oh a fairy i would be someone who takes care of horses and the stables and stuff like that and then trains the horses for the equestrian events. Okay. Oh, yeah, I missed this one. What is the name of the largest part of a horse's body located between the withers and the tail?

Oh, the penis. I don't even know what the withers are. The largest part would be the tail. Oh, the penis. I don't even know what the withers are. The largest part would be the torso. Yeah, has it got a specific name in horses? Oh, it's core. Core, good. I forgot this one too.

What is the term for a horse? What is the term for a horse that is not yet one year old? There's one for males and one for females. Oh, a gelding. And a gilding. Okay. Sounds good to me.

I think I am right on that before I was going to say I'm wrong. That is an answer. It's an answer, but not that question. How often should a horse's hooves be trimmed by a farrier? Oh, you're a manicurist for horses. I've changed my answer. Do you get pushed out by Korean women because they do it so well?

I'm sorry, was I? Because they're always doing the... Oh, God, that joke doesn't... I'm complimenting them. I'm not being racist. I'm saying they're good at a job. Okay, we're almost done. How often should horses be trimmed by a farrier how are you every every three months three months okay and what

material makes up a horse's hoof um uh cartilage uh fingernails fingernails fingernails um and uh what type of diet should a horse be eating to maintain hoof health? That was your last question. One Propecia a day. For the hooves? That's for the hair. Good point, first. Lots of spinach. Spinach, okay. Anna, how did Jim do on his knowledge of horses?

Zero through ten. Ten's the best. Oh, Jim, I'm sorry. You're nae-nae-ing right now. I'm all right with that. I'm all right with that. One or two or? I believe you got two or three correct.

So we can start going over them whenever you're ready. Yeah. I'm going to do the score first. So let's say you got a two on that there. And then how are you doing confidence? I'm giving him a 10. I really liked a lot. 10, 12.

Yeah, that was confident. That was. Giving him a zero on et cetera. But you still have 12. So. Yeah, man. I. Giving you a zero on et cetera, but you still have 12, so. Yeah, man. I'm all right with this. What is the scientific name for the domestic horse?

Is it the equine, Anna? It is not. It's the Equus cabalus. And the earliest known domestic horses were in the 1400s when the Spaniards brought them back over to North America. Oh, the Spaniards. They bloody get away with murder, the Spaniards. Yeah.

What do you mean? They took over the world. Oh, yeah, yeah. You mean like no one. It's always the English. Yeah. They're bloody giving horses to people. The horses were running free before the Spaniards came along.

They were. What is the average gestation period for a horse? Jim says four months. Is that correct? It is not. The average gestation is between 330 and 360 days. Oh, yeah.

That's a long time. It's terrible. They can't race in that time. I think they wouldn't be able to do much, they've got a giant little horse on their stomach. Yeah, on the stomach. Anna, are you a fan of horse racing, or do you not like the horse racing?

I watch it. There are things that I disagree with, but, you know, the show will go on. But don't, is there pros and cons? Like, don't horses enjoy running? Don't they race in the wild? Don't they get a better life than most horses? Because I always feel like everyone just goes, they lose a race, they break a leg, they get shot.

That's the narrative. Now, I live with a vegan woman who, if I watch horse racing, she'll tell my wife who's also vegan. And so... I mean, well, you're not wrong. So this past year in the Kentucky Derby, there was a broken leg and the horse was put down, not shot. But you're not wrong there.

I just clubbed to death with a bat. Because to rehabilitate that is extremely expensive and they just don't do it. Can't they just give the horse to somebody and go oh this one races in the kentucky derby and there'll be like some lady who's like a cat lady who's already got 47 horses in her backyard but she's like fuck it i'll do it i love horses like that i mean sure there there is that there is that um but again there's a monetary aspect and then because of their confirmation and the sheer body mass um to to have that task of rehabilitating the horse you have to ask the

question is the horse going to have a good quality of life while you're doing this and the answer is usually no right so they just choose to do the main thing put the horse down right right right and that's the important but if they don't get put down, their lives are pretty schmick, right? Like people are taking real good care of them. Or are they whipped all the time to make them go faster? No, they're not whipped all the time. Now, from what I know about the horse anatomy and their growth pattern and such, a three-year-old put under that amount of stress, that's really not good for their body.

put it under that amount of stress, that's really not good for their body. A horse does not finish maturing, and their ligaments and tendons and their bone structure does not finish growing until the age of seven. Right. So for a two- and three-year-old to be racing in that magnitude

and that amount of stress on their bodies, it really just, it's not a good thing. Do they race with that age? I didn't know that. That's the age they race with? They do. Theucky derby are three-year-olds yes they are i was all for it i was living in a world where they were happy living and racing in the woods and we were just making their life better and taking knots out of their hair and now i hear that we're slave labouring, child labour horses running down.

Those children horses should be off building iPads like real child labour. They shouldn't be made to race for our entertainment. Make me a shoe, horse. You know what I wish? I wish I could have all the boring stuff I have to do on a daily basis just completely automated. Like me grocery shopping, cleaning, the other stuff I get up to.

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about horses i've ridden some but i love horses but i don't like watching them race me and my brothers used to go this place where you ride horses. I think I've told you this before. We used to go ride horses and we ride horses okay, right? I can't imagine you on a horse. I can ride a horse. Okay.

So you get them for like a few hours and you ride around. I'm a bloody, I'm country. You've got a bit of country in me, mate. So we ride them around. We ride around and then anyway,

so me and my brother, we go down to this place and they normally give you a couple of slow horses and the last few horses we've had weren't very good right and you have to sign a contract and uh and they go to you how many times have you ridden a horse and scott my brother he would i would have been about 13 he would have been about 17 yeah scott went like this, so how long, how long did we live on that property for? Oh, yeah.

And we rode every day there, that was fucking 10 years times by, 10 years times by every day, which every day times by 10 years. Like this show. 17.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, 17. So 3,000 times. Yeah, yeah, so so and then he does for his day off he goes and rides horses at this place he goes yeah but we moved here to Sydney

and now now we haven't ridden for a while I missed the horse so 10 years times by all the days of the year how many days

of the year like that right then he got on a horse it was terrible yeah and so so then they went oh you boys know how to ride

and they go there's a couple of horses we want to break in I remember one Then he got on a horse and it was terrible. Yeah, and so then they went, oh, you boys know how to ride. And they go, there's a couple of horses we want to break in. I remember one of them was called Kangaroo. That's what I remember. And this thing was jumping and bucking around. All right, boys. And they sort of held it when we steadied on and we got on the thing. And then these things just fucking shot over the hill.

We had a hell of a time with these two horses. Yeah. All right, what is the common term for a female horse? Did you say filly? That's where you got one of me points. You are correct. A young horse is a filly. A breeding age horse or an older female horse

is a mare. Then those female horses who their only job is to have more babies uh that's a broodmare so all right i'm gonna say me because i my dad refers to girls as fillies he goes what were the fillies like at the party now that i know that they're underage i'm gonna start i'm at the age now i'm like go to the nightclub it's packed with mares yeah broodmares yeah broodmares they're just there for reproducting am i right boys um what what is the term for a castrated male horse uh jim said jack her husband was my first answer and we all laughed it is a gelding you you have it further down it is a gelding yeah

you said gelding later and i was like that's just in your brain as a horse. Yeah. I know. Obviously, I know nothing about horses, but my dad knew a lot about it. Do you know my grandfather? I didn't. He died when my dad was 14. But my grandfather never owned a car.

Just a horse? Yeah. He rode the family around on horseback and with a little cart behind him. And they went to, they went, and then dad would go, we'd go into town on the horse, me and dad,

and I'd sit on the back of the horse with dad and we'd go see a movie. And then afterwards, he'd ask if I want candy, but I didn't like candy, so I got bologna. Which in Australia is called Devon, but I changed it for the American audience.

I'd get myself some Devon. I love Gary so much. Why would you castrate a male horse, though? To keep him in line, Forrest. I've had a vasectomy. Am I a gelding? You're not a gelding. You're not a horse.

I've also cut my testicles off. I've also cut my testicles off. I've also cut my testicles off. Don't worry about it, man. You still have your testicles at home. It's just a shaft now and a bit of a kendall bottom. So why would you castrate a male horse? You do that for reproductive control. So I have three geldings myself and i have a

mayor in my pasture i don't want her to be bred so the reality is that it's easier just to castrate the males and leave the females alone yeah i think that's as in society but i um do do they does the male horse still try it on or is he libido gone? It depends on how early he was castrated. I do have one who still thinks that he can do it and he can't. So we just kind of let him go. It is what it is. How many bones are there in a horse's skeleton? Jim said 286.

286. How many do you have? 205. That's not bad. I got the right 100 and only 3 of which are in the hoof itself so it's pretty fascinating when we get down to that structure itself

I feel like they have a lot in the shoulder blade and neck yes we have 206 if I remember 2 or something like that I remember in our anatomy one she said it's always the number but it's the amount of bones but their bones are bigger how do you tell the age of a horse without their breeding records um

what did i say first you said rings around the asshole similar to that of a tree i don't think that was rings around the asshole similar to the tree i don't think that was right let's see if i got a point no point there you don't know horses like i do you actually tell the age of the horse by their teeth and by how their mouth and how the teeth are shaped at the time of viewing so a full seat they're actually going to be very short you know a very minute placed and as the horse gets older the teeth get longer and the mouth actually becomes more extended. So you would age. How long in the tooth? I don't know.

I think everyone would. I don't know. A horse walks into a bar and the barman says, why the long face? And he goes, I just had my balls cut off, didn't I? I'm really loving what's happening with you today. I like it a lot. I'm just going for it. I didn't ask this question.

It's the new theme of the podcast. I'm trying, but not like I am, but I'm better. You're doing good. What is the term for the act of giving birth in horses? Is it horse husbandry? Horse husbandry. No, it is called foaling um so that is exactly what it is when the horse gives birth they're in full twofold it's simplicity is where they say anything husbandry because i know it's sheep it's sheep husbandry

cattle it's always husbandry when you become an expert on something, is it horse husbandry? In my realm, I have not heard of horse husbandry. Okay. Because like, okay, so like when you're in Australia and if you're, you've got these kids who come to the city and they stay in the boarding school section of the school or whatever like that. And a lot of them are rich kids because they're from farms and there's no private schools so they have to come into the city for school.

Right. And they always study as their university course because they're taking farms and there's no private schools, so they have to come into the city for school, right? And they always study as their university course because they're taking over the family farm. Sheep husbandry, right? Because Australia's big on raising sheep and that's what you have to, the degree you have to get to be a farmer with sheep will help probably. And I make fun of those people whenever I hear that. As a teenager, when you find out a guy at your school is going to study

sheep husbandry, that's a good day. Can horses sleep standing up? I said, if so, how? Tim went on a long answer. No, it's a cow. Let me buy one. Ask the question, he asked, and I just kind of went on from there. I said, yes, but they lean up against each other

like two soldiers in the arm who were trying to stay awake so how do they sleep horses so they can sleep standing up it is a very light sleep and uh for us you and i discussed the standing apparatus and they actually unlock their kneecap and it's similar to a human like dropping one hip when you're relaxed and that's what they're talking about our horses can actually do that at will so they will unlock that kneecap and lower their hip and they'll just be really relaxed like their head low just kind of lightly cat nap so when they need to get some really good deep uh restful sleep they will actually lay down they'll take turns so in the mornings you know i'll see two

two of mine laying down two of them standing up and they'll take turns getting that really good probably 45 minutes to an hour of deep realm sleep and um you know they are herd animals so they do look out for each other for predators or danger or whatnot so they take turns doing that i might get in trouble saying this but i'm'm not quite sure why. And I've been thinking about it since you've said it. Now I'm like, okay, Japanese people can sleep standing up. Yeah. They can. You're just saying this because you've seen that. I've seen it.

And I didn't just see it once. I've seen it every time I go to Japan. On the train. I don't think it's Japanese people. I think it's a cultural thing. Not a, yeah. I don't know how the fuck they do it It's a skill that I wish I had But if they're hanging on to that pole

On the train They'll be sleeping and hanging on And then wake up for their stop I can't even sleep sitting up in a plane I don't know but I've seen this in Japan On two separate occasions I thought one time there was three or four of them All sleeping standing up.

All right. That's cool. Then I went back. I don't know. Will I get in trouble for saying that? I don't know. I've got to go learn that skill. I would like to be able to do it,

but I've seen it in Japan twice. I don't know about it. I'm going to have to go ask my family about that. Jack, Google Japanese people sleeping, standing up on trains. Have you ever slept... Jack, you're half Japanese, so... Okay.

I think we've lost data here. I had a question, Jack, you're half Japanese, so... Okay, anyways. I think we've lost data here. I had a question, because the sleeping thing, and I just read this, but I don't know if it's true. It says that horses only... Jack, Jim's not even paying attention. I am paying attention. They only sleep two hours. When I find something, I'll let you know.

Just get images. Yeah, yeah. That horses only sleep like two and a half hours a day. Is that true? That's right about true. They are inherently lazy animals. They don't like to do very much. So they don't use a lot of energy unless necessary.

So that is an accurate statement. Oh, wow. Yeah. Horses in the wild, they will travel between like 15 and 20 miles a day but it is a very slow you know just meandering journey so 15 to 20 miles a day that's just what a horse would just do dicking about yeah yeah and so so is it bad to keep them in any type of captivity then because we keep so many in captivity like how much land should they really have so that they don't feel imprisoned right it's definitely not natural i wouldn't say it's wrong um so and also would you like to be transported in a carriage where your ass hangs out you can't turn

around yeah yeah that sucks so in in my line of work um we have essentially taken the horse out of its natural environment and we're trying to recreate its natural environment in a domestic environment it is the the most fucked up thing i've ever seen in my life but here we are um and in captivity they will maybe get up to like five miles a day uh if they're lucky now if they're on 40 acres you have no issues but a lot of the horses that i see in my area that's not the case right right five miles a day and then so how soon after birth can a full walk or run jim said 15 seconds right away yeah they can get up as quick as they as they are able to so usually within the first hour we like to see the foals get up and move around and get their legs and what have you.

Probably by the 24-hour mark, they'll start to understand how these babies can move, and they'll start to get up and try to run. But, you know, an hour or so, they'll be able to walk poorly. It takes us a year. Humans are so dumb. Right. It takes us a year. These things are doing it in an hour, running?

Yeah, one year. It can work. Yeah, we're terrible. People are, the human baby is the worst of all the. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It can't defend for itself. It's still, like, that's why it gets the extra time in the womb, the horse.

Yeah. Like, the baby really needs a year in the womb and then she'd come out walking, but it doesn't get that. I think the idea would be that horses, there's natural predators for animals. They need to be able to run or walk quicker, but there would be predators. Natural predators for us.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. The tax man. Okay. I'm talking about lies. All right. And how does a horse breathe? Jim says through their mouth and nose. Mouthy hole. All right. And how does a horse breathe?

Jim says through their mouth and nose. Mouthy hole. They cannot breathe through their mouth. Actually, they can only breathe through their nose. What? So when you see when you're watching the Derby's and such, and they'll have like a band around their mouth, keep their mouth closed. That's so that they just continuously suck air through their nose, and they won't have

any breathing issues holding their mouth open. Yeah, I constantly talk about this. That's why horses are so good at sex. I talk about this offstage and onstage, is that we're flawed in that way, too. You shouldn't be eating and breathing out of the same hole. That's what I say. And here's just another example of an animal. And also cocaine.

Where does it go? Yeah. Does it? Because I. Did I have that in my lungs? Do you sort of get stuck up your nose and plagues up? Did I actually get it into my lungs? Bloodstream.

Yeah. It gets in the bloodstream, but I'm sniffing up. Does it ever get into my lungs? It shouldn't. You would cough. You don't want stuff in your lungs. That's not air. It's not going to be good. That's my whole point is that we're would cough you don't want stuff in your lungs that's not air it's not gonna be good that's my whole point is that we have we're breathing i don't do it anyway

breathing eating out of the same i don't even have nicotine in my system anymore i know i'm on fire this is the healthiest i'll ever look but breathing great thank you wait so is it so do horses not choke then? They do. So they cannot regurgitate. The expansion between their esophagus and their stomach closes very tightly, so food cannot come back up. What happens if they get drunk? What happens if they get drunk?

I guess they're done for. I don't know. Can a horse get drunk? Next question. I don't know. Can a horse get drunk? Next question. I don't know. Never tried. I bet you could. Probably, yeah.

Because I know dogs that have gotten drunk. People have gotten dogs drunk, which I think is very cruel. But wait, they can't regurgitate. So then, yeah, it's dangerous. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. If they take themselves to a hotel and have an overdose of pills,

that's it for them. There's nothing they can do. You're just hanging out with bad horses. Oh, yeah. Fun and fun horses. Jack Horseman. What is a term for a horse that is not yet one year old? Jim said a gelding and a gilding.

Gilding, gelding. So that would be a foal. And for the males, it's a colt and for the females or phillies a colt yeah it's an easy one could have gotten a point there that one the colts you wouldn't change your score still so that's the football team is a one-year-old horse the indianapolis colts yeah yeah they'd still run fast faster than human probably yeah but still it's a one-year-old horse it's not good for its body to be right yeah no it shouldn't be playing football yeah it would be a lot of cte cincinnati top putting a helmet on

this animal and just clubbing it with a dolphin yeah yeah well this is this so this should be the stallions stallions yeah indianapolis stallions the italian stallions well it's indianapolis yeah um what is the name of the largest part of the horses? Where are horses indigenous to? What country do they come from? That is, you go way back. So tens of millions of years ago, they were in North America. And when all of the separations of continents happened,

they ended up in Europe. So the Spaniards brought them over back to north america all right so then north america they're the indigenous to here and so so australia obviously didn't have any 200 years ago they would have been introduced then i don't know no they didn't okay there's no special australian horse yeah playing a didgeridoo uh now uh what is the name of the largest part of a horse's body located between the withers and the tail the core the core for 200 points the core uh we call it the barrel or the trunk so the withers are essentially the the tallest part of the shoulders and then you have the backbone and the butt bone

and such so the the middle part there is the barrel of the trunk can you rank your favorite types of horses in looks so you got like the white one that's covered in specks a black and white completely brown horse yeah i didn't ask you that question jim it was uh what what is the term for horse that has one color except for white markings on the face and legs and what is the term for horses color that consists one color except for white markings on the face and legs? And what is the term for a horse's color that consists of a mix of white and any other color? He's a unity horse. Unity horse. Yeah, so maybe you can answer Jim's question too on that.

What's your favorite looking horse? What horse do you go, oh, that's a good looker. And what one do you think is repulsive and ugly to you? Okay, so my ultimate dream horse is an american quarter horse and i would like a blue roan and they are a beautiful bluish gray color through and through uh they they are fantastic looking horses you can't wear that dress on them though we clash too much you can't wear that outfit on top of the blue horse it would clash too much. You can't wear that outfit on top of the blue horse that would clash too much. You've got to do something that's complimentary.

I'll pick a different outfit that looks way better, I promise. Yeah, it's a pretty horse, American. Give me a look at it. Give me a look at it. It's a blue horse, is it? I don't have the blue one there, but that's American. Oh, there you go. Oh, yeah.

Look at that one. What do you think of Clydesdales? They're idiots, aren't they? I love Clydesdales. Oh, yeah. Look at that one. What do you think of Clydesdales? They're idiots, aren't they? I love Clydesdales. They're fantastic. I definitely would have a Clydesdale in my pasture just because I do love them. I love big horses. They are very useful and they are universal to pulling carriages or they are rideables i've seen some do dressage

and things like that can they can they do jumping and stuff can they do the tricks i'm sure they could they are very heavy so i don't think they'd be very good at it but they'd sure give it a try horses are cool man they don't think they get enough credit like they uh what do you mean they don't get enough credit i don't know like they have movies about it i don't think they get enough tell me a movie i feel like they did all this work like in wars and traveling and like you know yeah they they helped us build the country before cars dragging stuff around drag stuff around we we've we've done it on the back of the horse some credit but i feel like they got shit done yeah we got shit done i'm just looking at pictures of them now.

I'm like, they're cool. Yeah. Yeah. Big fan. Horse girl over here. Yeah. What? You.

Horse girl? I thought you pointed at me. Are you a horse girl? What's horse girl? He's a horse girl. You're a hearse girl. A hearse girl? Hearse girl.

Okay. I've dieted a few horse girls in the diet. What is a horse girl? Girls that like horses. Why isn't it just people that like horses? Well, it's like there's a stereotype that the horse girl is like this girl who grew up in a rich family and is just like, also some of them are kind of, or those are horse girls that gallop on their own. The two horse girls I know grew up in a rich family.

Do you know this term, Anna, horse girl? Yeah, I was waiting for it. So a horse girl, you're correct. Now there, again again in my round there's two types of horse girls there's i like both of them you know that's the ones who grew up in the rich families they they have the the very expensive tack and saddles and things like that or uh contrary to my looks today there's the the the ranchy and the punchy horse girls. So we get down in the mud.

We get down in the mud. We work. We take care of our shit. We don't have the $60,000 saddle. However, we can go and tend to what we need to tend to. And we're handy. And we just genuinely enjoy the lifestyle. I think the second girl is a lot better because she, you know,

cleans up things. No, it's like, you know what I mean? She's not privileged. She's not privileged. I mean, privileged people are worse. She's willing to get her hands dirty. But then if you marry him and their dad dies, you get no money. So that's a downer.

Yeah. That's true. Lots to consider. Lots to consider. I'm trying to think. Amos dated a real horse girl for a while. He dated a girl who was like, that was her whole thing. The privileged one.

Yeah. Yeah. And then my friend Lisa Vanderpump is definitely a horse girl. Yeah. Ah, yeah. Lisa has two ponies in her backyard. But she has them in the stables near where I used to live. And then she has stables near your house.

My old house. And then she just goes and rides around the stables and goes back to the ponies. Are you familiar with Lisa Vanderpump, Anna? I've heard of her name. I'm not familiar with her. She's just one of the real housewives type of people. I once saw Lisa Vanderpump talk to me and she fed an apple to a pony over her shoulder and she didn't break eye contact. And she kept talking like it was nothing and the animal just wandered into her like she was snow white and then the animal just off and a swan walked by

horses are like big dogs essentially if you have a really good-minded, well-trained horse, they are big dogs. I go often, and when mine's laying down, I just go crawl on top of him and chill out for like five minutes. That's my downtime. You just lay like with your head on his belly, or you get right on top of him? I'll put his head over my shoulder, and I'll snuggle up under him, and he'll just lay there like, hey, all right, it's time we're good oh wow and do you read a book or what do

you do no i sit there and i just you just that's my that's my time out yeah bullshit you look at your phone a bit don't you you go you go through you go you caught me you go through the grab don't act like i just take it in me and the horse and the hay. And then you're like, why has Jenny been on holiday? Fuck her. And did you mention before a $60,000 saddle? Is that what I heard? Some of it. I threw out a number.

I wouldn't be surprised if I had to tear the hair. I don't know if that works. I don't do English, so I have no clue. You don't do English? You're doing great. I don't do English, so I have no clue. You don't do English? You're doing great. I ride Western. Yeah. All right.

Okay. What is a farrier? Tell us what a farrier is, Anna. So a farrier, moi, we are a specialized profession in the horse care world, and we make sure that the hooves are healthy, balanced, and that it serves the horse to the best of its abilities we make sure that it's protected if needed and we treat for any injuries or any infections that may occur so one of my favorite things to do as a barrier are the rehabilitations and the corrections you might have heard the term a foundered horse,

which is when essentially the soft tissues inside of the foot are compromised and they basically let go of what's called the coffin bone. And the coffin bone will literally sink into the ground and you can have the bone come through the sole of the foot. That is a sinker founder horse and do the shoes actually do anything are they good or they found out that's because i can't imagine putting nails into the feet of an animal like it must help them i don't know i'm so glad you asked yeah um i actually do not uh i do not believe in nor do I provide aluminum or steel shoes. I think that they compromise

the foot more than they actually help because the nail holes will make room for infection and bacteria to grow and fester where it shouldn't. So my overall goal and objective is to keep the hoof as natural as possible and i provide other forms of protection such as composite shoes i provide boots i provide epoxy covers and yeah we can get on this topic for eons you ever dipped in wax that is coming actually it's called form a hoof and uh that is one of my newest endeavors i haven't gotten there yet you get the patent on it quick i feel like i feel like i was uh i was pulling straws there yeah i thought you were just making something up

like a coating or something if you're going to dip them in something yeah you dip them in coat yeah that'd be good i'm glad they're not doing the shoes i always thought the shoes were stupid yeah i'm with you i didn't i thought that did just everyone and also now they can redesign Dutman. Yeah, you dip them in coke. Yeah, that'd be good. I'm glad they're not doing the shoes. I always thought the shoes were stupid. Yeah, I'm with you. I didn't... I thought that just everyone... And also now they can redesign the anvil. The anvil only had that bit at the end to wrap the shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you use for good luck though? You gotta catch it. I've never liked throwing the shoes around that stick. It's not fun. Yeah. A lot of breath. Cornhole's better. I've never met anyone who enjoys it. And then also you have in your yard, you have a steel pole. Just's not fun. Yeah. Cornhole's better. I've never met anyone who enjoys it.

And then also you have in your yard, you have a steel pole to stick it out. You know what's funny? I've hurt myself on a horseshoe pole like when I was a kid. I just ran into it. You'll bloody die like a rebar sticking out of the ground. Terrible. Straight through the neck. Cornhole's way better.

Just do cornhole. How often should a horse's hose be trimmed by a farrier jim says every three months three months uh the the industry standard of the accepted time frame is about six weeks and i also disagree with that so because i have found i have found that my own um systems methods and, they do better on a four-week schedule. And that's because I can keep the foot in line with how I need it to grow better instead of just excess wall growing out and messing up my whole vision. You're not like a mechanic who says, I need to get my car serviced every 500 miles though, are you? I mean, sure, i come off that way uh however in the thick of it when you're looking at it the shorter cycles really do help especially in the spring in the summer when the growth patterns

are um they're accelerated because the grasses are coming into a change and they're more potent with nutrition. So it could throw everything off. Just a week can throw everything off from what I've experienced. And what material makes up a horse's hoof? Is it cartilage and fingernails? Jim get that right? Or not another, I don't think so.

Sort of. So it's primarily keratin um the the majority of a hoof is keratin so there are some other components in there um that are equivalent to our human cuticles which just for public sake we're gonna say keratin okay do you ever gussy up one of the hoofs by painting different things on it and putting like a little diamante thing on it like women do no i don't have time for that well i'm just saying if you want to expand this business i'm gonna i'll take the name if you don't want it gussy up hoofs um yes and what type of diet should a horse be eating to maintain hoof health is it spinach spinach it is not spinach but good good try um so horses um they their bodies are designed to forage um in the wild there's not somebody handing them a bucket

of grain twice a day you know they they are going they're picking on the grasses that suit them they're picking on the the weeds that suit them so in captivity we like to i like to keep them on a forage-based diet and what that looks like is low starch and low sugar ideally and that gets really hard in the spring and summer because when that growth pattern is happening the sugars are going crazy and you know we call it laminitis season because it's rampant and laminitis is when the interior of the hoof wall is compromised and you go into that founder um so yeah get me back on track because i'm about to go off on the tangent okay we don't do that on this show try to keep everything focused. Focus. Focus.

All right. So now is the part time of our show we do. Just before I quickly who do you reckon was the first boat to just look at a horse and think I'll get on

that thing's back? Do you reckon that was pretty soon after seeing the first horse or do you reckon that took thousands of years? I think that like none of them

were broken. The Spanish people would have already seen it. I assume the Native Americans were already riding on the back of horses by the time the Spanish got here. So I assume that it's going to be, it would have been a Native American. I don't know. Maybe Asia.

Maybe it wasn't like Genghis Khan and all that. He got the horses already from America. They come from North America. Genghis Khan didn't get the bloody first horses. What are you talking about? I don't know anything. You're being ridiculous now. I'm an idiot. I reckon it would have been a few weeks after seeing the horse.

Yeah, I don't want to be in the first day. I reckon he would have been like this. I'm going to eat that. There'd be like ten of them in this bike. I can't ride that one. Yeah, there'd be one that trusted the humans and stuck around. I reckon that one over there. I reckon I could ride him. I reckon that happened.

What do you think, Forrest? Join the conversation. I don't know. I don't think it happened. I think maybe it happened right away, and then someone got on one and got bucked, and they were like, yeah, fuck that. Then years and years and years and years passed before someone tried it again. Yeah, because there was none domesticated.

They were all like... My dad can break horses in, though, but he's doing it with a saddle. You need reins, because the first bloke would have just been holding onto the neck hair. Yeah, that would have been good. Just squeezing with your legs, trying to stay on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not staying on. Going bareback.

You're done. This is part of our show called Dinner Party Facts. We ask our expert to give us one fact, something obscure, interesting that our audience can use to impress people about the subject. What do you have for us on horses, Anna? So during the foaling process, there has to be natural protection for the mother. And what the hooves are called during the birthing process is called a full slipper and these fall slippers they are actually soft and they have little

fingerling appendages that are underneath so when they touch air for the first time the tissue starts to convert into that that hard keratin hoof that we see today so yeah yeah, it's pretty interesting to feel and touch a full slipper. It's very cool. Yeah, I never thought about that. Nature is cool, yeah. Because it couldn't be born with those hooves,

that would be. Painful. Yeah, so that just hardens, it starts hardening as soon as it touches the air. That's pretty cool. It's all soft and malleable. I wanna touch one. It's gross.

No, I thought it would be cool. No, the thing's cool to touch one. It's gross. I thought it was going to be cool. No, the thing's cool, but you touching it's gross. Okay, I'm sorry. I want to touch one of the young horses. I didn't say it like that. I said, hey, that sounds cool. I want that young horse. Anna said it's cool.

Where it hasn't even touched the air yet. All right. Anna Wolf, thank you for being here. Touch it. No, I'm doing the outro. You haven't even had the air yet. Alright. Anna Wolf, thank you for being here. Touch it. I'm doing the outro. You can find Anna Wolf on Instagram at Kiss the Ponies and then also check out the Facebook page for Three Stacks Farms

and I guess that's where you work, right? You can bring the horses there? I own the Three Stacks Farms LLC. That's what i run my ferry business under and it's in cheneyville louisiana correct am i saying that right yes so if you have a horse and you live in near cheneyville louisiana go visit anna wolf and if you're five miles away ride your horse over there the horse will appreciate miles away yeah yeah

just well make sure the hooves are good. The horse will appreciate it. This is one of those young ones with the soft. The soft hooves of you. Anna, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. I appreciate it so much. Anna, you were a blast. Thank you so much for being on the show.

Thank you. I enjoy your energy. You're very fun. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're ever at a party and someone comes up to you and goes you know a horse that gets its balls cut off is called a philly go i don't know about that and walk away well trot away young hooves all right good night