I Don't Know About That - In Vitro Fertilization

Episode Date: November 30, 2021

In this episode, the team discusses in vitro fertilization with embryologist Rachel Watterson. Follow Rachel on Instagram @RLWatterson. Go to JimJefferies.com to buy tickets to Jim's upcoming tour, The Moist Tour.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Why would they do that? You have your whole life to be old. We might find out, and I don't know about that with Jim Jefferies. That seems very specific. Yeah, it wasn't. I shouldn't have mentioned Mexicans. They're just regular young fellows with moustaches. But Luis has a big moustache at the moment.

He looks like that bloke who helps out Kimmel. Oh, yeah. Guillermo. Yeah, Guillermo. Guillermo's one of the dads in my kid's baseball league, man. I see him in the little league. Oh, sweet. Yeah, he seems like a nice fella.

I don't know. I've never spoke to him. He's not hitting anybody or anything. He seems nice enough. That's always the benchmark right there. I didn't see him hit anybody. He's a nice guy. He didn't punch anyone in the head.

I like him. At a children's baseball game. Good guy. By my measurement, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. So I'll do the quick plugs. I'm going to be in Buffalo and where else? Norfolk, Virginia.

Philadelphia. And Philly. Philly at the Met. Yeah, that one's going to be a big one. It's going to be a big one. Thanks for everyone who came out this weekend as well to come see the gigs. This week you're going to be at those clubs. This week.

I'm there. Tickets still available. Maybe, maybe not, but I assume so. But come along. Come along. We'll tell some jokes. It's a good early Christmas present or a Thanksgiving gift, if you will. Has anyone ever been given out a Thanksgiving gift?

I don't think so. Just the meal? Just food and then you watch football. And then you watch football. And you have to talk about what you're thankful for around the table. Oh, yeah. Oh, we should do that. This year is easy.

It's easy. I just go like this. Oh, baby, I'm thankful for the baby. Oh, yeah. And Hank. Both my kids. Thankful to the kids. It's easy as a parent to do that.

But then the kids get involved and they're just like this. New season of Fortnite. Legos. I mean, what else are they going to be thankful for? They don't know anything. Me. They get to hang out with me all the time. So let's go around.

I'm thankful for all of you and Luis. All of who? The listeners? Yeah, all the listeners and everyone in this room. I'm thankful for the world. Jack, what are you thankful for? That's a really lame one, but okay. Hey, it's the place we live.

Yeah, you got to be thankful for the world. I'm thankful for having employment through the pandemic. Ah, yeah. Yeah, I'm not thankful for giving it to you. I think about it all the time. You put me in a tight spot, Jack. I'm like, what's he doing right now? Why isn't he doing it for me?

Why do I need an assistant when I'm at home all day, every day for a year and a half? Someone's got to fluff the pillows. Oh, I'm so used to it. I think I'll have an assistant in retirement just to read me the TV guide. I still got a guide, you know. All right, Kelly. Oh, I'm thankful for my family.

I'm thankful for you guys. I'm thankful that I get to come here and we actually all enjoy hanging out together. That is actually very fun. That's good. Well, I don't know about you guys if you enjoy it. No, no, no. I assume. Don't hurt my feelings

we're almost over we are good company you're right oh you know what Arnie right here I got Arnie this year I'm thankful for Arnie well you lovely flatmate that lives over there you're not thankful for that no I actually do enjoy having someone live at the house

really? because we fluctuate don't we for that. Now, I actually do enjoy having someone live at the house. Really? Yeah. Because we fluctuate, don't we? No, I mean, every two weeks I yell at you. I'm glad it ended that way because we fucked. Every two or three weeks I yell at you or yell

at me. Usually I yell at you and then you yell back at me. But we work it out. It's fun. Overall, I like it. I'm surprised to find out that Forrest is grumpy at home me, but we work it out. It's fun. Overall, I like it. I'm surprised to find out the forest is grumpy at home. Yeah, that was a shock. Yeah. It's weird. I mean.

Well, the other six dwarfs moved out. The seventh? Okay. You're the seventh. It's been the big bucks. Amos Gill, this is your second Thanksgiving in America. What have you got to be thankful for? I'm thankful to everyone from Springfield, Missouri,

who came out to watch me perform last week. That was everybody, wasn't it? The whole town. Wonderful place. I'm thankful for Bass Pro World, the world's biggest gunzamer and fish shop. That's sweet. They had the Second Amendment Gallery there.

That was nice. It was like Madame Tussauds if she was in the NRA, that place. It was just statues of Teddy Roosevelt and deers. Who is Madame Tussauds or Tussauds? She's waxed as people. No, I know she is, but do you ever know what she looks like? Was she just a chick that was really, did she burn down in a candle fire incident?

That's a good question. She's half woman, half candle. Was she made of wax? Question. I thought you'd throw me in there too, Amos. I mean, you've been staying at my house. If he hasn't mentioned the shitty titty, he's not going to mention you.

Yeah, I mean, it's like you've been staying at the house. You don't really contribute much there at all, but it's been a free ride for you. What Forrest does at the moment is he talks to his dog about me so I can hear. So he goes, Arnie, he's an ungrateful guy, huh? Real bad house man, huh? Leaves coffee everywhere all over the table.

Real piece of shit, huh? It's a good bit. And then Arnie comes into Amos and goes, he's not happy with you today. It's a good bit. By the way, I've got some bad news for you, Jim. You know how you don't eat pork anymore? No, I don't.

Yeah, because- The McRib's back. Yeah. No, not the McRib. It is bad news. This is- I don't know how you'll take this, but a study's come out today in the UK,

and they say that lobster and octopus and squid are sentient beings and crab who have deep feelings and emotions and that we shouldn't be eating them anymore. Didn't we kind of know that? We shouldn't boil them alive. Well, that one's a good one. I didn't think we should have been boiling them alive before. People used to be like,

the best thing is when you can hear them scream. That's dark. It's not the scream. It's the air leaving their body. It's the steam leaving the shell. Oh, sure it is. Whatever you have to say to make yourself feel better. Or you rule out squid.

You throw them in there. I had dreams. I don't really eat squid anymore I eat calamari which I think is a lower breed of squid or is it the same I think it's just

squid cut in a way squid a lower breed a lower breed it's the dumb squid I used to I used to think it was just a sock

of squid it was like a squid part but not a squid or something no it's a squid you see the tentacles in there you have the you'll have the no the shitty american one with it i used to eat baby baby

octopus salads that was a real fucking oh no that was a real genocide that was i'd have about 15 of them on the plate on a bed of lettuce a healthy meal here's the thing though we had suzanne samard on talking about trees and and she's written a whole book that i read where trees definitely are communicating with each other they help each other they'll if one tree is sick it'll they'll provide them with nutrients or food so like so anything that you eat is communicating is alive there's an argument that it has some sort of what we would call feelings or something like that if you're anthropomorphizing so you're kind of fucked if you just don't eat anything cardboard well that came from a tree i don't think the squids and the lobsters are treated as bad as the pork the the pigs aren't treated well they're locked in little tiny spaces and you don't think they're treated have you ever

seen how they if i had if i had a pig who was just wandering around a film. Yeah, but a lobster tank, yeah, that's not good. They put rubber bands on their claws. Alright, which brings us to Luis. What have you got to be thankful for? By the way, Marie Toussade was a French artist known for her wax sculptures. Is it Toussade, not Toussode? Whatever, I don't know.

I say Toussades. Toussades. I say Toussades. I'm thankful for not getting fired last week despite all the technical problems well it was still today

this job is all I have so yeah but what okay the fucking thing's broken again that was a good one

you got me I know acting I thought you were having a stroke I thought you were having a stroke I thought you were having a stroke too he's like podcast cancelled and I'm thankful

we're closer now aren't we are close are you guys yeah he laughed at the video he made I'm gonna kill him

by throwing a match at his car okay Jack what do you got for us comment world it's comment world reading comments Okay, Jack, what do you got for us? Comment world, it's comment world Reading comments off the internet In comment world Opinionated fucks, well, we don't give a shit

So fuck them in the ass and let's be done with it It's comment world Now, right now, there's some parent in a car with their kids going, Oh, it's all right, they can listen to this, and fuck them in the ass. Well, blame Michael Miller. That's an old song, right? That's an old one. No one's made any new songs.

I know when there's comment, well, Jack hasn't put any effort in, because this is the easiest of your jobs, right? That's not true. I do a lot of organization for this one. And this one hurts his feelings the most, because he's got to read all the comments. Oh, yeah, that's true. This one is the hardest for his mental health. I shield one hurts his feelings the most. Because he's got to read all the comments. That's true. This one is the hardest for his mental health.

I shield all of you from the pain. That's true. What have you got for us, Jack? Some people started calling the episode where we didn't have a guest the Seinfeld episode, because it was the episode about nothing. I like it. We should do an episode on Seinfeld.

Get Larry David. The impersonations have gone viral. Yeah. Oh, you know what? Amos was playing the clip from the Mike Moy show, and it was the impressions. And I heard Jax, and I was like, man, Jax was really good. Yeah, Jax Seinfeld was really good.

Both of them. And there was a Martian in there, too. I remember the Martian. Because I saw you do an impersonation, but when I just heard it, I was like, very good. Yeah, I, and there was a Martian in there too. I remember the Martian. You were really, because I saw you doing it in person, but when I just heard it, I was like, very good. Yeah, I thought it was cool. I'm on Australian radio now. Yeah, that's pretty sweet.

You've hit the small time. Oh, you're the Marvin the Martian fellow. Oh, God, now Mick's listening to this. I just caught this one. Love you, Mick. Well, Jack was in that interview more than me, and I was actually in it. They cut me out of it completely.

We tried to do the interview, but for fucking this cunt, Well, Jack was in that interview more than me and I was actually in it. They cut me out of it completely. Because you're a disaster. We tried to do the interview, but for fucking this cunt, just defamation after defamation. He told some story where he allegedly I said something bad. I won't repeat it. Yeah, don't repeat that stuff. Yeah, don't repeat it. And I'm like, what are you trying to do?

You're trying to fucking get me. I don't fucking know. I'm just trying to butt into the conversation. No, he got me stoned before the interview. What's that got to do with it? Well, because then I just started shooting for anything I could, like anything that came to my brain I would say, and then we got off air and you're like,

what the fuck do you always have to go dark for? He did some cancelable statements. I did not. A couple of alpha males arguing. Just quickly, I told a story about when he introduced himself to my girlfriend. Don't repeat it. Listen, guys, you're both stars.

Don't worry about it. I'll tell you what you did. I didn't do anything to his girlfriend. The story's a lot lighter than that. Alright, next one. What's the comment? Did someone comment? No. There was a comment. I don't know how we got into there

uh but someone added that because our discussion about hollandaise they said if you add tarragon to hollandaise it becomes bernays oh i think bernays is uh was made with a cheese too we always fight during the hollandaise i'm pretty sure bernays is made with a cheese but I'm not sure I'm looking it up I should have said that when Aphrodis was arguing I know he was so pissed

fuck I'm a fucking week late on we always fight during the hollandaise oh god that would have gotten a good laugh

I guess they're right just say it for Thanksgiving Bearnaise yeah it's a child considered the child of the mother hollandaise sauce it's disgusting I don't like any of that uh uh a child considered the child of the mother hollandaise sauce

it's disgusting someone left a comment saying Jim absolutely killed in Omaha tonight my wife and I were dying laughing thanks for popping by our crappy Midwest city hope the people treated you kindly it's alright Omaha man

it's clean I'll tell you what. That's all you had. It's clean. Yeah, no, because I go to a lot of places that aren't fucking clean, man. It's very nice. It's well put together. It's pretty.

There's no one on the fucking street, man. It's empty. But I've got to give it up for winter in cold towns. Keeps the homeless out, doesn't it? Really? I don't know. The snow really keeps the place nice, doesn't it? Really? The snow really keeps the place nice, doesn't it? Oh my God.

That's very sympathetic of you. I'm not co-signing this statement. The statements of Jim Jefferies do not reflect the members of the IDK podcast. Yeah, we need to put Warner Brothers warning up at the front. Well, I've said something similar, but not in a mean, heartless way like that. What I've said is the reason there's a problem, a homeless problem in Los Angeles and not Omaha is because the weather's better and people. But you just said it like. So you're saying Omaha's not nice?

No, I'm saying that you were like, yeah, fuck the homeless. That's basically what you just said. I just was walking on the street, not tripping over people. No one's bothering me. What have you tripped over anyone? Homeless all the time. I never look where I'm going. They're everywhere.

He's always texting and walking, Jim. Get the fuck out of here. Go to Omaha. I'm not paying attention. I always trip over because I'm wanking. Well, that's a different issue. You look up when you wank? No, I look down at the homeless, but I can't see my feet

because my dick's so big. And I walk like in a straight line you didn't say you're thankful for your big dick i'm not it's a hindrance trouble i get lightheaded and fall over on homeless people well uh speaking of jerking off uh my boss walked in while jim was talking about smurfette and forrest was talking about hollandaise sauce at the same time he looked at me and said what the fuck are you listening to that was a hard one to explain yeah well it's not that hard to explain a couple of blokes talking about sauce and smurfette so now why the fuck are you spying on me cunt so now i have all the

cartoon characters that people wrote in and said that they find the most attractive. Good, good, good. This is what I wanted. And I'll tell you if they're any good. First one is. My writing will be fuckable, unfuckable. Okay. A lot of people put pictures in the Facebook group and a lot of people also didn't follow the rules. They were doing hot adult cartoon people.

They're like, here's fucking this person from a porn. No, no, they all look good in porn. What do you mean by adult? Oh, you mean like- Like I said, Archer, Sterling Archer is the hottest kid. I thought you wanted like hot young ones like Madeline. Yeah, yeah. Illegal ones.

We just want the illegal ones. Make it weird. Yeah, yeah. Amos comes in with one of the Rugrats. Tommy Pickles. All of the Rugrats. Phil and Lil, same time. He had a threrats. Phil and Lil, same time.

He had a threesome with Phil and Lil. I don't co-sign on what Kelly said. It's what Amos did. I'm just saying what he did. Yeah, Amos did it. All right, give us some people. First one is for Aeon Flux, which may fall in the anime category. Yeah, I think that's anime, even though she was hot.

I don't know. I want your Hanna-Barbera, your Looney Tunes. We got Anne Magrock from The Flintstones. Who's Anne Magrock? Is that the boss's wife? I think it's Anne Margaret is an actress or whatever, and she came and did a guest role on The Flintstones as Anne Magrock. Anne Margaret in a day.

She was a good sort. You see her dancing with Elvis. He had an affair with her. Nothing wrong with her. Oh, yeah, Anne Magrock. Anne Magrock's pretty good. wrong with her. Oh, yeah. And Magrock. Yeah, Magrock's pretty good. There you go. Oh, yeah.

She was the boss's secretary that used to cause a bit of trouble. I want to think about who's hot that reminds me of that. Jem in the holograms. Oh, yeah.

Jem. Jem's a good one. That was a group of hot girls. Mm-hmm. Joycey and all the pussycats. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yep.

You got to get it so we can shoot it up on the TV. I would orgy with Joycey and the pussycats oh yeah yep you gotta get it so we can shoot it up on the TV I would orgy with Josie and the pussycats all day we got April O'Neil from the Ninja Turtles yeah but she always

with the yellow outfit and all that type of stuff they don't have different outfits in cartoons yeah cartoons always wear the same thing I know

but that's not a very sexy outfit Marge in the blue dress I mean the green dress yeah but at least you can hitch that up and have your way. Not like you'd force yourself, but you would just have sex with her if she was into it, right?

But the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle one, you've got to zip it down to the bottom. I've got to take my boots off now. You lose interest by the time she gets ready. We have The Ant in Big Hero 6. I can't remember that one let me just have fun searching these oh the ant I was thinking of a bug

did anyone say the Tasmanian tiger in the movie extinct not yet but we should add it to the list that's you? that's me oh that's the ant in Big Hero 6 I actually thought you were talking about an animal oh I thought you were talking about an ant aunt in Big Hero 6

that's what I did too yeah. Yeah, she's okay. And then we got Betty Boop, but they misspelled it and did Betty Boo. Why would anyone want that big, round-headed slag? She's walking along. Get some big-headed slag. Get some color into your skin, love. The thing about the cartoons, though,

is that they all look good, though. She's just Felix with tits. They all look good though, because they're all kind of like filtered. They're almost, they have to like filter. So it's like, there's not like, try and find an ugly cartoon character.

There's not that many. We might find, I think there's someone here. Okay. You wouldn't give Fred Flintstone a go. He's not bad. He's handsome. He's had sex with Gilbert Gottfried.

He would have sex with him. He's got great skin. What about the parrot from The Lion King? He must be run up here anyway. No, not animals. I don't have sex with animals. No, the parrot. The parrot's Gilbert Gottfried.

I thought you said the parrot. No, that's in Aladdin. That's Aladdin. Gilbert Gottfried, the parrot in Aladdin. The parrot in there. You wouldn't- Iago. You wouldn't fuck the parrot in The Lion King.

That's gross. We got Carmen Sandiego seems too easy we got Dandy from Scooby Doo basic Daphne Darkwing Duck that's pretty good Darkwing Duck

I don't find ducks sexually attractive I feel like I don't want to say anything but I feel like she'd feel like Felma. You like duck face? I feel like Felma, I don't want to say anything, but I feel like she'd have a lot of political views, if you know what I mean. And she probably wouldn't like Dave Chappelle's special. That's all I'm saying about Felma. You think she'd have purple hair now?

A little nose ring. Hey, are you describing me right now? Oh, shit. I used to have purple hair, got the nose ring. And Kelly didn't like the special strong political you're wearing my peripheral vision there fucking asshole someone said i would do gumby yeah he's stretching no flexible is that impossible isn't she she's coming up i'm in alphabetical order wherever you have to g yeah this is a short there's only

so much time in this podcast keep going I'm loving this I'll rapid fire we got Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy someone said Jack is my favorite character thank you Jack and the Beanstalk do you ever do that do you ever sex like that I wouldn't mind if you wrapped your hands around my Beanstalk

I haven't but maybe I should try you should get over that you gotta wait for her to text back first we got Team Rocket's Jessie from Pokemon yeah that's pretty good Judy Jetson which you guys talked about but people wanted to clarify that she's 11 years old

yeah yeah I said that no we like Jane the wife ding ding ding ding ding ding Kim Possible there you go don't know who that is We like Jane the wife. We change her. Jane the wife. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Kim Possible. There you go. Don't know who that is.

Okay. We got Cora and her girlfriend. I think that's an Avatar thing. Nah. We'll move on. She's like a spy or something. That's the whole thing of the podcast, right? I say I don't know about something and then you tell me. That's Kim Possible.

Ah, fuck Kim Possible with her hair's too big. You don't like the big hair? We're doing a lot of heavy lifting for a shit personality. Kim Possible. We got Lana Kane from Archer. Yeah, but that's an adult. Lola Bunny, basic. Yeah, but there's a cosplay.

I don't know. She's young. Oh, hello, nurse from the Animaniacs. Yep. Yep. I called you a snorkel, man. Snorkel? Not snorkels.

The ones with the snorkels. Snorks. Snork, yeah. I've always liked Revlin Lovejoy's wife in The Simpsons. I think she's the hottest in that show. Really? Yeah. We've got some Simpsons coming up.

She's very wholesome. Yeah, but it's because you feel like- I like the twins. You look like you could- Because the reverend's not giving it to her properly. Yeah, you're like you want to corrupt someone. Yeah, that feels very on brand for you. Oh my God, the children.

You like that? Yeah, I like that. We that feels very on brand for you. Oh my God, the children. You like that? Yeah, I like that. We got Robin Hood from the Disney movie. Robin Hood. Yeah, he's hot. The Fox. Yeah. And then we have Rogue from the X-Men animated series,

but that's an adult. Now we're on to the Simpsons. These are all adults, but I think we'll count it. So this person specified for female, Marge Simpson, and then male, Ned Flanders. But in the theater episode. Ned Flanders looks a little like Luis, really. Just because of the mustache.

Nah, you give it to the- But isn't he surprisingly built when he takes his clothes off? He's always jacked in. How does Homer Simpson sound in Mexico? Do they dub the voiceover, or do you guys just watch it normal? Yeah, I don't know if I could do the impression. Oh.

No, that wasn't it. Oh, it's a sweet, it's a sweet, it's a sweet, it's a sweet, it's a sweet, it's a sweet. Oh, Bart. It's kind of like that. Oh, Bart. Ay caramba. Yeah, they just say, oh, man. Ay, ay, ay.

Yeah, and does the bumblebee man, does he sound like really eloquent? Do they cut him out? Very articulate. I once was watching Telenuvo or whatever. I was just trying to think. Telemundo? Telemundo. And fuck me if there wasn't a guy in a bumblebee outfit.

Was he a person before The Simpsons? Yeah. Or are they taking the piss? guy in a bumblebee outfit. Was he a person before The Simpsons? Yeah. Or are they taking the piss? Yeah, the bumblebee man. I mean, there's very similar stuff in general because there's like a late night talk show. It's a guy named Platanito, which means little banana. He's dressed as a clown.

That's like a show that's still going on today. It's fucking amazing though. All right, here's our last comment. They said, I'd do wilma but i'd be thinking about betty why don't you just do betty and just think about her but also betty you remember it's rosie o'donnell in the movies oh really oh yeah that's true i do remember i once had a flight and it was me rosie o'donnell and jeremy Piven sitting next to each other. True. Rag tag bunch right there. Yeah, true.

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and upgrade your wardrobe with their world-famous shirts, joggers, and their all-new outerwear. That's cutsclothing.com. All right, please welcome our guest, Rachel Watterson. And now it's time to play. Yes, no. Yes, no. Yes, no. Alright, please welcome our guest, Rachel Watterson. And now it's time to play Yes No. Yes No. Yes No.

Yes No. Judging a book by its cover. Okay, ask Rachel some yes or no questions. How many is she here to talk about? Where you can guess. Alright, Rachel, your room's got books. I know that much. So you've read.

So you're not illiterate. So that means you've got Apple iPods. So you support the Apple. So your specialty isn't Samsung. So I can rule that out. That's correct. Yeah, yeah. See, I know things.

Good promise there. You've got a tapestry on your wall that has four stars on it. Was that a review of something? Who knows? That's the Chicago flag. Okay. Do you work in education, Rachel? I do not.

You do not work in education. Do you work with the human body? Yes. Okay. Are you a doctor? I am not. We also have known each other since high school. Oh, are you a volleyball player?

I mean, if we count seventh grade, then yes, but no. That's all he's got for you, Kelly. Volleyball? Kelly's a one-note person. Is your specialty diet Dr. Pepper tattoos and cigarettes? I don't smoke cigarettes. To be fair, I drank a diet Dr. Pepper tattoos and cigarettes? I don't smoke cigarettes. To be fair, I drank a diet Dr. Pepper today, but no. Okay.

And you've known her since high school. How is that? That must have been fun. I'll give you a hint. Think of women. Are you a woman? Yeah. All right.

Your specialty is women. I was going to say, I was going to say also something that you've recently experienced, but you didn't experience it this way. Oh, your, your, your,

your C-sections is your specialty C-sections. Oh, why are you thinking about childbirth? Hyper specific. I just had childbirth. It was natural. You're on the right path. So is your specialty childbirth. It's like hyper specific. I just had childbirth it was natural. You're on the right path. So is your specialty childbirth?

Is it adoption? Not really, no. You might know this. If you knew anything else about me. It's fertility. You're a fertility person because Kelly sold eggs. You cannot sell eggs. That's not how you phrase it, but okay. You donate them

there's an alleyway there's a bag of money in vitro fertilization alright I know my brother just went through this my brother and his wife they should be having

they should be having the baby today or something like about a week away so they should be having it today so IVF as we'll probably refer to it a lot through the questions. I think IVF is a good name for a porn star.

Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Ivy fucks. Or drag queen, IVF. Let me introduce Rachel here. Rachel Watterson has a Bachelor of Science in Animal Sciences, a Master of Science in Biomedical Sciences, with a concentration in clinical

embryology and andrology uh she has been an embryologist for 12 years working in the united states australia and currently in germany and she says her greatest accomplishment making her nephew what does that mean my brother and sister-in-law went through IVF to create their firstborn child. So I made him. That's very cool. Did they go through IVF? I hear there might be a second one if you said firstborn. Well, actually, they got pregnant naturally on their own during the pandemic. So, you know, one of those situations.

Did they? No. If they just kept on fucking, it would have been fine. Exactly. You were always over the house stopping them from doing it. Or I was like, hey, guys, let me help, please. Knock on the door. Adam, can I have your sperm?

And how did you get into this field? What led you here? So when we went to high school, we had the option to take a genetics class instead of physics. And I took that class. We learned a lot about embryology. Someone came in who was an embryologist to speak to our class. And the day she left, I said, that's what I want to do. All right, great. Yeah. Okay. So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to ask Jim a bunch of questions about in vitro fertilization.

We're going to see. That's good. I didn't know what it meant. So now I've answered the first question. That is the first question. What is IVF? Yeah, that's true I didn't know what it meant so now I've answered the first question that is the first question what is IVF yeah that's true I should have just said IVF and then when we're all done asking those questions you're going to grade Jim 0 through 10, 10 being the best

on his accuracy of these questions Kelly's going to grade him on confidence I'm going to grade him on etc if the total score is 21 through 30 IVF 11 through 20 ICP you know what that is? No. Insane clown posse. 0 through 10 IBS. You know what that is?

Irritable bowel syndrome. Yeah, yeah. That's the worst one. I was going to make the clown posse the worst one, but I felt like... I got along with the clown posse. They were alright. I interviewed them. What are their names? Bill and Ted. Shaggy to dope. Shaggy to dope. Shaggy to dope. What am I saying wrong? You say Shaggy to dope. Shaggy to dope.aggy to dope Shaggy to dope What am I saying wrong?

You say shaggy to dope Shaggy to dope That was one of my favorite podcast episodes ever You're like Shaggy to dope Yes, shaggy to dope What the I still can't hear it

I'm saying shaggy to dope And then the other guy's name The other guy's name Jay But Violent Jay Violent Jay We weren't allowed to call but Violent Jay. Violent Jay. We weren't allowed to call him Violent Jay though.

Do you remember? Yeah, he just goes by Jay. He was going through a custody hearing and he goes, that's what he said. He goes, just call us Jay on the show.

It's like, everyone knows your name's Violent Jay. It's Jay and show you to go. Do you sell their makeup, Kelly? Yeah. It's in my car. I know.

Okay, Jim, what is IVF? In vitro fertilization nice that was really helpful you forgot i thought you were going to close man archaeopteryx but what is that okay what it is is when couples can't have babies uh naturally and they need a little bit of help what they do is the man will go come in a cup right and then the woman will get an egg removed or the semen will be removed by a needle which if the man's already had a vasectomy or something like that then the woman's egg will be taken out now it could be the in vitro might have to happen

because there's a low sperm count or the woman's not producing quality eggs or not enough eggs and so what they do is they get the semen, they inject it into the egg in the same way that a sperm would swim through. And then they hope for the best. Now, the reason that with in vitro, you get a lot of triplets and twins and stuff like that is because they put more sperm through there or they may at other times put a few eggs up there at once, hoping that one of them will work. And then lo and a few work my favorite part of that answer was you said sperm semen and cum different words for ejaculate he's a thesaurus this guy yeah all encompassing um when is ivf needed you kind of touched on that it's needed when a couple whether the guy hasn't had enough sperm the woman's not producing good enough eggs um and then

sometimes i'm sure like and this goes under under the not producing great eggs or not enough eggs. Sometimes if the woman's a bit older, but it's mostly just for couples that are having a few issues to having babies and have explored all their other options. Are there any risks to having a baby through IVF? I know it's not fun. I know my, I can say this, my brother and my sister- Not a son of sex? My brother and my sister-in-law just went through it. And I can say this because there was an article about them in a newspaper in Australia.

Yeah, I think there's a lot of needles and prodding and going to doctor's visits and things. And then also sometimes the egg takes and then, you know, you miscarriage and then you have to go through it all again. So I think a lot of couples, the risk is they go through a lot of ups and downs and hoping and praying and all that type of stuff. Okay.

How does the process work? I think you explained that in the first one. We'll leave that as your answer. What is an embryo? An embryo is when the baby is itty bitty tiny thing. When it just starts, it meshes with the egg, the semen in the egg, it makes an embryo. Semen. Yeah. Okay. How are the eggs removed? I'm probably wrong here, but I'm going to assume it's the same vacuum they use for an abortion, but they turn it on low. I don't think that's it.

It's the same vacuum they use for liposuction. You can lose a few pounds, lose a baby. No, I assume there's some type. No, there's probably a pair of pliers. I assume there's some type. No, there's probably a pair of pliers. It would be a circular pair of barbecue tongs and a vacuum. How many eggs are usually retrieved?

I think they retrieve as many as they possibly can. Like Easter. I think it's maybe four or five eggs. Okay. I might be wrong, but this is the women only juice. I think I actually, I'm going to take that.

I'm going to say one egg at a time. I don't know. Fuck it. Four or five, seven, three. Final answer. I'll go three.

When should a couple look into IVF? When they've been raw dogging for months and with no results. Well, when I say my, I talk about this in my stand-up, my mother, my parents didn't go through IVF, but my parents couldn't have a child. And then they went and they found out my mother's womb was twisted like a figure eight and she had to have reconstructive surgery, which is a different thing. So IVF isn't always the answer, but it could be the answer.

It could be the answer. It could just be that you need to fucking change something, open a canal up a bit more. I don't know. Maybe you've got to ask some questions to the couple. Have you been putting it in the vagina? I haven't. Well, okay then.

I was hoping for mouth babies. Who is eligible for IVF? Well, you've got to be over the age of 18. I'd be pretty sure of that, although you might not be able to. Any couple with a bit of money and some spare time. And what if the woman... That's most things. Okay. Can you choose the sex of the child? I believe now you can. But I don't believe that they encourage it.

I believe in many countries it's not legal. But I do believe you can, but I don't believe that they encourage it. And I don't believe, I believe in many countries it's not legal, but I do believe you can. Okay. What is IUI and how is it different than IVF? IUI. Yeah. I'm trying to, in, up, in. In, up, in.

It's the instructions to have sex, to have baby naturally. Okay. In, up, in. Thought I the instructions to have sex, to have baby naturally. Okay. In, up, in. Thought I was to find the G spot. All right. What is the success rate of IVF? Oh, okay. Well, see, what are you saying? Like couples who it works for eventually or for each egg? Well, for one process, like they would count that. I think that most couples go through the process about two or three times. I'm going to say the success rate is about 30%. How much does it cost?

I don't know in this country, but I know, I think it's around 10 grand an egg. 10 grand for the whole process or just the egg? Each time you have a go at it. Okay. How long does the procedure take? Ooh, it's longer than sex. Well, it depends.

Yeah. I mean, that's very subjective. It's longer than sex with me. And it's shorter than an episode of The Simpsons. Okay. Is the process painful? I think the actual process of removing the eggs, the coming in the cup and all that,

I'd give yourself a couple of hours. I'd block the whole afternoon off. Simpsons movie. Yeah, Simpsons movie. Okay. Is the process painful? You sort of touched on this. I remember seeing photos of my sister-in-law

and bruises around the stomach and stuff. There's things that are definitely injected in there. And yeah i don't believe it's a fun process no at what age should women the men enjoy it i think that's good just a bit of quick peace and quiet well you wouldn't enjoy it if you i don't know if you're right because i don't know anything but you said that if they've had a vasectomy yeah that's different if you had a vasectomy they don't reverse vasectomies very much anymore. What they do is they put a needle in the nut and they pull the nut.

That doesn't sound fun. They pull the nut juice out. I don't know if that's real. Nut juice. I'm a thesaurus. Nut juice? I've never heard of that one. They pull the nut juice out,

the baby batter, the baby batter, if you will. And they pull that out into a syringe and then they nut juice the egg. Boom. You think anyone's ever said baby batter, if you will? I don't think so. Baby batter.

At what age should women consider freezing their eggs? Like if I'm not ready for kickstand. How good looking is this woman? It's women. All women. I think if you want to freeze them i think you should consider free like i i think 35 would be a good age to if you you know if you're not dating someone are the results better when you use your own egg sperm versus donor egg i would believe that they

are better because okay so so you've got like when someone's a surrogate and they carry someone else's egg and a thing like that. I never hear them going terribly wrong, but it's not like I talk to people about it. I would say that your genetic pool would match better with your egg. So I think the sperm's inconsequential. You can use any man's sperm. You can bring that to the table and put it in the woman's. It's not like the woman's body goes, but this is my husband's sperm.

No, no, no. I think any sperm can do the job. And the egg would be better if it was your own egg. Eggs are polyamorous. I believe that it might be a fine line. Actually, I'm going to say it makes no fucking difference. Fuck it. No difference.

Is that your voice for a woman's body, by the way? What? No. No. I don't your voice for a woman's body, by the way? What? No. I don't know. It wasn't the body going, it makes no difference. Put it in me. Okay, last question. How did Octomom have eight children

through IVF? I believe that she put too many eggs in her at once. I believe that she really stockpiled and put a whole heap of eggs up her at once to try to. She did it, yeah. Well, no, she got someone to do it. She literally put all of her eggs in one basket.

Let's put it that way. All of her eggs in one womb. Yeah, yeah. Jack just said chubby bunny like the marshmallow game but for eggs. All right, Rachel alright Rachel how you doing how did Jim do 0 through 10 10 being the best on his knowledge of IVF I'll be honest with you I'm really

upset that I have to give this answer but I'm gonna give him like an 8 damn she texted me she's like god damn Jim knows too much it's egg and sperm and it's a cup and a thing and a needle. Yeah, that's it. It's a tale of all the time. I could do it.

You gave me all this stuff. Get me the tongs and the vacuum. Rachel, keep in mind with your score, he also said that it comes out with a vacuum turned, the same vacuum for an abortion turned on low i'll be honest with you it was the abortion vacuum that took him down a notch he never got into 10 so that'd have been amazing it wouldn't have happened uh how do you do on confidence definitely confident i'll give him an eight on confidence as well okay um within

beat trying a little bit of that's an eight plus an eight 16 uh i'll give him an eight on confidence as well. Okay. I'm dealt with in beat trying a little bit of beat. That's an eight plus an eight, 16. I'll give you a one, et cetera. You're shaggy to dope. All right. Shaggy to dope. Yeah. I still don't get it.

Say the number two. Shaggy to dope. There you go. Shaggy to dope. When you say it quickly, it sounds like you're saying T apostrophe dope To dope To dope To dope

Shaggy to dope I'm saying that Sorry Rachel It's just him being from the northern beaches of Sydney Because they can't help but to To drop letters and words It's not just That's the area of Sydney where they can't help but to drop letters and words. It's not just the area of Sydney where we drop words. The whole country does it.

Well, it is the whole country. It's just the only place that I really have any experience, so I can't speak to the whole. Where did you stay in the northern beaches? Where did you work? Well, I was working in Maroubra, but I was living in Coogee. Oh, Coogee. They drop their fucking words all day.

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That's try.scribd.com to get 60 days off Scribd for free. So IVF, can you give us an explanation of what IVF is? Jim said in vitro fertilization, couples can have a baby naturally. This podcast really falls down when I know everything. Well, I think she'll explain it a little bit better. She won't say come in a cup. Let's cut to the chase. Do they give the man porn or is the room soundproofed? What goes on there?

How about we start with what is IVF? Yeah. Okay. Okay. You can start there. I'll work the rest of it in. So IVF, yes, correctly is in vitro fertilization. It's usually when a couple or person decides that they'd like to have a child and it's the most aggressive form of therapy that we can offer in fertility. And so that's usually what you hear of. Although IVF commonly by society is it's a, it's a broader picture than just the most aggressive form, which is actually in vitro fertilization. Okay. Um, and then, so when is IVF needed? Jim says, guy doesn't have enough sperm. Women not producing great eggs. Women's a bit older. Couples having it. Yeah. There are a lot of reasons that can cause infertility. So even if

like your thyroid hormone level is wrong for a woman, it means you might not be ovulating and you can't get pregnant on your own. So you might not need IVF for that per se, but usually it's more than one thing in conjunction together, like endometriosis or, you know, your hormones being off or male sperm count being low. So it's about, they say 40% of the time it's the woman, 40% of the time it's the man, 20% of the time it's probably both. It's the woman. 40% of the time, it's the man. 20% of the time, it's probably both.

That's good to know, actually. What does low sperm count mean? Is there a number? I know what it means. Yes, there's a number. Yeah, so you should, in your ejaculate, have about 15 million sperm per milliliter. That's so many. Wow. Yeah, yeah, milliliter. I'm sorry, just 15 million sperm per milliliter. That's so many. Wow. Yeah, yeah, milliliter.

I'm sorry, just 15 million sperm. No, no, no. Not per milliliter. No, I know milliliter. Yeah, not per milliliter. I'm feeding a baby at the moment. We're trying to get three milliliters into him every feed. I'm not a sperm.

I'm not a sperm. I know the exact measurement we're dealing with right now. I see it all the time. Yeah, definitely. But obviously, every man's ejaculate is a different volume, so that's why we have to. I tell you, me and the Nugent men, which is my real name, we produce a hell of a lot of sperm.

You're probably one of those patients that I process the sample and I always feel extra sorry for the woman. Why? Why? Why? A high volume. That's like the most aggressive off-putting thing it could be. They love it. Their head kicks back like a giant pain.

No, what are you talking about? Buddy, I'm like Peter North, mate. I'm like him. Yeah. I tell you, I used to watch these people go, you seen this Peter North guy? He had big cum loads right when I was a kid. And I was like, that's nothing.

I get distance as well. I get a shit ton of distance. Several times, and I used to talk about this on stage, several times I have masturbated and then, you know, you open your mouth, oh, you're coming. And I fucking shot myself right in the mouth just from the back i have had a big watermelon come shoot my mouth more times than i can count and i can count past seven right i have my headboard my headboard always has come on any

hotel room i've been he's got coming and that's not because i've been going up against the fucking headboards because it's shot over me fucking head. I'm telling you, I'm never staying in a hotel. I think you can make a lot of money probably just based on this. That's our new Patreon tier. Jim comes hard. Jim North. I can do a June North. I can any direction you want.

The hard thing is though, if you have a high volume like that, the sample is very very diluted so you tend you can potentially have a low score that a lot of the eggs have drowned yeah maybe that's the problem um he's down to seven now are there risks to having a baby through IVF? Jim said it's not fun, needles, prodding, doctor's visits. Yeah, I mean, that part of it is all true. I mean, but that's true whether you get pregnant or you don't. So the actual risks that can be increased that studies have found are that IVF babies sometimes have a lower birth weight. But oftentimes, I think that's more related to the fact that older women tend to go through IVF babies sometimes have a lower birth weight, but oftentimes I think that's more related to the fact that older women tend to go through IVF.

And so that's already in their age category going to be an issue that they can have. Is that because all the women eat less because they gain weight quicker? Oh my God. I can't believe everyone just looked at me like, no, I didn't even make eye contact with you. I didn't think about it. I just heard Kelly and then I looked at you.

But is that the reason? No, it's not. It's usually due to premature deliveries. So the body just doesn't hold babies as well as you get older sometimes. I don't think I'm saying anything out of line. I don't think my wife, our little boy, we just had, the placenta stopped working. So we had to come out a couple of months, more than a month early.

And he's a little tiny fella. And my wife's not old. I made sure of that. Oh, but she's tiny. She is tiny. Yeah, she is tiny. Yeah, that is true. When she was pregnant, she just looked like E.T.

She just had like a little pot belly on her. I hope she doesn't listen to this. You couldn't tell from behind. Yeah, you're like, I don't think my wife would be angry about anything I'm saying. She looks like E.T. Yes, she does. She's got a big long neck on her. She's always trying to use the phone, but I won't let her.

Next week, our episode's about divorce. No, she doesn't listen to the podcast. She gets enough of me at home. My wife never listens to this. My mother-in-law listens to the fuck out of it. Hi, Becca. She was on the podcast a couple weeks ago. That's two ET references in a row. Two episodes in a row. You had speak and spell

last episode. See if you can go for three next time. Alright, I'll get it then. How does the process work exactly? I don't really. Yeah. The process is really interesting. So the woman has to go through a whole lot of diagnostic testing before they're able to get to the IVF stage to kind of figure out why they need

IVF. And traditionally couples have tried for about a year before they should be seeking infertility help. So usually there's a reason you've given it a lot of goes and it's not working. So that is all based on their cycle. So they have to come in and do blood work on certain days to check their hormone levels. The guys, Jim nailed it. They come in a cup. We check that sperm. We see if there's enough, if it looks funny, if there's anything odd with it or out of textbook norm. And then within the next month or so, usually the women start to be medicated. One of the medications that they're on actually shuts down the brain's ability because usually in a natural cycle, the woman produces a lot of eggs at the

beginning of the cycle. And then the body chooses one, sometimes two, that's the case of twins, usually fraternal twins. And the body chooses one or two to ovulate that month. So they pick the ones that will grow big and mature so that the sperm can possibly fertilize the egg. In IVF, what we do is we shut down the brain's ability to do that. So we grow as many eggs as we can on the ovaries. So you only have to go through the procedure one time, hopefully, and we can weed out and be more selective with which embryos end up developing the best. When shutting down a woman's brain, does that take a long time or is that a fairly easy? I'm going to get canceled this week.

I can't help it. With the medication we use, there's only one small thing that gets kind of shut to baseline. So no, it doesn't take that long, but the shots in general usually take at least two weeks, sometimes a month, depending on the protocol and the patient. All right. Okay.

When they said come in a cup, I did it once, and they got me one of those Starbucks venti cups. Big gulp. See you later. Big gold. Big gold. See you later. Big gold cups. I always loved that about big gold cups. Remember when like the big gold cup was just a cup and then like they had your

cup holders in a car. By the way, how long did it take society fucking to put them in? Yeah. That didn't come until the fucking early 90s. We'll put a cup holder in. Revolutionary. Right? But then they had the big gulp and then what they did was, oh, it won't fit in the car cups. They made the big gulp big and then they made the bottom

small so it'd still fit in. Fucking science. We're hearing the word gulp when I think about it as it pertains to a big cup of cum is uncomfortable. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. Would you rather it's called a slurpee? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. Would you rather it's called a slurpee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'd rather slurp cum than gulp cum? Yeah, I think so. It's a better way to taste. You're setting the podcast in the wrong direction. We're talking about medical science. This is why my dad won't listen to this podcast. This is the only reason. He knew the big gulps were coming.

Okay, so then when when we get to the surgery part of it what's that process like so then once once the follicles have grown big enough which are the little cysts essentially that the eggs grow on and the ovary it's like i didn't know that there's cysts that the eggs grow? Yeah. So like basically a follicle on an ovary is just a fluid filled pouch. So it's a lot like a cyst, except the difference is there's actually an egg inside of it growing. So the fluid pouch kind of protects the egg while it's on the ovary still. Is that why women always get cysts on their ovaries?

Every girl I meet has had a cyst on their ovaries. It feels like it's a very common thing. It can be really, really common. Is that why women always get cysts on their ovaries? Every girl I meet has had a cyst on their ovaries. It feels like it's a very common thing. It can be really, really common. And certain types of birth control can actually increase the amount of cysts that people have sometimes. So that could be part of it as well. That was a nice face you made there when he said every girl he meets has cysts on their ovaries.

I meant more. Every girl that you've met that you've dated. That I've talked to. Everyone that you've talked to. I'm not just going, you've probably had cis. I don't do that. I'm surprised by that comment. I hear it brought up a lot. I've met several people.

Well, most women don't even know they have them. So maybe every woman you have met does have cisgender. I would be shocked if they knew that. It's just when I come you have met does have cysts. Yeah, exactly. I would be shocked if they knew that. It's just when I come, I actually shoot them off because it's so powerful. Maybe that's it. You pop them. Pressure washer. Now, Rachel, I have a

question because when you ask how many eggs a woman has, a lot of people say a woman is born with all the eggs they're going to have. Isn't it more so like they're born with hundreds of thousands of follicles that can be stimulated to produce eggs? Or so you are actually physically born with all of the eggs that you will ever, ever have in your life. And they just go downhill, just like everything else as you get older as a woman.

just like everything else as you get older as a woman. But what you're saying is also true because like you, the follicles change every month on your ovary, but the eggs are deep in the tissue. So the follicles just kind of grow as the eggs start to come to maturity. Now there's men's sperm decreases. We get older. Is that the, I assume it would. Yeah. There are some more recent studies now saying that like aging, it used to always be assumed that aging in men never caused fertility issues because the numbers don't always go down for men. But as your testosterone decreases over time, usually your sperm count goes down as well.

But more and more, the problem with men and aging is that the DNA of the sperm they're finding degrades over time. So that's why there's a higher instance of like autism with older fathers. I heard this. Yeah. And is it more chance of down syndrome and stuff? There's a few different things. It's not necessarily down syndrome, but what we, what they have found a link to definitely is autism. Right. Could that be why we have an increase in autism in our society because people are having children later? It could be part of it. Also, this is just a personal opinion of the mind that we can recognize

it easier now than we were able to 20 years ago, so it's more diagnosed. We know more that there's a spectrum but yeah because my kid goes to a fancy school in hollywood and i'm fucking 44 and i'm like the youngest dad there yeah yeah like in this town man the the dads are old so there is there are techniques that we can do in ivF now to decrease the chance of choosing a sperm that has a high amount of DNA degradation. But other than that, I mean, you can't test for autism in sperm or embryos or eggs. Can you test for anything in sperm? Can you swirl it around with a little stick?

And if it comes out pink, you're going to gurgle it a little bit. Yeah, this has got some fancy sperm in it. This this one's no good this one's wearing a top hat um you can so sperm is actually the determination of whether a fertilized egg will be have um an xy chromosome or an xx chromosome because they actually carry the x or y chromosome that is determining so you can test for that but not as you're actively using the sperm so you would have to give like a sample have that tested to have an overall general view of what you might be working with so would you say 15 million sperm in a milliliter was that with 15 million is what we said 15 million is the bottom okay so 15 million so it's only one sperm that gets through all those sperms in that shot are they all genetically the same and then another shot's different or all 15 million got their

own unique fingerprint no they've all got their own unique fingerprints that's a great question we did an episode on genetics people get surprised when really good question. People get surprised when I ask you a question. Well, what I was going to say is we did an episode on genetics not too long ago where he did answer that question for you. And I retained something. Sort of. Not really. I never would have thought to ask it at all. Yeah. Maybe that's what it was. Okay. Where are we at? What is an embryo? Jim said when the baby is itty bitty tiny thing. Yeah. Yeah. So an embryo is anything technically from the stage of a zygote, which is a fertilized egg all the way up until really it's the definition is until like tissues and organs start to be formed. So usually that's around like nine, nine weeks of pregnancy.

so usually that's around like nine weeks of pregnancy okay and then how are the eggs removed here we go the same vacuum they use for an abortion they turn it on low pair of pliers circular pair of barbecue tongs these are all the answers yeah I have nothing

to add to that Jim was 100% right no I left out the hair straighteners they wind it up and make it yeah oh god that sounds awful my vagina's burning yeah i never see a vagina with long silky hair you know where it's been so uh the egg retrieval process is a surgical procedure. So the woman does go under anesthesia usually. And there is an ultrasound probe with a long, long needle attached to it that enters the body vaginally.

And then the needle pierces through the vaginal walls to access the ovaries and be able to aspirate the follicles off of the ovaries. Now, Kelly, as someone who has done this, is the recovery painful? Do you even know it's happened to you? Or were you just like, I was knocked out today? The anesthesia is great. You wake up from a really nice nap. Oh, so good. But I mean, I've definitely had difficulty. Like the last one I did, fucked up my body. I gained 100 pounds in a year cause it destroyed some of my organs. But, um, but other than that, most of the recovery was very easy unless you over stimulate the follicles sometimes, or the first time I ever did it, they told me to be on like

bed rest, but I felt fine. So I moved around a little bit and then I was dealing with some cramping. But other than that, it's, uh. So if you've donated, I won't say the amount, but a number of things. So, so genetically there's a number of children that you're genetically their mother. I mean, the only success I know of, because it's anonymous, right? So I know that I have twins out there that they're about 11, but that's because I went through a big situation where we ended up getting in touch. I worked for the guy for a couple of years. He sent the cops to my house.

It was a big thing. But, yeah, I've got twins. I'm glad you just breezed over the cops. It's a wild story. It's a wild story. It's on my Instagram highlights. Go check it out. So you have these kids.

I'm not saying that you want to. By the way, I think it's a beautiful thing that you did. I think it's lovely that you've given people who couldn't have children this big opportunity. What a great gift. Thanks. But are you fearful because you like younger men that in about six, seven years you're going to go, I like this guy.

He's sort of tall. He plays volleyball. Yeah, he's got a good look to him, this fella. I like younger men. You like all men. I don't know. I'm just saying to get to the gag quicker i'm just saying to get to the joke yes maybe i'll fuck my son is that what you want me to say thank you i'm just saying it could happen what will you do when this does happen

there there is there there are restrictions on how many donations a donor can do in any given area because they want to make sure that if these kids grow up, that they're not meeting each other and reproducing, not knowing that they're genetically linked. Right, but if you've got someone in Chicago and then you've got someone in New York, they can still meet. It's still not out of the realm. Right, but it's a lot more probable if you're doing them all in the same region

and people meet each other in school or something like that. What you should have done is just one in each continent or just done some of them in north korea and some of them here because they'll never meet i did one in india did you yeah but it was for a canadian couple oh right right this is like the indian family walking around with the blonde kid going um that being said kelly there is what I see, I see as a possible issue leading toward doing anonymous donations and where your embryos end up, because unless you specify it in a contract, um, oftentimes that couple can offer to donate those embryos that were created like feasibly with your eggs right um

to another anonymous couple so then the cycle of donation doesn't end and you it becomes very very difficult to start so i have a friend who's a gay fellow who has a couple of kids and he bought the eggs and both the kids are full sisters because they bought the, he bought it from the same person. Right. So when they buy the eggs, do you assume there's a facility where they keep him?

You don't get like a freezer in your house or anything. There is a facility, right? It's like Jurassic Park. But people would buy, people would buy multiple of yours because they want to have multiple kids they want them all to be the same well yeah you mean in multiple unless the first one turns out shit they go we're going with other eggs they're like you

know what we got to switch something up here do you mean in in one session or in multiple times like do they let's say i was to have a child and then i might want to have another child in two or three years time do i buy the two eggs now and have one left in a freezer so that my kids will all be genetically the same or can i only buy one at a time rachel you want to speak to this yeah so i mean even kelly since you've done your donations the field has changed quite a bit so it used to be your egg donor had to go to the clinic and be seen at the clinic and have her procedure done at the clinic that you, your physician was at. And then the eggs would be there on site and they would get fertilized and grow them into embryos. And maybe you transfer an embryo and then you have a bunch to freeze. Then you're set for future birds of biological siblings.

However, now there's a big push to doing egg donor banks. And so they, like you're saying, Jim, they freeze a batch of eggs on a woman who probably does several retrievals. And then yes, if that batch is still available later on, you can buy another cohort is what they call them from the same donor. But the problem is if, you know, you have a child and then in 10 years, you decide to want another

biological child, number one, those eggs have probably been sold. And that donor is now too old to really be donating her eggs with very much success. But yeah, so yes, you can do that. And people do it with donor sperm all the time, all the time too. And if you're really, really certain about something, sure you, and you have a lot of money, you can buy an entire lot. And it sounds terrible to refer to them like it's plastic where you get like six in a box, like regular, exactly. You can buy like six eggs, six frozen eggs from a donor cohort and but usually there's several more from that one donation now make sure they're not cracked so it's a real serious issue so so so you donate these eggs you don't get paid anything

nothing oh no you get paid oh you do get no you get paid. Oh, you do get paid. No, you get paid a lot. Oh, okay, okay. Well, I didn't know that. Okay, donations. Okay. So how much do you get for donating a bit of sperm? It's always fascinating to me. Whenever I see a movie and they always go, and he's a Harvard Oxford graduate who is an astronaut, right? I'm like, why is this guy coming in a cup then?

This guy's an NBA player. Why is he bothering? A lot of times, um, med students, there's usually a fertility clinic nearby their medical school. And it's an easy way to make like an extra, maybe $50, honestly. Um, but I think that, you know, back when, uh, sperm donation was new, it was oftentimes medical students. So that bio is probably not that inaccurate. Back when sperm donation was new, it was oftentimes medical students.

So that bio is probably not that inaccurate. And then they become successful. Eventually they can say they graduated and are doctors or whatever. They could be like a whole lot of frat boys. Yeah. If you're playing college basketball and you're not making any money, you're like, oh, I got some sperm and now you're in the NBA. If they're getting 50 bucks and I have the quantity that I have, would they separate my coming to two cups and could I get like $80?

Like I'm not asking for $100. No, they're going to pay you per ejaculate. They're not going to pay you per bile frozen. It should be by volume. Yeah, it should be by volume. I have so few skills. You know what? I'm going to work on changing the donor bank policies for you.

Next time I see you, well, I've never seen you in person, but if I ever see you in person because you're friends with Kelly or at a party or something like that, I'm going to duck off to the room and I'm going to come back with a cup. And you're going to go, you're proving me wrong. This is the thing that will end up getting Jim cancelled. And it's like, I just wanted to show an embryologist my cum. It's not like the old days where I could do it like three times a day.

If I've had a wank that day, I'll be like, I can't show you. I'm sorry. But if I've had a bit of a dry patch, I'll come back with a fucking big cup. Big gulp. What's most upsetting to me is that if that were to happen, I wouldn't find it weird because that's just the field that I'm in. She loves cum.

It makes it less awkward for me. How many eggs are usually retrieved when they are retrieved? It is totally dependent on the patient. Sometimes it's one and for some patients it's like 50. It depends on what your, what your infertility diagnosis is and also your age and your egg reserve,

essentially. So it's totally different, but they say the average is around eight to 10. I got it. There's a term that, um, that the medical people have to stop using when it comes to older women who have – because I've had a baby with someone who is slightly older than me and all that sort of stuff. But a geriatric pregnancy. Fuck me if they're not already going through enough being pregnant and all that sort of stuff without using the word geriatric as a medical term, a geriatric pregnancy.

Why do you do that? And how can we stop you? Listen, it's not my choice. So let me just clear my name with that right now. But you get what I'm saying. It seems super. Yeah, it's so upsetting. And to be honest, like I don't have any children,

but if I were to have one now, I would be considered a geriatric pregnancy. And that makes me want to cry. To be 35 years old and someone's calling you a geriatric. When does it start? When you start becoming geriatric? I think it's like 35. 35 is called a geriatric pregnancy. Those old women are 35 years old. Yeah. It's pretty now. A lot of times they won't actually refer to it as geriatric, but it is still called advanced maternal age. So that's not.

Do they ever do jokes where they go down there and come up with cobwebs? You know, I've never done that. It sounds like it'd be a hit. It's a good one to do around Halloween. Okay. Okay. Real quick. It sounds like it'd be a hit. It's a good one to do around Halloween. Yeah, it's a Halloween transfer. Okay, okay. Real quick, with the eggs,

maybe you answered this, but a woman is born with all of the eggs, and then do we know how many that is about? It's about 400,000. 400,000, okay, wow. But then by the time they reach puberty, it's already less than half of that. And the confusing 400,000. Okay, wow. to ovulate that month. And what happens to those other eggs is they just get reabsorbed into like, they're just gone. It's not like if you're on birth control pills and you're not getting a

period every month, um, that you're, you're saving those eggs by any means. And then also when you do go through IVF cycles and you're having 20 retrieved, it doesn't mean that you're like taking away from future egg development. Now, is it the younger the eggs, the better? Or like, is it like teenage eggs the best? And then it's like 24, they peak at 25 and go down. What a weird question. It is a really weird question, but it's very true. The younger the eggs are pretty much the more, the higher the chance that they're genetically normal and that's why you have a higher pregnancy rate the younger that you are so once you hit 35 not only are you a geriatric pregnancy but you also have a rapid decrease in your fertility rate

because your eggs are starting to now become genetically abnormal thank God I'm finally in the clear. Who is, isn't it so cool? Who is eligible for IVF? Uh, Jim said over the age of 18, if you have enough money, that works. Those things are both correct. Very,

very correct. IVF is incredibly expensive. And so it's not accessible to a lot of people in the U S um, I will say in Australia and now in Germany, my experiences are a little bit different because the IVF fields in both of those countries are a little bit subsidized by the government. So it's usually more affordable for patients. So you're seeing a higher volume of patients actually go through the procedures as well. Yeah. That's why I went to India because IVF in North America. You, cause you, cause the whole process is what takes forever. It's like, so you're going to see

those doctors, but medical tourism is very popular because it's like a quarter of the cost of what it would be in North America. And that's a question, but how much is it? You can just answer that now. Jim said 10,000 per time. So it depends on the clinic and where you're located. And also if you're living in a state that's insurance mandated, because there are a few states in the US that do have some fertility coverage. But usually you're going to pay, I would say minimum around $10,000. And thatF cycle, depending on where you are and how intricate and advanced your stimulation protocols are. Is that good? Because it stops poor people from procreating. That is not.

So many hot takes this episode. This is the canceled episode. It's the last one. It's the last one we're doing people. I'm just saying, you know, they can't afford the kids. It's like the world's already over. Oh're doing, people. What are you saying? They can't afford the kids. It's like the world's already over.

Well, jumping ahead here, what is the success rate of IVF? Jim said 30%. Now, when you answer that question, I also, if it costs somebody, let's say $15,000, $20,000 to do this, it could not work too, right? Yeah, you have to keep coming back. It's very likely to not work. Do you get like a money back thing? Like, hey hey that one didn't work my brother went through it three or four times do offer a sort of money back guarantee now actually so you pay up front for

like four ivf cycles or something and then if you get pregnant after the first one they give you some sort of reimbursement package back um i would say that if you're under 35, the national average for pregnancy is probably around 55%, maybe closer to 50%. And that's take home birth rate usually. So that means you'll have a baby in your hands if you go through an IVF cycle. But once you start to increase the age, there's a drop off. So you're probably at like 40% if you're between 35 and 38. And then it drops off pretty significantly thereafter. So 40 to 41, or sorry, 39 to 40 is probably closer to 30%. And then after that, it's like, pretty, pretty low. And once you're over 42, it's like, maybe one. Do you ever have people come to you after it's all done and come into your office with the baby and go why didn't you

tell us how hard this is what the fuck did i waste my money on yeah no i haven't gotten that do you ever say to me do you ever just pull them aside and just go, okay, so we're ready to go here. We're filling in the paperwork. We've got the money. Just a quick thing. Having a baby sucks. Are you sure?

Are you sure? It really sucks. It gets better, but it's really hard work. Can you two? Not having a child of my own, I don't try to put that on them. It's bloody hard work. I love my kids in many ways, but holy hell. You love them in many ways. Can you choose the sex of the child? Jim says yes, but they don't encourage it.

If you do genetic testing on the embryos, which is now available, yes, you can choose the sex of the embryo. Oftentimes what it's actually used for is to check the genetic component other than the sex chromosomes. So to prevent Down syndrome or other types of numerical abnormalities in embryos that can cause either miscarriage or, you know, any sort of like issue with Klinefelter syndrome is another one that has a numbers error in the embryo. And so if you have a genetically normal embryo, it can increase your chance of pregnancy. If you have multiple, then sure, sometimes depending on the physician, they might let you choose which sex you want.

With what you're doing, has there been historically or even now any pushback from religious groups that believe? Yes. I don't know because I thought they were all for us all getting pregnant and keeping it all. Yeah, but they only like you to get pregnant if it's under their terms. They don't like you to seek help some religions i mean i think some religions are coming around to it as it's gaining more and more popularity and also

their numbers of church members are dying in rapid amounts and they want to up those numbers so now they're like it's cool you can do ibf we're fine with it um but they didn't want people who could because it wasn't god's will is that yeah they yeah but but god made you and you're the one doing it is someone willing it along hey yeah so it's involved at some point or we're all on the same team on this one but um yeah there are a lot of religious and, you know, it's also, unfortunately not uncommon to see like anti-abortion, uh, protesters outside of fertility clinics sometimes, because I don't know, they'd like to shame and make everyone feel bad about everything always. Um, and so because we store embryos on site and we have to discard embryos if patients don't want to use them, they also sometimes come

after fertility clinics. Because of the discarded embryo. Do you put them in a compost heap or something like that? Yeah, I mean, and you have to turn it every month so that it gets the right air. Do you ever get people going through the trash trying to find some old eggs?

See this rosebush? No, but you know what? Beautiful. Sometimes it's not uncommon for patients who want to discard their extra embryos to ask to take them with them and bury them or take them to their church and have them

blessed by their priest or whatever. So yeah. Thousands of bloody eggs and things. You can make an omelet. What is IUI and how is it different than IVF? Jim said in-up-in instructions of having sex.

Have a baby naturally. What's IUI? It's like a cheat code for a game. It's intrauterine inseminations. What you do with IUI is the eggs stay in the body so you everything stays in the body and all you're doing is taking the sperm sample concentrating it and washing it for any of the debris that is commonly found in semen

um and putting it directly into the uterus debris and semen. For any of the debris that's in semen. You got some mulch in there. There's a sense. There's shrapnel from the fuselage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, there's a tumbleweed.

No, but like, you know, it's a bodily fluid. So sometimes you have like bacteria or anything like that. I mean, there can be things in there where, you know, I came into this cup, but I was also spitting tobacco in there. Don't swim through that garbage patch that's the size of Texas. You'll get pregnant.

So you just clean it up and put it directly into the uterus and see if it will fertilize the egg more naturally on its own. It's a less expensive route. It also has a significantly lower success rate, but for patients who aren't ready to like dive into the world of IVF or it's, it don't have as much money to be able to afford a full IVF cycle. It's, it's another option for them. Do that. Do you, when they first come in and go,

doc, we've been, but they go, we've been trying, we've been having sex, we're having that. Do you ever look at the couple and go, do you leave it in on the last thrust or do you, you know what I mean? Or like all those things. Have you tried handstands after he comes in yet? The woman's meant to be on an angle so the cum flows up a bit more or anything like that? Are any of those true? I mean, they're pretty much wives tales for the most part. Wives are mothers. They're old wives. They probably have plenty of kids. Well, son of a bitch, you got me there. The old husband tales.

You don't want to hear the old husband you did mention at the beginning like are you putting it in the right hole i've had patients not be putting it in the right hole so the idea of why you're not was that the dad who was grinning here to hear there just seems to be like a lot of confusion among both of them. You have to get a chart out. Yeah. That stage, do you feel like going, we don't want you to have kids? Well, I mean, thankfully, I just work in the lab.

So it's only just the nurses and doctors. So you're in the lab there with your egg and your cums all around you all around me yeah you're there with cups that come everywhere and you gotta you gotta i hope you keep a clean desk by the way that seems like a job where you need to have a nice efficient area so you've got bloody come all over not over here all around you and you got some eggs in a tray and all that type of stuff and then a nurse comes back like this and goes, come here. Rachel, come here.

There's a couple who's fucking each other in the ass and they don't know why they're getting pregnant. And then you're like... Yeah, I mean pretty much. Why wouldn't they use a vagina? He says he'd rather use the ass. He says they're too close together, he can't figure them out. Why would they put him right there?

Yeah, yeah. How long does the procedure take? And is the process painful? Jim says it takes longer than sex with him, shorter than an episode of The Simpsons movie. Want to block off the whole afternoon. Give yourself an afternoon. Go out to lunch before.

Have the thing. Do the procedure. Go to Soho House and have a couple of drinks. How long does it take? Is it painful? He said, yeah, I think we can agree it's probably painful. But yeah, and I think Kelly spoke to that a little bit, right? Yeah.

For me personally, I froze my eggs and it wasn't painful. But the entire process leading up to, like the actual surgical procedure wasn't painful. But the process leading up to it is a little daunting because you do have to inject yourself multiple times a day with needles and you're all hopped up on hormones and you already feel like a crazy person. You had to inject yourself with a needle. You have to take the, Oh no.

Forrest, you're not going to enjoy diabetes. I'm going to train Arnie how to give me a shot. The actual surgical procedure only takes like 30 minutes. It's an outpatient procedure. So you go home that same day. No, you shouldn't be drinking afterwards because you have had amnesia. Kelly?

And don't go out for a lunch beforehand. Kelly, you had a few bevies afterwards. You're like, at the bar in the building, the frozen egg. The frozen yolk. I had a slurpee of cum after my procedure. Delicious. All those drinks look like blue milk from Star Wars.

But so that day you have your surgical procedure. and basically what happens is for the next several hours the embryologist is culturing and cleaning the cells before they can end well like jim said he mentioned a process where you inject the sperm directly into the egg that's called ixy it's intracytoplasmic sperm injection and also because it's a bit icky. But that is a process that's usually used for male factor infertility, but now it's really, really widespread and used. Otherwise, we just put the sperm and egg together in a drop and see if they fertilize in a more conventional way on their own. And then the following day, we check fertilization and then we check the embryoos development every day, most days at least, for the next five days. And that's usually if the patient is having an embryo transfer along with their retrieval cycle. Then we transfer the embryo or embryos on day five.

And then they find out if they're pregnant about two weeks after that. Here's one for you that's going to sound like I'm trying to make a joke. So if someone has a low sperm count, is the solution to make him come several times to make it a bigger load? I know it's like, and if you haven't tried that, I think I've just got a life hack. Crack the code. I think I just crack the code.

Save it for the segment. No, no, but if it's not enough come, just you cum several times, we'll add it all together. Lots of cum. So yeah, in theory that might work. The problem is, is if you, so basically we tell men to have an abstinence period of two to five days prior to their collection, because then you can kind of accumulate a good amount of sperm cells in one ejaculate but not have too many that have been sitting there too long and might have some dna degradation from just sitting in your testicles um and so you have this abstinence

period and then so once you ejaculate usually you're following ejaculate jim you can probably speak to this like so the cone that's in the whiskey cup in my cinema, is that still good? No. What? Yeah, definitely. I dreamt of that. Each time you ejaculate in a given day, you're going to actually produce less volume just because the gland needs to

kind of work. If I don't come for ages, I get that first little bit that's like jelly. You know, that like gelatin bit? Yeah. Is that some powerful ass cum or is that an infection? No, it's like old and dry. You know how like rubber cement and you put it on something. It feels like silicon.

It's like it's not biodegradable. I just imagine Jim sitting there playing with his own case. Like, Ooh. Yeah. I love that jelly cum, man. I tell you what, if you haven't come for a few days and you have that been, it really has to work its way through to the end of your cock.

And then when it shoots out, you're like jelly cum. I'm telling you, that's a good ass. That is not experienced. You drink too much. It's not like everyone does. You havenank too much. It's not like everyone does. You know what I mean? If you haven't had it, it's okay. But you know that little bit that comes out like a small worm?

What? It's like a gummy worm coming out. I know exactly what you're talking about. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. Gives the woman something to play with after you go to the bathroom. Forrest, do you have this? Some episodes, I feel like Louise is like,

I don't know what I'm going to the bathroom. Forrest, do you have this? Some episodes, I feel like Louise is like, I don't know what I'm going to use here for... There's not enough clips for me to use to promote the show. This one, I feel like there's going to be a lot. All clips. Jelly worm. You got to have yourself a hell of a conversation. Are the results better when you use your own egg sperm

versus donor egg sperm? Jim says no difference at all. Unless you use jelly cum. Don't't use jelly cum there's never any sperm in it pretty much tastes like it has sperm in it i have so many things about okay um so if you use donor egg and sperm it just depends if you're older than yes usually you're going to have a higher success rate because those gametes uh the donor either sperm or eggs are usually from a younger patient and so again you're going to have a higher chance of genetic normality in the chromosomes that they offer okay all right and our last question how did octomom have eight children through ivf he said i believe that she put too many eggs in her at once.

She put all of her eggs in one basket. They put all the eggs in there at once. And then one bit of jelly come went in there and it went off like a shrapnel bomb. So she, I think transferred like 12 embryos in one cycle. Yeah. And yeah,

it's that's what happens. And it shouldn't, but he lost his medical license and... She got a TV show? She's meant to be a very nice lady. I know a few people have met her. People thought she was a psychopath, but she's meant to be a very nice lady.

I mean, I think in a lot of IVF, they implant more than one embryo sometimes just to make sure there's a chance that one of them sticks. Yeah, so definitely around the time that she was doing her IVF, I think it was like 2008, 2009. Sure, it wouldn't be uncommon to transfer more than one embryo because the success rates were lower. We weren't able to as confidently transfer with a good chance of pregnancy. So we would increase the number of embryos that we transferred at one time. And that's why you saw a huge boom in twins, triplets, things like that. Did she already have kids?

She did. Yeah, she had like six kids. Yeah, six kids or something already. What did you want another one for? What are you bloody doing? Why do you want another one for? What are you bloody doing? Why do you want another one? Why do you want another eight? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Duggars have like 20 kids. Oh, okay.

Can't talk about them. Are those people who get the kids chained to the bed? No, but I just watched the Dateline on that the other night. That's not good either. Yeah, that's not good either. Chaining your kids up to bed. What are you still having kids for? They have like 16 kids there. Yeah, they never let them leave the house. And also, who's having

16 kids? People go, oh, we don't use contraception because we're religious. Isn't a woman who's already given birth to 14 kids contraception enough? What are you still doing? Every time you put your dick in her, oh, another one come along, that would be like, I'm good.

Just going to have a wank and a cup. Jelly cum. Oh, another one come along. That would be like, I'm good. Just going to have a wank and a cup. Yeah. Jelly cum. All right. So jelly cum, jelly cum. What are they feeding you? Got to redo the merch. All right.

This is the part of the show called Dinner Party Facts where we ask our guests to give us one fact or something interesting that our listeners, viewers can impress people at a dinner party or bar about this subject? So the only thing I can really think of off the top of my head, sorry, I've had a lot going on lately, but it's that 10% of all births in Denmark are actually from assisted reproductive technologies. So it's actually the highest percentage by population um of anywhere in the world and it's like that's a crazy amount 10 percent's a high yeah but they're also good looking there that's a that's a good selling point for it man they're all hot as fuck in denmark man yeah good and the other thing in denmark they have an excellent social security um situation for their health care and so it's very, very accessible to their people

as well. Actually, it spawns a lot of fertility tourism within the EU. A lot of other countries who have more restrictive laws, the patients end up usually going there. I read a crazy stat the other day that I don't think I believe, but that one six um children in america um the father isn't the actual father you know like the mother's uh yeah i think that's a bit high as well i think that because also who's the p who when they do this stat when they ask the people they must be finding some low rent ass fucking people in a trailer park to fucking do this he'll answer the question for 20 bucks because i even if i was the woman in there, no one will know, I'd still lie and go, that's the dad.

I would never give that one up. That one would be to the grave. I don't know why I brought that up. But here's my question. I know we meant to wrap that up. Have you ever been labelling cups of cum and gone, oh, fuck, I lost count, and then you go, oh, I just put Mr. Johnson on there.

God, no. No, absolutely not. You can talk about it off air. You can tell the truth off air. If you want to tell a story when you mixed up the cum or then like out of like a fast movie, like where a superhero where one cup of cum accidentally pours into the other cup of cum. Well, there's a movie I just watched on Lifetime recently about it was like switched before birth and they fucked up in that way and then these

people were friends and then realized like wait you that one of your twins is my child she miscarried her child it was a whole i know a couple who two gay guys they both had sex at once with a lesbian so that they could raise the child was going to be their child so they wouldn't know who the father was. And then, you know, one of them was black and one of them was white. It's pretty obvious in the end. I don't know. But one of them had curly hair, one of them had straight hair, and so the baby has curly hair.

So they figured out pretty quick which one it was with. Could Mean Forest, let's say if Mean Forest wanted to get Jack pregnant, right, and if Mean Forest both came in a cup, can you do that? Just stir the cum up, right? We don't ever do that, no. Who would you in theory? If you're doing it at home, sure. Would my cum be dominant and knock the shit out of Forrest's cum?

Oh, IVF, yeah. Would Forrest's cum float to the top? So something that's pretty common, especially in like lesbian couples is if you, you're not technically infertile, you just don't have a sperm exposure. Right. So like you don't have a sperm source. So if you have someone that, you know, that will ejaculate, it is not uncommon to have people get pregnant with a turkey baster at home. So if you guys wanted to pair together, I don't know, it'd have to be a

big goat cup apparently. If Jim's in the audience. What I do is I just fuck the turkey directly and then I pour it into the woman's stuffing. Happy Thanksgiving! I don't need the baster, I just shit it straight up into the tadaka. That's a

DIY baby. I come in need the base. I just shoot it straight up into the tadaka. That's a DIY baby. I come in and the duck falls out. Well, thanks for being here, Rachel Watterson. On that note, we didn't say anything about any social media or anything. Do you want people to follow you? Do you not want anyone to know

who you are after this podcast? Sure. I mean, it's at RLWatterson is my instagram perfect w-a-t-t-e-r-s-o-n s-o-n yeah and my instagram is at jelly cum it will be now that's my that's my private one for all the fun people this this is exactly i wanted to do an episode on this topic but i was like i do not want to bring a some stranger on here because I knew it was going to be, I knew it was going to become heavy. So I'm very glad I knew an expert in this.

I don't think I was rude or anything. No, no, no, no, absolutely not. I asked the questions. What's on everyone's mind.

Yeah. Yeah. It was just a very come heavy. I was good. I learned a lot. I didn't know anything about this. I learned a lot. Oh,

I do want to make an additional follow up comment. Jim, you were talking about vasectomies not being reversed. They do still reverse them. However, the success rate is not as high as it once was believed. So, yes, you're right. And I'm shocked that you know about this procedure because it makes me feel bad for whoever, you know, who's had it done. Otherwise, you wouldn't know about it. But where they do take a needle and stick it directly into the testicles to

retrieve the sperm. You mean nut juice? Yeah. I know. Yes, nut juice. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I know someone who had that done.

You would be very unhappy with me if I mentioned it. Yes, yes, yes. But it's actually a super easy procedure. And guys obviously complain about it a lot. But compared to the surgery that the women have to have, it's much, much easier and less painful. I got to be honest with you. I'm going to get a vasectomy.

And no matter how much it hurts, whatever the healing time is, I'm taking an extra week. Yeah, yeah. Don't tell my wife. It's not even one day. Just so you know. So he's going to have a one week recovery. I'm going to for 10 days. Just give me a bag of ice for when she walks by.

Maybe milk and cookies. I always recommend people freeze their sperm beforehand. That way you don't have to have this surgery thereafter. If you ever decide to try and father another child. I just don't think I should father another child and I think that's enough for me. I think it was George Carlin said you can replace yourself, right? So I've had a baby with two different women. I've had two kids. So I could even have one more and the world's population would

stay the same because it's always the same people. It's these dickheads who have fucking plenty of the fucking things. You rock the people. Anyway, that's a right wing opinion. That's not a right wing. That's a left. Is that a left or a right wing? It's your own section. It's a new direction.

Yeah, that's a new one because all the right wing people are having heaps of the babies, but I'm bothered by people having too many bloody kids. Anytime you want to wrap it up. All right. If you're ever at a party and someone says, all cum is milky and smooth, just shoot a bit of jelly at them and say, I don't know about that and walk away. Good night, Australia.